What would you do with your girlfriend if you had one? Other

Fuck first, then we can discuss that after

Stick drawings of faces on her face

>fight
>scream
>call her a bitch
>manipulate her
>plan moves I'm going to make months in advance like a chess game
>psychoanalyze her and use it to control her

I'm a toxic person and deliberately don't start relationships because of it.

breed her with my doggo

watch old movies and talk about them after

Get bored/discontent, be too concerned about never getting another gf to break it off

>>37287799
Do it anyways life more fun manipulating people.

Cuddle, talk

>>37287840
No. I need to fix my shit before I hurt somebody else.

I would probably do all the things I can't do by myself in a social setting without looking like a creep. Movies, drive-ins, amusement parks, restaurants. I have a pile of money accumulating and the only thing I want to do with it is spend quality time with qt gf, not a used up ex-Stacy. That seems too much to ask though.

Watch netflix (optionally anime).
Do stuff that I wouldn't want to do alone (go to the movies/theatre/gallery/concerts).
Read together (or rather next to each other).
Spots.
Go for walks.
Cuddle.
Just talk.

Assuming we share some hobbies, do them together.
Pick up new hobbies and learn about it together.
Do different projects around the house.
Talk about things.

That's the worst part, I have no idea. I missed the phase where you learn how to do couples shit. Even the mechanics of kissing seems awkward when I try to practice on myself.

If I had to guess I'd like to watch shows with her and go on walks.

>>37288059
A good technique for starters is to just mimic how she kisses

File: TheChef.jpg (100KB, 767x576px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 767x576px

I'm sure we would cook together every day. I love working in the kitchen, and not being able to cook or bake is the main dealbreaker for me. I'd be down for whatever she wanted to do aside from that; I'm not picky as long as we're both having fun with it.

At some point, I would probably try to get her into weird tabletop games (like Time Wizards), but don't know how successful that would be.

File: 1492132314246.png (196KB, 1080x968px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 1080x968px

>>37288059
>when I try to practice on myself

File: 1494389593997.png (57KB, 420x457px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 420x457px

violence consensually in the bed, calm down there police
dance with her, i want to learn to dance with a partner
i want to dominate her and love her, its my F A N T A S Y. i want control over her and for her to fall deeply in love with me
watch stupid meme videos with her and laugh a lot
i want to learn to be good at sex and learn how to make her orgasm. i swear females respect 2 things; power and good sex
experience drugs with her, during and outside of sex. stuff like mushrooms and mdma, for example


thats it mostly, i think. i dont really want to travel with her anywhere, but maybe if its remote and theres no people

I would sniff her a lot

Play co-op games. Don't want to play vs games unless she's hardend enough to take the loss because I'm not going to go easy on her.
Help each other whenever we need it.
Talk about whatever comes to mind.
Watch movies and anime with her.
Do running swimming or other phyysical activities with her.
Cuddle alot, switch clothes for fun and produce a game together.
Conquer the world together and then get some ice cream.

>my mind is kinda blank
>haven't thought about this in a while

>>37288090
This, but that requires the girl to be an experienced kisser.
If you somehow end up with somebody unexperienced, you're fucked.

How often can you hit your gf without her breaking up with you?

>>37288542
Never :^)

I wonder what the context was the first time someone posted this

>>37288699
I'm sure some would have a higher threshold.

>>37288121
holy moly pls be my pothead dancer bf

>>37287768
It's not really important.
Just whatever both of us find fun and fulfilling. Or atleast tolerable.

There's stuff I need to do like exercise that we don't need to share.

>>37288365
>switch clothes for fun
wat.jpg

Gardening, going on walks, visiting museum and parks, stuff like that.
Heck my biggest dream would be to have a slightly tomboyish girlfriend to build a small house together, with our own hands.

But that's nothing but a pipe dream, I have never met a girl who lent herself for those things.
And I'm a damn autist who doesn't know how social interaction works

File: starcucks.png (263KB, 1000x681px) Image search: [Google]

263KB, 1000x681px

I had been holding for a long time the idea that gf's actually were too much of a hassle, too much drama, expenses and responsibilities and that it would eventually would cause more problems than its worth as emotional tampon would be, and decided that for my own happiness it'd be more effective to try to get several FwB's and see each like once a week (basically rotate them for fucks). It sounds hard but it actually is easier to manage than a full on bf-gf relationship.

The problem with that is that due to some chain of events I found about a wonderful fetish called cuckqueaning, and now I want a girlfriend, which I initially didn't want, merely for the sole purpose of forcing her watch while I have sex with other women.

It sounds fucked up but it really isn't. Think about it.

We would write children's stories together, she would draw and I would write.

We used to lie on the floor of her room and listen to her classic rock/metal vinyls while talking about how much we hated Communists. It was nice, but I wasn't able to open up properly and actually do anything sexual with her due to insecurity and self loathing.

I wish you guys actually do this stuff when you get a gf. I had a robot bf and all he did was play vidya and ignore me.

>>37290164
That's if we can actually get someone to love us lol

>>37290164
Be my gf then
t. >>37288167

>>37290164
Of course they'd do the same, you idiot. They're just fantasizing.

In real life guys get rapidly bored of the girls unless there is sex somewhere in the deal. Not gonna change no matter how infinitely beta the guy you get is.

>>37290164
And you didn't play vidya with him or suck his dick constantly because? Did you even give a shit about him?

>>37287768
I would just sit inside with her all day. Cuddling, talking, being comfy. Endless sex, every fetish. And then cuddle some more while watching movies. Then more sex, or some games and sex. We'd go out and ignore everyone else but eachother. Nobody else in our lives but our partner.

>>37290374
And that's how you burn out a relationship.

File: 10a.jpg (118KB, 445x629px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 445x629px

>>37289415
Clearly the smartest of anons out there.

>>37290395
And that's why you find a girl who wouldn't ever leave you. Someone so desperate and mentally fucked up she is in love with you only because you pay attention to her. Someone who has no one else nor wants anybody else in their life.

Normie relations are so boring.

>>37290345
Excuse you. I even jerked him off while he was playing in his computer chair, he came but then went back to his game. I always put in effort but he was ungrateful.

>>37287768

Doing things that are fun to me.

>>37290459
So why were you with him? He sounds like an ungrateful chad, not a desperate robot who would love to be with a girl.

t. desperate robot who would love to be with a girl.

>>37290480
Small moments where he paid attention to me made me think he loved me and made me so happy so I was stuck in the cycle of trying to please him and waiting for those moments :/

>>37290526
When did you meet him? IRL or from r9k? Because you know robots aren't found in real life. You found a failed normie congrats. Now you are used goods, while the real robots still desperately search for a gf to love.

t. real robot still desperately searching for a gf to love.

>>37290587
That's where I went wrong :(

File: 688.jpg (61KB, 500x345px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 500x345px

>>37290608
I'm sure you're a great and kind girl. But you fucked up. You could've prevented this. One less girl to be my gf I guess :(

File: 20170227_090113-2.jpg (766KB, 1022x1490px) Image search: [Google]

766KB, 1022x1490px

>>37288059
One time when I was kissing my (now ex) gf she scoffed and when I continued kissing her she just turned her head away. I was really self conscious about it at the time. We never used tongues when we kissed either. She came out as lesbian the other day so I don't feel so bad anymore. Pic related: ex gf

>>37290608
A robot wouldn't have been better, I tell you. Just look at how he replied that guy to you. They're the trash of the male gender yet they have insanely unrealistic standards.

Find yourself a Chad, even if you're his 3rd side chick and forget about losers.

>>37290672
>She came out as lesbian the other day
geee I wonder why

>>37288108
My ex gf and I played a few sessions of D&D, which was probably the most fun thing we did together, but our DMs kept flaking out due to busy schedules

>>37288468
But at least no one can point fingers then. Isn't that the goal?

>>37288542
Depends on your cultural context

Smoke weed together, talk. Play games together.

>>37287768

Simple. Play video games, watch movies and shows, go out to eat, cuddle, talk, and exercise together.

But I've never had a gf so I don't know what's normal or weird. I feel like women expect men to not play video games.

Depends on what else is she good at.
Does she seem loyal enough to even bother considering much but fucking and fun?
Smart and willing enough to learn?
Does it pay to teach her stuff I can do?
Does she have any totally different skills from me?
Can she teach something to me?

>>37288121
thats gay as fuck desu fammmy

>>37290809
I don't know anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp-jZyzQSms

>>37288121
desu this is the most wholesome thing I've ever read on this board.

>>37290449
This guy gets it y'all gotta find a yandere that's just as clingy as you are.

>>37291880
Only problem is finding one. Where the fuck are they.

>>37290608
I'd totally still date you please be my girlfriend you sound like you would actually be really committed to the relationship which is rare.

>>37291934
>wanting used goods
You wanna slurp her exes cum off her hands and cunt?

>>37291949
>anything other then a virgin is trash
This line of thinking is why most people here are still alone.

>>37290164
Because often we rather do what seems lethargically 'safe' with gf, instead of pissing them off enough to lose pussy access.
You girls made so damn sure its in short supply, we often rather take that slow tickling out of your interest in us.

And face it, most girls interests includes hanging around with more people one way or the other, and that part is just shit for most robots.

Sexually harass her and grope her while she is trying to do everyday tasks.

i don't really know, i just know that if i ever have a gf (which i doubt) i would like to be able to fully express my love for her, not only by words, but also by actions.
For as long as i can remember, my fantasies about having a gf are always shit like
>nursing her when she's sick
>helping her when she has a problem
>cooking or baking her favorite things and then watch her face while she eats them
>in general just spending time together

and if i'm madly in love with her
>our wedding
>having kids
>getting old together

So i think that i would just try my best to make her happy.