DEPRESSION GENERAL

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>>37683933
Still unemployed. Applied to 4 or 5 jobs yesterday. Managed to get a deferment on my loans. Strong urge to murder a rich person.

>>37683933
Mom just walked into my room. "Hey, I'm doing laundry. Is your phone charged? ... No? I'm taking it. I don't believe in you any more. For shits and giggles I'll remind you that you might as well have spent the last two years in a coma, because you're not really living."

Paraphrasing of course, but thanks Mom.

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>>37684013
Oh, and of course there was the ever popular "I just don't know what to do about you anymore."

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I feel like Im stuck in limbo. Theres no salvation theres only pain from here on out.

Struggling to find a job for after graduation due to grades early in my degree destroying my gpa. Not having a girlfriend for so long, had chances but I don't want to get in a relationship with a girl who could love someone as broken as I am. I have no money, I spend all day playing video games, watching YouTube as I am constantly tired all the time.

I tell my parents everything is going fine and smile for them because I don't want them to know how much of a fuck up I am

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>>37683933
Nothing stimulates me nowadays. I've been extremely pessimistic for about a year and it only gets worse everyday. I still play vidya but I'm not happy doing so. It's just the only way I've found to escape reality. I hate everything that surrounds me, except for my parents. They let me live as a NEET but I often get comments like "Cmon anon, you could at least get a job or make some friends" and it hurts. I've come to realise how useless everything is, and how pathetic our attempt at creating a functioning society is.
Fucking normies, man
>tfw too smart to be happy

>have cute gf
>have a few friends
>have a job
>okay at video games
>enjoy to draw
But
>nothing feels like it's going my way
>there's no point to my existence
>my parents constant clashing makes me feel like a mistake
>barely doing anything in community college
>1k in debt
I don't wanna die but I feel like I should kill myself.

I want to tell that person how i feel, but if our feelings dont match, we will never see each other and i dont want that. What do? Im losing time. If this person starts dating someone i will lose my mind.

>have alcohol problems
>sent home from work early today for vomiting
>they think I was "sick" since that's never happened to me before
>brother is disappointed in me for leaving work early and it being my fault
>feel like the most useless and horrible person in the world
>deserve no sympathy but like it when people feel sorry for me
I'm kind of calling the rest of today a mental health day so I can lie in bed and either cry or watch anime. I'm always doing school or work these days.