/britfeel/

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Milk Cat 57

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>>37378713
my longest yeah boy ever to you

>>37378733
Damn that was a risky one. You pulled it off though.

>>37378713
First. I'm voting labour, comrade.

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How much of a beta am I?

>>37378749
>created 2016
fucking casual

Think I'm just going to buy a bunch of crap on Amazon today
I need clothes and I went them now

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>>37378713
>tfw mummy got me ice cream

Normie just saw me browsing 4chan

Fucking tranny was engaged in conversation by other normies

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Faith, you're driving me away
You do it everyday
You don't mean it
But it hurts like hell

My brain says I'm receiving pain
A lack of oxygen
From my life support
My iron lung

We're too young to fall asleep
To cynical to speak
We are losing it
Can't you tell?

We scratch our eternal itch
A twentieth century bitch
And we are grateful for
Our iron lung

The headshrinkers, they want everything
My uncle Bill, my Belisha beacon
The headshrinkers, they want everything
My uncle Bill, my Belisha beacon

Suck, suck your teenage thumb
Toilet trained and dumb
When the power runs out
We'll just hum

This, this is our new song
Just like the last one
A total waste of time
My iron lung
The headshrinkers, they want everything
My uncle Bill, my Belisha beacon
The headshrinkers, they want everything
My uncle Bill, my Belisha beacon

And if you're frightened
You can be frightened
You can be, it's OK
And if you're frightened
You can be frightened
You can be, it's OK

The headshrinkers, they want everything
My uncle Bill, my Belisha beacon

>>37367596

state of the rest of this board lads, almost everyone under 20

This should be the Kieran Black edition.

What a legend.

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>normie sister playing normie music at a ridiculously loud volume

Really do hate her desu~

>>37378792
Well what brand and flavour lad? Don't keep us in suspense!

>>37378987
Carte D'Or - Vanilla

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>step on pair of scales
>error

>>37379021
Ooh very fancy desu! Vanilla is nice but a bit plain imo. Hope you're enjoying it anon~

>>37379078
Yeah, it was very nice

>>37378987
>>normie sister playing normie music at a ridiculously loud volume

guessing its generic chart stuff?

I will NEVER forgive the fine brothers for react world.

>>37379106
Yup, same kind of stuff that plays on repeat all day when I am at work. No idea who any of them are, I'm really out of the loop with normie music. Gives me a headache desu~

>>37378924
I'm 45. and I don't want a cute boi either.

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>tfw ublock cucked me from a 2:1

>>37379164
tell me about your sister tilde

>>37379173
how lad?

>>37379199
She's an overweight failed Stacy who steals money off mummy. I really don't like her~

>>37379164
sounds terrible. when i get a job because i most likely will do after uni, i hope they dont play shite like this. ill end up cracking someone if they dont put decent stuff on

>>37379207
Had to submit a blog you did over the year, but part of the submission form got cut off because of ublock. I just assumed it went through, but I guess it didn't.
Have to write a 1000 word essay now, first year doesn't count for anything either, so it's not even that bad. Just a mild annoyance.

>>37379266
That's a cunt lad. Can you re-submit it? If it's obviously been chopped up the uni should understand that?

>>37379256
You kind of get used to it, I only really notice it if I make a conscious effort to~

What kinds of music do you like lad? Rec me something! you don't have to though lad

you know what song i hate lad? the chainsmoker - closer. such fucking pleb lyrics and it isnt even catchy.

>>37379173
I have a plain chrome setup that I use for important stuff.

Firefox with NoScript, HTTPS everywhere and Ublock Origin for my main browser.

>>37379354
depends on what you like lad, i dont know what to reccomend because im not sure what you're into. i listen to all sorts. i have been getting into the clash lately

Think you're creative lads?

Here's an opportunity in one of the world's best ad agencies.

No qualifications or experience necessary. Doesn't matter how old you are. Even if you've been NEET for 20 years.

http://www.ogilvypipe.com/

Best of luck.

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Daily reminder that not voting is the only logical choice.

>>37379406
will peter only be happy when everything but white christian people in the uk are here and everything apart from working and praying is banned?

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I want to change a bank and in my neighbourhood there is a Halifax, Barclays and NatWest. Which one is good, what do?

I like Halifax's app more than the others.

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>>37379422
Peter will never be happy

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>>37379443
>Not just getting mummy to do it for you

>>37379319
I resubmitted it and sent an email off, but it isn't looking likely.
>tfw the essay I have to write is about why the course I'm studying is difficult and I how I can get over it

>>37379359
That's a good idea, I'll keep that in mind for next year.

>>37379357
As far as shitty pop songs go it's not bad and I don't mean to brag but I consider myself a bit of a patrician when it comes to music.

>it isnt even catchy.

*gently slides back my trench coat, revealing the hilt of my katana*
*sakura petals fall from a hidden pocket that I stitched into the jacket to create visual awe*

I'll give you a 10 second head start, kid.

>>37379446
if hes catholic then he is living life as he should, but he's not very british if hes catholic

>>37379443
If you lose your card, you can go into Barclays and get a new one immediately.

For me, this makes a massive difference.

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Not today, bawbag.

>>37379481
Good feature, but I am an ocd sperg with those things. I never ever ever lose those things.

>>37379470
Just listened to it. Its not bad but it's not good. It won't exist in 5 years. Not worth listening to.

Also I don't need anything fancy, just a checkings/saving account.

>>37379443

>>37379508
I agree that it's not worth listening to but it's on the radio most days and it's one of the more tolerable songs.

>>37379480
I think he's an Anglican

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>>37379386
I like anime/video game music and instrumental stuff like boards of Canada. Some generic indie stuff like Radiohead and death cab for cutie is enjoyable. Oh, and I like Kanye! My taste is bad so I am not too fussy desu~

>>37379443
I am with Barclays and do not recommend it~

>>37379482
You need a normal facebook account for that, full of normal details and normal pictures and timeline posts.

>>37379388
What other jobs are obtainable for long term NEETs, Britnormie?

Watching f is for family lads. Its probably shite but gotta support my boy bill

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>dispose of cumrag
>use toilet paper instead
>now i've got paper stuck to my foreskin

not a HUGE fan of this change desu

>>37379470
>As far as shitty pop songs go it's not bad

i dont really listen to pop songs really, listen to the odd good shit like old Madonna. i have just noticed that it always gets played at parties, and random normies i speak to online always seem to like it, and they will post the lyrics like they are quoting Shakespeare or something. people often sing it in real. this is why i hate it lad. if it wasnt popular, and i didnt constantly see it, i wouldent be bothered.

>>37379236
sounds aweful lad
I'm going to bang your sister

>>37379606
Her scary Chad boyfriend will get you lad~

>>37379529
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txSnquEq2HI

check this out lad. this is what you call PATRICIAN music. proper war music this tbqh. proper jingles here.

>>37379645
Opened it with mummy in the same room and she said she liked it!

>>37379540
Not sure to be honest. That's probably the only one I've ever seen advertised so I thought of my Britfeel friends.

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Dye your hair black

>>37379677
nice lad. got approval off ya mum so it must be good

>>37379771
No point, hair already black.

>>37379771
ive got blonde hair but black pubes and i get a black beard

>>37379810
You probably think it's black but it's actually very very very very very dark brown.

>>37378884

Fuck me! Mollusc music!

>>37379833
I've just woke up and not sure if this is a reference

>>37379872
Father Ted talking about priest's shops being the only place you can buy socks that are truly black.

>>37379890
He said blue though not brown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8VFecEzkgk

>>37379912
He did yeah but that doesn't make much sense when you're referring to hair.

>>37379623
have you ever fantasized about being pinned down and raped by him?

i dedicate this album to ebina and tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp3XMVTFQXo

>tiny speck of pressure touches wire to the speakers
>speakers immediately explode into crackling and interference
Fucking irritating, lads.

>>37379953
My hair is black anyway but I'll check my socks later.

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>>37379388

Here is a screencap just for people wondering

>>37380035
should I send them one of my memes

>>37380035
what is this, a job opportunity or relationship advice?

>>37379388
can I send them the op image?

>>37380035
>loads of beaten down NEETS get excited
>they hire a guy with an advertising portfollio anyway

>>37379467
You proved your point by cutting the end of lad! Good luck anyway, what are (were) you studying?

>>37380128
You can send them anything you want.
>>37380151
They're specifically looking for people who don't have any experience/education in advertising.

we always seem to know what normies want. i-it should not be too hard r-right?

>>37380178

I appreciate the job tip, but I can't think of anything less fitting for me. I'd love a fellow britfeeler to benefit from it though.

I'd say I'm fairly creative actually, but I can't just force it out on a whim, especially not with a brief and a deadline.

>>37379481
how often do you lose your card anon? I only lost mine once and I'm so pissed off with myself because the 3 numbers on the back were the first digits of Pi and my new one isn't so I make sure I've never lost it again.

>>37380178
what if i'm not creative and haven't created anything

>>37380211
What do you mean by this?
adffg

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Just saw a video on normiebook that made me feel smug

>police arrest a kid
>bunch of kids kick off
>one pushes the cop and gets arrested
>kids proceed to assault the police
>bunch of them get arrested

Why would you think kicking the police would be a good idea kek

>>37380216
>I'd say I'm fairly creative actually, but I can't just force it out on a whim, especially not with a brief and a deadline.

same, you cant put creativity on a conveyer belt.
for some people you can tho, im very jelly of those people.

>>37380178
>You can send them anything you want

would they understand the subtleness of the references or would I be going to jail for racisms.

>>37379519
they're all cunts who'll shaft you if you go overdrawn, it's like asking what's best out of syphilis, gonorrhea or herpes.

>>37380251
link us the video anon

>>37379556
I know this is radical but if you wash your dick it'll come off.

>>37380258
Ye, I had to pay a fine once because I went over on my debit card instead of getting a 'card not accepted' during my purchase.. What asshole. But you can't keep the money under the bed either.

>>37380216
Yeah I would absolutely love it if a Britfeeler got one of the positions.

>>37380237
It probably wouldn't suit you.

>>37380255
>same, you cant put creativity on a conveyer belt.

The more you force it, the easier it gets to make it happen on command. It's hard work though.

>>37380290
https://www.facebook com/max.vierling.7/posts/1128123010626780?pnref=story

here lad, just add the . to the com

>>37380255
>you cant put creativity on a conveyer belt.

Actually you can. It takes some effort and time to master but most people achieve it.

>>37379541
https://www.freelancer.co.uk/jobs/Transcription/

You need to be able to type quickly and have a high attention to detail.

>>37380308
Fucking top kek, kids deserve it, they'll get a real awakening of how the world works

>>37379480
>>37379526
He's technically Anglican, but he picks and chooses from both denominations

>>37380310
I know, wanted to be a car designer, was jelly of how they can bash out 10 iterations of one design on request.

>>37380296

How's life generally?

Do you hope to be in the advertising gig for the foreseeable future, or do you have anything else you'd like to do career wise at some point?

>>37380216
There is very little creative about advertisement. There are standard rules and formulas you must follow

Advertising is not an art, it's a science. Every pleb (including you) is influenced by the same things

>>37379541
I quite liked that show, felt like it was written for more episodes, though. desu I have no idea who Bill Burr is.

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my advertisnig submission

>>37380446
What benefits do I receive by buying that drink?

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>>37380308
Kek fucking based police. Kids had it coming.

do you even gain any enjoyment from wanking anymore?

or do you do it out of habit?

>>37380465
if youre buying this drink youre probably already on benefits

>>37380296
give me an idea to send them then

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>>37380477

My sides took quite a beating there anon

>>37380418
I'd love to be a screenwriter. Tough to get into though. What about you mate? What are your plans?

>>37380438
Depends what type of advertising you are doing. For direct response, that's true. But above-the-line advertising (brand TV spots etc) then there is creativity involved. Obviously how much creativity is involved differs on a case-by-case basis.

>>37380471
I only do it so I stop thinking about sex for a little while. All my fantasies are mind control these days which isnt healthy.

>>37380477
That doesn't persuade me to buy the drink

Learn how to advertise, pleb

>>37380520
it says buy the fucking drink what more do you want.

Someone submit truck boys as a bud advert

>>37380377
> I know, wanted to be a car designer, was jelly of how they can bash out 10 iterations of one design on request.

As you work you build up a mental catalogue of "stuff that could come in useful one day" that you've never used. And you work to distill the underlying elements of your peers in the same market as you.

So when you see something new, it's never really 100% new, there are similarities to things you've seen before. And you can rapidly come up with appropriate stuff at a fairly advanced level fairly quickly.

>>37380538
I want to know why I should buy the drink

What do I get out of this deal? Why should I drink your drink and not your competitors?

This is all about ME, the customer. Learn some empathy, and you would have a better chance of selling your shit

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>>37380446
>>37380465
>>37380520
>>37380538

okay I revised for more sellability

buying plant supplies on etsy, i wanna be a proud plant dad lads, be good to get some more green in this concrete hellhole of a bedroom

>>37380586
"Get yer insides wetter" would be a good campaign for Sprite.

You should do it properly and submit it.

>>37380586
Sourced from a natural mountain spring*

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why don't you lads get an online gf? phone sex is great

>>37380625
but im lazy and cant be bothered and many other excuses.

>>37380633
sourced from a tap up north

>>37380497
>What about you mate? What are your plans?

First day of my new tech support role today, was absolutely shite for not much more money (my other job was quite generous pay for van driving). Spoke to my old boss at the other place, and was happy to take me back on as they hadn't got a replacement yet, and new driver always take months to fully acclimatise to all the contacts anyway.

Long term I'm not sure, I used to want to become a translator but I think career wise it wouldn't be that enjoyable. I'd ideally love to do gig based work, I love the flexibility. My car now isn't suitable for Uber, but that's probably a medium-term plan. Maybe if my Chinese gets good enough it might be useful for gigs translating.

There are very few Mandarin speakers in the UK actually, because most of the Chinese people here speak Cantonese, so there is certainly an opportunity there long term.

>>37380644
>same to you

I'm hard now

>>37380446
i like the honesty of it no messing about

>>37380644
I had one for awhile. Just go too frustrating in the end. Some nice nudes though.

fell for the universe will manifest / provide meme.
Wanted job
Start working towards it getting in better shape already dropped 15kg and reading up about it. practicing interview questions.

Pass the generic behaviour and situation tests.
Pass the ability tests (math and english)
fill out a full application get good references and patch up my unemployment gap.
holy shit I might get this

Pass physical fitness tests easily

Interview, Goes well a lot of the questions I expected came up.

"sorry anon we have only a limited number of people we can take in, we have chosen not to take you on"

Can I have any feedback

"Theres not much to give, we just had many great applicants we had to let many good people go such as youself".

Crushed back to square one
story of my life falling short at the last hurdle

really considering eating 3 times daily calories or 4 if I include cola

fuck

>>37380644
WOMEN COULD NEVER COMPETE WITH MY MASTURBATION TECHNIQUIE
ATATATAATATATATAYATATATATA

>>37380571
some good advice that

oxocubeblox

>>37380679
>Pass physical fitness tests easily
what job is this?

>>37380659
Yeah I was thinking when you said that you were moving into tech support that driving a van sounds much more comfy. Dealing with frustrated people all day would be a nightmare.

Being a translator would be great because you can work from anywhere you've got a laptop. That's one of the best things about my job. Get yourself into a position like that and you're laughing.

Plus worst comes to the worst and you can get a job as a van driver for the triads.

>start playing some shit online free game
>two weeks and I'm already ranked in the top 100
>now a bunch of teens (I assume) are trying to get me to join their stupid klans
what should I name my second city by the way? Already called myself Shipman and my first one Elliot

>dog dies
>week later dad brings new dog back home without thinking or consulting with us
>no house training at all
>causing chaos, pissing and shitting inside, trashing the place, climbing on furniture, stealing food, have to lock him in back garden and he starts crying and clawing and digging everywhere, causing arguments in house

Fucking idiot dad didn't think and didn't consult with us.

>>37380644
its not a relationship and not worth the time you put in. i end up ghosting most girls i speak to online because i cba speaking to them because i know it is pointless. ive had a few online gfs when i was a teen and i had skype/phone sex.

>>37380737
Some people shouldnt own pets

Train the fucking thing

>>37380734
are you playing tribal wars or something?

>>37380737
BASTARD DAD

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lots of weeks off and i felt fine. 4.5 hours into my first shift back and my gut feels fucked. wonder if i'm allergic to work.
also post your qt waifus eh lads

>>37380761
yeah its a clever dog but we have no idea.

High on our priority is training him to not snatch food. He is big and strong and will literally jump on top of the kitchen counter tops.

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>>37378713
Don't worry Anon, I'll DEFIANTLY get rid of those icky-icky brown people!

>>37380293
If you're the anon asking which one to choose I'll throw the Cooperative bank in because it's all online and if you want to pay money or cheques in you can do it at the post office. They've been pretty good, the app is sound and they don't charge me for going overdrawn.

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>>37380788
No it's called Realm of Empires.

>>37380799
make him sit down before you give him anything. he`ll associate sitting down with wanting food.

or take it back get refund

>>37380828
his legs are massive so he has trouble sitting down actually, something to do with his breed, but he can lie down ok.

>get refund
no chance lol

>>37380706
firefighter, you do all their tests in their protective gear minus the oxygen tank on the back and helmet, still noticeable how heavy it is on you. heaviest thing they wanted me to lift and carry 100m was 30kg

just spent 500 quid on asos.

buying clothes is the only thing in life that brings me happiness, yet i don't go anywhere to wear them.

>>37380887
I currently have 4 sets of clothes, I really need more but don't have the money for it

>>37380824
should start your own clan lad. think of the power you will have over the kids and pakis

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>>37380887
>mfw I own more sets of PJs, boxers and undershirts than actual outfits
>mfw I only have 2 pairs of shoes and they're both trainers

Seriously considering growing a tache. I'm fair so I'm going after the Murphy look from Narcos.

Worried it'll just make me look like a pedo though.

>>37380883
go for prison officer. Similar tests and level of fitness required, and there's a shit ton of vacancies for it. My local prison had 50 vacancies, I went for it but failed the eye test lol.

>>37380887
me too, i dress better than 80% of normies and on the rare occasions i go out i get completed on how well i dress. still a kissless virgin though.

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>>37378713
>Low mood from being really hungry and tired but its too late in the day to nap and I need to lose weight

>>37380930
how bad are your eyes ?

>>37378987
>>normie sister playing normie music at a ridiculously loud volume
>Really do hate her desu~
Not as bad as a sister constantly threatening to expose your gender dysphoria to your parents

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rank these three, cyborgs or fully fledged normies?

clearly not robots seen as they bang so often.

I suddenly have the desire to get a gf.
Haven't had this desire in three years.

What's going on?
Will this be over when I go to bed?

>>37380927
Tough to pull of these days. Try photoshop or something to see how it looks.

>>37380968
without glasses they are extremely bad.

>>37380962
>too late in the day to nap
its not, I nap now, get up at 8:30 spend 30 mins making tea, then sit down at 9pm watch some tv.

>>37380887
How do you know if they fit or not?

>>37380887
Should I buy girl clothes from there?

>>37380962
Just have an early night then, lad.

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Morning lads

Life really is shit a t m t b q f h

>>37381001

i was mainly buying brands today that i'm familiar with so know how they generally fit.

FUCk lads i hate landlords, not allowed to keep my pet hamster when i move into my new place

who the fuck cares this much about a small always caged tiny animal

>>37381024

sure, why not? they're a bit generic but have a huge range so you'll always find some bits and pieces you like.

>>37380935
im the same lad, not a virgin though but never had a gf

i swear most normies have no fashion sense or they just copy other people because dont want to be different.

>>37380990
I'll check out their requirements for the job, the fireservice was pretty lax about eyesight requirments.

>>37381063
nah they are the same across the board, fire, military, prison, police.

>>37380970
its a hard one. most people would consider them weird and not normal but they are definitely too social to be robots.

im gonna say they are all cyborgs.

>>37381079
ah sweet then I should be okay

>>37380970

They're all weird outcasts in different ways. Jez is probably the most autistic though, Mark's just antisocial, whereas Hans is a drug addict.

>>37381086

Super Hans is a normie/chad, Mark is a cyborg, Jeremy is a failed normie

>>37380976

It's all that summertime cleavage, man. Makes your brain all soft and gooey; embrace it.

>>37381129

are normies crack addicts?

i'm not so sure

>>37381218

normies are drug users though

>>37380970
Jez - turbo normie, borderline chad
Mark - cyborg
SuperHans - drug addict

>>37381129
You can't call Jeremy a failed normie when he banged Nancy. You could put 100 normies in a room and none of them will have banged anyone that good looking in their whole life.

>>37381235

yeah but more socially acceptable drugs like ecstasy and coke.

you don't see people lighting up crack pipes in clubs.

really i need help, how do I teach this fucking dog to not take food as soon as he sees it?

>>37381244
>tfw even the 'losers' on TV get laid

>>37381244
>You can't call Jeremy a failed normie when he banged Nancy.

Ok then, a proper normie, but he wasn't a cyborg/robot at all.

>tfw your humourous thread gets 0 replies

>>37381291

>>37381345
It's ok when they are adults in their late 20s/30s, because to be fair most people that age do get laid occasionally even if they are weirdos/losers.

But the real betrayal was the Inbetweeners. Weirdo/loser teenagers never get fucking laid. To portray them all getting hot girlfriends was fucking sickening. Switched it off and never watched it again.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDebh-Z8LGw

>>37381411

yeah the films were fucking terrible.

the series is still the most accurate and hilarious depiction of teenage life in this country ever made.

i remember how much i hated skins, then the inbetweeners came along and kicked the shit out of it.

>terrorist attack foiled in France
ffs that helps no one

>>37381453
Even in the series, when one of them got a girlfriend it totally spoiled it for me.

>>37381512

eh, it was always hilariously pathetic and ended up with them humiliating themselves and getting dumped.

>>37381512
Him being a clingy weirdo scaring her off was accurate though

Neil getting it on with Saucy Asda Karen was ridiculous though

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Came pretty close to binge eating earlier but managed to ignore it. Quite proud of myself~

>>37380962
If you are hungry then have something to eat anon. A snack of about 200-300 kcals should be fine or maybe even use this as a chance to treat yourself! It is better to eat a little bit more today than it is to binge tomorrow. Sorry about your low mood as well, I wish I could offer advice but I use food in the same way. We've just got to try our best, and britfeel is always here for support!

>>37380969
Yes that is not a very nice thing to do at all! How did she find out if you don't mind my asking Poley?

>>37381032
What's getting you down tonight lad? You can talk to me if you would like~

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>>37380796
>go out of my way to eat takeaways
>still not put on any weight

Does shoutanon still lurk these threads?

>>37381621
same, at uni I ate so much disgusting greasy shit, stayed stick thin.

>>37381630
how do you get a name like shout anon on a voiceless communications interface?

>>37381688
by typing in caps

Did the anon who saw Gorgeous_Girl have any luck?

>>37381762

saw karinna latina instead

I had the trumpet riff to Low Rider stuck in my head all day and only just remembered what song it was. I feel so relieved now.

>>37380644
how many other people is she dating?

>>37381630
I used to speak to ShoutAnon on Steam but he hasn't been online in months. He was talking a lot about suicide the last few times we spoke. Hope he's ok.

>>37380679
you lost some weight at least anon

>finale of TNG season 2
>it's about Riker having a gimp leg
lame

>>37381951
feeling super unmotivated to continue it though now that I failed at my initial goal

>>37381778
>latina
good?

who else is there in london they all seem like spackers desu

>>37381877
no one else you fuckin mong

>>37382050

Yeah awesome.

Check out 'cutest lucy', moistjade, 'tayla brazil', xALEKSANDRA24x, 'spicy julia'.

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Goooood evening, /britfeel/!
How are you all feeling today?
What are you up to?
What's for tea?

Hope you're all feeling lovely and have had a brilliant day no matter what you chose to do!

Had some lovely lemon and pepper sole for din dins, was lush!

Despair husbando anon around? did you get back to your accommodation safely?


>>37380679
This post spoke to me quite a lot, it reminded me of myself not too long ago.

I know it's easy for me to say but you really shouldn't give up now, anon. You've improved upon yourself so much and while it's a shame you didn't get the job that you hoped for, other opportunities will present themselves - you just have to keep doing as great as you are and keep seeking out those other jobs.

I know what it's like when you set your heart on a job and start thinking about what that job will offer you and what you can afford/do etc and it's devastating when you don't get it - but it would be such a shame if you let go now and didn't look to seek out other openings and ways to improve. Please don't give up!

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>>37382012

the cheek on you, lad

>>37382176
oh sweet summer child, im so sorry

>tfw poor
fuck my life honestly

>>37382176
My online gf turned out to have a real life one. Bit annoying but still...nudes.

>>37382343

Yeah, shame he was nutting in her raw.

>>37381024

is that all youre buying on amazon? clothes...poleyplz, to have a proper amazon blowout you have to buy shit that you never thought you needed and you know for a fact youll never use just because it shows up in the "also bought" list

>alarm clock rings
>time to get up and shower
>literally 5 seconds later can hear this 5'4 polish beta manlet fuck jump out of his room and go to the bathroom

Perhaps I should take a 1 hour "shit" in the toilet at 7am when his wife normally takes a shower? that way she goes late or skips it.

That seems appropriate.

>>37382375
Yeah was a shame. I wasnt delusional though I figured it was always a possibility.

>>37382270
cheers for the advice lad, I did get quite invested the closer I got to the end of the process. I believed felt it would be a fulfilling job for myself.

right now as you said Im am devestated/disappointed & a little annoyed (didnt get any real feedback to improve on).

I'll defo try again if/when applications open again however until then Im pretty much lost for now on what to do

Any sexy lads on here got/had a job at McDonalds?

I've worked at ASDA before for a few years but just applied to McDonalds for a better wage and have got interview on Thursday.

Its a drive thru and I should be full time 35hrs at least and working nights hopefully.

But what's it like working at McDonalds?

>>37382396
>read that as alarm cock rings
Reckon theres any market in a vibrating cock ring that wakes you up with a signal from your phone telling you its time to get up? It ould even play radio music as well.

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>>37382396

You should gradually start putting up photos of shipman around the place, in the kitchen, in the hallway, in the bathrooms etc.

Eventually he will research who it is, and will become scared enough to move out

>>37382270
>How are you all feeling today?
I honestly dont know
>What are you up to?
watching TNG
>What's for tea?
Just had chicken and veg

Stay golden lenlad

just been thinking about how one of the girl i dated started to ignore me after i had a word with her because of how apathetic she was being. the fuck did she expect me to do? she would of been annoyed in my position. i swear, some people are immature as fuck. i had a go at her for ignoring me and then she tried turning it around on me. state of some fucking people. i may be desperate but i would never fucking date someone that spoke to me like a piece of shit.

>>37382467

the stupid cunt's a beta fuck who does 100% of the cleaning in the shared area.

I literally just walk around in shoes in the kitchen when he's there to piss him off, he spends 7 hours a day hoping for human interaction so he might as well get some.

He's a beta fuck who has to put paper notes crying to take the trash out/don't wear shoes in the kitchen/living room etc.

He had the gall to ask me to clean once, I was like "yeah ok" and never cleaned at all.

fuck that potato inbred, he spends 7 hours a day there he fucking does all the cleaning.

>>37382396
>2017
>Getting showercuck'd
Hope you like slippery seconds mate

>>37382550

His wife will enjoy not being able to shower at all.

Also when I'm done and do some random shit in the bathroom at night I make sure I have my shoes on and am fully dressed.

He does all the cleaning in the bathroom anyway, so he can enjoy that.

Just been for a run again, I'm going to be the fittest friendless neet in the world.

>>37382396
He's shitting and showering whilst you're lying on your arse. You sound like the beta here.

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Blow up cities

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deLLq60lZaA

>>37382626

Yeah well he's gonna have to clean up everything while I do jack shit, let's see who gets the last laugh.

Best part is on friday he mops the floors/hoovers/bathroom/whole house etc while I just casually walk around ignoring his presence as I get my snacks or get ready for the gym.

fucking slave race, learn your place.

>>37382595
calm down ebina lad

>>37382595
Good job lad! How far did you run?

so lads it finally happened. I just accidentally drunk my own piss.

I picked up my piss bottle instead of my water bottle, took a swig and was immediately greeted with a horrible salty taste. I then spat the lot out all over myself and the floor. Now I'm sat here covered in and stinking of week old stale piss.

Tbqh I've never tasted piss before. Bit disappointed it had to happen like this, but I try and value every experience.

>>37382674
calm down lad. you dont want to be done as an accessory to a crime

>>37382698
I haven't run for a while desu, I'm thinking I should now

>>37382674
>tfw you enjoyed the jinping meme but the poster just got himself into serious trouble with the police

>>37380644
had an online gf as a teenager for 5 years

I put it down as one of the biggest reasons my life is fucked up beyond repair

>>37382710
This should be the incentive to dispose of the piss bottle and relearn how to use the toilet (adult potty)

>>37382437
Oh yeah I understand that feeling for sure, and when they pussy out of giving feedback like that it really doesn't help.

What kind of job did you apply for? Are there other jobs like that you could apply for or other fields?

>>37382516
Chicky tea and TNG, that sounds comfy as fugg, anon.
How far in to TNG are you or are you just watching a random ep?

Stay awesome, anon!

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>when mum makes an offhand joke about leaving your dad without realising the day she walked out was probably the most upsetting and confusing of my entire life

>>37382723
just be yourself lad

you're a beast.

>>37382734
why? tbqh i think im going to marry her

>>37382768
you need fucking sparking lad. sort your head out you gimp

>>37382700

Just under 3 miles. It makes me feel better about sitting at a PC for 10 hours a day.

>>37378749
>mac
fucking kill yourself you hipster nu-male cuck

>>37382768
might want to find out if she actually feels the same and is faithful before saying things like that, this is the internet

>>37382768
Lad serious question how old are you and are you virgin? Dont set yourself up for heartbreak

>>37382768
it's not going to happen

I thought it was going to happen for 5 years, literally turned irl girls down because I was so delusional, and then of course she got bored of skype sex and fucked off to take some dick, while I'm still a virgin because I passed all the crucial opportunities by while I had the unconscious confidence around girls of someone with a gf, and I was so heart broken after she left that I turned into something completely undesirable to girls.

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>>37382794

not the anon you were replying to but i am actualyl pretty jel, i go for bike rides sometimes and if i take it easy i can stay out for hours on a mountainbike, but i cant even run a mile without my legs near enough collapsing underneath me and feeling like death, well done anon

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>>37382753
>How far in to TNG are you
just started season 3. Tis a comy thing indeed.

>>37382808
Have you ever actually used a mac for any length of time? macOS / OSX are great. Yes their hardware is overpriced but it just werks. Windows is fucking shit and literally malware at this point.

>>37382859
Don't worry about him lad, he's just lashing out because he's a poorfag who can't afford a decent laptop and has to use some 400 quid windows piece of shit.

>>37382734

Details plox

I had three IRL girlfriends as a teen and I could barely muster the energy to go see them on the weekends, such was my melancholy. As such your situation is totally incomprehensible.

>>37382794
>3 miles
I'm quite impressed desu. I used to go running and could just about manage a mile. How long have you been running for lad? Good to hear you are feeling better as well. Exercise is great for that sort of thing~

I wish Tilde was my IRL friend

>>37382899
it's literally right there
>>37382839

>>37382836
19 and virgin and so is she. she says she loves me and i love her too

>>37382753
firefighter, not really any jobs like it, other gov jobs like police or prison officer have the same sort of requirements (that I met). like I said looking to apply again when given the chance.

Until then Im looking at local work a quick search showed something in M&S bakery and a part time gig in a wetherspoons kitchen

Is this bait lads? I'm too tired to figure it out desu

>>37381047
Cool

Hopefully I can find enough for a small wardrobe

>>37382388
I did that at first but 50% of my salary disappears real quick, now I'm terrified of buying most things

>>37381569
She figured it out and I didn't deny it as I didn't have answers to why I was growing my hair and epilating

Any of you lads have any enemies? I have an enemy but i haven't spoken to him in a few years. Last thing he said is that he is going to get me when I least expect it. He is man in his early 40s. I'm not larping

Lads I just had the worst experience of my whole life. It was absolutely terrifying.

I'm 19 and a virgin. I was in Central London and feeling very horny, sitting in Starbucks just looking at all these women and I was literally throbbing in my jeans.

So I decided to go to a phonebox and try and get a hooker's number. Found one that said "English Rose Tina" then her number. I called it up and she told me to come to a flat round the corner.

I got there and it was a guy, I assumed it was her pimp or something. I went into the flat and the guy instantly locked the door and then two other guys came out. They were only speaking in Spanish.

I thought I was just going to get robbed but they stripped me naked and humiliated me, one of them pushed me into the bath and pissed on me, then the other guy took out his flaccid dick and slapped me across the face with it while all three of them were laughing.

After over an hour of humiliating abuse they took my wallet and threw me out on the street. I went to the police but they said there wasn't much they could do, as these gangs move on quickly. The policeman laughed slightly while I was giving my statement, and tried to hide it.

Got home now and really scrubbed myself in the shower. Feeling lucky I didn't get raped.

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>>37382905
I wish he was my online friend

>>37382913

?Que, Senor?

But seriously, if you can keep a bird interested for five years online, then I'm sure you're not an undesirable man-freak IRL.

>>37382905
I would really like that too anon! Unfortunately britfeel will have to suffice but you are more than welcome to talk to me!

When I start uni this September I am considering meeting up with some anons desu~

The greatest love story on /britfeel/ is a well guarded secret that only the most autistic observers are aware of. To get the full story you must even look outside of /britfeel/.

>>37383029
W-wait we are online friends anon! Don't hesitate to talk to me on here if you feel like it. Or did you mean outside of these threads?

>>37382905

I wish he were a person I saw often IRL and recognised but was too shy to talk to

>>37383079
is it the katuysha x random anon stalker that ended with them rubbing penises in a hotel room and booking a holiday to france together?

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- PM Kev x

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Springwatch on now lads, BBC2.Not the same without Kate Humble (used to give me massive boner)but Micheala Strachan could have it

Sat next to the tranny at work today but couldn't talk to her

She sat next to me during break too but again, I just couldn't

>>37382842

Cheers anon. A long bike ride is probably better for your joints than a long run anyway. It's been good biking weather recently, you been out in it?

>>37383028
That's fucking awful Anon. London terrifies me. I feel like stuff like that happens there all the time.

Glad we're out of the EU.

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>>37382905
>tfw will never lose handhold and hug virginity to tilde


I'm going to go run around in circles but I'm tired with stomach ache

>>37383050
What are you planning to study anon? I went back this September after dropping out and living as a NEET for two years - it's the best thing I have ever done!

>>37383152
This might be the gayest post of the day

>>37383028
This is the only reason that I'd never go to a hooker.

who else here drunk af?

>>37383167
Says a lot with Kev just a few posts above.

>>37383185
Getting there anon, have a half bottle of Aldi whiskey left before sneaking into mummys vodka

>>37383028
When you called was it a real woman?

>>37383183
1. That story is obviously fake
2. Escorts are great. You can do all the stuff you wank about doing, but actually do them.

I want to eat shit out of ebinas ass as he eats 10 bowls of monster munch

It's becoming harder to masturbate

>>37383150
Sadly I am stuck in London.

>>37383183
I'll never, ever do anything like that again.

>>37383449
Yeah, and then afterwards I went to the phone box to try to get the number on the card to help the police but it was gone, and they robbed my phone so I didn't have a record of the call.

>>37383477
I wish it was fake. And I am sure escorts are good when you can actually meet one but I won't be taking the risk again.

>>37382852
Oh man keep on enjoying it anon, and that's such a brilliant picture. Feckin saved.

>>37382962
That's a really neat and selfless thing to pursue actually, I hope you do get to be a firefighter one day, anon.

Getting a different job in the meantime isn't a bad idea either - I know it sounds really memey but if you take your retail job really seriously and treat it as important as your firefighter gig, you'll find that your attitude towards other things improves too.
It should make it easier for you to pursue your goals!

Wishing you the best anon, don't give up and keep at it!

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>>37383089
Now anon you know full well that if I knew you irl I would be your friend. It would be a borderline homo friendship though~

>>37383152
I know where you live Ebin, so it is more than a fantasy!

>>37383158
Going to study languages

What about you lad? And what made you enjoy it more the second time around?

>>37383494
reckon I must unironically be a low-test beta; I wank maybe twice I week (if that)

then after I wank it takes me days to recharge for my next wank

>>37383494
We can wank together on Skype if you want? Maybe that will help. I am white and I have a nice dick that might get you excited?

>>37383501
>I wish it was fake.

>I got there and it was a guy, I assumed it was her pimp or something. I went into the flat and the guy instantly locked the door and then two other guys came out. They were only speaking in Spanish.
>I thought I was just going to get robbed but they stripped me naked and humiliated me, one of them pushed me into the bath and pissed on me, then the other guy took out his flaccid dick and slapped me across the face with it while all three of them were laughing.
>After over an hour of humiliating abuse they took my wallet and threw me out on the street. I went to the police but they said there wasn't much they could do, as these gangs move on quickly. The policeman laughed slightly while I was giving my statement, and tried to hide it.

This did not happen, get a grip with reality.

Hard to remember that I've got a trial in August, that'll probably be postponed

>>37383516
Yeah, you need to get prescribed some testosterone

Not normal

>>37383523
Maybe
Need you to be mean to me

>>37383535
It sounds insane, doesn't it? But it's true.

Just cockslapped some beta faggot who was trying to fuck one of my whores lads.

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>>37382859
He thinks the only other option is windows

>>37383578
Post CAD reference, I'll search it tomorrow to check

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>watering hanging baskets out front
>man walking his dog comes past
>mentions something about them needed lots of water
>I panic and mumble something inaudible
>"the wind drys them out too" he replies
>he wonders on off

Who else can't get their words out /under pressure/?

>>37383588
Don't get me wrong, if this macbook ever breaks I will switch to Linux (because I can't really afford another mac and I don't want the hassle of maintaining a hackintosh). But the fact is that there is more software and hardware available for apple operating systems than linux.

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>>37383512
>I know where you live Ebin, so it is more than a fantasy!

is that a warning?

>>37383627
Pretty useful information from that old man. Makes sense too when you think about it, the wind drying them out.

>>37383634
What would you do if a brit feel lad knocked at your door? Serious question

>>37383590
You think I want to be doxed after this happened to me?

>>37383648
Yeah true, I wish I could have been more engaging but I panicked.

I tried to reply with "you could have a massive rain shower and these things will still be bone dry" but it came out all muddled up and probably sounded like I had a cock in my mouth, no wonder he quickly went on his way.

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>tfw having multiple cold showers a day in this weather

>>37383660
do you think i've answered the door? you'd have to ask my mum if "Ebinlad" lives here and she'd most likely be confused. I remember last year I went out into the garden and the gate was open and a delivery guy came when everyone was out so I had to go full solid snake and hide so he didn't see me

>>37383679
>ok it's fake, sorry

Apology accepted

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>>37379388
>wanting to work in advertising

I'd rather not be a paid shill

>>37383648
>old man
Wait how did you know he was old? Do you secretly live next door or something?

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>>37383660
>knocking
>not sneaking in through a window and hiding in his closet/under his bed
>not waiting there until night and knocking him out with Chloroform while he sleeps
>not kidnapping him

If a Britfeel beta came to my door I'd grab him, lock the door, get out my friends Jose and Alphonzo and we'd strip him naked, cockslap him and piss on him.

>>37383741
Only an old person would offer friendly advice passing someone by on the street.

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I feel the pain of everyone

then I feel nothing

I feel the pain of everyone

then I feel nothing

>>37383747
I live two floors up and you'd probably die from the toxic air before you reached me

>>37383752
whats your adress? sounds like a good deal desu

>>37383734
If you have access to the database, you'll have access to my phone number, address, name, everything if I give you that number.

If you post all your personal information then I'll tell you the number.

>>37383634
More of a promise~

>>37383773
I work around toxic shit all day lad. Also I'm a good climber.

>>37383628
>>>37383588 (You)
>But the fact is that there is more software and hardware available for apple operating systems than linux.

Eh, you'd be surprised.
Every piece of hardware I've bought so far has worked fine in Linux, and the software problem is only really an issue if you need actually need specific professional software (e.g. everyone always complains about lack of Photoshop when Gimp is perfectly fine for their use).
OSX is still way above windows just for the fact that you get a bash shell though, I honestly couldn't live without a terminal now.

>>37383755
True I guess, he also said that he already lost one of his hanging plants because the soil kept drying out.

I'm just used to strangers laughing at me or shouting obscenities from moving vehicles.

>>37383747
not sure why you'd want to kidnap TRASH

>>37383805
I want to bundle him into my chest freezer.

>>37383826
bundle him into a bin lorry because he's TRASH

>>37383783
>doxing a crime victim
What sort of cunt do you think I am?

Besides, that shit tracks who accesses it and you sending the police a screencap of me posting your details would lead to my unemployment (and possible imprisonment, many Magistrates are smug cunts who treat the Official Secrets Act like gospel) very quickly.

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>>37383711
Get yourself a paddling pool lad, if I feel too hot I simply flip my blow up dingy and hide underneath it like pic related.

Then I can also pump the air out using an upside down jug and pretend I'm stuck in a sinking ship.

>>37383724
I would not knock unless I knew your name kr i would just ask if a young man lives here etc.

>>37383891
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=---9z2_bSqs

>>37383800
gimp is utter shit mate come on

krita is nice though

>>37383891
>blow up dingy and hide underneath it
Fuck, remember doing this when visiting the beach as a kid

so much fun

>>37383922
Goodness, that's why I let my dad put the pool up instead.

>>37383972
Its a lot of fun indeed, one time I took it to the beach and a shark swam just feet from it a couple hundred yards out.

>>37383885
>What sort of a cunt do you think I am?

No idea. You're just a random guy. And as you might understand, I don't have a great view of human nature right now, or much faith in the police helping me with anything.

how do you stop being hungry all the time when trying to lose weight FUCK

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>>37384092
munch leaves

>>37381621
same lad i struggle putting weight on.
have gained half a stone over the past 2 month that's to do with the happy pills though

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>got to be awake at 4 for wageslavery

I really hate my job. Only two or three months until I can quit though.

Good night lads, hope you all have wonderful dreams~

>>37384114
Hope an ulcer bursts in your sleep~

>>37383940
Sure it's not photoshop tier but it's still good.
I had both gimp and photoshop elements when I used windows and I still preferred gimp.
The only disadvantage is that it doesn't have all the "smart" resizing / background filling etc. stuff that photoshop has because it obviously doesn't have millions poured into R&D.

>>37384147
please don't bully the tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aeETEoNfOg

>you will literally never experience carefree teenage fun in the sun with your group of friends and gf

every day I get more suicidal

Feel like I'm dying lads. Heart is constantly palpitating. Had a headache for months. Constantly feel weak and tired lately. I've got a doctors appointment for Thursday but it seems too far away. Is it reasonable to go the hospital or is it only for emergency reasons they allow you to?

>>37384165

ive always done pretty well at controlling my emotions infront of other people and infront of myself even, but "tonight tonight" by the smashing pumpkins is one song that will always make me cry like a bitch, partly because of the memories i relate to that song, if that makes sense

>>37384178
Phone NHS 111 and see what they tell you to do.

>>37384165
I experienced carefree teenage fun in the sun with my group of friends. You're not missing much, and judging by my friends at the time who had girlfriends, having some daft teenage girl follow you around isn't really much of an upgrade on that.

>>37384205
Thanks lad didn't know this existed. Genuinely shitting myself. Especially googling symptoms and I start thinking I have cancer or something.