Psychosis

>>37185792
From what you listed:
>Pick out noises in crowds
>People (for me, a specific person) seem to be attracted to you
>Hear voices at night (unintelligible whispers for me)
>Paranoia (extreme for me)

I didn't have any of those illusions of grandeur or anything, my psychosis revolved completely around my friend who I fell in love with because of the psychotic episode. All my delusions and paranoia and etc revolved around him. In addition I had some derealization/depersonalization and visual hallucinations.

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The shitty thing is that the intermediary stages on the way to full-blown "tie-him-up-and-give-him-haldol" are really beautiful and meaningful. You can weep with joy at birdsong. It's like a legitimate spiritual experience, but it keeps "ratcheting up" (to put it in journalistic cant), the stakes keep getting higher, until everything is completely spoiled.

Visual hallucinations I've had would be text messages, which I thought full of spiritual brilliance, sent to friends rearranging themselves before my eyes. I still can't quite explain that.

I would also have hallucinations behind my eyes that looked a lot like this.

I never would sleep, I would go into a trance of shifting images, fully conscious, in which I would direct the future and receive spiritual insight.

The future seemed to obey my directions. I am not so arrogant as to think I had magic power. My most scientific explanation is that my memory was scrambled, and my more mystical explanation is that God was fucking around with me.

Towards the end I was laughing hysterically out of FEAR, fear of how terrible the truth of God was, and weeping out of JOY at how beautiful it was. Back and forth, weeping and laughing.

Psychiatrists call it "emotional lability"

>>37186086
>the truth of God

What is it?!

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>>37186127

It's really nothing that can be put into words, or if I tried it would be some silly nonsense. I clearly don't actually know it, or I wouldn't be living the way I do now. I just got a glimpse of it.

My experience of "seeing God" was more like seeing the whole world at one time. Extreme suffering and extreme joy, the worms, the dirt, the leaves, the flowers, the sun... Eris and Eros, all at once. It was just an experience, and MANY people have had precisely the same experience who were not mentally unbalanced, and none have been able to put it in words, and they are unanimous that it can't be put into words. Some have even embraced the experience and become real saints.

I make 13$/hr and get drunk every night.

The closest to words you could get would be in poetry. Any poet worth reading is drinking from this same font.

And I'm tempted to run on and on about love for humanity and things like that but I'd just embarrass myself even as an anon. I want to hear what others have to say because I know others who have been psychotic who saw similar things and I would love to hear from anons here.

And then there are other types of psychosis which are not so romantic at all. Thinking your mailman is poisoning you and your dog is sending you secret messages or something. At the end of my type of psychosis, this does happen, but there are beautiful intermediary stages.

Of course it does get completely horrific at the end.

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>>37185891

Yeah man/girl that sounds straight unpleasant and I'm sorry you had to endure such nonsense. The most fun part of psychosis is the delusion of grandeur. Thinking you're on a grand spiritual quest gives it a lot of meaning, without that it would be like a really bad marijuana high that doesn't end and just gets worse.

How did that end for you? Did you just take antipsychotics for a few weeks or what?

>>37186462
What's your take on spirituality and new-age stuff?

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>>37186714

It's mostly dressed-up narcissism. I have a lot more respect for traditional religions, i.e. Catholicism/Protestantism, Islam, Buddhism, etc, than for that stuff. At the same time it's so broad that I can't say there's no good in it.

I just have known people who say they are "spiritual but not religious" and they more or less seem to worship themselves, and whatever they think is "fulfilling" is important.

Too often, they don't give a shit about the poor, or about anyone but themselves and their vague "development".

I knew a new ager who abandoned his wife and 2-year-old son because he found his "soul-mate" at a yoga conference. That's disgusting.

St. Francis was a saint. And he would have ended up on a psych unit if he were alive today and tried to pull the shit that he did pull.

>>37186701
I'm on Abilify right now, haven't been on it for too long though.

The scariest part for me was the homicidal thoughts I had during it. There was this girl I was convinced I had to kill. God forbid I ever get psychotic again and it's one of my family members who I can actually get my hands on that I feel like I'm supposed to kill.

>>37186867

Did you find a way out of the "end" you saw?

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>>37186921

I never was homicidal but I became convinced, in my second episode of madness, that the best way to beat the malevolent forces (specifically, Russian psyops), who were manipulating every aspect of the world around me and trying to kill me, would be to commit suicide and become reincarnated, starting all over again.

Shit is no joke, maybe I romanticized it a bit ITT, though I meant ever word I said, but at a certain point you do go beyond the pale.

Thank god for drugs. They didn't used to have proper drugs (hellebore did show some promise tho), and people would be in and out of horrible psych hospitals their entire lives at best, if not killed or imprisoned.

>>37186462
i feel like im on the road to this. I did way to much acid a few years ago and ever since them i keep feeling like im about to assimilate into the entirety of the world sometimes. It feels like i finally understand what i am supposed to do and it is die and become apart of the amalgamation. Everyone else is just an illusion trying to show me the way. Its actually really scary.

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>>37187054

>Did you find a way out of the "end" you saw?

Yeah man it's called haldol. They give you an injection of haldol in your buttocks, you fall asleep for the first time in days and already feel better when you wake up, though still fairly mad and confused. You keep taking haldol and slowly come out of it, then they keep you on lithium.

It's really not such an exciting thing, it's like waking from a dream. You just slowly come out of it over 3-5 days on a strong antipsychotic.

Then you have to deal with feeling like a zombie from being on an antipsychotic, ofc. But you can take yourself off them on your own without the advice of doctors.

Lithium is a good prophylactic for some people including myself. It more or less does nothing but make your hands shake and stop you from losing your shit. It really is a very good drug. Other people have to take real antipsychotics long term which is less ideal because they blunt your personality and cognition and make you gain a bunch of weight. Though, obviously, some people have far more positive experiences with them than that.

I've always been curious what the "natural" resolution of psychosis is - it doesn't last forever for most people. But it would be pretty damn self-destructive to experiment in that way on myself. Maybe when I'm much older.

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>>37185792
>Be me 26
>little brother is 24
>he got substance-induced psychosis
>on 1st May police called me because someone reported that my brother wandering around somewhere 20km from my place, naked.
>rush to the police station with my friends to pick him up
>first time when I saw his face the first thing he asked me can I borrow him a laptop, because he want to send some email for assignment
>clearly he lost his mind doing assignment last night
>scars all over his body
>I burst in tears
>bring him home, asked him to shower and put medicine on his body
>also feed him
>ask him to srest and sleep, tomorrow need to bring him to see my parents (parents going back to hometown, but rushingly back to our place to see my brother)
>he cannot sleep after 1 hour of conversation with him
>decides to give him a joint
>finally sleeps
>1 hour later he wakes up and act crazy, like ask us (me and my friend) to take his picture
>obviously he likes to take picture
>things out of control, decide to take him to hospital
>he went to psychiatric ward for a week and now getting better

I never had this kind of experience, but what I noticed that he becoming slow and slower since 3 years ago, the doctor said amphetamine effects his brain and I think marijuana and cigarette lead to psychosis. How to cure psychosis? I really love him, now he need to take Risperidone for 6 months and grounded at home.

Last time I used to think drugs are nothing but experience or fun stuff, but after this kind of tragedy happened to me it changed my whole perspective about drugs.

>>37187193

My best advice for you as someone with a similar story is to stop smoking pot and obviously don't trip. You need to process that stuff. Stop smoking pot and hopefully over the course of weeks/months it will work itself out and you will grow from it. But if you keep smoking pot it could spiral out into nonsense that you really don't want or need.

Even though you can smoke a bowl and not feel insane, even though it may make you feel better in the short-term, pot is really not good for people who are feeling that way. If I had not been smoking pot I may never have had these problems. I really believe that.

>>37187320

Dude he can take risperidone for a few weeks or months and wean himself off and he will get better but he'd be a fool to keep doing drugs after something like that. It's not the end of the world at all, he will get better, don't let a psych doc tell you he needs to be on it for the rest of his life, and don't let him think he can trip or smoke pot after going through something like that. Weed is really bad for certain people, including me and him, and even though it has no obvious immediate negative effects.

>>37187353
yah im thinking thats a good idea. Ive stopped for like 4 days now for a drug test. The only time i ever really have episodes like that is when im really high.

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>>37185792
You know whats worse than being psychotic.. psychopathy. Psychosis can be managed, if you are a psychopath, its an entirely different ball game. Psychosis, the symptoms are repetitive, but psychopathy, you can't ever begin to understand, because to a normal person, it makes no sense. Sure pyschosis, yoh think the rules dont apply
to you, you might hear stuff, see shit, smoke meth, but psychopathy, there is no ability to process reality at all. Once you know you have psychotic tendecies, hey man, its like a walk in a park, because its predictable, psychopathy though is completely unpredictable, because you cant trust someone at all who cant process emotion, yet guesses at it. Holy shit.

>>37187472

You're not a psychopath. A real psychopath would never call himself a psychopath. You're just a garden variety neurotic.

A psychiatrist showed a picture of a fearful face to a psychopath, she said "what emotion is this?"

He said, "I don't know what emotion that is, but it's the face people make before I kill them."

Self-identifying as a psychopath is literally a preclusion for diagnosis.

>>37187472

People not being able process emotions is usually autism/intellectual disability/other things

Psychopathy (which isn't really a diagnosis) is more that you're a manipulative asshole

>>37187400
Yea man I totally quit smoking and becoming social pot smoker, I try to slow down on weed after what happened to him. I mean I can still smoke if I want but I want him to be a better person and not to take drugs so eventually I also have to quit. But yeah last time when he become slow as fuck we never had a fight, like usually I always angry or mad at him for cannot do simple things, like his problem solving skill is fucking low man, everytime I giving advice or mad at him he always keep quiet and just do the sad face. Last week I just had a fight with him after 3 years not having a fight haha. I feel sad because he hates me now because I always nagging about stupid things and also I feel happy at the same time because he's finally back to normal. No longer slow or cannot brain for certain things.

I had some kind of psychosis ish stuff last year. I got obsessed with all sorts of /x/ tier crap, did a bunch of sp00py rituals and became incredibly paranoid. I was convinced that I was God and that ancient Kabbalistic magicians from the year 14000BC had stolen my power. After I got off antidepressants it slowly went away but I don't know if they were related. The only thing I got out of it was the ability to draw really sharp Sefirot.

>>37187673

Yeah I don't know the details of you or your family situation but the ideal situation for someone in your brother's place would be to not be on antipsychotics, and not be smoking pot or using uppers of psychedelics at all.

>>37185792
Similar experience a while ago. Only stopped when I got an ASMR response from something that seemed to make it completely stop right away. It's been happening again lately and ASMR is still helping but I feel tired, sad, lonely.

>>37187607
>Psychopathy (which isn't really a diagnosis) is more that you're a manipulative asshole

True, but they arent even aware of it, thats the insane part. They can't feel remorse, they have no ability to percieve what feeling is. Psychosis, you are aware that your thoughts do not align with reality, a psychopath is divorced from any human perception. Reality, while being objective in a sense can only really be subjective, since the world only exists because you are alive. Reality has no concept without human construction because you are human and only human.

t. Recent encounter with a psychpath, it got my neurons firing.

>>37187791
>ASMR response
>Autonomous sensory meridian response response

>>37187553
Not me, this girl, yes im taking it up a notch.. shes this mentally ill older woman, but shes hot. When I first posted and by the way she was texting me I assumed psychopathy, but I was wrong. Shes just some washed up high tier stacey who got played I guess. I hooked up with her after she got blown off by some rich guy, and I guess I made her feel better, but it was damage control, because im a peasant, I mean she also is but you know shes hot. I cant differentiate guys. Cant tell if shes fucked up (she takes a ton of meds) or its just a class thing.

I left out the woman element not even to make a point, but it just didnt occur to me that might be the reason, but she straight up jumped me via text, and was like fuck you yada yada you made me do all that stuff, its a riot. Red pill in action. Its real guys, those faggots arent wrong.

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Oh yeah I forgot to add, shes my neighbor

Who here /not memeing, staying steamy but dreaming/?

I only will make appearances when I have material, that way I wont shit up the board, but will provide keen insight to this god foresaken hell hole. I might of been strung out and out of my mind, but I belong here

>One of us One of us.. Cant you hear it anons?

>>37185792
>increased sensitivity
thats key, probably the reason for telepathy and prophecy, never had telekinetic ability though.
>as things pick up
yes, when the game is on
...
the game never stops though

>>37185792
jehovah is an evil cosmic war demon and if you commit suicide you are playing into his trap, don't do it.

>>37187285
haldol in the buttocks lol, hehehe
i used to think (((they))) had a mike injected right under my colon

>>37187804
>Psychosis, you are aware that your thoughts do not align with reality
I don't think you know what psychosis is.