What's the spergiest thing you've ever said?

>>37493619
I told a cute classmate boy that I was in love with him in the form of a sonnet. I'm a boy too...

>at phone store
>gf is getting new phone number
>lady reads out number
>they both say it's hard to remember
>I chime in
>"not really, it's actually quite easy. The first section is times the second section equals the third section minus the first section"
>they both look at me like I stepped on a cat
>wander off and browse phone cases until she's done

Stared at a girl for half a year then asked her out at the end without previously talking to her.

Someone take this memory out of my mind

>>37493619
That was close (to my friend)
>when i was talking to a girl and she showed interest on me but i didn't respond (now i realize she was waiting for me to ask her out)

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>>37493619
Told my friends I'd just fapped with a girl over webcam. I though they'd be really impressed for some reason but they were really weirded out.

Yeah, I have issues in knowing what's normal and what's not.

>>37493685
damn boy you must be good at calculatin things in your head
in envy you

>>37493698
How did she react? I take it she said no, but was she grossed out or did she politely turn you down?

Not the worst I've ever sperged, but probably the most recent example:

>in university
>working part-time as a deliveryfaggot
>it's a short-term deal since I only want to save a bit of money
>manager is an acquaintance from high school
>we generally get along but he's terrible at job
>constantly under-staffing on every shift
>every night he asks me to stay over anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 hours

>have plans one night
>tell him sorry, but even if we're getting slammed I can't stay
>he says I don't have a choice

>ask what the point of a schedule is if I never actually know when I'm working until
>he blibbers and blabbers a bit

>got way too angry and started yelling at him in front of customers
>tired of having my labor exploited and time wasted because he can't assign staff at appropriate intervals
>fucking suck of bending over backwards to help out so the restaurant can make an extra $50 while I get paid below minimum wage

>he says he'll fire me if I don't shut up and stay
>tell him to fire my faggot ass and that I don't care what some random hillbillies think

>mfw he shuts up and doesn't fire me

Nothing because I know whatever comes out my mouth will be inappropriate so my inhibitions prevent me from saying anything at all. It makes talking to strangers very difficult as conversations always ends in awkward silence.

>>37493712
Not really, I was kinda surprised with myself. I just like patterns. I have so many autistic moments
>talking to black girl at uni
>she's flirting with me
>talk changes to what type of girl/guys we like
>I say I like really pale girls
>she says "oh I guess I'm not your type then"
>reply with "oh no, I think niggresses are attractive, kinda exotic"
>her face goes sour
>mood changes before she leaves for class
>2hrs it hits me what I said

>>37493786
Lmfao same i just stfu because what i say is fucking terrible most the time. People ask oh why dont you talk....cuz im a fucking asshole thts why.

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>is your birthday gonna be the same time next year?

>>37493619
In 9th grade someone called patamon a pokemon and I yelled out without any sort of warning: "PATAMON IS A DIGIMON, YOU AWFUL TURD. HIS NAME ENDS WITH '-MON', NO POKEMON NAME ENDS WITH THAT. THIS IS VERY SIMPLE STUFF, PAL."
Everyone looked mortified. And I think it was because it was both embarrassing, and usually, I am painfully shy and never am that loud.

>>37493650
I bet he was gay too.

>>37493728
>Uhh, I'll be busy

It seemed neutral. She seemed responsive to me in a positive way in the weeks after but the initial rejection depressed me and I dropped out. I was 14 at the time to put this into perspective.

>>37493619
I sperged out about how shitty the AR-15 is once.

>>37493619
"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children"

yeah /pol/ really took advantage of me when I was lonely

>>37493975
>yeah /pol/ really took advantage of me when I was lonely

Just like they do with everyone else, anon, don't worry

>orbiting cute girl I bare!y know in highschool
>She mentions something about a boy stalking her
>try to be witty and say "I don't blame him"
>everybody looks a me weird and I just walk away
>I somehow repress this memory and only remember now because a friend reminded me years later

>>37493650
But that's cute. What did he think?

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>get qt crush a hat with her name on it

>>37493705
what age were you and your friends? unless you were in primary/elementary school they should have been impressed or not have cared.

>>37493879
Everyone was mortified to find out patamon is not a pokemon, not because of your heroic stand against normalfags.

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>>37493879
>THIS IS VERY SIMPLE STUFF, PAL

>>37493619
HAI!
HAI WOOWIE

I've threatened to kill people when they've insulted me and then threatened me.

Honestly though it's just because most people don't stop acting like assholes unless you threaten to kill them. TV has dulled everyone's sense of consequences.

>>37494272
am i being autistic if i don't understand why this is spergy?

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>>37494272
>get qt crush a hat with Chad's name on it

>>37493619
>Doing work experience
>This weeb girl is doing it too
>Walk into break room one day to see her crying her eyes out
>Debate walking out but decide to say "what's wrong?"
>"My grandmother died recently, it's too much for me to cope with" (crying continues)
>"Ahh...So when's the funeral?"

She just mumbled a day and I left

>>37493807
>niggresses
lmfao what the fuck mate

post more

>>37493685
3456645 I love my number. won't say the country code tho.

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I was pretty retarded up until mid-high school. I have a few things of note.

>Be in middle school
>Be a narufag
>I idolized Naruto because "omg soo relatable"
>some kids were talking about normal stuff and laughing
>some kid says the word "assumption" and everyone is laughing
>I remember "assumption" was said in Naruto
>I conclude that I must do something
>I didn't actually know what it means
>Me: "Assumption is a serious word. Don't make fun of it"
>Group looks at me and just stops talking
>after class I realize how autistic that was
>stopped watching Naruto after that

mfw I think about it

>>37493807
>niggresses
This is why I always think before i speak

>>37494659
You could have completely redeemed yourself by offering to go with her to comfort her

>>37493807
top fucking kek
original 3323

>>37493737
You did pretty good desu you asserted yourself

>>37493619
>be me, 7th grade and hormones are through the roof
>I don't know what is appropriate to say because aspie
>tell cute girl in short shorts I want her pussy
>"ew oh my god wtf anon"
>get ridiculed by the entire class
>I don't know why
>entire school years are ruined because of that moment

>>37493619
>hold open door for qt
>they say "thank you"
>I say "you too"

>>37496595
>you too
every fucking time
I know that feel

>>37494223
Like Jane Austen wrote, it's only cute if it was made by someone you already have feelings for, otherwise it's just awkward shit.

>>37493807
Damn son, holy fucking shit.

>>37493619
i was playing chess with a pretty good guy
when he was 3 moves from being mated i yelled "keikaku doori"

>>37493843
Pls diee

The fuelss

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>>37493619
>''Y-You too''
Twice. In the same conversation. With the guy who'd decide wether or not I can keep my job.

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>>37493619

>walking around in the mall
>get to burger king
>first time there
>burger lady asks me what i want
>"uh n-normal menu"
>she laughs at me
>"there is no such thing as a normal menu"
>whatnow.jpg
>"oh. o-ok ty"
>walk way as people behind me laugh
>they were still laughing at me
>get home and cry

>>37493807
You better believe she posted that on facebook afterwards

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>>37493619
sorry if my English sucks
>at a military celebration
>see that guy with a strange beret (see pic related)
>Oh thats the beret of my country's mountain troops
>ask him few questions
>said he was in the military in the 50's
>my country was at war in the 50's
>asked him if he fought in the war
>"no but most of my friends did"
>asked him with a childish smile "did they died" ?

>>37494994

In all fairness assumption is a pretty serious word

>>37493619
I said "thank you" to a bus driver as I was leaving the bus....but the driver had gone out for a smoke.

So I said thank you to an empty seat.

This is something i did, not said, but anyways.
>sixth grade, sitting a couple of tables away from crush
>start gazing at her like i sometimes do
>she turnes around and sees me looking
>well shit. Try and pass it off as me staring into space
>half a minute goes by she's getting a weird look on her face
>shitaintworking.jpg
>she goes red in the face, i go red it the face. Both look away.

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>>37497443
You showed no mercy, Anon. Absolute wasteman.

>>37496438
Should have waited a couple of more years for that comment

>>37493975
What's autistic about that statement? If an black said "we must secure the existence of our people and a future for black children" no one would bat an eye.

>>37494659
The fact that you said "when's the funeral" isn't so bad, what's autistic about this one is the fact that you just left right after.

>>37497409
This is why i hate ordering fast food

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>>37497491
>saying thank you to the bus driver

>>37493705
Either you said it in a weird way or your friends are just as autistic as we are.

when i was little i once talked to some adultst at some concert, and i wanted them to see mee as older than my actual age. So i pointed at my cup of coco and said:
>this coco has a realnice orgasm
they all just stood there confused asking me what the fuck i was talking about.
In my head it worked as some adult sex joke.
But its just came off as some weird yippy kid with a coco

>>37494700
>>37495618
>>37495684
>>37496728
>>37497410
Holy shit. This is the most (You)s I've ever gotten

Delivering pizza
>shitty night, had two prank addresses already
>get to house
>guy storms out as yelling about being late
>I'm tired and dgaf tell him to just take his pizza
>as I go to walk off he keeps yelling at me and saying I'm not going anywhere
>give him the finger and drive off
>get back to work, manager pissed
>guy called up and complained about me
>manager chewing me out, I already finished 30min ago
>"whatever, fire me if you want but you'll be the one to suffer"
>meant he can barely run the shop without me
>walk out and go home
>ff 2 days
>knock on door
>it's the police
>fuck..
>ask me where I was last night
>really nervous, full autism recollection mode
>"I was at home, eating cereal naked watching porn, mostly hentai, whilst masturbating"
>cops give me the look
>I don't realise and keep going
>"I watched about 5 episodes of one series and 2 of another. I started after I got home from gym at 4:30 so I was at the computer until at least 8:30 including clean up time. After that I showered and played some dress up games. Do you want to see my browser history?"
>awkward silence for 2min
>"sir we just wanted to know if you saw anything suspicious across the street"
>"oh...."
>more silence
>"no I didn't see anything"
>"well, let us know if you remember anything...relevant"

>be University undergrad
>onetis is a girl from my philosophy course. We've talked Irl like once before this
>in room playing Xcom
>suddenly get a Facebook notification
>holy shit it's her
>"come to my room rn"
>assume it's some party
>head down to Onetis' room
>guy playing as fox suddenly gets all anal
>head up to bathroom hear fapping noises
>mum into succubus
>head into bathroom heat fapping noises
>.
>onetis in bed
>guy playing as fox suddenly gets all anal
>mum into succubus
>hear fapping noises

>>37498320
Well heres another (you) for the extra story

>>37498374
it was only funny the first time

>>37493807
>when you spend too much time on /pol/

>>37497409
this is how social anxiety is formed

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>>37493619
I was drunk in a house party, for god knows why this girl was hitting on me, we were having a great time, laughing and what not, i actually had a chance, but she wanted me to buy an expensive vodka (grey goose) because she disliked beer, it went like this

>*raises drunk voice*
>I'M NOT BUYING THIS EXPENSIVE VODKA JUST FOR YOU
>LIFE IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS
>LIFE IS NOT THAT HARD THICK COCK YOU SUCK EVERY OTHER DAY WHEN YOUR MOM GOES GROCERY SHOPPING.
>IT'S NOT!
>LIFE IS DARK ASSHOLE THAT WAS ONCE PINK BUT NOW JUST RECEIVES LIMP FLABBY DICK
>everyone looking
>the guys laughing their asses of
>she just stood there blinking tried to process what happened
>soon she went to another group and never came back
that's how i lost my chance of losing my virginity.

>>37499039
Lol, good job anon. That's actually pretty funny. So what if you didn't fuck the girl?

>>37498320
I refuse to believe anyone is actually this autistic. Holy hell

>>37494994
I don't get what your reasoning was at all

>>37497773
Hey, everyone does that in my country. Don't bully him.

>>37499199
You have no idea anon, I'm alright 90% of the time but if my brain gets overloaded or I notice something my mouth works faster than my brain can react. It's like situational autism

>>37493737
this is not sperging

>>37498320
lmao
this sounds perfect for an alibi
just pretend to be autistic as fuck

>>37497409
i legit dont get this half of yall are overreacting

>>37498320
another (you) I haven't laughed in a while

>>37493807
Thank you for BTFOing that bed wench. I find it hilarious when those self-hating bitches realizes white guys despise them

>>37499039
Cheer up anon, at least you taught her a valuable life lesson

>>37493619
"What day is the fourth of July? I don't remember.
What's so funny?"
I do shit like this all the time, why cant I just be normal?

>>37499199

>I refuse to believe anyone is actually this autistic. Holy hell
Nigga, you're on 4chan. Home of the autists.

>>37493619
>at uni playing cards with three other dudes
>trio of girls come and ask us some bullshit poll about popular perception of psychologists
>they are cute but I'm about to win the game, so I want them to go away. I write a few answers as quickly as I can and hand them back the questionnaire
>"Okay, here you are. Goodbye!"
>Awkward silence. Then I realize the other 3 dudes ignored the fucking paper and where flirting with the girls while I wrote mine
>They resume their talk like I didn't exist
>Already said goodbye, so to be coherent I just sit in silence fiddling with my cards for the next half of an hour while the guys try to get in their pants

>go to bar
>someone is talking about their friend who's mother died
>saying she's gone off the rails since her mother's death, in a bad way
>for some reason my brain frazzles out can't think what to say/feel awkward
>'Haha that's pretty funny'
>He looks and me and says 'no it's not.'

I'm 32 years of age ffs.

>>37493619
Dunno. My entire life was one long sperg. Can't even remember details or specifics. Everything fucks up naturally.

>>37501094
Now it is in.phone 4ever,and I will send it to my gf and talk about (you)
Pls moar

>>37493786
This.

I know I'll say something stupid so I try not to say anything at all.
Better to stay silent and be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

>>37501354
Thanks for the you, here is moar for your trouble
>Be in eng class talking about Dante's Inferno
>As usual i did my "force way into someones friend group", so i'm sitting at one of those square desk setups with three chads
>Talking about the circles of hell and the teacher says "does anyone have ideas for different circles of hell"
>one guy jokingly says "can someone say one for feminists"
>i say i will
>he says thanks, this makes my autism think he actually means it
>raise my hand and say it
>teacher is like wtf
>classmates are like wtf
>The guy who jokingly told me to say it looks like he wants me to die
Atleast this was the catalyst for me learning to not say shit at all

>girl sits on lap
>ho ho ho, what's your name little boy

>>37494272
That's really, adorably cute.

>>37501522
This is funny tho

>>37501053
Please leave, underage black child

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>>37501555
I was born an underage black child

>>37501094
>>freshman in hs
>>not from high school area so i don't know anyone at all
>>try to force myself into someones lunch table by acting as fake friendly as possible
>>everyones kind of weirded out by me being there and shit gets awkward and quiet
>>someone says "this is boring, wat do" or some equivalent
>>i say "how about spin the bottle" because i thought the grill sitting next to me was cute
>>do i really need to say what the atmosphere was like after that
>I regret this so fucking much i'm gonna delete this post after ten minutes. literally not even the worst thing i said in hs though

Recorded for posterity so you can't hide it

>>37501555
I like how you think I'm black just because I said nigga.

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>meet a cousin for the first time at a family meet up
>accidentally say "cya" during the introductory hand-shaking

still haunts me to this day

>boardgames at Christmas
>roll dice: 3
>Card: 'list something something three something harms you'
>autism kicks in
>misinterpret to the question to be asking about three forms of self harm
>list off 3 forms of self harm in under 3 seconds
>everyone looks at me awkwardly

well, it wasn't my proudest moment let me tell ya that

>>37501739
Nobody on 4chan uses that word, I swear there's an influx of normies

>>37501715
YAMEROOOOOOrginial

>>37493619
Every day it's something new. Our minds are just like those customer service recordings that only know how to respond to preprogrammed questions and situations.

I'm getting worse for fuck's sake. Every year that goes by I find myself clenching up and giving nonsensical responses more and more during routine interactions.

>>37493619
HI WOUIE
ETSUBOTSU

>>37501880
POSITION

>>37497582
I would cringe

>>37501206
did you at least write that psychologists are fucking crooks and they will never be able to understand the human mind and their attempts to do so and name and classify every action you take is pathetic.

I was obsessed with the George Lopez show when I was in grade 7. Would literally say his catch-phrases out loud like "Wahpah!!!" and random Spanish nonsense.

>>37501953
did Mr. pill man hurt you

>>37502049
no, just reading about psychology all that shit is a joke. I mean I went to a shrink a couple of times, but I hate people trying to get in my head so I just fucked with her for a couple appointments and then told my parents I was better.

Plus the girl I always flirted with because she was cute and modest and funny and all..whatever, but then she became really interested in psychology and became a tumblr thot

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>be me
>3hours ago
>at me mom's house because turbo balding fat normie brother's blob of a tumblr GF's birthday
>family getting ready for her 22nd birthday dinner with is hamburgers and hotdogs and beans and salad
>mom setting her gifts on the table
>brother [ age 25] is playing pokemon sun on his 3ds and turns on his FAV show 'le bangzanga show'
>hear a sex joke coming from the tv
>he laughs HUEHUEHUE *INHALES* HUEHUEHEHEHUEHUE
>his gf jiggles a bit
>smuganimepicture.jpg
>ask his brother is his gf has had sex before while she and my mom are in the same room
>'who said that and why did they be askin'?'
[brother and his GF both have a goybook/windows10 but rather use their phones more than their comps]
>an anon person from 4chan and he was just wondering
>'4CHAN!? THAT HACKER WEBSITE FULL OF HACKERS THAT STEAL YOUR INFOMATION AND HACK YOUR STUFF!? I DUN WUN EM HACKING UP MY FACEBOOK AND BE STEALIN MY CARDS!' my mom said
>brother and mom are yelling about le scary deep web ooga booga website
>try to tell my brother that risk of being a cuck
>he does not care if he has to raised someone else's kid and he would had known if she got banged before because he been with her for 7years
>mom goes crazy about being racist and calls me rude
>done.png
>walk back to my place when they were gunna say grace then sing her a song

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Mine is probably when I used to rant about jews to friends
>>37502015
That's pretty bad anon

>>37502191
yeah anon you're not wrong
women love psychology for some reason and throw away thousands of dollars for degrees in it that are worthless in the end too

>>37502273
I rant about jews and im serious but everyone thinks i kidding because I'm usually really sarcastic so I get away with it

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r9k autistic stories originario

>>37501781
>Nobody uses that word here

lmfao holy shit

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>>37502404
more r9k autistic stories origno

>>37502337
I mean I don't really get it, like as a bachelors before going to law school or something it makes sense, but they all want to go on to get psych PhDs which is a stupid waste of money, like how many shrinks do we need. Like I'm all for studying what you love, but with the cost of a degree, college isn't really about educating yourself and pursuing knowledge as it is about securing a career anymore.

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I asked my crush of she thought I was creepy

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>>37502432
another autistic tale

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>>37502260
>'4CHAN!? THAT HACKER WEBSITE FULL OF HACKERS THAT STEAL YOUR INFOMATION AND HACK YOUR STUFF!? I DUN WUN EM HACKING UP MY FACEBOOK AND BE STEALIN MY CARDS!'

>>37493619
>first day of high school
>was total loser of entire middle school
>now is my second chance, i look normal, now i just have to act normal
>be in gym orientation sitting in bleachers
>hot girl behind me with 2 other hot girls says "hey anon you look cool, want to be friends?" or something to that avail
>instantly sperg out and yell "HAHAHA yeah sure but I must warn you I can seem a bit boring at times but I am not really boring more like just the silent type HAHAHA"
>i said it in such a retarded way that they have a look of "oh dear GOD what have we unleashed" on their face, a look of utter disgust
>i turn around and face away from them, realizing i have failed once more
>i notice everyone within a 15 foot radius heard me and is staring at me like a freak
jesus...the memories...

>>37493737
Honestly don't know if you posted this to get your ego jacked off but that's pretty good. You wrecked the dude.

I only match with fatties on tinder, not even ugly skinny chicks AHHHHHHHHHHH

>>37496861
laughed really fucking hard even before I googled "keikaku doori"

have a (you), don't know why you don't have more

>i finally get a friend thanks to my brother being cool
>go hang out with him at the mall with his hot younger sister
>for some reason i go "hey anon watch my cool karate kicks" and start karate kicking and jump kicking in the mall hallway in public with people all around
>him and his sister look mortified and start retreating down the empy hallway leading to bathrooms/offices
>i chase them down
>start saying "whats wrong? whats wrong?"
>they say "whats wrong?? you are acting like a freak doing random karate kicks in public"
>i say "thats not a big deal come on it's normal behavior"
>never see them again

>>37501317
Should have told him humor is subjective and you don't care what he thinks.

>>37499039
>the guys laughing their asses of
actually sounds great, you got appreciative laughter too

>>37502452
Lel and how did that go over?

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>>37493737
The only thing wrong with this is if you actually said "fire my faggot ass". Otherwise sounds like a total Chad moment

>>37502437
>getting a psychology PhD
>not even getting a degree in counseling
>end up jobless

women can do everything a man can do ammirite

>>37493619
>i lift because i want to leave a pretty body

>>37501781
>nobody uses that word on 4chan
lmao you have autism

>talking with cute girl in hs
>She says out of nowhere "I wish I could find a guy who knew how to tie me up, everyone's terrible at it"
>Awkwardly say "s-so you're into bondage?"
>Another guy comes into convo and says "keep it in your pants Anon",
>Find out later shes a switch
>I'm also a switch
>Could have had a chill BDSM relationship if I just said something like "you know I was in boyscout"

>>37493619
>Go to the pool with my dad
Note im not at the pool with anyone else
>having a pretty nice day it's sunny :)
>dad walks over to me in the pool
>"Hey take care of this kid he's messing with me"
>I say something like haha because I thought he was joking
>Start to realise he wasn't joking and the kid is saying "stop duddee" repeatedly while my dad is walking towards him

>I don't like confrontation so I be my autistic self and go to the edge of the pool and lay my head down and close my eyes

>The confrontation between him and the kid wears down

>He walks towards me and tells me to come with him and confront the kid

>I stay at the edge of the pool and don't come with him

>he swims away for a little

>he comes back and basically but not literally calls me a pussy

>later in the car he explains what happened between him and the kid the kid asked for a high five and my dad high fived him and the kid said fuck you

>my dad started to get mad and the kid told everyone in the pool my dad was a creep and my dad was trying to touch him

Some things
Im 16
The kid/kids was like in junior high

>>37502792
the other big meme degree was physical therapy. Every ho said they wanted to go to some party school for physcial therapy. Like bitch you are borderline obese

>>37502906
bitch I will timber hitch and square lash you to your bedframe

>>37502945
>"you are borderline obese"
anon you're not wrong

>be son of abusive father who didn't send me to school til 3rd grade
>be first day of 3rd grade, never been to school before
>don't even know ABCs, and a wild kid who only knows the forest
>release a giant fart that even to this day is unmatched by my adult self
>everyone stares at me including the teacher, with a look of shock on her face
>too stupid to know i should even be ashamed
>get on bus to go back home, literally shit my pants on the bus, pants full of diarrhea and the bus driver is yelling "WHO SHIT THEIR PANTS? WHO SHIT THEIR FUCKING PANTS? TELL ME RIGHT NOW"
>i remain silent
>get off bus and i know my dad will beat me if he knows i shit myself
>take off my pants and throw them in the woods
>dad isn't there thank god, change pants like nothing happened
>get sent back to 2nd grade when it becomes apparent i am for all intensive purposes academically retarded
>get private tutoring the entire year and finally catch up enough to be in the proper grade
100% true story.

>>37503085
btw looking back i think i shit my pants because i was exposed to a new world of bacteria and such from never having been in public before, so my immune system wasn't ready. my dad didn't allow me to have friends up til i left him after 5th grade

>>37503058
excuse me what. Are you thinking of the same really specific example of an annoying tumblr girl as me

This was pretty decent

>Co-worker I'm sort on good grounds with is describing symptoms of her illness
>Someone says look it up on WebMD and they say no because it's inaccurate
>I mindlessly say "it's cancer" when what I meant was "they'll just say it's cancer"
>Turns out the person I said that to is a cancer survivor
>I get called into the office by the manager and written up

>>37503124
yeah, in gym class every fat whore says they want to go into either massage therapy, psychology, or physical therapy

>>37503161
even the original answer you came up with was turning sperg mode
gg anon

>>37503162
I've also heard music therapy. I really don't get some degrees, like is it just rich parents, getting token scholarships so fuck it study whatever, or thinking federal loans are free money?

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>>37502686
She just said "no" in the most awkward fashion and we didn't talk for the next few months (we barely even talked in the first place) despite sitting next to each other in two classes for the whole year

>>37502344
same with me, but i dont say it sarcastically.

>>37503632
neither do I, like most things I say sarcastically, to the point where I start to believe myself sometimes, and everyone that knows me knows I do this, so lately ive been able to drop in shit I actually believe in and my real views and I get away with it. I actually discovered my one friend from conneticut that I thought was pretty liberal is actually woke af

>>37503161
How is this sperging? ou just casually said "It's cancer.". And it was, but that only makes you unfortunatly right. Not weird or creepy or whatever, how is this bad?

People say that this board is turning into normie land but this kinda thread makes me a bit less worried.

>>37497582
It is socially unacceptable to talk about white rights.

>>37493737
You have to fuck his mom to make it official

>>37494179
that story has stand up comedy potential

>>37501473
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

-- Socrates

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>almost only ever attracted to Asian and sometimes latina/native american girls solely because of facial features (not literally because of their race)
>try to explain that nuances of this to a girl I was friends-becoming-more with
>she's smart, but being obtuse. "but not all asian girls have the same eye shape," etc
>"it's not any one feature. it's a constellation of possible features i find attractive that are very common in some groups and rare in others"
>and on and on

that whole conversation. everything I was saying was sensible but I still sounded like a weirdo. she had decided already that I was the "asian fetishist" bogeyman and nothing I could've said would've changed that, so I was just digging the hole deeper. if I had lied and been like "yeah, you're right, I'm attracted to you because you're asian. i know it's bad but i can't help it" it would've been better. at a certain point it was obvious she understood what I was saying but was more turned off by how much thought I had apparently put into explaining it.

Lol you don't know real sperg until you're tripping sack and trying to order food

>>37502639
They sound boring as fuck lmfao

>>37497409
this is why i don't go outside anymore
I let my hair grow out becuase there is no "normal" haircut
Fuck normie service personell

just today i was so nervous talking that it didnt make any sense.

>>37497520
I dunno what you are talking about, this is kawaii as fug

covfefe xD

chad

>>37496861
kek thats what happens if you watch too much anime.

>>37493619

I told a girl that her body was hotter than the surface temperature of Mars. She laughed in my face and told everyone in the class.

I meant that a human body's temperature is hotter than Mars but it came out like that. I tried to impress her with a cool space fact and she mocked me. This is why I don't speak to girls.

>>37498320

straight up the best way to get out of crimes

>>37507256
you don't speak to girls because you're inept anon not because they shut out your ebik space factz

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>>37496861
i'm cryin

once told a girl I used to have phimosis but I fixed it if she wants to find out

didn't work

>family at grans house for mothers day
>cousin just got a tit job
>she is showing everyone
>sperg out and say ''id fuck them'
>silence

>>37508343
your whole family is fucked up, what did they expect with new tit job parties?

>>37502741
"Well, sir, with all due respect, it looks like you're just going to have to FIRE MY FAGGOT ASS!"

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I'm just going to post my text conversations, I blame my last gf who texted instantly all the time.