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While walking home from work 1-2 hours ago I met this female human that works in the cantina where I work. Talked for a few minutes, and ofc I spilled spaghetti all over the place.
No loss, though, because mid-sentence she mentioned a buddy of hers.
My dick instantly retracted at the moment my brain cognized that, but not after it had vacuumed back up every molecule of premature ejaculate that I had creamed all over my panties the moment I made eye contact with her, 20 feet away, before the conversation started.
Besides, her earlobes weren't really that nicely shaped, so I'm way better off having my extremely potent wizard powers intact at the proud age of 33. Crisis averted, bros.
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>>37581256
I wonder how you guys always manage to actually spill spaghetti
I mean I always think about trying to take some with me but it just never happens
Do you guys like cook it once a week and then keep small stashes on you and then whenever a situation accurs you throw it on the ground?
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OP here.
I mean, after all, why even bother with wasting my time if other males have seen her or conversed with her before.
Fucking roastie whores.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>37581256
Exquisite post, excellent work.
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OP here again with a another story that happened two-three weeks ago:
>had to take the bus to a daycourse that took about an hour or two
>during the trip this 14-15 y old girl (I'm 33) got aboard and sat next to me
>ofc, I fell deeply in love immediately without even knowing a single thing about her or having even had a good look at her
>anyways, my magical aura of arcane power and mystical forces probably was detected by her, and so at the next stop she looked back and then quickly got up and sat further back
THE FUCK?! Why sit next to me in a rather empty bus and signal that she want my penis inside her only to cruelly wreck my whole existence a few minutes later by getting the fuck away from me with what I imagine was a cross between a stinkface and mocking laughter on her mug. She probably told her friends later and they laughed hysterically at me together afterwards. Hell, I be they do this all the time just because they are such evil cunts that live to torture, belittle and viciously ignore all non-Chads.
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>>37581636
dude... seek help man
you shouldnt be allowed to take the bus
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AND OP here again
clearly my stories aren't that interesting, but fuck that
>another day I was walking home and I saw this 10-11 y old super cutie coming down a hill on a scoot
>stared at her, she saw, I continue to stare, she noticed again
>I got home but went out for a walk right after, back down to where I saw her
>this is close to shore, walk there and sit down on bench
>notice the same girl and a friend are sunbathing and about to go out to swim, and ofc they wear cutie swimwear
>I whip out my super s8+ and take ultra pictures with zoom when their backs are toward me and are about to go out for a swim
>do nothing and go home soon after
I've fantasized about her for weeks now, playing over fantasies in my mind where we have fun, make love, marry, have kids and then live happily ever after. Me (33) fantasizes about falling in love with and marrying a 10 y old girl.
>>37581700
why? wtf is your problem? I haven't done anything, and certainly nothing illegal
last time I checked, it wasn't illegal to have thoughts
if anyone has done anything wrong, it's the roasties, man. fucking roasties...
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>>37581798
I like them anon, Ignore that bully!
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>>37581857
tnx, anon! I love it when others post stories, whether humorous/heartfelt, so thought I'd contribute with what meagre shit I had
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anyone else got originally nally stories?
Thread posts: 10
Thread images: 8
Thread images: 8