if you need to vent, get something off of your chest, or just talk to another human being, you are welcome to post in this thread.
i will try to respond to whatever you decide to post.
i will not judge you. i will not hate you.
i only wish to listen. to understand.
because everyone deserves to be understood, right?
maybe not. but i will try anyways.
feel free to post any image you would like.
maybe consider posting someone (or something) you like a whole lot.
always remember to eat your fruits and vegetables, friends. it's good for you.
I'm really lonely and feel stuck no matter how hard I try to improve.
I've done more in the past two months to progress than in the last five years or so.
Yesterday I hanged out with basically my only irl friend and he looked extremely bored around me.
He continued to talk about his own trio of pals, I felt like such a loser.
I don't want to go outside anymore. Just stay indoors to rot away as stinky hikki.
Indulge in 2D and forget about the world around me.
In order to maintain my sanity.
I feel normal now. Exercised today. Perhaps this is the end of my depressive episode?
I just need to keep repeating to myself that my brain is lying to me. It's torturing me. Polluting my thoughts with garbage. Life is bearable.
I may be single and a nearly kissless virgin, but one day, when I'm healthy and feel better about myself I will have no excuses for being unable to find someone. I'm not retarded, I'm not deformed, I have high IQ and born to wealthy family in the first world (completely unfair, its sad that I could even complain).
Just felt like saying that.
>>37501886
Congrats on your progress. Change takes time, but if you turn it into a routine it will unfold by itself. Never take a day off, never skip. Also, you have a friend which is so much better than starting from square zero, with no friends, like so many normies here are.
If you worry your friend is bored, next time come prepared with something to do. Does your friend like games? Maybe bring a board/card game, teach them how to play. Or you could bring a video game over, something fun and cooperative perhaps?
Do you do any drugs? I can't recommend (I can't do drugs for the sake of my sanity), but maybe you can talk your buddy and his normie friends into tripping on something? Could foster a friendship between you and them.
>>37502105
>like so many normies here are
derp, meant to say robots. reee
>>37501886
that's pretty tough. most of the time i just feel like giving up and rotting away by myself too. but focus on the progress you have made. doing more in 2 months than you have for the last 5 years sounds pretty impressive to me. just keep at it and you'll be alright.
and if the friend you do have keeps making you feel bad, maybe it would be better to not be friends with him. having bad friends or friends you don't like is a lot worse than being alone. trust me.
>>37501947
good for you anon. i have many of the same things you have, and just remember that it's easy to feel guilty for things like that. but it's pointless to ruminate on how unfair life is, or how you don't deserve the things you're lucky enough to have been born with. it's better to just accept it and move on. you can't change those things. you can't give them to someone else. so you might as well make the most of it, right?
>>37502105
Thanks. I already have implemented it as a daily pattern but sometimes the depression does get to me. As a result I lose motivation to keep improving because I keep thinking that there's no point. I will always remain at the same state mentally.
It's difficult to find something to do because we are both still relatively young and therefore live with our parents that are unusually overprotective. So no access to vidya for now. I'm moving out in two months so there's still hope I suppose. But I can't shake off the dullness I displayed. I'm not clever nor witty. Just an anxious mess who freezes up over everything.
I'm not interested in drugs because I already am in the process of losing touch with reality. Knowing myself, it's guaranteed I would end up abusing the shit out of it. Been trying to stay away from that path.
>>37501785
Hmmm. I've been feeling as though everything is dull. Which is totally odd because usually I find things fun and exciting. I've never been depressed before? So I don't think it's that. I have a ton of hobbies, so that isn't it either. It's so annoying.
>>37502448
that's depression. try not to let it bother you that much. or do. it's your life, not mine.
I asked a girl in class today to give me pink eye by opening her asshole and farting in my face. Was this a good move?
comfy pictures. is this thread a regular thing? if it is, i should start visiting r9k more to participate on it.
>>37501785
I'm frustrated about politics and the fact we're only going to get more cucked makes me want to die
>>37504245
Yeah this wasnt really appropriate for this thread sorry...
>>37501785
I have a crush on the conniefag. Too bad she thinks I'm a creep. Oh well.
>>37501785
I just told a girl that I have loved for years how I felt.....She read it and never responded.
>>37504343
Oh my gosh, really? That's so sweet of you to say. Maybe you're not all that creepy?
>>37504374
I think I came off too strongly and asked too many questions and it ended up creeping you out. I don't really think I'm in the place to say if I'm creepy or not but I think there are a lot of people out there that are a lot more creepy than myself. I kind of wish people would be nicer to you. I hope you know not everyone here is like that.
>>37504535
>I kind of wish people would be nicer to you
Literally same. And yes, I know not everyone is like that because there was a couple anon(s) who said they love me for whatever reason. I don't know? It's flattering really, and the insults don't faze me. They make me laugh.
>>37504587
Your posts are pretty cute so its understandable that something like that would happen. Its sort of a breath of fresh air to see you post rather than all that "REEEEE NORMANS GET OUT" shitposting.
I'm going to go to sleep, have a good night connieposter.
>>37504759
I'll definitely remember how sweet you were to me. I'll be around, feel free to chat me? I hope you have a wonderful night too. Thank you by the way.
>>37501785
I might not attend my own graduation because of an autistic tantrum. Tippity top kek
>>37504091
i don't think so. maybe try a more subtle approach next time.
>>37504171
thanks for the comfy picture friend.
>>37504245
politics is definitely something to be frustrated about. i don't blame you.
>>37504343>tfw no one has a crush on you
>>37504849
sounds like you're okay with it at least. it's always good to make light of things in bad situations.
I feel like I can't get over depression because it gives me a strange comfort. I blame almost all my failures and regrets on anxiety or depression, and while it is a serious problem I have, I can't justify everything I do because of it. I eat whatever junk I want because it's "comfort food", I smoke and drink to make me "happy", I don't go out with friends because I'm "anxious". It's a horrible hole to get out of. And now that I'm trying too, it doesn't seem worth it. Would being fit and potentially having friends or even a gf be worth more too me than Pizza or weed?
>>37504368
Ouch. I've been feeling a need to tell this one girl I love her for two years now. At one point, I think she actually knew I did even if I never told her. I would be too anxious to text her that though, what did you write to her?
>>37504920
I just said how have loved her for the past 4 years. i was all fucked up when I wrote it because im to much of a coward to tell her when im sober
i just want her to text back desu
>>37504920
i wrestle with the same dilemma friend. i think you really just have to decide if you want the short-term satisfaction of drinking, smoking, eating junk, wallowing in sadness, etc. or the possible longer-term satisfaction of having friends, family, a partner, a good job, etc.
whatever you decide, i wish you good luck.
>>37505006i'm waiting on someone too friend.it should be any day now...
>>37501785
I need to get some sun, but I don't want to/like to go outside
I feel as if im losing my sanity
I feel like my emotions and thought process is changing for the worse
I can't even talk to my online "friends" because my behavior has been changing
Before I had no will to live, now I really have no will to live
charafriend #2 reporting as per usual
Got lazy today and forgot to do a lot of important shit, so I'm feeling kinda guilty about that. Otherwise things are doing better than usual.
>>37501785
>>37505469
Alright, which one of you is the fag that made the Chara tulpa?
I'm in this weird relationship thing and I don't know what I want from it. We only talk online (but met irl) and it's been 3 years of hot/cold, friendly/flirty/nonexistent.
I'm worried I'm ghosting him a bit but it's because I'm bad a bit autistic about that and forget to talk for weeks.
I don't know what the best move is now, keep it casual and friendly, or nut up and go for it? I'm not even sure I want that, sometimes I think I'm more worried about what he wants.
Dammit it feels like a rut sometimes because it's been so long, but I also feel like such a pussy.
Got out of the phyc hospital a few months ago, and I am on the road to being six feet under, or locked back up again for what would be the sixth time. Nothing works, it is all up to me to figure out how to deal with my problems, and I am running out of solutions. I am in a hole, and I have tried everything to get out, but when I finally climb out I fall back in again. This has been happening over and over and over for all my life. Im broke, unemployed, and despite being surrounded by a loving family, I am lonely. Really, at this point, I look at life in the future and all I see is misery, despite looking at all of the awesome things to. Why even fight, there is nothing to fight for. I know one thing for sure, if I am going to do it, it will be the last time.
>>37505234
i feel you anon. i hope you find a way through.
>>37505469
good to hear friend. just keep going, even if you forget to try some days. that's all you can hope to do.
>>37505505it's me. but progress has been kind of stagnant and i'm going to put them off for now.
>>37505606
just do whatever feels right to you friend. don't do anything you don't want to do. you'll know what is right.
>>37505957
keep fighting the good fight friend. i believe in you.
and i think that's it for me today. feel free to keep posting, i'm sure someone will read it if not me tomorrow.
goodnight friends.
>>37505505
Not me, I'd be too scared.
>>37506027
Thanks anon.
But I must warn you about tulpas. Once you create a tulpa, they are a part of you forever, and can affect your personality. I can say that I've known two people who have created tulpas, and both now claim to have mental issues since their creation.
What also doesn't help is Chara's unfortunate backstory. If you do go on to finish the tulpa, make sure it emphasizes their best parts, ok?
See ya tomorrow, be safe anon.
>Those few late spring/early summer days
>air is warm but there is a light breeze
>green grass, full trees, blue sky
>birds chirping, leaves rustling in the wind
>petals lightly floating through the air
>smell of cut grass and growing flowers
I live for those days. Every year it gets harder and harder to reach those days but when I do life is momentarily good.
>had friend from IRC since 2012
>he's from Texas, I'm from Norway
>polar opposite places we're from
>good buds as can be
>going to visit him this month
>also going to other places in the US
>fucking kick-ass vacation I've been planning for years
>spent all night talking to him and his GF on facebook video chat
>many good feels from being his friend
>even his mother remembers me from back when we used to fuck around on teamspeak
aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM SO HYPED
>want to play autismblox online
>dont know of any servers that allow pirated clients that arent shit
can I post this very comfy song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-zZD8qULiE
also I'm pretty sure I'm in love with my best friend, I need help, I cant seem to like other girls
:(
you are now my favorite anon
can i kiss you anon
>>37501785
I genuinely don't know if I can deal with the soul crushing depression that i've been going through. It seems like no matter what decision I make. How naive of me to think my problems would dissipate from my life from a move a couple states away. Your problems will follow you no matter where you go, you will always be stuck as the same drug addict fuck you were born as.
>>37501886
Yeah, I know how that goes. You try to get out there and sometimes it goes well and sometimes you feel like you never should've tried.
Take care of yourself, man. It's okay to retreat for a while.
>>37501785
Soon I'll probably never see my oneitis again and I really wish I could tell her how I feel about her. I'm torn between trying to keep in touch with her anyway and hoping I get a chance with her someday or just trying to forget her entirely even though I know I'll probably think of her for years. On another note I'm starting a (non-sworn) job at a police department tomorrow and the urge to start dressing and acting like a wannabe cop douche is overpowering.
i hate myself
i want to be a girl
my mom gets too drunk
my brother is an ass
i wanna die
>tfw do nothing but sit around playing video games and jerking off all day
>tfw was supposed to graduate this year but i failed and have to repeat
>tfw start trying to lose weight, 2 months later and i gained it all back>tfw small penis
i want it to end
I've been told to vent and so I will.
>Always the smartest kid in the class, could take in and remember information virtually instantly
>Then get accepted to Private School on scholarship after English SATS near perfect scores
>A month into Private School I am bullied by my peers. Have no friends because I live in the North of England and being smart is bad.
>Get bullied to the point my bullies stab me, hit my head with a brick, and get into fights with me on a nearly daily basis. School says it's the "Rough and tumble of the playground"
>After this my attendance goes from 100% to 42% for the year.
>Pretty sure I suffered brain damage, as I now exhibit ADHD symptoms. Can't focus for more than 5 minutes without losing interest.
>Flash forward 7 years to A-Levels I have near daily stress headaches and nosebleeds from the bullying. Find out that crossdressing and wishing you had a vagina aren't normal.
>Go to therapist, get told I'm referred to a GIC. No response for 2 years, even after call ups and different doctors trying to contact.
So I'm a depressed, transgender, ADHD idiot. When I was about 11 I heard a game called League of legends was coming out soon, play it to deal with the overwhelming suicidal thoughts. After basically 7-8 years of playing it straight get Diamond and make some friends at my school because it's a talking point. But still my past echoes.
So here I am at the end of the vent. With a girlfriend and friends. Getting told being trans is fine while all of my internal senses tell me to kill myself and to trust no-one. My ability to learn ridiculously quick is still here but gave me a superiority complex that drove any friends away really quick. And recently I was diagnosed as a Sociopath by my therapist. I don't even want to kill myself because I don't feel sad. But I don't feel happy either, I'm just an apathetic shitstain cruising their way through life. at this point my suicide would probably just be to the benefit of everyone around me.
>>37501785
Why am I so different than others
Why does my severe social anxiety have to ruin my social life and everything I do
Why me from all of the shit ppl out there, I never hurt anyone :/
>>37506781
amen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AckhnLpwceM
I'm looking at pictures and it just makes me feel melancholy. I came across some adorable pictures of my cousin and I and it couldn't help but smile at how close we were, we were best friends from preschool until middle school. I guess it's more yearning for my childhood, but she was an irreplaceable part of it. Now I'm sitting alone browsing an anime image board all sad-like and haven't seen her in a year, although last time I saw her she wasn't much better. I still love her with all my heart despite how shitty we've become as people.
Nothing is really bad in life.
School is passing by just fine,
I have friends that I trust within my circle and outside my circle,
There's a girl that likes me,
And there's a girl that I like. But I'm a miserable loser that has almost zero confidence to actually do something about her. There was a time where we talked (based on her interests to get me with another girl) and now nothing. We acknowledge each other's prescense, but we don't talk. Maybe I'm the pussy in this, I'm just simply out of it.
She's perfect. And please don't bash me for "having friends," or "having a girl who actually likes you." While it does feel nice having all of that I still feel like dog shit, knowing that I'm probably not going to last through this summer without feeling miserable and depressed.
I texted this girl for a day and I got her to like me to the point where she went on a date with me. We went to the science center in California, might not sound so romantic but it itself was very fun. We made out most of our time there and all was well, I thought I found someone to love. Backtracking to before we went out on the date, she was very enthusiastic when we would text each other. She would use emojis and long drawn out words. But now, after the date was over, the next day, she started speaking very coldly. She wouldn't initiate texts, and I would try and make her happy. I feel like I found someone to love, because I don't see her as someone thing to fuck, but someone to spend your life with. I let my autism spill out in the few times we do text and i think I reached the point where she must think I'm too weird or clingy. I wrote a poem for her (I know), I call her beautiful, I try to interact with her the most I can in my busy day; but I think I won't get her this time robots. I don't know whether I should keep on trying to win her affection back or enter a deep state of depression but eventual recovery. What should I ever do. Plus, she isn't looking for a relationship, she is focused on her work/study. but I would imagine she'd want someone to spend time with, something I would gladly give her.
>>37501785
I wish i had a gf that actually cared about me and thought of me all day and night , i feel like always wether It's a crush or a gf i've had i'm the only one who gives a flying toss , i hope it changes soon and whoever that special girl is likes comics too
Canecanelasasasa
>>37509116
Hope it goes well for you brosko, give everything you want a shot, don't live with regrets, who knows If tomorrow you'll lose the chance to speak up to that girl
I feel like I am just in cruise control in life, thankfully I have no money worries and such and plenty of time to do whatever..I feel so empty inside and lonely, I don't really have any real friends I can rely on, obviously no gf, the thing is I don't want a gf for sex, I just want someone hold/hold me and cuddle. Thinking about these things is so painful, this is why I drink.