I was lying on some girl I knew's bed. She was petting my face and I told her it felt nice, she laughed and told me she loved how stupid I was sometimes.
When I woke up I felt the worst I've felt in a while. I'm actually going to die without being close to anyone. I wasn't blessed enough in life to get the gift of love not even from my family why. Why are some people born pretty, rich, smart, or strong. I always thought I was at least average, I used to not stand out, when did I become autistic? What happened to the little kid who hoped he met somebody who would care about him. Even if I still had time to find somebody it would be fine. I wasted so much of my life, high school I never even went anywhere with any girls as friends let alone a date.
I fucking can't stop thinking about that dream, I just want to go back to it, the girl wasn't even that pretty, I just knew in my heart she cared. That's all I want.
My personal theory is that the pain of fully conscious neonatal circumcision friend my limbic system, and an overactive limbic system causes severe depression, intense anxiety and overwhelming feelings of loneliness. Circ'd babies are also twice as likely to have autism, but of course correlation doesn't imply causation. But common sense says that if you take a fully conscious baby, subject it to horrific pain and torture while knowing that infant trauma permanently damages the brain, then expect it to grow into a successful adult, that's just insanity.
If you're circumcised, then never worry about being a failure, since it was your mother's choice to ruin your life.