Psychological Issues #69

>>37239171
I knew there was a reason I was on /r9k/ this early, whats goinn on?

>>37239608
>I knew there was a reason I was on /r9k/ this early, whats goinn on?

It's Wednesday, afternoons are off to students and teachers in my country. The great weekend begins now.

I'm leaving tonight so I thought I'd start things early.

How are you?

>>37239621
I'm getting worse. Feel the worst of my depression creeping back up on me. Another week or two and I'll be about where I was when we met.

>>37239640

Do you still do your ninja stuff?

Do you work out?

Little things go a long way. You need to put stuff in place, even if it sounds like it won't help.

>>37239675
Yes and yes. Don't know if this is typical for depression, or if theres even a "typical" case; best I can describe it is like a tide coming in. I know its coming, but can't stop it.

>>37239737

Go out with friends.

Have you ever tried dating websites?

>>37239753
Don't have any friends to hang out with till Tuesday. And no, I don't even have a facebook, which seems a prereq nowadays for the "free" ones. And can't afford a paid one, cant even keep a Live membership up.

>>37239779

Facebook isn't a dating website. There are plenty of free ones that are specifically for dating, why don't you try one?

How about:

- eHarmony
- eDarling
- Plenty of Fish
- OK Cupid

And a bunch of others in existence. There are shitloads and they're all free for all I know.

Hey guys, strange to see you here this early

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>>37239859

Guys, you don't have to wait for me, you know? Just use pic related and open it whenever you want.

>>37239830
Admittedly last time I checked was years ago, not surprised everyone moving to free formats. But I just can't. I was never one for casual hookups and am too terrified to try a relationship again. I know one girl at new work (job 2, not internship) who might have something for me based on signs I'd missed on my own before, but I'm too fucking terrified of being hurt again to even talk to her for more than absolutly necessary for work.

>>37239859
Morning Atlas, what's going on?

>>37239912
>I was never one for casual hookups

Uh? None of the websites I've listed are normally used for hookups if that's not what you want. Long term relationships, as I understand, are easier to find there than on Tinder for instance.

Nobody's talking about relationships right away either, just dating. You can date without taking risks, just go out and enjoy a meal with someone and speak. Doing that will help on its own, without having to go further.

You're not going to remain single forever, are you?

>>37239932
Everything is shitty as always.

I have 5 days to study left, on 30. Ill be at school the whole day and be tested. At the end of the day Ill probably finally know If I wasted the last 4 years of middle school (or high school in US i think) for something or not.

So, as one would expect, Im really, really nervous.
Worst thing is that my stress and sadness and everything make it damn hard to actually concentrate on the studying.
I mostly just try to calm myslef by smoking and playing vidya from time to time

>>37240021
I don't think you understand. I can't even TALK to someone I kinda like because I'm that fucking terrified I'll develop feelings that'll just be used against me in the worst way possible. Again. I physically can't.

>>37240074

Then don't be used. Aren't you under the impression you can never fall in love again?

That would have been my guess.

If I was right, then there's nothing to fear. No woman has any power on you until you fall in love, and by now, you know the signs.

Moreover, I'm here and can advise you.

Separate your future encounters with women from your past. It can't be the same again. Besides, you went for women who hit on you the way sluts do.

>>37240064
I wish you luck Atlas, school sucks. Best way I've found to calm down is guided meditation.

>>37240112
Thanks.
I really need to find myself a way to calm down too.
cant really always count on smoking everything I see

>>37240105
>Then don't be used.
Woman who'd never cheated before (far as the ENTIRE TOWN knew, and everyone knows everyone else's relationships) cheated on me.
>Aren't you under the impression you can never fall in love again?
I want to. Badly. I want nothing more out of life than a loyal wife and kids that are mine. Which'll never happen
>If I was right, then there's nothing to fear. No woman has any power on you until you fall in love, and by now, you know the signs.
The only signs I know signal that she's interested in me, and later that shr's cheating on me, and by then its too fucking late isn't it?
>t can't be the same again.
That's what I thought last time.

Hey everyone.

I meet with my pychiatrist today to try to start working on my social anxiety issues

Super nervous about going to therapy again

Fuck, why is life like this

Heya everyone. Just came back from a bit of shopping, but my god it's hot outside.

>>37240620
Therapy will help you pal, keep doing it!

>>37240620
>social anxiety
>TALKING to therapist
You're making progress simply by going and talking.
>>37240627
Hey Frenchy. Its rather cold here today, lucky you.

>>37240246
>The only signs I know signal that she's interested in me,

If a woman jumps up and down on your dick as a signal to tell you she's interested, you should consider this a warning.

We should look into this stuff more some time.

>>37240673
Sweating by just walking isn't really great though. I hate summer.

>>37240620

I love therapy. I get red fruit tea every time now. I'm never stressed out about it.

>>37240680
That's only happened when subtlty fails against my social retardism for months. But I'm now able to talk now more freely, in between shifts. Have 2 hours until next one starts.

>>37240673
Thanks bro.

I decided I was done spending all my time isolated, playing video games in my house and being lonely

Still, now that I actually have to go do the thing I'm dreading it's a lot worse than planning it.

>>37240687
I've had bad experiences with therapists In the past so that causes some of it

I hope this one will be different

>>37240682
Only part I hate about summer is the goddamn bugs fucking everywhere.
>>37240753
If you keep at it you'll definitly see improvement.
>>37240210
Meditation works. Relaxes you and trivializes worries.

new tripfags for the block list. thanks assholes!

Nick, I just wanted to say thanks for making these threads a thing

Helps a lot of people

>>37240848
You're welcome. How's this for original?

>>37240753
Yet you're making progress now, being out of your comfort zone.

I guess it'll become your new comfort zone in no time, once you get a bit more used to it

>>37240774
And even if he isn't, you still can find another!

>>37240789
The heat, the summer people, people on holidays, the head, and the heat, and especially the fucking heat

The only thing I like is the evening. Compfy as fuck.

>>37240854
Nick's good people, no matter what he says about his past mistakes.

>>37240774
>I've had bad experiences with therapists

Describe.

>>37240848

You're welcome, pisshead.

>>37240854

Very welcome, Aaron.

>>37240897
Evenings are comfy. Used to enjoy sunsets as well, now they just make me sad.

>>37240959
Then switch to sunrises

In summer I usually live during the night, and see it rise most of the time. It's somewhat depressing, as I have to go to sleep and the heat is coming.

>>37240959

Just find someone new, Hero.

Discuss any red flags on your previous ladies. How they made it known to you that they were interested, start with that.

I'm watching Hollywood crap for keks, but I have to get ready soon. Jacuzzi sex orgy about to happen. Kidding. (I'll be the only male, though, for all I know.)

>>37240982
Prepare yourself for your incoming prostate exam

>>37239171
Hey everyone. I'm new here. How can I stop being paranoid about everyone/everything? I always feel like someone is stalking me, watching me, and plotting to kill me or betray me. I don't know what to do about it. I end up avoiding people and pushing them away. What do?

>>37241048
Do you have a therapist? If not, seek medical attention

>>37239737
What ninja stuff do you do?

>>37241048

Try focusing on why people would do this, what they have to gain, what they have to lose. In most cases, if not all, you should realise there's nothing to gain and a whole lot to lose.

Arguing against yourself with logic might help.

I probably should have started with this. Hey everyone.

>>37240627
Hey Frenchy, how are you?

>>37241159
Rather fine, thanks to the thread. The "down" period stopped yesterday night, and it's nice to be able to function normally.

What about you pal?

>>37241069
No, I'm too poor. I know this a sign of some mental disorder but It's hard to tell which. I don't hear voices so not schizophrenic.
>>37241108
I have this preconceived notion that I'm too weird to fit in so everyone wants to hurt me. I do argue with myself but it comes back after a while. Does anyone else here experience this?

>>37241190
Do you have a low self-esteem?

Besides, when you can, go check a therapist. They're made for that stuff.

>>37240981
I see the sunrise 3 days a week for work, it lost its luster a year ago.
>>37240982
>find someone new
I'd love to. But I can't. Can't overcome crippling fear of being hurt again.
>Discuss any red flags on your previous ladies. How they made it known to you that they were interested, start with that.
I'll go over most recent one, freshest in my mind. other ended 5 years ago so details fuzzy. Went from furtive glances when she thought I wasn't looking, laughing at my unfunny jokes, to unnecessary touching and gave me her phone number and texting me until 1-2 in the morning. Then escalated into taking my things to get me to chase her and trying to tickle me because I'd do it back to her. I'm complety not-ticklish, and she'd "forget" that about every week or so. Then later ended with her sitting/laying in my lap while I was hanging out with her brother.
>>37241092
This is referencing that I do martial arts, In TKD, Tai Juitsu, and Tai Chi currently.

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>>37241226
Can you teleport behind us?

>>37241190
>I have this preconceived notion that I'm too weird to fit in so everyone wants to hurt me. I do argue with myself but it comes back after a while. Does anyone else here experience this?

Yes, it's common, and a self-fufilling prophecy, which you may use to sabotage yourself.

Argue against yourself. You're not too weird to fit in, and you aren't the only one like yourself. Relax, think a lot, argue against your own limiting notions.

>>37241186
I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

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>>37241248
But why would I teleport around you?

>>37241226
>Can't overcome crippling fear of being hurt again.

Dating new people doesn't have to involve getting hurt: you don't have to get involved beyond the dating, Hero.

>>37241226
>Went from furtive glances when she thought I wasn't looking,

Doubt it. If you made eye contact, she probably wanted eye contact.

>Then escalated into taking my things to get me to chase her and trying to tickle me because I'd do it back to her.

Don't date women under 13, Hero, really.

>>37241219
Yes I do. What does that have to do with it?
>>37241255
I'll keep trying harder

>>37241226
That's pretty cool man. How proficient are you in the different arts?

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>>37241271
The ninja's way is not understandable for mere mortals

>>37241299
Because one that isn't comfortable in public places must have something that he doesn't like about himself. Be its body, or just a sense of not belonging.

When you hear people laugh, you instinctively think they're laughing at you, right?

Hey, just saying hi
Bf and I talked about everything, laid it all out, basically came to the conclusion that he doesn't want to just be extra stress in my life, and he's willing to put effort into making things work

>>37241293
>Dating new people doesn't have to involve getting hurt: you don't have to get involved beyond the dating, Hero.
I've never done that. I don't date people I wouldn't want to be with (or so I think)
>Doubt it. If you made eye contact, she probably wanted eye contact
Was doing the whole 'intensive staring' thing until I'd catch her looking then she'd quick look away.
>Don't date women under 13, Hero, really
Kek. She was 17 and I was 21 when we started dating. She was a sweet, kinda sheltered girl who didn't have a whole lotta friends growing up and we could really empathize with each other over that.
>>37241304
Not very, started September.

>>37241381
That's some great news, isn't it?

>>37241340
>you instinctively think they're laughing at you, right?
Absolutely. Every time. I panic and avoid them. But I feel like many times it's logical. They look at me or start laughing once I pass by them. I've been laughed at before, so I don't see why it wouldn't happen again.

>>37241406
I mean, it was implied we were on thin ice, so I don't know

>>37241405
Oh, okay. Why did you choose those martial arts?

>>37241408
Thought so. Guess you got bullied in the past too.

Did you try to change your apparence? Wear things that makes you look better, or just walk in a better way? It's still a confidence boost to be somewhat well dressed when out. If you look like shit, you'll feel like shit, and will be more prone to lack of self confidence.

But besides that, it's all about realising why you're thinking that, and arguing with yourself.

I mean, if you're doing nothing out of the ordinary, there's no way they'd laugh at you.

>>37241480
I unfortunately don't know your story, but I wanted to give you a positive feedback nonetheless.

But from the looks of it, it's still a good news: if he's willing to improve, the situation will

>>37241500
You responded to the wrong post.

>>37241480
What was around here. Plus I've been friends with the instructor since I was a kid, we went through school together.

>>37241481
I'm working on changing my appearance. I already got some new clothes, now I just need a better haircut and I'm working on my acne.

I don't really do anything weird, but I am just generally insecure about everything. I don't know what to do in public. For example, when I'm waiting for the bus I feel very awkward and have no idea what to do. Do I pretend to be on my phone? Look around and enjoy the view? Avoid eye contact?

I'm socially awkward and don't know anything. I try to act cool and look around since I notice others doing that, but then I'm overwhelmed with the thought of looking weird because I'm just standing there doing...nothing? It's very strange but this is my entire thought process when I'm in public. I hate it so I try and not go out. I strictly only go out once a month. Any more than that and I start having panic attacks/paranoid I'm being followed.

>>37241614
That's cool, does he give you a friendship discount?

>>37241642
Nope. But its fun and I get excercise, plus get to hang out with one of my only friends so it's fine.

>>37241623
Just try to objectify all other people, and when you finally see them as objects you can overcome your social fear. This is what I do anyways. You can't be worried about what people think if you don't think of them as people.

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>>37241623
You don't need to pretend in public. It's like walking one way, and remembering you have to go back because you forgot something. Some take out their phones and turn around, because of the lack of self esteem. Others, just turn around not pretending, as it's rather common to forget something.

If you don't know what to do in public, or in a general way, just look at what others do. For your bus exemple, you can just look at one point and think. You can think while looking around. You can even talk to others, doing some small talk about whatever ("Can we be bored together?" then follow up with their destination, and keep asking questions: their answers will bring new material). You can listen to music, you can check on your phone.

Really, there's no "way" to act in public. Just do what you have to do, and feel like doing on the spot as long as it's not gross or retarded.

>>37241685
Oh man, that's awesome. Do you enjoy it though? Because it seems like you really don't enjoy it.

>>37241705
This is good, but he could just do this >>37241702.

>>37241381
Congratulations Zoidberg, I'm glad evetything worked out for you.
>>37241751
I enjoy it when I can enjoy anything. Sometimes I just can't enjoy anything no matter how much joy I should get. Just how bad it gets sometimes. I swing from soul-crushing darkness to a lighter depressed where I can occasionally feel joy and laugh. Right now is the not happy times, and always gets much worse before it gets better.

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>>37241623
Going out once a month is extreme though. Your goal should be to have the same feeling when you're home as you're outside. Extending your comfort zone.

It's more of a result than a cause though. What helped me, and people I know, is basically:
-Dressing to impress (your typical casual business look is good, shirt + blue jean)
-Acting confident, until you realise other believes you are. And soon enough you'll realise that there's nothing to fear.
-Understanding that people are easy to impress. Dress good, act nicely, and you're off of a good start.
-Going out with people and studying them. Studying people in general. To see how they do, how they react, so that you can be inspired. The better your subject of study is doing in a social place, the more you can learn. That's actually how I went from shy-that-never-talks-to-anyone-at-school to being in the center of attention and making people laugh.

Of course it won't work overnight. But that's still some things I know work, and that doesn't require going to a therapist.

>>37241784
People aren't objects pal, he might still be sane
Don't make him like us

>>37241829
You sound pretty tortured. At least you can manage to squeeze the joy out of it sometimes.

>>37241702
This is extremely smart.
>>37241705
>You can think while looking around.
God, I used to do this and it makes me cringe. Basically, my brother, his friend, and I, all went to iHop one night. As we were waiting for the food to arrive, I was looking out the window, enjoying the view, and got lost in thought about how cool it looked (I rarely go out and it's a bit exciting for me to look at new stuff when I do). Then, I look around and my brother's friend was giving me the strangest look. He looked creeped out or something. He said "Uh...anon? What are you looking at? You look sad or something." I froze up, not sure what to reply with. I was just enjoying the view and it seems like I was doing something wrong according to him. Was it not okay to look out the window? I don't understand. Ever since that incident I became more anxious about how I look in public. It's so hard. My palms get sweaty and I find it hard to breathe. This one comment he made fucked me up for some reason. I wish I never had to leave my house again.

>>37241916
I didn't mean it as an actual suggestion. It was a joke, but if you want to try go right on ahead.

>>37241886
Thanks. Its just how I've existed for years, at this point its just a baseline for my existance. Sometimes worse, sometimes better, but depression is default at this point. I know its not healthy or normal and I really need mental help but can't pay for that shit.

>>37241877
Great advice. I'll go all of this.
>going out once a month is extreme
I know. I recently became a NEET again. I had a job and quit because I could not handle being outside. I was always looking around, trying to catch someone laughing at me, staring at me, etc. Ever since I became a NEET again my anxiety levels have improved tremendously! I haven't felt this good in a very long time.

>>37241976
What if you got someone else to pay for it?

>>37242018
do all of this**

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>>37241829
Depression is a bitch, heh? I'm feeling you.

>>37241916
I used to space out a lot, and still do. Switching off your consciousness and being a spectator of everything around. Not thinking, nothing, just enjoying the view. Of course, I got told to be a daydreamer, or a strange person just for doing it.

It is okay to just look somewhere and think. Or even to just look, without thinking. A lot of people do it.

On that moment, you could have said that you just enjoyed the view!

But yeah, I kind of understand how you feel. I cannot stress how much you should be relaxed, avoiding this anxiety in public for literally reasons that only you can see. Ever tried breathing exercices?

Ah, and while I think about it: if you can manage to communicate, you'll be better. For instance, I had to lay down on the floor in a crowded place because of a risk to faint one day, and I just did. People around me looked me strangely, and I just told them that I had to because of the condition I had during that period. They understood, some asked me if I needed help, others carried on.

>>37242018
Being a NEET won't be sustainable long term though. You really need to work in this anxiety. Are you sure there's no way you can get some medical attention? There's always a way, trust me.

>>37241877
So Frenchy, why are you here? Sorry if I have already asked this, but I probably forgot.

>>37242037
Like who? Parents are low end of middle class, siblings can't, grandparents are barely hanging on, and in burgerland so no fucking (usable) insurance since mental care isn't included in my monthly Obamatax.

>>37241381
>he's willing to put effort into making things work

Are you?

>>37241405
>I don't date people I wouldn't want to be with (or so I think)

You can't know within seconds of dating.

>>37241405
>Was doing the whole 'intensive staring' thing until I'd catch her looking then she'd quick look away.

That's how it works. If they keep staring, give you a hateful look and grin, that's when you need to worry (true story).

And yeah, don't date babies.

>>37242086
Aaaaaand my english is getting worse day by day.

>>37242107
Sense of belonging, the support the thread gives to me, otherwise I'm depressed, derealized, depersonalized, have blunted feelings and surely a bunch of shit that is related to the previous statements.

What about you? I have a bad time remembering each and everyone's story

Going to the jacuzzi sex orgy, will be back much, much later, if at all. Have fun without me.

>>37242122
Well shit. I was hoping that you had someone to turn to.

>>37242155
Oh, I asked you this in the last thread. I'm sorry that I forgot. I might have aspd.

>>37242206
It's alright, I don't mind being asked.

>>37242225
I remember you telling me that you found it difficult to explain your absence of emotions right?

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>>37242086
No I don't have access to medical attention. I cannot afford it and I have no health insurance unfortunately. It would be nice to talk to someone about this. I've been doing meditation on and off since I was 14. It feels amazing every time I do it, but it's hard to find the motivation. I get lazy. I spend 15 hours a day on 4chan and do nothing else. It's addicting and takes up all of my time.

That sounds even more pathetic now that I write it... this is the only place I feel welcomed

>>37242259
Surely. Using the word "feel" while not really feeling anything makes it hard for people to understand how it is.

Besides, I look like I do have emotions from the outside. It's not an absence of emotion, it's just blunted feelings though. Which means I have some, but it's... well, blunted. These emotions got to be extreme for me to be felt, or touch me in unguarded spots.

>>37239171
Hey Nick, do you mind dumping the tests from the last thread again?

>>37242308
Oh, I see. Can you control them?

>>37242086
It is the worst.
>>37242152
I get to know people long before I consider asking them on a date. If we can't talk for half an hour then I don't even bother.
Only times I got hateful looks was when I'd confronted her about the cheating. She looked like she wanted to murder me, and tried to paint me as the bad guy for finding out.
>>37242166
I wish. Don't even have a rich distant relative to kill for an inheritance.

I want to punch things and die. I have nothing left. Therapy seems like a waste of time, its just fucking kindergarten knowledge and ass-pats that make no fucking sense. None of these medications are helping or if they do i have to take way too much. I feel like im rotting from the inside out. Everyone around me can tell. Its all just so tiring to bother to live. All i wanted was to be loved and the only one i loved doesn't care any fucking more. Why bother. I tried my best but its not good enough for anybody. Cant sleep, voices bring up all the happy memories that are long gone to taunt me and get me to die. Its all so horrible.

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>>37242303
I used to play videogames 10 hours a day without taking a break.

Do something else, try reading (libraries are free), watch movies, series, ect. Sticking to your habit won't bring you anything remotely positive.

Also, a job. I can't emphasize on how much having a job can help. I know you have anxiety, but if you get money, you'll be able to afford these therapies.

In the meantime, try applying what I said. It should help.

>>37242337
I'd say no, but I actually had extremely rare occasions in four years (two perhaps) where I managed to simply shut down the emotion I felt. I have no clue how I've done that, I have no clue why I'd do that, so I assume it was some unconscious self defense mechanism.

>>37242344
It could be worse. It can allways be worse haha

>>37242367
Yet therapy isn't a waste of time. That is, if you have a real doctor, and don't follow some made up practician.

>>37242344
That's too bad. You're really stuck aren't you?

>>37242388
How do you get the motivation to not be on 4chan or play video games all day? It's all so addicting and fun. I feel like I can't do it.

>>37242388
Yes it could. I could lose those happy times.
>>37242398
Yup. Have to either keep suffering until I have the means to seek help, or die, only real options.

>>37242388
Huh, I was kind of hoping that you could. Oh well. I'm able to change my emotions at will, unless I'm angry. I can make myself angry, but I can't stop myself from being angry. I also thought that this could be a defense mechanism.

>>37241381
What did you lay out, lobster man?
>>37242165
Wrap it up

>>37242441
Just break down and go to a psych ward. They'll take great care of you.

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>>37242430
That's the trick. You feel like you can't do it, yet you can do it. It's possible.

It's about taking baby steps. Try watching a film a day, an episode of a serie, try reading for X minutes each day. Create a routine.

It's pretty much like getting fit, but applied to everything else. You have your "work out", and you do it, no matter how you feel on the moment.

Decide how much and when to do, and when it's time, don't think about anything else:

Do it.

When you realise that one hour a day of doing something is easy, and not long, you can add more, do something else, ect.

One hour applied each day for a week means 7 hours of "work". That adds pretty fast.

>>37242457
Then be happy
>implying happiness is an emotion

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Nick once commented on his own unwillingness to merge with a superintelligent computational system. So I ask the rest of you, if you had the opportunity to unite your consciousness with an AI, what gains (increases in pleasure, intellectual or physical ability, elimination of your or others' distressing symptoms, preservation of your limbic system or otherwise retaining certain aspects of your humanity, etc.) would you require in order to accept this offer? Are there any here who would reject it absolutely? This question is aimed at the reluctant, but those who are as giddy as I am about the prospect are welcome to chime in with their thoughts as well.

>>37242474
I'd love to. But student loans gonna start coming due in the fall, and have $80 bucks in savings.

>>37242533
Happiness is boring, because it's not exciting. I want the rush anger gives me. That's one the reasons why I'm an angry person.

>>37242563
I'm against it, until
>elimination of ... others' distressing symptoms
Done. I'll lose my soul and any future I may or may not have to save you guys.

>>37242563
>implying we could
>implying you can just transfer "consciousness"
>implying "consciousness" isn't related to the body
>implying you can separate the two, even if both are different
>implying both are different
>implying I'd want to be in artificial LCL

I'm ok being just a human.

>>37242574
You really have no option do you?

>>37242315
Here, Eh.

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html
http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/do-i-have-ocd
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/stpd/stypal.php
https://pcsearle.com/screening/screen_des.html
http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/
http://www.educateautism.com/infographics/sally-anne-test.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/health/mental-health-assessment

>>37242634
>implying we needed all your greentext and wouldn't be better off if you had only posted the final sentence

Feel free to say why you think you couldn't fuse your "mind/body" with additional constructs and attain a unified experience.

>>37242563
Yes, I would do this, then I would kill everything and conquer the galaxy. I would spread like the virus that humanity is.

>>37242658
Thanks meta! I'm very grateful.

>>37242624
You really are an Hero. I like you 17% more than I did before, which was already a substantial amount.

>>37242655
Just one: suffer through or eat lead.

>>37242708
The question in itself assumes way too much already, my greentext was just a way to sum it up

But you're asking for fun and giggles, aren't you?

>>37242770
Thanks? I'm not worth much, but if I could save you guys all I'd ask is for you to remember me.

>>37242732
Why kill? What's to conquer if the organisms are all gone? What will you do once you've scrubbed the life from all the rocks in the universe?

>>37242804
>Why kill?
So nothing can oppose me.

>What's to conquer?
I'm not dominating the organisms, I'm dominating the terrain.

>What after all life is dead?
Do the inevitable, destroy the universe.

>>37242782
Your greentext intrudes things that weren't actually in what I wrote. But if we're coming at this with a wide discrepancy in philosophical positions, we won't get anywhere unless we start with basics and work our way up until we hit disagreement. Do you believe consciousness is necessarily dependent on biological substrates?

>>37241190
I feel this way a lot, Also new here. I sometimes have to say outloud "Stop" just to stop the thoughts.

>>37242781
Good luck and stay alive.

>>37242797
I'll remember you as the Hero you were. Do you believe in "souls?"

>>37242658
Huh, I guess I'm kind of gay.

>>37242893
Thanks. I've already proven I can't pull the trigger on myself before so unless an opportunity arises for me to sacrifice myself for someone else I'll be around.

>>37242876
I don't necessarly want to get into this right now. Perhaps a later time

>>37242927
Then live to be a better person.

Whoever that didn't play Nier Automata or didn't plan to should reconsider their life choices.

It's a masterpiece. Go buy it.

This was brought to you by the guy that wants you to experience art.

Hey guys do you ever stop throughout your day and see something that brings back a feeling you had as a kid, and then have it disappear in a few seconds. the only way I can describe the feeling is "happiness"
I feel happy now but it doesn't feel anything like the feelings I remember. Is this just nostalgia? I feel like its more than that.

>>37242947
That's fine. I would be interested to hear your opinions. Or anyone's on this topic. Differences in people's conceptions of consciousness fascinate me. If anyone would like to say what types of physical systems you believe could be conscious (especially how far down the phylogenetic tree they're willing to extend the notion) and what ethical import this instills them with, I would love to hear some thoughts.

>>37242911
Yes. Which is why I said I'd give mine up to save you guys, mine's been suffering for years and non-existance is better than Hell.
>>37242959
I try my best. I don't get anything out of helping people, but maybe by helping someone else they can live their life more fully. Maybe they can be happy.

>>37243011
What's it about Frenchy?

>>37243047
That's a very selfless thing to say. Good job.

>>37243029
I do, yes.

I don't know what it is or what the trigger is.

>>37243043
Look up at wikipedia. You shoukd know that idealism sees the mind as detached from the body, (Descartes for instance), and materialism doesn't. After all, if the mind was detached from the body, how come damage to your brain changes your mind?

Consciousness is a core concept in philosophy. Philosophers>common people on that part.

>>37242873
Why? Do you also intend to destroy yourself once you've busted up all the galaxies? How thorough would you want to be with your destruction?

>>37243051
You play androids that protects mankind, by attacking machines created by aliens that invaded earth in the year 10k something.

That's the start of the plot though, and at the end of the game, it's NOTHING like it. Trust me. Go play it. It's just a fucking masterpiece. A videogame that breaked through pure entertainement to become Art.

I have blunted feelings. I cried multiple times and had to stop playing for 2 days because of the schock of an event. Go blind on it. Just get it.

>>37243090
I don't actually need to look at wikipedia for this. I'm not exactly sure why you're keen to estimate my knowledge of this topic as low, but you should know that people will respond more positively if you extend a bit of charity. Did you perhaps notice that I was asking for people's personal opinions?

>>37243100
>Why?
I don't know which part you are questioning.

>Do you intend to destroy yourself?
I'm destroying the universe. I'm pretty sure that the universe includes me.

>How thorough is the destruction?
Again, I'm destroying the universe. Everything is going to be destroyed.

>>37243158
I guess I'll have to check it out if it's that good.

Therapy was absolutely horrible today. I lost control and one of the younger parts managed to come out. And now I have a headache and i have to work in an hour.

>>37243047
Are you religious? Have you had experiences which lead you to believe in literal souls?

>>37243158
Oh fuck me, it's a ps4, pc exclusive. I have neither.

>>37243183
Philosophy isn't necessarly known, so I just assume that not everyone has knowledge about it. Then I adapt to the individual when I see it's not the case.

And yeah, I've noticed, but too late. Sorry on that one.

>>37243228
It's not "that good". It's a masterpiece. Story carried through gameplay. OST is 11/10.

>>37243274
It's on PC. If you crack it though, you won't get the full experience as you need to connect online for one peculiar event.
>tfw I cracked it because poor as fuck, and I regret it

>>37243206
Well, why? Why destroy everything? I don't understand what the appeal is to you. Couldn't you just destroy yourself and have the same end experiential result?

>>37242563
I would do it for free, assuming it was MY computer system, hooked up to me alone and protected from interference. Maybe even with an AI system integrated for dull work. Hell, I'm going to get one in real life as soon as possible. Even trying to get into a somewhat related field of study.

>>37243298
I'm not getting this shit. I'm sorry, but there's no way that I can get it.

You guys are early today.
How's it going lads?
Hope you're all well today.


>>37243011
My electric blanket cannot run it and I don't want to buy it on ps4.
I'll pass phamalam.

>>37243240
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully things will be ok.

>>37243304
No. I want to be known as the destroyer of worlds. The destructor of the universe. Nothing stands against my might. I also might recreate life, and become God.

>>37243322
What field are you trying for, Blues?

>>37243348
I'll have to manage.

>>37243334
I'm genuinely unsure how I'm doing. No physical pain, so I guess I'm feeling good enough. How have you been?

>>37243384
Electrical engineering, probably biomedical engineering as the primary subject. Master's degree. Doctorate if I get unmotivated and want to keep studying.

>>37243527
Very cool. Wish I could be that productive. I wish you the best with that.

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>>37242563
Nope, i would really like it if I'd simply sieze existing though.
Back to nothingness, square one.


>>37243455
Losing the will to survive by every passing minute of this boring existence.
Others around me don't make it too comfortable to live with either, my own family despites me, everyday i wake up its the same thing.

Putting on my head phones, walking down the "stares", then back to my lair.
I often hear them through the walls, talking shit about me, it kills me everytime, so i just focus on anything else to pass the time.

Sometimed I wonder if this is just a phase an if I'll grow out of it, other times I'd rather just die.

Sorry if im yapping alot, it takes alot of time to be in the mood to rant these days and I'd rather get these things off my chest asap.

>>37243554
>that productive
I wouldn't go as far as call myself that. As I said, I'm trying to get into the field. Still got entrance exams and I haven't been able to study anything close to what I should have thanks to apathy, depression and their various friends. Also considering I fucked up in high school due to depression and dissociation, NEET for two years + year of conscription so I've forgotten half the things I'd learned and I'm not at all sure I'll get in.
If you're even struggling to get somewhere, you're already as productive as I am.

Hi,
my sadness has been in check lately, and that is nice, but I fear that I might fall again soon.
Trying to stay strong for friends.

>>37243079
Thanks? I guess?
>>37243256
Yes. Plus feeling living things souls leave their bodies for over a decade of exposure to death helps.

Had an interesting moment. Had to go to hospital because I cut myself with broken glass like a retard (was self-harming, cut got infected) and the doctor that tended to me made me consider my actions a lot.

The guy had a really fucked up eye, it kind of bulged out. He looked like a Men In Black alien or the alien from The Thing, he was that disfigured.

I just thought to myself here I am sitting with this guy, despite his horrific disfigurement he got through his shit situation and became a doctor. Here I am as a result of self-harming and what do I have to complain about? This guy has been through so much more and has been so much more unlucky than myself, and the contrast between our situatuons made me feel ashamed of myself.


Sorry if this was long, felt like a good place to post this.

>>37243870
T. tumblr retard.
I bet you took pictures and posted them on the internet too.
Fucking morons, everywhere.

>>37243960
Nope, no one knows apart from that doctor, and I'm not going to let anyone I know know about this.

I know I'm a fucking retard, I'm looking into getting some scar removal shit when it heals up. Tattoo is a last resort.

>>37243960
Bort be nice
>>37243870
Glad you came to this realization. Now what will you do with it?

>>37244393
Well I definitely won't be harming myself again. It's fucking irritating, I chose an awful time to do it, it being t-shirt weather and everything.

I just think it has inspired me to get through university. This guy became a doctor despite everything, surely I can suck it up and get through my final year.

I just have this weird inability to behave normally. I can't make friends no matter how hard I try. The loneliness and boredom drives me to do silly shit like this.

>>37244393
>Borderline personality disorder
Can't help it.
I just go with the flow i guess

I feel like shit because I feel bad that my friend is better than me at drawing while being younger and been drawing for less.
I don't want to feel this way about him.

>>37244596
It's normal to feel like this. You never know, he may think you're better than him. Why don't you try to help him, or why don't you try to learn from him? You just need to get over yourself.

>>37244715
> he may think you're better than him
I know he doesn't

>>37244840
Well you might be surprised. Still, learn from him, bounce ideas off of him, maybe work together.

What do you both draw?

>>37245023
>Well you might be surprised
believe me I know for sure

For me it's not a matter of learning anymore, I know everything, just don't know exactly how to make things looks right, which is more a matter of practice.

>maybe work together.
the only idea of him existing hurts me, I could never do something like that, I physically stopped working when he asked me if I wanted help

>What do you both draw?
usually just fan art of stuff, and other things from time to time, like scenery practice and the likes

>>37245392
You're better than me, does that mean I should stop drawing?

>>37245662
I never said that I'll stop,
I will never stop, since it would mean to stop living for me,
I just feel a sharp pain in my chest when I think about that

Seeing someone younger that you achieving way better stuff in waaaay less time just makes me feel bad

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Hey Atlas, I'm confused: I thought Atlas carried a huge weight on his shoulders not his waistline.

BA-ZOOM

*High-fives weedy, rat-like toadie*

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>>37245990
>Seeing someone younger that you achieving way better stuff in waaaay less time just makes me feel bad

wew, I know that feel

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>will never fall in love.
>will never be loved.
>will never experience love
>not even my family loves me.
>everyone I know has someone they secretly chat with all night and bond with.
>everyone except me has a lover.
>I'm destined to stay alone forever.
>TFW blew the only chance of having a relationship "for the lulz"
>remembering that shit makes me really want to kill myself.
TFW loser.

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I want to stop selling drugs because I feel guilty that I'm being a disappointment to my family and my deceased dad but trapping just makes me too much money.

>>37247453
Use the money to actually get yourself a decent job.
Selling drugs around here where i live is basically a hobby tgat gets you pocket change and sustains a drug habit, rarely do people around here do it full-time unless theyre moving heavy shit, and even then, they have to move a lot. Tons of competition in major cities.
I hope youre just selling weed and psychadelics otherwise you can burn in hell.

>>37247453
Where do you live anon, I'll have to replenish my stash soon.

>>37247571
Mostly just weed and psychedelics, but also benzos, opiates (just hydro and oxy) and MDMA if I can get it. It's the most money I've ever made in my life and I don't think working a regular job would be able to compare.

I'm looking into maybe call center jobs but I won't be able to pay for my rent and my college tuition on some $9.00/hr job, and I haven't worked a legit job in two tears.