So anon, what's truly on your mind?

always wondering about how to destroy cultural pillars

Right now it's baby's first existential dilemma
Probably happening because I'm stuck in a rut being a wagie and going to uni so I just think up shit like this to get my mind off stuff

is this really all there ever was?

How do I leave this world and transcend to the next?
The sky is shattering into void.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtJBOlOX6GY

>>37365727
>i shouldn't have been born
>how much a funeral cost
>can my family afford it?
>i wish i just dissapeared
>why i am even alive i almost died 2 times when i was a kid

Just some tunes while in this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L9vFNMvIBE

>>37365776
First you need to know how they're constructed

>>37365805
Just look forward to the present and not the future. Always think about the present

>>37365851
Sadly it turned out this way

>>37365872
I could go on and on about that but the only way would to live till something kills you off

Why is everything so boring and not worth-while?

Well my grampa just died and I'm sad to see my other family members so upset about it. We're having his funeral tomorrow and I hope it will bring them some closure.

>>37365727
I'm currently lying on bed (not phoneposting, I swear), thinking about how amazing it would be if I managed to reach my "short term" goals.
>Get a well enough paying job
>Move out of parents' house
>Rent a small comfy room in the city
>Have the money and freedom to do what I want in my free time
It would be so great. I've been spending the last days sending out applications for jobs in the city, and looking at ads for rooms on rent to relax. There is one I fell in love with. It's very narrow, but it has loft with a king size bed on it, and two comfy armchairs below. It has a huge window to the house's backyard and you walk into the room through a tall, french styled door. It's not that expensive (if I had a job), and I feel like I could be very happy there. I also like the house's rules:
>no parties
>no guests
>only people aged 20-35
Sounds so comfy. I want to live in a place like that so much. Tomorrow I will try to muster up the courage to apply for jobs personally in places that don't have a website.

File: 1494545888389s.jpg (8KB, 208x250px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 208x250px

>19
>can't drive
>no money
>failed my way through school
>forced to go to college for liberal arts
>crippled
>black
>no social skills
>manic-depression
>khv
>no friends

how do i take control of my life I want to be independent and autonomous

>>37366009
I'm sorry to hear that, anon. My grandma died last Sunday after being in hospital for one month. I'm very sad about it, and the whole thing was dreadful, but it seems to have brought my family together again, and seeing that is nice.

>>37366009
I had my grandfather's funeral in March.
It was very sad to see how upset my family was

I bought a guitar. It wasn't an impulse buy - For a long time I've been into music, and when I'm bored at work I imagine putting together a beautiful album composed of pieces of other music I love, and gaining a fanbase. Now that I have it though, I just don't care. Like with everything else in life, I can't care.

I'm depressed, but not sad. Life is a blur to me - my mood is constantly neutral, and trying to change it with any external stimuli is like pissing into a lake to change its color. I must have blown $500 in the past few weeks on long-term goals, and none of them made me even a little happy. When I'm at work, I fantasize about coming home, but when I'm home, I don't feel good. I play the same games, listen to the same songs, eat the same food. I could change it up, but I probably wouldn't feel it.

And that's the worst part. There is nothing to learn from this shitty period in my life. No revelations about the nature of life, or meaning. I got unlucky. Call it genetics. My prize was feeling dead inside for a few years in my prime, possibly longer. If the doctor doesn't fix this, I don't know what to do. You can't really call this life. It's nothing.

I'm lonely and unfulfilled. I want to go out and have experiences, but I don't know where to go. Every day I get further from my friends but I just don't know what to say to them. I'm close to graduation and don't know what to do for the future. As time goes by I get more passive, more apathetic, and more isolated.
I feel like the lights are going out on me.

>>37365805
>Right now it's baby's first existential dilemma
I don't know if it helps anon but the way one anon described it to me one time when I was having a constant existentialism was that existential thoughts are basically error messages that get in when your brain can't handle how fucked your life, unfuck your life and your brain will sort them out naturally, easier said than done but once you start focusing on positivity and improving yourself things do start to get better if slowly at first

File: 1491805057084.jpg (65KB, 750x642px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 750x642px

>>37366041
wrong image, but still accurate

>>37366064
goddammit get out of my head

The fact that my social life can only spiral downwards from here is troubling to me.

File: 1495421374594s.jpg (3KB, 125x125px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 125x125px

I can't tell if I'm gay or not
>0 interests in fucking guys/getting fucked
>0 interests in sucking a dick
>watch and jerk off to sissy hypo porn sometimes

File: FB_IMG_1491349805792.jpg (53KB, 684x960px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 684x960px

I cannot stop thinking back to my last relationship with my ex for weeks now and its built up so much i broke down the other night and it was the first time ive cried since she left me, and ive been fantasising about trying to hang out with her again for weeks. I think about what things would be like if we were still together and what we could have developed to be over the last 4 months.. I just wish we could hang like we used to, she told me she still cares about me and is my friend yet never talks to me at all..

>>37366160
Either you have low sex drive
you're a closet carpet muncher
or you're into feminine men.
Have you tried relationships?

How do I start hanging out with friends outside of school? No clue how to initiate the conversation, seeing as I'm as close as I can get to best friends with someone who I' do known for 4 years yet never seen outside of some sort of school environment (HS and college)

>38
>Cityboy Afrikaner
>Uncle died last Tuesday, only me now
>Fired from my job yesterday
>Missing 3 fingers
>Depression
>KHV
>Friendless
>Failed at school
>Can't fucking drive
>Supposed to inherit Dad's guns, police confiscated them
>Hair going grey
>Getting skinny
>All my clothes are wearing out
this is the end, there's nothing to live for now

>>37366203
Do you have their numbers or anything of the sort?

File: 1476928365556.jpg (154KB, 728x1032px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 728x1032px

>>37365727
There's a million things wrong, I hate my work, I'm poor as shit, fighting with my parents, failing college, but for some reason the one that's bothering me the most is my art skills, I've wanted to publish a comic since forever, I've drafted it out and all but my art is too shit to go on, so in the past I would start to practice but then always lose heart after a couple of months but this time though I've practiced almost every day for a year straight and I still haven't gotten any better, if anything I've gotten worse, it's like I'm just unable to learn. It's tearing me up because my dream is already so far off but I'm not even going to get a chance at it. I'd like to take lessons and have someone at least tell me if I have hope but I know it would just lead to fighting with my parents over me wasting money on useless shit.

>>37365727
>So anon, what's truly on your mind?

i am such a fucking weeaboo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8H_7_JbMiQ
i can't stop listening to this song. i listen to it about 10 times a day

the euphoria it illicits in me is just...unfathomable. when i listen to the song i have this strange feeling of comfort, like all my worries in the world just vanished. i dont get that shit anywhere else...

Well I've been thinking a lot about politics, and what I'm going to do when I grow up. I've also been thinking a lot about lifting.

>>37366249
Nein, I see them every day though.

>>37366041
>20
>black
>never had a job
>can't drive
>tfw no gf
>no talent

We're in this together blackbot.

File: 1f5abacf5244ee1f54cab86192e09d8f2ecd3a0c505bacaa919693c267c5f2d5.jpg (115KB, 1012x698px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 1012x698px

I went to pharmacy school and I hate it. Getting shit on by patients and doctors all day is not worth the six figures. I'm going to take a shot at the MCAT after intense studying for a few months, if I don't get 99th percentile I don't think any medical school will accept me. Wish me luck lads.

>>37366200
Not to brag but I had a girlfriend once
I'd say I do have a pretty low sex drive but I definitely like girls. It's just confusing when I get hard for sissy porn I guess

>>37366311
When its quiet or a similar conversation about outside activities is going on ask them if they want to do something or ask for their number.

>>37366295
Listen to shinsekai yori's ed

File: cjdjdjd.jpg (81KB, 596x580px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 596x580px

Yesterday was the day he died. It has been awhile, but I still remember standing in the stream placing logs to make a damn. The stream rushing past our ankles. The light drifted through the green freshly sprouted leaves. The warm air all around us. Nowadays I am a husk traveling to destinations, with no care for what the results may be.

>>37366372
I completely misunderstood what you were saying then my bad.
I don't know man, maybe you just have a really weird fetish.
Sissy porn is definitely gay since there's a dick but maybe you're just bi?

Just got back from a gaming event and it made me feel like shit.

Never gonna be able to be good at social interaction and it sucks.

>fuck my hairline is actually receding
>this is not a nightmare, I am actually experiencing this shit right now
>I am getting fat, but food tastes so good
>I am a loser
>I cannot believe how ugly I am
>small penis small penis small penis
>I just want to stop eating so goddamn much but food is the only thing that feels good anymore

>>37366200
>>37366372
I'm a guy tho

oregano

I see my father's slowing down each year and realize the same will happen to me. There is no stopping it. My youth is slipping away with each second.

want to get a job
want to lose weight
want to move out of my parents house for good
want to find a good woman and settle down
want to finally get a taste of happiness instead of always chasing it

>>37366381
didn't do anythig for me

here are some songs that do something for me


http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8idew_rahxephon-opening-hemisphere-de-maa_creation
when i'm anxious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkmMsH5ssc8
when i'm depressed

File: castle3.jpg (71KB, 680x467px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 680x467px

I'm hoping to text this girl soon, asking if she'd like to go to a concert this weekend. I loved her back in highschool, but we graduated two years ago. She actually messaged me first recently, and we hung out. I want to see if I can make something happen this time, but I'm scared I'll fall for her all over again.

Never having a girlfriend, or even kissing a girl, has done a lot of damage to my mind I think. I'm scared of touching or talking to people often. How does one escalate into a romantic relationship?

>>37366203
If you have a group of friends already in school, try to get in a Facebook group chat or make a new one. That way, when people are making plans, it's usually an open invitation to everyone in the group.
>>37366064
I know that feel. No material stimulus gives me an ounce of joy anymore, at least I have more money now.

>>37366511
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkmMsH5ssc8 [Remove]

That's atmospheric as fuck

>>37365851
There is much more. But we we cannot break out of the world constructed by people in the past. To them this is the "good life."

We know it's a prison.

>>37366511
How about this anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lxke2YUjBcM

how worthless i am becuase i stay bored all the time

i wanna fall over dead or not wake up. too scared to use my gun or rope

>>37366064
No one understands you either. There are no uplifting "survivor stories" because complete Anhedonia is relatively rare. The most you'll get is a scant few posts on forums that say "I finally did it!" with them shrugging when asked about a solution.

I wish I could convey to you how shitty this really is. You get a tangible feeling in your bones that absolutely nothing is enjoyable. That spark of "comfiness" you get from falling rain or a warm fire never happens. Nothing can make you feel. At best, you can be irritated, but even that doesn't last.

The only plus side is that it's not too hard to get by on a day-to-day basis. You keep working, idealize something in your mind, finally get it, realize you don't care, spend a night talking about it on 4chan, and repeat the process. And the months go by.

Even writing this doesn't feel good. I keep doing it in the vain hope that I'll get a response from someone who will give me my solution, but that reply isn't coming, and my quick solution doesn't exist. This disease has uprooted my entire being. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this, and I don't think I'll be able to take anything seriously after.

>>37366041
Join a DnD group. You'll be the black warrior. Everyone needs a black warrior.
And you'll probably be the coolest guy there.

File: 1494984491894.jpg (87KB, 500x533px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 500x533px

I'm fairly content with my life right now (good job, apartment to myself) but extremely bored outside of work. The fact that I have no desire to leave my apartment in my free time kind of exacerbates this problem, I suppose. I'm trying not to make it seems like I'm complaining because I am the enabler, and it's not really a problem in the first place so whatever. Also tfwnogf

Also I like elf girls

>>37366591
i didnt need to be this spooked at 11:19PM anon

>>37365727
Army deployment

>>37366591
here's a non-anime song that's haunting but calm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDx7nFQzVos

you would probably like this
(if you saw my previous post, i posted wrong link due to CTRL+C error, this is the correct link)

>>37365727
Nothing would make me happier than to be forced to work as a maid in a house full off aggressive demonic muscle girls with dicks who regularly humiliate me and use my ass as a cum depository.

>>37366726
Welcome to the late night hour of r9k.
>>37366844
Do you happen to listen to lophee?

>>37366906
>Do you happen to listen to lophee?

Who?

>>37366931
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuw1VDsmOWOldKGLYq6AkVg/videos

Lophee, I think you'll like the songs they put out

>pay off student loans
>move out of parents house
>get a job that doesnt suck ass

>>37366954
Favorited, i'll check it in the morning. Thanks anon

question - do you do drugs or alcohol? i'm a straight edge, and find i don't need drugs to deal with depression when i can just get lost in music instead. it's a different type of high.

Male here.
Well. Ive talked to myself 90 percent of the time and Ive said some meaningful things.
Im an animator. I draw. I listen to music.
But Im forever in the dark.
Like the after life dark.
Im coming up on 22 now.
Never been in a single relationship.
Never did anything wrong.
Growing up I had 7 step dads.
6 of them cheated on my mom, 1 was forced to leave because his son molested me when I was 4. And yes I am a male.
And not a damn 1 taught me anything valuable
real dad was divorced and always at war as a navy seal.
So its weird.
Im not gay.
But I was raised by a single mom.
I feel like this is all her fault why I can never be in a relationship.
All she did was drown me in women hood.
Had 4 girls act like my friend when I was younger.
Got friendzoned 4 times
Burned all the bridges and just gave up.
Where am I now?
at 22 years old.
Im now stuck in the black.
Some kind of deep limbo where you have to keep everything to yourself.
nobody listens here except you.
Its over.
fuck

>>37367071
I don't do drugs or alcohol.
For some reason I'm always calm and never truly fell deep into depression.

>>37367117
just depends on your mental state and the challenges you're facing

but it seems to be that people who think deeply with music tend to use drugs less, i wonder if there's a connection?

>>37365727
>thought I finally found a girl who liked me back
>every time I invite her out there's an excuse
>takes hours to text me back
>sometimes literal days
>know she doesn't like me
>can't get her off my mind


I know I should just give up y'all, but damn I don't wanna be wrong.

File: (46).png (400KB, 650x650px) Image search: [Google]

400KB, 650x650px

>been feeling like complete shit
>girl i was seeing ditched me, job was ogre etc
>cave in and message my 6 years ago ex via a facebook profile that i set up for work
>come back tonight
>she replied
>message starts with "i fucking hat..."
Damn..
Do i want to read this?

>>37367226
There probably is.
Music helps my mind wonder astray so maybe people without creativity use drugs?

I came home from uni two weeks ago. I had all these goals -- I was going to get a job, take piano lessons from my friend's mom, and join the local gym.

All I've done is jerk off and play Total Annihilation. My sleep schedule is fucked up beyond repair.

I was doing so great in college. I made a 3.8 this year, and even though I failed terribly with the one girl I tried to get with (we were friends, I got black-out drunk at a party, she had to drive me home with all of her rando friends in the car), I wouldn't have even tried in high school.

It's so frustrating to go from having my shit together to being a total NEET in two short weeks. I've applied to 20 jobs, and not a single one has gotten back to me. I really need to start working within the next 3 days, or I'm going to go insane.

>>37367248
Read it and post it here anon

>>37367313
i don't use music to escape the world, i use music to find it

im off to bed for tonight but thanks for the conversation, maybe we can meet again

Worried about death
Every time I want to go do it I can't. Hoping Tuesday works out better. Just looking for that final push.

>>37367360
See you around, r9k, anon.

I'll never have a girlfriend. I will never have someone that I can hug, or kiss, or hold hands with, or do anything that couples do together. So many other 20 year olds at my uni are out socializing with tons of people and having a better day than I ever will, meanwhile I'm sitting here listening to music, browsing 4chan, and studying like a complete faggot. The only times I even go outside are to get between classes, and running every night, which helps me feel better sometimes, but makes me feel worse other times, when I see before mentioned perfect people. To be honest, I'm just really jealous and spiteful.

I have always grown up waiting for something, I always feel like my real life will start soon, yet I'm now in my 30s

I'm what you would call a normie, I have had and have a better life and experiences than most, but I've found it all very very mediocre.

I don't know what will ever make me happy.

My biggest problem has always been laziness and procrastination

>>37367557
any hobbies? even in my free time i feel like im loosing it man

i just sit

>>37367557
Have you had any relationships or female friends that you can open up to?

>>37367588
Not physically, I drink and take coke which feels good at the time, but I feel suicidal after
>>37367607
I have a gf, but I can't talk to her properly, I've never opened up to anyone apart from on here. I don't even know if i should be with her.

I'm thinking about the NBA finals and how badly I want Cleveland to win.

>>37365727
death once upon a time I had dreams and aspirations but they've slipped away along with youth and happiness

File: beach 1.png (635KB, 1500x751px) Image search: [Google]

635KB, 1500x751px

>>37366637
>I keep doing it in the vain hope that I'll get a response from someone who will give me my solution

Go to the beach. I won't tell you how to live your life, because I don't know how to, and anyone that pretends to is selling you something. Hell, I'm not even that great at my own. Just go the beach, do whatever you want. Climb around rocks and look in the tide pools, bodysurf and catch a wave, meditate, sleep and listen to the tide roll in. It doesn't even have to be the beach, maybe the forest, hills, a lake, anywhere you feel at peace. Get off of 4chan for a while. Just think about things. Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I'm not judging you, in fact too many people today do it. Simply find the weakest link in your chain of problems, rearrange it as you want, get rid of it. Or just relax. It's all up to you.

I have a friend from high school who let me cuddle with her whenever we got together the past two years. It's the only close contact I've ever had with a girl even if it's just once every few months or so. Just last week, she said we couldn't do that anymore. It was literally one of the only things I look forward to and I want to cry.

File: download (2).jpg (6KB, 299x169px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 299x169px

I've got one thing on my mind
ESCAPE

>>37367698
That sounds amazing, what was it like anon?

>>37367698
That sounds really comfy.
Sorry to hear that its gone

>no friends
>wagie
>work makes me want to not move after
>getting fat because no gym
>ugly
>not motivated at all, won't even watch animu
>hate myself for not talking to crush a couple months ago
>will most likely never see her again

This summer is gonna be the worst.

>Post in thread
>everyone gets (you)'s but you

How I'm driving myself nuts can't stand being in my own head where me or whoever is there keeps pestering me constantly and it leaves me existentially uncomfortable. I'm so tired of this shit

>>37367966
If you're who you think you are, I gave you a (you), anon

>>37367695
Thanks. I know that, buried somewhere in the mess that is my life, there is something I can do to feel good apart from taking meds. It's true that having a guitar doesn't feel good like it used to, but when playing it just now, I felt a tiny spark. There was a little bit of motivation there to make something - like a few songs, piece by piece. I'm not sure why. It's a goal, though, and I'll stick to it.

Thanks for the idea, man. This year I want to take a bus out to the coast and just hang out around the islands. It would be nice.

>>37365727
I'm wondering how long it's going to be before my luck runs out, and what will happen when and after that happens.

>>37367966
I haven't gotten a (you) yet. So here (you) go.

File: IMG_1500.gif (980KB, 540x296px) Image search: [Google]

980KB, 540x296px

>>37365727
>what's truly on your mind?
Honestly a whole lot, like I don't know why but I get a lot of attention from some people and it's super annoying. Sometimes I wish it would just end.

the destruction of the white race and the fact that the west is being overtaken by brown people, and pretty soon white people will be extinct
no, I'm not worried at all

File: Turn it off... TURN IT OFF! TURN IFRROUGH!.gif (2MB, 210x155px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 210x155px

>>37367695
>go to the beach
>it's infested with normies flaunting their perfect bodies
>people snicker at me for being alone

There is no escape. And before you ask, no I don't have anybody to go with.

>>37365900
I feel a lot of that anon. Sucks that we can't choose to be born or not. I was gonna write a note and tell them no funeral. Fuck it. Why make them have to go through it?
>>37365983
I really don't know anon. Some people just get lucky in life, while others, like most of us here, really have to put forth the effort to get what we want. It never gets any easier.
>>37366011
Good for you anon! Setting goals is a good step towards your future. Applying for jobs in person is scary, but really easy once you've gone through the motions. You can do it!
>>37366069
I know how you feel. When I graduated last year, I had no clue what to do, and was jealous of all of my friends that had an actual plan set out for themselves. All you can do is keep trying. I know it's hard, and you've probably heard it 100 times, but focus on what you're good at, and head that direction towards a career.
You still have a ton of time man

>>37365727
I don't like life. It's not that I haven't tried something or I haven't found the right activity or partner. I just don't like it in its very core. Schopenhauer said that we are biologically wired to give pain more precedence. If you are perfectly healthy but your feet are very sore you will not be experiencing a pleasant time. The way you feel will not even be proportional to how healthy your body is. Your body will prioritize the pain over everything. I think this applies to emotions and every other aspect of life. Great biological tool but it's shitty as a emotionally and mentally complex species. It's not appealing. I will not kill myself though.

>>37366139
How so?
>>37366199
Sorry to hear that man. I know you loved her, but as far as it sounds, she has already more than just moved on. Of course she cares about you, as you two probably worked well together, but she probably sees it now as a time for new beginnings. Maybe you should try and do the same, work on yourself. >>37366207
Really sorry to hear that man. I wish I could try and help you out, but considering you've probably heard the same rhetoric constantly, I fear that there isn't much I can tell you. I just try to remember that hey, life might suck right now, but can you really get much worse than where you are currently at? Once you've reached your lowest point, and picked yourself back up from it, then you will see how much more you can achieve. Might sound like bullshit, but you've been alive for 38 years. That's longer than 99% of this board has. If anything, be proud for sticking it out this long

>>37365727

trying to buy my independence from the system, selling time of my life for bucks is disgusting.

i can't understand the rep work has, it's such a obvious fraud.

that said with a gov job + investments i hope i'm free in 10 years as long it's just me.

if my parents ever need money or if i have a son it's game over thou. the second i can live without , but i don't think i can betray my parents, even if they are really dumb with money

>>37368004
Thanks anon for this you but you didn't respond to me.

>>37368189
What post was it? Mine was >>37367227

File: bart simpson.jpg (37KB, 500x889px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 500x889px

I don't know if anyone is going to respond, but I just want to vent.

I've realized that I,m going to die alone. I've realized that my bitterness towards women was just masking this realization as something that I can handle. I've realized that I will never spend my life with someone else. Never doing things with them or enjoying moments of my life with another.

I wanted to be with someone so badly. I wanted so badly to help someone else because its the only way I can help myself. I wanted so badly to be with another person full of life and hop, thinking they could take away my despair and hopelessness

I've realized that no one is ever going to want me. No one likes me for who I am, there is no one who I can be honest with or talk to (except for you guys). even I dont like who I am becoming. But even if there was someone who wanted to be with be with me, someone who cared for me, I know I couldn't love them. I know I dont have it in me to care enough for another. I could never be good enough for someone else. I know that none of this really matters, but I cant help It.

and I think that the worst part of all this is that I'm only 18. I have gave up on love even if I have time. I've never even had a crush or a date didn't go to prom, etc.

I dont cry anymore about it though, I've lost the will to feel for myself. Please tell me that things can better, because I'm almost at an end in this life

>>37368572
Ohhh it was in this thread, I thought you were talking about another thread!

>>37368576
fucking hell man, you're only 18, your life is just starting.

>be me
>in late 30's

once you're in my spot, you go ahead and feel that way. But you....you basically are just beginning adulthood, don't fuck it up by giving up so soon.

>>37368677
how do I continue

just wondering if I will die alone and the idea is a bit unsettling

>>37366257
Sounds rough anon. Are you able to save up some from your job to afford the lessons? Also, convincing your parents would be nothing more than tough. It can be hard to see what sort of career you can make out of that, and they're most likely worried about your future financially. Fuck that though man, never give up. You seem passionate about it, as you've continued to work on it constantly. Don't give up on the things you love.
>>37366309
What do you want to do?
>>37366347
Good luck anon. Sounds like you're already set on your choice. I hope you do very well!
>>37366439
Hey, at least you had the confidence to be able to go out to an event like that. I don't want to sound like every other normie, but it's true when they say that putting yourself out there is one of the only ways to get used to talking to people, besides drugs. Getting a job, or even a hobby is always helpful. Bring a friend along and meet some of their friends. Anything you can do to get out of the house is already great progress. >>37366456
It was hard for me to get out of the food mentality. I ended up starving myself just to stop being so fat. Portion control is really hard to take into consideration, as like you said, food is fucking great. If read into some resources as to trick your mind into losing weight, or not wanting to eat. Eating fruit, drinking water before meals, putting food on smaller plates, etc all help a bit more than just not trying anything.

>>37368716

You are a good person lad.

>>37366054
my nan is dying of cancer, i'm probably the most unaffected member of the family even though i love her a lot

can't wrap my head around it

>>37368705
I honestly don't have an answer, since I'm you 20 years down the line.

If I could go back in time? I wouldn't be so negative and give it a shot with someone, even if it isn't a picture perfect ideal, so at least I can say I tried and experienced intimacy.

>>37368760
Same here famalam. My grandpa died of cancer some time ago and when he died I was kinda happy cuz I was sick of stressing about what would happen when he finally died.

>>37368749
All helpers are, anon.

Accepting my loneliness is not only my fault but irreversible.

Trying to find peace in solitude

>>37368760
same with when my grandpa died. People like us lack the normal feelings and compassion that others have. Its our burden, not a strength

>tfw i think i might be finally getting a qt thicc gf
>tfw this sunday i was making out with her all morning and my dick could only get half hard
>stopped watching porn and fapping, i don't want this to happen again, im only 20

i'm freaked out, my dick didn't fucking work, i'm just praying that quitting porn works

Tits.

Been like this for a while. I need to see tits. IRL tits.

>>37366485
Shit sucks anon. My grandma has been injured recently, and she is slowly starting to lose her memory. I feel like a shitty person as I'm not able to talk to her as much as I'd like. Cheris the time you have with him now. Everything may seem fine now, but it could all become hell tomorrow. Make the most out of what you have.
>>37366500
What helps for that is slowly taking steps to do that. Getting a job and saving up money can give you much more independence, allowing you to get out of your parents house, and focus on what you want to become. It's just a base foot in the door. Use it to pursue other career interests, and possibly find a woman along the way. I personally wouldn't waste too much time in finding a wife, as I would want to first be financially and emotionally secure, but, as it is your own life, do with it whatever you please.
>>37366543
It really just depends on your overall relationship with her. Do small things, such as make her laugh, take her out, etc and just gauge it. See if she's interested. See if she texts you first, asks you to hangout, etc etc. if all else fails, although it sounds stupid, literally be yourself. If you have to lie and act facetious just to get her to like you, if she finds out what you are really like, then she'll never look at you the same. Act how you normally would around her, then ease into moving it into a relationship.

>>37368716
>Are you able to save up some from your job to afford the lessons?
I make fuck all and I dump my money into living expenses, but it's not like I have unrealistic expectations, I don't expect to be some big hit or anything just getting an indie publisher and working a normal job would be fine with me I just want to see my dream come to life, I want to make something good at least once in my life, my parents are just tight asses because we've been poor as shit my whole life and they know I have no talent aside from writing

>>37368850
You might have to pull out the penis pump

>>37366600
I'm assuming there isn't anything at all that interests you, and I get how depression works. I would say "go fly to Tokyo and fuck some nice girls" but you'd end up asking what the point of that would even be. I would just try and block it out to be honestly. Although not mentally healthy, try to keep your mind occupied with anything else that you can think of. It makes living a bit easier. Most people end up doing that anyways, as realizing that we are all going to die one day is hard to think about for most. Do you have anyone you cold talk to about it?
>>37366816
Good luck anon. I hope you stay safe and I appreciate what you're doing for our country.

File: 1496099227984.png (80KB, 500x421px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 500x421px

>break up with bf of 1.5 years, stay friends
>get back together but now sort of regret it
>too picky looking for jobs and am stuck at home
>need to get my shit together but cant motivate myself
>sit at home instead of applying doing nothing

basically just me stopping myself from being productive

>>37365727
Being a massive failure

I'm a 33 yr old virgin
The loneliness has mostly passed, but the feeling of being a failure still lingers

It's better this way, though

>>37366439
>tfw reply got cut off
Anon I'm honestly socially retarded to the point where I considered getting tested for autism a few years ago. Just having the courage to go to an event and not being a ball of anxiety start slow shows you have hope, maybe try making some online friends first and practice talking in crowded discord rooms and the such, eventually once you feel comfortable there start transitioning to real people at work/school/conventions/wherever, its an uphill battle but social interaction does get easier as you go

>>37368932
You never want to stay friends with an ex.
It never works out and the taste of breaking up lingers.
Have you tried listening to music to try to motivate yourself?

>>37366864
Well, I don't know how common this is IRL, but you might be able to find something like that on fetlife or online forums. I was reading the other day on men who like to be "financially dominated" where they give women their checking account #'s, and constantly spend money to get bare satisfaction. They end up buying these women homes, or letting them move in, giving up the title of the home, etc. crazy shit. If that exists out there, then maybe your dream can come true too

>tfw 5'5" and 145 pounds

I can't connect with anyone, and I'm failing to improve myself any more as my motivation is dead. I don't want to die, but existing like this feels pointless. Worse, my family is bound to try to push me into a life path I don't want because I can't stay in stasis like this forever.

>>37365727
dick

I really want to just have someone cum in me

>>37369027
Well, there's plenty of people who will gladly cum in you, anon.

How much this site truly irritates me.

>>37368970
thanks for the reply anon
and it definitely lingers (on my part) since my feelings never developed as much as his. i'll try listening to music tomorrow tho

>>37366956
Good plans. Hope it all works out for you >>37367082
You sound very intelligent, considering the way you styled your post. Maybe you can use that to your advantage. You're only 22, and have so much time to find who you are looking for. I have a coworker who didn't find the one until he was 42. Never had a relationship before that, but he's been married for the past 11 years. It might take time, but there has to be someone out there for everyone
>>37367333
It takes time to readjust, but hey, you've got it all planned out. You already applied for 20 jobs, so hopefully one gets back to you sooner or later. What's stopping you from taking those lessons and joining the gym? You should try and start on that now, as you might not have as much time in the future when you are working. I believe in you anon >>37367493
There's nothing wrong with focusing on your career. (In terms of you studying) most college relationships are just pump and dumps, they don't amount to anything. Don't worry about them, as if you think about it, you'll probably never see 99% of them again. Also, you said you run every night. That's good, keeps you active and in shape. Why not try and join a track team of some sort? I don't know if your college has anything like that, but some of my local colleges do. If you're able to keep that up, you might also find some cuties who are into running track as well.

>>37368932
listen to >>37368970 Staying friends with an ex rarely works and getting back together works even less most of the time, ask yourself honestly is it your relationship holding you back? As time goes on most of the time it's the bitterness of the break up that lingers the most and trying to act like everything is fine just makes it worse. As for jobs sometimes you have to take a shitty job while waiting for opportunity to come up, I originally thought I'd hate my current job but I was desperate enough at the point it was offered to take it and I've loved it and been through several promotions now to the point I'll probably make a career of it.

>>37365727

The amount of normies and stacies on this thread >>37365466.

R9k is done for unless the mods start banning redditors.

>>37367675
Same man, fuck GS. Hoping for another 4-3 comeback
( Spurs lost ): )

Holy shit, I hate everything. That's petty much the only thing I can think about.

>>37369098
That's what I make these threads for, to help out anons.
Yeah I know how you feel. It happened to me eight months ago and it still lingers.
Hope the music works out for you anon!
If you ever see these threads again or if we ever talk outside of this make sure to tell me if the music worked out for ya.

In a weird limbo where even the smallest choices are going to define my future. Just want to find something stable, and live out my life quietly. Couldn't ask for much more, but it seems unattainable. I wish you all well.

>>37367684
How old are you now and what dreams are you thinking of? Where are you currently at in life?
>>37367707
Escape living? What trouble you buddy? >>37367943
Any chance you could quit, or go part time, at work? Might solve the no friend, feeling fat, and lazy issues. You'd have time to get in shape, meet some gym friends, and look better towards girls. Might help out a bit more. If you can't cut time short, try and make the most of it. You gotta realize that hey, I have to work full time, so if I want to do something extra, I gotta make time for it. Not necessarily relatable, but a friend of mine works full time, and still has time to go to college and go to the gym. I'm not saying that he is you and you should be able to do everything he can do + more, but try and come up with a work-around to your busyness. Sleep better, eat better, etc.

>>37368139
Why do you think your luck will run out? What's up?
>>37368280
What do you mean? You would rather be alone and talk to these people less? You could always take the ignore/block route if you're being genuine.
>>37368312
Oh

>>37368749
Thanks buddy, just trying to cheer some people up as best as I can. We all know life sucks, and it's hard when you're unable to truly talk to anyone about it. I can't personally be there for everyone, but I wish they felt like they weren't all alone

>>37369284
Is much rather just be left alone but for some reason people seek me out. It's the weirdest thing. Like, even when I ignore all that doesnis draw them in more.

>>37369242
>>37369284
>>37369318
Hey man thanks for replaying to everyone.
I've been quite busy myself so I didn't really get the time to (you) everyone.

File: 1495133754128.png (167KB, 752x587px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 752x587px

>click on an okcupid link
>I'm still logged into my female experiment account from 7 months ago
>immediately start racking up notifications

I fucking hate it all.

>>37368534
Thanks anon, it's reassuring.

>>37369365
How many do you think were robots?

>>37366160
I don't know if it helps, but I like MILFs and super thicc women to jerk off to, but I like being dominate and larger than the women I'm interested in.

File: okc2.png (3KB, 191x56px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 191x56px

>>37369400
Do you mean bots sending simple messages or robots also posing as fake people doing okc experiments? Solid numbers for both probably.

>>37369154
Same here anon

Original content

>>37368406
Private pool/beach if you're worried about others? Also fuck what they think. You're really brave for being able to go out there on your own and trying to enjoy the day. I hope they don't get to you that much.
>>37368494
I hear ya. Life sucks. Good on you for not planning on leaving anytime soon. it's tough to be anything more than just content nowadays. Hopefully you're able to find something more to life in the future.
>>37368537
It's nice to be financially independent, as the only person who can make or break you is yourself. Good on you for looking to get free of that soon. 10 years sounds like a long time, but being able to retire early would be a sanctuary. Hope it all works out.
>>37367227
I can be tough man. That same situation happened to me a couple of months ago. We hung out a few times, and everything felt great, but in the end, being left constant left on read, always hearing the "sorry anon I'm a bit busy right now, maybe some other time?" excuses led me to just dropping contact. She didn't care enough about me to even try and initiate contact, so why should I do the same? It sucked, but I was at least able to focus on other aspects of my life that I had been ignoring. Maybe you should stop talking to her for a while and see if she responds, and when.

>>37369458
I mean robots trying to get laid, not experiments lmao

>>37365727
watching riverdale desu
Betty has to be the biggest cuckqueen to date
poor qt

File: 1479226594559.gif (382KB, 305x233px) Image search: [Google]

382KB, 305x233px

MY MEDICINE GIVES ME RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME LIKE ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND I WANT TO CUT MY FUCKING LEGS OFF OR STOP NEEDING IT TO SLEEP FUCKING CHRIST IT'S ANNOYING

>>37367975
Are you able to talk to anyone about that? I don't want to sound like normie psychologist, but if you're being serious, you should talk to someone professionally trained to help you work that out. Could be major depression, with the voices telling you that you aren't good enough, you're a loser, etc. I would see if you can talk to someone about that, as there really is no way to truly silence the voices.

File: 1491107853785.jpg (103KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 1920x1080px

Nothing much really. Everything feels hazy and it's hard to remember things. My brain must be regressing already and it hasn't even been a year since I've started wagecucking.

I want to treat that bitch the same way she treated me

I'm worried about ____my gf's______ safety because of some of her retarded mother's decisions might have put them on the sights of very bad people but I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid. In any case she's moving cities soon or so I hope so that should help.

I'm worried about my mom's mental health

I'm worried the lie I've told everyone is going to fall apart very soon (this is a fact) and they'll learn I have at least four years of college left.

I'm worried I'm gaining weight, I guess.

File: okc1.png (8KB, 721x100px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 721x100px

>>37369476
Maybe one in every ten is an ugly dude with a beat-around-the-bush, beta message like this. I don't like replying for the most part- the numbers themselves are enough of a black pill, although I did tell off a handful of chads when I was deep in it.

File: 1491253776626.jpg (132KB, 700x679px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 700x679px

like most nights, suicide

>>37369564
Fucking chads trying to take everyone.

>>37368712
Sorry to break it to you anon, but technically, yes and no, you will die alone. With the concept of there being billions of people on the planet, it is possible that someone may die at the same time you die. The thing is, although no one knows what death is like, it's presumably like the blink of an eye. One moment you're here, and the next you're gone. You may be surrounded by the ones you love, as you lay on your deathbed, but only you would be the one dying at that time. Try to focus on spending your life with the people that you love and cherish, as life is short. Make the most of it when you can, because you never know how soon someone may just disappear

>>37368827
Why do you say that?
>>37368861
Hope you see some great tits soon buddy
>>37368914
Sorry to hear that anon. If anything, don't postpone your goals indefinitely, but again, I would try to save up. You might not make a lot, but if you able to save even some money, or find a better job that'll pay better, then you could get the lessons you need. What would paid lessons do? I don't know a lot about that environment, but I just assumed everything was on the Internet. Download some books, torrent some films, or even watch YouTube videos, to try and get tips on becoming a better artist.

>>37368954
Failure how?
Also who gives a shit if you're a virgin or not. Unless you're wearing a shirt that says "virgin" on it, most people probably wouldn't know that you are one. If you really care about losing it so much, you know there are ways to do that, but none of them are fun easy. You have
>tinder
>hooker/prostitue
>putting yourself out there
>getting lucky, girl falls for you, asks you out first, etc.

Weigh your options man. You know what you can and cannot do. Ask yourself if it's really worth it. At the end of the day, it's all up to you.

>>37368929
Thanks mate we are in a tight spot here hopefully no shot will be fired by either sides

File: 1481424663965.jpg (5KB, 250x187px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 250x187px

>>37365727
There has to be something more out there. I mean look at all those stars, surely there must be atleast one more civilization out there in space somewhere and a habitable planet that we could survive on. I wish I was born later so I could be a space pioneer, a space colonist.

>>37368980
Sorry to hear that you think it's so bad anon. There isn't much you can do aside from working out, or gaining weight, depending on how you want to do it. You know you can't get any taller, so try and make do with what you've got. You might be short, but show some bitches that you're the best thing for them. Obviously that won't be easy, but either you can wallow in self pity regarding something you can't change, or you can jump up to the notion that fuck it, I gotta do what I can.
>>37369015
Fuck your parents for that. You can do anything you want. It's hard to do anything though, when you have no motivation to do anything. Trying to get that back up is hard. You can go down the meme route, which actually helps, but it's pretty difficult to stay on top of it. Exercise, eat right, sleep well, stay clean of drugs, keep yourself up (in terms of showering, brushing tetth, etc). It'll help you feel a bit more positive and hopefully get you inspired to do other stuff. Again, I know it's hard to even stay on that path, but if you try taking baby steps first, like just eating right, then just sleeping right, then both, etc. You will have a better outlook and a much more positive experience.
>>37369081
How come?

File: image.jpg (89KB, 960x623px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 960x623px

Taking exam tomorrow for postal servic job
Be nice to get back to work
Hope I do well

File: 1496067210258.jpg (16KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 400x400px

I want to break the invisible wall that's keeping me from interacting with anyone else. I just can't approach them no matter how hard I try. Something is holding me back.

>>37369342
No problem, this site is usually fairly negative so some positivity might help change some minds on here

>>37366347

Good luck Anon, this is your one shot. Make it count!

>>37365727

My never ending desire to get back at my father for leaving me and my mother to rot in poverty. Miserable bastard owns a chain of bars and he uses me like a tool to make him seem like a good father by making posts on his facebook about how his possessions will come to me; when I know that it's not even a possibility. I can't seem to get over this and will dedicate my life towards making his life a living hell as he did to mine.

I'm supposed to feel at a successful point in my life but I don't feel exactly successful. I don't know what I'm missing, though, I never had many problems that isnt peyronie's disease

I haven't come up with interesting song lyrics in a while.

It used to be so easy. I wonder what changed.

>>37370068
That's the thing, anon. I don't know what the fuck is holding me down or back.

Why do the girls I truly like live far far away and why can't I just disappear into nothing

>>37369191
Sorry to hear that. Being stuck in a situation where one spot can determine what you can become in life is a thogh one. Hopefully, once your decisions have been made, you are at least content with the overall outcome of it all. Wish you luck
>>37369341
Haha. It's weird hearing about your issue on a site like this one, where most people are just seeking that attention. Are you a girl? If not, tell them to just fuck off and bother someone else for a while. If so, blocking or muting them would probably be the best choice. I mean, if the same people are constant annoying you, do you even want to stay in contact/continue to talk to them as well? If so, I would tell them hey, you're constantly annoying me, and if you don't stop I'll have no choice but to block you. Please stop contacting me so much, as I want to stay friends, but I do have other important aspects of my life that I need to get a hold of first.
>>37369398
No problem, just wish I could help out more all around
>>37369489
Never seen it but sounds cool buddy
>>37369509
Like where they are actively moving? Can you ask your doctor about controlling said side effects? I feel like they should be able to do something for it.
>>37369527
How's the wagecuck work?
>>37369550
How did she treat you?
>>37369556
Well, I'm assuming the weight portion is the least of your worries. Are you able to take your girlfriend somewhere else? Considering she's moving, are you able to go with her so you feel better knowing she's much safer with you? Also, sorry to hear about your mom man. Shit sucks. Is there any chance of her getting better? If not, spend as much time with her as you can.

>>37370101
It could be paranoia
It could be you just thinking that everyone will think badly of you

>>37370130
Maybe, anon... Maybe. Sure would like to get that out of my system though.

>>37369556
What's wrong with having to take more time in college? Even if you hadn't started, you would still have to come to terms with what you said. Are you able to just completely get away with it? >>37369588
Sorry to hear man. What's bringing you down so much? Why the last sentence? >>37369819
Yeah, try to keep safe if you can. Don't think much will happen other than just more words spouted though, but who knows.
>>37369843
Always thought about it too. Why were we all born here? Why not some other planet, and if there are other planets with life, how do they communicate, what do they look like, etc. hopefully we will find out in our lifetime
>>37369937
Good luck anon!! Hope for the best >>37369951
Who? Also, what can you do to break down that wall?

File: image.jpg (131KB, 640x792px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 640x792px

I'm really sorry anons. I'd like to reply to more people but I'm really tired and have work in 5 hours. If I see a thread like this tomorrow, I'll be sure to try and come back. I hope y'all have a good night/morning, wherever you are from.

>>37370110
Yes I'm a girl. I'll probably just do that then. Block them or whatever. I'll be more active in that sense. Yeah.

File: 1465105112217.png (202KB, 365x363px) Image search: [Google]

202KB, 365x363px

>>37370110
>Like where are they actively moving.

It's not like that it's fucking furiously frustrating. You know that feeling in your calf muscles when you needa stretch, yeah? So you stretch a little a FUCKING RELIEF. IT'S A CONSTANT NEED TO STRETCH WITH NO END. NO RELEASE. NO SATISFYING SENSE IF MUSCLES SUCCESSFULLY STRETCHED. I CAN STRETCH MY LEGS FOR 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT AND NOTHING.
AAAAAAASSASSSSSSDSAAAAAAAASDDFG
It is constant, I feel it right now. Dr said it can be temporary at night (when I take it) but it's day, I've been awake for 6 hours and it remains. Jerking off relieves it temporarily so I discovered but I'm only human, so I save it for when I desperately need to sleep.

Funnily enough though my medicine also seems to make my orgasms fucking intense and I shoot like a gun even though my diet consists of alcohol and cheese scones.

I'm just gonna settle with taking like 4 hours to get to sleep tomorrow I think at least it's comfortable

>>37370241

Goodnight Anon, may you have a blessed day tomorrow!

>>37365727
I wish I could fight the actual cuckoldry being so strongly pushed, and encourage people to be honest with their feelings and not consider "sexual hangups" to be a detestable thing. But I'm not good at arguing. It'd be nice if more people appreciated art of characters they like presenting themselves for them instead of being gangbanged because "sex is good". As if it's demonizing sex to say it's a happier thing to devote yourself to the one you love and rather she do the same for you.

>>37365727
We're all going to die one day. Life is fucking short. Too fucking short. It should go on forever and it shouldn't suck as much as it does, but it does suck and then you die.

Is it egoistical of me that I mostly think of my own demise and of me wanting to life forever? I also care about my loved ones and the rest of you fuckers, but mostly about me. I want to live forever, and also in an environment that is at least tolerable.

I wasn't raised religious, my parents are both atheists, so maybe that's why I have these thoughts so often. Then again I had two hyper religious psychosis in my life, where I was convinced of being immortal and on a divine mission of some sorts. Maybe there's something to it, maybe it's just fucked up brain chemistry deludes people into thinking there's something more out there than just.. just this. I doubt it though, there has to be a God, someone that cares. Maybe it's even us, us in disguise, like I was convinced of when I was psychotic. Maybe it's just me not wanting to die.

I'm still young and relatively healthy, and it's probably not normal that I think of death this often, but it's on my mind often, especially when waking up in the morning like now or when going to sleep. What happens when I'm dead. There has to be something. I also have these hyper realistic dreams quite often, to the point where it feels like I'm leading a double life in my dreams at night, maybe that's where I'll go when I die. I don't know. I just don't want to disappear, I also don't want to forget. I want to keep existing forever. Hold me anon.

File: 1496072938146.jpg (148KB, 849x694px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 849x694px

>>37370214
All I can think of is either punch it till it breaks and/or get around it.

Thanks, anon.

>>37370241
Have a good night's rest.
>>37370260
Ghosting and blocking works out a lot or you could just be as blunt as I am and tell them to fuck off.

Just been thinking about how to convert from wageslavery to neethood. I'm kinda stuck between feigning a mental disorder or slaving away for a few years and buying a trailer home and 2-3 appartments to rent out.

>>37370299
Life is the longest thing you'll ever have, anon.

Why did god allow black people to exist

maybe then i would have been born white and wouldnt suffer so much

>>37370474
That actually made me chuckle.
What're you doing so far away from pol

>>37370526
i used to visit pol like a year ago, but i stopped because it's a shit board. ive had these thoughts ever since i was like 7 yrs old though

worst thing ever is being one of the only black kids in a 99% white/asian high school

>>37370613
My friend is like that.
Just don't be an idiot and continue to be educated

File: RG 34.gif (2MB, 350x190px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 350x190px

>>37365727
Honestly pondering what keeps me living after my friends and family have all but abandoned me. Last person I actually talked to of my own volition was 6 2 months ago.

some chicks have shown interest in me when i have no interest in them whatsoever and do nothing but talk dismissive and come up with new ways to tell them to fuck off. but the problem is, then i literally have no interest in them whatsoever because i came to peace with the fact that i'm going to live and die alone.
as if they don't care what it is, if they can't have it they want it. i'm no prize. i'm a pile of shit with a do not touch sign and for some reason it seems like a good idea to touch

>>37370103
same feels anon, where are yours?

>>37370805
I know that feeling far too well.
I wish I liked them back

>>37370110
I am >>37369550 she lied to me and just used me to feel good about her sorry ass
I opened my heart to her I loved her and what did I get back in return nothing

>>37365909
Those are some pretty good tunes