Psychological Issues #72

Side games:

1. guess what my mother sent me in an envelope
2. she contacted me today, guess what she said/did

You won't find out, but past 100 posts, I'll tell at least one of these.

Boy am I glad to see this thread. I didn't have time to attend for the last few days because of some work shit I made myself do.

How is everyone doing?

>>37583572
Some kind of picture? That'd be my guess. Either some of your family or maybe one of your LO with you?

>>37583601

Number 2 has indeed a picture attached to it.

>>37583610
Oh man. I'd guess she was trying to blackmail you emotionally and the picture was something to give the emotional blackmail more weight? Maybe eh, god dammit I don't know what exactly. Suicide attempt on her side?

>>37583655

Nah, none of that.

>>37583719
Eh, fuck me. Maybe I'm thinking too dark about this.

Was it by any chance your birthday? Maybe she sent you a birthday card?

>>37583760

Hell no.

Let's talk about you. Sup?

>>37583834
I spent the last three days doing presentations to customers and generally being a kind of salesman all day long. This is something I really hate, but I made myself do it. I guess it's my borderline. A sofisticated way to self-harm by putting myself in situations I'm very uncomfortable with. On the other hand, it's good experience I guess. And some of the hostesses were very attractive (and since they get payed to be pleasant, they even smiled at me).

Also, my colleague just called, we're gonna go grab some beers. I'm not gonna go overboard. Hopefully I'll be back in a couple hours to read what your mother sent you. I kinda hope it's nothing freaky but at the same time I think it's gonna be something freaky.

>>37583962
>(and since they get payed to be pleasant, they even smiled at me).

Stop assuming the only reason women smile to you is because they're hired whores.

As to my mother, one is underwhelming but still creepy, the other is creepy and violating. It's all normal to her, though.

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Hey, Atlas! Too busy sucking up pig slop to check in on the thread? Makes sense, since your mom is a sow too but the only slop she sucks up is mine! From my dick, I mean! Yeee boiii

Life sucks still for me, still a khv, and still too shy to talk to anyone outside of World of Warcraft, even then I only talk to people if I have absolutely no choice.

On a side note that isn't about me, how are y'all holding up?

>>37584045
I can't even guess.

>>37584225

86 more posts and you'll know.

A lock of your hair or a photo of you sleeping

>>37584288

She managed to find something more intimate than that.

>>37584325
Surely not a jizz tissue, underwear or a condom?

>>37584240
A family photo with your face scratched out?

>>37584341

No. It's more violating than that. Completely normal to her, though. She reminds me of your mother, in that.

>>37584349

No. It always needs to be something she can sound like one of the good guys, while doing something really shitty. Nothing too obvious.

>>37584372
I'm really struggling to think of what it could be. Your porn? A diary/ love letter?

Why are some of us addicted to this board? Why do we crave social interaction here but not elsewhere? Why do we choose to not face reality and escape instead of working on ourselves? Why do we fear change? Why am I so anxious all the time? Why can't I get those negative thoughts out of my head?

>>37584395

It's one of these.

Good job.

>>37584406
Because you do not want to. They are comfortable. These thoughts.

>>37584413
Do I get my wish then? I'm guessing diary.

>>37584406
>Why are some of us addicted to this board?

It gives you social interaction.

>Why do we crave social interaction here but not elsewhere?

Because here you have time to prepare your little post, think about it, post. Nothing is in real time, it's by turn. You're never directly exposed. You control your output. You're safe here, so you can beee yourself.

>Why do we choose to not face reality and escape instead of working on ourselves?

Because it's easier in the short term. That said, being here means you're working on yourself.

>Why do we fear change?

Change is perceived loss of control, loss of references and landmarks. Novelty is always a challenge, so unless you're secure, it's fearsome.

>Why am I so anxious all the time?

Probably C-PTSD.

>Why can't I get those negative thoughts out of my head?

Probably depression.

>>37583572

She sent you a picture of your house or apt.

You went no-contact but she found out where you live. The mailing proves she knows your address, the photo proves she's been there.

>>37584472

A paragraph asking if my father raped me, followed by a picture of my fucking diary from over 15 years ago. The whore read the whole thing.

When I burglarised my own bedroom, I thought I had taken everything, precisely so they'd not be able to use it against me. Must have missed one.

I told her she shouldn't have read it. Know what the bitch cunt said?

"You shouldn't have left it."

Am I fucking dreaming?

>>37584546

Very Lost Highway, but far above what any of my parents could do.

She knows where I live, I haven't moved in 4 years.

>>37584550
Had the same thing happen to me once. It's why I'll never again keep a diary. Too much of a liability. Not my parents though.

"Do you still sleep with [the father of my best friend when I was 10]?"

"I do what I want with my ass."

Classy, mom, real classy. Saying this shit does two things: she doesn't actually say yes, so she can, in her mind, later, say she never admitted anything, and secondly, she's trying to be crass so I'm taken aback or something.

According to various versions, my "father" wanted to get cucked; according to others, and in my opinion, she just cucked him, while he was there. Some say he got off on that and she didn't like it, but I doubt she'd have done it without liking it. Either way, it makes me want to puke.

>>37584550
That's rough. Side note, how did you ever find yourself worth enough to write about? I tried a long time ago but didn't make it past 3 pages so I burned it all.

>>37584767
I'm actually surprised that your family sound so trashy. I imagined that they were refined scumbags.

>>37584808

I spent evenings doing that. In my mind, I was taking notes. Now my diary is taken hostage.

They want the key to their house back, because I have a copy. I'm going to bargain: send the diary first, get the key later.

I'll break the key before I send it.

Diary read, key broken.

>>37584910
Very petty behaviour. You're better than that.

>>37584833

My parents are low class idiots. The wealth they have comes from my grandfather, whose vineyards and double house they sold. My grandfather was fairly rich.

Have a quote from my mother, the kind you're not sure if you should laugh or cry.

Asked about who Anne Frank was:

"She was a girl who did nothing but complain."

>>37584910
That make me glad to have destroyed my diary for good, i don't know how my family could react to the suicidal tough of a teenager. Probably bad.
On this matter, how would you react if you find an old suicide letter from one your brother, in his diary but open? Asking forna friend, of couse..

>>37584917
>Very petty behaviour

Petty? How else do you suggest I get my diary back?

I'm not getting my privacy back. I've been violated enough.

Breaking the key makes no difference, as I suspect they want it back because they're going to sell the house.

>>37584960
>On this matter, how would you react if you find an old suicide letter from one your brother, in his diary but open? Asking forna friend, of couse..

If it was open, it may be a cry for help. Talk about it.

>>37584977
If it makes no difference then don't do it.

>>37584910
Sounds appropriate. Better question is why they didn't simply change the lock(s)?

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>>37584940
Classy.
This comment has origami hence is original

>>37585009

If they get all the keys back, they won't have to change the locks. It costs less, which is a huge reason for them.

>>37584983
We are talking about some time ago, that's why i don't really know what to do. Also, me and my brother don't have the best relationship (we tolerate our presence and ignore each other. Yes is sad, but i tried to make things better and he apparently doesn't want to have a deeper relationship)

While my mother misunderstood a metaphor using rape/violation, the fact that she imagines my father capable of actual rape on me is just disturbing in itself.

>>37585064

Maybe mention it to someone else who is closer.

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I got a lot of problems

been living in the same house for the last 30 years still lives with parents
I have 2 brothers 1 of which has already flown the nest the other the younger of the 2 never had a job in his fucking life

also my dad is sick due to the NHS fucking up
I got a job and I have a claim on a work related accident due soon

my problem is do I use that to buy my own place or do I do up the family home at a price of my own future

>>37585077
So our parents/ relatibe, because i know absolutely nothing about his life. Although i want to find the actual note before risking to destroy the family. Is there any way to tell if it's only something he did because he was stressed and then forgotten about? Like some other details i should look into if he really is suicidal?

>>37585160

Since you're not close, what's there to lose if you mention it to him?

>>37585121
...Leave. It will do good for you and you may be able to help your father from a better standing point.

>>37585209
That we still live together with our parents, and i don't know if he will sperg out. Also, i DO care about him, even if it's frustrating having a conversation with a person who ignore you most of the time you don't talk about the 2 thing he likes.
Lastly, i'm simply afraid of not knowing how it will go, and to sperg out and do more damage if he's actually suicidal (which i doubt, but i'm not rational for what i cannot control)

Only an hour left before voting ends. Should have put a bet on it, even expecting to lose.

I'm furious. Should I storm their house to get my diary back? Should I ask for it?

Fuck the game, the envelope she sent contained my mail, opened. I used to give money to a charity that bought wheelchairs for handicapped people. I never changed my address so the mail still goes there.

Why would she open even that? Why would she send it to me without a word? Why not send my fucking diary along?

For fuck's sake.

Fuck it, Mary is my new mother. Hail Mary, full of grace.

>>37585379
What are youtalking about Facet?

>>37585379
>>37585413
Corbyn vs May I guess

>>37585410
That's not a good idea. Too much legal bullshit when they come after you.

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>>37583554
I was happier before I before I discovered the HBD sphere and became a race realist. Learning how dumb blacks (and other dark races) are on average has kinda ruined my ability to just see people as people. I now feel pity that wasn't there before, and cynicism and disdain at the same time. I want to respect everyone equally but science won't let me and it's kind of a bummer.

Additionally, I am starting to realize how much tribalism there is in the world and that people who behave as individualists are at a great disadvantage relative to those acting as a tribe. I was looking at the Twitter account of a black feminist earlier today and it was off putting, to say the least. She does everything in her power to constantly disparage white people in general and white men in particular. And anyone who argues against this racist and sexist bullshit is obviously marginalized as a racist/sexist/every other ist. At the same time, she'll randomly retweet any positive thing about a black woman (for instance, Venus Williams winning a tennis tournament, even though this obese black bull dyke is obviously not a sports fan) while of course retweeting random bullshit about Hilary Clinton owning slaves. In short, I was filled with disgust at how fucking close minded this bigoted cunt is. But at the same time, I felt the visceral urge to push back against this simply by countering her tribal behavior with my own tribal behavior (e.g., literally never sharing a news story that shows blacks in a positive light, always showering praise on white athletes/politicians, etc) since I realize now that as a straight white man, I belong to a tribe whether I like it or not.

Sorry for the rambling blog. I guess my woes can be summarized as "I am becoming more racist and sexist (read: tribal) in response to the naked tribalism of others. And I was happier being an individualist."

>>37585427
>>37585413
This is correct. The British General Election.

>>37585410
Might be a sign that you should check that nothing else is being sent there.

>>37585449

Not sure what they could do. I have a key: I go, I come in, I demand to have my diary, and I leave.

>>37585410
She need the dairy for whatever reason (blackmail you, probably) and she simply found nothing to use in the mail.
I won't sperge, as >>37585449 says, to much legal bullish.

>>37585511
They can kick up a legal storm where they demanded the key back. Can even claim you stole it and broke in. Best to do this at a distance.
>>37585464
Oh ok. Who would your money have been on?

>>37585568
I expect the Tories to win, but I would like Corbyn to. I don't agree with everything that he has to say - too peaceful - but he seems a good egg and he's for the NHS, workers, students and NEETs so he's the clear choice. He also seems to be anti-globalist which is a point in his favour if true.

>>37585667
>I don't agree with everything that he has to say
Sounds like every politician ever.

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>>37585410
Nick, sometimes its better to let go.

I know what i say wont affect your actions and it means jack shit to both of us.

By all means, give em hell.
Take what's yours if it's important to you.
Just keep us update and don't get thrown in jail ffs.

To go Hotline Miami on your parents or not to go Hotline Miami on your parents, that is the question.

>>37585729
Sure. Still, when the thing I disagree with is not nuking everyone I can hardly call him a cunt over it as opposed to the things I disagree on the other side, which is internet censorship and fucking over the disabled, the homeless and the mentally ill.

>>37585746

It'd be easier to let go if they didn't have constant access to my diary. This makes me rage. I was so sure I got all of them. Where the fuck could it have been?

Goddam.

>>37585802
Maybe they found it before your burglarization. This assuming they are so manipulative to the point she assumed she could need it later. And i really hope for you is not like this, but after reading some of the comments in this thread i'm not so sure if you can always hope for the parents to be actual parents

>>37585878

I considered that. It's possible, because I have no idea where else my diary could have been.

When I moved out, I told them not to touch anything, I wanted to remove the last things of my room on my own. I had lived there for 19 years.

Sure enough, the next time I came by, they had repainted the walls, removed everything, added new furniture, changed the knobs on the closets, etc. The wall is now dark violet when it used to be white, but the other wall remains white. It's pretty nasty. No respect.

My therapist knows when I'm doing well or badly. It's uncanny. I've been doing better in general, but my mother wrote an hour before my appointment, so it changed my mood, and my therapist saw it instantly.

She thinks my rising anger at most people is a good sign.

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>>37585942
Just for teh lulz, are we talking about a ral4006 dark violet (sketchy but personally i like the color) or a i want this room to be dark as hell ral4007?
Seriously though, sorry to hear that, they could at least allow you to do what you wanted with you stuff, even if it's in their house. And that's the bare minimum of courtesy.

>>37585985
Anger is healthier than sadness.

>>37586062
>dark as hell ral4007?

This.

>>37586082
>Anger is healthier than sadness.

Holding a metal baseball bat is healthier with both hands, healthier than holding it from the other side, with the teeth, at full batting speed.

Motherfuckers.

>>37586153
Kek irl, your mother must really hate that room. Or she has really terrible taste (this seems almost certain considering the quote on Anne Frank)

>>37586382

I'm not even sure she's aware of anything. My parents are not human.

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This is my new imaginary mother. It's Mary, but with badass scars. Polish people go crazy over that painting, even copies of that painting.

"Wanna know how I got those scars?"

A soldier struck her with a sword, and, so the legend goes, he was struck by lightning and died.

The most badass Mary around. I still have a wooden reproduction of it in my apartment, leftover from LO.

>>37586441
So... you are not human either?
I think i'm joking to much, sorry if i sounds insensitive, i probably just trying to distract myself from the fact that I'm scared about tomorrow. I want to start running, maybe it will help maintaining my non totally depressed mood, but the fact i should do it outside with people looking does feel great.

>>37586153
What are you trying to say here Nick?

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>>37586558
Here's my imaginary mummy.

Anyway, exit polls suggest a hung parliament. May called it hoping to legitimize rule but seems to have exposed herself as a vile, careerist reptile.

>>37586625
>So... you are not human either?

Oddly enough, I came out more human than humans. I have never met my biological father, so I don't know how he was. And everything I know about my origins might be a lie.

There's something that I am that doesn't come from who they are or how they raised me. Something untouchable, truly me, and that they can never win against.

They've all lost. I wasn't defeated. I'm improving in every way. I'm impressed by my own physical progress, and I'll switch gears this summer. Also getting yet another degree and a new job in a few years. The progress will be blinding.

Don't ask me how I came out of hell an angel. I don't have a clue.

>>37586685

Was thinking about batting my parents in the face.

It's my go-to thought when I hate someone. It makes me feel for them and so I hate them less. It doesn't work with my parents. I just get grossed out and feel for the bat.

>>37586686
>Anyway, exit polls suggest a hung parliament

That's how I roll. I'm hung too. Never trust a short-dicked parliament or any other kind of political entity. Big cocks don't lie.

>>37584152
Just to tell you I usually see it, but Im mostly just lurking now

>>37587035
Forgot name, sorry

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>>37586736
>spoiler
Ha. I used to have violent daydreams like that, until my depression hit me like a truck on my18th birthday.

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>>37587063
Ok then, the effort feels less futile. I will keep saying sentences.

Just got microbanned from /pol/ because of banter. What a shambles.

Anyone still awake?

I have some confusing feelings about my mom. She makes me cringe with everything that she does. You know how people with really low self-esteem can be really annoying and irritating, when they're desperate for your attention or approval they can be the most annoying fucks in the world. That's kind of like my mom.

I feel bad for feeling this way, I also feel quite sad when I think about the way she is. She is a bit of a nervous wreck and she doesn't quite realise it.

Anyone know what I mean?

>>37588208
>Anyone know what I mean?
Not really. But it makes sense.

>>37588208
I'm still here, just following the election.

I know what it means to have a weak mother but that's the best I can do for you.