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I had another dream where I was happy with her. 17 years now

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I had another dream where I was happy with her.

17 years now since highschool and these dreams still plague me like a disease.

She says she loves me I feel like mush when I'm around her. I'm happy, I can see her face like it was just yesterday. We hold hands and walk through a field and hug. Then we are getting married, I wait at the alter, church is filled with family and friends. I'm stuck there waiting. Then everyone vanishes and I'm left there waiting.

I can't take this anymore, I'd tell her how I felt, but it's impossible. Why does my mind play tricks, cruel tricks on me? My day is completely ruined, possibly even my week. It hurts.
>>
Well at least you can dream. I can't even imagine what dreaming must be like
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