Really simple shit you don't know how to do

>>37363812
>I shave my skin gets super dry, coarse and irritated

This happens with everyone. Use moisturizer.

I don't know how to blow my nose.

Whenever I try, I just wind up exhaling through my nostrils into tissue without anything happening.

It's sort of stupid and embarrassing, but I never learned.

>Can shave even without cream
>It's actually easier to shave groin when there isn't any cream
Feels pretty good. I don't know how to snap or whistle though

It needs patience, kid

I just wash my face with soap,rinse then relather with soap again then I shave it off. You want to soften the stubble up. This does that. A hot washcloth rested on your lathered face for a minute helps too. Use a moisturizer afterwards, don't use aftershave with alcohol in them. Burns like hell and dries your skin out

Just moisten you face with water before putting in shaving cream along with your razor then start shaving.

When you use shaving cream, are you supposed to rub it around in your hands first? or just put it on your face

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You need one of those hair clippers with the plastic teeth they use at hair cut places

remove the plastic teeth and just use the bare hair clippers to shorten your neckbeard

then follow up with any electric shaver like those ones with the three spinny cutters in a circle or anything else like that.


shaving with a blade is for faggots and cucks. the above method gets the job done quickly and efficiently. you may not have a perfectly smooth bitch twink face but who really cares?

>>37363812
I've spent hours trying to learn how to snap my fingers and years trying to learn how to play songs by ear. The most I ever got was a vaguely snap sounding noise after literally spending minutes getting the position of my fingers perfect, and I can barely learn really simple and slow rock songs by ear, I have to pause, rewind and listen to a really simple lick 10 times before I get it, and then I forget how to play it the next day.

Life sometimes just doesn't want you to have certain things, I've had countless opportunities to make friends and possibly have sexual contact, but no matter how hard I try, and how many pickup artist videos I watch, and how long I spend carefully planning my words and actions and behaviours, I always fuckup, and by the time I figure out the key to that girl, she's moved somewhere unreachable or long ago lost interest in me. There's nothing you can do but accept that you're completely clueless on some things, and will probably struggle to even do it to a basic level for your whole life. You just have to accept it and move on.

if your face gets really dry try a pre shaving oil

>>37364620
That's the best way of maintaining hair in my opinion, the easiest thing to do is use the lowest setting on clippers to keep it at a 5 O'clock shadow or light stubble, nobody's going to think worse of you for having a faint shadow on your face, even politicians and CEO's and all sorts of people like that still struggle to get a babyface even if they shave minutes before a press conference.

>>37364032
This. Shaved for years the way I read online, but still found I was cutting myself about half the time. Went without cream, just hot water one day and suddenly everything worked.
Shaving cream is a meme with a good, sharp blade, a nice aftershave balm is all you need.

> I don't know how to shave
> I don't know how to change tires
> I don't know how to drive
> I don't know how to tie a tie

>>37364655
i couldn't snap my fingers my entire life until about 2 months ago

the trick is how you place your ring and pinky. try this, get a pen, put it in your palm, then take your ring and pinky and hold it tight enough that it's not slipping. take your other hand, take the pen out without moving your ring/pinky and snap your middle finger.

what is shaving cream even for? I've never had a father figure show me why/how to use it, so I've always just shaved my beard without anything

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>>37363812
I was pretty sheltered as a child, so there's a lot of shit that I don't know how to do or just learned how to do recently (currently 20 years old). I never learned how to ride a bike. I just changed a light bulb for the first time a few weeks ago, luckily got it on my first try. I didn't masturbate until about a year ago. I just cooked pasta for the first time a few hours ago.

>>37364880
Supposed to soften up hair and form a protective lubricant along the skin's surface afaik.

properly tying a tie

ironing clothes

You need to whip the cream nigger, like tap it or some shit. make it creamy!!

>>37363812
I was never taught how to tie my shoe.
Please laugh at me

>>37364986
but I don't want whipped cream on my face, it will attract insects

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>tfw 20 and can't drive

Fuck my ass

whistling. can't fucking do it other than the stupid low bitch whistle

I still don't know how to swim.

I drowned twice when I was a kid so I instinctively freak out when submerged.

I often try to submerge my head in a bowl of water, but still can't do it.
Even running water on my face makes me instinctively breathe through my mouth and hyperventilate.

I wanna learn how to do that finger whistle thing that people always do at spouts bouts.

>>37364468

A little bit of both. What you're trying to do is to solve a mechanical problem: get this shit on your face so that you can scrape it off smoothly with a sharp knife so that your face is smooth and you don't end up bleeding that much. You also want to keep it out of your eyes, nose and mouth for obvious comfort/health reasons.

It's enough to wet your face, just limber it up a bit, even jaw exercises for a few seconds are nice just to psyche yourself up. Then you get just a bit of gel (it spreads VERY rapidly), you don't need a great big handful, just maybe like half a handful or so. You evenly spread it whereever on your face you need to shave, then you make gentle swipes, then keep going back over even after the cream is away - the face is all nice and lubricated now, so just gently pass the blade(s) over the work area. Try to get it close.

In my personal experience, the ideal blade is one that has actually been dulled after several uses, and the reason why that is is that it is no longer SO sharp that it's gonna cut you right off the bat. Try to go extra-careful around your chin area, that area is harder because of the bone (even for chinlets), and it's a prominent area (even for chinlets) so it's a place where you're gonna cut yourself if you don't take it very easy. Cheeks are easier because they stretch and "give" before the blade so they don't get cut up as much. Around the filtrum has some sharper edges though, despite the padding, so this is another place to take it easy.

A great trick: shave first, THEN shower. The shower evens the face out so you're not "raw", and if you're bleeding in spots, this heals up and becomes mostly a non-issue after several minutes under hot water, as long as it's not a deep stupid cut. I even recommend just a splash of aftershave right before starting the shower, just so things are done.

>teaches /r9k/ how to shave
>this somehow scratches a vague paternal itch that I have, but fuck ever having offspring

>>37363812
Ok, I'll make it real simple for you:
>lather face with warm to hot water
>apply foamy shaving cream and let sit for 2-5 min.(go brush your teeth or something)
>use a good razor(not a shitty dollar razor)
>and here's where everybody fucks up: ONLY USE DOWNSTROKES ON THE WHOLE FACE

I only cut myself maybe once a year? only because I got lazy and kept using a dull razor and slipped.

>>37364880

It lubricates the whole process, both literally and figuratively.

When you shave without cream, it can leave your skin feeling all itchy and raw and shitty because you just scraped it all with a metal blade with nothing to soften it. shave cream helps soften it.

It also helps to smooth the process so that you're not nicking and cutting yourself as much. What's the point of losing the neckbeard if you're now a shorn-face-bleeder instead. You don't look any better for it.

Is there any way to kill off all beard follicles to stop worrying about this kind of irrelevant shit?

Are you making sure your face is thoroughly wet before you apply the shaving cream?

You're not supposed to apply it onto a dry face.

>>37364878
kinda works anon, thanks for the tip I guess I'll keep trying whenever I've got nothing to do

>>37364880
It depends entirely on genetics, a black guy with a thick beard will almost always cut himself and get ingrown hairs if he just shaves with no preparation, if you're an asian guy you can probably get away with little to no preparation.

>>37363812
I had to watch videos online to learn how to shave honestly. even after than I shaved without shaving cream for awhile. now I don't bother shaving.

>>37365346
i had to watch a couple videos on how to shave with a double edge because shaving with them is kind of weird if you're not used to it. i still can't get a really clean shave on my neck without nicking myself

Each guy is different. I'm 26 and I'm still finding out ways to improve.

>used to get blotchy skin after shaving
Turns out I wasn't washing my face enough. That fixed it.

>shaving foam and my hair fucked my razors
Shave with just warm water and it comes off easier than ever

>long hair tugged away and hurt
Do a 'back and forth' action that's less painful

And in all likeliness those tips wont help you because everyone shaves differently.

>>37365112
This guy seems to know his shit, I've always found the chin the most difficult, especially because I have a very round chin and big lips, so it's not that easy to get to. Also, in my experience the cheeks are really easy to shave once you know how to handle a razor, most people have relatively flat cheeks and most of that area is just fat and muscle, so not much stretched skin. The neck is relatively easy as well, but easy to cut up and the rule of following the grain is the most important for this area.

Also, am I the only one who gets a lot of ingrown hairs in the moustache area? I find that it's really hard not to cut myself or irritate the skin in that area, despite my cheeks and neck being way hairier than my moustache.

>>37364005
plug one nostril while blowing, you can press the other one down a little bit more for a little more pressure. im pretty sure you can just find a wikihow on it desu

>>37365394
I gave up shaving it's to much work to make me look like a fat 15 year old. just use scissors once a year and trim it down

im a grill

can other grills explain how to shave the bagina and buttbole because im scared ill cut myself

I kept getting cuts and razor burn after with a double edge meme razor. I eventually bought an electric razor and I've been using it for years. Takes less than a minute. No lather or water necessary. It's definitely not as close of a shave, but it's super easy and no fear of razor burn.

>>37365509

Very carefully. For us guys, the balls are the most mission critical area.

Around the butthole it's surprisingly sturdy, it's an area that can even handle Nair quite well, unlike the balls. So as long as you're not dragging the blade in a side-to-side cutting motion you'll be A-OK.

>>37364904
>I just changed a light bulb for the first time a few weeks ago
>luckily got it on my first try
>luckily

Did you go to a tard school or something?

>>37365709
No, I actually did and continue to do well in school.

i pretty much can't cook anything and i don't know how to properly use utencils so i avoid all gatherings where i'd be eating with people

>>37365625
Clean the anus thoroughly, spread your cheeks a bit and try to make the anus skin as taut as you can, get a good razor and just continually glide it up each individual side of the anus with a moderate amount of pressure - you shouldn't cut yourself and you'll get pretty much all the hairs off.

>>37365625
Don't listen to this guy. Never ever shave your ass or balls. We have to stand strong and tell women to deal with it. Nair on your nether regions is opening a world of nothing but pain and itching.

>>37365625
Why would you shave your ass? It's just going to grow back and be itchy as shit and the little prickly hairs are gonna stab yourself. Just as well you're opening up the opportunity for a pilonidal cyst which, let me be the first to tell you, is absolutely zero fun to have in your ass crack. It will likely never heal.

>>37363812
shave with oil dumb ass

>>37363812
>tfw can't change a tire
>tfw can't change oil in a car
>tfw can barely walk without falling over
>tfw can't build anything
>tfw can't do any "manly" things

>>37363812
YOUR FACE HAS TO BE DAMP BEFORE SHAVING YOU RETARDED FUCK, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE HAVING DRYNESS ISSUES

>>37365139
Also clean the blade in some warm water after every stroke. I know it seems obvious but if you dont the blade gets coated in hair and shaving cream and doesnt work until you clean it again

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>>37363812
>Tfw I figured out how to shave the first time I tried it, without being shown how to do it.
I don't even use shaving cream, just water, and I very rarely get any cuts because I'm very careful.
I also still use the first razor I ever got, and occasionally clean it out to keep it from being too dull.

>>37365066
If you drowned twice how are you here? huh bud?

>>37363812
>when I shave my skin gets super dry, coarse and irritated

same.

I just grew a beard.

Or when I have to shave, I use an electric trimmer with the guards off. Close enough to remove the hair, but not so close it fucks up the skin