help me ascend

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>>37403985
part 2 orginsal

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>>37404015
pt3 help me

>>37404015
Reply with >#?

>>37404029
Supposed to be a greentext, but just ask for her number OP, and not in a gay way. Just :'number?' or '#?'

How fat is she? She looks fat

>>37404029
Yeah... and you're going to have to tell her your a virgin. Cause I mean, it's going to be pretty obvious.

Get her number

PLOUGH IT

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>>37404077
maybe a bit chubby but not a whale

>>37404153
That's a fucking Moby Dick matey, stay well away if you want both your stomach contents and your dignity to stay intact.

>>37403985
Fukin normie actually matched up with a grill and got her to respond on tinder
>>37404244
Nah she thicc

>>37404153
>Not a whale
Anon I.....

>>37403985
>>37404153

Why do 90% of girls look and sound like roasties?
I mean no offense but she just looks like a basic normie bitch.

Am I alone in my desire for a pure and possibly autistic gf?

>>37404153
Looks like a fucking fridge lmao

>>37404389
All the more reasons for him to stick his big heavy weiner inside it

>>37404085
Normalfags can't have sex for shit anyways.
OP doesn't say to say anything, really.

>>37404153
You shouldn't have said that

>>37404696
Incorrect virgin

>>37403985
What do you look like, OP? Are you settling for her because you're a fatty too?

>>37404023
have you said more? come on anon give us more

>>37404153
Wow land ahoy there matey

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>>37403985
Here's an example of a successful conversation. Do something similar and you'll be fine.

>>37404153
>flat ass

Big mistake, op. If she had ass she might be considered thicc, but she's fridgemode for sure.

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>r9k being this judgemental of a bit of fat
>why can't i get a gf waaaah
top kek

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>>37404754
just got her number what should i do now? just text her this weekend?
>>37404727
no im not fat im just an autistic retard

>>37404859
yeah she said this weekend, so text her this weekend and see if she's available. if she is, great. you're gonna get laid.

>>37404859
Jesus you have absolutely no confidence - your autism is ridiculously apparent. You don't wait until the weekend, you text her now to flesh out the details and maybe chat a little bit more.

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>>37404916
Im posting here of course I have no confidence you cunt

>>37404801
>switch
>jesters
Southampton uni?

>>37404983
Yeah, you go there too? (:

>>37404859
Don't wait until the weekend to text her! She will be like wtf. I gave this guy my number and he ignores me until the weekend? Start chatting with her through text. Not a whole lot. Ask her what day she is free, plan out details, who's going to who's place, or are you going to meet in public first.

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>>37405085
sent this orbiginal

>>37404983
>>37405035
Don't do this to me, anon, I need to figure out who you are!

>>37405158
Oh jesus fucking christ, this is actually triggering me. Just come up with a plan and tell her - "heeey so would you be down for meeting at <insert bar> at 7pm on saturday?", and then rearrange if it doesn't work for her.

>>37404916
>>37405085
t. beta orbiters

Don't do that OP. Send 1 message now to confirm you have her number. Something along the lines of:"this is x from tinder". Then you ignore her till Friday at that point you can message her again and plan the "date"

>>37405168
I do yeah. What course you doing
small world

>>37405236
Maths with Comp Sci, second year. Yourself?

>>37404801
>I'm just going to be blunt
>how would feel about getting drinks at some point?
That's not blunt, you fucking spineless sack of shit.

>>37405158
Why would you give the girl the option to choose? They hate that anon, you should know better. YOURE the man, YOU need the plan.

>>37404801
She was drunk, doesn't count

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>>37405202
>>37405310
I have literally never been on a date, I have never kissed a girl, i have never even held hands with a girl. I don't even know any bars.

>>37405306
And what exactly would be blunt? I'm asking her out, I don't really see how that's spineless. Care to elaborate?

>>37404801
>successful conversation
>it lasts longer than 3 sentences before you get her number

>>37405202
This. Be alpha instead of asking like a pussy.

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>>37405357
>I have literally never been on a date, I have never kissed a girl, i have never even held hands with a girl. I don't even know any bars.

this should be a very interesting weekend. Wish I could follow along with a camera....

>>37405357
Just say "I'm getting coffee at x, meet me there" then go back to hers and SMASH

>>37405278
Physics foundation year.
Any tips for making friends during freshers? Got off too a bad start this year and don't have much of a social life.
I've got four more years to try atleast

>>37405350
>>37405362
The conversation lasted several days, and all alcohol is is a social lubricant. And besides, that Tinder convo resulted in the best relationship I've had (and probably ever will have) so I wouldn't change a thing about it.

>>37405357
How old are you. just curious

Oregano

>>37405404
Oh that's cool - do you know the physics social rep, Natasha? Where are you living next year, is it halls or you got a place with some people? Yeah, just talk to people as much as possible, and cause you're going into first year everyone's gonna be incredibly friendly and looking for new friends. I'd go out even if I don't really want to, because it's a bonding experience in of itself, and just be friendly to everyone.

>>37405439
I'm 21 original years old

>>37405473
I don't know her, the foundation year is part of the engineering faculty so maybe that's why. I'll be living in halls next year, wessex lane. I went clubbing a few times during freshers with a chad and some stacies, didn't end up being Friends with any of them though. I'll be going into next Year with a better mindset though. Hopefully.
What societies would you recommend for a robot like me

>>37405417
Did you give her HIV?

>>37405417
Doesn't change the fact that you're a beta

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>>37405388
>>37405562
orginaly update

>>37405562
Good luck man, I'm 25 and went through a tinder/okcupid phase at 22. Always got close but was too autistic
ended up fucking a hooker to lose the v card

>>37405807
Sit across from each other but close and play footsie. The romantic version of this would be reaching out and holding her hand, but just try to keep talking and eventually there'll be an obvious point to make a move with your foot. Just try to make soft contact, like even leg to leg contact or knee to knee, but accompany it with a clever remark or look. From there on it'll be increasingly obvious what to do.

>>37405360
>text me your address so I can come over and fuck you

That's blunt mi familia

>>37405669
Oh that's cool, I lived in Monte last year and that was an absolute blast. I even became very close friends with a guy from my flat, and we're living together next year as well. You'll be fine, just go out and do fun things. As for societies, it all depends on your interests. I personally found E-Sports Soc to be a bit too autistic for my taste, but Games Soc is a lot nicer, and who doesn't enjoy board games? Sporting wise, RecBad is really large and their socials are pretty great, so that's a good one to join, but I can't really go anymore because my ex, the girl from (>>37404801), used to be super-involved in it and the committee used to all know her super-well, so it's a few too many memories. Course wise, Tash might not be the nicest person, but she does a pretty good job with the socials. I went to one of them before we broke up and it was loads of fun. Ultimately though, it's up to you - I haven't been to too many societies, so I don't really know what's good and what's not. Go to Bunfight next year, see what's on and try out the stuff you enjoy. Maybe you're into theatre, maybe you're into music - there's a society for pretty much everything.

>>37405684
Yes, I totally did.

>>37405775
And what makes you say that?

>>37405961
Yeah but it's also a lot riskier for something that will almost certainly happen anyway. I honestly prefer meeting up with the person first, cause Tinder for me is less about hookups and more about meeting new people and seeing if I can make something work with them.

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>>37403985


I want to make a tinder. But don't have "nice" photos. And girls don't like selfies

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>>37405958
this seems extremely autistic even for me

>>37405961
>>37406005
Also I did end up actually sleeping with her on that first date - she's the only one of my Tinder dates that I actually managed that with - so there's that.

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Here's another successful Tinder conversation.

>>37404153
She's a.... big girl OP

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>>37405357
>do you ever have the free?

>>37406948
surprised nobody commented on that earlier

>>37406724
reading this is extremely cringey. its hard to believe that this convo led to any sort of intimate interaction

>>37407135
Eh, she's just a bit of a hyper person. She was fun and she was very into me, so we were friends for a little bit, but then I met (>>37404801) so I didn't really pursue it any further.

>>37407135
>>37407164
Sorry, friends with benefits, not friends.

>meeting this fat bitch at a starbrucks

bruh you already fucked up. shes obviously completely 100% dtf. you should have suggested she come over to hang and watch netflix or some shit. or you go over to her place. you would have gotten 100% free sex

now you're gonna have to spend $10 (because your pathetic ass will probably pay for hers too) on shitty overpriced coffee that your autistic sperg ass won't even enjoy

fuck i hate people like you. if i matched with this dumb cunt i'd be dick deep in that pussy by now

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>>37407356
Wow, what a cool guy you are! Please anon, teach me your ways!

>>37407356
thanks for the advice man I really appreciate it, you definitely belong here :^)

>>37406724
>>37407135
Agreed. If a non chad tried this it would be met with "...", "what?" or straight up ignored.

>>37407382
>>37407534
No problem. At least now you faggots know for next time

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>>37407729
But... I'm not a Chad. I'm barely above average at best.

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>>37404801
>>37406724
what the fuck is this shit
match, read the bio, ask an opening question based off of it, and get the number. then plan a meetup. all within 10 messages at the most
t. former KV who went to /fit/ and now has a fwb

>>37408269
You're a fucking Chad.

>>37408269
>6'2
Lanklets and the shit they get away with...

>>37408302
Congrats bro, but I like to drag mine out and talk with the girl a bit more. To each their own, I guess.

>>37408324
What? I'm a video game nerd who loves music and can't play ANY sports for shit, save for the autistic ones like Badminton or sailing. I don't have a car and I don't even have a license. What makes you think I'm a Chad?

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>>37408269
>It's another "tall average dude" is completely ignorant to his standing in life" episode again
>with a few "bee yourself and y-you dont what you're talking about, i-im a r-robot too" commercials inbetween
I hate summer reruns

>>37408387
>6'2
>above average looks
>good hair

you are a chad.

>>37408478
>>37408487
Should I be checking my privilege too? God, this place is the same as Tumblr, just with a different focus.

>>37408583
>God, this place is the same as Tumblr, just with a different focus
congrats, you're finally starting to catch on.

>>37408478
Kek
>>37408583
No mate but these guys are right you are atleast in the top 20%. With your face and a little social skills you could get laid left and right

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>>37406005
>Yeah but it's also a lot riskier for something that will almost certainly happen anyway. I honestly prefer meeting up with the person first, cause Tinder for me is less about hookups and more about meeting new people and seeing if I can make something work with them.
>not using tinder for hookups

>>37406724
Jesus Christ, this reads so smug and emasculated at the same time. I'd never waste more than 10 minutes to write someone up, even less for such dispisable characters like in your screenshots. There is no skill required to articulate yourself in writing - but these woman do not even have that ability -, hence there are no nuances and passion to interpret, while having exactly that in verbal conversations.

Why even bother with this superficial harmony and understanding for each other?

>>37404153


M80, she's fat but she's gonna make you a man. If you're into her fuck her.

And you're right, she's not a whale, will have big boobs and doesn't have too much fat in her stomach.

Fuck her.

>>37406032
I got away with selfies in small population country. Doesn't change the fact I left their ovaries dry and disappointed.

You can easily manage with a selfie especially if it can be seen in a funny way somehow. I have my own secret technique but I need to work on my autism.

>>37408269
OP please let me bear your children
or at least please let me give you my virginity