Holy shit fatbots I found the cute. Go drink any calorie free

>>37193692
How about you just don't eat garbage?

>>37193692
I meant cure I don't get why auto correct is such a baffling piece of shit.

>>37193692
>Go drink any calorie free liquid you can for me it was seltzer and vodka
vodka has calories in it anon. alcohol isn't exactly your body's preferred fuel but it will extract calories from it, and store any excess.

"Don't starve yourself, just eat bacon"

>>37193708
My metabolism is literally on 0 meaning I don't even have a slow metabolism I literally don't have one at all. Eating healthy isn't even enough for me. I eat healthy as fuck and STILL have to puke to maintain. Today I ate rice and vegetables and 2 slices of bread so. Some of us are just cursed I could literally drink water for 3 days straight and not eat and somehow gain 10 pounds. God made me do this not me or my diet.

>>37193717
>just googled this
>64 calories in a shot of vodka

Holy FUCK why did no one tell me this?!?!?

No wonder why Jesus fuck

>>37193725
I knew a poor guy that would have loved to have a metabolism like that. He froze to death in February.
So, what kind of exercise do you do?

>>37193725
>My metabolism is literally on 0 meaning I don't even have a slow metabolism I literally don't have one at all
Yeah totally you are magic, how about showing this to some scientists you could earn a lot of money.
kill yourself you dumb piece of shit who doesn't even know how living organisms work have a nice day

>>37193740
Yeah a fifth of 40% vodka has about 1600 calories. It's the alcohol.

>>37193763
No I actually do defy the laws of physics im serious.

>starve for a week
>jog and work out all day
>gain 20 pounds
>say fuck it get high and eat whatever I want including full pizzas
>wake up the skinniest I've ever been

It's literally like my body is converting oxygen into weight somehow.

>>37193740
Haha I'm glad I've stayed up til 5am to see this post

>>37193725
Hurry run to CERN and let them know of the miraculous bending of the laws of thermodynamics that occurs inside your body. You are about to change history. Good luck!

>>37193792
Nice shill, fuck off you fat fuck

>>37193692
How about you just cut calories and move more you pathetic cunt

>>37193692
jesus, just fucking eat less. i am literally diagnosed with binge eating disorder and i've eaten less than 1500 calories every day for the past week and a half. you make me sick


there are no shortcuts or cheat codes when it comes to this shit my dude. you need to accept it.

>>37193804
No you don't get it this shit actually does happen. Maybe I'm a Martian or something because I don't lose weight at all. Even if I starved for a whole year I'd be fat. I could literally be a Jew sent to a concentration camp and I'd be the only person there the size of a blimp.

>>37193740
Are you literally 12 to not know that alcohol has calories
Am I spending my time with retards?

>>37193740
>>37193780
it's not as bad as it seems because your body prioritizes clearing the stuff out over extracting energy from it, especially if you're drinking a lot. Of course if you search for "how many calories in alcohol" you'll get a bunch of government health services and temperance outfits that are eager to make alcohol look worse for the waistline to discourage you from drinking it, so they all report the calories you get if you were to burn the alcohol completely.

That said, you still get nonzero calories from it. And unless you're willing to confine yourself to vodka your drink will probably have carbs and sugars in it, and you don't get any deductions for those.

>>37193845
Physician-assisted starvation and ketogenic diets are two shortcuts.
BTFO

>>37193845
Mo you don't get it I actually do starve myself and eat healthy when I do it and don't overeat my stomach literally growls for days. I have to puke or I won't lose weight my body literally pulls pounds of fat and calories out of the air like some sort of filter feed and just stores it for years and years whereas a normal body will just digest it and burn it off.

>>37193865
both of those things require the same amount of willpower, if not more than, eating a few hundred calories less than what your body needs to maintain your weight. having willpower and discipline is not a shortcut.

BTFO

>>37193867
please be bait

>>37193897
Nope my body literally derives pounds and calories from no food all because I'm cursed.

>>37193922
that's amazing. you are a miracle of science. you need to be studied so that people can use whatever phenomenon is at work here as a way to end the energy crisis. we would never need to burn fossil fuels again.

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>>37193692
haha what a dumbfuck

>>37193897
Doing something mindlessly on autopilot is the opposite of willpower, even if it is beneficial.
By showing that you do not know what it is, you have demonstrated that you have no willpower!
BTFO

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>>37193954
what the hell are you originally talking about?

>>37193991
Evading the filter is a bannable offense. Try actually being original.

>>37194012
typing out an original post is also a method of evading the filter.

>>37193947
T skinnyfag

>>37194024
You are a double nigger.

>>37194048
you've been double niggered

t. double nigger

>>37194061
You have to sign all of your posts like that now because you are the only double nigger on /r9k/ due to the originality constraint.

>>37194061
>>37194080
Could you two get a room and suck each other dicks there pleaze

>>37194096
do you want in bby

>>37194096
no, we would prefer to do it in plain sight

>>37194114
OH SLUDGE YOU CUMPL33T ME
LET'S SHITPOST FOREVER

>>37193692
or you can exercise and eat properly

>>37194139
people who like or at least are willing to put up with doing that aren't fat. If you're fat the whole reason is because you're not willing to do that.

>>37194179
such people are guaranteed to remain fat

>>37194219
Then there really shouldn't be any discussion on the matter. Both sides will just talk past each other. The /fit/fag who asks the fat guy "why don't you lift, it feels good!" gets mad because he can't imagine someone hating lifting. Because he loves it. The fat guy can't imagine how anyone could ever enjoy working out, because he hates it. We should just accept that people will fall into whatever weight class their personality predisposes them to.

>>37194251
people unwilling to change their habits should just accept reality, however i harsh. i was that person for a very long time and i was miserable. you can't have your cake and eat it too.

>>37194332
you can have your cake and eat it too. it'll just make you fat.

>>37194347
eat bacon

OP,
If that is indeed the case you may suffer from hypothyroidism. Get tested. It's an ez medication fix.

>>37193753
This is so sad, anon. You have my sincere condolence.

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>vodka has 1500 calories
>alcohol tastes like shit and only food can really kill the taste for me(or really really strong tasting juice that has calories in it)
>getting drunk makes me hungry af

Why? Why is alcohol so fucking revolting but makes me feel so good. I will never stop being fat because of it

are there any cook books/recipes that aren't fancy shit and I can make quickly? And don't involve a ton of beans
>tfw 400 lbs and can't lose weight
I have to ask my doctor how to check my genes. at this point I'm 80% sure it's genetics

will drinking sweet protein shakes help me lose weight? do they make you feel full?

>>37194588
Eating below TDEE will make you lose weight. Eating fibre will make you feel full. Protein sort of makes you feel full. Not for as long as fibre

>>37194411
I watched my best friend since childhood die alone.
I wonder, will the same thing happen to me.