June 2nd, 2017 What's on your mind, darling?

>>37459429
Cant truss no1

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>>37459429
WHERE'S THE COFFEE DONNY?

>Get a text message from a friend
>Dont touch my phone for a few days
Its not that it give me anxiety, I just dislike people messaging me.

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>>37459429
Waiting to for the Dark Imperium pre-order to drop

IF YOU DON'T MAKE A COFFE THREAD I WILL MAKE ONE ON YOUR BEHALF

Been stressing / worrying a lot for the past couple months. However right now, feel like everything is going to happen as it's meant to, I can finally chill a little and accept the shit that's out of my control. Feelsgoodman. Really needed a break from my head.

>>37459429
Dojins aggravate me. My tastes are too different to the nippon norm and I notice endless niggles in their content.

>every doujin involving muscular women is shota on woman or woman raped by slobs.

>birth, egg-laying and rimming "focused" content is limited to maybe 2 panels on one page

>90% of "yuri" involves cock

>the bulk of shemale content is straight shota

at this point I can only really enjoy japan's trap exports and that kind of annoys me

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How much money I am not making by not investing in bitcoin already

>>37459526
If two people don't trust one another, they're locked in stalemate forever.

>>37459681
Until they kts

>>37459673
tfw I remember when they were given out 50 bitcoins for signing up.
I didn't bother to take the 30 sec
WEW

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>>37459563
>>37459581
It's in this bottle.

>>37459574
>call from anyone
>stare at phone in fear
>occasional voicemail
>can't bring myself to listen to it
>decide to just turn off phone altogether and stow it in drawer
>mother tells me to turn it on

I've been on a downward spiral of pain and misery, my whole life is a sick joke by god, forcing me to suffer physical pain no human should ever experience and mental pain worthy of Asylum treatment, I have no reason to keep living, I have no will to keep living but I keep living anyway. Why? Why do I torment myself with my own existence, it's pointless. God I wish I had my old life back, I'm a broken husk that just keeps getting stepped on and broken down more.
Basically my average Friday, how are the rest of you doing?

>>37459586
Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.

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>>37459671
I love milf and trap doujins, I see where you're coming from. Is exhentai the holy grail of the highest quality works? What's your all-time favorite?

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>>37459978
people praise exhentai, I've only started using it more recently and find it to be a dumping ground without care for quality so I can't comment on it's worth. What I tend to use is tsumino and yaoi haven.

My all-time favourite would be pic related. I'll drop another i'm deeply fond of if you have a care to reverse search them

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>>37460077
Nothing gets me feeling lewd quite like this one

>>37459740
thought you said you were abstaining from it now

>>37460077
I tend to use tsumino and nhentai, they seem the most reliable. Recycled content is everywhere and digging through the mediocrity is a necessity
>>37460143
Thank you!
>>37460150
Yes, I fill it up then trek down to the creek to dispose of it, as a cathartic, spiritual renewal of the self

>>37459673
Our friends over at /biz/ have the finest intuition as to what crypto coin you should be investing in right now

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>>37460179
It is, that however is something doujin has on us. Even some of the worst nippon content has a generally higher base quality. Enjoy the traps

>>37459429
that 2017 is already half way over

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>>37459429
My birthday is rapidly approaching and my mother called today to let me know she's taking it off to come and visit. I suspect it'll be like every other time she's visited and she'll just spend the whole time on her phone only occasionally stopping to backhand compliment me, but I'm still nervous as fuck and don't know if I can handle it. It doesn't help that I have literally no one else in the world to acknowledge it's my birthday so I'll likely just spend the day drunk and crying to myself wishing my dog could talk more than the voice I give her when I'm feeling autistic.

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>>37459844
Nice double.
We can escape through non-dual states, dissolution of subject and object. The boundaries we usually experience no longer exist, the observed and the observer. People can train to experience it through meditation. They call it "cessation".

only 4 more days to get my paycheck and after a whole year of self loathing i'll go back to the gym and this time i won't give up.

>>37460179
>Yes, I fill it up then trek down to the creek to dispose of it, as a cathartic, spiritual renewal of the self
can you please take a video of this act?

>>37459978
Believe it or not that one is in my top three

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>>37459429
Imagine, hundreds of years of generations.
Spanning between dozens of countries.
Lawyers, politicians, doctors, geniuses, veterans with years of history and experience.
All of that, ending and disappearing because I didn't get a gf

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>>37460396
Your mother pities you, but if she didn't care at all, she wouldn't bother to visit. You can handle it. You don't want to be completely alone. Talk to her about how dissatisfied you are. Her maternal instinct is still there, and you could possibly talk things through.
Happy early birthday, anon

>>37460621
Think of all the ways in which others are successful and how their simple-minded decisions are effective and especially in retrospect appear to be ideal. Consider that you're overthinking because you are the stupid one without a clue. It's like some people succumb to self-analysis and only sink deeper into depression and uncertainty, whereas others, highly successful in life, have never self-analyzed nor doubted themselves and but laugh at the notion.

I'm always tired now and I kinda just want to take a dirt nap and not have deal with dumb bullshit anymore.

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>>37461076
>Your mother pities you, but if she didn't care at all, she wouldn't bother to visit.
Her boyfriend pities me and fears her not seeing me since he's lost his own son and she's afraid to loose his favor. I'm not even joking the other week I invited her out because I was so lonely and he was more willing to come out than she was, he straight up told her if traffic or waiting was a problem he would drive her out and she rejected him over the phone, it was sad as fuck, she's even decide she's coming tomorrow so HE (not her) can give me a present (as in she gives no shits but he does). And then on my actual birthday she's basically already told me that he's the only reason she's coming out again so soon on her own. I'm nothing but a regret she has with a man she despises.

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>>37461237
About 6 years ago,, I used to be able to have really vivid daydreams. I'd lay in bed at night and go into my imagination. I'd be able to play out stories, I'd clearly see backgrounds and facial expressions. It got to the point where I'd do it every night and couldn't fall asleep without doing it for an hour or so.

Now I can barely keep anything going past 5 minutes, and it's much less vivid.

>>37461312
Her boyfriend has a guilt complex and your mother is unreachable emotionally. Is it worth humoring the situation?
Detach yourself from them. If your mother takes any initiative to contact you by her own volition as you remain silent, you will then know if there's any genuine care left.
Spend the day with your dog. Go on the most grandiose adventure you can muster. He won't leave your side, and he'll be happy to go anywhere as long as it's with you.

>>37461506
I'm still dependent on my mother to pay half my rent until I graduate or I find a non wagecuck job, and I wouldn't call it a guilt complex so much as his son passed away while he could do nothing about it and he feels guilty the whore for some reason he loves doesn't interact with hers. As for going on an adventure on my own I don't know, I'm sure this sounds like bs on /r9k/ these days but I may be legit autistic I've never once my entire life had a real friend. As much as I hate to admit it my mother and my father when he isn't working his normal 7 day a week are my only interactions, anything else gives me panic attacks. My only friend ("friend") has to arrange to see me well in advance or else I simply can't do it. Like it or not I'm too fucking weak to turn her down this will likely be my last response before I fall asleep/pass out but thanks for taking the time to acknowledge me anon.

>>37461673
I hope you find solace, anon. Rest well
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9J27RaDr5M

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>>37460445
Now you have to succeed, since the hopes and dreams of your cute younger sister are riding on your success. If you fail, those dreams will fall from above the clouds and become a beautiful red decoration on the landscape.

Where do I start... I was actually fairly popular in highschool but most of my friends turned out to be thugs so I ditched them. I'm not exactly a perfect person myself but these dudes were pushing murder status but on top of that my Girlfriend offed herself last year and after that I've completely disconnected from soceity. I'm not talking "oh I'm too shy to talk to people" no I'm legitimately fearful of making relationships. Outside of work I probably haven't communicated with another human being in 7 months, the only thing that keeps me going is browsing this place(going on 11 years). Which just depresses me more when I see how your lifes have turned out. I feel my only reason for being here is proving that I'm not like the others, that my life isn't just a statistic but honestly it's hard. I don't know where I'll be next year but I just hope it's not underground, I don't know why but something tells me to keep going. Despite literally all signs telling me to stop I still find reasons to get out of bed, I don't know if by social standards I'm the biggest loser on this site but I can tell you one thing. Just by pure life quality no one can compete.

>>37459429
I feel like I was meant to die 4 years ago>>37459429

>>37462569
It wasn't your time, the reformation of your spirit has not happened.. When it does, you will not transcend, only continue.

A person I haven't spoken to in years that I have no logical reason to be missing so much but I continue to everyday and still want them and I probably haven't crossed their mind in a very long time. Thinking something is really mentally wrong with me for this and don't know what to do.

>>37463131
I'm also dreading the future more everyday. My life is currently a dead end in most prospects.

Getting a lot of attention at work after a promotion, even ran into one of the owners and he said there's a future for me at the company

Despite that I got hit with a heavy feel of tfw no gf tonight.

I should be happy but I have no one to share this with but my family. Wish I could tell a girl about it.

Last time I saw this thread it was at the beginning of the week, and I had a 2 presentations, 2 exams and an oral exam.
Well I'm pretty sure I failed the 2 exams and the oral exam, but I got through it anyway. Wednesday I had a migraine the entire day, the stress just got too much and I cried in front of an acquaintance.
Despite failing 3/5, I'm really optimistic. That massive pressure of day-to-day obligations is over, even though now I wake up in a panic because I think i'm missing an exam I also feel it's done wonders for my work ethic. I want to get everything done immediately so I can relax later.

But! Now all the social pressures are back. On my way back from the last exam I bumped into my apartment mate and we went to get alcohol together, she was asking me details of a party today and I was like "I don't know dude, I just had the most stressful week of my life". I was getting texts from another friend saying we need to do X and X over the weekend before she leaves, and another was blowing up my phone later on in the evening to come to a party.
Call me a normie all you like, but I wanted to throw my phone into the lake. I absolutely hate people contacting me, and before the studying I went into this depressive phase on where I am in life and the fact I don't have a real connection with anyone, so reached out to people, now these people are responding when I don't feel sorry for myself, and I want them to fuck off.

>>37463131
They will remain in your mind forever unless you come across another who can compare to the impact they had on you. The mind latches on to those few resonant people we meet in our lives

E3 is coming soon. I don't even like video games, but the ridiculous circus shows the publishers put on are great entertainment

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Tfw no gf is hitting me hard tonight, just laying in bed and obsessing over my oneitis. I wonder how she'd act if she was in love with me too, she's already such a qt 3.14 as it is. I wish I had a chance with her, but I never did and the fact that I'll be leaving soon without ever getting the opportunity to tell her how I feel about her or even just ask her out is really bringing me down. I'll probably end up like >>37463131 years from now, still thinking of her every day and the life we might've had if things had been different.

Just let the love of my life drive home drunk because she'd rather do that than be embarrassed about the fact that she spent the night at a her (male) friend's house instead of going home to her fiance. She said "alright, well I'm getting married tomorrow. Good night" and leaned into the car to give me the longest hug we've ever had. I knew it would end this way but didn't think it would happen this soon. I hope she gets home alright. I should have made her stay.

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I have to be up for work in about 7 hours.
I decided to go clothes shopping today but got hit with an anxiety attack in the middle of the store so I had to leave. I've felt so lonely lately, even my friends aren't able to help me. I realize I'm only 20 and there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I'm getting so lonely that I can't even sleep at night. It doesn't help that I'm hideous and even my good sense of humor can't change that.

>>37464318

I felt hideous for a while but I've been working out lately and the confidence boost is unreal. Even if I don't know how to talk to girls just noticing the small differences in the way they interact with me is serious motivation

>>37464361
I've been working out more too, but my problem is how much food I eat. I like to eat, and it's becoming a roadblock in how much weight I lose. I feel like even if I work out for an hour, the progress is completely lost within a day.

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>>37464128
Could be worse anon.
I'm in the deep end of that situation. I completely confessed my feelings to the girl I want so badly. But she plays with me never denying or accepting me. Its worse than being rejected I'm just left hanging in unknown misery of unrequited love.

>>37464663
The reason I haven't confessed or made a move is because the girl I fell head over heels for is in a committed relationship. I hoped they might break up at first but the opposite happened. Now all I can hope for is that she doesn't forget me, that maybe we'll meet again someday and we can be together. But at the same time I know I'm only fooling myself and dragging out the heartache.

>>37459429
>A-level exam is in 2 days
>on 4chan

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>>37459429
I'm just tired of everything. Maybe it's time to die.

I can't find a single redeeming quality to life anymore. I hate everyone. I know that makes me sound 2edgy4u but it's true. I want to end all life on this planet and start over. But I can't do that, so I might as well end my own.

I hate this planet. This place is horrible. It's a hopeless hellhole and humans ruin everything they touch. We'll never have anything nice, at least, not for very long.

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Everythin's lame and dull.
I'm having my finals in 14 days and still haven't done a single thing.
Day after tomorrow I have entrance exams on another uni. I'm continuing with this charade bc I don't wanna go to work, yet I'm completely uninterested in the subject of study.
I lack any motivation. The degree won't bring me anything. It makes no difference. It won't get me a better job. I don't even want to have a job. So why should I bother?
This society doesn't reward hard workers and it doesn't reward honest and good people. People tell you "you've got to be tough" but deep down I think everybody knows that how things are is not ok.
Everything's just plain stupid.

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>>37466108
To accept death is to die. As long as you're physically alive and breathing, you have not accepted death. You may not fear death, but to accept is to become one with.
This world is empty. Total acceptance is total emptiness.
To deny is to have.
That's why people always argue. It's the same as saying "I'm alive".

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I have no motivation or desire to be or do anything other than the bare minimum in life. I work a decent enough part time job and that's literally all I have to do. All of my free time is spent at home (live with mom and her bf) playing games or browsing the web. I don't want to do anything other than that and it's enough to keep me content and (mostly) sane. I can never get a gf due to being ugly (bad acne) and have long since come to grips with that fact. I know what I am and what I am can't change. At this point, I doubt I'd even want to.

>>37459429

I'm just repeating to myself "WOW this shit just blows my fucking mind. Just blows my fucking mind. All these little shits here who think they know what true pain is. All these little shits who think they understand the real depths of depression. Just fucking blow my fucking mind with this insight."