cool fight stories that include you or friends

>>37627407
Sounds like some OG shit OP. I've never been in a fight before though

>>37627442
Man going to school in a Slavic country is fucking awesome, even for robots. Shit, the security smoked cigarettes with us

>>37627407
I dont have much but one time on a camping trip my friend sucked me off

>>37627500
Casual brojob, amirite?

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When I read about people getting into street fighters, I can't help but think of the Navy SEAL copypasta.

ARE WE PUSSIES OR ARE WE BITCHES?

ARGAGGALGREGAGDAFH

>>37627407
>walking home with autistic friend
>bully comes up to us
>beats the living shit out of us

g-great fight

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>be me
>13 my best friend is chubby
>its winter
>epic snow fight, and apparently everyone vs fat friend
>snow fight is over and a douchebag from the class above us starts picking on fat friend
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Punch older kid right in the face
>my first knock out
>at principals office with douchebag
>call my parents
>tells me they're proud for once.

>Out with friend, he makes the mistake of putting his cell down on a wall and taking his eye off it in the presence of some kind of ambiguous brown creature so he can search through his wallet for something
>The diverse individual grabs the cell and attempts to run
>We both manage to grab him but he does a surprse spinning attack like Mario's down+b from fucking smash brothers and we lose our grip
>He runs across the road between cars, risking his life to keep the stolen cellphone
>Me friend stuck on the other side, not wanting to die or be injured
>Suddenly realize I've got a bottle of water in my other hand
>Full, so it's still got enough mass to be used as a projectile
>Impulsively toss it at the guy not expecting it to actually land
>He turns his head back to look at us at the precise moment for the bottle to strike him perfectly
>Suddenly drops to the ground, holding his face, screaming
>There is blood
>Has dropped the cellphone and tries to get up, but has lost the coordination required for walking
>Cops show up within a minute (the screaming drew them in) and restrain him
>We cross the road to explain things
>The guy's eye is fucking gone and there is extreme swelling and bleeding around the socket
>He can't speak or apparently understand english
>Once things are explained, he is arrested and taken away
>Friend gets his cell back and we laugh about it with the cops

and then everyone originally clapped !!!

>>37627407
fuck bro what country/region was this in? That would never fly in Taxachusettes

>>37630247
How did you take out someone's eyeball with a water bottle....

>>37630324
Cap hit him right in the eye? I know I once threw a quarter at my friend in high school hit him in the eye he started crying. My friend then threw it at him and hit him in the other eye. more of a toss actually.

>>37630324

Maybe he was hit so hard it just exploded or something. How fragile are eyes, anyway?

>>37627407
What slavic country btw?
>>37629844
I laughed too hard at this

>be about 14
>middle school
>talk with with the class "genius" about some stuff during break
>he is just a bag of bones,very skinny
>tells me i might die from obesity
>i tell him he might die from malnutrition
>we just go back and forth
>argument ends
>it was pretty obvious he didn't care about my mortality and was just wanted to bother me
>he comes up the stairs
>calls me a fat fuck or some shit like that
>i kick him in both knees (my kicks were strong)
>he bends into submission and says he is sorry

not really a cool story because most of my fight stories are not cool, actually they are pretty dark.

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Robots making up stories about fights that never happened and never will make me cringe just so hard.

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>2nd grade
>some jerk kid in kindergarden calls my brother (same grade) a poophead or something
>see him after school and see him badmouthing some other kids
>go over there and abruptly start beating him to a pulp
>noone notices except my mom who drags me away
4 years later:
>same kid is still a piece of trash, seems to have completely forgotten
>me and some friends are on the monkeybars
>he comes over and grabs my jacket, trying to pull my hoodie over my face
>zipper hits me in the face
>whip off my jacket and use it as a whip, then hoist him up with my hands like vader, slam him against the metal bars, and throw him off (7ish feet)
>looks like he is about to piss himself
>start laughing for some reason
>gives me a terrified look and just runs
>moves a year or two later
No regrets desu, he deserved it. Maybe he's less of a piece of human trash nowadays.

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>about 11
>some annoying roastie from up the road starts hanging out with the rest of the kids in the street
>we don't like her
>one day she brings her friend round
>some big fat older piece of shit
>only the three of us out
>tells the two of us to fight
>i say no way
>the other guys actually starts on me for this dumb whore
>they don't know I do karate
>can throw a pretty mean mawashi geri kick
>kick the shit out of him for a few seconds until he leaves
>adrenaline starts to wear off
>run home and cry

Most of my life i have Been an Outcast and talked trash about behind my back but ive let it be and not bothered with it unless They were open about it.
>The popular dude shittalked me openly with his buds and i went up into his face daring him to say that again and he backed off

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>>37630656
>brother picks up after me and beats a kids head against the floor in kindergarden for cutting him in line
>in 4th grade i verbally taunt this one skinhead, drive him to the point of tears and make him lose all his friends
>in 7th grade he has some new friends and tries to bully me, taunt him since he was so short, ends up crying
>same year, some roastie whore asks me out in a condescending tone, tell her to shove it (i think it was a prank)
>same year, some sweatered chick starts doing the same thing, go into the boys bathroom and start taunting her and saying you cant get me (school had teachers out in the courtyard near lunchroom to stop fights)
cont.

>>37630756
>4nd grade, verbally argue with teacher over who gets to take home an irrelevant science fair project with some chick that may have liked me, she eventually gets to the point of tears
>just tell her fine, you can have it, i didnt even want it
>she starts crying and gives me a look of malice
I also happen to be a manlet KHHV w/out friends since 7th grade, so I'm pretty sure most of this was bad karma. In my defense, most of the kids I bullied were bullies themselves and deserved it.

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>be me 13
>one of the cool kids in the 6th grade
>i was in a few fights before so people know not to fuck with me
>one day after out shitty art class some 8th grader starts fucking with some of my friends saying he's gonna toss them down the stairs (we were on the metal stairs that lead to the first floor)
>all my bros look at me and try to tell the bully off
>he calls me a big fucking ape

i HATE apes

>get mad and tell him not to buck with me though it sounded like fuck to everyone else it made me even madder knowing i fucked up
>decide to skip trying to sound tuff because i already fucked up on that
>grab this kid my the neck and start choking him against a wall
>after a minute i start throwing hard punches all of them connect
>bros cheer me on, i win the fight and go to gym class
>tell the gym teacher
>teacher congratulates me i feel really good
>bros show me the video one took of the fight after class
>normal day after that

i was a cool kid in middle school for the rest of the year.

>>37627407
> having recess in 9th grade

Sounds pretty pussy to me

>hanging out with a Russian-Turkish guy
>he's built like a professional wrestler and looks like a character from GTA IV
>the dude's name is fucking Akram and he has arms the size of tree trunks

>outside a bar in local college town
>some Lebanese guys are looking for fight
>so drunk they decide to mess with Akram

>he throws three punches and knocks each of them out

>police see what happened and come over
>"What happened, buddy?"

>"These motherfucker come to me for fight! I destroy them!"

>"We'll take care of it from here, sir, get home safely"

Dude is fucking terrifying.

He's pretty dumb, so we don't hang out much, but I don't know how insanely drunk you'd have to be to think fighting him is a good idea. We have a large Russian-Turkish community where I live, and most of the guys grew up fighting. They're fucking vicious.

>>37630892
Not eveyone lives in burgerland anon, probably from yurop.

>>37630776
> 4nd grade

wow not original

>>37631006
Last girl that was ever interested in me, had a couple of her friends drag her to me to try to ask me out. No female attention since.

>>37627407
I was 15, I was sitting in my room with my cousin, and I heard my dad screaming my name from downstairs, this was at about 12:15 at night, so I knew I had done something seriously wrong. I slowly made my way downstairs with dread, and when I got down he looked at me seriously and said "get your shoes on". At that point I realised shit had gone down, and so I pulled on my shoes and went outside. As we got out he pointed to these two lads biking away on one bike, and said "see them two lads? go and hit the bigger one". So I gave chase, and I think the adrenaline completely overwhelmed me, because I felt like I was jogging but my old man later relayed that it was actually the fastest sprinting he has ever seen. Anyway I get to the bike, catch them up, nervously say hello, and one of them gets off the bike and comes over, a lad of about 17 (thats why my dad didn't want to hit him, and he knew I was a badass, I had boxed and stuff, and he didn't want to get arrested for beating a child) So anyway I stood there pretending to pant and be out of breath, which I'm not even sure if it is actually the case, but I weighed it up and decided the one who had got off the bike was my target, so I smashed him in the face. I got one punch in and backed off, he started walking away, clearly a bit shocked, and then it was a bit of a weird fight, he spent the whole thing walking away from me slowly as I caught up and punched him again and again in the face. He did try and throw a left hand at me, I guess he was left handed, and I ducked under it and punched him on the side of the head, so he didn't try again. Also weird, he had a little scummy chavvy mate standing there, about 12 or 13, saying how if he would stand and fight me he would batter me, despite me literally battering him there as we went down the street.

continued..

>>37631054 continued obviously

Also embarrassingly I threw a punch and fell over and hit my face on the kerb of the street lol, giving myself a huge black eye. Anyway eventually after I punched him enough he kinda fell back first onto me, so he was lying on top of me, I don't know how the fuck that happened, but I made use of it by sort of rolling him off me sideways and pushing my right hand middle finger as hard into his right eyeball as possible, literally shoving with all my force like I was trying to push his eye into his brain. I stopped that after a bit and got up, he was lying there screaming holding his eye, I went over and said "was it as good for you as it was for me" feeling like a 15 year old badass, and then walked away. My old man took photos of all the people he was out with for evidence, and we walked home. The first thing I asked was "what had he done then". We had been robbed a few times though, and funnily enough we never got robbed again. My dad happened to go out at midnight one night to put the lawn mower away, fearing that someone might nick it, and just happened to catch the young scrote jumping over our fence, and after a small verbal exchange, that was when he came up to get me. Anyway thats one of my fight stories.

>>37627407
Was addicted to heroin for 6 years, I have way to many. Including getting stabbed and shot once each. Good times....