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Anonymous
A Man Without A Country 2017-06-14 05:51:26 Post No. 37698999
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A Man Without A Country 2017-06-14 05:51:26 Post No. 37698999
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I'm 28 years old. This puts me on the verge of "old man territory", especially since modern youth culture seems deliberately hostile to anyone who's white, male, and straight. In all my life I never felt like I belonged anywhere, especially in my own home. Moving to a big city didn't change that since I just run into newer types of people that I can't understand. I think back to my heroes, like R. Crumb and Frank Zappa, and I consider how they were able to take their hatred for their environment and turn it into something constructive. I'm an artist but I only want to draw fetish porn. I'm currently unemployed and I think my roommates resent me for that. I have money saved up to help pay rent and bills but I just draw in my room all day. Self hatred has been a constant throughout my life and when I try to express this my roommates make fun of me for it. They ask me why I'm so dumpy and negative and I tell them why and then they tell me to be more positive. This makes me feel alienated from them.
I don't want to work a shitty day job anymore. That's what I was doing. But I only have experience driving a forklift. I can't pass drug tests because weed so I'm fucked for most jobs now. I don't care to see the future and I contemplate suicide every day. Killing myself would fuck over my roommates because they do like me, for whatever reason, but at the same time I'm totally ready to give up. I've done nothing important with my life at all. I'm no virgin but I've never been in love. I'm not sure if I believe love is real. My parents have no idea what I'm going through. Dad was a jock and mom was a cheerleader. They were married at 21 and immediately started having kids. Dad has worked the same job his whole damn life and I was working for him at the family business before I decided to leave. I couldn't be a part of that cycle. Now I'm still miserable just in a new location. I want to die but somehow shame keeps me from pulling the trigger. But I'm so tired...
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u fucking americans with all your wants and needs fuckity fuck you ever just relax and spit at the ceiling?
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>>37699041
We're conditioned to find purpose and fulfillment in our lives, yet our environment is designed to suppress all creativity and individuality. Why wouldn't anxiety be the default state for any self-aware person in such circumstances?
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>>37698999
filthy fucking americans stealing all the trips but cant even post a readable image,
fuck off.
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>>37698999
>drug testing prevents me from getting a job
nobody does drug testing you pussy. shit dude, half the time drugs help (not with your health or sanity).
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>>37699236
Any job that requires operating heavy machinery does. The only marketable skill I have is forklift operation.
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>>37699236
>nobody does drug testing you pussy
You are wrong.
>>37699236
>half the time drugs help
You are actually a fucking retard.
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>>37699338
yeah i'm a fucking retard, that's why i work in manual labor.
but still, smoking a joint so you're content with spending 3 hours making dinner for yourself after a workout is highly superior to feeling sorry for yourself and staying inside the entire day. even if it might make you a little retarded, that just lowers your ceiling, giving you even more incentive to deliver excellent work.
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>>37699462
>smoking a joint so you're content with spending 3 hours making dinner for yourself after a workout
What the fuck does this have to do with him getting a job
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>>37698999
>drug testing
Apply to small labor/construction companies, they target your skillset and often don't give a flying fuck. I don't smoke but my boss/company owner lights up all the time in company hotel rooms.
>hate modern world
Consider moving to a more remote area (read: isolated town, not extended suburb that remembers 100 years ago when it was isolated and somehow still thinks it is.) Perhaps consider moving to a less-developed country, I'm one of the Finland(rural) fetishizers myself, although if financial success is a big goal of yours this probably won't appeal to you.
Remember, if you just bee yourself, you'll succeed no matter what!
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>>37699562
because if you don't take care of your body it will start falling apart beneath you?
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>>37699336
>quit long enough to pass test
>continue smoking after you are hired
>don't fuck anything up
Easy peasy my man.
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>>37699462
I was doing that. I worked my ass off all day and got high every night. I was still fucking miserable and often thought about suicide while at work.
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>>37699571
Be myself? I'm a neurotic wreck when sober and a depressed slob when stoned. Most of the time I only want to lay down and do nothing. Myself sucks.
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>>37699598
I did that before and it was fucking awful. I can't stand living without weed. My anxiety goes through the roof and the despair really starts to set in after the first few days.
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>>37698999
It's time to kill yourself mein untermensch
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>>37698999
Not going to read your post lol
Just going to say i'm Mexican and stay mad white boi
:^)
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>>37698999
honestly you sound like a shitty human being. stop smoking weed and get a job or get a job that doesnt care what you do. work on self-improvement instead of blaming "youth culture" and roommates
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