Virginity remains intact

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>20something NEET cyborg virgin
>somehow manage to travel to foregin country for few days
>time to experiment with some lewd stuff like online hookups
>search around a bit, find a babe who is not completely against the idea of us having sex
>early 30s 7/10 about as chubby as me
>I'm desperate enough, I'll take it
>she barely knows english words, use translation app to communicate with her in her language
>arrange meeting very close to where she lives
>oshitdisgonbgud.xml
>come to the place, she is nowhere to be seen
>did I just get goofed and am about to have my internal organs harvested?
>get text saying "siad adsfd wergweg wegrew asfe"
>use translation app
>"come to my door, I will open it"
>ok, now I am getting either laid or murdered
>it's worth the risk
>go to door, she opens, I get in.
>mfw 3/10 landwhale
>mfw bitch was wearing nearly 6 layers of photoshop in her profile pic
>ok, anon, think, how do I get out of this
>I am not 30 something landwhale, I can outrun her
>try to open door
>door locked itself
>o shit
>o shit I will have to fuck a landwhale to save my life
>stay there for few seconds, brain BSOD'd
>"asdafe asdfasfd joijoewr fsduhewn"
>I can't understand shit
>idea_that_might_just_work.php
>use sign language that I can use phone to translate shit she is saying
>sign language that I have to be outside for that to work
>she falls for it, opens the door
>calmly walk out, still acting as if I will be back in a minute
>second later I am running at speed that sanic would be jelous of
>mfw I am free
>mfw I don't have to fuck a 3/10 landwhale
>mfw my virginity is protected once more

I am not that desperate yet.
How many of you robots yould have done it?