Cutting myself again. Just feel really messed up in the head.

I can't do this anymore, he was my best friend but he never gave a damn about me. I don't know why I love him but I can't live with him and I can't live without him. My leg hurts so bad.

Alcohol will numb the pain, that or weed. You should talk to a therapist, I can't say much though, I've been using drugs and alcohol to deal with personal problems for the past 6 years

>>37594638
shoot yourself like a man

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>sample

You really should fucking kill yourself, you retarded faggot.

>>37594895
Whenever I read posts about this a small part of me hope it's referring to me, regardless of the minimal chance the person I'm thinking of would ever even feel awful for not talking to me anymore.

Nor would they ever say anything about loving me again.

But my point is not for anyone to feel pity for me, the opposite. Think about how awful that is.
"For a moment I wished the individual who occupied my thoughts harmed themselves due to me not being there."

Thoughts like this make me even more determined to end my life.

>>37594638
Tumblrinas have ruined cutting for me, I prefer alcohol.

>>37594638
Try binding yourself if you don't want to cut but still want to feel bad

>>37595497
I dont do it to feel bad, it makes me feel better I think.

go to bed, cindy

>>37595517
So do you even want to stop cutting or is it just that you think you should?

>>37595631
I know it's bad to do but I don't want to stop and I think I should do it. Is that weird?

try cutting your neck instead of your legs you fucking loser

Tell us more about this best friend of yours and the ways he wrones you, OP

>>37595683
Not weird for cutters I suppose, I tried it a couple but never got anything out of it, I guess you guys are like addicts though.

This guy did he know you cut?

>>37595799
Obsessed with someone who hates him, neglects his friends who just want to help him. I could write a book on it but I've gone over it so many times I don't feel like rehashing it.

>>37595818
Yes, I only cut once while I knew him, near the end of our friendship, and today I cut again after we stopped being friends.

>>37595856
have you tried fucking him?

>>37595856
use alcohol like a normal person idiot

>>37595896
No, I only know him online.
>>37595899
Hmm, you sound like my friend, but no, I live in a no-alcohol house and would probably be kicked out if I got caught.

>>37594638
Sorry you feel bad, OP. I wish I could help you out. I hope posting on /r9k/ makes you feel better.

>>37595856
You knew him a long time? Did you not cut because of him?

Either way you guys don't sound like a couple, so whats the deal?

>>37595856
For a second I thought I was the person you were talking about, but I started neglecting everyone a while ago.

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>>37595915
work out and read a book, cutting is incredibly degenerate and attention seeking behavior

>captcha
KEK

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>>37594895
I rel8 but genders switched. She keeps me at arms length and leads me on until she realized I might actually make a move then let's me go again owwwww.

>>37595915
do you live in australia, per chance?

>>37595936
Yeah I knew him for a pretty long time as far as internet friendships go. I didn't cut back then because I didn't want to, didn't feel like I had a reason to. The only reason I cut now is because of him.

>>37595936
>>37595955
Whoops sorry, didn't finish answering. I wanted us to be a couple but it just didn't work out. I'm just really really into him for some reason, maybe borderline obsessed. It's really sick.

>>37595954
Sorry, USA.

>>37595271
Fucking this. Everytime I see these I'm looking for some clue that it's someone from my area that I know.

>>37595970
What state?
Not asking for the stupid hookup meme, I just want to make sure I don't know you.

>>37595970
guess you're not who I was thinking of then. which is good I guess, thought the OP posts might have been about me since I'm currently in the middle of neglecting some girl with BPD who obsesses over me and cuts herself

>>37596006
Washington

washingtonblox

>>37596006
my money is on a west coast degenerate desu

>>37596011
Nope, I'm a guy anyways.

>>37595970
What did you like about him? Do you think he'd care if he knew you were cutting now?

Is he US? I mean did you have an actual chance of becoming a real couple?

>>37596021
If the answer was just "west coast" then I'd be 100% concerned.

>>37596020
Thankfully I don't know anyone in Washington. Take it from someone who's doing exactly what this guy is doing to you and the rest of his friends; we're not worth it. We're not savable, there's nothing you can do for us, as much as you'd like to.

The only thing that can possibly go "right" for us in our eyes is if our object of obsession would just suddenly change their mind and decide we were the greatest person ever. The reason I personally cut everyone off is because I recognize all of these things about myself, and I refuse to let my bullshit bring anyone else down. I won't allow myself to just be like this forever, either, and hopefully I'll go through with my suicide plan in a few months.

>>37596060
When he's acting normal he's a really sweet person who is fun to be around. I know his heart is good but his mental illnesses rule over him a lot of the time.

I think he would care if he knew. Maybe that's why I'm doing it and making this thread to see if he sees and cares, I'm not sure. Being with him is bad for me when he's sick like this but it hurts so bad not seeing him anymore. When I cut the first time I told him and he said he was crying because of the hurt I was in.

He is in the US but he's underage and can't drive. I wouldn't want to be with someone as emotionally unstable as him anymore but if he could become normal again I would like that.

>>37596083
I'm really sorry you feel that way anon, I can't imagine how much it hurts you, but it's good that you recognize your problems, at least you aren't hurting everyone around you.

>>37596083
what a waste of a perfectly reasonable person

it's so rare to find someone in this situation who doesn't wallow in self-pity

>>37596129
I think you might be putting too much stock in me, Anon.

You cunts itt are mentally ill
seek help

>>37596083
Would you really want someone you love to believe you're perfect even if you were the one saying you weren't?

The best thing I think you could hope for is someone who accepts you aren't perfect and will make mistakes but still sticks with you despite the pain and wants to help you get better, or am I wrong?

>>37596164
My basic point is that I've deluded and fucked my brain over into being useless when it comes to accepting help unless this one, single human being decides I'm worth their time again.

It's fucking pathetic, but like another Anon said, at least I recognize it I suppose.

>>37596115
>underage

jesus christ

just jack off and play videogames for a couple years and you'll be 100% over it

>>37596164
it doesn't matter either way. you think it's easy to cut off a relationship? life sucks, and the fact is that only 1% of friends or lovers are ever going to have a relationship in equilibrium. eventually, the little things pile up and it no matter how hard you both try your relationship loses its balance and everything comes tumbling down. the only way to avoid it is to not put any weight on the scales; don't invest to heavily in any relationship you have or you will ruin it.

>>37596148
the bar is pretty low on this website. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

>>37595271
I have the same sentiment. It's a beautiful thing from another perspective. Kind of a poetic ending, but it would never be about myself.

I always yearn for it to be, and I can't control that. But if it truly was about me, I wish they'd just reach out to me. No matter what I'd said before, it's the past now.

But that call never comes. I'll never know; all I can say is I tried to bridge things after the years, and it didn't work. It's strange how humans interact.

>>37594638
Pic or didn't cut

>>37596329
this desu familiatachi

>>37596115
So did you end it?

>>37596426
What? No, I didn't say anything about killing myself.

>>37596434
The friendship you big silly

>>37596434
U gonna send pics?

>>37596483
Oh, sorry, my head is all messed up right now, but yes I ended the friendship.
>>37596486
No. It's probably not very impressive and that sounds like attention whoring

>>37596501
I don't care i just wanna see

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>>37596501
>>37596522
digits demand it
show us your disgusting cut marks faggot

>>37596522
No, you'll laugh at me.

>>37596552
you can amuse someone for once anon just do it

>>37596552
C'mon just make my suicidal morning a little better

>>37596552
Anon you seem like a very careful and pure sort.
I do not expect you, nor will I ask you to give me a means of contact but being your friend must be nice.

>>37596590
I try to be a good friend and stuff but I get lonely a lot even though I have other friends. I'm just sad and miserable and pathetic and stuff. Sorry.

What causes someone to start cutting?
I've felt so low and almost OD'd before, but I've never even thought about cutting myself. What is the big stigma with it that makes it so good when shit in your life is so fucked?

>>37596552
You could always post your boipucci instead, unless you think we'd laugh at that.

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keep from cutting yourself,
out there is a friend
like you, anon

>>37594638
don't cut yourself 432

>>37594638
>cutting myself again
just cut deeper you goddamn faggot. stop attention whoring and do it. if you have to make a scene to get attention, well, it will never get better for you. you might as well just kill yourself. save yourself from the lifetime of embarrassment that is, YOU

>>37596793
its incredibly distracting and if you hate yourself its very self deprecating

i cut sometimes too when i hate myself a lot
>>37595085
i wanna fucking quit drugs including coffee (and video games probably) im such a fucked addiction magnet. heroin episode was fricked

i dont even go on this emo board i just came here for keks. if you are serious about a change, simply take a walk when you wake up, it's stepping stones.

stop eating burgers and french fries.

simple exercise and diet will change your mindset.

You literally have no idea how good you can feel if you change your habits little by little.

in a matter of weeks to a month you can be on the path to a better life (you only get one by the way)