Work Stories

>>37634852
sure, go ahead
more interested in mang tho, or the nazi guy

>>37634852
I know people do crazy things for attention but why the fuck would that guy grab a metal plate straight from the oven? Also please continue on about pickles the landwhale, this place could use a decent thread for once.

>>37634852
Any fat stories about pickles? Fats do the weirdest shit at work, does she ever steal food? Eat while working?

So more on the land whale
>the nigger hater that trained me doesnt even do my job all he does is wash dishes
>theres a nigger in the dish pit that works with him
>this nig seems to be alright seeing as the nigger hater is ok with him
>learn the dish fags are cool people and have free food i get to eat
>learn that "Pickles" the land whale loves niggers
>tried to pay dish nig to fuck her
>learn that she tells every new person that she is rich and tries to pay the guys to fuck her
>also learn that she only asks to be called pickles when shes sexually frustrated
>she asked me to call her pickles
>fuckthat.jpeg
>learn that dish nig was offered $500 to fuck an autist land whale
>even dish nigs standards were too high for her
>i go back to my position making food
>burnt mexican man works less than three feet behind me at all times
>everyone there hates him
>learn that pickles tried to fuck him too
>stuck with mexican and pickles all night
>shit
>mex and i are stuck closing the restaurant
>the fucker makes me do all the hard work because im new
>"eyy buddy you gonna clean this panini press ok?"
>he cleaned the one that never gets used so i have to do the hard one
>takes five minutes
>"that wasnt too bad, is this good?"
>"eyy urs is cleaner so we're juss gonna cloz dem both so we do less ok?"
>wat
>the fucking lazy ass brown face did a worse job than the new guy?
>mex is thirsty so he asks our boss if he can have orange juice
>"fuck dude youre like 40 and theres free soft drinks right there why are you drinking that shit"
>"eyy i dont like pop"
>manager is actually chill and offeres me free food at the end of the night
many weeks later mex got fired and we hired a heroin addict in his place
i'll cont because fuck waiting

>>37635180
What was Mex's deal and how did you guys find out noob squared was a heroin adict?

>>37635180
>we hired a heroin addict in his place
How was the junkie? They're meant to be annoying as shit to work with

Has pickles offered you to sleep with her yet?

So mexfag is fired because he walked out during a rush hour and dish nig got into a car crash so he doesnt work there anymore
>they hired a new guy to work the mexfags position
>smells of shit and alcohol
>i wasnt working the days he was being trained so hes alone now
>he shows up to work late every day
>one day we're working together he seems a little off
>go back to dish but its not nigger hater
>turns out the other guy also hates niggers
>nice
>tell him about the druggy
>"oh yeah he came back here and offered me some cocaine yesterday"
>wat
>go back to make food
>we were slow so im just cleaning and minding my own business
>talking to qt3.14 ive befriended
>qt goes to run food out to customer so im alone with druggy behind me
>he feel his breath on my neck and before i can turn around
>"oh yeah anon you wash that you dirty boy, you dirty, dirty boy"
>fucknopleasenorape.png
>qt walks back right as this is going on
>she sees me staring into space with fear in my eyes
>"w-what was that anon?"
>tell her exactly what he said
>"oh fuck no way really? go tell the managers!"
>i go and tell the managers
>"fuck are you serious anon?"
>keep in mind i was a minor when this happened and druggy was at least 25
>"y-yes sir it did"
>they ask me if it made me uncomfortable
>"fuck yes it did"
they ended up having to sit the guy down and talk to him about how that was wrong\
>druggy doesnt even say sorry
>he goes to leave for night
>he walked over to our ice cream machine and filled a 12oz to go cup with ice cream
>he then walks over and takes a metal spoon and walks away
>we have plastic spoons
>he just stole a spoon
>tell a lower level manager about it
>"oh yeah hes probably going to use it for drugs"
>wat.jpeg
the manager who talked to the druggy was weird and i have a story about him which i'll post next

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>>37634852
>Work at walmart in lawn and garden
>Do menial repetitive jobs cause no one wants to
>Old ass van comes creaking up
>out steps this red head
>balding, in a red tank top no bra jean shorts looks to be about 45 on meth and has some belly
>Comes walking up to me
>"oh boy here we go"
>asks how Im doing
>Proceedes to talk to me about her "babies"
>her 8 cat "babies"
>Then goes on to tell me how the "man" tries to take them away
>godhelpme.jpg
>Says she thinks the government wants to "test" on her and her babies
>asking me ways to avoid them
>Playing it cool at this point
>Somehow this rambling goes to her and her sexual enlightenment story when she was 22
>She proceeded to tell me she had sex with a "seer" and he "opened" her eyes to what the world was like
>proocedes to go silent
>Tries to rub my arm
>"anon can you help me get food for my babies"
> Had enough
>made up a story that I had to go in the back for soemthing
>come back 30 mins later she was gone
>2 days later
>saw one of my coworkers with his arm around her *still in the same clothing btw* going to his shitty ass van

So this before the incident with the druggy, but not too far in the future
>we get new managers all the time because they all quit on us
>new assistant gm comes in
>the guy is a little off but i havent actually talked with him yet
>walk into the walk in cooler
keep in mind this cooler has no windows and is practically sound proof
>walked in to get fruit
>see new assistant gm
>"oh hey" i say
>"oh hey anon"
>go to sort through fruit to get the type i need
>the guy dropped a whole 5lb block of ham
>we lock eyes
>he slowly bent down while still maintaining eye contact
>as he picks up the ham and stands up
>"SLAP A HAM!"
>he slapped the shit out an inanimate ham
>okthen.jpeg
>"I liked h-how it bounced" i said
>"yeah human bodies bounce when they fall too"
>wat
>i immediately left without saying another word
so it turns out this guy was actually cool and didnt give a shit what we did
i worked during a period where a lot of people who had worked there before left but were now coming back, including the druggy mother...

>>37635180
>dish nig
kek

>>37635501
Walmart is such a fucked job, man.
Worked in the clothing department and had someone shit on the floor

The druggy mother was an interesting character...
>making food tonight with the only nig in the store who was the worst nig and a latina stacyfag
>we use headsets to listen to window orders and to talk to each other
>just me drugmom and stacy have headsets
>drugmom couldnt leave work so she convinced another stacyfag at our work to go buy her alcohol
>so now drugmom is high and drunk
>its the neew kids first day so i tried to be friendly
>as soon as the new guy walks into the cooler drugmom now drunk and high, rushes after him
>last thing i hear before the door closes
>"now that ive got you alone"
>door shuts
>oshit
>the new kid comes out and i ask what happened
>nothing exciting
>drugmom starts talking about her sex life over the headsets
>stacy and i look at each other and start to laugh
>stacy goes to say something but before she can say anything
>"hey drugmom wheres the craziest place youve had sex?"
>"oh the craziest was the back of a backhoe in a construction site"
>"the grooves in the claw thing tore up my back so that sucked and the guy wasnt even good"
>someone tells me about her drug addiction
>realize she was a heroin addict while she was pregnant
>baby is probably fucked up
>kek
within the next 2 months of drugmom being hired a heroin needle was found in the bathroom and she was fired again
I'll try to think of more fucked work stories I have if you guys want more

>working as cashier
> relatively new, had job less than 2 months
>older guy comes up to my register
> asks me what kind of guys i like
> I laugh and say funny guys
> has about $10 worth of stuff
> pays with $100, internal scream
> asks me if I'm impressed
> laugh and ask why
>he says he is rich and shows off more hundreds in his wallet
>I say no as I hand him his reciept
> he rips the receipt out of my hand, giving me a paper cut, and calls me a liar

>fat lady comes in
>Orders side salad with her meal
>Side salad usually comes with tomato, onion, peppers
>Deliver salad to her table
>"Umm, where's my croutons?"
>"Oh, it doesn't normally come with croutons, did you want some?"
>"Oh, no, I guess don't worry about it"
>"Oh, uhh, okay"
>Tell manager about it, we have a giggle
>She finishes her meal, as she's leaving, she approaches the manager
>"Your employee refused to give me croutons that I paid for. Just thought you should know."
>Manager: "well, okayyyyy? If you want a refund on your salad I can give you one"
>"No, it's too late for a refund. I'm never coming back here. Goodbye."

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>>37636197
Fuck people like this
fuck off fucking faggot
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck off

>>37636280
She still ate the whole salad, idk what her problem was.

Another one
>Old lady calls in her order
>I ask to make sure it's for pickup, as a lot of people think we deliver and we don't
>"No, I'm at the light next to y'all's store, I just want my food to be ready by the time I get there"
>"Okay, well it usually takes about 15 minutes for the pizza to come out of the oven, so it probably won't be ready by the time you get here"
>"Okay, fine"
>She hangs up
>5 minutes later, a couple of old goblins waddle in
>They immediately sit down (general protocol is to order at the counter, pay, then sit down, but some people grab a menu and sit down first)
>5 minutes later, old crone drags herself to the counter
>"Is our food ready yet? Is anyone going to ask us what drinks we want?"
>"Oh, we're you the call in order?"
>"Obviously. Is our food ready yet?"
>"Nope, still cooking. Should be another 5 minutes"
>"Are you kidding me? You said it would be ready by now. Cancel my order, I'm leaving."
>She goes back to her table, pulls her husband out the door
>Pizza guys and I have a giggle, eat her pizza when it comes out of the oven 5 minutes later