Post autistic things you do

>>37719511
i admire your commitment.

>>37719511
>walking to Noodles and Co. in the food court
>there's a pretty long hallway to get there
>I try and look down at my phone if possible
>signal's fucking ass but I pretend I'm looking at something
>if there's a couple of people walking slowly I'll go faster and speedwalk around them

That "virgin walk" picture is me to a fucking T.

>>37719511
I do the same. Really don't want to talk to anyone.

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Something very similar
>At a stop sign
>Pretend to keep walking so cars can go ahead instead of stopping for me
>Walk back and cross

>>37719511
go to the same fast food restaurant daily at the same time and order the same sandwich. the employees have started preparing it the second they catch sight of me. pay with a $10 bill, then pay for a drink at the news stand in exact change from the sandwich.
stopped going to the place completely when sales tax changed and I couldn't pay for the drink in exacto anymore.

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>>37719511
>be in a game online
>winning a series of game through out the day and decide ive had my fill of victories
>join a server
>start screeching at my team
>every profanity in my vocabulary is thrown at both teams in public voice chat
>call napalm on our spawn and artillary on a squad trying to infiltrate an enemy hill position
>enemy team laughing their asses off
>vote kick is started
"YOU WILL ALL REMEMBER ME AND MY WRATH WHEN THERES NO TP FOR MY BUUUUUNG HOOOOOLE"
>vote kick passed
>smoke a bowl of weed and continue this through out the rest of the night

Its really addicting

>>37719633
>go slower when approaching corner to let cars pass
>sometimes round the corner and cross behind cars instead of crossing like a normal
>mfw my inferiority complex is this severe

>>37719600
OP here, I don't even do it because I don't want to talk, I do it because I know we won't talk at all. It will go like this:

>hi anon
>hi
>how was your day?
>fine and yours?
>also ok
>next 10-20 minutes of akward silence

>>37719511
Ive been doing that since highschool, I don't take the bus anymore since there is a chance some of then might be inside, lucky for me I live in a small shit town so i don't really need the bus to go anywhere

>cant play vidya if there is somebody watching me or near me
>if someone walk in my room while Im playing I turn off everything

>>37719511
>Feel like I have to say hello and wave to everyone at work
>Even when they're not looking I wave anyway in case they turn around so they don't think i'm ignoring them on purpose
>at least people kind of like me now and see me as the really friendly, smiley guy
aside from that I try to keep my shit under control at work

>I hum, laugh, make weird noises when I'm alone and I talk to myself
>I can't go any further than, "how are you doing today?" in conversations. I hate talking to people
>when I'm listening to music I slap my tongue in my mouth to the BPM of the song

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>imagine I'm driving a sports car in class
>work the clutch, brakes, gas and shifter
>engine noises in my head

>>37719687

>saying "exacto"

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>when alone, pace back and forth, repeating the same phrases over and over again, i.e. "I hate my life", "I want to kill myself"
>spontaneously say something as if I was in the middle of a conversation, even though no one is talking to me, i.e "mmm... I don't know, what do you think?"
>rock back and forth when trying to concentrate on something or if I'm starting to get stressed
>habitually scratch all around my scalp to get the dead skin and oils under my fingernails and roll them around my fingers
>scream existential things in the car
>among any little amount stress or hyperactivity, I will fidget so fucking much, especially with leg shaking ,that you will feel the table shake if you're siting across from me; almost like a mini earthquake

Here's a related story:
>hypersensitivity to touch and hearing if I have even a little bit of stress
>be me, working on computer science assignment with buddy next to me, also doing the same assignment
>we're in the lobby of a very busy residential hall
>getting stressed by it, and having a bunch of deadlines
>a couple of normies start talking and increasingly get louder
>friend isn't phased by it but me on the other hand...
>stress keeps building up
>rocking back and forth
>leg shaking to oblivion
>scratching scalp so much that hair is falling out like I was on chemo
>auditory input seems to be getting louder and louder
>can't fucking concentrate
>immediately just let loose
>scream "I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER ALL OF YOU"

I think people saw I was under stress so they all pretended to ignore. There's no way they didn't hear me.

I wish I could be another person and not have these autistic problems. It seems to be getting worse as time goes on.

>>37719511
that's not even autistic. 95% of the well adjusted people with normal lives would do that.

> horrible phobia of talking on the phone, almost fatally phobic if someone is around me who can listen (for the life of me I cannot comprehend the rude normies who have loud personal conversations on their phones in public)

> phobic of anybody watching me brush my teeth--have to close the bathroom door

> in my bowling league, it causes me visible stress if one team gets far enough ahead, in turns, of the other one that the same team is up on both lanes (bowlers will know what I mean)

> contantly having conversations with someone in my head, either a) planning ahead for a conversation I know will happen (e.g. at work) so I know what I will say, b) replaying one where I sperged out, saying it how I wish I had said it, or c) imagining having an actual friend who was actually interested in me and telling a story of something that happened to me that they actually care about hearing

Give me my autism medal now

I read books so I can have imaginary conversations with fictional characters. That way I feel like I have friends.

Being interrupted by anybody (which happens perpetually when around normies) instantly squashes my self esteem to sub-zero and makes me want to never speak to them again. Even if they say "sorry, what were you saying?", I fell like a little kid who lost his balloon and often just say "Oh, nothing..."

Simultaneously do not like the fuss of recognition for doing something well, and hurt if not recognized for doing something well.

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> have much better memory than most people, apparently

> use it primarily to replay every embarrassing moment or stupid thing I ever said or did since the age of 5 and believe that those are the primary moments people think of regarding me (most likely they have totally forgotten years ago).

>>37720883
is talking to yourself out loud weird? i started doing this a lot, even when i'm shopping.

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>>37719633
I can one-up you

>pic related, I'm blue dot, walking home, there's a car
>I figure I'll walk behind him so he doesn't have to wait
>he slows down well before the stop sign
>oshit it looks like I'm autistically going really out of my way
>car stops like 5 meters before the sign, no idea why
>rather than go where I'm headed, I just keep walking right for ~2 minutes, looking back to see if he's moving
>once he's gone I come back around
>hope no one saw me do a 180
>driver certainly didn't and wouldn't give a shit anyway

and while I'm at it
>spend 10 minutes making pic on paint
>has to be 400x400
>autistically making a diagram for explaining my autism
checkmate niggers

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>wonders if post is parody of other greentext
>realize I'm on r9k
>become autistic

>40 posts in the past hour in a thread
>I post (I almost never post on this site)
>0 replies for the next hour
kill me


>>37721148
dude what the fuck

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I laugh out loud to myself when I think of something funny. I think it's happening more frequently. Should I be worried?

>Get bored by conversation so I start using lines from TES4 Oblivion voice lines.

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>avoid posting greentexts on 4chan in fear of someone judging you

>>37721168
It also means you are clearly socially aware so you are not true autism. Op is liar

>>37721572
it comforts me but also makes me very uncomfortable that I'm not the only one that is this autistic. I did this a few hours ago. I do this almost every day.
other shit related:
>finally get courage to go to store in the appropriate 15-minutes-till-closing window
>ninja my way inside so I'm not seen
>literally out of stock of the one thing I came for
>sweat.inf
>start thinking about and looking for alternatives or other things I need or want
>can't think clearly enough to do that
>need to leave
>i've been in here for 10 minutes before closing
>looking sketch
>can't leave with nothing, they'll think I'm stealing
>get something cheap, go to pay
>3 people in line
>casually walk past and down another aisle
>pretend to look at whatever is there
>carefully glance back and do a lap of aisles until there's only 1 person there
>go there
>suddenly 2 people get behind me
>act as if I just remembered something, speedwalk away to an aisle
>do lap of the store
>check to see how many people are there now
>quickly try to pay
>>Find everything you need?
>ehhh heh uh yeah thanks
>power walk home while being angry at myself for being like this and buying whatever bullshit I bought

>Being introduced to someone
>They go for the handshake
>I go for the wave
Every.. Fucking. Time.

>>37722264
Happens to me to.
It is so strange to me that this never happens to normies. They only laugh at things happening in the present moment, can't they think or something?

>>37719633
>Decide to cross street after owner of car gives a few angry waves of their hand.
>Sprint across so that I won't further inconvenience them every time.

Are cars the true robot enemy?
>Aproaching crosswalk zebra , see car speeding up
>stop and pull my phone just in case
>car stops anyways
>pretend im reading message on my phone
>car moves
>wait till he is out of sight then cross to the other side.
what the fuck is wrong with me

>browsing /r9k/
i think thats enough

>>37723036
>be me
>my area has very pedestrian friendly laws
>overall friendly drivers
>always stopping and waving me across
Thankyou nothankyou

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>>37720752
>if someone walk in my room while Im playing I turn off everything
>Anon, everytime I come to your room you go click click and your on your homescreen. What are you hiding lol xd
Everyone in my family has said that to me
at least once.
It's not that I'm hiding something, I just feel like they are breaching my privacy by seeing how I waste my time. It makes me feel so exposed and that makes me uncomfortable.

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>>37719511
>unzips pants
>keep staring down the hall to make sure my gf isn't coming out of the bedroom
>starts to fap
>turns around to make sure she isn't behind me
>looks to make sure she isn't on the couch
>turns to bedroom again
>starts to fap again
>freaks out again
>can't fap
>decides to grab cell phone and go into the bathroom
>can't get hard
>tries again on the computer
>whole thing repeat
>just wait till she leaves for work
>faps

>>37723056
>tfw someone stops lets you turn into a lane from a T intersection

>>37719583
strange you bring up the virgin walk. I've never touched a pussy in my life but I have really good posture. Never had or understood this issue. Just look at how male celebrities like the Rock move around and try to mimic that. It sounds autistic but normie chads do it all the time.

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>>37719809
originalerigono

not sure if all of these are considered autistic since im a dumb fuck but

>stim
>have to crack jokes out loud so the people watching me will like me and be my buddies instead of enemies
>do the "that's me!" when watching movies and series or playing vidya
>play with insects and stare at them for long periods of time
>play with toys and do babby puzzles even though im an adult
>search for posts about my personality type, zodiac sign or country and feel really good about myself
>forget how to walk when around people

>>37721472
OP said autistic things you do, not normal things.

>>37722424
Fuck, just get some TES loving friends and you're set, I do this shit a lot too.

>>37723150
>afraid of your GF watching you fap
what the actual fuck, why??

>>37719511
>occasionally have 30+ minute discussions with myself
>pace around while doing ahove
>sometimes stare at randoms for more than 5 seconds
>have irrational fear of waiting in lines if there is more than one person waiting
>feel anxious and somewhat nauseous when surrounded by too many people
>when alone I act like a literal retard; this includes making random noises, dancing like a sperg, etc
>I've had so little social interaction I keep saying random shit when I do manage to talk to people (mostly family)
>Every time I'm about to post on a thread I check it like 10 times before posting, constantly re-editing it (like this one)
Probably not the most autistic thing here but one time I had a two hour conversation with myself about how humans came to be on Earth. This is probably the only reason I can still manage some level of speak.

>try and walk down stairs normally
>for some reason I spaz out and skip a step with one foot
>freak out because feet at different heights
>try to adjust without stopping
>end up jumping the last 6 or so steps
>make a loud thud and everyone is starring

>>37721540
>>is talking to yourself out loud weird?
yes, very.

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>>37719511
>make fake social media accounts
>find girls I know or see in real life's social media
>message them asking if they could sell me videos or pictures of their feet
>pay them in Amazon GC so they don't know it is me
>jerk to those sweet feet, satisfied with the feeling that I know how lewd these girls I know are
>social media, foot videos, Mercedes

>get distracted with washing a cup or something, by nerding out over and playing with water flow and fluid dynamics
>10 minutes of angling a spoon into the water flow
>feel bad about wasting that much water to feed my autism
>can't explain this and things like this to anyone

>>37721540
not when you're alone, in a populated area, yes it is. It shouldn't stop you, though. People who talk to themselves tend to be very deductive.

>>37719511
>Pretend to be two people
>Arguing with self
>Realize I'm losing the argument with myself
>Sabotage the side I'm losing to so that 'real' me can win the argument
>Grin and start insulting myself before standing up, walking down the hallway and twirling down the stairs while laughing

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>>37721148
>Saying "I hate myself"
>Spontaneous talking like I was in a conversation
>Scratching hair and taking dead stuff out my fingers

Holy fuck. Are you me?

>>37722264
how would you ever rationalize in your head that this is weird? This is shit everybody does, the fact that you think about it shows how self-conscious you are.

>>37723258
>forget how to walk around people
Shit man, I can't even say I walk it's more like I stumble around, especially when someone is looking at me

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>>37721752
Here's a (You) anon. Do you feel better now?

>>37723351
>OP asks for autistic shit
>you respond with completely normal shit
not only have you wasted water, but post space as well.

>>37723327
I fap to some very strange things anon. Things that she'd probably leave me because.

>>37723407
>mfw I didn't know normies often get on their knees in front of the sink and play with water for literally an hour as an adult
>mfw I think you're just being rude and No True Robot'ing me
>mfw I have no face

>>37723439
that makes sense
>>37723452
This is human nature, even as an adult. we like toying with stuff like this, and the fact that you don't know that is alarming. The first step out of robothood is learning human nature.

Actually, half the shit in every "post autistic things" thread is just shit that everybody does so you can at least take comfort in knowing you're not alone.

>>37723495
lol ok anon

>>37721397
>>Simultaneously do not like the fuss of recognition for doing something well, and hurt if not recognized for doing something well.
same.

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>>37720915
Jesus I just did that

>>37722553
please post a greentext origanon

>>37722264
>around friends
>someone makes a joke
>everyone laughs me included
>the laughter quickly dies down
>try to stop laughing too
>can't
>try to force myself to stop but have to think about it over and over and start smiling and laughing quietly again for a couple of minutes
god, i hate when this happens

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>Have earbuds in at all times so I don't have to talk to people and can just ignore them under the pretense I couldn't hear them if they try.

>>37719511
I try to write a ses story every time I see a ses thread

u r walkin 2 the bus stop
c some1 u no
turn 360 and walk away
after 5 minutes return
he/she is no longer there
u wait 4 the bus
suddenly ses

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> can't walk in a straight line when many people are around

>>37723615
I forgot to add that its autistic because I'll have them in when they're not plugged into anything.

>>37723598
This happens to me too. Just embrace it and laugh harder. Most of the time, your friends laugh at the fact that your laughing so hard. At least in my experience.

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>>37720915
>Do this frequently while in the lunch area at my school
>One day someone calls me out
>Make face like pic related
>say something along the lines of "Come on, you're ruining my little moment, here."
>Continue

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>tfw cut off contact from all my friends because I don't want them to see me like this

>>37723624
I relate to this
For a long time I just tucked the cable into my pocket, had nothing to plug them in to

now I wear earplugs 99% of the time I leave my place

>>37723676
That revolver looks like a 3D rendering. what game is it from?

>>37723701
It's a photo of an actual Colt.

>>37722264
Whenever someone tells me something terrible they heard on the news like a bus full of children exploded in detroit my first thought is "Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if I just started laughing right now?" Then I instantly burst out laughing.

And I wonder why I don't have any friends

>>37723253
hey is that book any good?

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>>37723564
n-no

t. anxious origanon

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>>37721572
I'm finding such a sense of belonging in this thread

>be me walking down the street
>see car slowing down for me
>decide to pretend I'm not crossing
>walk to the next crossing then cross there
>go around the whole block just so he didn't have to wait for me

>>37723347
why don't you blackmail them saying you'll send the chat logs as well as the pictures of their feet to their parents? If you know them on social media finding their parents shouldn't be hard, get your money back and maybe even get more pics out of it.

>>37724087
Don't be a fucking pussy, anon. Just do it.

Does anybody else walk through crowds like Ezio? It's way easier to rotate your torso diagonally and occasionally gently push people out of your way with your hands than to just walk straight through people or say "excuse me" to everyone in your way like a retard.

>>37724401
I used to do that sort of thing in high school, but around 25 I became painfully self-conscious about being publicly weird. So now I try to act as normal as possible.

>>37722790
self-checkout is a fucking godsend

>>37724505
yeah but my store doesn't have them

Whenever I have to pee at uni where I am, go out of the building walk 5 minutes and go to a stall in a toilet in the library.
I cant go to the toilet when there are people who know me.

>>37719766
I love winding people up in games they're trying to win

Also I hate morons who nust fuck about when I'm trying to win

>>37724526
sucks to be you, nearly every shop near me has one so it's pretty easy to buy shit

>>37722915
>wave

wut?

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wtf I relate to almost every post am I an autist? My older brother is but he is kind of the slow autist. Guys help me i'm scared.

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>can't smoke indoors
>if the line is longer than 4 people, leave the shop

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>always looking up at passing planes/the moon/pretty clouds
>lie down in the bath when I'm having a shower and just think
>constantly feel like I'm playing the don't let the other person see you looking at them with everyone on the bus
>constantly feel people talking/laughing about me in public
>make pictures of Gondola that I want to show my friends but never do
>have hours of made up conversations and monologues in my head all the time
>listen to music and think up music videos/movie scenes/game scenes for the track
>had a huge personal philosophical realisation of the universe years ago that I keep entierly to myself

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> walk on a sidewalk
> see someone stare at me
> do one of following things
> a/ stare into distance, squint and pretend I see something interesting
> b/ look at the car parked nearby really closely and pretend to admire it even though it's shitty Prius
> c/ pull out my phone and pretend someone is calling me and I can't hear him "Hello...you there?...Hello?" and then put the phone back in my pocket

That's.....that's not weird, right?

>>37725380
>tfw almost always talking on my phone when in public
>tfw it's almost always turned off while I'm doing it

>>37724401
>occasionally gently push people out of your way with your hands
don't fucking touch me!

>>37725422
>tfw it's almost always turned off while I'm doing it
good thinking. don't want it to suddenly ring, do you?

>>37719511
pretend i'm riding a motorbike when i'm walking about. i have my hands in my pockets doing the throttle and brakes i do the noises in my head as well.
i'm 37

>>37719806
>>37719633
I do this but it's polite not autistic! That way in busy areas they don't miss their chance to go because of me

>>37723335
GAH YOU ARE ME

>>37723335
i can relate to all of these

>>37725483
Exactly. I used to just put it on silent but sometimes I'd get an alert that would turn the screen on or make it vibrate and sometimes that could be awkward.

>>37725364
Tell me about these conversations

>>37725726
Anything and everything, usuually me trying to explain something or an aspect of myself becaus when it articulates itself in that way I can be sure of what I mean. I feel a lot of feelsnot all of which I can describe with words, that's what I see this as working towards.

I'll usually pace and enjoy doing it while stoned because I always surprise myself with my own creativity.

>choose to be a musician

>>37725528
you can just wave them through, you know?

>>37725380
When I'm shopping alone sometimes I just hold my phone up to my ear so that people don't talk to me.
Whenever someone still tries to get my attention I point at my phone, hold a hand up at them,
or give them my specialty which is a "N-no."

>>37725842
>do that
>they wave back
>wave
>wave
>wave
>honk
>go

>>37725858
if they wave back you just shrug and go. if they honk you go and flip them off for being autistic assholes. you shouldn't actually do that but you know what i mean.

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>>37720915
I do the exact same thing but with bikes.

>tfw someone on the street sees me making a quickshifter pop
>awkward eye contact

>>37721280
>I read books so I can have imaginary conversations with fictional characters. That way I feel like I have friends.
What was the latest character?

>>37721144
im sorry
originoli

>>37723439
What do you fap to? Pls tell me it's original

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>be me
>browse 4chan
>LOL look at all the funny meme frogs XD
>doesn't read threads
>posts memes out of context
>all while giggling to myself
>sober up (not literally; no booze was consumed)
>reflect on last few hours
>realize that I'm acting like a total sperg
>think about all those anons trying to have serious discussions while I am spamming their threads with bullshit.
>feel bad

why can't I just shitpost like adult?

>>37721148
yes you are me I'm certain uhuh

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>>37727301
It's okay fren, there are other autists that appreciate your spergy memeposts. we can all be frens

>>37719511
>want to go out to eat
>no one to go with
>get seated
>pretend to talk on phone audibly with "friend" telling them it's ok they "couldn't make it" and that I might as well grab a quick bite and meet them later
I'm pathetic desu

>flush the toilet late at night when other people in the house are sleeping
>cover ears despite knowing it won't reduce the noise

>>37719511
>walking home
>coming up to crosswalk
>see a line of 3 cars waiting for me to cross the street
>get scared and feel bad for making cars wait
>turn around and start walking the opposite direction
>don't stop for a while
>get fucking lost

>>37722943
>>37723036
>>37723056
>>37723182
I hate this.
Excuse me for giving the preference of way to the 5 ton hyper speed machine that can kill me.

>in a boring situation
>completely 100% zone out for minutes while staring at walls or something
>to me it feels like im having a vietnam flashback but on the outside it probably looks like im a tard staring at a wall
I try to do it while staring at a book or something these days

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>>37725380
>tfw always make eye contact with someone passing by
>tfw my neutral face is sort of a glare
Never gets old.

>>37728244
I'm the same way. I wish cars had no people in them and drove by themselves terrorizing our walkways ignoring us or whatever purpose jews invented them for. We were just fine with horses and trains

I don't know how to walk
what am i supposed to do with the hands??

>>37723335
>>37725364
This make me angry.
I wish I was the only one who did this shit, and that nobody else has to suffer like I do when the crushing realization that I'm retarded hits after doing any of these.

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>>37728351
I recall reading about how your hands move is a sign of how you feel. A more happy person will generally swing his arms more confidently. While someone who feels more uncomfortable will generally try to keep them in 1 place (like in their pockets, for e.g.
I once did an "unconscious test". After hearing my exam results I decided to go take a stroll, and I was basically swinging my arms without me noticing it because of how good I felt about the results.

>>37728311
I do the same thing, sometimes i forget to even blink

>>37719633
kek i did this yesterday

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>>37728351
This is how a Chad does it

>>37728388
I cant even put my hands in my pockets or swing them because i feel like I'm drawing attention to myself

>>37722264
>>37723598
Ibe me in sixth form tutorial last year
>(tutor)"so, did anyone hear about the squirrel?"
>what squirrel?
>"there's been a squirrel found dead and we know whose killed it"
>some other people are shocked
>i think about how weird it would be if i started laughing
>oh shit, i actually laughed
>quick say something normal
>(asks tutor) "its good it wasn't a red squirrel"
>...yup?
>"well it's a red squirrel now
nobody laughed

>Start imaging myself in a movie Talk out loud while in character

I do this all the fucking time when I'm home

>be fucking hungry but the way home is more than an hour
>decide to stop at mall to get something to eat
>realize I have to talk to get food
>abort mission, go home without eating anything

>>37728351
>>37728388

http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html

>be yesterday
>be me
>created my own complicated alphabet that is unencryptable so I can write my thoughts and ideas in complete secret

>>37729510
*undecryptable I mean

>>37719766
Which game is this?

I intentionally make retarded sounds all the time. Like if I'm shopping I'll pick something up and yell "hohoho WOWZA YOWZA" or something.

>>37725237
>if the line is longer than 4 people, leave the shop
anon, please continue this with grocery stores. Managers only hire like; 3 people to work the registers causing huge fucking lines, so when you leave over it the CCTVs see it, tempting the manager to hire more people.

>>37723150
I like it when my gf walks in on me fapping. She usually helps out or atleast flashes her titties at me.

>>37728167
if you're going to an event that you're expected to with another person this is a good move, but in public restaurants this is a weird thing to do.

Sometimes will squeeze my face between my arms when i get excited. Did it since i was a kid, dont know why. Im able to hide it in public, only do it while alone.

>>37730572
>I like it when my gf walks in on me fapping. She usually helps out or atleast flashes her titties at me.
Disgusting.

>>37719511

>say WEE WEE WEE really loud when I'm in the Ice cream section at walmart.

I can't help it. It's like there's a little person inside of me who controls me and makes me do weird shit.

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>Trying to learn how to cook
>but constantly make the same dish over and over again

>>37729510
you should congratulate yourself for this.

>>37730630
sounds like something you've picked up from your childhood. Just continue not to do it in public cause it does appear feminine. Well, unless you're a trap, then I guess it's ok

>>37730787
>Well, unless you're a trap

we're just assuming people might be traps now? what is this world coming to.

>>37730847
literally did the exact opposite.

Act like im on talk shows and feel good when i say something interesting

Fucking end me god

>>37720915
I do this but make the noises out loud and if I'm sitting down I'll push in the clutch and shift

>>37719511
>read things i type before i enter them/write them

>>37731106
OP said autistic things

>>37719511
>be me in UK as an immigrant
>try to hookup a conversation with a brit
>he doesnt't understand me because of my accent, asks me to repeat
>I say something completely different
>if he doesn't understand again, do the same till he undderstands me
>most of the time they pretend they understand me and answer with nonsense

I do this too oftenly. I also don't understand what they are trying to tell me sometimes so I just say "yes" with a laugh.

>>37731597
>tfw doing the "haha yeah m8" nod and laugh because you don't understand
>tfw their expression immediately changes and you can tell that wasn't the right reaction

>>37731631
exact thing happened 3 times this week
feels bad cause the fat guy seemed friendy

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>>37728167
>Go out to eat alone
>Pretend to talk on phone with friend
>Get annoyed that they aren't coming any more
>Some girl asks if I'm okay
>Crack wise about how it looks like I'm eating alone
>End up having sex that night

>>37719511
Autistically smell my hands in public

>>37723335
holy shit this ones me.

>>37725858
if they wave back, then go you autist. someone waves and either you go or you wave back then they go. if it keeps going on past this, it's wasting time.

>>37719511
>stalk a qt in the bus
>sit two seats behind her
>just watch that qt hair
>she gets off bus
>got to see nice ass
>she doesnt even know im stalking

>>37731597
Go back to your shithole dirty immigrant scum.

>>37721249
>contantly having conversations with someone in my head
fine if its your own voice, not if you actually see it as a "different person"
>a) planning ahead for a conversation I know will happen (e.g. at work) so I know what I will say
very normal. i do this a lot except for what i say. instead, i get myself prepared for multiple things others could say to me.
>b) replaying one where I sperged out, saying it how I wish I had said it
im pretty sure most people do this. just a simple "i wish i said x" or "i could have said y instead"
>c) imagining having an actual friend who was actually interested in me and telling a story of something that happened to me that they actually care about hearing
now that is just plain autistic. can't help ya there

>>37729510
You would make a nice job as a codebreaker

>>37728311
I did that and it turned out to be absence seizures

>>37723150
Fuck off i hope your girlfriend leaves you i hope you die alone in a gutter crying

>>37721168
95% of the people here aren't even really autistic

When I'm alone, I make gestures imagining myself having conversations with girls I like where I look cool and say cool things, sometimes imagining myself recreating romantic situations from TV shows. Recently I imagined myself recreating the rain scene from Itazura na Kiss: Love in Tokyo with a girl I went to school with.

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>>37723335
>>Every time I'm about to post on a thread I check it like 10 times before posting, constantly re-editing it (like this one)
>still managed to misspell above

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>go to the bus stop
>see someone I know
>walk in other direction to avoid conversation
>after 5 minutes return
>he/she is still there

>>37732135
how about you go back to /pol/ instead?

>>37731959
>be me
>literal autist
>post autist thing in autist thread
>get called autist
well yeah. if i could function like that in the moment rather than hindsight, i wouldn't be posting would i

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>>37719511
Heh, that's nothing kid. Watch this

>have eaten the exact same lunch every day for the past 2 years
>talk about 4chan to my therapist
>ask girls who were in my school whether they thought I was autistic
>sit on the learning difficulty table at lunch because they're the only one's who don't intimidate me
>unironically wear a naruto headband to school on non-uniform day (pic related)
>cry and throw a full autismo flop-around in-the-mud fit when I got tackled in rugby on a very rainy muddy day and got my pristine P.E. kit dirty

>>37729510
>he thinks his code alphabet he made in a day is undecryptable
that's cute

>>37724802
Like within handshaking distance I wave. I don't know why I do it and I even try to actively avoid doing it. But every time my brain just shuts down and I wave.

>>37719511

When I drive by a restaurant I'm going to eat at soon I "practice" ordering, out loud alone

>random Tourette-type mutterings
>improvised songs with autistic lol random lyrics while in shower
>still imagine the same fantasy world from when I was 7 despite being nearly 23
>have sudden memories of cringeworthy things I said or did and start muttering under my breath and twitching
>get severely angry when I lose at CS GO or even die at all

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>put peanut butter, butter, and ice cream on eggos

>>37732769
is it delicious at least

how tf do u mix those with eggs

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>>37732765
>still imagine the same fantasy world from when I was 7 despite being nearly 23
>tfw still improving and building my made up country I thought up of since I was in middle school
>Population, army, famous writers, scientists, political situation, various rulers, almost everything
>made up a backstory from what country it originated from (Roman Empire style)
>Gave it unique ethnicities
>Tried to make a language for said country, too
Fuck my autism

sometimes I flick my lights on and off rapidly and start jumping like if I'm in a rave party

>>37732818
Thats pretty cool, though. Perhaps you could run it in a tabletop rpg for other autists to enjoy.

>>37732857
Perhaps, the country's had a pretty eventful history. I could probably add it into a Paradox Game for shits and giggles, but that'd take a lot of effort.

>>37728244
i make a serious effort to avoid pedestrian crossings because of that, sometimes i take a route 4 blocks longer to avoid a crossing

>In public.
>Have instrusive thoughts that cause me to remember past abuse or humiliating situations.
>Have to shake head violently to try and dislodge them.
It's starting to get even worse. It used to be just screwing up my face and cringing but now it's developed into a full head shake while scrunching up my face.

I also have a lot of trouble recognising faces so I have to rely on hairstyle or where I am (e.g. "I'm at work and this tall blondey so it's clearly Amanda.") to know who they are. If someone gets a really different hairstyle or I see them outside of the normal context I have trouble working out who they are.
Is that autistic?

>have the most autistic fantasy world possible
>live in it simultaneously with real life
I'm just hoping I snap one day and become convinced that my dreams are reality

>>37733294
Take the red pill, realise that not even reality is real

>>37733312
Then why do I have to be experiencing the most consistently shitty perception?

>>37733057
>>It's starting to get even worse. It used to be just screwing up my face and cringing but now it's developed into a full head shake while scrunching up my face.
maybe you want to visit a proffessional who is experienced with this stuff and see if there is a program that can help you deal with this more easily?

>Is that autistic?
i'm not an expert, far from that desu but you may want to talk to a neurologist about that, it sounds like something different than autism. maybe a psychiatrist should know something about it too. it's definitely worth checking out.

>>37719511
I actually god down like 15 stops before mine once in order to avoid conversation

Thankfully the next bus was there in minutes.

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>>37719511

>be me, returning home
>board off the train
>always exit the station from the rightmost passage

doing this since 2003

>>37733336
Maybe you selected the hard mode option before you plugged yourself in to the VR device

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>>37719511

watch again and again every anime scene with Italian cars

>note the imported Alfa Romeo Mito Quadrifoglio Verde (FWD 1.4-litre 168 hp six-speed manual gearbox, 39 mpg).

also, 100% total waifu.

>inb4 how does she snowdrift with a FE/FWD

>>37719511

>hit on girls gaming online
>get triggered when it's a dude posing as a girl

>>37725364
>tfw someone posted every autistic thing i do

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>>37719633
Fuck that shit, I always cross right in front of cars and take my sweet time doing it. If they honk at me or get angry in any way at all I take even more time, usually I'll just stop right in front of them and do my shoelaces up, maybe a pull a couple stretches too for good measure. Fuck cars. I hope someone runs me over one day.

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>>37719511
>won't go to the same convenience store more than once or twice in a row, depending how "busy" it is
>i never pour milk into my cereal, I consume both separately because I hate soggy cereal and crumby milk
>talk loudly to myself in the car
>tie my hair into actual knots out of boredom
>make alternative history maps on MS Paint
>get up from the computer occasionally to look in the fridge and pantry even though I'm well aware there's nothing good in there
>type out long reply or new thread, do something else for a while, and then come back to better determine if it's worth posting
>every time I walk out of a dark area, I raised my hand over my shoulder and flip off the space behind me. This is what my childhood fear of the dark evolved into

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>I always fantasize being a Soviet submarine commander
>Political Committee always happy with me
>in ten years or so, sunk basically every floating US vessel

and no, I'm not Russkii

>be me, 2017
>used to play Gran Turismo in 1998 on a PS1
>in 2017 hacked in-game memory to have millions of dollars to buy every fucking car and mod available in-game
>dream fulfilled

>>37731597
Where are you from ?


Xirndiekskrbdks

>>37723403
it's not the (You), it's the feeling of walking into a social environment, and everyone quiets down or leaves

>>37734674
Polan

>>37731158
read out loud i mean

>>37719511
>Highlight posts as I read them
Am I the only one who does this ?

>>37735559
I'm already falling for you <3

>>37723338
I do this

I also like to take steps two at a time going down.

>>37735717
Don't I'm unattractive

>act like a racist white person from the south, say FUCKING DIRTY NIGGER and shit, all ironically
>think of myself doing something but imagine it's someone else
>play with imaginary cats
>if see a picture of a cat move the cursor over it pretending I'm stroking it
>pretend I'm a speed runner, say I'm getting really bad RNG here folks etc. when fucking up
>re-read posts I made and pretend I'm someone else reading them
>when waiting for a web page to load, blink eyes slowly until it's loaded
>when watching a western cartoon or movie imagine what the japanese dub would sound like
>watch video of people arguing and start getting worked up
>prefer to eat standing up
>panic when phone isn't in pocket, even if I'm just using it

>>37736087
Unattractive? wow, this is my fetish!!

>>37736587
stop anon-kun :3

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>>37736126
>>if see a picture of a cat move the cursor over it pretending I'm stroking it

I was willing to reply "stroke my pussy" but I guess your mind would imagine some dirty porn image instead of clicking on pic related

>>37736712
that's a weird looking cow

>have conversations with myself while imagining talking to my friends after we stop hanging out

>>37736629
augggh, at most I can stroke with my mouse pointer your "Female poster" name above your post <3

>>37736126
do you keep these in a txt file?

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>>37736712

>shout "MODS!!" in my mind when kids and toddlers block my path

>>37736763
yeah, another autistic thing I do

>>37732553
>>unironically wear a naruto headband to school on non-uniform day
why? that's fucking retarded

>>37736783
You may be autistic to do it but I recognized it, so

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>>37732818
I'm literally doing a arts masters degree at the top post graduate institution in the world where my main body of work is based on a similar fantasy world I've also had since I was 7.
>tfw my autism brought me success...

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>>37723676
This tbqh fambalino.
This comment has been muted for 4 seconds because autism.

>>37723361
Anon i do the same thing kek.

>>37719511
>wear clean clothes
>atleast average looks, not ugly
>bathe regularly
>work out
>good posture
>walk around confidently
>it's all a facade
>no idea how to interact with people
>get nothing from conversation
>nothing compels me to talk with other people
>at least I can pretend

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I always respond to questions with a "hmm?" or "pardon?" even if I understood what was said perfectly, just so I can be sure I heard them correctly and give myself time to think of a response.

A month ago I just went I into KFC and asked an Asian girl that worked there If she wanted a coffee and that she is really cute and I like her smile.

She was polite and said she was in school and wasn't looking for a relationship. I know I wasn't her type.

Had a euphoria whole drive home, first time I asked a complete stranger out.

Trying to get /fit/ now so next time I try this the girl will actually consider.

How autistic am I robots?

>>37739111
>How autistic am I robots?
Not as autistic as the majority of people here. At least you are trying to improve

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>buying jeans at mall
>see group of roasties/normies walking toward me
>pull out my phone and avoid looking at them

>>37732828
jesus christ anon, get some help!

oregano

>>37723495
damn that's real fucking asf anon

>>37719766
I bet you sit behind squad tunnels and tk too faggot

I do really weird shit when I'm alone and I can't help it
>seize and contort like a have down syndrome or some other type of mental retardation, only way to sort of stop is is rolling my shoulders back which makes me shiver
>talk to myself in a really degrading way, "God I fucking hate my life" "Somebody kill me" and that type of shit
>start monologuing and lose all control of inflection in voice
>always fidgeting around somehow, can't ever be still
I mean thank god it doesn't happen in public but that has its own slew of problems

>>37723216
i did this but mimic'd the samuai units in shogun 2

Stare at girl's for an extended period as a desperate scream for affection and attention, they always seem uninterested or disgusted, tfw when im actually pretty cute looking and I dress pretty nice, nothing crazy, just basic office casual shit. I also have this really shitty tendency to ignore girl's that are proactively hitting on me and or touching me, my red cheek boyish face and my decent build get's me some attention but desperation and loneliness drives them away real quick.