>be me
>Back in 8th grade
>was dating a short light skinned brunette girl with red streaks in her hair.
>Used to "mess around" between class periods behind some abandoned portables, was a good morale booster.
>After school her parents are gone, I go to her house.
>She has a border collied that her family adopted that has "mental deficiencies" but i ignore it.
>Start making out.
>Was romantic as fuck.
>Smooth as fuck from all the porn I had been watching, i tossed her on the bed and wrestled with her for bit.
>Was so into the moment I wasn't even nervous knowing what was about to come up.
>Unbutton her jeans and take off her shirt and do my thing.
>After some foreplay I take out my cock.
>Tease her with it by rubbing it on her slit.
>All of a sudden I hear "WOOF!"
>I get slightly startled and over by the door way is that fucking dog.
>The girl yells at it to shut up and it slowly backs off and gets out of sight.
>Fucked up the moment and I had to restart.
>She immediately stops me, and instead climbs ontop of me.
>Her hair is draped over her tits, it's sexy as fuck.
>Half of the head goes in until.
>The fucking dog frantically jumps on bed in a autistic rage.
>I rip her off me and dart to the door way, knocking over some shit on the way out.
>I loudly slam the door shut and the i hear the fucking dog going crazy.
>I later apologize and she apologizes and says it's time for me to go.
If only I had remembered to simply close the door that day....fuck
>be me
>23 year old KHHV
>playing Project 1999, a classic-era EverQuest emulator
>hang out on the IRC channel
>start talking to this woman on there
>she's 20 and things start getting flirty
>start an LDR
>fly over to her place for a week, have sushi, go to bed
>next morning she goes to take a shower
>I join her, we start messing around
>we go back to her bed and have sex
wait did you say 'almost'
>>37325118
>I rip her off me and dart to the door way, knocking over some shit on the way out.
y tho
>>37325228
imagine this piece of shit cock blocking you two times in a row right when the magic is about to happen
The reason the dog was acting that way is because she had trained it to give her the old lickaroo
>>37325118
>>37326316
kek, thanks doggie for giving me the pleasure of browsing this board with op
>>37325170
duuude, epic win! le memes xdddd :)
>>37326587
>implying your response isn't more obnoxious than my post
ironic shitposting is still shitposting
>have gf
>try to have sex
>slide it in like an inch
>she tells me to stop because I'm "too big"
>get a blowjob instead
>>37325118
>Half of the head goes in
>slide it in like an inch
both of you aren't virgins or robots. get off this board
>>37326683
Robots would say we aren't virgins, but normies would say we are.
>>37326622
she straight up did not want you dude I would've walked out right there.