Psychological Issues: Group Therapy.

Nobody?

I'll start the regular thread again when I have time for it. Give or take 2 weeks, or so. Not sure.

>>37516381
I've turned into a shell of a man. I've been getting more and more depressed, I can't stop thinking about all of the shameful things I've done in the past. I hate how much of a pathetic faggot I am.

I wonder how it got so bad. I sometimes wonder if I have some repressed memory of some fucked up traumatic event in my childhood. I almost want that to be true, at least it explains how I've managed to fuck things up so badly.

>>37517049
>I can't stop thinking about all of the shameful things I've done in the past

Share some.

>wonder if I have some repressed memory of some fucked up traumatic event in my childhood

Sometimes they're hidden in plain sight. It was that way for me.

I used to think I was one of the good people. That I was justified in what I did because in the end I was still decently kind and loving. That's not true at all. All I care about is drugs now. Every interaction I have is exceedingly awkward and wrong because I'm either fucked up or just unable to really connect with people. I keep trying to fix my life and it always ends the same. I just wish I could be decent, I don't have to be rich, famous, or talented, I just want to be a decent person.

>>37517145

Quit doing drugs? Is that feasible?

>>37517110
>Share some.

Well, I used to get blackout drunk a lot and do a lot of terrible things. I groped random women occassionally. Started fights with people.

And then there are a lot of memories where I've acted like an autist, which may seem menial but to me they are still quite shameful. Stuff like where I've tried to be flirty with a girl and told her her eyes were beautiful but it just didn't come off well at all.

I'm sure you can understand I don't want to be too specific.

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>>37517145

50 hours in MS Paint. And then some.

>>37517265

Use whatever you can to learn from and move on. We all do stupid shit we regret.

Learn from your sins, repent, and move on. Dwelling on your mistakes so much that it prevents you from moving on will be a mistake in its own right. So don't do it.

>>37517194
I've tried many times but there's always a craving in the back of my head. It's torture to be sober.
>>37517272
topkek. Don't I sound like a faggot.

>>37517361
>topkek. Don't I sound like a faggot.

I thought of that image when I read your thing. It sounded very good, don't worry. I just couldn't resist. I actually think you write very well.

>>37517377
Thanks anon, that means a lot to me. I used to be a big writer but I gave that up.
Good image though, it always touches me when people spend time thinking about things I say. My knee jerk reaction is always that people are making fun of me though.

>>37517443
>I used to be a big writer but I gave that up.

Too bad, your writing is good. I didn't have to edit anything to put it in the meme.

And no, I wasn't making fun of you. Good text ends up having a funny effect, but that's because of the images. I could paste Byron or Shelley in there and it'd be all the more hilarious as the original text is good. It's the gap between the two that creates the effect.

>>37516381
Hey Nick how is everything? Did you get your work done, or you still catching up?

>>37517338
>Learn from your sins, repent, and move on. Dwelling on your mistakes so much that it prevents you from moving on will be a mistake in its own right. So don't do it.

I don't know why I can't stop thinking about them though. Honestly, there is so much I can't even begin to explain. Dozens of humiliating memories just fly at me all the time, and another memory I thought nothing of initially, I then start to realise how stupid I actually was.

It makes me start thinking about what kind of person I am, and it's impossible for me to not think negatively about myself.

>>37517657

I'm still working and far from done. Today is a day off depression for me. I was able to clean a bit, work out, and laugh.

I want to learn to be more assertive. I'm too shy and timid and when talking to others I don't know very well, or talking in large groups of people I get nervous and start stuttering and my voice gets lower and lower and I start not making any sense.

I'm also really insecure about myself and constantly worry about if others think I'm "weird" and whatnot.

It sucks 'cause I have to depend on other people like a child sometimes, and I'm already an adult.

>>37517694

It means you've learned. Focus on that. You're a next level person now compared to before.

Learn to say "Fuck it." When you think about an embarrassing moment, say "Fuck it." And mean it. You must learn not to give a shit about stuff like that.

That you feel bad about them shows you've already repented, there's no need to keep doing it.

Focus on this too: you will do less good if you hinder yourself with negative thoughts.

Hey guys, how are you holding up?
>>37516381
>share anecdote from the past
Highschool was trash, and i dealt with it simply faking who i was. Now that i think about it, it's probably the reason i fear so much to be judged. Also, I discovered pretty late how to separate my real friend from the one who simply wanted to use me

>>37517756
>Learn to say "Fuck it." When you think about an embarrassing moment, say "Fuck it." And mean it. You must learn not to give a shit about stuff like that.
>That you feel bad about them shows you've already repented, there's no need to keep doing it.
>Focus on this too: you will do less good if you hinder yourself with negative thoughts.

I have come to similar conclusions myself, but I somehow manage to completely erase them from my memory and slip into the same self-flagellation. I think I say 'Fuck it' in regards to actually valuing myself, instead of saying fuck it to things which devalue me, if that makes sense.

It's easier for me to treat myself like shit basically.

>>37517715
>and laugh
Most important one right there. Joy is good to feel. I finally found something to keep my mind occupied during the week, as well as something to do over the weekends I enjoy doing. So this weekend was pretty good to me, ear infection be damned.

>>37518048
>It's easier for me to treat myself like shit basically.

Yes, because you side with the enemy doing this, and then you feel like you're not under attack anymore. It's like giving up on yourself, teaming with the bullies, against yourself.

You need your own protection. If you don't help yourself first, nobody else will, for many reasons. Nature hates weakness, this is why bullying happens; people will trust your opinion of yourself, whether you verbalise it or whether you express it in how you hold yourself, move, occupy space, address others, etc.

Your self-esteem will betray you if it's not good. You must make it good.

I always recommend working out to have a useful personal project with maximum benefits. I'm talking lifting free weights specifically.

>>37517756
just wanted to say hi, Nicky. won't stay today since its my mom's birthday and we are going out to celebrate it but i just wanted to know how have you been

>>37518144

I suppose I've been diagnosing everyone's parents as narcs for quite some time now. Amirite.

Happy birthday to your mother; I hope y'all have fun out there.

Why isn't this thread getting trolled anymore?

I want to fuck some shit up.

>>37518323
Maybe they're simply bored. Thread seems pretty dead though.

>>37518382

I don't have time to do it full time right now.

Such is life. I do have a job, after all.

>>37518168
kek i see that you still take it personal. anyways, thanks for the good wishes

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Make some OC. Make some original OC.

>>37518482
>kek i see that you still take it personal.

Kek, I see that you're not sure how seriously I take it personal.

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I'm on a row.

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OP and his thread. And his original thread.

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Anyone else around here?

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Haven't actually seen a Narc parent in a while.

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This is a text.

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Rate my shit, homos.

This is fun to watch, please continue.

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Fun goes on.

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May the farce be with you.

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Bish, so you be sayin', you be sayin'... Narcs?

Wrong image, but it was already posted.

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I know way too many memes. It's almost a faultless series with these memes.

this is so cringe worthy. please go on

>>37519027

It'd have to be meant with a straight face to be cringe-worthy, friendo.

Don't hesitate to make some too.

>>37519115
sure Nick, sure. but please go on, im screencapping

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Bit different.

>>37519139
What the fuck did I just read?
Tell me this wasn't you

>>37519130

Don't be upset that you can't come up with anything on your own.

Not sure why you'd be screencapping. You're acting like these images are something huge... Silly fuckface.

>>37519166

I was bathed in water that contained shit, with my little brother, when we were kids, yes.

I can't certify that it was voluntary and I can't tell whose shit it really was.

All I can certify was that my mother found it hilarious and called my other brother to witness the mayhem after the water drained. That alone is just plain weird.

As often, I'm left with theories:

1. baby bro shat in the bath
2. parents tricked us, opaque water, etc

>>37519174
this are 9fag worthy memes
hence the screencapping

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>>37519204
I really have nothing to add to that, so have King Kong forcefeeding Godzilla his veggies.

>>37519222
>this are 9fag worthy memes

I've never been on that website, mind telling me what it's like?

I'm basically going through the menu of that meme-making website.

Whatever comes to mind, I post.

Kind of flattered that you think this shit is so important that it needs screencapping. Can't wait to see you post that stuff expecting everyone to go, "Woah, so cringy!"

Fucking top kek.

>>37516381
I'm freaking the fuck out guys

Not at home and I've been through the mill a little bit, stuck because of public transport. Still, I honour my commitments and have prepared the following for Atlas:

>There was a fat kid from the net
>Who ate a whole cow on a bet
>He won all the cash
>Then went on the lash
>And ate himself back into debt!

>>37519319

Tell us more. And more.

>>37516381
So I went to the D&D meet up, and it was really cool. I ended up playing a human rogue, but now I just want to play a monk.

>>37519316
not saying you've been on the website just that your memes are as cringy as those on the website
>important
>implying
>

>>37519373
>not saying you've been on the website just that your memes are as cringy as those on the website

Tell me more about the website...

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>>37519373

Lap that shit up, tardo.

>>37519341
I dunno. I'm at work and everything is accelerated. I have ahuge test on wednesday. I ran into the girl I was avoiding (because she dumped me) and said Hi to her with a kiss on the cheek that was too close and personal. I skipped half of my classes today. Some of it will be on wednesday's test. fuuuuck. If I don't get an answer on wether i got another job or not by tomorrow then I won't be able to get a "licence without pay" where I am and won't be to come back. And the new job despite paying a lot looks sketchy as fuck. Also, I'd be dropping out of school. Also, I do so much stuff wrong. And have no one to contain me.

>>37519353
Which edition did you play? I stopped playing recently as we lost two players, but from what i knows monk are cool as a concept and terrible underpowered

>>37519436
And I feel like having trouble breathing like a retard

>>37519482
And I still need to get out of work, got to the gym and do groceries and study

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Remember when I did the thread correctly? We'd get over 600 posts.

>>37519353
>I just want to play a monk
So how long have you been a masochist?

>>37519470
I played the 5th edition. How are monks terribly underpowered? From what I've seen, they're pretty cool. The other thing I've thought about playing was a barbarian.

>>37519531
Is a monk really that bad?

Tryna do therapy, y'all motherfuckers keep wanting to role play like virgins.

Ama put a cap in yo ass, bish.

>>37519584
Its concept is great, but piss poor execution ruins it.

use this as the next issues theme song to it's made by a robot

https://youtu.be/hVQWV8jO-Ac

>>37519541
I can't tell from direct experience, but basically lots of other class have the ability to outdamage you, you have lots of mobility but no range, and very low AC/pf gorna characters that is supposed to stay in the middle of the fight. At least it seems better than in 3.5/pathfinder, in which the monk is probably the worst class ever printed

>>37519698
Also, they are multiple ability dependant (MAD, just to stay in theme with the thread) because they need AT least high dex, wis, con, and probably even str and int is always welcome.

You guys...

How did we go from kicking narc ass to discussing the power levels of monks in Dungeons & Dragons?

I stop working for tonight.

If anyone has anything to say, ask, or whatever.

>>37519698
I could get a pretty good AC of 15, which was on par with my rogue, and my range comes from a quarter staff. You also get darts. You can also close the distance with shadow walker.

>>37519773

You make me feel like a girl who just entered the wrong Games Workshop.

>>37519413
you can search for it. 9gag. it will probably be the first result

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>>37519817
S-so I heard y-y-you paint mi-minis too. Hehe I c-can show you mine if you want?

>>37519687
Do you have any specific examples of why it's shit?

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I meant to be free of the fungal influence today, but I found so many I couldn't fit the bag into my pocket and had to eat a couple of the large ones. Such is my burden.

>>37520005
Are you on shrooms?

>>37520034
It would certainly seem that way.

>>37519761
>I stop working for tonight.

>If anyone has anything to say, ask, or whatever.


You were working so hard

>>37519986
Just what I've picked up from fa/tg/uys over the years. Basically the monk is supposedly an anti-mage class(Which in 3/3.5 is a fucking joke, caster superiority is a meme, but its true). A melee weapon user who gets outdamaged by every other dedicated melee class, with no armor to shield from damage, and attacks that can almost never hit through armor. But when they do, almost no damage. The ONLY time a monk can be good, is when the entire party is stripped of all equipment, and that is merely good by comparison.

>>37520147
Wait, are you talking about the 3/3.5 edition?

>>37519924

I'd love to see that. I don't have any pictures of my work here.

I have a lot of Blood Angels, some Orks, a ton of Necrons, an Ork Boss, Necron scarab, some Black Legion Chaos Marines.

LO and would visit Games Workshops in England. She even went to a painting class on my advice. I had bought her a cocatrice, or however you spell that. Only a wing remains, and that wing is here with me.

So fucking sad. Everything goes. It's beyond me how people can move on from relationships where you've lived with a person as if it was your family.

>>37520135
>You were working so hard

By working, I meant working for my job, not in the thread. Yes, I was working pretty damn fucking hard, mind you.

>>37520220
>Wait, are you talking about the 3/3.5 edition?

Fuck, this made my vagina so wet.

>>37520230
>It's beyond me how people can move on from relationships where you've lived with a person as if it was your family
well you yourself moved on from your relationship with your parents even though they were literally family

>>37520261
I was only asking, because they changed it a lot over time.

>>37520147
Still, in 5th edition they don't look so bad. I'm reading it now and they seem just a little underpowered, but probably a way of the open hand monk that throw people in the air and knock 'em prone could be at least useful to control the battlefield. Also, i discovered that int no longer control the numbers of skill you get, so they are less MAD
3.x/pathfinder monk is even less useful if you start using extra book, like Tome of Battle (hello swordsage)
In the end play whatever you like, you play to have fun, not to destroy the game

>>37520333
>well you yourself moved on from your relationship with your parents even though they were literally family

True. There wasn't much to move on from, though. In that sense, it was easy.

I consider LO my only real family. And she's gone. I'm not even sure I'll be able to be with someone else without feeling guilt.

>>37520342

You owe me a pair of panties, big boy.

top tier memes and discussions tonight! i r8 8/8 m8

>>37520461
>top tier memes

You guys took this shit very seriously... Beats me.

Let me scratch my balls without assuming I'm trying to revolutionise DJ-ing.

>>37520521
theres a lack of borderline memes though :^)

>>37520220
Yes I was
>>37520230
I was joking Nick. Imitating the fa/tg/uys attempting flirting I saw at the shop.
>>37520362
Having fun is important. But depending on your DM, you may not get to have fun if your character cannot perform in combat.

>>37520864

Yep. Feel free to change that.

He hates me. I manipulated him into coming back. But, I had to. I'm the only one who deserves him. He doesn't need anyone else. He shouldn't talk to anyone else. I'm better than them. I'm more important. But he's still upset with me. Do I threaten him more? He needs to love me. I hate the way I am, but I deserve this

>>37520882
>I was joking Nick. Imitating the fa/tg/uys attempting flirting I saw at the shop.

Figured, but thought you might really have some minis.

>>37520914

Are you aware that you sound insane? Why do you think you're so important and special?

>>37521061
because im a virgin sagitarius

>>37521061
Unfortunately I don't. Wanted to get into miniwargaming, but can't pay those prices.

>>37521094
Do you understand how little sense that makes? That's like saying I hate people and disorganization because I'm an ISTJ.

>>37521094

Answer seriously.

>>37521232
im being serious, im all he needs. im a virgin sagittarius

>>37520884
hey Nick. i was wondering, with you having what i'd consider a pretty shitty time growing up, how'd you manage to score so well on the empathy tests? are you just born being great at reading people?

shitty parents and shitty experienses in general is normaly just deleterious for social skills.

>>37521409
>virgin sagittarius

Astrology isn't real. Why would it mean you're all he needs? You don't sound like anyone anyone else would want around.

Explain yourself.

>>37521061
I know I sound crazy. I know my mentality is fucked. But I love him, and I'm obsessed. He loves me too, I'm sure. We've been through too much together. I can't give up now.

>>37520882
I'm pretty sure that they changed it a lot in the 5th edition. The monk class didn't seem bad at all when I was looking at it.

>>37521427

I was socially inept for a long time. Roughly until I was 28 and even beyond that. A full time job as a teacher taught me to behave socially. I learn fast.

I don't actually know why I didn't turn out like my brothers or the rest of my family. It's a pure mystery.

My therapist says there's "something very healthy" in me, and I owe it my resilience.

It's sad that my own kind is the one that hurts me the most.

>>37521480

You sound entitled to an unhealthy degree. If he loved you, he'd be with you right now.

You have many beliefs that need serious checking.

You don't have anything left to give up when the other person is already gone.

>>37521476
are you too thick in the head to understand what a virgin sagittarius is? im basically very rare, special and superior. why would he want or need anything else? it doesnt make sense. i think he is a narc with BPD and he gave me C-PTSD

>>37521541
But he is with me. Of course, I threatened him into it, but he'll have to warm up soon, right? This sounds seriously crazy, I know that, but I deserve it. He needs to love me. He's just playing hard to get.

>>37521541
>I was socially inept for a long time
makes total sense, it also gives me hope that even something complex as social relations can be learned.

what are your brothers like?

>>37521556
>are you too thick in the head to understand what a virgin sagittarius is?

Are you too thick in the head to believe in astrology? You can't be that special if you're dumb enough to give credence to something like astrology. Do you also believe in coffee stains telling the future? That's a very common, and crass, way of being.

> im basically very rare, special and superior.

Superior people don't write "im" as if they were 10. Superior people also know how to use capital letters. Get off your high horses, because nothing suggests you're any kind of superior to anyone, quite the opposite. You talk like an entitled little cunt.

I think you're trolling at this point. Stop wasting my time.

>>37521492
I don't know, haven't been by /tg/ for over a year now. Hope 5th balanced the many, many issues that previous issues had.

>>37521646
>what are your brothers like?

One left home many years ago and has lived as a shut-in ever since. He has a welfare kind of job, no professional ambitions, despite a university degree. No offline friends that I know of. His life is spent on the PC. He lives in squalor.

The other married our cousin and has children. She's about as messed up as he is, they argue a lot. It's as dysfunctional as our family in general is. The whole mess makes me want to distance myself from everyone in my family, brothers included, sadly. I've tried to help, but we've lost touch for many weeks now. I contacted both, only one responded.

I have no family left. Literally: no one. I'm on my own in a way I never imagined I'd ever be.

>>37521726
>One left home many years ago and has lived as a shut-in ever since. He has a welfare kind of job, no professional ambitions, despite a university degree. No offline friends that I know of. His life is spent on the PC. He lives in squalor.


that sound like me

>>37521747

I haven't seen him since Christmas.

My only childhood trauma is complete lack of any traumas. Literally not a single thing to be edgy about. Why live ;-;

>>37521726
that's a really wide range of dysfunction

also
>married our cousin and has children
>and has children

how many limbs do they have?

>>37521875
>how many limbs do they have?

8.

>>37521656
>Superior people don't write "im" as if they were 10
>superior people dont omit unnecessary punctuation when it's completely unnecessary to the understanding of their sentences
boy you really are a special kind arent you?
first of all, dont talk shit to me boy. you dont know who you're messing with. i voiced the winnie pooh cartoon for 5 years

>>37521887
>boy you really are a special kind arent you?

You think a basic ability to spell is special?

>first of all, dont talk shit to me boy.

I'm probably twice your age, kiddo.

>you dont know who you're messing with.

You gave me an excellent summary of who you were.

>i voiced the winnie pooh cartoon for 5 years

At least your spelling mistakes didn't show for that job.

Going to change my bedsheets. Preparing for bed. If anything's urgent, speak up before I'm gone.

>>37521916
>You think a basic ability to spell is special?
special enough to miss the whole point boyo
spelling it out for you: "special" enough to think making a gramatical choice that doesnt affect the message at all makes someone less smart

you're as stupid as my boyfriend. you dont realize how superior i am. your retardedness is what made your slut of a gf leave you

>>37522028
Sleep great Nick. Hope your good mood persists.

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>>37516381
Who /selfinjury/ here? I'm still looking for my depressed, qt cutter bf who I can love tenderly. Also, I have a cushy job so I'll pay for all your shit.

>>37522111
self-injurer as well. lamentably im not a qt
not a girl at all actually
hope you the best of luck on your search. the truth is out there

I have never been in love before and I have never had feelings for anyone before.

But now I developed strong feeling for this guy. The problem is, he is gay and he is 20 years older than me. I'm only happy when I'm with him, he is so cute, his smile is so cute. His smile brightens up my whole day. I want to do things with him and everytime I see him I want to kiss him. It fucking sucks.

What the fuck can I do? Do you believe there is a chance he is bisexual? What I know, he never had a gf before...only boyfriends

>>37522208
also im a virgin sagittarius if that's any help

>>37522051
>special enough to miss the whole point boyo

The point was that you felt superior while at the same time having the grammar skills of a toddler. You're smart enough to get the actual point here, champ. Right?

>you dont realize how superior i am.

I sure don't. Because you're not.

>your retardedness is what made your slut of a gf leave you

She was a virgin before me. Not even a nice try. I also don't believe you're a girl.

>>37522111

Kek be praised. I used to cut, so I still have the scars.

And I'm pretty damn cute. What now?

>>37522208
>What the fuck can I do?

I'm in a comparable situation. Here's how I cope:

I bleed.

>>37522208
Never try to change people, relationships 101. Just ask him if he's bi and if he's give up and move on.

>>37522306
hello bb, what country do you live in?

Lordofpriordarkness[at]gmaildotcom

>>37522299
>having the grammar skills of a toddler
except i already dismissed that notion of yours: making a grammatical choice that in no way affects the message for practical purpose doesnt speak at all about grammatical skills let alone intelligence. do you understand now, kiddo?
>>37522299
>She was a virgin before me
kek you really bought into the whole thing didn't you? your whore exgf is gobbling dick 24/7 while you post memes and cry yourself asleep at night. you may be an old fart but you act like a child: pointing grammatical errors online, posting stupid gutter-rate memes and almost falling apart in front of your classes on a daily basis. you're a pathetic manchild

>>37522320
Nick...
Why? Why do you do this to yourself?

>>37522410
>except i already dismissed that notion of yours:

You're not one to say what counts and what doesn't. In the adult world, if you spell like a child, you're more than likely one. There's nothing you could say that would change that. Deal with it.

If you were not so immature, you'd understand this very obviously, but it's easier to defend your inferiority than to grow up and learn actual skills.

I know that hurts. Your problem.

>kek you really bought into the whole thing didn't you?

That's going to make you really upset, but I know she was a virgin. In a very practical way. You'll never know or understand, but some mysteries aren't for you.

>almost falling apart in front of your classes on a daily basis. you're a pathetic manchild

Too bad you thought that would hurt me, it only shows how base you're willing to go to have an effect on me. Rest assured, having demeaned yourself this much, I feel absolutely no harm from your cute attacks.

And I have absolutely no shame about any of my symptoms. Just like I would feel no shame from bleeding due to a knife wound, I feel no shame from losing it due to harsh circumstances.

You still can't capitalise like a grown up. Stay cute.

>>37522494

I'm not doing it. Not literal bleeding, mind you. Some situations force you into suffering.

>>37522361
>Just ask him if he's bi and if he's give up and move on
How do I ask it without making it obvious that I like him? Hehe...he is 40 years old and everyone in my family knows him.

Bed time for me. Take care y'all.

>>37522580
You too Nick

>>37522505
>In the adult world
in the adult world only idiots that dont have any other way to argue point out "grammatical errors" that are clearly choices on the internet.
>but I know she was a virgin. In a very practical way
she bled some, she told you it hurt. kek. you dont know women at all
>it only shows how base you're willing to go to have an effect on me
says someone who chooses grammar as his very first line of attack. like i said, you're just a kiddo
>Just like I would feel no shame from bleeding due to a knife wound
>compering your childish bohoo antics to a knife wound. i didnt know you were a comedian

anyways enjoy crying yourself to sleep at night and try not to drown on your own tears, boyo

A bump as the thread might not make it thourgh the night, otherwise.

I'd say there's not a chance of it making it through the night. It's done so perhaps once, to the best of my recollection.

>>37523159
>>37523401
I think I might have things to say to one guy here, but not the mental faculties to artuculate them, it is one in the morning where I am, fuck.
So, I d like he tread to make it, but whatever.

>>37523679
there will be another thread tomorrow. Nick does them daily and if he doesn't someone else does. if who you want to talk to is one of the regulars you'll see him back here tomorrow

>>37523679
You needn't worry about missing your opportunity.

taken from reddit

Think of your mind like a big room containing on one side a large window, and on the other side, a fish tank. The window lets you see and think about the things that are right in front of you, while the fish tank houses all of your worries and negative thoughts. There is one fish for for each worry or bad thought. When we feel anxious, it's hard to look out the window, because our fish are making a huge ruckus. The fish are flipping out, splashing you, trying to get you to pay attention and feed them, and you can't help but watch.

And when they really get to you, and you HAVE to do SOMETHING, you feed them. Feeding them is what you do in your life in a rush to alleviate the anxiety. For some people that may mean checking the stove a dozen times, staying home from a social situation, or quitting a job/school. Whatever negative thing you DO, that's feeding them.

Feeding the fish, of course, provides some temporary relief. We feel a little better, but that doesn't last. Every time you feed the fish, the fish gets bigger and eventually wants even MORE. You become used to the idea that if you feed the fish, you get some relief... and a vicious cycle is born.

But when you have such active, annoying, angry fish, It's just too hard to turn around and look out that window very often, if at all. You can't help but at least LOOK at the fish. This is anxiety: when we focus on the fish, and not the window. And you know what? It's okay for you to look at your fish. It's okay if you don't feel like you can ignore them. You will learn, eventually.

First, though, there are some things about fish tanks you should know:

1) Everyone has a fish tank. Literally everyone. And everyone looks and everyone feeds on occasion. Some more than others.

2) Fish come and go. Some of them die off after a while, some of them reproduce and create new fish, and sometimes a new one hops in the tank from seemingly nowhere. That's life.

>>37524722

3) And most importantly, the fish are TRAINABLE. If you train your fish well, they will end up being a very helpful part of your psyche. Again, more on that later.

[Step one: Watch Your Fish.]

I know how badly you want to ignore them, get your mind off of them, and look away from the tank. If you have a moment of calm, then by all means enjoy it. But when your fish begin splashing again (when you feel anxious), just watch the tank.


Visualize every worry that goes through your head as a fish. You can think up its color and shape if that helps. Watch it swim by, and if it's throwing a tantrum, let it. Acknowledge your fish (worry, negative emotion) calmly. Recognize that it's swimming around, doing its thing, and that's what it does. The fish believe they are doing their job. (Remember, your fish are useful things when trained properly!) The fish aresupposed to be there. They are just being fussy.

Don't worry if you feel anxious watching and acknowledging your fish. That's perfectly natural. Just say to yourself "Oh, that's a silly fish (thought) I just had. Okay."


Say that to all of the fish that pass in front of you, and try to keep calm. It's important that you try very hard not to give in and feed them. Instead, do something you know calms you down. Take a prescription medication (vallium or clonazepam, for instance) to help. If you don't have a prescription, you can take two benadryl-- it has a similar effect. Take some time to color. Have a nap. Go for a walk. Look at something you find beautiful.

And when they splash you and you feel that pang go through your chest, KNOW that it is okay. YOU are okay. Acknowledge your fish (emotions, thoughts, worries) and, as before, say to yourself that it's silly. The more you tell yourself that they are silly and are nothing to be concerned about, to more you will begin to believe it, and the truer it will become.

>DON'T drink
>DO take vallium
Was trying to take it seriously until this point. 'Feeding the fish' is always a self-soothing mechanism and that runs contrary to the later advice. So no thanks, it's not working for me.

>>37524737
>. Have a nap

Nothing says I've given up on today like having a nap

>>37525350
>hurr durr I'm too stubborn to take meds
there's nothing wrong with starting off on training wheels, what's the rush?

serious question I've never used benzos

reason why people tell you not to self-medicate with drink is it has abuse potential and it's not

>>37525780
kek just noticed that, this was written by a normie maybe they don't have bed-ridden episodes

I've noticed I've been recreating a series of traumatic events from childhood involving parents over and over every 5-7 years.
It seems to reinforce my defenses but so far it has always ended the same way and it's not doing me any good.

I can not want to be free from it even though I should want to be. It feels inescapable which is familiar, I can't let it go and yet I must if I want to be free of it. I've read about solutions to this problem and they are so utterly unacceptable that it flat out can not be done.
I'm nearing 30 and I reckon time is running out if I am to get past it.
My will is not my own, getting past it would mean starting with nothing while keeping it would maintain an illusion of relevant mastery of the familiar repetition, perhaps someday resulting in a positive outcome of the events.