Advice guy

So who's the lucky girl that the "Advice guy" was into?

What was she like?

I'm 27 is it too late for me? would you and your friends hang out with a 27/yo?

inb4
>just bee yourself
>just practice talking to girls
>just socialize more
>just work on yourself more
>just be confident

>>37370368
She's nice. We share a lot of political views, have good discussions. She's generous in bed, she's warm and loving too. She forgives me for my mistakes and acknowledges her own.
She's made me a better person, glad to have her.

And you? What's yours like? Why did you decide to date her, and if you haven't yet, what's kept you from making the move?

>>37370336
This girl I used to work with is quite a qt3.14. She lives with her boyfriend and I've invited her to hang out before but she she just said no cause bf. A few weeks ago I ran into her at a party and we started drinking together and she came back to my apartment. After talking for a few hours she started playing with my hair and lightly pinching my chest. We were in my living room with a few of her friends and a few of mine so I didn't make a move. Was she flirting with me? I'm genuinely too autistic to tell.

I'm about to go off to college
haven't had a relationship yet

What do

>>37370492
Also relevant she may have broken up with him in the couple weeks since I stopped working there but idk

>>37370459
Those are vague and unhelpful answers, and I don't believe in them. Give me a real question, I'll give you a meaningful response. I'm interested in seeing you succeed.
>>37370417
Of course it's not too late. Tell me more about your situation. Have you ever been with a girl? Because there are people who take longer, it's not all that uncommon. If you have trouble going out to meet people, try dating sites. It's an easy way to ease into the scene.

Should I read the idiot or the brothers karamazov? I've read some other of his stuff and I don't know which I should read first.

>>37370336
I'm a 5'7" that frequently gets rejected by women much smaller than I am (5'"-5'4") because they would rather prefer sharing the 6'0"+ men.

What now?

>>37370492
She was. Alcahol makes people horny, but more than that it brings out true feelings. You probably should have given a bit of a response, but it's best not to make a move when a girl is drunk because they may resent you for it. If a girl is making physical contact with you in a way you perceive to be flirting, return the favor. Put an arm on her shoulder, see where things go from there. I typically go from sitting next to them, to arm in shoulder, to making out.
But never ever do this to a girl in a relationship. Trust me, there's more baggage there than is worth your time. wait for things to end first, be the shoulder she leans on.
>>37370509
Dude you're fine. I have plenty of friends who were in your exact situation. It's a chance to reinvent yourself. Be spirited, dress well, and fake it till you make it. You'll be just fine, don't psych yourself out.

>>37370509
Not OP but start studying "chads". Act like them when you first meet a girl but once you learn common interests start to drop the Chad act and talk about your common interests. No one will know you're a virgin so don't bring it up. Also focus on your strengths, you don't have to lie but you're trying to give them reasons they should give you a chance. If the first thing you tell them is how awkward you are they may think you don't have any strengths to talk about.

>>37370336
It's not hard to give romantic advice and be good with girls if you're fucking attractive.

Most of us are not. So I'm sorry but your advice won't really be any relevant.

>>37370476
>She forgives me for my mistakes and acknowledges her own.
>tfw I'll never meet a girl like this
Every girl I ever met thought she's the best thing on earth and I'm really not all that great. No girl ever genuinely fell for me to the point where she'd forgive me anything so really dealing with those girls felt like walking on a fucking minefield... I could never really just let go and literally be myself.

How do you deal with heartbreak after a bad break up and no way of getting any closure OP? When you thought you had found the closest thing to a soulmate too

>>37370616
Thanks this makes me feel a little better. I did playfully pinch her back but I was so drunk I couldn't really get a read. Also one of my friends told me she looked like she was into me but every time we go to a restaurant he'll say that the waitress wants to fuck him just cause she smiled at him so I don't really trust his advice.

>>37370614
I'm 6'3, so I'm afraid I can't put myself in your shoes so to speak. But I have a friend who's 5'2 with a lovely girlfriend, and he's Always told me his trick is humor. He's got a massive personality and knows how to connect with the room. Height supremacists are shallow, just put yourself out there and you'll find a girl who likes what you have to offer, even if you have to sift through a lot of garbage first.
>>37370645
I hear you, but there's a lot more too it than that. I've seen Greek gods strike out and bridge trolls take it home. You can change a lot about how people perceive you with personality, persistence, and a good wardrobe. There's a lot of shitty women out there, but I promise you that any man can find the woman who loves home if he knows what he's doing.

>>37370336
be careful, these robots dont take kindly to people giving advice. They rather just circle jerk about how miserable they are.

>>37370709
Dude I've been there. My ex broke my heart, made me feel ugly, weak, and worthless. But it does get better. First of all, find the flaws. No relationship is perfect. Think about her imperfections, things she did that hurt you, things you ignored because love blinded you. You may find that it wasn't as healthy of a relationship as you thought. And take some time to yourself. You're single now, go socialize. Do the things you couldn't do when you had a girlfriend. Flirt a bit, spend time with your guy friends, and complain about her until you're feeling better. Most importantly, do not continue to talk to her. You need to spend time off until you're feeling better, if you keep contact you'll just keep wallowing in the pain.
And remember, there are worse things to be than single. If you wanna talk further about this let me know, I've been where you are and I know how much it sucks.
>>37370733
I know, I've tried before. But I think if I'm persistent and helpful enough, maybe I can sway a few opinions

>>37370721
>I hear you, but there's a lot more too it than that. I've seen Greek gods strike out and bridge trolls take it home. You can change a lot about how people perceive you with personality, persistence, and a good wardrobe. There's a lot of shitty women out there, but I promise you that any man can find the woman who loves home if he knows what he's doing.
Yeah well maybe this was true for some 10 years ago but today in the age of kikebook, instagram and tinder girls NEVER go for the guy that's short and has an ugly face. I'm sorry but you could have the absolutely best personality in the world and be the kindest person but if you're ugly, no girl will want to do shit with you and that includes the "normal" girls which in my experience are actually the worst. And that comes from a guy who's seriously tried it all. It's a war some of us can't win anymore.

There was this guy who asked out 300 girls and they all rejected him. I don't have the pic of his post but I'm sure someone else can post it. Either way, I'm fast approaching that number too.

>>37370721
>haha just sift through garbage my dude
gosh that sounds like a fun time

>>37370521
>Those are vague and unhelpful answers, and I don't believe in them
>proceeds to give out those very said answers

>>37370841
Not him, but that sort of advice genuinely works...
... if you're attractive.

>>37370814
300 girls is a lot of girls. I mean think about that. Stretch that over a five year period, it's still nearly one a week. How much time do you think he spend on each one? If you're not perfect looking, the game is a bit harder, but it's not impossible. You need to grind at it. You can't just jump from one girl to the next and expect a yes. You gotta break down that wall of shallow expectations. Develope a talent, work on your sense of humor, and be optimistic and upbeat. People notice the kind of energy you give off. Trust me man, there's no reason to give up. I believe in you, even if you don't believe in me.

>>37370809
I tried thinking like that but it worked only for a few days. Right now I'm feeling miserable and dream of them. I know very well all of their flaws but I didn't mind, I still loved them despite them. Also we have no way of talking so that's not an issue.

>>37370814
>I've been rejected by almost 300 women
>how dare you suggest I change my strategy
>>37370336
OP make this a regular thread. Lord knows r9k could use a self help thread in between the MTBI, /pol/-lite, trap, and crappy b8 threads.

>>37370915
>How much time do you think he spend on each one?
Well what do you think? Not a lot obviously. And why is that? Because he was rejected immediately. Why do girls reject immediately? Not because of personality but because of looks, anon. If you look bad no girl will give half a fuck about your personality.

You *might* be lucky and find a girl, at work for example, who will like your personality first and then see you as attractive, but that requires the said girl to exist first and work where you do. In my case this cannot and will not happen sadly.

>>37370956
I'm not the 300 guy, but I think he tried all the tricks he could. I know I did. I tried fucking pubs, school, work, university, tinder, clubs, street, everything.

>>37370999
If you try to fuck every girl you meet within a week of meeting them you're just going to come off as desperate. Obviously you can try this on tinder or clubs but just be friends with a girl for a while before you try to put benis in vagoo

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Oh wise, magical, wisdomous Chad OP. tell me, why am I such a fuck up? I think of myself as self aware, I'm capable of grand things, I have good ideas, but when it actually comes to applying myself, when it comes to being put on the spot, I'm a complete idiot and I embarrass myself. When it comes to relationships, I know I'm worthy and I know I can prove myself but I freeze up and my brain goes blank from the pressure of knowing the person likes me, and all my bad traits come out and I end up making that person think I'm a bad person. I don't think I'm ready to date yet, as I have really high standards but low self esteem, and even when I meet someone I could potentially like who is really cool, there's something in my mind I find wrong with them or can't cope with and I push them away or lose interest, or have to pretend to like them more than I really do so as to not offend them. Needless to say, it doesn't work out.I have been with my fair share of losers. I want to date up, but I don't feel confident in myself, I know what I need to do is crack down on what my flaws are and become a better person who contributes more to the world, but I feel like people are all watching me and judging me so i just stay indoors, wasting my life away, never having amounted to anything in my short 20 years. Does there have to be another 20 years more of these failed attempts before I just give up and end it all or will I find someone eventually? Why am I so weird? I'm a female btw

>>37370956
Hey thanks man, might continue doing this in the future if people find the advice valuable.
>>37371051
Exactly. You get rejected immediately if you go for it immediately. If you're not hot, girls need to feel comfortable with you first, and that takes time.

>>37370521
lel aight
I'll throw you a bone, mostly because I have nothing to lose, since I never visit this board.
I don't like very many girls, and not many girls like me either. I often can tell whether I can reasonably get along with a girl after a conversation. I often don't like what I see.

However, the girl that I like is a workaholic. I never get to see her around anymore. I'm going to be moving away later this year. Much less enjoy her company, I'm never going to see her again.

I have already learned to cope with loss, so this isn't going to affect me much either way, but I would like to see what someone with an outside perspective would do in this situation.

>>37370336
>always been considered easy to talk to
well what's your secret then? this is what i want to know, how can i be easy to talk to?

>>37370950
It takes time. The pain will be with you for a while, and then it will start to fade. For now, try to focus on the things that make you happy. Spend a little money to treat yourself. Be careful not to try and cover it with something more destructive though, like heavy drinking. It's easy to sit around and think about what you did wrong, but I promise you it's not worth your time. It's behind you now, and there's a world of oppurtunity ahead. Take as much time as you need to deal with the immediate pain, then start the healing process when you feel ready. For me, it was a year before I was back on my feet completely, but now all thoughts of my ex are gone, and I'm happy in a much better realationship.

>>37371051
>>37371081
I'm just trying to hang out with them you cucks. It's hard to do if the girl immediately shuts you down or doesn't want to meet again for a fucking coffee or a walk or anything. I'm really after the company at this point.

>>37371193
shit, this

i cant even reach the friendzone, let alone want more

>>37370336
So, there's this girl at work that I like. I've been working there a little over 7 months now, so we know each other pretty well.

I would like to ask her out at some point, but I'm afraid of being rejected. Not afraid of being rejected in and of itself (I've been rejected enough times by now that I'm practically numb to it), but rather the consequences it brings, namely that I will have too see this girl every day. Ergo, a no in this regard will make things real awkward real fast. And it's not like I can just switch shifts (office job) or move to another portion of the building (small office) to avoid her. Also, I think that within this office context she'll be pressured to say yes and I don't want that.

Basically, would it be ill advised to ask her out, even if I try to make it as casual as possible? Also, what tips would you have for making it sound like a casual thing rather than a, "Hey I like you and want to put my dick in your vag at some point," sort of thing?


If it helps any, I'm moving in about 2 months to another city about a 2 hour drive from here. Still working at the same company though, just remotely instead. I'm thinking like the week before I move of asking her out. That way everything is pretty low risk and impact. I also feel she would be more apt to genuinely say yes since I'll be gone in a week anyways. Plus, even if she does say no, I only end up spending one awkward week with her. But of course, if word gets out either way, things will also become really awkward really fast.

>>37371063
Up until that last line you pretty much described exactly how I felt for most of my life until a few years ago. There's a lot to respond to there and I don't have the room in a post, can you be a bit more specific? id like to help you but this kind of thing requires a full conversation. >>37371193
>>37371231
Shit, that is rough. But if you can't get a girl to go with you, bring yourself to them. Guys have an easier time making friends with a guy they aren't intimidated by. Use this to get into parties, social gatherings, the like. Just sit next to girls, buy drinks, strike up conversation. And be self deprecating. You sound pretty down on yourself, so use that.
Buy a girl a drink, when they look at you say "ok, I know what you're thinking, but I'm more than meets the eye."
This typically elicits an "oh really?" Even if it's sarcastic. Then give them a dumb talent you have, something truly unimpressive, which gets a laugh, and makes the rest of the conversation easier. And don't let rejection stop you. It gets harder with each one, I know, but john Wayne gacy had two wives, and he was a pedophile murder clown. So.. I don't know, we all got a shot right?

>>37370336
how do i convince multiple attractive women to suck my cock at the same time?

>>37371422
Start small, convince your hand to touch your dick first.

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>>37371402
Well, I guess, why do I feel so shitty about myself? Just because I've never had a job, and didn't graduate, which are both things I"m gonna go out and do, but I'm still behind everyone else my age. People have always been able to tell, "why doesn't she have any money? Why does she never go out?" and I just play it off like I'm a loner but truth is, I'm scared to go get a job and meet people and have to explain to them why I haven't been working, because I'm a degenerate lazy faggot with aNxIeTy aka special snowflake disorder. I want to just be a normal person, with friends, and hobbies, and goals, I want to be talented and impress people, I want to change the world. I see everyday people achieving this all the time so why do I have to be such a shitty human? I can't even draw for shit, and that's the only thing I'm "good" at. It's like parts of my brain are overactive and keep other parts of my brain from advancing, like I've been stuck at the emotional maturity of a teen forever.Nobody wants to hang out with a jobless autistic loser who sits on the internet all day and can't hold a conversation and only thinks about pointless shit. Why can't I just end myself and get it over with.

>>37371088
It's your last chance, so go for it. You're moving away and you have nothing to lose. The worst part about rejection is the awkwardness that follows, but you've been blessed with an oppurtunity to avoid that all together. Send her this text "Hey, I'd like to take you out for coffee or something before I leave. Wouldn't feel right taking off without a proper goodbye."
You can edit that so it suits the relationship you have a bit better but it's the kind of message you wanna send. You let her know that she's on your mind and she'll take interest. And if it doesn't work out, youll be moving anyways. It doesn't hurt to try.

>>37371496
All right. I'll try that then. Probably a month or two before I actually go if my instincts are correct.

>>37371483
>>37371402
I'm gonna start going to apply for jobs, learning technical ways to draw, get better at the guitar, learn my brain some more of them book facts, and start exercising to get a perfect body, maybe make a friend or two, that is my goal, but why does it all feel so hollow and meaningless and forced? Why do I feel like I'm only doing it to please society and not because I want it for myself? It feels like I'm just tired of being a loser and succumbing to my betaness and selling out. Part of me just wants to stay a robot and be a degenerate forever but it is killing me, the time droning on, feeling myself getting older but not more advanced. I feel like I haven't even been in my body for the past 3 years since I dropped out, like I was just sort of vaguely here, when in my mind I was elsewhere.

>>37371483
I'm not the OP. The rubber will hit the road eventually, and the realization that the future you're working towards will either lead to your success or your impending death will cause you to change and mature whether you like it or not.

The fact is, people remain children on the inside because they are allowed to be children. Without a safety net underneath, both men and women become very hard, very fast.

>>37371118
Make the conversation as much about them as it is about you. Let them talk for a while if they seem interested in what they're saying, and look interested. This makes people feel valued. Have a set list of back up topics too, like asking where they're from, what it's like, etc. find things you have in common and talk as much about those as you can. Avoid polarizing things like politics. Laugh at their jokes, smile often, and maintain eye contact without making it awkward. Crack a few jokes if you have the wit, but nothing that requires specific knowledge or that you're not sure they'd understand. Better to avoid the joke than to have it fall flat. And don't be afraid to make fun of them a little, but in a way where they know you're being playful.
>>37371384
Don't ask her out. invite her.
You want to phrase this like you have plans already and you thought of her. Find a movie you're both excited about or a restaurant you both thought looked interesting.
"Oh hey I was gonna check that out this weekend, you should come along."
If she shoots you down, no big loss. She had no proof that you're into her and she'll forget all about it in a few days. But if she says yes, you just talked her into a date. From there, you have her alone, so make conversation and direct the situation the way you want it to go. Just be sure you gauge her interest before you do anything too bold. Hope this helps.

>>37371563
Do it. Go to school, get a job. Don't worry about people shitting on you for it, because you'll have a response lined up. "I made some mistakes, yeah, but better late than never right?" People will respect you for that, for pursuing something.
And listen, you're an animal. We all are. We were programmed to want to build a good shelter and make some healthy kids, so it's understandable that you feel unfulfilled when it seems like you're falling behind. Are you smoking a lot? Because I've found that when I fall into a spiral like that, smoking tends to make it worse. Eating well, drinking lots of water, etc. will really bring your spirits up. I know, you've probably heard that four million times but I swear that shit works.
And don't worry about romantic troubles yet. You need to work on yourself right now. Get to a point where you feel confident in your own skin, comfortable with yourself first. Then you can worry about finding someone else.

>>37371483
And if you want to have a deeper conversation about this let me know, I'll tell you how to reach me. There's a lot here to discuss, and typing it all out in long paragraphs isn't always the most convenient way to do it.

>>37371773
I know smoking did do a big number on my body, I want to quit but I am addicted. I improved on taking care of myself and staying hydrated, I have that covered, so maybe I should just quit. My life kinda revolves around it, I can't afford it but it keeps my anxiety at bay and is my only friend so I pick it over people and school and improving myself most of the time, I could have spent all the little amount of money I had on other stuff but I spent it on weed instead. I just stay in my room all day festering, being scared of being seen, hating myself.

>>37371828
Every time people want to keep in touch, I agree but then just never go through with it because I know I'm not able to maintain conversation and all that. I can't guarantee I won't do that to you, I don't mean to but it just happens. I've been trying to talk to people more so I will take you up on your offer but I'm sorry if my responses are scarce or cheap, my brain shuts off sometimes.

>>37371889
Don't worry about it. My kik is Oco. with the period and all. I'm the one offering advice, so respond with as much as feel the need to

>>37370336
Got a bit of a unique situation anon. So I am the last of all my friends to have ever even touched a girl and pretty much the butt of their jokes. I'm fairly decent looking and keep up on hygiene but every time I attempt to attract women or show that I am attracted to them they friendzone or ignore me. My friends all say I "Come on too strong" because my text messages utilize 2 syllable words. That is to say: my friends tell me that my lack of success is attributed to pedantic things such as how long I waited to respond to a message or what words and punctuation I used in said message. They only advice they ever seem to give me is to stop looking for one and you will eventually find one but that will never work for me. To women, I might as well be invisible as none of them even look at me let alone speak to me. All coming from guys who have by some reason managed to have women magically notice them.

pls help OP

I'm willing to look at this with objective eyes

>>37370336
38 yr. old virgin, extreme social anxiety, and hearing and speech impaired.

I'm fucked, ain't I?

>>37371563
>only doing it to please society and not because I want it for myself?
Again, not OP. This is one of the few things where you are allowed to have things both ways. Doing things to please society is not a bad thing, it increases your attractiveness and makes it easier to do anything involving other people.

The trick is figuring out how to please both society and yourself. This is what high school was supposed to be for. High school is for figuring out what you like and you don't like. That's why education seems so piecemeal--you'll never know if you like something until you immerse yourself into it. Unfortunately this doesn't work for everyone, and some people have to ``find themselves'', so to speak, in college.

I think that one of your goals should be to find a task that produces value and that you enjoy (be it art, or science, or software) and become good at it. I think the reason you haven't found one yet is simply because you haven't looked hard enough, and that is somewhat expected.
I can't imagine it was anyone's dream to reconstruct faces from skulls, yet that is or was a viable career for some time.

>>37371964
Alright your friends are dopes. How long you wait to respond to a text doesn't matter that much so long as it isn't immediate, because that shows that you're waiting for them. Typically just take as much time as they take, so if they respond fast, you respond fast.
In terms of content, just don't get too deep. It's text, not real life. Save the complex thoughts for complex conversation, unless that's the vibe you pick up from them. Just say the essentials, guide the conversation towards finding a place and time to hang out. "You know I'm enjoying talking to you, but I think I'd rather have this conversation in person. You wanna get together sometime/get drinks tonight/get lunch today/you get the idea?" And make your intentions clear. Gauge their interest, sit close, put an arm around them. Joke a bit. Lean in and see if they do too. Most girls will only let you get so far if they're interested in you. If they're fine with the arm, they're usually fine with atleast making out. If the location is inappropriate but you sense tension, say "hey, how about you and me get out of here?" If they ask where too tell them you'd like to get a little fresh air. And if they shoot that down, they're likely not interested in going further.
If all else fails, model yourself after a tv character. I know how insane that sounds, but I went as Jim from the office for a few weeks to impress this one girl and it worked like a charm. I hope this is helpful, if I'm missing something let me know

>>37372021
Op here, listen to this guy. He said it a lot better than I did.

>>37371969
Nope. But you may have to lower your standards a bit. Look for love, not looks.

>>37370336
How do I get better even though I am a short asian dude?

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>>37370336
>Always been good with girls,
not so hard when you're a 6'3 chad

try being a 5'7 manlet like me
100% sure you wouldn't be "good with girls" then

>>37370336
How would you deal with being unmalny. Because I think that is my main problem. I'm short, weak frame, childish face, no facial hair. It has nothing to do with being ugly, since there are many ugly men in relationships, but my problem is not being ugly but lacking any masculine features. On top of that I have really shitty and boring personality, it's hard to not feel hopless.

>>37371465
Starting small and starting with my dick is contradictory advice. You clearly don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

>>37372406
>>37372299
don't bother, OP is a fucking 6'3 chad, all he did was exist and girls wanted him, he didn't fucking do anything special, he won the genetic lottery that's all.

>>37372313
Had a fat crush on this brunette girl in highschool, didn't have the balls at the time to ask her out. This 5'4 kid swooped in and they've been happily dating for a while now. The main girl I was into throughout those four years, this bombshell blonde with great taste in music and movies dated two guys who were shorter than her just because they were great at playing music and were dedicated to getting her to fall for them. Height is a bonus, not a requirement. And I don't fuck with short heigh supremacists. I swipe left if her bio says "6' and up" unless she's like 5'10

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>>37372433
I know more than you would think

>>37372149
Helpful as fuck OP what TV or movie characters would be good to emulate? Only one I know who might be good is Walter White

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>>37372476
>has problems with the opposite sex
>thinks solution is to impersonate a sociopathic, cold blooded fictional character....

come on man....

>>37372433
That's not me, man
>>37372299
Date short Asian women. And learn how to do flips. I knew a short Asian in high school who did flips and for some reason the chicks fucking loved that, so, I guess it works.
>>37372406
I'm sorry man that's a rough hand to be delt. I say you get good at something. If your personality is lame, add something onto it. Guitar is usually the go-to. But personality is very important so I say work on that a bit. Try to be eccentric. Find what you think makes you dull and fix it. Be loud, take risks, the like. In terms of being non manly, that's not always so bad. Some girls like a slightly feminine guy because it's not so intimidating and you come across as more sensitive. Just need to find the right one.
>>37372451
You'd think so but you'd be wrong. I was always fairly tall but I used to be a greasy, ugly, awkward little fucker who got rejected more times than I'd like to admit. I spent high school slowly improving myself to get to where I am now. Its not all luck. It's a trade that can be learned

>>37372505
Nice guys finish last though desu

>>37372476
No dude Walter white is far far from where you want to be. Like I said, Jim from the office is a great one. So is Dean from supernatural. Drake from Drake and Josh. The guy in the man from uncle is great. Archer from Archer is a bit cocky but if you can pull it off go for it. You want comfortable characters, people that girls find attractive, not that guys find cool.

Fuck it, I'll bite.

How do I get over missing out on teenage love?
Is getting a job a good way of meeting people, potentially even a girlfriend?
Should you end a relationship if you have nothing to talk about with the other person when it's not about how their day went?
What do you do when someone who used to love you dearly drifts away from you, rarely speaking to you at all anymore?

How do you pick up the pieces and put yourself back together every time, knowing it'll just happen again?

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>>37372581
big difference between having an alpha, dick attitude and genuinely scaring and creeping girls out.

>>37370336
How do we purge the non-virgin people from /r9k/? This is a place for social outcasts. People who have good social skills, have had sex / relationships do not belong here. How would you suggest that we relocate these people to a more appropriate place for them? Why do you think these people even come to this place?

My new boyfriend doesn't have a lot of time to spend with me. I could deal with it if I could trust it doesn't mean he's not serious about me. We could negotiate some sort of compromise and then I'd just suck it up if it's still unsatisfying after that. Try that much harder to bond and connect during the little time we have. But I don't know how to find out what he really feels about me. He says he is, but there's not a whole lot of actions to back that up at least yet, and I don't know if he's even honest with himself about his motives.

The fuck do I do?

>>37370956
Why would we need a self-help thread? Why do you care?

>>37372634
In order: getting a job is a fine way. It guarantees there on the same level as you as well so that tension is removed.
Also, bars and dating apps are great.
If a relationship is at that point it's dead and should be left as soon as possible. Conversation and communication mean everything, and if they are working out neither is the relationship. Find someone you can talk to for hours.
You move on. Do you like music at all? Listen to "its all over" by Johnny Cash. That mans voice has guided me through the deepest of heartbreaks.
And lastly, you're right. The pain will come back some day. But you take that risk every time you fall in love. In the end, you just learn that a bit of heartbreak is worth the time you spent together if you really loved her. All things come to an end, whether it's break up or death, and it's best just to enjoy them as they come.

>>37372556
I know I should be more interesting, but how do you do that, how exactly can I make myself more interesing, and how do I work on my personality, because I really don't know.

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>>37370336

Question 1: Is that your gf?

Question 2: How do I approach women who are clearly interested in me, and are trying to welcome my attention?
I'm a 6'4 robot that looks like a mysterious chad on the outside, meaning I get stared at all the time by women, but I have no idea what to do.

Help pls

>>37372789
The key to being interesting is being interested, just like the key to being good company is enjoying yourself in others' company. Show interest and enthusiasm. Become a good listener. Appreciate their humour and what they're saying. This is most likely work if you can genuinely relax in company.

>>37372677
Listen, I'm here because I feel I can do a little good with my day. A lot of people offer problems on this board, very few offer solutions. if this isn't for you, that's fine. If you're content with how your life is, that's fine. But I look at this board and I see an ocean of desperation, people drifting without purpose, shouting tales of how they were wronged, vocalizing their sorrows to any ear that may listen. I don't see the harm in offering a bit of help to those who want it. I'm here for anyone who wants me, and for those who don't, I'm just one ignorable thread among hundreds of others.

>>37370336
Why does every girl reject me? They all pretend to be interested at first and flirt with me for like a week, then out of nowhere, they ghost me like I don't even exist. I'm 21. There's also this one girl at work who flirts with me all the time but I've asked her out twice and she makes up bullshit excuses every time, but yet she continues to say hi to me all the time and flirt with me.

>>37372851
Threads like this belong on the ADVICE board

If robots want advice they'll go to >>>/adv/

>>37372827
Thanks, problem is im interested in boring stuff, things like electronics, movies, cars. So i guess the answer is to find something that is more interesting to others, and learn to talk about it in interesting manner, since now I don't know how to do that. Guess it's a long and painful road and I'm not so young anymore. Thanks anyway.

>>37372827
>>37372789
This isn't me but he had the right idea. Reflect off of others. If you aren't interesting, be interested. Girls like a guy who listens.
>>37372149
>>37371646
See these two posts, they talk about conversation and building personality.

>>37372867
You didn't quite get the point. Be interested in other people themselves, rather than things. You don't need to give a shit about horseback riding to have an interesting conversation about it with a cool person who is into horseback riding. You don't have to know anything about it. Let the person be your focus. You're interested in what they're saying, but because it's them saying it and it gets filtered through their unique experience and personality, rather than because you want to find out about the objective technical details of whatever it is they're discussing.

>>37372936
What's the difference? How do you do one as opposed to the other?

>>37372865
I don't think they're very interesting. I'm good with romantic troubles and personality issues, and that's what R9K offers.
>>37372797
Yes she is. She's a wonderful woman. And dude if you're 6'4 and attractive you're half way there. Like I said, height is not a requirement but it does earn you bonus points, and expands your options. But you're an intimidating presence, so girls won't approach you, meaning you have to do some work. Here's what you can do:
If they're obviously staring, wait until they're not look and approach them. Say "noticed you admiring from a distance, mind if I introduce myself?" Or something along those lines.
If there just glancing, try to catch eye contact. Raise your eyebrows a bit a smile to confirm that you're interested, and if they smile back, wave the over with your hand. From there, read my posts on conversation. But that's how you can easily initiate

>>37372936
Yep, I didn't get it, you are a bit too far, to get to that point I would have to first somehow meet new people and that is something I haven't managed to do since really long time. So I believe your advice is sound but I'm not on that stage. And I don't meet women because like I said I'm unmanly and they are not intereste, I have to figure out this part first.

>>37372953
I don't think I can answer that through this channel. At the very least we'd have to talk about it face to face, because I don't know how you think and operate in conversations with people and I can't compare my own experience to that. This would be something you figure out and learn over a span of time, anyway. My words can be clues at best, not manuals.

>>37372953
Not me, but what he's saying is true. Ask questions about them. Let's say they ride horses. "Wow, how long have you been doing that?"
Blah blah blah
"Really? That long? What got you into it"
Blah blah blah
"Oh that's awesome. Always been more of a car guy myself but I'm almost convinced to switch" see that's a light hearted joke, easy set up, easy knock down.
Use what they say to further the conversation, and you make yourself look really good

>>37373020
You can practice this with your parents if it comes to that. It's a basic interpersonal skill that's important in all areas of life.

>>37373031
I can't think of shit to say like that on the spot, only long after the conversation has ended.

>>37372963
>HAS to show off his gf

>>37373055
I'm too old for that. Luckily I have a few male friends and I can talk to them, no problem, women are more problematic.

>>37373066
It was the first pic in my camera roll and it gets attention to the thread. She's good click bait

>>37371964
I know this feel brother. I remember one of my friends who's successful with girls just straight up said he can't imagine a girl ever like me and that was years ago. He was right

>>37372963

she has really nice eyes,
is the intimidating presence thing real? I always thought it was a meme, cause I've been told that before, but I didn't take it seriously. Is there anyway to lessen this effect?

Also as someone with basically zero experience, how do I gauge the quality of the woman?
I feel like being lonely for so long significantly lowers your standards.

Also, how does one learn this sort of stuff? Feels like you have some sort of manual of cheat sheet, while I'm playing on hard mode

>>37373031
That's how I try to talk to girls online but it's always just me asking questions and them giving short answers that are impossible to build off.

>>37373175
Honestly anon most girls are boring and dumb as fuck so it's hard to talk to them and on top of that if they're not interested in you hard then you'll have issues talking to them

>>37373157
Thank you! It took me a while to settle down but I'm very happy with the girl I chose.
Yes it's real. Not so much that they're scared of you, as they are intimidated by the fact that they find you attractive. The same way you may be nervous to approach some bombshell with a gorgeous face and body. It's just means you have to break the tension for them.

A quality woman is one that is interested in what you have to say, cares about your needs in bed and emotionally, and can admit when she's wrong. She will never try to take advantage of you, and she will apologize profusely when she feels like she's hurt you. She's is empathetic, kind, and loyal. You'll know her when you find her, but you may have to work your way through a few bad ones first.

As far as how I learned:
My parents divorced when I was very young, but both of them are good people meaning they had split custody. My dad, no longer tied to a marriage, began dating again and giving me advice he couldn't when my mom was around. He taught me most of what I know about approaching women and the basic aspects.
Meanwhile, my mom remarried to a very kind man and the two of them shared a very happy marriage. They taught me a lot about the deeper and emotional aspects of relationships. Things like learning to compromise, understanding a girls feelings, etc.
Both sides were also very okay with the idea of sex and the discussion of it. There was nothing I had to feel uncomfortable about. My parents respected my privacy when I had a girl over, my mom went so far as to buy me a box of condoms without my asking, just because she believe it was better to be safe than sorry.
I was taught well from the time I was a child, and that certainly shaped me quite a bit.

>>37373157
Not him but you have to practice. I did by talking to and meeting girls from tinder and by quite literally working with women. I can talk to girls easily now but am still ugly so I don't have a gf.

And yeah the first tinder dates were terrible

>>37373175
Move the conversation towards meeting in person. It's much easier because they can't be preoccupied.

>>37373316
Sigh, how many girls have you fucked, O Chad?

>>37373329
These girls have all lived hundreds or thousands of miles away.

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>>37373316

thanks for the advice anon

I had a feeling it was an upbringing/childhood thing, cause mine sounds basically the exact opposite of yours.

These are great answers, but I'm not sure if they are making me happy, or even furthering my depression even further, just because, being realistic with myself, I can't imagine ever actually initiating a conversation

>>37373404
I suppose quite a few. Enough to narrow down what makes them tick. But that's not really what's important. Even if you're a virgin, the same moves can get you where you want to be.
And there's your problem man, talk to girls in your area. Why do you go so far out?

>>37373430
Yeah, my family has mever talked a out sex. I never got "the talk", and dad used to tease me if I mentioned any girl, jokingly asking if she was my girlfriend now.

>>37373472
At least give a rough estimate, I want to know how mich to hate you. I bet your gf was a virgin or close to it, that's how it always turns out. Chad settles down with a pure girl even though he claims it doesn't matter how many guys a girl has been with, and we're left to wade through the whores.

I can only connect with 4chan girls, both because I have nothing in common with normie girls and I've only ever been comfortable talking tp girls behind a screen.

>>37373430
Thanks I'm really glad to help. But I can tell there's a bit more I can say, so listen. I'm gonna be real with you. Initiating conversation is never easy. It's still hard for me. I feel my heart in my throat every time I approach a girl, but once you get over that hill, everything is just a cake walk.
Here's my strategy. Make a deal with yourself. "If she looks at me one more time I'll walk over" and commit to it. Or count down. Go from ten, and by 4 you'll realize this is dumb and just walk over. You'll need to ignore every buzzer in your head telling you to abort mission, but it will be worth it.
Initiating is the hardest part. Once you get past it, whatever that takes, it's smooth sailing. I believe in you. I know I'm just a nameless faceless entity, but I do believe in you.

>>37373531
I don't see the need to make you resent me further with numbers. And sure, maybe she was. But that doesn't make her any more pure than any other girl. I've dated both virgins and experienced women, it comes down to how they are as a person, not what they've done in bed. Putting virgins on some kind of pedestal is going to hold you back. It makes you seem creepy and unevolved to women.

If you can't connect to normal girls your life isn't over. There are so many girls around here who would love to date a loner type. I've been shot down before for being "normal" or "popular." Girls don't have a hive mind. There's a cap for every bottle.

>>37373658
>Was a virgin too

OH COME THE FUCK ON

YOU WOULD HAVE PUMPED AND DUMPED IF SHE HAD FUCKED AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU HAVE

AND YOU'VE STOLEN MULTIPLE VIRGINITIES

WHY CAN'T YOU SLUTS KEEP TO YOUR OWN KIND FOR FUCKS SAKE

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>>37373557

thanks advice-anon, I'm guessing we have remarkably different starting points because I'm assuming your self esteem isn't at deathly low levels. It's hard to imagine anyone actually wanting to speak to me which is the hardest part to reconcile.
Self esteem and anxiety basically means I can't look anyone in the eye when talking 1 on 1, and I'm too scared to go to a social anxiety practice group thing.
Guess I'll just screenshot your answers and keep working with a psychiatrist.
But thanks for answering because I don't have anyone to learn this stuff from IRL

>>37373697
My ex had multiple partners before me. We dated for a year, she ended it. Like I said, it doesn't matter.

>>37373749
HURR I BET SHE HAD LIKE THREE PARTNERS

WOMEN HAVE AUCTIONED OFF THEIR VIRGINITIES FOR HUNDREDS OF THOISANDS OF DOLLARS IN RECENT YEARS, IT FUCKING MATTERS

ALL I FUCKING WANT IS A VIRGIN GF BUT GUYS LIKE YOU HAVE ALREADY RUINED THEM ALL

>>37373743
I'm sorry. I can offer as much advice as I can, but things like anxiety are beyond my control. I'm not as confident as Id like to be and I still get self concious, but it's probably as much as anyone else does. The best advice I can give you is just to go to those practice groups. It's probably a lot of people like yourself, and you may just meet a girl there who feels the exact same way. If you ever need a talk about it, I put my kik in the thread somewhere. I'm not always available but when I am ill try to help. Good luck going forwar, I hope life treats you well

>>37373780
Ruined. Why do you say that? What's wrong with a girl who's had sex? You're no better than the girls who don't want to date virgin guys.

>>37373780
You're just as shallow as the women you hate.

>>37373815
ALL I WANT IS A GIRL WITH AS LITTLE EXPERIENCE AS MYSELF

I WILL NOT LET MY FIRST TIME BE WITH SOMEONE WHO ALREADY HAD HER FIRST TIME WITH SOME FUCKER LIKE YOU BECAUSE I WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE A SECOND TIME

>>37373829
VIRGINITY SAYS A FUCKTON ABOUT A PERSON, FUCK OFF

I HAVE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT SEETHING AT THIS THREAD AND IT'S THE ONLY THING I'LL BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT AT WORK IN TWO HOURS

>>37373858
What if she lost it to a guy just like you? What if she had sex with someone she emotionally connected with, and she waited a long time before she realized she was ready? That ruins her? You're setting such ridiculous standards. Most girls have had sex by the time they're out of college. Maybe an experienced girl would be good for you. She's probably been with a virgin before, she could make sure you had the most comfortable experience, and avoid the mistakes she may have made her first time.

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>>37373791

thanks, I needed to hear stuff like this probably more than you would imagine. If your goal was to help people, you've definitely done that. I'll keep your kik in mind if I ever need some advice.

>>37373903
I DON'T CARE ABOUT MISTAKES OR WHATEVER, I JUST WANT SOMEONE EQUALLY INEXPERIENCED

A NONVIRGIN IS JUST A REMINDER THAT I'M SETTLING FOR SECOND PLACE OR WORSE

I HATE YOU SO MUCH

>>37373957
Come on man. I'm not the enemy here. Hating me solves nothing

>>37373957
Looks like you just have self-esteem issues.
I'm a woman and still a virgin because I'm saving myself for the man I'll consider marrying and I want someone with the same values, but not because I want someone equally inexperienced.

There is literally nothing wrong with a virgin wanting their first partner to also be a virgin.

>>37374073
THERE ALREADY AREN'T ENOIGH VIRGINS TO GO AROUND, YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE THE FICKING ENEMY

YOU HAVE MEVER KNOWN WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A ROBOT

>>37374075
>I'm a woman
Stopped reading RIGHT there

>>37370336
Advice guy, what's the best conversation starter? Whenever I talk to girls (or anyone that's not my friend, in that matter), the conversation just feels weak and awkward.

>>37374180
"Hey, you caught my eye, figured I'd introduce myself"
"Hey, the names ____, can I buy you a drink?"
"This seat taken?" If no, "my names ___, yours?" If yes "well, if that changes, ill be over ___, don't be a stranger."
Something like that. You just wanna introduce yourself. It's hard though, I still have some trouble making it sound natural

>>37374128
No of course not. The problem is with cursing all women who have had a partner, declaring them to be ruined or impure. That tends to be a rather serious turn off

>>37374240
NOT THAT MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE IF YOU'VE FUCKED TONS OF GIRLS

>>37373949
I'm really glad I could make a difference. I wish you the best of luck.
Until we meet again, my friend

>>37374260
WHO CARES ABOUT TURNING OFF NONVIRGINS

>>37374240

I know, right. You don't want to sound too cheesy, it's hard.

>>37374274
Come on man. Why spend your night like this? I feel like I was delt a good hand of cards in how I was raised, and I want to share that knowledge. I just want to help. Is that so wrong?

>>37374321
DO IT ON FUCKING /ADV/

I BET YOU LOOK ABOVE AVERAGE TOO

Hi opie. I'm a 28 years old khhv. I have plenty of male and female friends. I seriously think that being short and ugly is what's stopping me, regardless of all the memes you'll throw at me.

There was a girl once who kind of liked me, and said to her friends "I kinda like anon" to which they replied "uhhhhghgh is this a joke, anon is so uglyyy ewwwww" and so on. She never talked to me again. Point is, even if somehow you get a girl to like you while being ugly, she'll probably won't be brave enough to renounce the approval of her social circle, so it won't work anyway.

>>37374303
Exactly! If you get the chance, the best way to do it is to introduce yourself into a conversation that's already flowing, then isolate her. Best case scenario is a wingman who knows her and gets you two in a three person conversation, then leaves you alone. But that's a pretty rare luxury.
When you get her alone though, make the conversation you two against the world. Comment on the weird stuff going on in that situation, make fun of people around you a bit. It makes it seem like it's just you two in a bubble and that can mean everything when played right

>>37374383
You do present a big problem. I've been there before, friends can seriously block you.
If you're worried about that kind of thing, and you're willing to put the time in, befriend all of them first. Get in good with all the girls in a group EXCEPT the one you're interested in. Naturally, when you tell them you like her eventually, they'll support it because first of all, they like you, and second of all, they don't want to date you so they're fine with her doing it. Girls will almost always support two of their friends dating because they get to feel like matchmakers.
It's a long game but it works

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>>37374387
Thanks, advice guy.

>>37374442
>>37374383
Also, by not befriending her just yet, it makes her want you a bit more. She sees you have a connection with her friends and she'll want to crack you open and see what's inside. Plus, they always want what they can't have

>>37374453
Hey no problem friend!

>>37374366
I guess yeah. I've been told. Listen I know you hate me for that, but why not focus on yourself and what you can do to make yourself into something you're more happy with that channeling it into hatred towards some anonymous internet person?
You're clearly a passionate guy and we probably share some interests. You could accomplish great things.

>>37374442
>>37374459
Okay, I'll try that but it's difficult at my age to find social circles with girls who are still single. You'd be surprised but the few girls that don't have a bf/husband yet usually aren't looking or aren't willing to lower their standards, or not down to my level at least. Oh well, thanks anon.

>>37374553
>OP is a tall handsome white guy

Who would have guessed

>>37374260
if i don't want non virgins i don't care if it's a turn off for them anyway
i just want girl to share first time with that's all
after that i wont care anymore as i'd become one myself
what's wrong with that?

>>37370666
Nice Satantrips

You need to find a nice girl that respects you for your ideals and quirks, she's out there somewhere. Libraries are full of those dames

>>37370336
I've known this girl since high school and crushed on her for about a year and a half, until around late 2014 (she got a BF so I moved on). I barely thought about her for a good amount of time until she started trying to talk to me again. More recently we've been spending time with each other and I told her I had feelings for her. She said the same for me. The problem is that she was still with her BF but it seems like they finally broke up a few days ago. Now the last two times I've messaged her there's been no response. I didn't say anything about her breakup (because she never told me about it and I learned through a friend) but it was mainly just to chill again. No response. I don't know what's going on now and feel more confused than ever. I can provide more info if you need it.

>ITT: outgoing 6'3 Chad shares his experience and techniques with robots

I know he meant well and that's nice change in this god's forsaken place.
But you can't seriously expect any of this to work for actual robots.

There are people who don't leave house, have no friends for years and can't hold irl conversation for longer than 15 minutes.
Often no interests, no social skills whatsoever, none existent self esteem and developing mental ilness.
If their last social memories are bullying and anxiety in school it's no wonder "me against the world" mentality is so prominent here.

Not to mention being ugly and often broke, in times where looks, money and validation are so praised and seeked in society.

It's like telling terminally ill person to stop being lazy and to get out of bed already.

>>37372693
So that this place can stop bitching about their lives 24/7

>>37375312
I ain't him.
You've only waited 2 days for this girl that just broke up a relationship of a year and a half. Just wait. She needs time to sort her life out, and probably isn't talking to anyone except her closest friends.

>>37375377
I hear you, but that's why I styled it in an "ask and you shall receive" manor. I only want to help those who ask for it, because those are the ones who can be helped.
>>37375312
There's a lot that could be going on here. Her attraction to you may have burned bright but burned fast, and died out before she even was able to act on it.
There's s chance she's still very into you but she feels some sense of guilt about the break up, maybe her boyfriend suspected another man.
Also, she may just be dealing with a lot from the break up and needs time to recover. You know the relationship better than I do, so if it's appropriate, send a text along the lines of

"Hey I just heard about what happened. I'm sorry, I know that kind of thing is never easy. If you need someone to talk to about it I'll be here."

This establishes you as the good guy, the shoulder to cry on, etc. If she has feelings for you, this will remind her exactly why. And it opens up discussion. After that text, don't text again until she responds.

>>37376506
>>37376596
Thanks bros <3

I'm aware that a three year relationship is a huge time and emotional commitment. I just interpreted the lack of communication as me fucking up somehow. Going to heed the advice from both of you and take it slow, easy, and be patient. Cheers!

>>37370915
Anyone else finding these answers vauge as hell? Fucking positive energy? Wjat the fuck?

>>37376860
He didn't ask a real question.

>>37370336
how to kill myself fast and without pain?

>>37370509
Just bullshit. Worked for me so far.

>>37370459
>he thinks he can get anywhere without working on self improvement and practicing his social skills
Why are robots so delusional?