ITT: Autistic things you've said to a girl.

>>37532106
I'm sure I have plenty, but mercifully I can't recall a single one of them.

>2014
>bored in class.
>In a group, Stacey is there.
>Feeling energetic and enthusiastic
>start mumbling a song I am listening to
>"ca-cash-rule-everythin-round-me-CREAM! Get-da-money....Dolladollabillyall..."
>I glance over and see Stacey staring at me with the most wtf face ever.
>Start blushing in embarrassment and try and explain to her that I was listening to a song and end up making it even more awkward.

>>37532157
Is this a Death Grips song?

>>37532177
>Is this a Death Grips song?
is this bait? how can you not fuck wit wu tang clan

>>37532106
>at subway, talking to girl working with me while making sandwiches, in college
>she gives me her number and starts flirting
>i flirt back
>i start thinking of random shit
>"you ever think about fucking a sandwhich you've made? like, a real good one?"
i was fired the next day and she blocked my number

>>37532106
>so hey you wanna go out with me
>ummh y-yeah sure anon, but not this Saturday, my sister is in hospital
>my condolences
>FUCK YOU, IT"S OFF
had my chance, blew it :(

>>37532204
My knowledge is incomplete and quite frankly embarrasing

>>37532219
That's fucking hilarious.

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>>37532219
see this would have been okay to say AFTER you knew her well. normies love their le randomness, but you have to make them think you are a normie first, then you can talk about fucking sandwiches or getting fucked by a sandwich! its all about timing with those normal bastards.

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>>37532106
>be at community college
>Go Sea Hawks
>See girl I know from high school, real qt with blonde hair, tan skin, and big personality :v)
>have to take a piss, but carrying my blanket I brought to school (I get cold easy), don't want to get it dirty in bathroom
>Iknowwhattodo.jpg
>walk up to her
>"Hi, don't I know you from Blank?"
>confused look, "oh-hey, yeah anon. How're you? What've you been up to since high school?"
>"nothing much, just here at community college. Can you watch my blanket really fast?"
>"Oh sure thing."
>go to restroom.
>think about how she is holding my blanket and keeping it safe.
>piss.wav
>wash hands, but don't grab paper towel because don't have time. Blanket is waiting for me.
>go back outside where she is sitting
>tell her thanks and shake her hand
>mfw (and her face) I didn't dry my hand off properly and is still uncomfortably wet
>"Sorry just used the bathroom"
>says that's okay
>grab blanket from her "Well see ya!"
>I turn and walk away with a smile on my face

Never saw her again. But that's okay.

>>37532334
i wasnt even trying to do anything with that comment. it just came into my head man.

>>37532365
thats because people like us arent like them. but we can study them and learn their ways. kind of like those zookeepers that dress as pandas to interact with them. except pandas are way better than normie scum

>be me at someone's birthday
>a boring family party basically
>I have irritable bowel syndrome so I can't eat a shit ton of food types
>I don't eat anything from the table because it would kill me (not literally)
>Cousin's girlfriend asks me: "Hey, anon, aren't you hungry?"
>Answer with a loud voice: "I am but my illness is keeping me away from eating anything." not shouting just saying it out loud like an autist
>Silence in the room
>Everyone goes back to talking 5 seconds later which felt like 5 minutes
>i'm back to starring at the table, talking to no one and eating nothing just to run away home 30 minutes later like I always do

>>37532490
They still love you anon.
Btw my younger brother has IBS, so you're not alone. Not the funnest thing, sorry to hear that.

>>37532537
No, they don't. My family literally hates me and I hate them. Maybe except for my mother, but the rest does. I can feel it in their expressions, gestures, etc. I just know I don't fit there and no "muh family" stuff is in the works because it's a meme. They are 100% normies, and I am not. No matter what ties we have, we don't communicate.

>>37532157
good taste anon originalo

>>37532353

the blanket is the most autismo part of the story

>>37532353
why were you carrying a fucking blanket around?

>>37532490
you are overthinking it anon. You havent said anything embarrassing. Not unlike the sandwich fucker

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>>37532490
>"""""LIKE""""" an autist
m8, I'm sorry to break it to you...

>>37532157
>>37532177
Trash rules everything around me, TREAM cause I'm hungry, gotta gotta eat y'all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KSR2XrE0DI

Good taste, friend.

>>37532106
>talking to girl I like through text
>she sends me Metallica lyrics
>can't remember the song but they were innocent sounding lyrics, maybe mildly flirty
>being the autist I am I don't know what to do so I send her the first metallica lyrics I can think of
>MASTER OF PUPPETS IM PULLING YOUR STRINGS
>TWISTING YOUR MIND AND SMASHING YOUR DREAMS
>;)

She didn't reply.

>reluctantly break up with a girl i love
>she doesnt want to go
>i break down and tell her I wanted her to carry my children and get married with her

when I was younger I also wrote on a girl's facebook that I would kill myself if she didnt reply to me

pretty funny stuff

>>37532106
If anything she was the autistic one

>>37532106
> nice to meet you alice
> well alice do you want to go over to the park bench
> well alice it seems we both got autism haven't we
> well that's unfortunate isn't it

I blew it. I FUCKING blew it

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>be shitskin visiting my parents country of birth
>some family friend died, and I'm dragged to his funeral
>people going around saying their condolences to the kids, a 12 year old teen and a 9/10 qt my age
>it's my turn and I've repeated the speech a thousand times in my head, just say "may she rest in piece" (marhoum in Arabic)
>walk up to her and attempt to say marhoum, say mabrouk instead which means congratulations
>freeze for 5 seconds realizing I just congratulated that girl on her dad's death
>run out the (nearby) front door
At least I never have to see them again

>>37533937
Please be in Germany.

Originalo

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>cute guy that I've never met before starts talking to me
>not used to the attention, so I just ignore him/play it off thinking that he's just bored or something
>"hey can I get your name?"
>I wanted to tell it to him, but for some reason whenever I'm around someone I like (most guys, to be quite honest) my autism kicks up and all that came out was "no, sorry" and a blank look
>mfw at this point it's my own fear and awkwardness that's keeping me away from getting into a relationship

This was roughly 2 years ago and I'm still kicking myself over it almost every day

>>37534175
Canada
Your rapefugee jokes ain't funny

>>37532106
>If you ever need a casual sex partner, I c-could help with that...

>>37534198
Fuck off roastie whore
So surprised this isn't original

>>37534210
EVEN BETTER LMAO.

Originalo

>>37534198
that made me chuckle a bit. Thanks Anon. I'm not laughing at you but your response.

>>37534222
Plot twist: it's a guy

>>37534233
Plot twist : faggots are almost as bad
Friendly reminder that traps are gay

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>me in highschool
>never went out to lunch, always ate in math classroom
>nerdy but kinda cute girl asks if I want to go off campus to get pizza
>agree
>we go and we talk about our religions, she's protestant and I'm Catholic at the time
>talk for a little
>she says, "Hmm, I think I could become Catholic"
>me: "Oh, that's cool..."
>she's always nice to me
>don't get it until many years later

>>37534272
Poor Anon, however there's a common reason we're all here.

>>37534272
Holy shit
I would kms realizing years later
You passed up on a cute non roast wife
Rest in piece anon

>>37534272
I don't get it

Orieir

>>37534465
anon thinks she's suggesting they would get married and she would become catholic

think it's just casual conversation though
like if I was chilling with my buddhist friend I might say hmm I think I cuold be a buddhist

One day i decided to be reaally smooth talking with my crush.

>...you can get away with anything, you're such a beauty...
> what?!
> you're such a nutty (or whatever the fuck rhymed with "beauty" at the time)
>akward silence pls somebody kill me

Really smooth ...

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>>37532106

>be me
>senior year of HS
>prettiest stacey in my grade been following me around for weeks
>why the fuck is this bitch faking interest in me
>lunch before christmas break
>sitting on the bench outside alone because fuck noise
>in a romantic looking garden thing with no one around
>stacey walks out to me
>tries to make small talk
>eat my turkey on rye and drink my sprite zero
>give her the "fuck off I'm trying to figure out the most efficient way to farm gp" look
>she finally gets fed up
>sits on my lap
>starts hand feeding me some of her apple slices
>I hate apples but you're giving me an erection so ok
>leans in and looks me in the eye
>my boner could cut steel at this point as her cheeks and my dick battle gravity
>"anon do you think I'm pretty?"
>"i-i guess"
>think "why is she bullying me? is this some sick prank?"
>literally thought that once I showed interest in her all the chads would pop out to laugh at me for being stupid
>lunch ends
>walk to class holding my binder over my dick
>think back a few days later, "holy shit, was she flirting with me?"
>she finally gives up on me after about another week

I found out later she really did like me but she had a boyfriend at the time. I'm 23 now and a virgin. I'm good looking but I have crippling autism, also every time a girl shows interest in me I think she's doing it as a prank

idk family, maybe ill kms

>pic related

>be in primary school, around 6
>girl asks me to go out with her
>I reply "your question has no meaning" and walk away

>Decide to message my crush
>"Hey"
>Get a reply in couple of hours
>Panic
>"Nvm"

>standing in line at subway
>girl standing in line ahead
>she starts commenting on tattoo
>really likes it asks about it while smiling
>answer in autistic blurts
>gets to register
>she forgot her wallet
>she's apologizing profusely
>awkward silence
>too shy to pay for her to get it over with
>staff tell her it's okay she can come back and pay later
>get to the register
>pay
>walk out
>girl sitting at table outside eating
>smiles and says to sit with her
>look at her
>smile
>continue walking

This was 5 years ago.

Too many long boring green text stories in this thread

>>37535500
Well yeah, this is 'autism' stories. Not interesting and entertaining stories.
Sorry normie. Maybe go back to >>>reddit.

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>>37532106
>TFW you explain in detail the operation of a firearm and how it works to a female you just met during a casual conversation.
I was not made for this world.

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>>37535721
>tfw gave a 10 minute explanation of bitcoin to Stacy at work

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>>37532353
>he carries a blanket
Oh anon, why...

>be me 2nd gradeish
>lottle blonde girl always chasing me around during recess.
>famile constantly teasing me about it
>had enough
>comes up to me when putting chairs away
>hit her with chair
>she turned out to be really hot in high school..

>be me in middle school
>girl enters the class
>says hi to everyone with a kiss in the cheek
>try to say hi to me
>I move my face a way
>"I don't like to touch people"
>moves away confused
>didn't spoke to me for the rest of the year

>>37536852
That's a weird and very affectionate way to say hi, to strangers nonetheless

asked my classmate if we can become friends with benefits. that killed my relationship with her

>>37536105
>3am
>girl i like sends me overwatch porn
>i say where did she find it
>she didn't reply

>>37532228
whats wrong with this one?

o r i g

>>37537622
"My condolences" implies that someone died. At least that's how I understood it.

>>37537766
Doesn't "condolences" just mean "sorry about that"? And why would the girl take it any other way? Sounds like her autism to me.

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Tfw you freeze up when you have to talk to the opposite gender and come off as rude and stupid

It wasn't supposed to be like this

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>>37537805
You're probably right, but it's still often used only when referring to someone who has experienced loss

>>37533937
should have just detonated right then and there

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>>37535775
I know that feel my dude, they think I'm gambling now.

>mfw I made 23 bitcoin out of an investment of 1.2 and cashed out 4

Easiest money I've made in my fucking life.

>>37533822
What is up with girls sending song lyrics to flirt? This one girl would text me suggestive song lyrics and I would say "I'd like that" or "we should do that sometime" and she would tell me to stop thinking dirty things. And then send me more suggestive lyrics

Had a girl who said she likes me, but when I tried to arrange date she was always dodgy. Over 9 months we've met only 3 times. One time was very shitty and she clearly didn't want to come. I tried to arrange date before new year and she always did find a reason not to come. So from one side she wasn't into me at all, but from another side she was telling that she likes me and want to have something with me. I was really into her. One time I couldn't hold myself and text her a really big speech about how I love her and how grateful I'm for knowing her. She replied with thanks. After that I understood that she's not into me at all and the next time she refused to meet me I said we shouldn't talk to each other anymore. She said 'I don't want it, but if you do it's your choice'.
The amount of spaghetti I dropped with her is fucking insane and still hauntes me at nights. I'm afraid of trying to find gf now because of how autistic I'm with girls.

>9/10 lil qt comes up to me
>She asks for my name
>In a spurt of autism I say
>Mr. Moseby
>gets up and leaves
>never talks to me again

>>37532490
I have IBS. It fucking sucks. Just like another fundamental part of my life that I can't talk to anybody about. I just say that I am not hungry in those situations. People are offended, but you can't say, "I would love to eat yur food, but I get diarrhea if I eat anything other than meat and rice because of this disease I have".

>>37532106
>be 16
>Crush 15
>both akward as fuck
>first loveintrest for both of us
>watdo.jpg
>decide to watch a movie at my place
>she arrives at my house
>says hi to parents
>go into my room
>dvd control out of batteries
>"be right back"
>find batteries
>She brought her favorite film
>Grown ups 1
>I've only seen the trailer, looked fun
>be exited as fuck
>she promises that it's great
>watch it
>poo,fart,short,fat jokes etc
>we sometimes mutter a fake laugh
>watch the entire thing
>afterwards we just sit in silence
>she takes up her phone and starts doing stuff
>I don't have a phone at the time
>just sit in my chair like an idiot for 40 min straight waiting for her parents to come pick her up
>she says "why be single?"
>"let's just do it"
>ok
>we gf n bf now
>palms starts sweating
>"Sooo, maybe there's something I have the permission to do now when you're my girlfriend "wink"
>the amount of confusion on her face
>"Um no there isn't"
>her parents arrive
>I give her a awkward hover hug
>she leaves
>see later on her facebook "Happy :D <3"
>I post something about getting up early the next morning to change tires
>2 weeks later we break up

I laugh and cringe every time I think of this.

>>37535261
>think back a few days later, "holy shit, was she flirting with me?"
Jesus fucking Christ.Every day I come here I think "People can't be this autistic", but then comes some retard like you who one-ups the previous one.

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>>37540070
lost it at "wink"

>>37535261
>girl asks me out
>Act really happy and exited worried she would think I am underreacting like I usually do in these situations
>she changes her mind the next day

I have never trusted any advances from a girl since that.

>>37532353
>not carrying your blankie everywhere

>>37535462
Gold digger averted, it's for the best

>>37532353
>be at community college
>carrying a blanket around
You are one smart 4 year old anon.

>>37532219
Audibly kekd. Fucking epic friend.

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>>37532106
>be alcoholic
>talking to female i've known for over five years
>only person i enjoy talking to
>i deleted her or she did during these five years
>we always end up talking again
>somewhat got into a relationship at some point but it ended horribly
>started talking again recently
>she gets really clingy
>"you're so cute i can't wait until you come over", "i really miss you", "we'll fuck, is that okay"
>got drunker than usual one evening
>told her she's the ugliest piece of shit i've ever seen and she's so retarded only autists and niggers find her attractive
>don't even know why i did it at this point and the justifications i think of aren't satisfying
Legit thought about marrying her in the near future. I snapped for no fucking reason.
At least i still have alcohol on my side and i'm somewhat normal, there are other females out there who like me.

>>37534272
Its fucking
>one's a gun, I keep it loaded, the other's a bottle and it keeps me loaded.

Whoever made that image needs to be hung you triggered my autism so bad.

I love Calvin.

>>37532353
>but carrying my blanket I brought to school (I get cold easy), don't want to get it dirty in bathroom

you mongoloid autist

>>37533822
you have mastered peak autism anon, congrats

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>>37540762
I fixed it. Calvin is saved

>>37535261
you (You) have to live with this the rest of your life anon

>>37537305
its pretty normal in france

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>Be me
>Like girl in high school
>She tells me that she likes me one day
>Say that I like her back
>She starts getting flirty
>Start to panic
>Awkward silence
>...
>"...I'm feeling kind of queasy, [insert girl name], can I leave?"
>Back away awkwardly
I've never talked to her since.

>>37535261
>I found out later she really did like me but she had a boyfriend at the time
You dodged a bullet anon. If you went out with her she'd just end up cheating on you with another dude.

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>senior year of high school
>girl starts waving to me and smiling and saying hi whenever we pass in the halls
>I'm autistic and got bullied throughout all previous years of school so I convince myself it's a trap, I say hey in return but nothing more
>continues for several months
>during the last month of school she grabs my arm and forces me into a conversation
>at this point realize it's not a trick
>we start talking for about thirty minutes after school each day
>graduation day comes
>all the students are waiting in the senior square for the ceremony to begin
>I'm standing in a corner talking to my autist friends (we met in kindergarten and never made other friends)
>suddenly feel someone grab my gown from behind
>quickly snap around and knock the assailant on the ground
>raise my foot to start stomping the bastard (I've been jumped before and am conditioned to react harshly)
>suddenly realize it's the girl who had been talking to me before
>apologize with a chuckle and help her up
>autist friends have vanished
>she's shocked and gasping for air, starts crying
>I don't know what the fuck to do
>she hugs me and starts crying into my chest, I guess to hide her face from others
>eventually she calms down and realizes it was a mistake
>we talk until the ceremony begins, she gives me her phone number
>called her a few days later and confessed and got rejected

Happened last weekend

>get a message from this qt girl out of the blue
>"want to come round and smoke weed and play xbox"
>"i do," I reply
>I go to her house, smoke weed, play xbox, fall asleep then go home the next morning
>She messages me the next day
>"Want to hang out again this week? I really want to see your pet rabbit!"
>(I found a baby rabbit a few weeks ago)
>"I would invite you round, but my parents will tease me for having a girl round the house, sorry"

I'm 22 years old.

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>You said you wanted someone sweet who could cook so I made you brownies
End me.

>>37532106
>be pneumaticdrillfag
>I love the sound of those drills so much
>known for quietly making "DRRRRR" sounds when I'm walking alone
>been talking to a polish girl for a few months
>spontaneously feel intense anger towards her for her stupid female ways
>stop saying words to her, just "DRRRRRR"
>fucking bitch doesn't deserves words
>she keeps trying to talk to me for a few days
>"DRRRRRRR!!"

She gave up, I regret this, but I just really hate females. They're all the same, boring, conformist beings.

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>>37534210
Horry shit, the memes write themselves.

>>37532106
>Who are you?
>"I'm Hannah"
>Hi Hannah, I am trucknuts
>"Trucknuts? Alright cool."
>Yeah but I'm not real though
>"Oh.."
>It's cool though because neither are you
>"..Okay.."

>>37541865
This girl wants to just smoke weed and play Xbox? Does she have a sister?

>>37541678
>apologize with a chuckle
My sides

>>37540473
Roasties BTFO
She was a woman, it was justified

>>37543285
>This girl wants to just smoke weed and play Xbox?
So it seems
Her boyfriend is my best mate, but they broke up (again) a week ago

I made a fool of myself 6 years ago due to an infatuation towards her. I haven't loved another girl since, and I fall asleep every night hugging my pillow pretending it's her.

I don't plan on being rejected again, so I'm going to continue to be my awkward self and put less than zero effort in.

>Does she have a sister?
I think so, but I've never really met her

>14 yo
>dating a incredible girl, she had a awesome personality
>I'm schizophrenic and I have never told her
>"Oh shit she wouldn't love me anymore If she knows it"
>One random day I tell her that I've never loved her, and the best way to pass into this was just leaving it behind and starting a new life
>I said exactly this, oh god
>She starts saying she will kill herself
>Oh fuck what I should do
>I tell her to don't do It (tutorial how to stop suicidal thoughts, you're welcome)
>She didn't yet, I think I did the right thing kek
>Start using medication to schizophrenia two weeks later
>I'm very stable
>I fucked up a very nice relationship because I'm too impulsive and stupid

>>37532106
I told my therapist (female) that I think I have Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. She told me I probably don't and am just pathologizing my problems.

>>37543604
tell her that you wank over her facebook pictures and like to edge yourself before you go to therapy

she sounds like a cunt

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>>37543334
Problem is that i'm somewhat normal, spent two years here, but got a gf a year ago, new friends, etc. Came back because i'm still an alcoholic and hate normal people, they always keep up a facade of normality, it's awful and boring.
The girl was "abnormal" and i know he for a long time, i was legit ready to marry her in the near future.
Sadly i snapped due to the liquid jew, said a massive amount of nasty shit.
I know she comes here, but this board has changed a lot in a year, she'll probably never read this.

Being normal is hell. Keep being robots, i fell for the "normal" meme, it's bad, it fucked me up way more than being a recluse.

>>37543456
We need to figure out how to clone her now.

>>37532106
>"heh, yeah..." really quietly

>>37543970
Well I have some of her white blonde hairs that I picked off her boyfriends mattress with the intent of cloning her one day

It's a start, but I'd need a lot of money and contacts to actually make a clone of her

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>>37543456
>I made a fool of myself 6 years ago due to an infatuation towards her. I haven't loved another girl since

oh Christ I hope this doesn't end up being me

I'll get over her... r-right?

>>37544178
>I'll get over her... r-right?
That depends if you want to get over her or not.

I don't want to get over the girl that I love. She was the last person I hugged (2 years ago), and the last person I kissed (6 years ago).

I've thought about her so much and so often, that I can sometimes feel her presence around me. I feel her skin against mine, I feel the love that she gives me, she talks to me and I talk back.

It's a delusion that I've been working on for many years now, and it only gets stronger over time.
I've never managed to fool my eyes, but one day I hope to see her.

I live a lonely existence, but her memory keeps me 'sane' and alive.

>>37544178
You'll eventually find someone to replace her and the cycle will start again

>>37543247
Plz tell me this isnt real

>>37543684
is she ugly though

>>37544349
Afraid so. I was shitfaced and tripping balls at a trail festival a few weeks ago and that was one of many autistic conversations I had that night.

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>>37532353
>Carrying around a blanket
Have you never heard of wearing a jacket?

>told oneitis i like her
>she already had a boyfriend so kind of tried to forget it
>conversations were awkward for a few days after but we became friends (in hindsight It seems more like orbiting now)

>talking with oneitis and her best friend mere days later
>start asking me girls i find attractive
>end up saying oneitis's name in attempt to be smooth and flatter
>she straight up ignores this and silently moves on and makes me feels uncomfortable times a billion

also

>rapped a tyler the creator song to her because she asked me to

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>>37544429
She's incredibly fucking cute in a way.
But it doesn't matter at this point.
I'll keep on drinking and making "alcoholic generals" to steer robots away for the Canned Samuel, maybe i'll do some good for once and convince some people not to drink, while doing it myself. I've been feeling some pain while applying pressure below my right ribs and i've been feeling my kidneys for the past couple of months.
The whole board turned to shit while i was being normal, i can't even find a "home" anymore.

Thanks for responding to my posts anon, i'm off to bed.
Have some quality fucking music, just for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jERzLseoAOM

>>37544601
have you even tried talking to her since then?

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>girl sends me happy birthday and asks how old I am
>say some bs age
>we bs back and forth like I'm 50 XD , I'm 90
>she says I'm 12
>I say something along the lines of "the ripe age" in my language.

>>37532106

Me and a Greaser I know do cosplay sometimes.

This happened about 5 years ago.

> Stacey comes over with Chad
> "So what do you guys do on the weekends"
> Greaser says "We dress up"
> Her and Chaddington seem genuinely interested
> I say "In leather" and smile at them

They went away then and we got a reputation for being gimps, but really we were into steampunk and victorian era stuff.

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>>37544621
Fuck, i said i'm going to bed.
I somewhat tried talking to her, it has only been four or five days and i've been my usual passive-aggressive self, as in, "i don't care about you, but talk to me", while actually wanting her to talk to me.

Basically i'm a fucking retard and i legit need to sleep.

>>37544721
go 2 bed and good luck

>>37532106
>"I got a new car, same manufacturer and color as yours."
Could've been worse I guess.

>>37537305
>>37541126
in Mexico too

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>>37532228
What? I honestly have no idea what you meant.

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>qt from work comes to visit us at the workplace off shift
>she walks up to me and starts smalltalking
>slowly transitions to flirting
>since I'm socially retarded and I've already been working for some hours, I answer her flirting with dull serious answers
>rant about how much I hate children when she asked me if I liked them

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>>37532353
< You remind me exactly of Linus from Peanuts.

>>37544891
holy shit, that picture minus the wizard head was one of my captcha pictures for the word "shorts" what the fuck

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>>37533892
I like your younger self.

>>37533905
You brought up your autism?

>>37545039
that's from some show about people with autism and shit dating I think

>>37545039
It's from a show.
And the last > isn't even right if I remember correctly

>>37542175
>DRRRRR

I love you

>>37534198
I feel like maybe I was that guy. I don't know how to start conversations and try to comment on something that's happening or I ask for a name.

>>37544681
whatever, but you are still tremendously gay

do you fuck your boyfriend in the ass or does he do you

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>>37536368
You proved your dominance that day Anon. Don't be sad, be proud.

>>37539604
Don't feel bad about it. She was being pretty dodgy and wouldn't be clear.

>>37532106
Well I can't recall any of the really autistic things that I have said but I recall one.
>Camping with some friends
>We realize there's 3 girls that are friends in a site near us
>We later manage to engage with each other and had some fun playing card games, etc.
>Later in the night we go for a random walk in a bit of woods
>We find a cool field just at sunset and it looks real neat
>One of the girls suggest we all take a picture together
>I was next to one of the girls who before mentioned how she had a boyfriend
>I was just standing next to her waiting for the picture when one of her friends told me to put my arm around her for the picture
>I sorta just hovered my arm behind her and said "Well that was awkward." way too loudly like the autist that I am
>Everyone sorta just looked at me and went on
I probably think it was weird because I overthink everything but that's all I got.

>>37540070
She said it was her favourite but then she faked laugh throughout the movie?

>>37540473
I can't tell if you're a normie or not.

Some good shit here simulatorfags

>>37532365
>i wasnt even trying to do anything sexual with that sandwich. i just came into my bread man.

>>37541678
Now this post has a lot of normie shit in it. But this, this is gold. Sorry that happened Anon. She seems like a sweet girl.

>>37535296
existencial anon

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>>37541865
Text her back. Aplogize for what you said. She smokes weed, plays games and likes cute rabbits. You have got to give it a shot! Go on dude! Take no effort and I know you can do it!
:D

>>37532106
>see a girl in one of my classes on campus out doing something alone
>ask her what she is doing
>she tells me
>proceed to awkwardly hang around her until late

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>>37544805
no nigga it isn't, maybe a female with her female friends but just walking in a classroom and kissing everybody while saying hi? thats weird

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>be at store
>girl I knew from middle school is cashier
>we chat
>her: so what how have you been?
>transaction coming to an end
>"pretty good I guess."
>recently bought a piece of shit car and excited about it
>"....Bought a car."
>3 other cashiers and their customers in earshot
>silence
>fuck they think im trying to flirt
>she hands me my bag
>Me: "k we good?"
>her: "mhm"
Haven't been back since. She was a fucking bitch in school too but muh autism.
>tfw could have been normal

Man I really want to kms after reading these because this might as well be me posting all this autism tales

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>yesterday
>ordering bacon sandwich
>"Would you like a drink with that?"
>i think she says do you want anything on it (sauce etc)
>compose myself
>"yeah ketchup"
>mfw i realise

>>37545525
me too. I just want to drive really fast to the middle of nowhere and die

>>37540070
m8 what the heck

>around 10 years ago
>talking to some girl
>think nothing of it
>one day get a text from a common friend
>wants to tell me something about the girl I've been talking to
>says that she loves me but is too shy to tell me herself
>overwhelmed with the situation and did not want to be with her
>just say something like "okay"
>ignore girl from then on
>pretend nothing happened

>>37532106
>date with major long time crush
>she says she's single but interested
>asks me if I'm single
>"She's a lesbian"

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>>37544805
Thank dog I live in a country that is know for having autist with a great work ethic. They just shake your hands or give you a hug if you know them well.

I was in France on an exchange once. Dude was just as spergy as me but his older sister was a qt. She comes in to greet me and tries the check kiss shit. Instinctively pull my head away.

Later that week this one frog gives us a tour through town. Stops in the middle of the road and talks to some old man. >mfw they kissed

>>37532177
bait
orororororroig

>talking to some girl with massive tits online
>one day I am just trying to be all smooth like
>"hey do you want a bf ;)?"
>she says yes and shit, think nothing of it
>we talk a bit more
>some time later I see her at a party
>it was already closing time and me and my friend are about to go home as she and her friend walk up to us
>"well since this place is closing down how about we go to my place to party a bit more"
>the only thing I think about is how I would get home from there
>don't even consider that she might possibly was hinting at something else entirely
>only realize my mistake some 6 years later

Man, I have come so close so many times yet I messed it up because I was fucking clueless.

>>37545711
She was legit going to lure you to a pack of jigaboos to rob you, anon.

>>37545711
Even I would realize what she was hinting. Unless you were super fucking drunk you should just off yourself.

>>37545787
I remember saying some shit like
>that's kinda far away I won't be able to get home
That was all that went through my head that moment. Fucking logistics of how I can get back home.

Btw she never talked to me anymore after that haha

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>Be 15
>Grade 10
>Find cute redhead a year younger than me
>Try to talk to her
>Hard to have conversation
Side note: I have high anxiety (OCD mainly) and I might have autism, which lead to shitty conversations
>She keeps hanging around her group of friends
>Her friends move everywhere
>Decide I need to follow and find them to keep up
>She starts getting uncomfortable
>I think she might've hid from me at one point
>I don't really read these cues
>I think "Nah c'mon. I'm worrying again." Or "It's probably not that bad"
This goes on for a few days.
>Afterwards I give her a gift
>It's a Breaking Bad pin
>She freaks out and leaves
>Yay I did a thing.jpg

Next day

>Get a call from student counsellor
>Apparently girl was very uncomfortable and asked her mom to talk to the counsellor
>Feel like shit for what I did
>Another reason to start hating myself
>Give her an apology
>Apology wasn't very good, but it was an apology nonetheless
>Got weird glares from her and her friends much afterwards

I felt bad about the whole thing, but my self-loathing stopped latching onto it, after I came to terms that it happened months ago (at the time). And the fact that everyone fucks up sometimes, helped me out.

>>37532219
Well, it sounds a little rude but firing you was too much imo.
I mean, if you got fired cause that girl reported you or something then she's a major bitch, you already had a good relationship with her, you weren't some sort of creep.

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>>37532106
For some reason I really suck comprehending what other people say when there's a lot of surrounding noise, which has led to many embarrassing situations. But this one is definitely the worst.


>be 14
>brother died a few years back
>close friends knew
>somehow got leaked to a nerdy qt I had a slight crush on
>we were sitting close during class
>"Hey anon, is it true your brother died?" in an empathetic voice
>my autist friends were talking to each next to me, so I couldn't clearly make out her question at the time
>panic because I didn't want to ask again and seem like a retard/social anxiety, have to give a prompt response
>"Yeah, sure!" while nodding cheerfully and smiling
>she makes a weirded out face and we both resume attention to the class

I only clarified the question in my head after class and realised what happened. I never talked to her again for years and my only saving grace was the fact that she wasn't a gossiping stacey and didn't spill my spergout to everyone.

>>37545903
She might've mentioned it to her co-workers, and the boss overheard it.

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>Beautiful tomboy keeps glancing at me in class
>Always smiles at me whenever we run into each other and waves
>Time to rearrange seats
>She immediately sits next to me
>Fixes her hair, taps me on the shoulder, grins, and speaks
>"Hey, you're name's anon right?" she says
>Look down at my feet
>My voice cracks and I spit out "Y-YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY!!"
>People start laughing and a few girls say "awww"
>Her facial expression changes from interested to pitying
>"Aww well...you tried your best, buddy"
>She claps me on the back and sighs

Only death is real

>>37545987
I don't understand how women can lose interest this quickly.

>>3754598
Why wasn't she happy? Because you put her on the spot? I mean she shouldn't hold any grudges.

>>37545987
are you attractive. I had a similar experience except I was too beta to even utter anything more to her than talking about the class. I am not attractive by the way

>>37546005
women are like minefields. one wrong step and you're done.

>>37546005
she was probably a bit embarrased too, or she knew anon was shy and awkward so she did this on purpose

>>37532106
>second year of college
>discussing with some people
>freshman girl comes along
>she seems to like me, is all smiles, laughs at my jokes and shit
>anyway, people discussing different stuff
>gay pride parades come up
>freshman girl says that she once went to a parade and a guy hit on her
>"maybe he thought you were a tranny"

Was this bad ? I mean, she didn't respond and we discussed a bit more later than day, but she never spoke to me again.

>>37546121
did you at least ask her if she was a tranny to get some boypussy

>>37539898
Did you make sure she wasn't running in your lobby?

>>37546005
Once a woman is attracted to you, it's your job to convince her not to fuck you. That's why the best advice is not to talk very much with women. They're going to viciously analyze anything you say or do for betaness. They have ARMIES of guys pursuing them all day, no need to settle for a beta. If you're quiet her fantasies are free to run wild about you.

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>>37546056
I don't know. Bullies have called me quote "UGLY AS FUCK!!" before and yet I've had multiple girls hit on me. Then my autism ruins their attraction. I'm going to die alone.

>>37546248
I can't carry out a simple conversation on tinder I'm so fucking boring. unless they also happen to be austistically into talking shit about social policies or guns and cars. actually now that I think about it, I have no hobbies or anything that would entertain anyone. I'm boring, I'm a fucking loser

I've only had two actual interactions with girls (non-family of course) in my whole life, otherwise I'd have more autistic moments

>be around 10-11
>at the beach
>weather's bad, raining a bit
>go for a swim
>there's a little diving platform a bit deeper and some teens on it sitting in a circle talking
>go up there out of curiosity
>sit next to qt blonde girl my age
>she turns to me and says hi
>h-hi
>you have really pretty eyes
>th-thanksyoutoo
>i wait a minute in silence after this and then go "bye" and swim back to the shore

there's also the more recent one a few months ago where this qt was like "how would you like it if I were your gf?" and I panicked and said that I'm not really meant for relationships

im starting to believe that im destined to be khhv

>>37532204
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with

>>37534252
They FUcking are not