What bothers you the most about yourself anon? Tfw constant brainfog.

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>>37159274
I've similar brain fog or just the lack of emotional response to stimuli, to my misfortune. So I'm limited in range of expression beyond being very stoic.

>>37159306
I have no solution to your problem but i like the image you posted.

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>>37159349
Oh, quite alright. I wasn't seeking guidance. Merely sharing. It's nice to do so at times.

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>>37159274
It's difficult for me to motivate myself.
I was always seeking external appreciation of what I'm doing, and I'm having difficulties with even starting a task if no one says I'm a good guy and I can make it.
For decades, I dreamt about my mom smiling at me and telling me I'm a good son whom she loves the most. This isn't feasible right now, because everyone I knew, including her, is now dead, and I'm on my own in my 20's.
The depression longing for three years already makes it worse.
I have a guy I'm sending memes to, and a waifu, which appears to be my feminine self, more or less. I'll develop the latter.
This is the inspiration poster I made for myself a week ago. Somehow, it works, even with shitty design.
I hope my first visit to a psychiatrist this Monday will make things lighter.

>>37159396
Yea i made this thread to just see other anons share. So thanks for that.

>>37159525
Oh, hell. I forgot to remove the name I'm using for the psychological help thread to ease the navigation for that guy. Sorry.

Bipolar disorder type 2 and the hypersexuality that comes with hypomanic states. Not because I've ever done anything bad but I have friction burns from doing stuff and it sucks

>>37159548
We all make mistakes anon. I hope you will be happy.

Only two things:
-my looks
-my personality

>>37159274
That I will die a virgin because I have an irredeemably ugly face that no amount of lifting or looksmaxing will ever make up for.

>>37159274
Autisticly obsessive, can't pick up a hobby without making it an obsession. My theory is that I'm probably brain damaged from loneliness.

My anxiety

Not even my horrible looks, they wouldn't matter if I could just properly talk to people

>>37159274
Everlasting summer was a decent VN for being made by Russian weebs without a proper English speaker editing the translation for them

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>>37159274
depersonalization, intrusive thoughts (anxiety paranoia) that i can't control, they just come when i'm in social situations so that i can't relax. when i'm alone i just feel blank minded.

Anxiety

It feels like I have no control over my life because if the anxiety part of my brain decides it wants to yank the chain then any power I had disappears and is replaced with that sheer terror, like if I don't get the fuck out of where I am literally nothing worse in the world could happen. Its the source of so much of my self-loathing.

Being tall but really skinny is a contender for second.

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>>37159627
I got 1110 hours on it now. It has turned into a bit of an obsession since the story line is exactly what i want. A loser getting a golden chance. Plus the mods are better than the fucking main game. Samantha best girl.

I talk to myself in my mind whenever I'm awake. Like I'll be talking to someone and I'm constantly looking at their body language, the way they react, changes in their voice. Like "what did that movement just mean? From that reaction, looks like he's thinking this. He said this, but looks like he's thinking that".
Sometimes I will be fully immersed in my mind, mid-conversation and then snap out of it and be like "wait what we're you saying?"

When I'm alone I'm always contemplating aspects of my life to the tiniest detail. Always thinking about past experiences and situations, trying to link causes to those situations, how those situations affected me. Who was there, what influence did they have on me and the situation, what did I learn from that?...

This goes on and on 24/7, I try to think about something else, but I find myself drifting back to the same thought processes.
Some days it drives me insane

>>37159987
Sounds a lot like me desu

Though I'm worried it could drive us into some schizophrenia madness or something

>>37159978
110 hours fuck me. Not that anyone cares though it is an irrelevant mistake

>>37159306

I kinda know this feel. When I'm out with friends, I feel like I'm just reacting and making automatic responses to small remarks that I should ask more about, especially when I know that friend is going through a hard time. It only ever sinks in when I've left and am alone, and then I think of all the "signs" I should have seen and talked about. I feel like I don't feel enough when I'm with friends who share things that are important to them, like I'm this pool of thick sludge while other people are clear, running water. I do love that my friends share their troubles and deep thoughts with me. There's nothing I love discussing more, and it feels so good to know I'm trusted so much. But I'm really afraid that maybe one day, people will find that I'm boring, uninteresting or provide nothing valuable in a conversation, then leave me.

covered in acne, pectus excavatum, hemorrhoids.
not big problems but they're usually what i think about that makes me depressed.

>>37160056
The difference between 1110 hours and 110 hours in a relatively short VN isn't an irrelevant difference. But that's still a lot. Have you tried other VNs with a similar theme? I've been enjoying cross channel recently.

>>37160162
I realize there are probably a lot of others out there but i just do not want to let go of ev yet. It is a bit too perfect. Especially the samantha mod. And i still have most good mods to go. Eventually i will try others of course.

>>37159274
>What bothers you the most about yourself anon?

That im consistently screwing things over for myself.
I had a chance at a qt gf and did nothing about it.
I'm still the same after 10 years.
I have no friends.
I'm still a virgin at 22.
I want to die but don't have the courage to do it.

>>37160216
Could you tell me about your chance with the qt? I am curious.

>>37159274
Lack of willpower. I have a million things I should be doing and know need to get done, but fuck it, let's look at porno and play some vidya instead.

That I'm such a nonentity that I might as well be an empty vessel for assholes to use to get what they want done and then thrown away without a care

Also that I'll never change

not good at expressing self
often miss interpet what people say
I did have a brain fog problem but cut back on sugar and that seems to help

>>37159274
I can't trust my own emotions and I don't know wether I am imagining things or if things are actually the way I think they are or if I am imagining that I am imagining them. I never take the chance to get with a girl and I feel bad about things I did 4-5 years ago. Shit's fucked yo

>>37159274

what's your diet like? medications? do you exercise at all? it's something you can generally fix, and depending on what's triggering it there might be a really easy/quick fix

>>37160292

i wish i could only feel bad about things i did 4-5 years ago

try 20 years of things you feel bad about but nobody else would ever remember

>>37159274
Extremely intimidated by groups of people. I always hated taking in class because people would turn and look at me and I'd fumble my words. My heart would start pounding. So I closed myself off and subsqueantly became perceived as somewhat of an asshole

>>37160233
Last year we were in the same uni class and good friends.
Most times i catch her looking at me, she always tries to sit next to me.
She was dating one of the other people in the class for a little while and she left him for me but i still didn't ask her out. Mainly because i didn't know how to and i didn't want to loose one of my only friends.

Before Christmas last year she got a BF, i was going to see if she wanted to do someone new years.
This year were in the same class, pretty much everyone from last year has left. She tells me pretty often that i'm the only one she likes in class despite her talking to a lot of people.
We talk and go to lunch together everyday.
One time she let me drink out of her water bottle.
She still keeps looking at me when she can, she doesn't say anything but just smiles and does a 'half laugh'. When she is talking about her boyfriend she uses his name, i have never met him and i dont want to. When she talks about him with other people she refers to him as boyfriend.
She always makes sure that she says good bye to me at the end of everyday.

I'm probably looking in to it too much. But i was i was dating her so fucking much, i have liked her the second she sat next to me and smiled the first class we had last year.

Sorry if that doesn't make any sense, I'm bad at writing.

im just always lost idk what to do with myself so im generally on here
live with my parents 28 I will never amount to anything I feel a drive to do something but my reflective self worth is 0 so I apply at shit jobs

>>37159274
i have no self esteem

I can never seem to put the "right" image with my threads, a catchy image thats related and draws posters

I hate that

Morbid obesity.

The part that bothers me is that I could fix it anytime I wanted and that it's my fault. I'm an autistic loser but that's something out of my control.

I did a lot of drugs a few years ago and had the most incredible experiences of my life. Now I think my brain is damaged and I can't feel things like I used to. A lot of my hobbies I think are born out of a place of shame and compensation. Like I make myself read a lot, though I don't always get what is being said.

My working memory is so bad I can't do a lot of things in my head like math or prepare phrases to say to people. When I'm around groups of people I feel so strange. I'm 6'4" so I have to look down at people and I have really anxious body language so everyone is put off by my creepy vibes. No one looks at me when I talk except close friends. Most people interrupt me or just walk away in the middle of me getting a point across. I haven't had a new relationship since my druggy days.

I mostly terrified that I have irrevocably ruined my life for a few months of delirious happiness.

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I had such good opportunities. It could have been so much better if I hadn't completely fucked everything up.

>>37160029
Yeah I worry it might turn into paranoia or some shit one day

i wish i can bring my emotions back to the year 2012. i feel better about myself now.

the hospital i stayed at didn't believe about the rape. they didn't even give me therapy when i asked for it.

>>37160522

what kind of drugs?

originoli

Well, the usual I guess you could say. I'm ugly with no other redeeming features.

Of course, there are some people who say otherwise, which brings me to another thing. I can't take a compliment because I never believe whoever is giving it. Maybe because I rarely get praised for anything. Bonus points if it's from an attractive girl, considering that the amount of girls that have actually been attracted to me can be counted on one hand.

>>37159274
hallucinations
sometimes when the voices talk to me it's hard to ground my self and not react/respond to them, but most of the time I can understand that they're not real
hooded figures that I see at night are more rare but I'm beginning to wonder if they're trying to guide me somewhere

>>37159714

>depersonalization

Is that like you start overthinking your personality so much, you end up losing track of what's the real you?

>shyness
>easily getting lost when it comes to performing a task for others
>slow performance
>dumb when it comes to math and time
>dumb when it comes to quickly making the best decisions
>thinking for myself
>making dumb decisions when in panic mode
>not realizing how badly I fucked up until I fucked up

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I don't like doing anything.

I will never be able to succeed in school, have a career, or be able to form interpersonal relationships because I'm so lazy and directionless and boring.

I feel like a fucking corpse.

>>37161162
Not that anon
but I have time when I forget my personality and what used to make me happy and have to build myself back up idk im fucked

>>37161192

*not knowing how to think for myself

I have trouble doing things unless someone tells me how to do it step by step.

My life is ruled by irrational fear.

that i was on track to being a normie and in hindsight i can pinpoint the EXACT moment i switched lanes.

I have a colostomy bag.

If you think you have it bad, have a literal bag of shit attached to you until the day you die.

No girl wants to be with a guy like me.

>>37159274
I'm a procrastinator and lack organizational skills.

I cant drive anything with a clutch

ive tried drivibg a five speed car and would always make it shut off when starting out

i always really wanted to drive an 18 wheeler but i know that will never happen since im shit at manual cars

>>37159274
Tfw social interraction is impossible because you're too busy thinking about how fucking good your friend looks in that sweater.

>life ruled by validated fear
>know that my entire life situation is my fault
>there's not an interesting person hiding inside me
>ugly inside and out

>>37161202
Me too anon ive never accomplished anything I just want to stay in my bed watching weeb shit and listen to music

I don't have any freinds and converse with no one irl because im an uninteresting faggot with nothing to say

People may think im sad or lonely but I really don't care

>>37160345
Not OP, but I have really bad brain fog that's been 24/7 for several years now. my diet is usually an apple and banana a day, bran cereal for breakfast sometimes with a cream-cheese bagel. sandwich for lunch, with either hummus+carrots, celery+peanut butter, or almonds. i have an afternoon snack of cheese and triscuits, and then i usually eat out for dinner. I recently started taking allergy meds, but no meds beside that. i exercise every other day, sometimes every day if I have extra time. i've tried so many things to fix it but i can't get my mind clear or crisp like it used to be

i think i have been developing MS (swallowing food is a chore) but I don't feel like telling the doctor or getting tested

>>37161202

>want to work
>too stupid for most entry level jobs
>nothing of value to put on resume
>too socially inept for interviews
>can't bring myself to play videogames or watch anime because feel guilty about not having a job I'm good at

>>37161366
that would be scarey
how old are you?
could be a diet issue

>>37161414
30
it's been like this since december

I don't enjoy doing anything
I don't enjoy my job
I don't enjoy speaking to my family
I don't enjoy socializing, or spending time alone
I don't enjoy reading, or exercising
I don't enjoy any new hobby I try to start
When I think of the next sixty years being filled with the same dullness I honestly want to kill myself

>>37161445
do you have any other issues like shakiness or weak legs

That I'm a quitter

>>37161350

i know it sounds like new-agey shit, but you might want to cut out all the gluten from your diet. something like 10% of the population has a gluten sensitivity or (more seriously) celiac's disease, and it causes things like brain fog and depression and anxiety

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>>37161629
I got tested for celiac disease last year, the doctor said it seemed I didn't have any problems there

>>37161684

huh. what about sleep? and how old are you? are you depressed and anxious at all without there being any apparent psychological cause?

>>37161774
I'm 21. I have sleep apnea, and I thought getting that attended to would help, but I got a CPAP and it doesn't fix anything.
>are you depressed and anxious at all without there being any apparent psychological cause?
I guess you could say that

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>>37159274
My lack of motivation to improve and my curved spine. I just sit here all day and my spine keeps getting worse as time goes on. Seems like my fate will be dying as a NEET due to my entire skeleton deforming while sitting in this chair.

Paranoia created by /pol/.
I visited there too much and now I'm convinced my windows are fake and I am being observed.

>>37161839

how long would you say this has been going on? maybe you're in a psychological slump and are mildly depressed and it's causing the fog (episodes of depression last on average 6 months). or else you could examine toxin exposure in your environment (cleaners, offgases from poorly maintained appliances), as some toxins can cause brain fog. I've basically run out on my limited knowledge on this stuff, though

>>37162041
It's been about 3.5 years now. I'm definitely more than mildly depressed, diagnosed with depression and anxiety and shit, but my depression has lasted since puberty. About 7 years, I guess. I've moved a few times since this fog started so I don't think it's an environmental thing.

Thanks for your help, friend. I think I'm just stuck this way forever

>feel bad about my life, but can't relate to /r9k/ because not mentally ill and have no medical conditions

>>37162087

well, at least know that a lot of mental health problems diagnosed in your teens subside in your mid-twenties, and if you've been formally diagnosed with anxiety/depression i know that that alone can cause brain fog. i hope the best for you, good luck

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My inability to say the right things in social situations all the time.
>make a clever comment once
>girl genuinely laughs
>now I'm self conscious of it and want to make her laugh again
>try again
>joke sounds forced/stupid/didn't hear me
or
>girl says something playful
>thrown off by her sudden remark
>scramble to say something funny/interesting back to keep the flow
>vomit out something wholly cringey

Both of these things happened to me today when working with my cute coworker. She definitely sees me as someone with whom she can joke around with but I fear that these types of social fuckups make me part of the untermensch that she'll never touch. I wouldn't say I'm a complete social dummy either, which probably makes this situation worse.

I just want to come off as charming so that my subpar physical attractiveness is mitigated.

>>37161895
>My lack of motivation to improve and my curved spine.

I'm at 16 thoracic and 30 lumbar. What are you at?

>>37161259
fuck i hate this feel
i think were actually worse off than those who never had a chance

>>37159274

my mental inability to process mundane subjects and make simple decisions like normal people do

it's difficult to describe but it's basically like an extreme manifestation of OCD i guess, i always feel like i have a checklist in my head of basic decisions/tasks (e.g. which phone to purchase, which operating system to use, which hobby to pursue), and i feel like as soon as i finish the checklist i'll be able to relax, but the checklist never ends. like i solve three problems, try to relax, and a new problem comes my way and causes me extreme distress and anxiety and I can never just live in the moment and do what I want. I am ALWAYS thinking about something rather than just doing what I want to do. it's an intense feeling that isn't easy to elucidate.

i once spent 2 weeks in bed because i couldn't choose which smartphone to buy. it's not even an important decision to me but my brain incessantly over-analyzes the quality of my choices and it fucking fries my mind. i'm destroying my brain over and over in a series of "thought loops", thought loops about nonsensical shit, not "tfw no gf", not "how can i find a job", nothing like that, just arbitrary tiny problems like "what should I eat today?" or "should I use a laptop or a desktop?"

this problem might sound rather tame on paper but it's sent me down a spiral of frantic anxiety and has removed my ability to relax completely. I just want it to fucking end. This is ALL I fucking think about. I just want to live in the present moment like I used to. It's also sparked derealization in me which is probably not healthy but has actually helped my social anxiety to a degree, so there's a positive.

>>37161259

what was that moment?

I'm terrible at starting things. Once I get going, I pick up momentum, and am often much quicker than I'd thought I'd be. But if that momentum goes away, and I have to start again some time later, it's just the same as starting again, even if I don't literally have to start again. Doesn't help that I have ADD, and things like 4chan and mobage easily distract me for hours and hours. Some stories to demonstrate:
>just graduated uni
>having a hard time getting a job in my field, despite supposed shortage of qualified people
>got another certification in a very related thing, just in case I might need it someday, though I think I might actually hate doing it
>call mom for mother's day
>say I'll start applying for other thing, can't hurt at least
>one week later haven't even started

>have some essay or paper due in whatever class
>hate writing, even though better than most
>don't start until literally can't procrastinate any further
>get it done in record time
>could have had it done long ago and not had the stress of the assignment hovering over me

>Excel Saga is favorite mango
>read up through v.23 at some point
>years later series and translations finish, get the rest
>still haven't finished

>>37159274
My past. That's basically it. Most of my demons were tamed somewhat but the past keeps resurrecting them, and the past only was what it was because of them.

If the past disappeared I could focus on the things that matter to me.

Also my addictions, too. They're sort of a coping mechanism but they don't really help.

>>37159274
I'm turning into an alcoholic and I hate it but I love alcohol so much. It makes me feel not like shit.

>>37159274
I have no friends when I clearly have a lot to offer people.

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>>37159274
>tfw I don't know how to socialize
>tfw I can't make friends anymore
>tfw I'm losing the few friends I made in high school

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Overactive mind.
I can never stop thinking and it causes me to have insomnia and depression