ITT:worst fapping experience

beat off with some conditioner once, made my dick peel

>entire family walks into the lounge at the same time as I'm beating it to the sex scene in Titanic
>I was 12

>>37366922
Just the talk of male dick getting cut or peeled makes me cringe a little bit

>>37366961
it was awful, itched so bad i couldnt go out in public

>>37366922
>tfw not cut
>i can even fap in the beach underwater

my worst experience would be
>12 or 13 years fapping in the bed lights off
>was fapping and didn't heard door
>suddenly feel a hand touching my hand
>bro can i sleep with you? that movie got me scared
was my lil sister gave me my first blue balling

I fapped one swim trunks when I was 15
My dog found them and licked them
I vomited said I was sick
Now when ever I see that dog lick somebody I cringe
The dogs still alive just really old and I can't ever look at it the same

>>37366826
Ripped apart my frenulum during an energetic fap.

Not nice.

>Decide to have a mid-afternoon session
>Get naked
>Put on some good porn and start jacking it
>Bee comes in through basement window
>Cat notices, starts chasing bee around
>Bee keeps buzzing around, I ignore it and keep fapping
>Getting close to climax
>Feel something tickle my balls
>Look down
>The bee is on my nutsack
>Cat comes shredding through the room
>No time to process what the fuck is going on
>Cat swipes for the bee
>Bee escapes, but my sack gets fucking slashed
>Stand up and kick cat out of rage
>Cat digs claws into my foot and climbs up my leg, anchoring himself into my flesh
>Panic and fall over sideways
>Cat ends up between my legs
>Pass out from sheer terror

>>37367134
What happened how do you explain those injuries

>>37367029
why didn't you fuck her

organelle

>>37367180
I never seeked proper treatment for it, I was so ashamed. The cat is the only witness.

>>37367134
Keeping a psychopathic reincarnation of a single mother was your first mistake

>>37367182
she was too young and i wasn'tba degenerate back then

>>37367223
So you are mutilated down there or just battle scars

>>37367223
The bee is Also a witness fuck you have to kill me before they talk

>>37367266
Luckily my ballsack is fine... I have very faint scars on my legs that are only really visible in certain lighting, but it's no big deal...

I never fap when the cat is in the room anymore, because she's made the association, "HE'S FAPPING? BAD SHIT'S GONNA GO DOWN."

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>>37367359
Well this is why i have dog it's not a dick and it won't be a threat to my penis

>>37366922

I used hair gel, same made my dick peel made me lose out on getting first sex, I shit not

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>summer of 09 or some shit
>cousin is over
>bed time
>sleep in bed next to mine
>pornography of some kind is on hbo
>feel penor getting hard
>try that newfangled master baiting
>start jerkin under sheets
>no idea how to grip
>spit in hand for lube
>just dries out
>get mad
>start slapping dick
>I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU
>alternate between mishandling and beating
>finally orgasm
>nothing comes out
>start to fucking vomit on carpet
>taste the partially digested mozerella sticks I had at bowling alley
>glance over at cousin
>eyes wide fucking open
>never talked about it again
>rarely talk ever since
>mfw during the masturbating part

>>37367459
I hope those mozzarella sticks were good

>at a library a few years ago
>go into bathroom stall for a wank
>mute phone and turn on porn, begin fapping
>bathroom door slams open and bangs into the wall
>dude comes in, hear a faint tapping noise.
>"ANYONE IN HERE? HULLO?"
>mortified silent
>dude shuffles over to the stall, tries to open it
>"HELLO, IS ANYBODY HERE?"
>too scared to announce presence
>sudden silence
>hear velcro sounds, groaning and a faint thud followed by more groaning, then silence.
>I assume he left or something, so I resume fapping
>few minutes later, hear someone loudly banging on the bathroom door, yelling,
>TIME TO COME OUT NOW!

>about to cum
>get horrible awful cramps in leg
happened a few times in my life

>>37367029
>tfw no climax denial imouto

>>37367741
>Knocking intensifies
>Hear groaning and then growling coming from outside of the stall
>man outside of the bathroom yells, "TIME TO GET UP AND COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM, SIR!"
>Hear howling noises coming from near the
>suddenly see a man crawl under the fucking stall
>there's blood dripping out of his arm, looked like a suicide attempt but not sure
>dick goes flaccid
>dudes eyes roll into the back of his head and he starts pissing all over the place
>can't get up to leave as the dude is taking up all of the remaining space in the stall
>someone manages to unlock the bathroom and drags him out
>dick totally flaccid by now

Fucking homeless people ruining my faps...

>>37367822
The homeless dude wanted to fap too

>>37367741
What the fuck happened next?! Did you open the door or did you stay in the stall.

>>37367878
see >>37367822

I never found out what happened to him, as I didn't leave the bathroom for at least 10 minutes after he was gone.

>fapping under the sheets during a lazy sunday
>right as I reach the point of no return my dad opens the door and proceeds to start having a conversation with me.
>looking right in his eyes as the orgasm crests....

that was the most disturbing orgasm ever....always made sure to lock the damn door after that.

>>37367987
When i was a kid I didn't have a lock
I had to time mine and a few times I had to hold the door down putting pants on while my family tried to walk in

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This was probably the most scary but I have plenty of stories.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvHcH5T8oTk
>tfw this actually happened to me
>tried to nut several times in a row and do it successfully
>balls go numb, my fucking left LEG went numb
>feel like my balls are going to fall off for the next several days
>really really scary feeling
>have to literally hold them while walking around the house for fear that they will just randomly rip off
>I now have to limit the amount of times I fap per week or else my balls feel like they are going to fall off

One more.
>circa 2007
>first and only gf is staying at my apartment over the weekend
>She has a fucked up family life, and for some reason or another has to do laundry at my place
>She's a bit of a tomboy, and has some unconventional fashion choices, including wearing unisex/male clothing on occasion

>she comes by to do some laundry, we play some vidya and shit.
>leaves a couple hours later and takes her clothes with her
>she accidentally leaves a pair of unwashed underwear in my room
>boxer briefs, but I don't care what the fuck she's wearing
>decide to be a degenerate and do the whole sniff the underwear and fap shit
>cum buckets
>keep the undies under my bed and use them to cum daily for like a week
>one day, gf calls me
>"Hey Anon, did I leave a pair of boxers at your place?"
>"y-yeah, I washed them for you, they're still here!"
>"Thanks, my dad's been looking for his missing pair. I guess his laundry got mixed in with mine"

Words cannot describe the disgust that I felt when she said that.

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>>37368169
>"Thanks, my dad's been looking for his missing pair. I guess his laundry got mixed in with mine"
dear god

>>37366826
>be me at a friends LAN party
>we recently had bought xanax and weed from some mexican kid
>basically we just wanted to try doing drugs like all the cool kids
>about 1 hour after we started playing WoW we started smoking and popping pills
>instead of playing vidya we ended up grunting at each other and howling at the ceiling
>dont remember much after that except that i was suddenly really horny
>eventually everyone else had passed out
>the guy hosting the party has a small white dog
>thiswilldo.jpg
>take it into the bathroom with me
>try to fuck it up the ass
>while trying to push my dick inside of a small dog it shit some piss colored liquid onto my penis
>fuck
>let it out of the bathroom
>wash my dick off in the sink and ended up using soap as lube and jerked off into the sink
>go to the couch and sleep like a baby

Was the grossest thing ive done to fap besides stick the handle of a toothbrush up my ass to expirement.

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>>37368169
holy mother of fuck i am laffin

>>37368235
Poor bastard huh, doesn't even know it.

>>37366826

>Open favorite porn video of all time
>Start getting into it, jerking my fully erect penis
>Mom calls and tells me my dad died in the hospital

>>37366826
>get home from work
>want to jack off
>dont even think about locking the door because parents are anti-secretive nazi's
>"URRR WHATS THIS DOOR DOING LOCKEDDED!!!!"
>figure it wont take long to get off
>start
>mom just fucking walks in
>sees
>"OH!-"
>leaves
>leave the house
>come back and have a wonderful talk with my dad about how porn isn't true to life

I was fucking 24.

>>37368380
Holy hell I fell bad for you

>>37368169
dude rip in piece

>16
>In bathroom looking for lotion
>No more
>"What the fuck am I gonna use? Theres gotta be something."
>Spot Vick vapo rub
>This'll work, plus it feel nice and cool on my chest, it'll feel nice and cool on my dick!
>Find a nice video
>Lather on a heavy amount of vapo rub on my dick
>Felt great at first
>"Nice and cool, just like i thou.."
>The cool feeling changed quickly
>It was starting to burn
>"Hold on, it still might be fine, this might be a GOOD burn"
>I was wrong
>The burning sensation only intensified as time went on.
>It quickly got to the point where my dick felt like it was under steaming hot water
>"FUCK WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, FUCK THIS HURTS SO BAD!"
>Try rinsing it off with cold water
>It was no help
>I gave up, and I just sat in my bathroom for for about 10 minutes before the burning sensation started to diminish.
Dont use Vapo Rub guys, unless you want your dick to feel like its in a blazing inferno.

>>37368508
I made this mistake twice somehow... It was fucking painful, and ruined the orgasm.

>>37368508
You just inspired me for prank idea

>>37368636
thats some sinister shit

>>37368757
You betcha but creative

>>37366826
>Older brother is always a dick to me. Physically abusive and shit.
>He gets away with so much shit for some reason
>After years and years of putting up with his bullshit, I snap after he decides to put strawberry jam in my fucking VCR

I hatched a brilliant plan.

>get into the fridge, open his huge jug of coffee creamer and cum into it
>do this 3x a day
>he drinks coffee at the same time every day
>he's literally swallowing my jizz every fucking day
>3 weeks later, he throws the coffee creamer out because he never keeps anything past the sell-by date.
>He cracks open a fresh bottle of creamer, I get to work on it the same day.
>this cycle goes on for weeks and weeks
>one day I get a little too into it and somehow put the tip of my dick into the bottle
>jizz
>...the fucking bottle is stuck to my dick

Long story short, I managed to crack the bottle open and get it off, but not before my brother and parents found out about everything...

They embarrassed the fuck out of me... And somehow I developed a coffee creamer fetish within a few weeks... Now, I can only cum if I have coffee creamer or other cold dairy-based liquids as lube.

>late at night watching gundam on adult swim in the living room
>teenage dick gonna do what teenage dick do
>pull out the laptop and start masturbating on the couch
>father for some reason is still awake and comes down from upstairs
>i dont see him until hes standing 2 feet away from me
>i get incredibly scared and shook and my first reaction is to point at the tv and yell "LOOK! LOOK AT THE GUNDAM! THE SHINING FINGER IT GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!!"
>dad just walks into the kitchen and sits down, doesnt even grab anything from the fridge or do anything, just sits in the dark
>my mind is blank and i have no fucking idea whats going to happen at this point
>teenage instinct takes over and i continue jerking it until i cum
>clean up, turn off the TV and go upstairs to my room
>hear my father coming up the stairs behind me
>crawl into my bed and pull the cover over my head
>dick still rock hard
>not sure if he's going to beat me or try and fuck me
>he comes into my room but doesn't say anything and then just leaves

I fucking hate this site for making me constantly relive this and other repressed memories

>jerk off
>feel pressure on the back of my neck
>cum
>most intense pain I've ever experienced in the back of my head
>end up rolling onto the floor somehow holding my head

Happens to me once or twice a year. Not sure what the fuck is going on. Only happens from jerking off never any other physical activities.

>was horny one night
>Also depressed
>Decide to go fap
>Want more after first rub
>Waited a while, got back to it
>Continue this process for 3 times
>Like an idiot do it dry
>Would add water but that burnt up
>Got a blister and some skin peeling on my dick.

>>37368958
Could be lack of bloodflow to your brain. Are you laying down when you fap? If not, you should try it.

>>37369025
Yessir, I always lay down. I do have a really low blood pressure though, so I think you're probably not far off.
Why does lack of blood hurt? Again it's all centred in the base of my skull/ back of my neck

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fapping to certain stuff you really shouldn't even be looking at kinda feels bad at some point

i'll let you guess what that certain stuff is

Camera cuts to dude's balls and asshole right when I'm coming
Every time

>>37369053
I'm not sure why exactly it hurts, but I have circulatory problems, so I experience the headaches maybe about 4x a year. I found that the more deeply I breathe, the less painful it is...

>walking home one night
>decide to wank on the way
>take a dark street
>see red and blue lights far ahead
>"fuck, the cops"
>take alternate path
>start wanking
>some cars pass by
>play it cool and move to a darker place behind a tree
>about to come
>see cops
>fuck
>hide dick quickly
>put my jacket over my cock and walk away
>cops stop me
>they start searching my pockets
>unzips my jacket
>fly is open
>"I was just taking a leak man"
>they say there have been robberies around that area lately
>thought I was stealing
>get back home safely

>sleeping over at a friend's house
>everyone's gone to bed after a long night of drinking
>i'm sleeping out on the couch
>decide to rub one out
>jizz on what I assume to be my shirt
>throw it on the ground
>roll over and go to sleep

>next day, wake up
>friend says, "Hey Anon, why did you take my family seal flag off of the wall and throw it on the floor?"

I haven't been back to his place for 10 years and counting

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I almost always jerk off into the toilet. People try to give me shit for this sometimes, but once I'm done jerking off I want to be done with myself ASAP. I don't want to be wiping cum off the floor because I overshot my tissues or picking shit out of my drain because I did it in the shower.

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>>37366826
>tfw decided to use pic related when fapping
>dick felt like it was on fire
>had to douse it with a cold shower for half an hour

>>37369095
I'll definitely keep this in mind. Thank you Anon, at least I know I'm not going to die or something with my dick out one of these days

>>37368965
lol @ cutfags
u deserve this

>idk
>testing things out

I fap laying down on my bed with my laptop next to me under a windowsill. My sister's 30 fucking pound cat always jumps down from it onto my lap top. Last week right as I was climaxing he jumped down, pausing the video. It felt like I had a jizz block up in my dick for hours.

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I used hot sauce as lube for fapping because I'm a huge fucking pain-slut masochist. It was very mediocre at first and barely hurt at all. I was so underwhelmed I decided to finish early, but it was like a delayed reaction and after I did my dick started burning like CRAZY. Even after I washed it with soap and water, I actually tried dipping it in a cup of cold milk too lmao. Had me shifting in my seat wringing my legs together for hours. Guess I got what I wanted though, it got me so horny after I while that I fapped and came again.

Maybe I'll try the hotsauce experience again sometime...

>>37369423
I won't judge but dang isn't that one of the most unlucky fetishes to have

>>37367397
I know a man who lost a testicle to a dog after he allowed it to lick peanut butter off of his genitalia and it decided to crush his balls.

>>37369540
I love it, the strong sensation is great, very intense, really spices things up for me. Regular masturbation is boring and insensate in comparison.

>>37369804
>really spices things up for me.
fuck you, did you intend that pun?

>>37369870
Sorry, I just think that a little bit of pain (or a lot) can be really hot.

>>37369085
What kind of porn are you watching?

>>37368915
Why did you keep fapping with your dad there, you full on autist

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>>37368169
Holy shit
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thanks for the keks my dude