going insane

>>37186366
Where did you meet her?

original conten

>>37186397
Uni . Im so pathetic,

>>37186397
Its like the first pretty girl who shows me any kindness ive fallen for, im like a stray dog , i do feel pretty feral

>>37186366
Are you literally me anon

>>37186366
What do you mean you were strangling a dog? Why and how often has this happened in your life?

>>37186397
It was an extremely surreal moment when i first talked to her to be quite honest. It felt like a heart attack and then all my muscles began to ache with adrenaline. Then my head felt like it was filled with sphaggeti .and i felt a massive rush of euphoria like being waay to drunk and high at the same time

>>37186664
Lots and lots, i was bullied a lot and my family is pretty disfunctional so i did disgusting things to make myself feel more powerful. Ive killed about 17 - 20 dogs and a bunch of other wildlife.
It made me feel potent, i feel like i am capable of doing a lot of things that most people arnt

>>37186732
OK now I'm convinced you're literally me
Do you have the dreams too, anon? You know what I mean.

>>37186732
>>37186783
Do you think you're the kind of person someone you love should be in a relationship with? I understand I don't know much about your life but you really should seek some professional help to sort yourself out before you involve someone else into your life. If you can't do that then you're not ready to be selfless enough to have a healthy relationship.

>>37186852
Not OP but I already understand this about me and I also have a problem where I simplify and idealize people in my mind and when they accept/return my advances or show me minor flaws I don't like them
Kill me please

>>37186852
My dad basically said he would pay me to see a psychiatrist, i am terrified of being institutionalised though
>>37186783
I have very lucid dreams, sometimes they are about being in a natrual disaster, other times about killing people or being eaten or raped, sometimes i think i dream the future but that may well be delusions.

>>37186937
So you're insecure. Most (all really) people are. The problem is Op and many other people are wanting to start a relationship based on dishonesty. That never works in forming a healthy relationship. It does help in forming an abusive one or a relationship that doesn't last long and is typically painful for both parties to maintain and terminate. Consider the possibilities for the other partners dishonesty and the things that would REALLY hurt you.

Being honest doesn't mean telling someone what kind of porn you jerk off to. It means living your life in a sincere manner where you're not ashamed of the truths of your existence. That doesn't mean your past rules you but if you're completely dwelling on your past then you've already made that choice. Your partner has no say in the frame of how your life is modeled. Reciprocity is the real way to have a healthy (viable) relationship.

>>37186993
Being scared into paralysis of the unknown isn't a viable path for men in the world. This is the separating line between children and men in the world. That doesn't mean you need to see a psychiatrist but if this gigantic interpersonal fear is ruling your life it will rule the person you're wanting to bring in your life, too.

If the person is worth your time they should be completely fine with you seeing s psychiatrist. If there were a nice young woman you liked and she told you she was seeing a psychiatrist you would be fine with it if you actually cared about her.

>>37187036
You are fucking daft man, if i were to do that all i would ever be able to date would be a girl even more fucked up than i am.

>>37186993
It's good you have some awareness of your dreams. Understand that homicidial ideations are completely NATURAL. Everyone on the Earth has homicidal ideation. It's hard wired in your brain to run through the paces of both killing and experiencing loss. If you don't (from an evolutionary psychological perspective) you're wasting precious brain power to live for the future. The danger lies in acting these ideas out or entertaining them as more than day dreams. There are a litany of cases of people historically thinking they're above this. Look some up and you'll find the mirror everyone looks into. The difference. The difference between a murderer and a normal person is only restraint.

>>37187123
Then maybe your plan should be to fix yourself first.

>>37187190
I think i will be fixed if i can get a gee eff

>>37187276
Another person cannot fix you. This is the scariest part of life. No one knows what the hell you should do to make you the best person you can be except you. That means your parents, your psychologist, etc.

You're it, anon. Do her a favor and make yourself great. She deserves it after all, right?

>>37187348
Ok i will try , i am very scared, if they try to lock me up i will fight them

>>37187441
Being scared is good. Being stagnant is dying. Stop fighting life and start living the way. It only leads to happiness.