Femanons, tell us about your beta orbiters!

>>37287327
only have one. he knows full well I have a boyfriend (a """chad""" if you must) but he still thinks he has a shot with me.

>>37287532
Kek, does he ever try to do anything to impress you?

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>>37287327
Not a femanon, but I have a female orbiter.

>>37288078
Tell us about her anon. Why is she orbiting you?

I have this one guy at uni with an awful beard and glasses who keeps talking to me. I made the mistake of mentioning I like anime; now he's all over me and messaging me on facebook trying to talk about anime.

He's not ugly but skinny, unshaven and slightly shorter than me. He also has virtually no friends and is incredibly boring.

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>trans gf plays guilty gear
>doesnt tell anyone shes trans
>gets actual dozens of thirsty beta weebs after her online

>>37287327
question to femanons that have had boyfriends while having orbiters
did you ever try to get rid of them when you were in the relationship? if no why not?

did your boyfriend know you had them?

if he did how did he feel?

did you ever mess with them?

>>37288078
I also share this feel of a female orbiter... I tried to orbit her and it turned around once we met face to face

>>37288165
>slightly shorter than me
Manlets, when will they learn?

>>37288182
>did you ever try to get rid of them when you were in the relationship? if no why not?
no, I liked the attention, besides it was harmless I was never going to give him the time of day.
>did your boyfriend know you had them?
yes
>if he did how did he feel?
like fucking with the poor faggot
>did you ever mess with them?
ya me and my boyfriend sent him pics of us together to crush his hopes.

>>37287327
Not beta. More alpha than my actual boyfriend. Muscular as fuck, hot as fuck. Shares all of my interests. Funny.

Its nice having him around because he definitely tests my self control. So far I'm doing peachy.

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>>37288403
*teleports behind you*
End of the line you filthy roastie

>>37289141
How many jars of mayonnaise did Boogie have to absorb to reach his perfect form?

I have one black female orbiter but she is still in high school though

>>37289282
Are you waiting for her to graduate so you can get BLACKED?

>>37288129
Because I act like a dick to her. She loves it, buys me subway sandwiches, and tries to emulate my way of talking.

>>37288403
I want you to describe your bf and Chad orbiter. Like compare them and why you are with the bf and not Chad.

>>37289659
Boyfriend:
>Short
>Video game nerd
>High IQ
Orbiter
>Tall
>Muscular
>High IQ

I'm with my boyfriend because I love him.

>>37289712
Ever consider trying to get and keep both?

>>37289739
Cant say I haven't thought about what it would be like. I wouldn't do that though. I don't need double love. My boyfriend is enough for me.

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There aren't any. My university has qt grills for every niche fetish and an abundance of stacys, so no one bats an eye at me. Which works for me perfectly. I get to stay in the library to study or write fan fiction without anyone staring or trying to talk to me.

A middle aged Mexican guy always comes into the gas station I work at and mercilessly hits on me. One time he came in absolutely trashed 5 minutes before close to go use the restroom and when he came out he kept repeating "you are so beautiful" in his gross Mexican accent. When I finally got him to leave I went into the restroom to see that he peed literally everywhere except for the toilet.

>>37289792
I want to penis you. Please show me your body and or face.

>>37289760
This is one reason I don't date. I'm not unattractive but I'd hate to be with someone who wants someone else. Even if only sexually.

I only have one serious beta orbiter and he's from work.

Sometimes on the weekends when no management is there he clocks in as me instead of himself and gets me 4 or 5 hours extra.

Too old and ugly. I wish i could make someone buy me shit though

>>37289857
Its not easy to be attracted to only one person. You have to be dating for years to start feeling like that. My best friend says she doesn't find other guys attractive anymore, unless they look pretty much exactly like her boyfriend. Even then she says she doesn't even think they're "hot" or whatever.

Never had. Guys around me have mostly bullied me for being ugly and strange.(even ugly dudes wanting to fit in)
If I'd felt for one minute that a guy Was interested in me romantically I'd have been fucking overjoyed. I've never been shallow and thats how i ended up with an overweight 4/10 robot. I think i love him though at one time i could have classed him as beta orbiter with his constant messaging and offering to help me.. but thats kindness. I was always too scared to meet him but im glad i did.

I tried to get rid of him by being a cunt. It didnt work :( Help meee

>>37288165
>is incredibly boring.

Yeah, bet you are SO much more interesting. Fucking roastie

>>37288165
what does "boring" mean?

I play an MMO just to accumulate orbiters. I've had a steady stream for about two years, but only one at a time. I'll voice chat with anyone but if they wanna see what I look like they have to work for it.

They all get bored and move on eventually. Good for them.

>>37289923
Your friend is just virtue signaling, it's bullshit

>>37288129
>Tell us about her anon. Why is she orbiting you?

Not that anon, but I have one too. She orbits me because I'm actually attractive and she thinks she has a chance (she doesn't)

>>37289573
Kek this happens to me every where I go

lol I have none because whenever one tries to give me the princess treatment I shut them down due to me hating everyone

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>>37289814
>i want to penis you
i kek'd

Can I get a desperate clingy obsessive gf here please ;-;

>>37291413
Boring means not having any interests, hobbies, or life goals. Not being funny, not being able to hold a an interesting conversation, not doing new and adventurous things everyday while meeting new people.

if you do not hold atleast 75% of these qualities you are boring

>>37293369
Oh and anime and vidya do not count as interests and hobbies

>>37293369
/biz/
/sci/
/fit/
/po/

That's really how you do it. You just list off 4chan boards until you sound like you don't frequent 4chan. Also I would like to know what new and adventurous things you have done this past week.

>>37293395
Actually yes they do count

>>37293769
No they do not. no female wants to hear about any of those interests. any you meet online that do are larping trannys

>>37293805
Well they might not be attractive, but yeah, they exist. I know a friend's girlfriend who's can hold a conversation about video games. I know a friend who has an anime backpack.

>>37293942
>anime backpack
Why do you hang out with 12 year olds?

>>37290053
This...

Girls expect all men to be super interesting, they are the most boring shit in the universe

>>37287327
None. I don't go outside except for work.

>>37289712
you will cuck your boyfriend soon, I guarantee it.

>>37289798
I want him. You don't deserve him. He belongs with me. Where do you live. I'm going to that gas station and taking that sexy mexican man from you.

>>37293991
We're in the same major. I don't make attempts to avoid her over whatever. Who cares what you wear to class as long as it covers enough skin?

>>37290038
You describe him as an "overweight 4/10 robot"? fuck you cunt.

>>37290053
>falling for obvious b8
newfag

>>37289923
>You have to be dating for years to start feeling like that
Not necessarily. It's only happened to me once but when you meet the right person they can very quickly outshine all others.

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>friends with guy since high school
>he's a massive robot edgelord, but he's funny and I suspect the edginess is an act, so I like him anyway
>admitted to liking me in high school
>always compliments my appearance

He's actually pretty cute, but his edginess is incredibly grating. He's also friends with a lot of genuinely creepy, violent, pathological types. Think of the sort of person who would've blackmailed A///man///da T///od//d. I have a lot of apprehensions opening up to him and acting more like a friend because I'm terrified he'll mention anything about me to his scary friends.


My other orbiter lasted about a week. He found out I was a virgin when I got drunk at a bar with some mutual (female) classmates. He also responded like he recognized the name when a friend made a joke about Gianna Michaels, and I'm pretty chesty. He followed me around a lot, offered to do my homework, turned red whenever I said anything to him, etc.

>i tried explaining to him that offering to do my homework was pretty insulting
>he got mad
>"You're sort of implying I can't do it."
>i had a 3.46 cGPA and he was pulling 60s
>"Oh my god, I was just offering help."
>"Well, no, you offered to do the whole thing for me. Do you not see how that a little extreme?"
>"Why are you being such a bitch."

So because I wouldn't let him do my lab assignments for me for free, I'm a huge bitch and now he glares at me everytime we have a class together.

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>have a TA
>email him about a question related to the course content
>he emails back, asking if I could come to his office
>go to office hours
>answers my questions
>it really didn't require me busing downtown, I'm a tad irritated
>thank him, get ready to leave
>he asks me if I could go for drinks
>tell him I appreciate the offer, but I feel it's inappropriate considering he's marking my work
>he asks about after the course
>say I don't know him, I stayed after class to discuss homework with him once
>"I would only want to go out for drinks with friends, people I know."
>"Well, let's be friends!"
>dude I know your endgame so it sort of nullifies being friends with me
>say I don't feel that's a good idea
>he starts being melodramatic, on the verge of tears, begging me
>"I'm so sorry. I know I'm disgusting and horrible and selfish and I was putting you in such a compromising position. I'm so sorry."
>should have been a red flag
>but I was naive, felt sorry for him
>"I'm not mad. I just don't feel like going for drinks. Feel free to talk to me whenever, we can be friends around the department."
>"No, no, I wouldn't do that to you."
>"No, really, we can get along. Thank you for your help."
>he gets my phone number from my resume which I attached to an email I sent his supervisor
>texts me constantly, asking me out
>every couple of months he asks how I am
>I find out that he forged pornographic figures of another girl who since graduated, told everyone at this conference that he fucked her ass to mouth
>i always worry that he would do that to me, so whenever he messages me I always find myself snooping /b/ for altered pictures of myself

Having orbiters is not fucking fun.

>>37293095
>>FB_IMG
>originally

>>37288403

Lmao. In4 relationship drama.

>>37289792

Which university please

>>37289865

Wow. We need to kill the betas and the Chads. What is this nonsense

>>37290042

Tell us about him. Thanks

I don't really have any orbiters but I'm sorta orbiting another fembot a little but she ghosted me.

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>this entire thread

You guys are ridiculous.

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>>37295484
Are we not allowed to say A m a n d a T o d d ?
RIP

>>37295484

You are a bitch. He offers to do your homework and you know that he's just trying to be nice so you'll like him, yet you take it as a personal insult. This guy sounds very inexperienced with girls (who the fuck offers to do girls' homework), but he's right about you being a bitch.

Also be careful of the edge lord. Even if he's okay it may be dangerous to deal with his friends.

>>37293805
News flash: male interests are vidya, sports, gym, barbecue, fighting cartoons, and porn.

Women don't want to hear about any of that shit.

What do you mean by (((interests)))

>>37295795
That's not even an orbiter he's just creepy as fuck and an asshole. You made it clear you intentions to not go out and you weren't even friends or hung out which are important requirements of "orbiters".

>>37295795

That's creepy as fuck. Maybe report him?

>>37297094
They want to hear about the newest celebrity news, talk about friends behind their back, chads, fashion/make-up, what you have planned for them activity wise for the day and about how they're oppressed obviously.

one of my orbiters got arrested for some type of prostitution sting off craigslist (potentially involving a minor)

i was his "one call" from jail and i told him that i was busy, then i stopped taking his calls.

he got fired from his comfy job at MSNBC, last i heard her works as a promoter for a club, like not a hot guy that that tried to get people to come in the club or someone that books I the entertainment, but the guy that has to deal with scheduling and making sure the DJs are happy with their dressing rooms

can't imagine what it was like for his emotional support call to practically hang a up on him after staying up all night in a jail cell

>>37297646
coincidentally i met him on Craiglist, met a lot of men on there

used to troll it when i was a teen (before 4chan and Reddit it was a pretty good waste of time)

had some guy drop off an unopened bottle of Blanton's (~$80) on my door step when i was 18, never saw him in person/on the phone/sent photos/nothing.

turns out he was p high up in Java script devilment or something, literally a millionaire

>>37297646
Just trying to get some pussy not even from you and goes to jail. You hang up on him as his one phone call.

Damn, that's pretty cold there. Women were a mistake.

>>37297709
you'd remain friends with a pedofile?

No one will orbit a schizo because they get creeped out if I start talking about my apartment being bugged or holding a conversation with no one. They think I'm gonna kill them.

>>37298095
Tumblr is thataway >>>>>>>>

>>37298095
I'd orbit you

>>37296799
No we're not. It got marked as spam.

>>37296982
>bitch
>for politely telling someone no, and explaining why I felt it was rude without attacking him personally

Quick question: What should I have done? Because if I let him do my work, /r9k/ would call me a whore exploiting a poor nice guy. I didn't do that, and apparently I'm still a bitch.

>and yes, men fucking assuming that a woman needs their academic help despite her myriad of accomplishments is sexism
>I know this is /r9k/ so it's fruitless to debate this, but pointing it out.

>inexperienced with girls
He's actually had more romantic partners than me.

>dangerous to deal with his friends
Yeah, his friend started sending all the girls in our graduating class videos of volcanoes, insects and dead animals with like, three views on youtube. Another had a psychotic episode and was institutionalized after he Skype'd some girl he had a crush on threatening to slit his throat if she didn't stay up with him.

>>37297583
Sorry, I just thought it meant someone who "orbited" you, like a moon. I should lurk moar.

>>37297610
I wish. What would I even say? "He texts me periodically, through him out of school." The only real violation was the phone number thing, and that's easily deniable. I can't hold him accountable for hearsay over what he did to another girl.

i have a youtube channel where i only post shit once every few tears but still got like 100k on the videos i posted around christmass

fucking losers

>>37295484
>not even reading all that roastie rambling

>>37299348
what do you even post?
>>37299875
>but he responds

sounds like you read it, and got mad because it hit close to home.

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>>37287327
Not a grill, but does it count as orbiting if I never actually talk to her but just sit behind her during our lecture? We both always sit in the same seats, and its during summer semester so lecture hall is less than a quarter full, so I don't think she finds this weird or she probably would have moved, but I just want to know if this is technically orbiting? I'm hoping to eventually build up the courage to ask her to study with me but I doubt I'll ever be able to do that.

I think its also worth mentioning I've had fantasies in my head of me marrying and impregnating her with beautiful white children not necessarily in that order either, even though the only interactions we've had was one time when she held the door for me and when I accidentally looked at her for a bit too long right before the midterm started. Also she looks kind of lonerish and very studious which is kind of what has caused my crush.

Do I have any kind of chance with her and if so how should I go about it?

>>37300860
No that counts as creeping.

>>37300982
I don't stalk her though I just sit behind her during math lecture, which she clearly doesnt mind since she continues to sit in the same seat every class.

>>37297698
>turns out he was p high up in Java script devilment or something, literally a millionaire
Could've had a sugar daddy, kek. How many orbiters do you have now, anon?

>>37295484
That other orbiter seems like a huge faggot

>>37299348
If your video is that popular there shouldn't be any harm in posting it here, right?

>>37289857
I don't think there's any reasonable expectation that you stop thinking people are attractive. But what you're describing is a bit beyond that. An alcoholic who starts buying bottles of scotch to keep around the house because she says it's a great test of self control seems like someone who is on the precipice. Her explanation doesn't inspire confidence.

>Quick question: What should I have done?

you should leave the board since obviously no one wants you here. you being here is like the guy being there for you.

>>37288176
>trans gf

that's a lie, trans girls can't get cute bfs

>>37288182
I'm sort of in that situation now.

>did you ever try to get rid of them when you were in the relationship? if no why not?
No. I like him very much and we work together.

>did your boyfriend know you had them?
Nope.

>if he did how did he feel?
I'm not sure, but he's pretty chill about all my male friends, including those who have at some point been more than friends. He understands. It could be different with this one, but I don't see why.

>did you ever mess with them?
Yes. The whole situation is my fault. I flirted with him shamelessly for months and then groped and cuddled him while drunk (I had only just met bf at the time and we weren't exclusive yet).

He's a giant stereotypical nerd and used to be so shy he appeared almost asocial. I thought he was barely able to stand me, mostly being polite while gritting his teeth, and occasionally genuinely amused if I said or did something funny. I was doing it as a kind of joke, to draw him out of his shell and to involve him in the social scene at our workplace. (And also because I do actually want to fuck him.) But apparently he was never that annoyed by the rest of us, and it actually worked. So that part's nice at least.

>>37299302
>Yeah, his friend started sending all the girls in our graduating class videos of volcanoes, insects and dead animals with like, three views on youtube. Another had a psychotic episode and was institutionalized after he Skype'd some girl he had a crush on threatening to slit his throat if she didn't stay up with him.

At first I thought you were being melodramatic about his friends but this is something else.

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>>37302163
>melodramatic
I can see why you'd think that, but these dudes were something else.

>video dude
>he'd make a Normiebook account for a couple of weeks, send people creepy messages, and then delete it
>in high school, his profile was a closeup of a camel spider's face
>friend posts a status asking friends to comment their MBTI
>it's really cute and innocent - just a bunch of teenagers posting MBTI and arguing which cartoon characters they are
>I get INFP
>he PMs me
>"Let me guess, you fancy yourself some sort of deep intellectual. A poor artistic soul."
>"What."
>he starts detailing every little thing I ever said in class, calling me pretentious
>starts commenting on how in English class I said that I loved Catcher in the Rye
>"You see yourself in Holden, don't you? Because like all so-called INFPs, he fancies himself an intellectual, but both are you are just maladapted to living in functional society."

Fuck it, these dudes were bonkers. I wanna greentext some more about them.

>>37291413
she said it in the post, he's short

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>>37302365
>same dude
>four years out of high school
>adds most of our graduating class into this massive Facebook group
>starts sending in stuff from Cicada 3301, binary code, html that looked copied from another website, and excerpts from Peter Sotos' Tool.
>he's obviously trying to scare people into thinking he's super cool and edgy because it's been nearly half a decade and no one gives a shit

>>37299348
haha rose larper

>no femanons have been 4chan passes by their orbiters

Feels good man.

>>37302610
We're back, bitches.

>>37302466
Wow, this thread is still up.

> same dude
> meets my friend in his engineering classes
> she's a cute asian chick so obviously he has a thing for her
> sends her the same weird videos he sent the group chat, pictures of his meds, etc.
> she humours him

this friend is dating my cousin; that's how I met her.

> he finds out my cousin is dating this girl through Normiebook
> finds my cousin's online gaming account
I think it was his Steam ID? I know nothing about vidya so mea culpa on these details.
> joins my cousin's game
>says that he knows his GF from school
>cousin doesn't care
> dude keeps trying to troll my cousin by asking if his GF loves BBC.
> cousin says, " yes. I am a huge cuck. I love taking my GF's son for ice cream."
> he's flabbergasted
> changes topic to HS
> starts talking shit about my art class friends
> cousin asks what his fucking problem is
> starts talking shit about me, that I'm pretentious and my cousin should ask me about him
> doesn't know my cousins my cousin
> cousin says I'm a great person
>dude ends the chat, calls cousin a faggot and logs off.


> he drops out of uni
> still messages my friend
She's marrying my cousin.

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>>37289865
fuuuck off he does

>>37303752
Are you mad, betacuck?

>>37301785
Wow, look at this tough guy on the internet

>>37287327
I've never had one. What's more to say? God this board is a steaming pile. Every other thread is a """""fembot""""" or a summerfag asking for advice.

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>>37289573

Free subs for days. I'm jealous.

>>37289865
How much of a cuck can he get? Shit

had a female orbiter in high school. she was a pretty driven and energetic person and probably liked me because I was "the smartest guy in the class" (really isn't saying much, given how low the standards were).
anyhow, I wasn't desperate enough (oh those were the days...) and decided that her high-strung personality wouldn't sit well with me. That sure as fuck didn't stop me from letting her take me out to eat every once in a while (i mean, free food, right?). Also, since she was a student council president, I got the VP position (nepotism yay).
Anyhow, around about the end of high school, there was a bit of a scandal in our class and we ended up on opposite sides. it ended in a shouting match and she's hated me ever since.
though I really didn't like her, sometimes I do regret my decision. at least I wouldn't be a khv right now.

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>>37287327
tfw you make more than a doctor doing literally nothing.

tfw you improve your orbiters life

>>37304988
let me orbit you desu

>>37288403
It's good to have some back-up dick on preorder for when you get bored with your current ATM, I agree

>>37304988
>tfw you make more than a doctor doing literally nothing.
Kek, yeah right.

>>37304988
fuck off chara
or just stop using a trip

>>37304988
>Improve orbiters lives
Don't lie.

>>37304988
>>37305028
>>37304877

>tfw your board's user base has devolved into a bunch of roastie worshiping cucks that erp on a Manchurian Duck Fishing Chatroom

>tfw 85% of "fembots" are actually just text and aren't even real women, just men pretending

>tfw /soc/ and other board's garbage people manage to spill into here because it's as free as /b/, but not as shitty

>I've witnessed this place slowly transforming from a hugbox for autists and outcasts into /b/+/soc/ electric boogallo over the past five or six years

>all of these cringe posts of people saying "le fembot here, I'm a girl and I'm not like the other grills xD"

>fucking fembot threads and other garbage threads everyday

w e w l a d

>>37305225
Dude, shut the fuck up you fucking loser

>>37294325
Why are you so triggered. Thats what he is regardless. Obviously i find him adorable. Thats what it is to like someone. You all talk about "settling" as if its something you would actually do. Kek. You barely see females as people. Just things you want.
And you get mad at me for what? Not being with a hot guy?

>>37306011
You're obviously just using him for something else.

>>37306242
Not really no. The usual give and take of a relationship. We're very happy. You dont gave to convince yourself theres some ulterior motive here just because it's so utterly out with the realn of possibility that two below average people like each other

>>37305260

Are you my fucking dad or something, you fat Korean nigger?

>>37306711
It's possible I got drunk and impregnated some chick, so yes

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>>37287327
I don't know what details an orbiter but I've this one fellow that keeps messaging me a lot, does this count? Either way, he's just a friend to me.

>>37307085

Why must you enable these guys and occasional girls with your posts? I remember when this board wasn't so cancerous. Why can't they go to /soc/?

there must be a girl out there that would let me orbit her.

>>37307163
Stop posting this fucking nigger, roastie

>>37307163
>keeps messaging me a lot,

Can't you just service him? You're the reason there's so much pain in the world - stop being selfish and step up.

>>37307190
I've already declined my use. So rude for no reason. It's not like I'm doing anything to you. I'd totally post more since you love it but like I said, I've to diminish that.

i dont get why the few times ive had orbiters, they always either talk to me like im a little kid, or insists on me cuddling up inside their fat rolls as they are "the most cuddly".

>>37307335
>talk to me like im a little kid
Is it your height?

>>37287785
Why don't you just admit your her orbiter directly? If you want to know were you fucked up just ask.

>>37307418
I've been asking people questions throughout this entire thread, like I usually do. You're retarded.

>>37307380
its mostly online orbiters, so they dont really know how tall i am.
regardless, im taller than average

>>37307201
Service him how? I'm awfully confused. And how do you mean I'm selfish and causing a lot of pain in the world?

>>37307579
Well you're not blowing me right now so....

>>37307447
You're fishing for answers. You are an orbiter. You want to validate your own actions. Instead of approaching the subject directly you are avoiding it. Ultimately you are making the same mistake you did when becoming an orbiter.

That's why you're here.

duh

>>37307754
You may like me but that doesn't mean I like you, stranger. Humph.

>>37307579
Relieve him.

>>37307796
So just say I view him as a friend? I don't think I've ever lead anyone on really. So this is very new to me.

>>37307816
No ffs.
Service him sexually - by hand or mouth. Just relieve his tension.

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I guess we can all look on the bright side.

Most of these femanons say their orbiters aren't bad people, or even bad looking (at least most of them). They just have bf's, or don't want to date them because they are boring.
So at least they aren't completely irredeemable. If most of them freshened themselves up, and got better hobbies. They could all be normie tier in no time.