Republic of Joeland

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So I have this friend joe. He had a falling out with his parents. He wants to move out and is asking me for advice. So I told him this.

>You should move out.
>Join a gang.
>Rob a bank.
>Take all his bank robbery earnings to a shady casino.
>Bet more than you have.
>Lose it all.

>Take your gang and attack the shady casino
>When your captured ask them to sell you into slavery in Africa
>Then organize a slave rebellion against your new master Mr Warlord.
>With your new Somali slave republic try to declare independence at the united nations.
>To do this you need to go to New York.
>While you're their get don't get caught by the FBI for robbing the bank.
>If you do make sure to get sent to a prison with a guy named Red who knows how to get stuff.
>Befriend Red then pretend to be a banker.
>Eventually you will convince the guards to let you do their taxes
>From their you will be allowed to help the prison run an illegal prison labor camps.
>Then set up a account to a person that doesn't exist.
>Then use a rock pick to escape threw the walls and sewers.
>While there repair a boat and have Red help you with it when he gets back.
>Use your handy dandy rock pick to chisel a hole in the wall declaring it an act of defiance
>Use your handy dandy rock pick to chisel a hole in the american-mexican wall
>declare it an act of defiance against the United States for interfering on Joeland politics.
>Then take your boat back to Joeland, Somali.
>You will find in your absence a new warlord has taken over.
>Challenge him to hand to hand combat, using your prison skills you quickly best him.
>Mad that another warlord tried to take over amass a army.
>Take over most of Somalia.
>Start purchasing watercraft and converting it into war vessels
>Go show off your new navy by riding personally in it greeting all freighters passing by the gulf of Aden
>Get bombed by the USA mistaking you for pirates.
>Damn USA involving itself in Joeland Politics again.