Tinder thread, ask for help share stories etc.

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What do to fix this?

>>37676198
Keep it to 1 sentence, don't write a whole paragraph, also lie and say you are a marine instead of national guard

>>37676219

>don't write a whole paragraph
>two, separated sentences

This isn't /soc/ you shithead

met a fuck buddy off here. she's a good friend but also horny all the time so I'm living the life

my advice to you all is to go on even if you are never going to meet up. just boost your ego and practice flirting

>>37676569
> just be yourself bro, just get that ego boost brah
> what do you mean, out of thousands of swipes you got less than a dozen matches and not a single one says a word back?
> just be yourself bro

>>37676219
>asking to be sperm jacked

bitches are going to trap him for his military benefits.

>>37676399
"I'm a United States Marine" that's it

>>37676674
That's what pump and dump is for anon, when she finds out you're not a marine she's gonna cut him off and he can get a new qt to impregnate
When you don't want to deal with her anymore or if you got her pregnant, just telling you are going on tour and you don't know when you'll be back

>>37676219

this advice literally only works if you have chad aesthetics. someone like the guy you're replying to HAS to say more, because his aesthetics alone aren't appealing enough to draw in inquiries about the rest of his life


plus it's shit advice even for chads. chads can (and do) specialize their profiles in order to attract specific types of girls.

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What should my first attack be?

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>>37676762
Heres a full pic

Asking r9k for tinder advice, it's literally the same thing if you were going up to a homeless person and asking him for financial advice

>have pic with you smiling
>have at least one photo in a social setting (to show you're tolerable)
>make sure you're main photo is taken by someone else

>>37676776
I could use your eyeliner to write my suicide note

>>37676721
>when she finds out you're not a marine she's gonna cut him off

enjoy your rape charges. you need to wake up because women are trying to pass laws to make almost anything rape and they want to stop men from protecting themselves from false rape accusations so they can have power over men.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/38430181/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/could-pick-up-artist-be-charged-rape-deception/

>>37676846
Just get a vasectomy. It'll prevent pregnancy, and when she says she's pregnant you can shit all over her for being a cheating slut

>>37676816
Are you kidding or should I actually say that?

>>37676866
And not have children? R u dumb?

>>37676869
The first rule of Tinder is to not care whatsoever about how the other person feels. You've never met one another, and any show of empathy might be considered weak. That, and you'll be alpha for making it into a joke

>>37676895
You can always get it reversed anon. It's fairly common to get it reversed, and even if it fails you usually give a sperm sample beforehand just incase it goes awry

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>>37676696
While I would like to fuck the kind of vapid skank that would swipe right for that, I'm not going on tinder to lie. I'm an aspie so I want my profile to show at least a hint of being not-quite neurotypical

also, I'm pretty sure I'm playing with chad looks

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Yikes... Wish me luck

>>37676866

that will protect you from baby jail because you failed to pay child support but it will not protect you from false rape accusations. good luck trying to prove your innocence against a feminist judge that was elected by a feminist politician that women vote for. feminist judges hate men and that is like a black guy being sentence by a nazi judge.

>>37677021
Easy, just record the sex without her permission. If she tries to say "it was rape" and then you show them the tape, she's fucked. I agree, the courts are HEAVILY skewed in the womans favor, and it won't get any better anytime soon, but you still gotta stick you dick in eventually.

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Helpppppppsspf

>>37677099
tell her "the industrial revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race tbqh senpai"

>>37677145
Will that get me laid?

>>37677099
niceeeeeee, you're almost there anon!

>>37677009
Good work anon!!!! I told you it would work!!!

Keep it going! Say something like "Not even kidding, I say that because I could really use some good ink"

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>girls who never replies
>girls who once you ask to go out stop replying
>girl making you waste your time
>girl who currently already have bf
>girls who find out you're 5'7 then ignore you completely

That's the story
idk anymore senpai fuck my life and my ego

>>37677171
idk lmao
Just remember that the female race is a meme.

>>37677007
a lot of dog pics....just comes off as odd to me on a tinder profile.

>>37677099
"Ink me baby"

>>37677099
Ask her if her womb is ready to birth your champions.

Can you get laid on tinder if you look 15?

>>37677145
>>37677171
NO

originalfuckingcommentstupidmotherfucker

As a fellow aspie, I can tell you the most difficult part about talking to women is to stop thinking. Women aren't thinking creatures, they merely feel and respond to their feelings. therefore, it's imperative that your content does something to arouse her emotionally by evoking multiple emotions at the same time

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I got banned from tinder for no real reason, and support refuses to tell me why. I wasn't breaking any rules

could my profile have been highjacked by someone? that's the only thing I can think of

>>37677092
>Easy, just record the sex without her permission.


you can't do that in court because she needs to be told that she is being recorded first. also I would not be surprise if feminist find a way around this and try to change it so women still have the power to charge you with rape. this is not about protecting innocent men from false rape accusations this a war on men and a way for women to have the power to ruin you life. I already tapped out of the game and I am sticking to vr porn because people are too stupid to take feminist seriously. feminist are doing a great job at lowering the fertility rate and destroying western civilization.

>>37677239
No because tinder is college firl heavy and all the grown chads will put you to shame even if ypu are a HS chad. Also I repoted you for being underage, go to reddit its healthier for you

>>37677216
I-I like dogs, anon

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What should I say to this 1?

>>37677275
>A woman can do literally anything that she wants , no matter how immoral or unjust, and get away with it

This is how it's always been anon. The only way you'll ever get anywhere in life is to take risks. Women are one of the largest risks you can take, but if you really wanna feel what a vagina feels like you're gonna have to gamble and see what happens. It's a tough reality for any man but Chad, but you've gotta make due with what you got

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>>37677278
I'm 21. Fuck you and fuck reddit. But yeah that's pretty much what I thought

>>37677321
"I came here to pick up girls and kill myself and youre my last match"

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>>37677367
>>37677321

Say it FaGGot!
Just fckin do it

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what are you even supposed to talk to tinder roasties about

I get a ton of matches (even for my podunk down) but I have nothing in common with any of these chicks. or most humans in general

I'm going to Mexico City in two weeks.

Getting lots of quality matches but my Spanish is awful. Somehow saying, "Hola, que tal! Entiendes ingles porque mi espanol es pretty shity" is working wonders, though.

>>37677342
let make a benefit analysis and tell me if sex is worth it

pros

>you get your dick wet

cons

>criminal record
>full name on google search for a crime you didn't commit
>fire from the job
>prison time
>unpleasant visit from cops pointing guns at you for a crime you didn't commit
>ruined reputation
>no girl will ever date you because of rumors
>white knights are going to try to kill you or actually kill you because they believe the her words without any evidence.

I'm liking this thread so far lol

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>>37675545
Dumb roasties!!!48,;&:

>>37678678

What's the point of tinder while being on a relationship

>>37678799
yes, I want to know this too. write her and call her out for being a hypocritical whore.

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I feel like my profile gets worse and worse each time I post it.

I've recently taken up boxing, so I'm at least making an attempt to better myself. None of these pics reflect that though.

>>37677321
Alright, let's get down to business: When and where do you want to fuck?

>>37679038
Take new pictures, these are all shit. A selfie in your car screams "I'm a huge loser with no friends who never goes out"

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Anyone know if facebook activity affects your profile any? I used to get a couple matches a week before deleting my fb then made a new one with no activity and haven't gotten a match in over 3 weeks

>pic unrelated

>>37675545
Helpful tip: don't swipe like crazy. That shit gets you registered by the system as a low quality (desperate) user or a bot. This gets you shunted to the bottom of the pile.
5-10 is a safe number a day.

>>37675545
Helpful tip2: make sure they know what this is about within the first 3 messages. Otherwise they'll just treat you as someone to chat with then ghost. If you don't have that shit on lock down within the day move on its a lost cause.

>>37679129

Yeah I also heard that it has sort of like an "elo"

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Question to you guys
Who do you swipe left?

To me usually niggers or girls with no bio

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Sup guise, scope my tindr.

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>>37679104
This is true. I never end up having good pictures because no one ever takes pictures of me.

I found this one though, probably the douchiest selfie I could find. I wonder if it'll affect my chances at all.

>>37677007
Tinder is a HOOKUP site, it's girls looking for a friends with benefits relationship i.e (fuck me, feed me, I don't want a serious relationship (yet))

The only thing tinder girls expect you to do is fuck them and spend money on them, if you are gonna try to go fishing with cheap shitty bait then you're onlly gonna end up with shitty catches, if you invest in yourself (i.e work on your autism so at least you're not in constant spaghetti zone, dress NICE (clothes that fit, and not some vaporwave anime t shirt fuckboi shit) and not make it obvious you are a NEET or you have a deadend job)

>>37678678
Just swipe left

>>37679200
Is that the only picture you put on there? If so, put more on.

>>37679176
Some days there's rhyme and reason (no one who looks like too much of a hoe, no ghettoblacks, no landwhales, etc.) but most of the time I'm just wildly swiping.

>>37679038
Get a selfie stick, it's all about the angle

If you are a boxer try and get a full body of you in the gym

Bonus points if you get one of those WWE belts and pose with a dog or something

>>37679200
What is your game like brah? If you're not slaying thots then you are a certified aspie

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>>37679217
I have these, and don't do bad on Tindr, how would you rate it? I did however fuck myself by liking every hoe on Tindr

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>>37679203
>because no one ever takes pictures of me.
I know this feel. Even during the time I spent at a folk high school, none of the photos taken during social events were of me
Is there any reason behind this?

>>37679176
>swiping everyone but a few exceptions right
Your Elo score is trash, delete your account, create a new one, and read up on how Tinder scores work.

>>37679203
You look sad on this picture. You also look twelve. It's no good either.

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Works all the time guys.

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I wish I knew about the elo rankings.

>>37679329
She can't even spell 'au revoir' which, ironically, also translates to "see you later"

>>37679277
You have to ask to assort your dominance. You also have to be outgoing .

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Now it's a lot harder to make throwaway jewbook accounts.

>>37679397
>assert dominance by asking someone to take a picture of you
Something doesn't seem to add up but I might very well just be fucking retard

>>37679242
Funny, I've been meaning to get one solely for the adapter that I can use on my tripod.

>>37679269
I actually assumed you were the big guy (for you) on the right, which is why I asked.

>>37679277
Usually I know the reason why: I'm there as an observer. Like, human version of Gondola, I just sorta flow from conversation to conversation, listening in on others. Most of the time they invite me in and I can hold my own, but I'm not actually...there, socially.

>>37679328
The ones of me smiling I look even more like I'm 12 (well, that and they accentuate how much of a fat fuck I am).

>>37679038
>Get a haircut. A taper fade leave the top 1 on the sides.
>Buy normie core like Vans shorts, crew socks ex.Nike or Vans.
>Get new shoes that don't like bombs on your feet, I recommend vans, Adidas, or Nikes.
>Get a nice tshirt, get a t shirt of your favorite local restaurant. It'll make great convo when people ask.

Once your transformation is complete prepare to get some form of flirting.

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>tfw don't even have a phone
>my tinder is just floating out there right now with problem like 15 matches
>tfw can't even message any of them
>and even if i did they'd probably just ghost me
why even live lads

How does tinder elo work and how often should I be swiping right

>>37679521

Get an emulator like blue stacks

>>37679543
Google Tinder Elo score, there's lots of articles discussing it.

50% swipe right is already too much. Also never get anywhere close to the hundred right swipes you're allowed per day. Message all your matches.

>>37679595
Can you fix your score?

>>37679611
By deleting your account and making a new one.

>>37679595
I noticed that if you spam right. You get less matched

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r8 or h8 or gr8?

Do you guys make a tinder with your main account or throwaway.

Cause making a fake fb is hard now.

get the fuck off this app boys and go to the bar or fetish websites

>>37679641
Shorten your bio and look at the camera.

>>37679641
Nice pictures except you don't look at the camera

>>37679641
>not smiling and looking at the camera
>mentioning your mother
Kek/10

>>37679697
The ironic mother mention can be pulled off. I'm not sure he does pull it off, but it can be pulled off.

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>>37679767
>>37679697
>>37679678
>>37679665
thanks for the suggestions boys. I have a few other pics where I look directly at the camera and aren't just selfies but I don't like them because I am kind of a total uggo.
>pic related is the other tinder pics

>>37679811
I'd say go for bottom left. Top left can't see you. Both pictures on the right are selfies, and selfies mean nobody takes pictures of you because you have no friends.

>>37675545
>tinder thread
>on /r9k/

genuinely shocked that this has a lot of replies

>>37679329
>i have a three inch cock

fucking lmao

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>>37679853
to be fair I know all the pics are pretty lame and say I have a bad fashion sense or a drinking problem but the other one I didn't include is another one of me dressed in a black suit and you can see my face more so 4/6 pics are not awkward selfies but I get your point
>last pic

>>37679922
It doesn't say drinking problem, it says dude who knows how to party.
And on that one it's not immediately obvious which one of the two dudes you are, so that's a no as well. Grills will swipe left if they have the slightest doubt over which one you are.
The red wine picture is your best option.

>>37679957
that's not a red wine though it's an open container growler that you shouldn't be drinking on the premises but my drunken buddy got me to crack it open before we even left. I was swiftly descended upon by the owner/mgmt who had me go back inside to seal it back up without refilling what I drank

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>>37675545
THAT'S FUCKING IT. I'm done. Fuck this board and fuck you normies for completely ruining it. I hope that Hiroshima deletes this board, for good this time.
FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

>>37679479
Aka
How to be a tool

>>37680056
Some of us were posting here ten years ago, some of us were khv and through the help of each other we made it out. We still come here because no other place on the internet compares.

We're all gonna make it anon.

>>37680056
you see the timestamp on the pic I posted? I was 18 more than 6 years ago nigga I am old. Are you even of age yet son?

>>37680169
Isn't the goal to have sex? What the guy described is right. You can't act how you want and expect to get laid. Why do you think so many guys have the same haircut and style? It's because it works.

>>37680056
>im mad about a tinder thread
these have been consistent here for at least 3 years. back to reddshit, you moron.

>>37680221

>through the help of each other we made it out

Then you were never robots. Having even the future possibility of making it means you're not a robot and never were.

>>37680367
>me special ;)
can't you do that whole retard thing somewhere else?

>>37680367
we're all normies pretending to be robots friendo how did you not realize this after two threads here

>>37676911
It's just like 4chan same rules apply

>>37680367
I didn't think I ever could make it, until I did. That's how it works.

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What do you guys think?

Where can I improve

>>37680502

Start lifting, I see huge Chad potential in you.

>>37680502
You look like you're squinting because the sun is in your eyes in half your pictures.

Also you look twelve

>>37680502
First picture is shit pick a better one, looks like someone gave a downs syndrome kid a beer

>>37680502
youre not bad looking. rubbish pics though. only good pic is with the girls

>>37680540
Thanks man you made my fucking day I have been working out hard and put on 30 pounds in the last 7 months

>>37680550
I actually am squinting and I'm 21 but I can't change the good genes I got that make me look forever young

>>37680574
I concur but it shows the ladies I'm ready to party

>>37680578
I'll try and get some cooler pics my dude

my best friend is a roastie, it's ridiculous what tinder is like for cute girls.

So, first thing she does is unlock her phone, 100+ notifications on every chat app and tinder. typical cute girl's phone, nothing special to see here.

but she got on tinder and what the fuck, there are so many guys who super liked her, she swipes off 95+% of guys and the guys she does swipe, she matches.

among her matches, she'll arbitrarily choose not to reply to some, even if she messaged first.
"eh, he was like a maybe... kind of match"
"who just says hi? that's so rude"
"nah I think he looks weird now"
"hmmmmm... nah (laughs)"
"maybe I should message this guy? I don't know (laughs)"

and then she'll go on dates with a few, make them fall in love with her on the date then cut them off if she doesn't like them.
I can't tell you guys how many conversations there are on her phone where the guy is still messaging her after a week or more.

"heh, this guy was so weird. why is he still messaging me?"
"was this that korean guy you were telling me about?"
"nah, that's this guy, look he's messaged me today, just gonna ignore him"
"you can just unmatch him, right?"
"huh, how do I do that? you know anon, you should totally make a tinder profile. I'll help you take nice pictures."
"yeah, okay."
"OH, THIS guy was so WEIRD! Did I tell you about him?"
"(yawn) how the fuck should I know, you go on dates with too many guys"
"well anyway the whole date he kept doing shit like holding my hand and he got offended if I didn't hold his hand when we were walking. like, he'd stop and give me this sad and angry look."
"what the fuck?"
"yeah, anyway... just gonna ignore him."
poor sap's been messaging her for like days.

I don't know, I got pretty jaded after seeing that.

Fuck off>>37676198
wtf is this?
fuck off to your normie sites piece of shit

>>37677007
get a better picture without a fucking chair in the foreground, wear better clothing. singlets, shorts, sandals = swipe left
bottom right should be your main pic.

>>37679038
no fucking hope, hit the gym. first two pics are garbage. maybe you'd get some matches with bot right
profile is garbage as well. be more assertive and talk about yourself more.

>>37679269
if the main pic was just you, you'd probably get way more action.
rest are trashy except bot right

>>37679641
>facing away from camera
>gives sign while saying astrology is stupid
>talking about your mother

get your shit together man

>>37680502
main pic is trash, you look retarded.
top right shouljd be your main.
pics with girls are hit or miss, some girls like it, others don't
that pic of you in the black sweater and the main one need to go. also the gun one is pretty garbage, how many girls are into guns or men with guns?

>>37680784

As some of those things may be true you always have to keep the other side in mind: Guys will swipe right a lot of times and randomly message all their matches.

There is no in-depth conversation or emotional connection and you're fool to get worried by it.

Has anyone a few tips in regards to keep conversations going? I feel like the whole smalltalk thing is boring not only me but the girls I matched. Yet I don't wanna sperg out and get to meaningful to soon.

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i put some stank on it

i mistyped it, am actually ISFJ

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>>37681047
gang gang gotta put the rest i guess

>>37681047
are you 18? try making one of these when you are old and less cringeworthy

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Tinder is literally the easiest thing in the world, two super likes and half a dozen matches in a day.

Just be yourself :)

>>37681077
yeah anon, i turned 18 recently. I'd think that from a male perspective you'd say that this is completely manufactured to grab dtf tumblr girls that have daddy issues, i can break this down for you if you want.

>>37676198
>national guard
Consider suicide

>>37676869
Tinder is like 4chan. Writing autistic shitposts is the way to go

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Left or right?
ORrrigsadsadasd

>>37676198
Too Italian.

>>37677197
>5'7"

Yikes, not surprised anon.

>>37681372
>5'8"

Better bump that up to something over 6ft Anon...

>>37681372
it should speak to a certain kind of girl, though i find that pic of you with long hair is unnecessary.

ALSO i feel like putting your height if it is under 6 feet is bad news

>>37681372
Either be above 6 feet or don't mention your size.

Also learn to spell aesthetic and eccentric

>>37681372
i can tell you're a complete beta mess from your profile lol..

>>37681403
>>37681410
>>37681398

Oke doke, you make sense...

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:^) ogrinannarly

>>37681577
Spell your profile correctly Jesus Christ what is wrong with you?

>>37681410
Mentioning height is never a good thing, if you are tall and mention it it makes you look desperate.

>>37680931
The gun pic shows women I am a protector

>>37681140
No joke my friend just opens up with I'm lonely and sexually repressed and gets replies. Roasties have it so good they think the truth is a joke

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I'm total newfag on this app How can i use this shit?

>>37681753
Be handsome
Be funny
Read the fucking thread

>>37681753
You don't
or read the thread

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I am here to be shamed

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>Progress
Also what should I have in my bio I only want a good one liner that will have the women say what the fuck or want to fuck

>>37681835
Wizard/10

>>37681843
there is nothing for you here chad get out

>>37681835
Cut your damn hair
Lose the call if duty 2 picture
Lose the ironic deus vult meme, chicks won't find it funny

>>37681768
>>37681775
Just make a profile and clicking five button and do nothing?
make no sense

>>37681918
but I like my long hair. the rest yeah, I just put them cuz I couldn't give two shits about tinder anymore

>>37679329
>I'm not attracted to black guys
FUCKING BAAAASED

>>37681954
>don't give a shot about Tinder
So essentially you just came here to show us your pictures and fish for compliments?

>>37682008
no, I worded it poorly. meant to say I have no more expectations from tinder. as in all the people I talked with usually stop responding after a few minutes. also yes I am that insecure

>>37681954
Get a man bun and wear sweatpants everywhere you could rock that look and girls like that

>>37679811
moustache is disgusting
you look like a forty year old pedophile, not a 24 year old hipster

>>37681886
Thats not a chad.

This is a chad:
>>37681577

>>37682051
>this is a Chad
You mean that dyel faggot with tumblr tier hair? Please

>>37682026
It's because you must be boring. And you're not on Tinder to make conversation, you're on Tinder to get dates.

>>37682042
I can't. I have psoriasis on my scalp. so I keep my hair long to kind of hide it. I do tie it from time to time, but mostly when I'm at home because I know it looks nasty and I know nobody wants to see that

>>37681587
He's a smart guy, girls will correct him to make themselves feel smart

>>37682073
could be. I really do suck at starting conversations

>>37682073
Not the best hair, but he got the genetics. Look at pic3 and 4.
Im not him btw.

>>37682084
Small minded people often do like feeling smart. Most women on their are small minded

>>37682242
He's got a nice chin and beard, sure. It takes a bit more to be Chad.

>>37682097
The goal isn't to make conversation, it's to get a date. You should have agreed on a date within a couple dozens of messages, max.

>>37682299
for the moment I can't really go on any date. mainly because the people I meet live 80+ miles around me. And I have no means of transportation.

>>37682355
What the fuck are you doing on Tinder then?

>>37682387
trying to talk to people?

>>37676198
if you live forever you would know everything eventually

>>37682417
Try omegle, you big doofus

>>37677009
>>37677099
explain this joke to me

(im not english)

>>37682443
but omegle is full of weirdos trying to jack off into the camera.
>inb4 turn off camera.
that would be an option, yes

>>37682468
And Tinder is full of people who want to get dates and not make conversation.

>>37682450
Which word do you not understand?

>>37681835
I would grow your hair longer m8

>>37682480
I get the words but not the joke

I dont see why it should be funny

>>37681843
remove that youre not photogenic it comes of as insecure

eventhough I feel the exact same way about myself

>>37681886
nigga he isnt chad

>>37682495
There's no joke. What you see is what you get

>>37682483
I am doing it as we speaak.

>>37676198
You look like a manlet on this picture, to fix this, you could just zoom in so the legs arent viseble from the knees bellow.

File: IMG_3889.png (767KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]

767KB, 750x1334px

help

i hate this app so much

>>37682642


THATS A YUUUUUUGE JAW

>>37682495
>>37682051
>multiple images with girls drooling over him "ironically"
>that haircut

>>37682642
"hate the player, ..."

>>37682642
maybe write anything in your bio? Idk, I usually look at what people write there.

>>37682642
too many wacky selfies of yourself

pick the best 3

>>37682642
nothing wrong here
just add some lines to the bio
if you are not getting matches something else is wrong

>>37682642
>I have no friends and no social life, which is why nobody ever took a candid picture of me at a party, social event, or during a group vacation
This is what this profile says about you. Chicks don't dig that

>autism does tinder
At least you guys are putting yourselves out there.

>>37682722
something else is W R O N G

>>37682700
good advice

now i just dont know what to put in my bio

>>37682495
>insecure
WHAT DO I REPLACE IT WITH

>>37682761
hot ones only

>>37682761
I like to collect nipples and put them in a jar

File: IMG_0858.png (943KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]

943KB, 750x1334px

>>37682793
When do I start getting laid

>>37679176
>works at dancer
>has photo in fancy dress(probably at some fucking wedding or prom)
>has a car
>has many instagram photos
>has pictures with guys

>>37681835
romanian?

ndifhgslpd

>>37683880
not my fault my guy. blame probability. I know I do.

>>37681132
>Not joining the neetbranch

I pity you

Did you know that girls get flooded with guys.

Why would she pick you?