r9k's first time

>>37634251
b u m p

curious to here what robots think it'll be like!

awkward. I'm a 25 year old female virgin, which granted is probably better than bein a 25 year old male virgin, but still I'm way behind all my peers at this point and I'm going to be very vulnerable going into sex or any type of relationship.

>>37634401
Pls be originally my girlfriend.

>>37634251
I remember my first time sucked
We did it on her couch with me on top and it got so hot and stuffy

I'm pretty sure I couldnt finish too, it was just too much. After that time though we learned to do doggy or her on top more with the AC on

I was 19, and she was 20. Both our first time actually. What was probably way more fun was the first time she did anal. Turns out she really like that and I sure as hell did too.

>>37634251
Shit, this is the best virgin meme after the virgin walk and the virgin sit.

>>37634401
>is probably better
Men that are virgins at 25 are considered shut in beta losers. Women that are virgins at 25 are considered awkward and shy. Men love to take a woman's virginity, but most women doesn't want some virgin awkwardly flopping on top of them. It's a night and day difference in normie land

>pussy queefs loudly during sex due to small girth
Tell me this is a meme...

Non-existent. I'll never have anyone who would be willing to do that with me.

>>37634401

Actually a grill or do you have a penis

Why are you still a virgin?

>>37634536
bawhahahaha, fuck a girl and find out anon :)

>>37634251
I didn't think I would have such a hard time cumming, but drunk-dick is a real thing.

Also, didn't expect to get winded after just 6 hard thrusts.

>>37634528
Nah man. A male virgin is the height of sex. So excited to see you naked, so desperate to please you (even he he does so poorly), the sound of his moans when you give him his first blowjob. I'm getting horny just thinking about it. I love taking guys' virginities

>>37634550
Actually a girl. I'm kinda fat and a loser and it's just never happened.

>>37634528
You're adorable anon
But also really socially retarded

>>37634614

:(

If you are a girl you can get laid pretty easy if you want, may not be with the caddiest of chad's though

I'm a dude at similar age/situation, only hope this point is to pay for it tbqh

>>37634702

Chaddiest*

Daily reminder that women on /r9k/ are just roleplaying normies who want to trick looser robots

>>37634536

What's the sound of escaping air anon?

>>37634251
i have to imagine a future society that reconstitutes my dna from bonedust for the sake of sexual experimentation on defectives

so i imagine myself as a lab-raised idiot strapped to a table while another lab-raised idiot is forced to copulate with me in a drugged stupor

>>37634614
have you considered going for a run? It will actually solve all of your problems

>>37634251
Me and my freinds plan on going to a music festival this summer and I KNOW I can easily get laid with a drunk girl there. The only problem is that I might not end up going due to depression hitting me a harder this summer than usual.

I'm also paranoid about my dick not working when it's time.

First time we were both 18. I invited her up to my dorm room and we were just joking around having a couple beers waiting for another friend. Next thing I know Im leaning into kiss her and one thing leads to another and then we lost our virginities at the same time. I pretended I knew what I was doing and at first I hurt her alot cause I have a huge penis but gradually I shimmied my way in there and it was fun. Went on some dates after and wee dating for almost a year :)

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>>37634607
PLEASE TAKE MINE

ORIGINALLY

>>37634251

Even if I do everything right and finally get a gf and we go to have sex, I know I'm going to disappoint her with my virginity and my poor sexual skills. Why would a woman stay with an inexperienced man when she can just get with Chad? This is why I don't even bother. My best is not good enough.

>>37634356
I don't have any expectations for it, assuming I ever lose the v-card at all

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>>37634507
>virgin sit
Someone please post it for me.

>>37634528
Only by sexually active people, who also judge virgin women. Women who are virgins tend to prefer virgin men, though.

>>37634607
Roleplayers raus

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My first time was me literally moving like a floppy-fish.

>>37634251
My first time was with a woman who had more experience than myself. She did not know I was a virgin. She did most of the work so there was no pressure on me.

I doubt it's ever going to happen if I am to be honest.

>tfw no women who tolerate virgin men

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>>37636545
>theatre has a strict no singles policy

>>37634607
thiisssssss I agree with sooooo much I've literally been fantasizing about this friend of mine who I knooow to be a virgin for months cause of this

>>37634251
gee billy two condoms?

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>>37636775
saved em all from the last thread

>>37634251
It will be with my oneitis and it will be perfect.

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>>37636802
>I hope you all do low squats when eating or youll stay a virgin forever

>>37634251
it was not too great, the condom kept me from feeling anything and after a couple mins i went soft

we did it without a condom later that night and it was great, blew my load on her belly and she cleaned up and we cuddled and went to sleep later

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>>37636829
>youll never be chad if you dont start peeing with your pants around your ankle

>>37636862
Keep posting my friend. These are very good/

>>37636862
>not the wizard whiz

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>>37636829
> are chads conquests after his first all refered to as the chad plow

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>>37636894
im not half as clever as i would like to be origion

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>>37636912
tfw havent been to the movie in years

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>>37636939
>can never think of a clever one liner until its too late

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>>37636959
>tfw I block the sun with light curtains + blinds + blackout curtains

>>37634251
>chad is depicted in this picture as being age 11-13 and still in middle school

MODS MODS MODS

u guys are just copying the chade stride guy

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>>37636997
> ty random bot for making my shit idea into a less shit OC meme

>>37634251
Had my first time at 16. It rained and we couldn't go see this outdoor art show, so we fucked pretty much out of boredom. Wore a condom and couldn't cum despite a solid 40 minutes of fucking missionary style. Tried doggy later, which was comically clumsy on both of our parts and didn't work, so we went back to missionary. Ribbed condoms are not a good idea for virgin fucking. Went slow and gentle; lots of cutesy "I love you"s and face-to-face contact.

Went way harder the second time and wound up making her bleed like crazy. Again, ribbed+hymen=ouch.

>>37634251
It'd probably play out like this
>start sloppily kissing girl
>uncomfort and disgust visible in her eyes
>proceed to pull down pants
>immediate guffaws of laughter escape girl's lips
>takes picture of exposed genitals
>leaves
Can't really imagine a scenario better than that, to be honest

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>>37634251
Just gonna throw ideas out here

>the virgin selfie, the Chad portrait
>the virgin flirt, the Chad pickup
>the virgin dance, the Chad jig
>the virgin shave, the Chad razor (uses eye beams on his facial hair ala Superman)
>the virgin stance (slouched with neck issues), the Chad stance (Jojo pose, has never even heard of a hunchback)
>the virgin fap (weird fetishes), the Chad excrement (circlejerking, has never heard of porn)

>>37634251
>is between ages 11 and 13
Rip everyone that has laws against drawn cp

>>37634251
I'm probably going to die a virgin. If not my first, and probably last time, would likely be me raping a drugged or sleeping woman 30 years from now.

I'll lose it to a prostitute so I guess she'll just ride me for 30 seconds and I'll cum. Then she'll pretend to not be disgusted by me while cuddling, which I assume will be the best part.

>>37637456
Why would she be disgusted? I'd guess awkward virgins are their favorite customers. No anal, no choking, no spanking, no bareback, no need to say no to retarded requests, plus she gets paid to work for an hour and gets to kick back and relax for 59 minutes and 30 seconds. Getting a free 2nd round is not unheard of.

>>37634251
>>37636775
>>37636802
>>37636829
>>37636862
>>37636894
>>37636912
>>37636939
>>37636959
>>37637014
Jesus these fucking images are hilarious. It has been years since anything posted on 4chan has actually made me laugh out loud like this shit.

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>>37636775
>vibrates constantly to annoy people
what the fuck is this even referring to

>>37634251
>pussy queefs loudly due to small girth

i felt a stab of pain at my heart. pls stop

>>37637500
Because whores would still rather fuck nonvirgin old businessmen than some awkward loser. Plenty even have no virgin policies.

>>37634607
we don't care, brodude, go be gay somewhere else

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>>37634251
Was just about to lose it an hour ago. Put on a condom and lost my erection immediately. Fucking end me, that was embarrassing.

>>37637599
i think its the thing people do with their foot that the knee like spazzes out and makes noise as the foot touches the floor and lifts

>>37634401
All you have to do is lay there and let sexually experienced Chad do his thing

>>37634251
what are these images called yo

>>37637718
Actually, all she has to do is position herself naked with her legs apart in literally any public space and she'll lose her virginity. Meanwhile some of us can't even get a professional to do the job, we'd literally have to resort to rape to lose our virginity.

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>>37637682
>tfw I do that
IT REALLY HAPPENED, I'M FINALLY A CHAD NOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT BRAHS.

>>37636862
>Ear-piercing yelling
Chad's got some kidney stones?

>>37637813
From all the virgin salt.

I really want to see someone cosplay these two IRL, even though I usually consider that kind of thing cancer

>those fucking pubes
Top kek

>>37634251
Ideally, it'll be mutually fulfilling, and grow out of a natural courtship with a girl who genuinely wants to sleep with me.

I know it'll probably be a sad, torrid, drunken one-night stand with a girl who I used to be friends with and I'll wake up wishing I knew whether or not I did well but never being able to find out because all I have for proof is $50 on the dresser and some scattered nudes.

>>37634401
So what's it like being a female virgin?

My first time:
ED
Anons here don't have to take cialas to get hard for womenz.

>have a dumbass psuedo chad friend
>had to explain to this nigga that if a human fucks a baboon they will not breed
>he thought that was how evolution worked
>he meets girls all the time and i haven't talked to one in years

end me quickly

This new Chad Virgin meme is hideous I can't understand that anyone would enjoy it.
This board is filled with 12 yr old fags

>>37635320
shes gonna get fucked and gain confidence while running?

>>37634251
>shriveled from masturbation

Where this meme comes from

>>37639047
its a throwback to a simpler time for shitty memes many years back. the absurdist humor only adds to that charm. gtfo my board normie

>>37639047
>This board is filled with 12 yr old fags
4chan in general is filled with 12 year old fags. The tide of newfaggotry is unceasing.

>>37636577
[citation unoriginally needed]

d-does fapping make your dick smaller?

I lost my virginity in a drunk threesome with 2 girls i was sort of friends with
threesomes are really overhyped its so much fucking effort plus it was awkward af afterwards
did get my dick sucked by 2 girls at once tho which was p cool
continued to get dick sucked in school toilets til i broke it off with one the girls who liked rlly fancied me cause she was fucking mental

>>37639047
>any form of fun is terrible and must be the result of newfags
cool it, hothead

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>>37637205
I made an image dedicated to the virgin fap. It'd be cool if someone wittier than me would do the chad version

underwhelming

I'll probably want to cry the whole time and not be able to sleep afterwards

>>37634251
amazing or imaginary

>>37635433
>I KNOW I can easily get laid with a drunk girl there

No. You can't. If you had the social skills to do that, you'd have had sex by now.

>>37639247
That's not funny.
Delete your shitty OC.

>>37639392
The virgin ones aren't supposed to be funny, fagwad
delete your post

>>37639405
>The virgin ones aren't supposed to be funny
They should be funny virgins only. Because this OC should only stay on 4chnz (even if it's already on other websites).
Re make your OC

>>37634401
Don't play stupid. Tits or gtfo

>>37639247
why is this one not funny

Probably the way you drew the guy sorry dude

>>37634251
add the wizard "losing of his powers"

>>37639502
>>37639392
I like it, especially the expression.

>was 27
>lasted for a hour and had to jerk my self off
>married her
>have a small dick but who cares right

>>37634251
>girl makes him wear 1 condoms

>>37639442
The ridiculous exaggerations of virgin traits to the point of comedy are reserved for wizards, you know. Virgins are supposed to be sad and relatable and Chads are supposed to do everything contrary to what the virgin does but to insane extremes. Maybe you just don't understand the meme.

>>37639577
Yeah, this. People who make non-terrible OC are few and far between, don't berate them if you don't know what you're talking about

I was 16. We were friends at that time but peripherally, I was way too much of a dork, and she was this really artsy indie chick. But we had a similar taste in music and movies,we used to chat on Skype sometimes and when we shared class together she would sit next to me. She seemed to think I was this "dark, tortured soul", the truth is that I was and am an asshole, when you're immature it can appear like the former. She acted way older than her age, already drinking and partying with like 20 year old dudes and going to gigs and all that, I was really intimidated by her at the time like the stupid teen I was. Still, I liked her but I didn't think I had a chance.

Out of the blue she messages me about wanting to hang at her house, I brought over some beers and we watched Wild at Heart in her bed. I took ages, I was so frightened, but eventually I started touching her thigh and we ended up kissing. It was the first kiss I'd ever experienced and it was the best one I've ever had. We got naked I sucked her titties, licked and fingered her pussy. She was wearing these incredible silver panties, she obviously expected me to make a movie or she wouldn't have worn those.

Then the worst shit ever happened, she wanted to go don on me but I was anxious and frightened that I couldn't get a boner. and of course then I couldn't. It was the most embarrassing experience of my fucking life. It was literally like that scene from the inbetweeners. She asked if it was my first time, and I said, yes and that I was sorry. I was overcome with embarrassment and wanted to get the fuck out of there. In retrospect she was kind to me, and understanding, she even hugged and kissed me in the driveway as I left.But at the time I wanted to neck myself, and thought I really disappointed her and that I'd ruined any chance of ever getting laid.

>>37639601
Enlighten me on what makes good Virgin memes then, you unbelievable faggot

>>37639654
I don't get it. You guys just stopped talking after that? Bullshit.

>>37639654
I was so fucking clueless, the next year I went to my senior formal with her, she even fucking invited me herself! I was a complete fuckwit and just threw it in her face by being so ignorant of her feelings because of my own embarrassment. We played a Velvet Underground song for the formal which was kind of cool though. But I didn't treat her well or take a photo with her I just wanted to leave and retreat because I was depressed and avoidant.

Then she gets a boyfriend and forgets about me. Occasionally we'd have a conversation over text but the magic was gone. Eventually she blocked me, I think she hates my guts for being so cowardly. I deserve it. I wish I could make things right and tell her how much of an idiot I am.

Ultimately I lost my virginity on tinder to some random slut after graduation. It meant nothing, and I regret it. But at least I don;t have performance anxiety anymore.

>>37639684
Baaically what this guy said >>37639577
I found that image pretty sad and relatable

>>37639696
We still talked, we still had classes together and we were friendly. But I never brought up what happened, and neither did she. It felt weird.

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Posting with OC

>>37634401
M A D R I D
A
D
R
I
D

>>37640287
Your OC career stopped here

>>37640287
hey bor funy shit is it cool if i rp on my insta thz

>>37640358
i want him to make more desu

>>37640358
Why?
>Inb4 strokes aren't wide enough to give aesthetical thumbnail
>Inb4 minor spelling mistakes
>Inb4 didn't colour inside the lines

>>37639247
Chads don't have to fap

>>37634401
Do you want to have some no strings sex?

>>37634401
SCHLAMPE RAUS

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I made the virgin waiting for a bus pls someone improve it i don't think it's very good

>tfw short brain hair with a cowlick

why dont you all fuck off

>>37640956
>>37640287
>>37639247
Ye should take example on him>>37640956

>>37641036
>Anon should take advice from himself
>What did he mean by this

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I'm gonna put my dick in there and blagagaghagaggagahgagahhaa

>>37641058
I didn't know you wet the same guy. Sorry

>>37641151
Read your post again..

>>37641151
Just stop posting, your making an embarrassment of yourself

>>37641194
>Just stop posting, your making an embarrassment of yourself
No, I'll continue. I'm waiting the next OC

>>37641264
How about you make OC yourself instead of being obnoxious?

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>>37636802
THE FUCK?
HOW DOES IT KNOWWW

>>37641285
No, I don't want to. You should make some OC

I want to take more robot virginities, I've only taken 2 so far

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>>37641493
Oh my god honey let me snake your toilet pleeeeeeeeease????

>>37639247
Only problem is that it's supposed to be satirical, not well-drawn.
>>37640287

Honestly, for a virgin demotivacional, these are good enough.

>>37634251
>>37636775
>>37636802

Is this the new pee pee poo poo? I really hope so. I haven't seen something this funny in a long time.

>>37641661
Sure if you don't call me honey again

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>>37641892
Wahahahaha too late, I've just jacked off thinking about you taking my wretched NEET cock... COCK!!!! YOU ARE YOU RETARD LOOOOOL oh my goddddddd I'm high as shit hahaha oh my god damn high right now holy shit haha get stoned OUT OF YOUR MIND OH DADDY

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>>37641680
better? didnt expect my oc to be shat on so much

>>37641954
Add more hyperboIe. Just a personal request

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>>37641954
Shop the original virgin walk in and you're golden.

>>37641954
The irony making OC is that it has to appear somewhat uniform with the others, otherwise its seen as inferior.

Its a cruel world out there kid.

>>37641680
>tfw your art is too good to make funny memes

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Reposting with thicker line weight, apologies for samefagging

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>>37641965
Does this do you any better by any chance?

>>37639247
This is one of the better ones to be honest. Don't listen to what those other guys are saying.

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>>37641971
Here you go, chum
origami

>>37642186
Not the guy you're replying too but this level of hyperbole should be reserved for the wizard part. The point of the virgin is that it has to be relatable so the absurdist contrast between it and Chad has more impact

>>37642131
The Chad part is not nearly absurd enough to be funny.

>>37642399
>ears flap in sync with the camera flash
>turns up nose on command
>mastered staring that he doesnt even require eyes
yeah some pretty normie behaviour going on there anon

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>>37642317
abracadabra and Bibidi-Bobbidi-Boo

>>37639015
>that if a human fucks a baboon they will not breed
how do you know?

>>37642502
Didnt you know thats how aid's started? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-lEzYZMo1k

>>37642528
That is merely a speculation. Nobody knows how AIDS really started, there are too many alternative explanations.

For instance, people in Africa eat monkeys and other primates. The eating or processing of such meat could have been the cause of the very first infection ever.

But yes, niggers fuck monkeys. Bestiality is a thing pretty much everywhere, it is just not in plain sight.

>>37642609
Was kind of saying it in jest but thanks for the history lesson desu

chad oc>virgin oc>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>wizard oc

>>37643251
what the hell are you talking about? wizard oc is GOAT, queerlord

how long until normies get a hold on these memes

>>37643331
I'm pretty sure these are normie-proof

the wizard editions aren't actually funny

>>37643331
Pretty sure they already have seeing how shit some of the ones being made in this thread are

>>37643541
this
this is the kind of shit that normals would just say is "awkward"
Interestingly enough, what with how things go, it would probably be re-appropriated in a couple of years

>>37643541
we said the same thing with poo poo pee pee and pepe, look where that went.

>>37636862
>>37636829
>>37636802
The wizard shit is just cringy; stop.

>>37642281
Ten out of ten.

original rating

>>37634251
I think shell try to be in charge and I'll get super pissed and beat the shit out of her because fuck you

>>37643251
>>37643716
>>37643780
Stop samefagging, you mischievous merrymaker

>>37636775
I literally saw a chad doing this the other day though.
and he was like twitching and shit.

The whole thing seems so impossible to me I can't even fantasise about it.

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>>37639247
how did I do guys, I tried my best

I really want to buy a set of muscle shirts with 'Bang!' 'Woah!' and other words now. Not joking.

>>37645789
Somebody should put the "WOW" shirt up on redbubble

>>37645964
I'm more of an "OUCH!" guy myself.

>>37636829
the fucking shirts lmao

>>37634536
Big dicks cause more queefs cause there is less room for the air and its forced out

it's incredible how much the virgin in the comics is like me and the chad is like my tall blonde cousin, though extremely exaggerated obviously

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>>37640956
What does the virgin waiting for the BUS look like?

>>37636997
>weights that are never used
fuck

These "the virgin walk" memes are soul crushing. The virgin character looks JUST like me, down to the hairstyle and weirdly long neck. Why does that have to be the universally unattractive look?

>>37634251
After an evening spent dancing at the national holiday popular ball in the center of town, I'll walk her to my home. She's only here for a couple of days after all, because she lives in the big city. We've been in love since two years. She's very cultured, very beautiful; she's a petit with small breasts but a huge waist and she is witty, likes anime, and wears Japanese schoolgirl socks with glasses. So I'll walk her up. Then we'll go out on the balcony. Fireworks go off. It's warm, and we start to cuddle. I kiss her. I take her in the more shadowy part of the balcony, on a long chair. I keep my hands to her shoulders, where I massage her, but then she gropes my bulge by accident. From there we undress. I kiss her. Then I insert my fingers in her pussy and then eat her out very gently. Then I put my penis inside her, and make love to her for ten minutes, and then come inside her as I passionately kiss her. She's the love of my life. I'm at peak happiness.

R E A L I T Y:

I WILL LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO A SEXBOT IN YEAR 2039 ON A TRIP TO SOUTH KOREA

no virgin haircut yet?

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>>37634251
Already had that 5 years ago (when I was 21). Back then, I had a few beers and was oversensitive, so it didn't work the way it was supposed to... met up with the same girl a few years later and fucked her properly, 4 times a day for weeks, always dropping my load inside (was on the pill). Good times.
>tfw no gf

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>>37634251
>no legs going stiff

>>37639061
Only if she's dressed right

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>>37634251
why the fuck does the one on the left have to look so much like me?

>>37637682
No you don't get it. Chad is an exaggerated opposite of virgin. Virgin tries to stay perfectly still to not annoy anyone, chad being the opposite constantly vibrates to annoy.

27 here.
I'm gonna have to pay for it.

Under the influence of alcohol with a fat girl probably

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can meme anon make one with,a true fembot,a femanon,and a stacy please

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>>37634251
>implying there will be a first time

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>>37648841

i'm gonna need sauce on this familino

>>37640726
NE DU

>>37641971
>tfw i pretty much dress exactly like the virgin walk but dont do anything he does

>>37634251
Losing mine wasn't anything I thought it would be. I was expecting in a bed somewhere around 20 and not lasting long. When I did lose it I was 16 doing it in the back of my car on a back country road. Lasted about a half hour even after road head.

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>>37649151
NORMIES GET OUT!!! You are a faggit bend over and show it!

>>37649199
The fuck you talking about? Go be a retard on /b/.

>>37634607
>>37636777
Either you're gay or we're talking about 18-year-olds. Past a certain age women ARE going to find it offputting.

>>37636847
H-how old were you...?

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>>37649239
Fuck you dude! You had sex in the backseat of a car at 16 with a biological woman who wasn't a working girl. This is not your board, summerfaggot, why are you even here?

>>37637671
Greentext plz

How old, who was it with, who broke it off, etc.

>>37649306
I'm not really gonna get mad about it, but I would like to know this.

>>37649306
Calm down son. I'm here on the only board that requires original content. I've visited this board on and off now for a few weeks now and I'm mearly telling my exlerience. I guess if you don't like that then fuck off to another board or at least another thread.

>>37649381
>I'm here on the only board that requires original content.
Hahahaha holy shit that's what you're here for? Jusst how new are you?

>>37649049
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2frant

>>37645682
Those stacies look hilarious

>>37649421
In the sense that you cant just spam cuck a thousand times like on b or pol. I figure the discussions here would require a bit more thought because of the robot or whatever it is.

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>>37649455
It's a nice sentiment, but seriously how long have you been here? Anyone who doesn't have anything original to say just puts "origioli" or something at the end of their post. This place is generally for people who are damaged in some way and want to lament their circumstances.

>>37634401

tits or gtfo attention seeking whore

>>37640956
the learning to drive shit hit me hard

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>>37634251
does your dick really shrivel from over fapping?

>>37649493
I report every post that tries to bypass the robot. If I have to deal with it so do you, shitstains

>>37649594
I think its a meme anon

>>37636894
>will leave and go somewhere else if forced to parallel park

good god me to a T

>>37639247
>obscure penis with blanket
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>37649628
Report these, faggot

My original nutzzzz

>>37634251
>>37636775
>>37636802
>>37636829
>>37636862
>>37636894
>>37636912
>>37636939
>>37636959
>>37636997
>>37637014
watching these memes, i realize i'm something between the chad and the virgin.

I had my first time, as in after being a robot for 10 years I managed to become normie enough to actually lose my virginity at 29 yo. She was 16 and much more experienced. The whole thing was nice enough but the technical aspect was crap. Could not feel much at all. Maybe it was nervousness/alcohol, maybe my dick is too small, maybe it was 15 years+ of deathgrip. I never came. Which actually probably was a good thing, if you get my meaning.

Now I wonder if, given a second chance, it would just turn out the same.

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Does anyone have the one where the virgins earphones dangle down and hit the ground?

>>37636894
>has never dared to honk his horn
fuck

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>>37634251
fictional of course