"hey man! She's hot, would ya fuck her?"

>>37618423
i think you are just gay.

>>37618423
The only way to deal with banter is to be better at it and only use it in self-defense.
How about
>Do you kiss your momma with that mouth? So she likes it dirty?

>>37618423
Then just tell them, no you wouldn't fuck her, you'd take her out on a pleasent date and have her home in a timely manner before it's too late so things don't out of hand being too wild.

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you're spending your time on a degenerate mongolese tapestry forum. stop pretending you're too virtuous to talk about sex.

>>37618423
Anytime they start talking about stuff like that tell a story about how your dick was deformed in an accident and wish you could still feel attraction like they can.

Here's a tip: quit being a pussy.

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>>37618457
god damn,im getting triggered now. That's exactly how they would respond.

Stop working at a place that employs these kinds of people

>>37618423
I think this is a very good example of a conversation between two guys and how it should go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VpgEHsPc7I

generally, when some guy/girl is talking about an experience/thing they do/did there are 2 ways to go about it

>yeah I love doing X
>really? what makes X so fun to do? it seems boring/original/outlandish/insert any adjective
or
>pretty cool, when i was a kid something tangentially related to X happened to me, i was so freaked out/intrigued/happy. tell me, is X really Y or is it more like Z? I was always curious

the general rule of thumb is whenever someone tells you something ask yourself "who would do that and why?", and then apply that to the conversation.

if a guy likes guns, ask "who would do that and why?" well, if a guy likes guns he's probably conservative, and he likes them because he likes the constitution, or the way they feel while shooting. so how you'd go about continuing the conversation when a guy mentions he likes guns, for example you'd say
>really you like guns? when I was a kid my dad took me shooting and actually holding a rifle while it fires felt amazing, like nothing else in this world. kind of a hard to get into hobby today so I never really got into it, but I always wanted to

then he offers you to go shooting, or tells you another story about guns, or his dad, or whatever, and you keep applying the principal of "who would do that and why"

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>>37618475
I've never been employed by people who weren't those kinds of people.
>>37618449
Maybe he should post a smug anime girl at work, since, as you implied, everything is exactly the same - retard.

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>>37618526
that kind of interaction seems too confusing and stressful for my weak mind

>>37618634
need to learn to walk before you can run anon, need basics upon which you can build a foundation.

if you just reciprocate the banter "yeah brah reminds me of your mom", artificially trying to fit in, your lack of genuineness will show and you'll seem like an autistic spazz lord.

learn what constitutes a conversation and how to take part in it first, and take it from there

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>>37618729
okay, how should I respond to "would ya fuck her?" or "I fucked a girl last night. damn her pussy was tight".

Are you saying I should ask analytical questions like "how did it feel penetrating her" that seems really autistic.

>>37618423
How about be completely honest all the time instead of living a fucking lie?

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>>37618754
lol...

you either shut up or offer a counter experience of your own in that case

Just say you're gay and be done with it.

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>>37618793
im the complete opposite of gay though.

All my gay coworkers talk about sex endlessly. I can't even say the word "penis"

>>37618423
"I don't like to talk about sex at work." - You.

>>37618793
This is the worst fucking advice

What's with normies assuming that if you don't chase girls like you're in heat you must be gay?

>>37618423
Quit job then jump off a bridge

>>37618829
so are you a top or a bottom

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anyway, I'm a lost cause. I'm a weirdo even by /r9k/ standards.

i'm hoping i catch a rare disease and die soon.

>>37618526
Thanks anon habe a you

>>37618423
Pull out a Glock and place it on the table and look at them and say "okay?"

>>37618423
conservative guys love talking about sex. do you mean religious?

deal with it by growing up you faggot.

Don't worry, Anon. I'm the same too. Are you religious by chance? None of my male Christian friends talk like that either. We actually typically don't talk about girls anyways especially since we're all beta virgins.

>>37618829
>don't chase girls
either gay or retarded. retards tend to not have jobs.

>>37619005
Well I'm a socially retarded sperg so that explains that.

>>37618446
im going to use this sometime because holy shit that'd be hilarious and they'd expect that from me

>>37618423
ive never had to deal with any "banter" in any negative way, all i do is
>be /fit/
>do good work
>polite and talkative when others initiate but otherwise don't say much

>>37618423
Tell them that you're christian.

>>37618526
this kind of conversation technique stuff is great, i am a borderline autist and manage to keep my spaghetti in check most of the time but i still find myself having to 'manually' make conversation like this. do you have any more?

>>37618754
>"would ya fuck her?"
>"nah not my type man"
then let them continue asking, if they want, you can just make up that you prefer whatever instead. don't just say blondes or something because then when they see one they'll make a thing of it. alternatively you could say yeah she's fit, or whatever, but it's up to you, personally i don't really like that sort of conversation.

>"I fucked a girl last night. damn her pussy was tight"."
>"bullshit you did. who was she?"
etc. kind of tease them as if they were making it up, don't go overboard though, if they do provide details then ask if she was good looking, if he'll see her again, and congratulate if he seems happy with things, that's how you start to form a bond.

simple stuff anon. you want to balance teasing and bullshitting each other (basically banter) with a bit of actual friendship (congratulating friends when they do well, consoling them when they're upset etc).

>>37618423
avoid the degenerates and get Christian friends. tis what I do.

>tfw no g/f or friends in general

Why do robots assume that guys that talk about sex are weird or liberals?

Me and my mates have conversations like this all the time, we banter about girls and girlfriends - tell stories and give each other tips and the like. It's great bonding time and you're the weird one if you don't like it.

All my mates are conservative as well, but we don't have a problem talking about sex, it's not 1850 anymore.

If someone asks 'would you fuck her' either reply 'not my type' or 'who wouldnt'. Really not hard. If a girl walks past with a nice ass, just say 'she's got a nice ass' or something.

>>37618808
I was exactly the same but I actually was trans

>>37618526
>tfw have no experiences to talk about
>tfw can't get new experiences without making friends by talking about past experiences

I missed the bus, too old to be inexperienced on the bright side at least I'll be dead soon

>>37618465
Its because r9k is a normie board

>>37618451
there you go. I live for awkward situations like saying such a thing would create. is there a name for my relishing in awkward situations? do i have some condition? I absolutely love it when people feel awkward/embarrassed

>>37618423
say

>i'd rather fuck you

>i'm conservative

what does this mean you're a puritan or muslim or soemthing?

society is doomed you can't even protect yourself from the downfall

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> "hey man! She's hot, would ya fuck her?"
I hate this shit.
I hate it so fucking much.

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP NORMIES
STOP FUCKING TALKING ALL THE TIME

>hurr durr look at that objectively attractive woman! Do you, like 99.9% of heterosexual men, also find her attractive?
>What? You do find the objectively attractive woman attractive? What an unexpected and interesting thing to discuss!
>Tell me, would you find it enjoyable to have sex with her?
>Wow! What a coincidence! I too enjoy the feeling of my penis being stimulated!
>Do you agree that ejaculation feels good?

THIS ISN'T FUCKING INTERESTING
JUST SHUT UP
SHUT THE FUCK UP NORMIE

>I'm hungry! Do you know what I want to do when I'm hungry?
>That's right, I like to eat food!
>How good is food!
>Do you also enjoy eating when you are hungry?
>You do? Wow! How interesting!
>You look like a man who enjoys eating food even more when the food tastes very nice. Am I correct!
>Wow! You won't believe this, but I also enjoy food that tastes good!

I want to fucking kill them.
Every fucking day I have to suppress the urge to scream at them, to tell them to shut up.
Why can't they just shut up?

>>37620516
I hope this is bait. You can't be this retarded.
>why do people assume that guys who talk about sex are liberals
Because conservatives traditionally have a more closed, conservative attitude about sex and liberals have a more liberal, open attitude. It's literally in the name you fucking retard. Also in your post, you unironically called someone weird for feeling uncomfortable talking about SEX. GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FUCKING NORMALSCUM, OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT

>>37621560
This, why can't they talk about interesting subjects, like anime or how based Pepe the Frog is?

>>37620516
It's degrading to talk about women and sex so openly. It trivializes sex, why do you think sex is so common in media these days?

>>37621780
>It trivializes sex
>It trivializes the thing that anyone can do that is entirely driven by mindless biological programming
oh no!

>>37621780
it doesn't trivialize sex, you put sex on a pedestal

>>37621802
>>37621811
>hurr its biological and normal!!
So is killing an enemy tribesman or a competing male, but i don't think you fucking normies would try to defend that.

>>37618423
I just bullshit, lie and bluff my way through everyhing. Everyone thinks I'm a pretty normal guy when in reality I'm just a khv robot who is dead inside. After a while, lying comes naturally and you can use it to protect yourself.

>>37621902
Killing is the most natural thing in the world you effeminate low testosterone faggot.

>>37621919
I was really good at this for years until recently some normie at work exposed me as a liar.

>>37618423
You mean "cuckservative"?

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>yeah maybe if she had a big meaty cock amirite

>>37621988
Story?

Fhhdf

>>37621978
You are very stupid and you can't even see it.
Read his post again, realize you're just proving his point further by acting like an internet tough guy, and feel bad.

>>37618423
this happened to me at my old job when I was being nice to a girl and was in a good mood for once. then these redneck faggots who i never talk to were asking me if i like her. was extremely awkward. I quit that day.

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>>37622025
>like oh my gawd your toxic masculinity is NOT OKAY alright???
kys

>>37621657
Why can't they just not fucking talk at all?

Just say something heinously raunchy like "aw yeah i'd shit in 'er cunt anyday" and theyll leave you alone

It's a yes/no question. I don't see how it's that hard of a problem.

The problem is when they start talking about chicks with dicks and I have to avert my eyes and pretend to watch TV so they don't realize my powerlevel. Happened during lunch break one day...

>>37622058
>omg stfu beta pussy male im a big strong alpha chad
no u

>>37621560
If they're talking about sex and food, they clearly don't know each other well enough to have other topics they know everyone is acquainted with.

You can try action movies/shows as a topic (fight club, pulp fiction, most other Tarantino movies, breaking bad, black mirror). Politics, lifting, cars, and sports are also good topics to discuss.

>>37618442
That is so autistic, I'm cracking up just thinking about someone saying that.

>>37618423
>conservative
>doesn't like to talk about sex
pick one buddy

>>37618526
Wtf I was blind and now I see

>>37622379
That's the point of banter: devolving the conversation and making the other person laugh so that you can get back to educated discourse. My usual 1-2 punch is using a pun, and then either laughing with them if they get it or explaining it slowly if they don't.
Maybe you'll understand after you've had practice holding a civilized conversation.

>>37618423
>I'm a conservative guy who doesn't like to talk about sex.

Because you'll never experience it?

In those situations I use my ability to be nitpicky about stuff and say "well maybe but her forehead is big so...". It usually makes people laugh, if they follow up then i bring up chinese cartoons and eventually avoid the conversation while not creating any suspicions of being gay

>>37618423
>"Damn sure, she's fucking fine."
Here

>>37618423
"Why would I want to embarrass us both like that?"
I'm usually very blunt in the fact that I do not and will not ever pursue a woman.

>>37618423
"yeah dude, I would totally give her my big bone"
>start mashing my hands together

>>37618423
Then don't participate, in the end all a man has is his principles, if you give those up, then what's left?

>>37621575
>>37621811
fucking gaylords detected

dudes post was 100% normal for the real world, yall some gay bois

>>37625085
>in the end all a man has is his principles
fucking bullshit
you got actions, not principles

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A few weeks ago these girls came into my workplace, looked like teenagers one was very pretty with a sweater on and the other was meh with a tank top.

After they left the guy I was working with was all, "Dude did you see that girl's nipples?!? They were hanging out and everything!!!!!" I was like nah mang didn't see 'em wasn't looking that hard (though I wish I had after the fact). He replied, "That's how you know u gay" and the bossman laughed. Bossman proceeds to talk about someone else's camel toe a few minutes later.

Fuck guys, I'm lucky enough to have a gf and they do too. But while I do take more than a half second glance at the more attractive women types, I'm not sittin' around drooling with my dick swanging at any grill who strolls in the door. Control yourselves goddamn