I am going to die very soon. My meager and terrible existence

You're doing what people like us dream about. Godspeed anon.

>>37658887
Jesus loves you, this is not what He wants you to do.
You've been warned.

>>37658887
I love you OP. Just do what you feel is right. Bless you.

>>37658913
>Jesus loves you
>but don't kill yourself or you'll end up in an oblivion filled with assessing demons and fire
Really makes you think

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>>37658887
Your roll is a testament to your failure. Could you at least tell us where you live so we can verify your death? I want to leave a note on your grave that says he died an hero. I'll even leave a picture of your favorite pepe.

>>37658926
*assraping demons
Question to Christians: doesn't Jesus want you to be happy? If killing yourself made the suffering end why would he punish you for that? Bunch of nonsense I tell you what, not the deism aspect but that horseshit

>>37658913
I never understood you people. If Jesus loves us so much, why are our lives filled to the brim with shit and misery while others live life on easy mode? There's no omnipotent entity that knows everything and loves all of us, no savior. Jesus has never been there for me, no one but this fucking board really has. I'm going to end my life, and there's only going to be the void to look forward to. Damn I can't wait to cease existing.

>>37658913
Jesus can choke on my dick. Why create me when knowing in advance i will be thrown into a fiery grave? Sick sadistic freak is what that sounds like. Why am i supposed to want t worship god forever and ever and that a REWARD?

>>37658944
Jefferson county, Washington. I prefer wojak.

>>37658962
Another motherfucking suicidal Washington bro. Nice.

This shit better end up on the local news, my dude.

So yeah, goodbye. I'll see you all on the other side, OP signing off. I love you guys.

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>>37658962
I've always wanted to visit Washington, post your Wojak boi.

>Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.
-Isaiah 46:10

>>37658991
Oh fuck yeah Jefferson County has coastal towns I'll have a great time. Maybe I'll even pour you a beer on your grave.

>>37658990

Op, whats your story? Why do you feel like dying?

Make sure you don't aim for the front of your mouth or you may just blow your face off and become a vegetable. Barrel to soft palate is unsurvivable and will probably explode your head like in that pic.

Please don't do it, OP. That's why you made this thread. Because you would never hurt us like that. Please, please, don't do it. You are a gift to the world. You are one-of-a-kind and going to be so very special to so many people. Please, please... don't

>>37659023
Shut the fuck up, let him leave if he wants.

>>37658951
God works in mysterious ways :>)) 23d

>>37658926
>>37658951
>>37658961
If you listen to Joel Osteen for 4 minutes you'll get it. Only you can prevent yourself from actively seeking to find God. I've found God and I know who I am, you all can raise above the circumstances of where you're at. Your perspectives might change yet--again, only if you allow yourselfs the opportunity to discover the holy change. You have to want it. Go on Osteen's website to hear his message from Sunday or look on YouTube for a random sermon. Challenge yourselves like I have.

>>37659187
>seeking to find god
How? Who and what is god? And why am i supposed to want to worship him? I didn't choose to be created. I dont want to worship something/someone forever and ever. If i dont worship it i will be penalized. Thats an ultimatum. Thats binding contract. Fuck you.

I'm going to bed. But I do want to say that it's easy for a man to do the things he is used to doing, whether it be activities, lifestyle, or perception of their reality. Don't let the way you've been living get in the way of your future. Our being in the present is the result of our state of mind. An output of what's inside us, and that comes from whatever we've been filling ourselves with. So if your only going on R9K or keep telling yourself how bad your situation is, then of course your going to feel bad. But when you take a step back and realize "I should be thankful I can walk. I have a great mind. I can read and write in English. I should be thankful for these things." You're reminding yourself of the positive things that make up who you are; and those positive qualities heavily out weigh any part of you that you might think are bad.
Anons I see you as great people and that's why I'm telling you this, so you can see it yourself.
That's how God sees you.

>>37658913
jeebus was a lie made up to induce stockholm syndrome in faggots like you

>>37658887
Don't do this anon. I don't want to sound like a white knight but God damnit man there're so many fucking things worth living for. As shitty as life gets, there are so many fun, enjoyable things you can do every day for only a couple bucks. You can play vidya, watch the Goodfellas, listen to Beethoven, drink an ice cold beer, eat Sicilian-style pizza, read a funny greentext on /r9k/, drive with the windows down blaring Fleetwood Mac. Don't let the normalfags win anon. Live your life, enjoy the things you like and if you don't have any, find them. There's no sense in ending it all when there's so much to be enjoyed, even among the shittiness. What's pushing you to this point anyway man?

>>37658913
why would any loving god create something as horrible as Earth?

>>37659187
Joel fucking Olsteen?
He's one of the most successful religious scammers known to man, what the fuck

>>37659187
Oh Christ, Joel's one of those televised preachers who make millions telling people what they want to hear

>>37658951
Because you're not joining Esoteric Techno-Fascist Christianity that will take revenge on people living the easy life.

>>37659187
Why should one listen to Joel Osteen when he can listen to an actual Christian preacher?
>>37658887
Also OP, suicide is inherently anti-fascist, anyone who suicides is weak scum.

> In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will

(Ephesians 1:11)

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>>37658887
You do know some janitor is going to clean up after your mess, right?

>>37659507
Well for starters, I'm twenty-four and I'm too dumb to pass the GED. I've been working fast food for half a decade, seems to be the only thing I'm competent at. It still sucks dick, I hate all my normalshit coworkers. I also have a degenerate sexuality that while deep down I know is wrong, I'm pretty much physically addicted to jerking off. It's quite the disgusting predicament. I have pretty much no potential and I've been maintaining the same shitty wagie routine since I was sixteen after I dropped out of high school.

Parents are almost home. It's showtime.

>>37659596
>>37659603
The idiototic mean normies must be awake now

>>37659596
Go back to /pol/ and maga you fucking christfag

>>37659612
Anon. Just talk to me. Don't fucking do this man. Give things another shot. You're trapped in a negative mindset that can be overcome. You're only 24-years-old. Just please don't fucking do this man, it's such a waste.

>>37659187
>if you allow yourselfs the opportunity to discover the holy change..
>You have to want it.
This is exactly the same as saying "try this and you'll see for yourself". It's a convinient way of saying you have no argument, but terribly efficient since no one can disprove your own experience.
It is in no way an argument in itself

>>37659641
I appreciate your concern, but what's there to talk about? Really. I've thought this over for a couple of years, suicide is the best option for me at this point.

>>37659612
Your choice is your choice, good luck in whatever awaits you after

>>37659612
Anon. You will be missing out on so many things. There is still time to fix things, trust me. I've been at so many deeply low, shitty points in my life that have made me think the same thing, but I realize that I'd just be letting the normalfags win and I wouldn't be able to do the things I love anymore. Just don't do this. You still have many chances at improving your life.

>>37658887
no one cares

you're a faggot

>>37659696
>You still have many chances at improving your life.
If he has considered the situation carefully enough, he has made the conclusion that none of these ways are viable, stable. desirable or accessible

>>37658887
don't punish your parents for you being such a pathetic asshole. Have the decency to go deep innawoods.

>killing yourself

You can stop your misery without killing yourself anon.

>>37659683
>I appreciate your concern, but what's there to talk about?
Tons. I know it's shitty, I know things are probably fucking terrible right now, but it's not worth ending it all. I'm trying not to sound like a normalfag because I know their way of explaining things and talking is fucking retarded. We're probably pretty similar. I just had to leave uni for a year because I had an autistic breakdown due to not being able to find any friends and being completely alone for half a year. I can't even tell you how many times I felt the same way you're feeling now. But I later realized that there are still so many things I like doing that it's not worth it to miss out on all of it because of the daily shittiness I endure. I'd just be letting the normalfags win again. I'd be letting them continue to party and live it up while I'd be dead, not enjoying anything. Don't let them win anon. I know there are things in your life that you enjoy, and, as normie-tier as it sounds, even little things like food and drink and vidya. You'll figure it out eventually and you'll be able to enjoy a good life. What are your favorite things to do and enjoy?

>>37659723
Fuck off people like you are the reason he's about to do what he do.
I hope someone like him blows your head off one day. That would be delightful.

is a vodka a make of shotgun?

>>37659765
I will continue to think this over. Though they're simple activities, I really do enjoy vidya and music. I just can't really see things getting much better. Best case scenario I continue working at bk and manage to feed myself. I don't want to kill myself because of anything immediate and traumatic, but because I can't see my life going anywhere good in the future. I have no real future. My two options are either end myself, or continue to enjoy games and music. I'm pretty torn between the two.

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>>37659765
hollow optimism.

>>37659786
So you think it isn't enough that he failed his own life? He has to ruin his parents life too? OP hasn't fully explained why his parents deserve this yet, but they would basically have to be monsters, which I highly doubt.

>>37659884
My mom's exposed me to hostile, dark entities that she believes to be aliens. I suspect they are jinn. She's told me my entire life about her "starseed" delusion. When I was younger, I believed her of course. These entities I assume have mind altering abilities. It wouldn't surprise me if the sexual problems I have are a result of their tampering.

By extension, this is my mom's fault. And my dad just stood by and watched, nods his head and agreed with whatever the duck she said. I'd have no qualms about traumatizing them.

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>>37659868
>I will continue to think this over.
In the end, OP was too weak to do it
what a surprise

>>37659868
I'm glad buddy. You can still fix things. It doesn't have to come to this. The little things make life worth living. I know normalfags say it all the time, but it really is true.
>I have no real future.
Yes you do anon. College is a meme. It isn't a prerequisite nor is it a guarantee of success. There are plenty of jobs you can get without a degree. You can learn a trade as well or start out somewhere with more upward mobility and rise through the ranks. Are there any fields you're interested in?

>>37659915
So do you still think those "beings" are real? How did she exspose you to her delusions. It's rare for people to have the same hallucinations.

>>37659877
>>37659936
Will you shitlets knock it the fuck off? We are all brothers here. We need to look out for each other.

>>37659943
Not really. I wanted to do wildlife rehab after being a volunteer for some time, but then I realized that everyone who does that full time is a women with a Chad husband who can pay for all of it and support her.

I have two thousand dollars in the bank currently, maybe I'll build a new pc. Something to take my mind off things. I've been meaning to try ArmA 3, but my current pc can't run it.

>>37659936
Like giving up on life because it's too hard for you and pulling the trigger takes so much strength.

>>37659868

Fast food makes everyone unhappy. Change it up and work some place a little more laid back like a grocery store or a pet store. A change of scenary would do you alot of good because right now youre just in a negative mindset and surrounded by negative people.
Not a good combination.
A new job would be a fresh start, with fresh faces. I recommend you look at community college programs. They dont require a hsd or ged and if you have "some college experience" the lack of hsd is typically overlooked in a lot of jobs.
Many of those schools have fee waivers and financial aid programs to at least get you started.
Who cares if youre not "smart"
It takes only a few years to get a degree in something simple you can still feel proud of like becoming an electrician or a cna.
It wont make you richy rich but you can afford things like a vacation and a decent living. The only one stopping you is YOU op, You need to pull up your big boy pants and take the steps towards your new and better self.

>>37659968
She always told me about her "star family", and how she'd communicated with aliens in her dreams. Was apparently abducted once, I don't known if any of that is true. Just last year she told me that she had channeled some being, relinquished control of her body to it momentarily. Freaky shit. I've seen things moving in my peripheral vision, shadow people while on my wall to work a couple of times, every time I go outside at night I feel like I'm being spied on. I can't help but feel that these things are related. My entire family's been fucked by this to be honest. My uncle has seen shadow people and had horrifying sleep paralysis since he was very young. Dreams involving soul eating ETs.

>>37659987
Wildlife rehab sounds interesting. Do you like the outdoors/animals? Ever consider becoming a park ranger? That'd be a cool job.

>>37660022

Op do you have a kik?

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>>37658887

I might have killed myself years ago, if it weren't for my little sister and my grandmother. Hope you look around you and find a reason to live, OP.

It took a long time but I'm glad I waited it out and kept pushing forward. Life finally started getting better in my late 30's, took a long time but t was worth it.

>>37660038
No, but I have Skype. Will that do?

>>37660048

Darn i dont use skype
I wanted to talk to you about what youve seen, i have some related experiences

>>37660037
Yep, have had an affinity for birds of prey in particular since I was like twelve. That would be a pretty cool job. Park rangers around where I live are often involved in drug busts and scaring away homeless junkies hiding in the state park, but I wouldn't be entirely opposed to that in addition to the regular outdoors work.

>>37660055
I can set up a kik I guess. Never used it, no idea how it works. Give me a few minutes, stay with the thread. I'm interested. Will let you know when it's good to go.

>>37659974
Brothers in what? In misery? What you are doing is adding more years of suffering to this planet.
If we really are brothers we should be congratulating eachother for when one does anything to get out of their daily pain,
even if it mean taking the shotgun way out.

>>37660022
Sounds like good old case of hereditary mental illness. Albeit a very hard one. You know there are really good medicaments against psychosis nowadays right? My mom is bipolar with psychotic episodes where she used to hear voices and fun stuff like that. She performed all kinds of esoteric nonsense on me as a child but it miraculously only fucked me up a little. Anyway it's not your moms fault that your family is full of nutcases. don't make her watch her sons brains plastered on the living room wall.

>>37660073

Ok i will be lurking

>>37660062
That's cool anon. You should try to do that. I think you only need a two year degree to be a park ranger and you can eventually end up making 60K a year plus benefits. You can easily live an enjoyable life with that money and you can do something you actually like doing while working in some of the most beautiful places on earth.

>>37660106
Kik messenger doesn't want to install properly on my crap phone. Whatever questions you may have had, could you just ask in the thread? Can't think of any other service to use

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what on earth is a vodka shotgun?

>>37658992
"Sit down and shut up, stop questioning My almighty Will even if it is laughably moronic at times"

>>37660095
I really hope you're right. These things are tearing my family apart, no one can fully trust each other. The uncle I mentioned doesn't talk to anyone but me very often.

>>37660136

Drop your skype and ill make one later today. Im assuming youll be around to chat later?

>>37660074
Your defeatism is what allows so many of us to ultimately lose. There are things worth living for. It took me a long time, and many months of pain, misery, and thoughts like you're having to realize that, but I recently did.

Even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant things can make life great. Just the other day I went to a local German festival and had some wurst, sauerkraut and a Hefeweizen beer. I went by myself but I had a great time. I enjoyed the food, the beer and the music and ended up really enjoying myself. Do things like this anon. It really changes your mindset.

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>>37658887
Sometimes I wish I was a millionaire. I would meet up with anons from/ r9k/ every couple months and make them have the blasts of their lives. Prostitutes,booze,vidya, traveling to Japan comiket, more prostitutes. This only but a dream but one day brothers one day.

This is OP, I have to get dressed and be out the door for work in thirty minutes. I'll be back here before I leave.

>>37660165
Sure. My name on Skype is Ryan Welch. Profile picture is of three Wehrmacht soldiers with a kitten, black and white photograph. I'll probably be online sometime this afternoon, send me a message whenever.

I'll be back at some point.

what kind of shells? and where do you aim? will it be instant?

is it buckshot

I don't care at all

cya

>>37660202

Okay op i will add u later then. Try to have a good work day and dont let the assholes you work with ruin it for you

>>37658887
Sounds dissatisfactory and anticlimactic.
The only time you stand up for yourself and act for yourself is to shoot your own head off? Weak, you can do better.

>>37659597
> Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live
The unhinged ramblings of a schizophrenic, or someone who lived before 99.9% of all human knowledge
> A bitched [bastard child] shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord.
Simple maths means this automatically discounts almost every living human from ever entering into heaven. Poorly thought through hyperbole. Also
>Yet you say, 'Why should not the son suffer for the iniquity of the father?' When the son has done what is just and right, and has been careful to observe all my statutes, he shall surely live. The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
> unless the wickedness is breaking wedlock, then fuck the son
But if the son be wicked?
> Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. Psalm 137:9

>>37658887
Don't anon. Don't go out like this. You will leave no hope behind for the rest of us. If you are serious about this, then at least take out some others with you. Take out the ones who would take joy from your demise. Take out the ones who will fake tears for a few weeks and then forget about you.

Do what I couldn't do anon.

>>37658951
You chose this experience
The omnipotent part of you did so
And you will return to it if you follow that faint positive glow of love, peace, strength and righteousness

>>37658990
Don't do it anon :c

>>37658887
Fuck off Kurt Cobaine