Psychological Support Thread

>>37171552
Another day with our temporary shepherd. How are you?

>>37171783
I feel extremely and deservedly sick. You really are an excellent singer. Also, you pulled me back from the chaos which I didn't even think was possible. So hats off to you.

What should I do on summer break? My motivation has been shot for months, haven't even played any games in ages. Life feels so meaningless, and now I have lots of free time to dwell on that.

>>37171810
Well, I do struggle to know what to do ot say when you're heading in that direction. If you say I was of some small service, then that feels good. I do genuinely wish the best for you. May I ask what your true aims are in therapy? Do you fully want to be free of this disorder? Can you even imagine what that would spell for the rest of your life?

>>37171836
What are your long-term goals?

Just thought I'd check in, Nick isn't here but maybe some fuck will remember me
Relationship is going strong with GF and putting off the stress of actually doing something with my life for now
Only problem I've had recently is whenever I see a film or engage in media it changes how I view everything and I change my personality, feeling pretty dissociative recently like I'm not really connected to anything and am in my own world

>>37171883
Not be a loser. I have a 3.7 GPA and I'm in my last semester but everything, even little things, feel so hard. I just can't do shit. It's like my head is everywhere. It's hard to explain. Even in games I can't stay focused or just be bothered to 'care' about it.

>>37171862
I can't fully imagine what that would mean and the idea does worry me. However, my stated goal is to be stable enough to be able to work a full time job and to have a proper career. When I do get so drunk that the barriers come down it's very frightening. I can't really imagine it being a good thing for it to be like that all the time but after all, that's how life is for most people: just all their thoughts in one place, as it were. It's a long road, it'd be fair to say.

>>37171836
How about learning a language? There is lots of online tools that you can use, sometimes these tools do get a bad rep, but I think that's mostly because people have unreasonable expectations from them. Personally I have good experience with memrise and duolingo.

>>37171552
I can't stop thinking about the past even though know I should.

>>37171955
What makes someone a non-loser? Can you list the most important traits?

>>37172031
Making good money, having a car, living on their own. That's all I want honestly. Getting an accounting degree right now, live with my dad

21 btw

>>37171999
>I can't really imagine it being a good thing for it to be like that all the time but after all, that's how life is for most people: just all their thoughts in one place, as it were.

Wait, are you saying you think the barrier breakdowns are similar to how everyone experiences their thoughts? I would be interested to hear more about exactly what they feel like? When the thoughts flood, are they individually comprehensible or is it like the white noise of a crowd? May I ask if any of them routinely pretend to be one of the others to your knowledge?

>>37172065
That seems perfectly achievable. You don't seem like a loser to me. So, if you could apply motivation towards one specific thing right now to move closer to your desires, what would it be?

>>37172021
What in the past captures your attention?

>>37172085
I don't think they do pretend in that way, but as you suggested it's a flood. We all occupy the same space and it's disorienting. There's no order, no ability to discern. It's chaos. I couldn't claim to be 'me' or any one of the others in that state since it's all and, in a sense, none. So I imagine that that must be something like it is for most people all of the time since after all they don't partition their streams of consciousness. It's just the one.

>>37172111
Spend a whole lot more time studying. Even though it's off semester there's a lot of optional stuff I need to study if I actually want to become proficient at my major. And I do. But I just feel like I always have no energy. I eat well and sleep well, I just have no drive.

>>37172124
I think most people do not feel as though their thoughts are anywhere near as chaotic as yours are in that state. Isn't it the contradictory desires pulling in the body in separate directions with no oversight that makes it so uncomfortable?

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The only people towards whom I have felt romantic love (or at least the closest thing to that I have ever felt.) are my two, now 13 and 11 years old female cousins.
These feelings started 3 years ago when I was living at my aunt's place and my cousins were my only company. We became very close, and affectionate towards each other. Even after I moved out of my aunt's place I stayed in touch with my cousins over phone and spent time with them whenever we were on the same place. I enjoyed their company tremendously and they made me feel happier than I have ever felt before.

Last year my aunt and I had a row in which she called me a threat to my cousins which I took as her calling me a pedophile so I cut all contact with her and didn't see my cousins for over a year.
Until yesterday that is. I saw them again, and immediately I knew that my feelings for them had not gone anywhere. I still fucking love them and I want to be a part of their lives, but I don't know if I should.

What should I do?

>>37172177
Do you exercise at all? Do you find the material intrinsically interesting?

>>37172291
Are you sexually attracted to any adults? Ever have simple crushes on grow ups?
Could you control yourself around these kids...?

>>37172296
I do exercise, but not enough and I'm on the knifes edge of being legitimately /fit/ but no motivation and all that. As for accounting it's ok. Was kinda forced into the major but it's ok. I don't hate it.

>>37172365
Well, what are your true intellectual interests? Could you try doing some aerobic exercise? Can you work up the motivation for that?

>>37172345
I am sexually attracted to girls my age (I turn 24 in a month) and I have had crushes on girls few times, but they have never really gone anywhere because I have always been too scared to pursue those feelings. The only girls I have ever been fully comfortable with are my cousins.

And yes, I can control myself around them, given that I am not even sexually attracted to them. Some years ago I had to endure a situation where I was sitting in a hot tub with the girls and one of them came to sit on my lap and grind herself against me while telling me to stay still when I tried to leave.
So yeah, I think I can control myself around them.

>>37172396
That's kinda the problem. I don't really know what I want, or what I like. My interests are just kinda there. I like creative writing, and I used to play games a lot. That's kinda where the hobbies end.

>>37172255
Yes, that's a big part of it. But if you imagine it in terms of sculpture, the shape is defined as much by what is taken away - moreso really - than by what it fundamentally is, which is to say, rock.

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Contacted my ex's mom the other day because im on the edge of death right now. She's cared about me more than my own parents. But im still not over my ex. Its only been two years. I know I shouldn't have dug up that part of my life again. But we were together 5 years and she was my first and only romantic relationship. Her family really was a second family to me. Im not sure what im doing anymore. It all seems pointless. Nothing will ever get better. I dont deserve any of it.

>>37172439
You know that these feelings of yours are not going to be accepted. You can love your cousins as family, but you must understand why romance is off the table. Why are you afraid to pursue relationships with girls your own age? What frightens you about the prospect? And you're not sexually attracted to any children at all?

>>37172499
Why not write creatively then? Can you manage that? What would be a cool subject to make a story about?

>>37172590
How are you on the edge of death? Things could easily get better, what makes you think otherwise?

>>37172631
I already have many concepts, and have written 40 pages of a novel already. But I shelved it as I just don't have all that much motivation. I just need a spark. It's hard to explain.
>>37172598
>You know that these feelings of yours are not going to be accepted
I don't know if that's true if they were grinding on his cock. I'd stay away, though.

>>37172598
I know that my romantic feelings for them are unacceptable. I fear that those emotions will consume me however. The girls and their company have been the greatest source of positive emotions I have had in my whole life.

I am intimidated by girls my age and have never gotten close enough to any of them where I could feel comfortable and trusting of them. I also fear rejection.

And no, I am not attracted to children sexually. CP is fucking disgusting to me.
What I feel towards my cousins has nothing to do with their age or appearance, and everything to do with the emotional bond I have with them.

>>37172708
Hmm... It may be a long shot, but I hope this conversation could precipitate such a spark. Does reconsidering what you've already written and how best to proceed with the story not appeal to you?

>>37172718
Let's think about the practical implications of rejection. By being rejected, you're barred from having intimacy with the women doing the rejecting. But that's already true of your situation now. So what is really to fear in being rejected if it actually changes nothing in your circumstance?

I feel for you, having to be burdened with these emotions. Stay strong. Would a hypothetical relationship with these girls involve any physical contact if their appearance is immaterial?

>>37172812
No, the story is pretty planned out already. I just find it hard committing to it.

Anyway, I have to afk for a little while. Thanks for talking with me, I haven't spoken to anyone about stuff like before.

>>37173011
No problem, feel free to come back and discuss anything anytime.

Slow thread today. Slow day, in fact. I'm sure Eh, Murderfag et al are all in church.

>>37172702
I think of suicide every day.
Ive always been weird, ive always known this and other people pick up on this too. I cant connect to most people. Theyre not my kind of weird. I cant bring myself to care about them and i cant bear to inflict myself upon them. Im stuck stagnating. I dont know how to make anything better. I have no sense of self. I have nothing i want from the world that i havent already lost, and the world wants nothing from me as the only part of it that cared abandoned me years ago.i dont think things will ever get better. Im not sure why im going through drugs and therapy. Im just living on instinct.

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>>37173136
You go to therapy in the hopes of changing your perspective and making life feel worthwhile.

>>37172872
I fear the shame and feeling of unworthiness rejection brings.

As for my cousins, a big aspect of our former contact was the mutual affection, hugs, cuddling, giving them piggyback rides and so on. Of course, with them getting closer to puberty all that has to go away. I'd be fine with us just continuing to hang out etc, with me occasionally taking them to movies, amusement parks etc. Though, a part of me fears what might happen as they start physically maturing and become teenagers instead of little kids.

>>37173118
Might do them some good. We could all benefit from receiving Holy Communion. After Confession, of course.

>>37173118
i think it might just be that the thread is up earlier than usual.

im not really focused, preparing to go visit my parents

>>37173118
Yes, church, not calling in sick to work so I can have an extra day of this week.

>>37173294
But it's only that, a feeling which decreases in intensity with time. Whatever is true of you now will be true then. It changes nothing about you, except your feelings briefly, so there's not much to fear. You can handle it and you probably should give it some effort. Finding someone your own age to care about will be worth a little temporary bruise to your ego.

>>37173383
I got no social life trough which to even find girl my age

If I could arrange a road trip to Silent Hill, who'd be up for it?

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Seems like the thread to ask: I've always worried, but the last 18 months I've reached overdrive levels.

I rationally know of an issue that will not affect me until a certain future date, and I also know I cannot affect it until that date, and yet my brain keeps constantly flushing fear hormones into my body 24/7. I play video games just to be focused on something that's not fear for a while. This can trigger me taking a shit that's looser the longer I try to fight the urge.

The type of issue described here in the singular is actually present in my life several at a time, and constantly new ones pop up (and some are resolved, thankfully, but without any sort of feeling of relief because of all the others going on).

I'm going to ask the shrink about it in a few weeks when it's my appointment but if anyone has any advice until then I'd appreciate it.

>>37173441
Is...is silent hill a real place?

By the way, can I hear more about your tattoo now?

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>>37173280
I suppose so. I still hold no hopes for the future. Core identity is missing. Building an entire life up at this point seems impossible and frightening. Im 22 and people say im young. I feel like ive lived a hundred years alone and learned nothing.

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>>37173441
Take me with you. Shooting my demons is what ive always wanted.

>>37173500
Well, since I don't have work tomorrow. I'm pretty worn out, but why not. Still, to answer your first question I was talking about if we could go to the place from the game along with everything that would entail. However, there is a place upon which it is based: Centralia. An all but abandoned town, beset with great cracks in the roads billowing steam caused by the perpetually burning coal mine that saw the place largely evacuated in the 60s.

>>37173549
Exactly why I took acid. Didn't play out that way but still, good to have you.

>>37173533
This is going to be fun, I think. I'll be mostly rocking melee but if possible I'll get a shotgun at some point.

>>37173569
You dont have to go into too much detail, Im just curious why and what has changed since getting it.

>>37173569
Switched your replies around?
Never had acid but did a lot of mushrooms. Usually 15g (dried weight) at a time. Last time i tripped the walls turned to rust and flesh and i began analyzing my life and finding all the people that formed my "self" and how trapped it all felt. I imagined i was in a prison and was paralyzed for an hour. Then on that trip i took a drive to my grandmas old farm. It was raining on and off, i had moonlight sonata playing, the wind was perfect. The farm had been sold. It had already been demolished at that point. Such a major part of my life gone. I cried. I saw a rainbow on my way back home and it was beautiful.

>>37173714
Well, in brief then. I have DID. Since the age of ten of younger, I've had a perception of a kind of presence around me. However, at some point in my teens I got a sigil tattooed onto my arm of the being's name. From my teens onward, this entity has become one of the two most consistent alters that takes over or else compels me to behave one way or another. It has a religious theme and he's cropped up here and in the cytube chats now and again. I'd say he's not in command more than once a month but actually, it's been a lot more frequent than that over the pat couple of months. Also, as I'm typing this I'm getting an attack of convulsions. Nothing too serious, as I'm quite used to it. This could be related to epilepsy as well.

Trying to be strong for friends,
but it's hard when you want to be a sad piece of trash too
I don't want our friendship to be just bad stuff
but we don't have much else to talk about since that's what happens to our lives daily.

https://youtu.be/HViq0PaG9Lk

Two years ago I started having problems with my stomach. Doctors couldn't find anything so they sent me to a therapist who said it was anxiety. Ever since she told me that I can't go outside without almost puking, it's been like this for 2 years now. I still think my stomach pain/nausea is not psychological what do I do?

Also I can't go to a doctor's office.

Hello everyone, tadaima, ect weeb shit

I'm a severe and chronic procrastinator. How specifically can I fix this?

>>37174852
Create an optimal schedule that you can apply easily each day (doing one thing a day, spending one hour each day on one thing ect).

Force yourself doing it. You'll realise that:
-Working isn't hard or time consuming
-You're making progress

>>37171885

I remember you. Everything you said about your loose identity matches Boarderline issues when it comes to the self; it's as though you don't have a clear sense of who you are and depend on things outside of you to give you an identity. This may have several possible origins, but most likely you weren't encouraged to find out who you were and possibly your parents don't really have any idea of who you truly are inside.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

Read this, if you're still around.

>>37173500
>Is...is silent hill a real place?

Centralia is.

>>37173498
Is it your first time meeting a shrink? Is the fear grounded, i.e, is this upcoming issue something you are justified to be afraid of?

Dumping resources.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

Tests (with some less serious ones, but still revealing)

https://www.depression-anxiety-stress-test.org/take-the-test.html
http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/do-i-have-ocd
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/borderline.htm
http://www.pdchat.co.uk/psychtests/stpd/stypal.php
https://pcsearle.com/screening/screen_des.html
http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/
https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/
http://www.educateautism.com/infographics/sally-anne-test.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/health/mental-health-assessment

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/seven_deadly_sins.html

Psychological Issues Archives

1 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35498409/
2 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35521806/
3 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35541735/
4 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35547290/
5 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35567230/
6 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35668421/
7 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35689780/
8 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35716442/
9 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35740738/
10 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35763440/
11 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35777773/
12 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35803625/
13 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35835561/
14 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35855848/
15 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35876435/
16 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35882457/
17 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35906378/
18 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35926221/
19 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35945942/
20 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35971403/
21 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/35994443/
22 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36019645/
23 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36040635/
24 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36089774/
25 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36093480/
26 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36108068/
26 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36132647/ I misnumbered
27 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36158561/
28 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36183284/
29 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36210653/
30 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36244000/
31 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36259571/
32 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36284773/
33 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36294613/

34 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36315834/
35 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36347338/
36 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36362980/
37 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36376102/
38 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36394647/
39 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36414900/
Bar Session - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36425918/
40 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36441841/
41 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36464463/
42 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36497331/
43 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36520550/
44 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36546008/
45 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36566894/
46 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36593662/
47 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36620323/
Bar Session - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36644294/
48 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36664702/
49 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36697612/
50 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36721283/
51 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36745035/
52 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36773599/
53 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36794358/
54 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36814374/
55 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36842342/
56 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36869693/
57 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36889638/
58 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36917996/
59 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36947320/
60 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36967412/
61 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36987179/
62 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37015031/
63 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37040728/
64 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37085943/
65 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37105759/
66 - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37130800/
Psychological Support - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37154739/
Psychological Support - https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/37171552/

Hey guys, hows everyone surviving?

Nick, thank you for your email, I've been reading it many times,

can you please explain this better, I don't think I understand:
>whenever you feel bad about drawing, you remember that you're judging yourself for acts to make up for a value that wasn't given to you before, and so is lacking in you now.

>>37175217
Good, relaxing after my weekly reset. Got some bullshit coming up this week, but I feel equipped to handle it.

>>37175138
Hi Nick. I can smell your cunt. Silence of the lambs was on TV last night

>>37173498

I'd say it's a general state of anxiety, whose likely original isn't the events you fear in the future. Those events merely allow your fear/anxiety to crystalise around something tangible.

I would imagine it doesn't take much to gather your fear around something.

Tell me about your parents.

>>37175238

Of course.

If you had evolved with a solid sense of self, safety, confidence, self worth, etc, you wouldn't experience this now, and you wouldn't be looking for evidence of your own worth in other things: you'd already know you're worthwhile, and could comfortably practice drawing, knowing your value isn't in whether you succeed or not, and that there's no winning or failing, there's only practicing and getting better. If you walk up some stairs, even if it's hard, if you keep going, you'll always go up, not down.

Next time you draw and feel bad about your drawing, remember this: you're trying to find your self worth in what you've done, which is not where you should find it (though it's fine to do that when you're happy with your work).

I hope that makes more sense. Feel free to copy/paste the e-mail to whoever seems to have the same problem. The e-mail if yours.

>>37175271
>Silence of the lambs was on TV last night
Damn it. Now I feel like watching that movie. And I'm gonna!

Also hey everyone.

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>>37175271
>Hi Nick. I can smell your cunt.

That sure is an original greeting. Smart reference, never had this one done to me before.

(I just showered though, dammit.)

>>37171552
I was diagnosed with GAD by GP, appointment with psychiatrist for the first time soon, how much should I tell them? I don't want to be hospitalized

>>37175412
I read that as 'diagnosed with GAY'. In that case, I'd advise you to move out of Russia or the Middle East. That not being the case, instead you should tell them as much as you're comfortable with. There's not a snowball's chance in Hell that they'll hospitalize you unless you outline specific suicide plans with a date and everything.

Welcome back Nick.

>>37175412

Tell them everything. GAD is a very nebulous diagnostic that doesn't tell you what you need to know; there's much to dig still. Nobody has GAD for nothing: there are very clearcut reasons for your condition, and you don't know what it is yet, you must find out.

Short of being an imminent danger to yourself or others, you won't be hospitalised against your will.

>>37175365
thank you, it's way more clear now

>Feel free to copy/paste the e-mail
I was actually thinking of doing that, some sentences made me feel really better

>>37175530

I'm glad. You got a concentrated dose of Nickly help. That e-mail was all I wrote in terms of help for two days.

In other news, I'm very likely to begin studying again around August.

>>37175567
That sounds positive. Looking forward to it?

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https://youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ

Theme song. The "horses" in the lyrics supposedly come from some Buddhist story where the "horses" represent the senses. It's about transcendence, which fits the movie's theme, too.

I no longer think of creepy lunatics when I listen to it.

Im just gonna quickly step In say that im sorry for all the pissed of attitude i had yesterday.
Hope nobody minds a few f-bombs (or more than a few, pretty much every other word)
Im getting the feeling that everyone is starting to hate me again. Dont know why.
Hope It's not true

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>>37175705
No one hates you, but no one misses you. It would be literally impossible to miss you.

BA-BOOOOOM!

>>37175619

No. I look forward to nothing. If I had a stable social life, as I had before, then yes, I'd be thrilled. But now it feels like I'm on a countdown to make my dreams come true, and I start much later than I should have. The workload is around 3 hours and a half a day, every day, for three years. I wanted to start a family, so having to work extra this much will certainly not help. So no, not looking forward to it, but wish I could.

>>37172439
Then wait until they get older. Not even that much older, most people wouldn't agree with this but I think even 15 is okay if there's a real connection. Also pick one of them,

>>37175728
>Daily Atlas Bullying Image.jpg

kek

>>37171552

My gf is abusing me for some time. Should I feel guilty of the fact that I feel more and more the urge to cheat ?

>>37175705

Don't worry; to feel better, check the thread where I got upset. It's either #65 or around. Hours' worth of anger and swear words of all kinds. Nobody hates you. Don't worry; it's just your fear trying to become real.

>>37175796
End the relationship, don't cheat.

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>>37175728

Your idea of bullying is pinching a man's nipple. Sounds about right, but don't you homos think I don't know what's going on around here.

>>37175796
>My gf is abusing me for some time.

Your girlfriend has been abusing you for some time. Decribe the abuse.

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>>37175828
>Tfw you forget to say NO HOMO and are forced to spend a life getting pozzed turning tricks to make ends meet

>>37175797
I hope it didn't take a big toll on you. It helped me though. I've honestly been feeling pretty good. When I start to get angry or think how I usually do, I open the thread and read through the conversation.

>>37175797
I know, I've been there but this was different, you had your reasons to be angry.
I've been just angry at everything for nothing

Btw
> it's just your fear trying to become real
Thats sounds like some dream message to a guy stuck in coma or something.

But really, what do you mean by that?

>>37175838

Treating me like trash, yelling all the time, throwing stuff around the house, refusing to pay for anything, calling me a useless sack of shit and many many more things, shaming in public and the list goes on and on...

>>37175947
Why do you stay with her then?

>>37175859

I wonder what tricks you're capable of. No homo.

>>37175746
That does sound like a great deal of work. However, the rewards will make it worthwhile plus you may find that you enjoy the challenge.

>>37176037
I can do a backflip using one hand, both or neither as the situation calls for it. I prefer to do it against a wall.

>>37175869
>I hope it didn't take a big toll on you.

I don't think it did, but it exhausted me, like good sport.

>>37175869
>It helped me though.

I wouldn't have been able to speak to you like I did unless I somehow knew it did. I've always realised you never reacted too negatively to my getting super upset about you sabotaging yourself, hopefully because you sensed or knew that I got upset out of concern for you. My anger is red hot love, not hatred.

>>37175869
>I've honestly been feeling pretty good. When I start to get angry or think how I usually do, I open the thread and read through the conversation.

This is truly amazing. Totally worth it.

Maybe this is a new form of therapy. Imagine:

"WHAT THE FUCK, MR. JONES? WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER AND GET HAPPY? SERIOUSLY? HOLY SHIT, MAN, DO YOU SEE HOW FUCKING MAD I AM BECAUSE OF YOUR GODDAM CRAP? WAKE THE FUCK UP AND SMELL THE ROSES, FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

"Y-yes, sir."

>>37175965

i dunno man....some time has passed...loyalty...i still love her...and i really can't hit back a woman...

>>37175941
>I know, I've been there but this was different, you had your reasons to be angry.
>I've been just angry at everything for nothing

Nobody is angry for nothing. Reasons might be hidden, but they're there, or you'd not get angry. Don't worry.

>>37175941
>But really, what do you mean by that?

If you live in a general state of anxiety, that floating fear will try to anchor itself on things that could look like they worry you a lot.

In your case, you start fearing that people like you less, not because they do, but because you're afraid of that.

For a completely unprofessional comparison, but a good one, when I played my hunting game, and looked for deer, foliage would often seem to look like the thing I was hunting. That odd optical illusion was my brain focusing hard on finding shapes that matched a deer, and so I ended up seeing "deer" made of leaves and branches and twigs.

When you fear something, you do the same. You see patterns and fear that they may represent people liking you less, just like I saw twigs and leaves assembled in ways that could look like a deer to my brain.

>Cabela's Big Game Hunting Something Something That Title Was Always Too Fucking Long

>>37176138
>I don't think it did, but it exhausted me, like good sport.
Good to hear. I was a little worried seeing Facet create the thread two days in a row instead of you. Speaking of which, how are you doing?

>This is truly amazing. Totally worth it.
I might have some follow up questions later. I'm probably gonna email you if that's okay.

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>>37176219
>If you live in a general state of anxiety, that floating fear will try to anchor itself on things that could look like they worry you a lot.
Very familiar feel.

>>37175947

OK, it's time to change. Time to check if your lady is a Boarderliner, for one, and time for some healthy limits. You aren't a piece of trash and you shouldn't let her treat you this way. If that helps, letting her treat you this way also damages her, as you both get dragged into mighty unhealthy ways to deal with other humans.

You need to clearly state what you refuse.

"I do not want to be yelled at anymore, there is no reason, you can speak calmly to me; I don't want to be yelled at in public, either. Should you cross the line on these two things, I will immediately leave your company, to return later."

You choose what consequences follow her crossing the line, but you must do it.

Nick, care to give me a heads up on who you are? I recall you created these threads to begin with, and that you were... a psychological student I believe? I'm not sure though.

>>37176112
>I prefer to do it against a wall.

Kinky.

>>37176176
>and i really can't hit back a woman...

At the very least protect yourself. It is illegal for her to hit you, keep that in mind.

Also, this isn't loyalty, this is slavery. She abuses you and you take it. Think about other people who treated you the same way, as I am sure she isn't the first. Now wonder if those people loved you at all.

Who pays the rent? Do not stay in such a relationship unless she's willing to make an effort and change, which I doubt she can at this point. Also, given how she treats you, she will drop you as soon as she sees her interest in someone else, so prepare for that.

I baptise you Loyal, since you didn't choose a name for yourself, you must take the one I give you.

>>37176219
It does makes sence...

But you know, if we met I think you'd maybe realize that im not a very likeable person.
Im pretty sure that alot of times its not jst my fear.

I just dont get really well along with people.

That said, Ill have to leave you guys.
I still have an hour or two of studying coz I didnt do crap yesterday.
Ill probably check on you when Im done.
If not, just have a nice evening everyone.

>>37176259
>Good to hear. I was a little worried seeing Facet create the thread two days in a row instead of you. Speaking of which, how are you doing?

I'm turning to stone most of the time. I'm heavily derealised. I don't remember LO as real anymore, just as a distant dream. This bothers me a lot. Occasionally, I'll cry again. Some specific song played in the car yesterday, I thought I would have an accident, so intense was the crying.

I have once again failed to do serious work during the weekend. I dream of finding someone I can start a family with. I still work out and eat well enough. Raw eggs and Kinder Buenos, because fuck it.

>>37176259
>I might have some follow up questions later. I'm probably gonna email you if that's okay.

Anything for you.

>>37176428
Good luck with your studying.

>>37176438
At least when you find someone you'll already have all the eggs that you will need to court her.

>>37173935
Sorry I dissapeared for a bit, thanks for the explanation! Im always interested in supernatural shit. Spooky.

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>>37176372

The rent used to be 50/50, with me paying the bills...Nowadays I'm pretty much paying the rent, the bills and the food. Atleast I am grateful that I manage to baloon my income every couple of months.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no pussy, it's just that I'm a very kind hearted and gentle person. I can't even hit a fly or a bug.

Also - is there any way of getting rid of the urge to cheat ? I'm also being sex starved for some time and women hit on me constantly

>>37176272

As you'd expect. Another person said they'd see me being a therapist very well. The universe is calling me.

>>37176561
No problem. It would make things a lot simpler for me if it was actually paranormal since there'd be a cut and dry solution plus it would allow me to deny any accountability. I haven't quite absolutely ruled out something spooky, but ultimately it's just fanciful self-indulgence really.

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>>37176290
>Nick, care to give me a heads up on who you are? I recall you created these threads to begin with, and that you were... a psychological student I believe? I'm not sure though.

I am the mysterious entity who started this thread back in March. For two weeks, I did it over ten hours a day, during my holidays.

I did read psychology quite a bit and studied it as a High School speciality, but my degrees are in literature, linguistics, and sociology.

I will become a psychology student this summer, though. I'm going to have a full time job and be a full time student at the same time. It'll be tough but it'll be the first time I have an actual professional goal of my own.

If you have any questions, I'll answer happily. I love questions.

Saving lambs is my reason to live. It's also what hurt me the most.

>>37171552
hey if anyone who has anxiety doesnt know who alan watts is I highly suggest you look him up and listen to his lectures. he pretty much saved my life and is my hero and the coolest person on earth.

>>37176438
The derealisation would bother me too. It seems like you're not healing. Only like painkillers. They don't cure you, just numb the pain. But maybe that's what you need.

>>37176655
Three degrees heh? Can't say that's common. I'm playing MH Gen right now, so I don't really have the envy to develop a whole post. Maybe later (Maybe later meaning Will do later, as Facet can surely say)

>>37176627
>it's just fanciful self-indulgence really
Isn't that what most supernatural stuff is anyway?

>>37176655
>I love questions.
Do you have any pets?

>>37176428
>But you know, if we met I think you'd maybe realize that im not a very likeable person.

That's a new skill to me. I grew up with demons and thought they were pretty cool people. I only now see how people may not be likeable, and learn to trust my instinct and respect my will.

However, I don't think you're unlikeable. You have defenses that can hurt people, but I'm the sort who will throw himself against your spikes if that can help you not hurt yourself. It's my specialty. And it hurts.

Don't worry about not being liked. I like you and you will be fine.

>>37176514
>At least when you find someone you'll already have all the eggs that you will need to court her.

Is more than two required?

I neglect the aspect of my life that involves socializing because I never learned how to socialize like the other kids in school and although I've made some progress, it's still hard for me. So, often I just decide I don't need to try and I just live in my own internal world. But this summer, since classes at uni have gotten out and I've had more time for myself, I've come to the realization that isolating myself is part of the reason why I feel deeply unhappy.

Even with work, I have lots of free time to just ruminate about myself and the world in ways that don't get me anywhere. When I get out of my internal experience and look around, see co-workers talking, see strangers in public, I realize that I'm not a part of that. And I realize I have to do the work to interact with people as an adult, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to join group conversations. Occasionally I'll make an acquaintance, but I'll fail to make them into a friend because I don't know what somebody would really want to do with me.

Thinking about this, trying to figure it out, just makes me really upset and I stop. I realize nobody cares and it's just my own internal bullshit, but trying to figure out how to socialize makes me feel so insecure while I'm doing it because it makes me think about how I'm not like other people and a normal person wouldn't have to struggle to figure this shit out at my age. So I have to leave the situation, I have to close out of the app, etc. and do something by myself to take my mind off it.

I'm a normal looking guy, I have normal interests that I can connect with people over, so I know a lot of this shit is in my head, but I still wrestle with it. Trying to have a normal social life makes me feel so insecure about where I am I just stop and retreat, and I don't know how to make it any easier. I'm getting to the point where I'd rather try and fail than cower alone.

>>37176655
>I will become a psychology student this summer, though. I'm going to have a full time job and be a full time student at the same time. It'll be tough but it'll be the first time I have an actual professional goal of my own.
I hate you normie.

Normal
thats some normal shit.
fuck you.
you know nothing about mental illness.

:(

I don't know if it's a mental or a physical issue but;
I feel that theres a black whole where my heart used to be, it's an akward feeling, hard to describe too.
As if something is squeezing my heart firmly with occasional pinching sensation.

Is this normal lads?
The doctors took an X-ray and said everything is OK.
Idk lads.
That's all i will ramt about today.

>>37175705
Im glad to see you back

>>37176600

Fucking hell, Loyal, you tell your woman to toe the lines you give her or she is out of your place.

You can find someone who will truly love and respect you. You're not a kind-hearted or gentle person if you subject someone to such horrors, even if that person is you. Would you let your son be treated like this? Would you treat him this way?

No. You have to stand up for this person (you), because if you don't, then you aren't a nice person at all.

The urge to "cheat" is merely the urge to find someone who will love you for real. Don't cheat yourself out of this. Please end this horrible relationship. It's just abuse. Find someone with a heart while you can. Just end your relationship.

Don't betray yourself. You will not be rewarded for it, you will be punished for it even more severely when it ends.

You must protect yourself as though you were someone else. You'd never let anyone suffer the shit you go through, you'd never inflinct it on someone else, so don't treat yourself any differently. You deserve so much more.

Please help me. I have a gf whom I love deeply and I would honestly do anything for. I've already fucked things up with her and she's taken me back twice. The first was I lied about my sexual past. The second was I promised to quit drinking but I lied and continued to. Recently, her ex told her he caught me flirting with my female friend but I did no such thing and she believed me and this isn't the first time he's done this. But last night I had too much to drink and asked the same female friend for an ass pic. Of course she didn't and told me to just go to bed and sleep it off and this morning she told me she wasn't upset because she knew I was drunk. But now I just feel so ashamed and guilty and I feel the need to tell my gf what I did. Do I? And risk everything with this girl or do I keep it to myself and try to forget about it. I feel like if I do the latter i'll eventually feel so bad and just tell her anyways and it will be worse because I kept it from her for so long. What do I do robots

>>37176698
>Three degrees heh? Can't say that's common.

It's a bit less glorious than that. In my country, we have to select 3 subjects to study. For my master's, I chose to end sociology and do more of my English degree, which, concretely, meant studying Medieval English Literature on top of every other English module they had. Chaucer was a badass.

>>37176703
>Do you have any pets?

No. My LO loves cats. If she was here, we'd have a cat, as I no longer see any reason not to have one.

I have a sort of pet. It's a stuffed animal I called Ginger Joe. He's a cat. LO's brother bought it for her when she came to London, 15 years ago. LO left Ginger Joe with me. He sleeps in her side of the bed and never moves anymore.

Back in the day, I used to make him move during silly fights with her. Moments like these have become such powerful torments to me, thinking about them makes me break down. Just not right now, because the ice is thick.

>>37176890
Hey Nick how was the saturday?
>>37171552
Thanks for starting up for us Facet.

>>37176890
Which country? And what is LO?

>>37176786
>I've come to the realization that isolating myself is part of the reason why I feel deeply unhappy.

A valuable lesson. I took me so many fucking years to understand that.

As to interacting with humans: assume they're nicer than you imagine, and nicer than they seem, oftentimes. Also, don't worry so much. And ask questions, humans love questions. They'll speak to you a lot if they sense that you care. A smile and many questions will get you very, very far.

And look at them in the eyes, don't be scared, but don't stare either. Those three things will carry you. I've been through over 4 hours of conversation with just these and a few comments here and there. If people feel like they speak too much, they'll ask you questions.

>>37176786
>but I'll fail to make them into a friend because I don't know what somebody would really want to do with me.

Your greatest enemy is the idea that nobody could possibly want to be in your presence. The truth is they will, just as you would with them. Believe in symmetry. If you want and enjoy spending time with a person, chances are very good that they will too: believe that they do. As in, they really do. It'll be hard to believe at first, but you get used to it. It'll feel wonderful when you can believe in it, though it might remain a manual thought for a while. I still can't quite believe people like me.

cont.

>>37176969
Shit I fucked it up. This is the correct tripfag

>>37176786
>how I'm not like other people and a normal person wouldn't have to struggle to figure this shit out at my age

This may be a strength. For my part, I didn't realise it, but my coworkers, for instance, see me as a mysterious, secretive, thoughtful person. And I never imagined such thoughts would be applied to me. Some even wanted to get into my pants and have my children; again, I never imagined that could be. Being different isn't always a bad thing. You'll stand out, but if you handle your own stuff, this will be a strength.

Also, know that you aren't alone in being different. There are a lot of people whose upbringing made them not whole, and you will be attracted to them, and them to you, like magnets. For better or worse.

>I'm getting to the point where I'd rather try and fail than cower alone.

Excellent. A lot of excellent choices in this post, friend.

As my therapist said to me, "There's something very healthy in you," and that applies to you quite a bit here. You're doing everything you should to get better.

I baptise you Socialiser.

>>37176788
>I hate you normie.

Normies don't have to run out of their classroom as they're teaching because the nausea forces them to have a puking fit in the nearest toilet booth; normies don't faint in supermarkets; normies don't cry 20 times a day; normies don't spend a decade in social isolation just because.

I may have a job and work hard to get out of hell, but that doesn't make me normal.

If you and I are fish, I'm the fish with shoes, trying to breathe out of water, and doing a pretty damn good job of it, but I'm still a fish.

I unfortunately know about mental illnes, for having lived with it for many, many years. Some in myself, much in other people around me.

Recycle your anger, don't let it consume you. I am not your enemy.

>>37176969
No problem, AFH

>>37176792

It may very well be mental, but completely real. Does anything tug at your heart lately?

I need some help.

I don't know why I feel like this, I have friends, I have talents that I can boast and I pretty much love studying. I am also friends with both the alphas and betas (consider me as beta since no gf) but still feel so sad or melancholic. I get drinks with my friends or watch anime with the other yet I can never find myself being so genuinely happy. Help me /r9k/ I want to feel happy.

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Evening, everyone.

How do I make myself care about things, or possibly even stress about them - so I'd get something done?

>>37177293
Tried sitting for a couple of hours just thinking about yourself, your goals, what you desire, without any kind of censorship from yourself?

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>>37176969
>Hey Nick how was the saturday?

I went out and had fun, then went to dinner at a friend's and his wife's. Going to the same cinema I went with LO before broke my heart, however. I also find myself insanely sensitive to anything in a film. I make connections easily, and the slightest emotional scene draws my tears.

>mfw Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 literally made me cry numerous times

>>37177293
Well, people aren't wolves. Alpha/beta dichotomy is so vague, so broad and so general that it can't be applied. So stop thinking in these terms. It will contribute towards your happiness.

Also, you mentioned that you can boast your talents. You specifically mentioned boasting without even mentioning what these talents are. Do you consider boasting to be this important?

My guess is, you have self-esteem issues. Am I wrong? If I'm not, why? Why do you not consider yourself worthy?

>>37176999

Switzerland.

Loved One. My Loved One is gone. I wouldn't feel worse if I had lost my own child, because, in many ways, I took care of her as though she was my child, which is also why our relationship didn't fully work out. 7 years together.

What about MK Ultra/ Monarch programming? I can believe it. Given that speaking from personal experience trauma can lead to dissociative identities there's no reason to suppose that shadowy agencies wouldn't see the pattern and give it a go themselves. Couldn't say how successful it would be but I don't doubt that they'd try it. What does anyone else think?

>>37177293

Find a woman. Humans have evolved to work in teams, and smaller teams of two. Look at your cock, that shit isn't supposed to stay unsheathed in womanhood for longer than a few days. You're social, you'll find someone. Remember, women don't always show obvious signs that they're into you.

>>37177445
You shove someone chock-full of LSD and they go bonkers. I can believe that.

>>37177326
>How do I make myself care about things, or possibly even stress about them - so I'd get something done?

Find another way. Promise yourself a reward for a job done. If you don't do it, you'll take the reward anyway, but you'll feel like shit for it, which will motivate you to do it.

I'd use Kinder Buenous, but that's me. I'd eat them all first, then not do my work and feel like shit for it, and not care. That doesn't work for everyone, but you should try.

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>>37171552
>Be me
>19
>yesterday
>Go on an expedition hitchhike
>after all the walking and tiring tests during the trip we camp next to a huge lake with pine forest around it
>See a girl I was talking earlier during trip: redhead with pale skin just like mine both of us sun-burnt.
>Start hanging out with her and her friends.
>I look at her too much
>She looks at me too much
>Both have wandered outside the camp, walk on the top of hill.
>Something happens
>Autisticcuddle.jpeg
After 3hrs
>Both back at camp
>Hug
>Goodnight anon
>Goodnight anonnete.

Now sitting at my home overthinking everything because I'm a poorfag. Wasted most of my childhood poor so didn't develop any talents and I'm panicking due to overthinking that I will never have things in life that I want a family,house and semi-autistic annonete.

>>37177445

I had never actually considered your case and the MK Ultra stuff. I can't fathom the evil of people who'd try that on purpose.

Not sure there'd be much use in a DID assassin. Considering it's out of control for the most part.

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>>37177488
I've tried it and found my methods similiar to yours
>I'd eat them all first, then not do my work and feel like shit for it, and not care.
Hell, no matter what I do it comes down to the same thing, I give up or stop, fail at what I'm trying to do but still don't care.

>>37177043
>>37177168
Good insight, thanks anon. I feel like looking at /r9k/ and spaces like it year after year, has given me a really negative view of myself and this insecurity. Trying to re-establish a realistic view of myself.

>>37177367
I have, but all it gives is just pipe dreams and false happiness, I don't see the point in stopping but it just feels so fake and unreal for me. I want to experience things that doesn't make me think of tomorrow. I know, pretentious isn't it?

>>37177501

This is the greatest love story I have read in quite a while, made all the better that it's only beginning.

Friend, you call this lady as soon as you can, or contact her somehow. Just let her you know you'd like to see her again.

Don't panic, stay cool, and don't worry. She probably likes you as much as you like her. What could she do that'd make you run away? Not much, uh? Same on her side, so chill.

When someone likes you, it's hard to fuck up. And when someone likes you, and you like them too, the universe literally wants you to get together. So be confident. It's like playing bowling with the little slide they give children. Plus the side fences.

>>37177552
>that doesn't make me think of tomorrow
The only time I achieve that is when I'm drunk.

>>37177403
I have poor physical features. I have the face of a 13 year old going through puberty and a really flabby body, not fat but somewhere around 176 pounds

>>37177463
It's one thing to make someone bonkers but another to not only induce a splinter personality but also having that splinter personality loyal to the experimenters. I suppose if it's considered to be an abuser introject it might work. Can't imagine it being an exact science though. People get messed up in all kinds of outlandish ways all the time. There again, perhaps if you have 100 kids that you can drug, isolate and abuse creatively and one or two become viable agents and the rest are killed or locked up it might be good enough. I suppose it depends just how cruel and determined you believe that a given government can be. I can imagine resources being more of a concern than the human cost.

>>37177523
I'm not saying I'm MK Ultra, just that the basic components have a foundation in my experience and thus it adds up if you're evil enough to give it a whirl. If it could be controlled in the initial instigation - coded in - who knows? That said, as above I'm not sure people can be programmed that reliably so you'd have to be willing to make a lot of wasted children's lives in order to traumatise on 'the right way'.

>>37177543

For the record, I don't consider myself a robot, I don't believe in the concept, and I shit on most terms favoured by people on this board: Stacy, Chad, normie, ree ree fuck my dick, bee bee a piece of shit, Kevin, etc. I'm here to take "robots" back to humanity.

You're on the right path, but you forgot your name.

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>>37177246
Good to have you to rely on Facet.
>>37177381
I'm glad you had a good time. Speaking of tears I almost cried last night. Pic related.

>>37177654
>I'm not saying I'm MK Ultra

I hadn't thought of that either. Same opinion as yours for the rest.

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>>37177654
>Can't imagine it being an exact science though.
The CIA's experiments most certainly weren't. They were tossing psychotropics here and there, having men stare at goats, trying to contact aliens through psyching powers and so on, just to make sure the Soviet Union wasn't one-upping them anywhere.

>>37177247
Nope, not as far as im aware.

>>37177459
I would if I could but I'm seriously too beta to even man up and talk to a girl.

>>37177718
>I would if I could but I'm seriously too beta to even man up and talk to a girl.

You only need to ask her how she is. That's all. If she's interested, on the face of it, she'll take it from there. If she doesn't, that still doesn't mean anything. So relax.

Otherwise just use dating websites.

>>37176853
>Tfw can't even get help from strangers in a thread designed for getting help :(

How do I stop being a pushover to my flatmates bullying?
It's nothing too harsh that can be taken as serious abuse but it is also so frequent it puts me down.
I'm terrible at talking and even worse expressing my thoughts in a timely manner.
Everything I do has been put under scrutiny from the way I walk to the way I drink.
The latest example was getting my pc mouse snatched from me and getting the piss taken out of me for wanting to get it back, 'anon jesus your obsessed with your computer why do you want your mouse back so bad?'
All of this could be pointless complaining and they could be right about everything but I can't help but think I shouldn't have to be so paranoid about everything I do.

>>37177644
Well, I'll start with the body. There is really no need for you to be fat, unless you want to or don't care about being fat. You can change it. Quite easily too. Nick could tell you more, as he is more experienced here. You said you wanted to be happy, getting in shape is a step towards that.

As for having a young-looking face. It's not the end of the world. Not to mention, that facial fat does a lot in this regard. Also, it might seem bad now to look younger than you are, but soon you will be happy for it. Trust me, because I am a guy who always looked older than he was. Sure, I have never been asked for an ID in my life, I've had facial hair since I was 13, but now I'm 25 and look 35. It might seem good to have "mature" looking face, but it's really not that great.

If these things are what is stopping you from being happy, then you're very, very lucky.

https://www.youtube.com/user/crashcourse/playlists

Useful channel. Yes, it's John Green, sometimes it's his brother, and while you may not like either, which is fine, there's still something to be said about that channel.

It's well-produced and could easily start your interest in something, so I recommend it. I watched the entire chemistry playlist 2 years ago, but can't say I learned much from it.

The astronomy one, however, is really neat. And of course, the psychology one should be worthy of your interest, though I didn't get into it yet.

>>37177779

I'm on it. Worry not.

>>37177755
I guess I should try, never thought that's how females work though (I only have so few female friends, kek) Thanks Nick

>>37177755
hey Nicky. posting from my cellphone on a reunion with my family. i wont post further today i guess. wondering if you're still mad with me. anyway, wish you the best

>>37176853

Tell her. "I was drunk and I asked a girl for an ass pic, of course she didn't give me anything; now I feel so guilty and bad for what I did that I need to tell you."

And stop lying and drinking when she's not around.

>>37177804
As of getting in shape, that's the largest hurdle but I think I'll make it through. Thanks for the tip

>>37176853
I doubt you can create a healthy relationship if you hide something.

It's not so much about being in a relationship than being with someone you don't fear that will discover the truth, right?

There should be a way to say it without actually hurting her, doing it to prove you really want a sane relationship by telling her the truth.

>>37177902
I feel like it will fuck things up really badly and it will seem like I was actually flirting the other day
And i'm trying to

>>37177782
>'anon jesus your obsessed with your computer why do you want your mouse back so bad?'

They're playing on the fact that you don't seem sure that you're entitled to have your own damn fucking property.

The only appropriate response here is a dead expression and not responding. Just state, "Give me my mouse back."

Should they refuse, threaten to break some of their shit. Then go get baseball bat and warn a last time, then destroy something. It'll stop being funny very soon.

More generally, you suffer from people-pleaser syndrome and would do well to watch some Richard Grannon videos.

Nick, give me a way to contact you. A throwaway mail or something, so that I can send one. I feel like reaching out for you

>>37177804
>Nick could tell you more, as he is more experienced here.

Meaning I used to run a fitness thread, not that I used to be fat.

>>37177917
I'm just scared desu. I really love this girl and I don't want to lose her :(

>>37177869

I've considered responding to your posts that I didn't respond to last time.

Yes, I am still at odds with you and I still disagree with a lot of the things you said. I'm especially annoyed at how you twist things and try various sneaky things to argue your case.

>>37177999
It's not about possessing a being though. It's about being honest and hoping the other pick the choice you want.

But you can influence their choice by acting toward their interests.

>>37177938

You will obviously keep feeling guilty over it, so tell her. It's an act of trust. You can start by saying you're scared of telling her this because you don't want to lose her, but you'd rather have a transparent relationship than feel guilty in secret.

>>37177947

[email protected]

For you and anyone else who'd like to have access to me outside the thread.

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GENERAL QUESTION

How does it feel, to you, when you love a woman so much that you're certain you want to marry her and spend your life with her?

Describe that. AKA, how do you know it's "the one"?

>>37178009
but i didnt try anything sneaky. i was upfront the whole time. no bad intentions at all either. remember it all started out from a simple obserbation. i still think if you treated a "patient" that had actually suffered abuse in his childhood (like you supposed of me) just out of spite like you did with me that would be bad practice. interested what you think about it. anyways see you on the next thread

>>37178092
It feels like nothing else can hurt you when you're with her and you could trust her with everything. It's like you have another you that you feel genuinely happy with

>>37178092
I can't imagine having a feeling like that. I do not believe in marriage.

>>37177944
Thank you for the response Nick, I get what you mean but I don't think I'm going to threaten messing with their things as I can only imagine it would devolve into a back and forth that wouldn't go anywhere.
I don't know how much this adds but another reason I hesitate to argue back is because they are friends I have known since high school who are in my entire circle of friends.
I will take a look at the videos you have recommended.

>>37178121

The sneaky is present in this very post: you say that you weren't abused, but that if you were, the way I spoke to you would have been unnacceptable, etc. Either you were, or you weren't, you can't have it both ways.

Besides, if you were my patient, you wouldn't be telling me that my asking you questions about your parents is something I do because my own parents sucked. You also failed to understand that a projection involves rejecting the thing about oneself while projecting it on others, which I don't do, since I'm very aware of my own parents.

I still think you're a sneaky person and try all sorts of tricks, whether consciously or not. You did it again in your post.

>>37178128

Well, just for you.

>she could know when I was sad, literally by telepathy, I'm not even kidding; I've also felt the same in turn, but only once

>I could smell her when she wasn't around, in the weirdest places; she could too

How will I ever find someone else where this stuff happens?

Just knowing she existed made me fully happy and complete; it was the same for her. We could stare at each other for hours and it was the greatest thing I had ever done in my whole life.

>>37178200
>you say that you weren't abused, but that if you were, the way I spoke to you would have been unnacceptable, etc. Either you were, or you weren't, you can't have it both ways.
you missed the point: you believed i was abused and you still threated me that way. thats why i say it would be no way to treat a patient. let go of your anger a bit and you'll understand it makes sense

>>37177231
How old are you? Just wondering desu, also are you a virgin?

>>37178200
>You also failed to understand that a projection involves rejecting the thing about oneself while projecting it on others, which I don't do, since I'm very aware of my own parents.
i responded to this in the next to last message: what you are projecting is your lack of closure with your own parents not your past with your parents

>>37176761
>I like you and you will be fine.

I wish so much this was true.

But anyway. Im back.

Hope I didnt miss anything important
Im actually feeling almost good about myself.
Managed to do some studying, went out with friends for a while (suprisingly didnt get drunk)
Yesterday was so horrible that today everything seems sort of.. fine

>>37178200
>you wouldn't be telling me that my asking you questions about your parents is something I do because my own parents sucked
see but this wasnt why i said. i told you about your.declarations.early on. not your questions. you accuse me of being sneaky but yet you change my words at every post. look im tired of posting on the font i will respond next thread

>>37178327
>>37178327
That's why working keeps you afloat.

That's why I kind of work a lot when I'm at uni.

Boys, today is a bad day, my anxiety is going through the roof. I cant even talk properly, my voice trembles and i get cold sweats from nothing, i feel stressed as fuck. I cant even smoke weed to calm down because parents might catch me fuck...

>>37178092
There is no certainty, and that can hold some people back. Anything can happen. But for me, that stops mattering. I become willing to take risks, which is something I never, ever do in any other context. If something goes wrong, I know I'm just going to work to fix it.

You don't really love them in a different way or more than you did before you knew. You just stop questioning, and trust.

>>37178285

>Let go of your anger

Said as you're trying to make me angry. You told me your father touched your cock for 60 seconds, and I DARED imagine you had been molested, so I asked questions about it for quite some time, to be sure I could buy your version, which I did eventually. Now you keep saying I imagined your molestation because of my obsession with my own parents and my own abuse... Sorry but that's fucked.

I can't convince you if you don't want to be convinced, so keep believing whatever the hell you want about me. I know what the truth is in my case.

>>37178293
>How old are you? Just wondering desu, also are you a virgin?

I'm 34. I'm not a virgin.

>>37178240
I've had those telepathic instances with people I've been close to, but only of pain.

>>37178321
>what you are projecting is your lack of closure with your own parents not your past with your parents

If I were projecting a lack of closure, it'd look like a lack of closure on whoever I projected. Can you show that?

Also, how is there a lack of closure with my parents? Explain this.

>>37178365

Accusing me of doing exactly what you do really is the way to annoy me. But you probably do it on purpose.

>>37178371

Can your breathe with your diaphragm? If not, watch some yoopoops about it and try for a few minutes. See what happens.

>>37178392
>There is no certainty,

Sounds like you were never in love, maybe.

>>37178418
>I've had those telepathic instances with people I've been close to, but only of pain.

How so?

Come to think of it, I felt her sadness, never her happiness, for all I know.

>>37178414
Normie get out reee
ect

To answer your question, I can't really help. Also, sent a mail.

>>37178508
That would be sad. It would mean I'm not capable of love, and that love isn't something you can to some extent choose to do. It would just be something you have no power over.

Banana.

That was not original. Good thing I'm down to 2 seconds of punishment, I had reached 32 seconds at some point.

>>37178520
I believe that I've felt someone's pain remotely when I abandoned them. For months and years afterwards in fact.

>>37178567
>It would just be something you have no power over.

Definitely that for everyone. You only need to find the right person.

>>37178596

Maybe that was just empathy, Facman.

What I describe happened for less than a minute, and it was clearly not normal. It's the sort of thing some people say they suddenly feel when a relative or a best friend dies, except she was just sad.

I'm 5'7-5'8 but live in Scandinavia.

I have good times with my friends but I isolate myself a lot with regards to girls.

A few have really liked my, but I tend to pull away either because I don't like the girl or because I just don't feel good enough for them.

Pretty sure it is some form of anxiety mixed up with height dysmorphia. Had some catastrophical experiences growing up with regards to girls due to my height.

Is it worth talking to a psychologist or is it just a meme to rip you off

>>37178629
>Is it worth talking to a psychologist or is it just a meme to rip you off

Always worth it. Find a good one.

Short men can do fine. Don't worry too much.

>>37178599
Ehh. Sounds just very unpleasant and dangerous, I would definitely not want that. Makes the whole divorce thing seem hopeless too.

>>37178679

Love can hurt.

https://youtu.be/AtWudb1EjKU

Have some uplifting music.

>>37178619
Nah, it wasn't empathy. It was just an unbidden feeling, from someone far away. It seemed like psychic pain, but whatever.

>>37178773

Keep describing it.

>>37178629
You can probably get a psychologist for free outside the administrative fee, unless you're Danish upon which it'll be completley free. Nothing to lose.

>>37178721
It's not the hurting. I find the whole idea of not choosing to love the person I love undesirable. Like, it invalidates the concept of love for me. If it's completely involuntary, it's worthless to receive and harmful to the giver.

>>37171552
I'm insecure because i fail at everything i try at, the best example i can think of how i am is this

https://youtu.be/0ujoXRAZU3g

i can't develop skills, i just try to function on instinct like an animal without learning. for me my instinct would overpower my logical thinking and i would just pull my hand out

>>37178825

Well, if that's any reassurance, love grows. The greatest love I've known wasn't instant. It came about as we learned to know each other. There's a will in that.

We're not robots.

>>37178827
What have you tried? What skills have you tried to develop? And what effort have you put into these attempts?

im back

this weekend has not been good to me.
i've been feeling increasingly isolated, and realizing just how isolated i really am. it feels like im trapped, stuck in some sort of loop.
my summer vacation is coming up in a couple of weeks and im dreading for it, it will be 4 weeks i will have to find something to do.
yoga is canceled since it's summer aswell.

any of you guys have tips on how to meet new people during summer?

>>37178827

Won't play in my country. Saw the movie years ago, and I mean 1993.

I was 11 and I remember watching Dune because I had puke attacks back then. I remember covering the sink with chocolate vomit, feeling like a weirdo, because I wasn't sick, not physically. I stayed "sick" for six months. Atrocious times. Those times are back, but I'm armed now.

Why is Facman so quiet? Are you drinking?

>>37178907
>any of you guys have tips on how to meet new people during summer?

Glocals?

Dating apps, join a club, see events, meet friends of your friends.

>>37178910
Nah, I'm not drinking. Just not feeling too good tbqhwy

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Tried one of the tests Nick posted.

Never again

>>37178092
Oh man here goes, I'll try my best Nick.
When you are with her, everything is simply better. Just sitting together within arms reach, not even touching or looking at each other feels better than all of your hobbies combined. Injuries hurt less, and the constant pain inside is dulled. Bad things that happen aren't quite as bad, and all of the happy things feel amplified tenfold. You can feel when she's in the room, before you ever see or smell her. Your heart expands and overflows with positivity and love for this person, and even the annoying things they do cannot dampen your spirits when you're together. You feel complete, like a part of you that you didn't know was missing until now is now with you. The "one" is someone you trust before you even know why, you spill secrets to her that you hadn't trusted even your best friends and family with. Such as holding a gun to your head. And they want to be around you regardless.

>>37178983
>Nah, I'm not drinking. Just not feeling too good tbqhwy

I'm in your room.

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>>37179006
Tell me about it ...

Some questions shouldn't be asked I guess.

>>37179006

Take it seriously. It's good, though, it means you're dealing with a very severe condition, which should make you feel better, as it explains how you feel and lets you know your normal state is something completely different, and life is great.

>>37179015
Is it really this intense, or are you just exaggerating for poetic effect? Not being snarky, genuinely curious.

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>>37179006
That's pretty bad, yeah.

I've gotten worse.

>>37178865
video games, i tried being the "tank" in overwatch but i fuck up constantly and panic.

in wrestling when i was a kid my mind would go blank sometimes and just try to muscle my way through problems and get caught in traps.

>>37178910
>but I'm armed now.
so you're scared you might shoot yourself? not really sure what to tell you other than hang in there man we all have those times.

>>37179061
Ignorance is bliss

(and not original)

>>37178664
>Don't worry too much.

That's the problem.

I am a really competitive person. Normally when I have a disadvantedge, like not being strong, I will hit the gym until I get there. If I'm not smart enough for an exam, I will hit the library and study then ace it.

I always want to improve, but with height there's nothing to do. Just accept I am inferior.

I feel like I want to make the girl I really like proud and happy but that I will only embarass her because I'm short...

>>37178822
Am Danish but I don't want the State to have records of these insecurities

>>37179015

This is great.

Then I consider the fact that you probably applied this to two women who betrayed you and I wonder.

I hope to feel this again some day.

>>37179040
I don't get it. But in any case, I've been getting headaches that came on all of a sudden. Not hangover stuff, it just kicked in this evening. Odd, unpleasant sensations and so on. Some spasming and twitching. Suboptimal. It started while I was watching a documentary about this and that and it went into some detail about the angel. So I'm pretty sure this psychosomatic.

>>37178962
never heard of glocals, checking it out.

dating apps is my plan b, i dont think i'll be able to manage a good relationship as things are now. i'd be trying to make the girl fill both a social void and a lovers void in me.
then again, i feel like im not sure about anything right now

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>>37179061

For comparison. You know.

>>37179131
Give it a whirl. See where you land.

http://www.celebritytypes.com/dark-triad/test.php

>>37179090
>Is it really this intense,

It is, and much more. Words fail me to describe what I felt.

I used to look for God, and when I found her, it was just as if I found God in human form. Absolutely all the bliss in the universe was there. Looking into her eyes was the best feeling I had ever known. I'd sooner stare into her eyes for an hour than orgasm for 4 weeks in a row.

>>37179090
How it was for me. I would literally(hate how abused this word is nowadays) have taken a bullet for her. I would have done anything. Anything but share her with another...
>>37179137
This only applied to the last one. The first one I didn't yet know the difference between love and lust. What do you wonder?

>>37179130
>so you're scared you might shoot yourself?

No, I'm armed against the darkness. And I know what I'm dealing with, C-PTSD and Borderliney issues.

>>37179133

Find a short girl.

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>>37179125
kek I was a special kid

>>37179244
My oneitis is 5'5

>>37179130
Aren't you by any chance giving up too soon? Things take practice and getting used to. From these two cases you think that you can't acquire skills?

>>37178962
also is there a way to set glocals to not switzerland?

>>37179232

In the words of Aerosmith, first name Aero, family name Smith, "Love is like the right dress on the wrong girl."

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>>37179268
Shit mate, you're depressed. Do you do anything constructive? Excercise? Work? Socialize?

>>37179277
>My oneitis is 5'5

OK, not that small. Were you ever together?

>>37179232
>>37179232
I know about Nick's issues, but how did you feel after you broke up with her, Fucking Hero?

>>37179301
>also is there a way to set glocals to not switzerland?

I have no clue. It's what expats use here.

Facman are you awake? I'm in your room! Get your ass and your crew in there.

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>>37179360
You better not be stealing my wifi you faggot

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>>37179318
I answered with what I used to undergo. With what I'm going through now, I scored pic related.

I do. Found a work, keep working on my future carreer, the problem just changed and multiplied.

But now I can understand why I'm in this current state more.

>>37179390

Incidentally, I've read every Hellboy in existence, I think. Very handsome volumes, though I only like Mignola's artwork in them.

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I want a shota bf. I want a son. I want a son so so so bad. I'll get one when the time is right. I'll adopt a cute one. I'll get one if it is the last thing I fucking do.

I'm a fembot. :>

Nick, validate the fact you received a mail from someone that may be sending this message to your right now

>>37179441
This kid can't squat for shit. Off in the gaz chamber.

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>>37179200
Well.
Now im a psychopath too.
But honestly half of those questions were so weird I had no idea what to pick.So who knows.

>>37179415
I've read a fair few comics but never much Hellboy. I've read a lot of 2000AD/ Dredd, Marvel and some DC.

>>37179441

What's shota again?

I'm not sure that's a healthy way to want a child.

>>37179442

I did, you weren't paying attention.

>>37178582

>>37179287
probably but i can't stop doing things mindlessly, i don't have the self control. even driving i had a lot of trouble learning and i was getting yelled at for it, i have trouble learning and since i'm ugly and uncharismatic nobody will put up with it and help me. it just hurts

>>37179238
that's good then, it wont be easy but i'm sure that even if this happens again you'll find it easier every time. that means that it can only get better, maybe

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>>37179412
Well that looks a lot better. Good to hear things are going somewhere for you.

>>37179466
>Off in

Off to, because there is movement, so you use "to", not "in" which would suggest he's already in the gas chamber.

And it's "gas". I teach English to francophones, so I know all the mistakes they usually make.

>>37179471
Of course not. I am a pefophile.

>>37179330
We went to prom twice together including senior year of highschool

We saw each other everyday in classes as teenagers and parties / travels.

It is one of those weird ones where we never kissed but there is just a really deep connection.

Anyway I just really want to ask her out again, its been a few years since we last saw each other, but I just don't feel good enough with my current height.

Seriously considering doing limb lengthening surgery to add 5 cm (2 inches), but it is really costly and can fuck you up for good.

Being able to make her proud of being with me would mean everything to me

>>37179467

You can trust this test. We've tested it thoroughly.

It works.

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>>37179467
Eh, you're just a slight variation of normal.

>>37179490
I just traded a bunch of depression for something harder to fix :^)

>>37179515
Thanks, wasn't really paying attention though

>>37179468

Dredd is the only other comic I've read to any serious degree. Started chronologically. May never return because I used to read Dredd when I was happy. Reading in bed while LO was playing on her laptop by my side.

She'd lean against the wall, and our legs would touch.

All the little things come back to haunt you. If we had parted hating each other, it'd be different, but we parted when she still loved me and she still meant the world to me.

>>37179552
>I just traded a bunch of depression for something harder to fix :^)
If you've got will to live, something to actually live or work for, then I'd say it's far better than being seriously depressed.

>>37171552
How do I deal with being an ugly subhuman who will never find love? It's killing me inside. I get more and more suicidal with each day.

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Reminder that you must be AT LEAST 25% darker than average in order to join the Brotherhood of Edge.

>>37179303
The problem is I still love her. Last time I was around her my heart still reacted the same. But the hurt, rage, and betrayal also showed up and quickly those feelings warred over my heart. I was unable to even look at her.
>>37179341
Like everything was over. Her betrayal took away my purpose in life, right when I needed her there to help me hold myself together after I'd not saved him. I'd lost my path, faith in myself, and my entire future all in the span of a few months.

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>>37179200
>tfw destined to end normies

>>37179557
Do you still love her? You should move on she surely did

>>37179557
W-w-w-w-w--w-wait.

It wasn't a breakup?

>>37179577
It's still there, but under the layer of the rest of the "new" problems. I'm busy trashing back life for what I went through, so that's still that

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How do I stop procrastinating? I've got a biochem test in approximately 10 hours and I need the credits to pass the elective, but I can't stop browsing /r9k/ and drinking myself to nirvana

>>37179487
>i was getting yelled at for it,

That's not right. Who the fuck yells at you for that?

>>37179578
Think of it this way, if your dad/mom was able to find a partner and have a baby, you are good enough to find someone to love. Also small everyday activities can help, going for walks, doodling, listening to music, learning an instrument etc

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>>37179517

Textless post is textlesss.

>>37179521

Just buy compensated shoes.

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>>37179200
wew. Guess I'm not okay.

>>37179648
My dad was a Chad, don't know how my genes ended up being so shit. Not to mention things have changed a lot since back then.

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>>37179467
This test is hilarious. I love how my narcissist score is only about half of the norm-group. Shows how fucking delusional people are about themselves.

>>37179678
That's nothing. You're not even proper edgy like Facet >>37179593

>>37179678
Identify yourself. Your application has been processed. You must decide on a gimmick, gear and then charge the cost to Nick's credit card.

>>37179593

Goddam... You are the darkest of the Dark Lords.

And having heard your recent vocaroo, I must say my reaction is still one of fear. There's something frightening and lurking in your voice; I always get this impression. Like a soothed danger, but danger nonetheless.

>>37179527
I dont even understand what it told me really

Am I supposed to be worried or is it or what.
This thing gives me more questions than answers

>>37179688
If your narcissism is above the average you are a normie.
No robot likes themselves enough to think they deserve anything

>>37178092
Ive known her for 11 years and I still get butterflies in my stomach coming home after a day of work. The thing I most look forward to all the time is when we will next have time together. If she ever dies I will kill myself. She knows me better than I know myself. I hate everyone in this world, but I see nothing but an angel when I look at her.

>>37178240
I dont understand how anything could have ended that. I dont understand how youre still alive now. If something happened to make me actually want to live without my wife, I would probably kill her and then myself. We would try again in the next life. There is nothing without her.

She is the only reason Im here.

I asked for art help
I believe this is an improvement

>>37179719
It's telling you that you're slightly "darker" than the average, i.e. just standard deviation. Nothing wrong with you on that account.

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>>37179606
>Like everything was over. Her betrayal took away my purpose in life, right when I needed her there to help me hold myself together after I'd not saved him. I'd lost my path, faith in myself, and my entire future all in the span of a few months.

This is what I did to LO. In the span of a few seconds, I destroyed 7 years of union, our future family, our children who will never be born, her career, which she'll never have now. She now knows a whole language she won't use.

My place in hell is reserved.

>>37179730
I'm pretty sure that average robot doesnt like himself but also hates everyone else enough to feel superior

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>>37179200
How did i do? Never heard of machiavelism until today

>>37179611
>Do you still love her?

I loved her in a way that doesn't die. There is no moving on. You don't move on from loving your own child, or something you did your best for.

I don't think she has moved on.

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>>37179632
it's just the way things are, i'm total trash but hopefully someday i'll gain enough skills to become something that resembles an adult

and then i'll get revenge on everyone by living a happy life without having to prove anything to them and hopefully i'll find true love

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>>37171552
I'm not that bad right ?

I mean some of those are high but I have no 100 so it's ok.

>>37179797
How come you're so manipulative?

>>37179612
>It wasn't a breakup?

We never officially said it was, but we're not together anymore, we're not engaged anymore, and there's no plan for her to come back.

It was all too painful.

>>37179718
Well, that's a shame. I know at least one person found comfort in it.

>>37179797
>24.83%
So close. I'm going to have to reject your application this time but feel free to reapply once your spirit has darkened a fraction more.

>>37179686
Doing to the gym can help dude, even the slightest evidence of muscle gainz can seem like an enormous improvement

>>37179817
Well at least she's still alive. I thought it could be the contrary.

>>37179794
The feel I get is that I could be great but that I keep fucking myself up over and over again.

https://youtu.be/oKD-MVfC9Ag?t=10m10s

Music to pop skulls with.

>>37179686

Don't blames your genes. Eat well, count your calories, work out. Go SS.

>>37179688
>Shows how fucking delusional people are about themselves.

More like they have an actual conscience of there being others who compute them, while you don't. Healthy narcissism exists, it's necessary to be normal, it's not all NPD.

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>>37179873
>SS
Isn't that more
>>37179441
this anon's thing?

>>37179775
All I can tell you is she will never forgive you. And if she felt true love for you it is still there. Pure love cannot die. But it will forever be tainted and corrupted by the pain, betrayal, and feelings of inadequacy. I wish I could comfort you and tell you differently, but I've been seperated as long as you and her Nick, those feelings don't die. Or at least haven't yet.
>>37179800
This is truest love.

>>37179719

Read on:

- machiavellianism
- psychopathy (lack of emotions and empathy)
- narcissism (considering yourself better than others when, deep down, you feel inferior)

>>37179833
It was actually at 25.xx% but it crashed when i toom a screenshot and i had to retake the last 4 questions, but i already answered them? Idk, i blame technology kek

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>>37179903
>>SS
Goddamn it, Carlos.