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I am now one of the lord's chosen

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>Be agnostic
>Go to church with mom
>Protestant preacher calling people up, getting insane
>People line up to get god's blessings and start "speaking in tongues"
>I go up
>Pastor is praying over me, usually people start spazzing out and freaking out
>I do nothing and just stand there
>He literally looks in to my eyes, put his hands on my shoulders threateningly and tells me to "loosen up and accept god's spirit" (basically he's telling me to spazz out like everyone else"
>Say "I am lose, this is how I do it."
>He finishes his prayer and slaps me on the head
>All of the sudden gibberish words start coming out of my mouth
>Sounds weirdly like the gibberish everyone else is speaking
>Can now do it at will, feels different than normal talking, just kind of breathe in and exhale and my mouth takes it from there

Wait so If I've been "blessed" like this does this mean I'm basically just going to heaven? Because I have attempted to sell my soul to satan for various dumbass reasons (to win at video games, for food items, etc) when I believed in god as a kid numerous times.

I'm not trying to be an edgelord but even now my heart is basically just a pile of shit and I've reached the point where being an actual "good" person is just about impossible for me. I also live a fairly hedonistic lifestyle so for all intents and purposes I should probably burn after I die.

But... (assuming this whole thing isn't just some placebo mental bullshit) do you guys think the fact that I can now speak the language of the angels means that I'm at least somewhat more immune to damnation than everyone else?

I've done some research and have found some people say that only people who can speak in tongues can get to heaven and there are a lot of people who just fake it to be accepted, etc.

Since I can actually do it that must make me pretty great. Any christfags around that can confirm?
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>asking these questions
You're not there yet. Keep seeking God.
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you one dumb son of a bitch
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>>37625002
I had ro make sure i wasn't on /x/ again
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>>37625274

Real question. Still not trying to be edgy. Without citing eternal life/punishment, why should I seek God? What's the benefit of it in life right now on planet earth? I'm open to it but I don't really see why. He doesn't answer prayers, or give you what you want no matter how much you pray and fast or how much faith you have if he deems your desire to not be in his plan. So really, why waste the time and effort of following him if I've already got a comfy and content life philosophy and healthy human relationships?
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>>37625002
Speaking in tongues is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

However about going to Heaven, if God has chosen you, he will intervene in your life so that you will keep faith. Basically you should give your life over to Jesus, make him the Lord and you the servant of him and just live like this for the rest of your life. Then you will get to Heaven.
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>>37625392
There is no contentness life that is permanent. There is no comfy. There is suffering. And Jesus' "yoke" is light and bearable compared to other stuff. If you follow God you will do what's best for you and others.

Maybe after getting what you thought you wanted and not being any happier will teach you. It taught me. Often reaching your goals will actually make you more miserable because you held a belief that that would change you life somehow. Jesus is the ultimate red pill in that - any wordly pursuit is worthless (unless it's for God). Do not live for this world.
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>>37625392
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+7&version=NIV

Read line 19 and from there.

We are not really free but are bound by flesh. And maybe you will recognise that the stuff you do for flesh doesn't benefit you and you don't actually want to do it.

So you then question - what should I pursue if not fleshy desires? If those leave me in worse condition than I was. Well the answer is God. Do God's will, directly by his command through Holy Spirit or by following his commands and Jesus' instructions which are spread through the Bible.

If you haven't read 2 gospels of your choice and the book of Acts.
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here's a protip you gaylords: God doesn't exist
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>>37625589
That's the most elementary bullshit fucking reason to devote your heart, mind and life to a philosophy of someone else's creation. You dissapoint me r9k. Of course nothing is permanent retard, the fun and beauty in life is revelling in the excitement of change and growing stronger through the pain of loss. Things die, but things are always born. No matter what your hobby is, there is always something new waiting around the corner. If I wanted to run away from the life is suffering boogieman, I'd become a fucking buddhist.

Nobody with half a brain thinks reaching goals will satisfy them. It's the journey, climbing the mountain to reach new heights, forever and ever till your bones give out. Your simpleminded view and desire to hide from the tragic beauty of life behind scripture appalls and absolutely disgusts me
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>>37625701
I hate this life. Until you do too, keep your atheistic faith.
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He actually infected you with a demon.

Your pastor is evil.
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>>37625002
Bullshit. There is a scientific explanation to this phenomena, obviously.
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>>37625738
There are just as many things to love in life as there are to hate. If your faith makes you believe that the physical world is only worthy of hatred, then it is a most pitiable faith you have indeed.

Also, I'm not athiest. I'm agnostic but I make sure to not believe in an afterlife in order to keep the one life I know to be true special, full of meaning, and fulfilled without hesitation. I'm completely willing to give christianity a whirl, and if anyone can give me a good enough reason I will. Your reason was just fucking retarded
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>>37625776
What a useless fucking comment. We all know there's possibly a scientific explanation but if all you have to offer is the most cliche'd athiest rejection there is then neck yourself
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>>37625805
Demonic entities exist and possess people. Recorded incidents have them using names from the Christian lexicon. These demons are used in actual Satanist rituals (not done by the edgy people who think they're rebels against society) Coincidentally, exorcisms from Christian priests last. Since these demons exist and their mortal enemy seems to be Christianity, then that's evidence that it's the one true religion.

Also make sure. if at some point you become Christian again, you can be accepted no matter how shitty you see yourself. This is because of Christ dying on the cross, all sins making people unworthy of going to heaven, and seeking forgiveness in Christ's name, who was punished for never sinning, will bring you salvation. Works will not get you into heaven.
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>>37625972

I really don't give a shit whether or not Christianity is real or not. I've studied the bible. I went to parochial school from kindergarten to the end of highschool.

I can't say anything about heaven. But from what I've learned aned studied, I've come to one conclusion. If hell is real, without a doubt all it is is the absence of God. Oblivion. Nonexistence.

I'm totally fine with that, and I live my life EXPECTING that to be the result when I die, which makes each moment mean more to me.
So my point is..saying that Christianity is the one true faith won't persuade me, because even if it is, nothing's going to change for me

As for possession..you haven't been the only person who's been through some shit. I think it's likely that I've been possessed for years. The boundless hatred and anger I feel.Wanting to claw all the staars from the sky. I am a wretched piece of shit. But I accept that about myself and I love me as a person. And I don't need anyone's love but my own. Occasionally I feel like shit. I feel like I want to rip my own heart out and individually bludgeon each human being to death with it. But Finding christ won't save me from that. No matter what philosophy you follow, your demons are never banished. YOu live above them. They seem to vanish for a time. They rear their head again, and you crush them back down. If you're telling me faith in christ completely annihlates your inner demons then you're a goddamn liar.
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>>37626099
>If hell is real, without a doubt all it is is the absence of God. Oblivion. Nonexistence.
You know full well that the Bible talks about Hell as being the place where people who don't accept God to go for all eternity. From which I hope the humans will eventually be forgiven.
>I'm totally fine with that, and I live my life EXPECTING that to be the result when I die, which makes each moment mean more to me.
Well you've got an option that gives you hope, especially assuming Hell is real.
>So my point is..saying that Christianity is the one true faith won't persuade me, because even if it is, nothing's going to change for me
You don't need to fucking change yourself. You just need to acknowledge the bad things you do and ask for forgiveness for them.
>I am a wretched piece of shit. But I accept that about myself and I love me as a person.
I'm not talking about inner demons aka problems we all have/sin. I'm talking about the actual entities. Your "inner demons" are cast out if you get to heaven.
>If you're telling me faith in christ completely annihlates your inner demons then you're a goddamn liar
No it fucking doesn't but it can help when you have hope for a better life once you're done with this one. And hell, if you don't get the better option, you go to Hell.

Also I feel that you likely have some underlying psychological issue that may stem from abuse or a mental disorder such as depression. Get help if you can, you don't need religion to fix your psyche.
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religious phenomenon is just ur brains subconscious fucking around and our human minds are too spooped to figure it out.
the convulsion and speaking in tongues is literally just a placebo, everyone around you does it and the pastor tells u u should do it so u just kind of do it. i guarantee you could speak in tongues before this, you just didnt because its retarded gibberish.
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>>37626332
Christian here. Basically this. Be skeptical of "miracles" unless they actually do long-term good. "Rituals" like this one are retarded and only serve to increase donations. It's something drenched in greed.
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>>37625002
its all fairy tales. get out now.
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>>37625741
This, never once in the bible did any followers of Jesus practice this sort of craft. People fail to realise
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>>37625002
Christianity doesn't belong in the west
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>>37626638
We don't have wings and we can't cross the sea by swimming. That proves that religions shouldn't be universal. Cultures aren't supposed to mix. Tropic people aren't supposed to experience cold, etc etc.
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>>37626695
>takes on retarded /pol/ argument
>even though the cultures we have today are products of cultures mixing
>the English for example, are mixed from Celtic, French, Norse, and German
Trying to force cultures together with social engineering and open borders is stupid as fuck though. All it causes is stratification and ghettos.
Thread posts: 25
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