Where is your safest public place to shit?

The designated shitting street of course

>>37414712
sup, Pajeet?

>>37414700
The white house lawn, your taxes paid for it and besides it needs the fertilizer.

>>37414712
This
>>37414747
fuck your mother son of bitch

>>37414789
They have enough bs to flood it already.

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>>37414700
Right now I'm scheduled at work to come in like an hour before anyone else, so I usually take a shit in solitude in the men's bathroom

Before this job, I worked in a building where an entire wing of the building had no one in it. It had power and everything, just whoever owned the building hadn't leased it out, so I'd always venture over to it and take a shit. Kinda surprised I was the only one to do it, never ran into another soul in a year

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>>37414700
>at the beach
>no bathrooms
>need to shit
>go into water
>drop trou and lay a guppy
>feels weird man
>surrounded by others
>never suspected me
>mfw turd washed up on shore

>>37414700
>tfw walking home at night
>feel the shits coming bad
>get benath a tree at a park
>explosion of diarrhea
>had to move around the tree because I was afraid of it reaching my feet
>ass is a mess
>don't have any tissues with me
>clean ass with socks
>leave socks on my diarrhea puddle and walk away

>>37414906
wat u sey to me motherchode

>>37414700
if I can't find a toilet, I just shit in my car in a bag, tie it and toss it out the window

>>37415079
>clean ass with socks
Fucking hell, I was deliberating whether to do this once too. Had a pungent yellow diarrhea in the middle of the desert and only one tissue to wipe with, so I wasn't sure if it would be up to the task. If I had used the sock, however, I could probably wipe it clean. In the end, ended up using the tissue and limping home trying to not to plaster shit all over my pants.

The last stolen free shit was on the third floor of a dentist office. I knew there were lockable one-holers in there so I just walked in like I had an appointment or something. Also in the airport I'll use the handicap wide door lockable shitter, and if I take any gas from employees I look them right in the eye and say, "do you know what it's like living with a colostomy bag?" One woman was so embarrassed she teared up.