Psychological Support General

Thanks for starting this. I have nothing of interest to contribute, but Im up for chatting if anyone else is feeling down.

>>37154739
Very nice of you to start the thread, Facet.

>>37154831
How have you been dealing with the urges lately?

You faggots haven't all killed yourselves yet? Darn.

Going to therapy for depression and anxiety for the first time, is there anything I should know before going?

Any topic I should focus on, other than the main shit that is plauging me? How long do the sessions take?

>>37154739
Sweet, we need more threads like this, people here are extremely easy to bully.

>>37154879
Just speak from your heart and be honest. You'll probably be prescribed SSRIs no matter what you say

>>37154857
>>37154831
No problem. I'm glad to facilitate. I hope Nick does come around but if not, we will pick up the flack in his stead. Major deja vu all of a sudden

>>37154879
The main shit is an excellent place to start. Try to bring up the most currently pertinent issues, and also the things that have been bothering you over a longer span of time.

>>37154875
How long would your elation last if we did?

>>37154739
I recently learned my uni has free psychology/therapy groups/classes or whatever, should I go? Maybe I'll meet a mentally ill qt

>>37154924
Yes. Absolutely nothing to lose by trying it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

>>37154915
Typically it lasts for 10-20 seconds when I see or read online about someone killing themselves.

Persuading degenerates to off themselves though? Would make me happy for a couple of hours for sure.

>>37154902
Not that anyone asked, but I will probably only be here for a while since I haven't slept.

>>37154943
That's too bad. Still, glad you popped in either way meta

>>37154871
Basically the same. Its a day by day thing. Ive been wondering if I can bring it up to the wife without it overwhelming her. It would help to talk in person. Im really anxious and cutting would help. Meh.

>>37154879
I havent been in a while, but the therapist should take the lead as far as where the conversation will go. Each session should last an hour. The first few times will be awkward, until you feel more comfortable there.

>>37154879
>>37154898
>>37154902
What's the point of going to the therapy sessions if you already know what makes you depressed? For me it's something I cannot change, so I'd think talking about it to somebody won't change a damn thing. Feels like a meme actually.

>>37154941
Really? That's actually pretty interesting. Do you seek out stories of suicide? What sort of thoughts accompany the feeling? Is there a specific reason you like hearing about this? Just misanthropy?

>>37154975
So that you can overcome depression and learn to be happier.

>>37154939
Yeah, I guess not. Are these sessions like they are on TV? People sitting in a circle ant talking about their shitty lives? And newcomers introduce themselves etc? Or am I thinking of AA?

>>37154965
Hmm, I would think very carefully before revealing something like that. I just don't know whether honesty or concealment is best in that case. Maybe someone else has an opinion. Does describing the fantasies in detail increase the temptation?

>>37154999
That's AA m8. There could be some points of comparison in that it's a group, people will talk and they'll likely know one another's names but in practice it's not much like AA.

>>37154975
You might be surprised. Understanding the basic reasons doesn't cover it all, and therapy is itself a form of treatment. Depending on the type of group you could be challenged on your viewpoints and at the least you'll likely be given perspectives that you mightn't have considered.

>>37154975
Meme away and maybe tell us what makes you depressed? If you want to.

>>37155015
well, she does know. I just dont bring it up much because it kinda freaks her out. Talking about it helps as a release, at the same time can sometimes make me want it more. I dont think its a big deal to self harm in moderation but she doesnt want me to do it, ever.

Has this turned into a tripfag circlejerk?

thanks for starting the thread up facet. im so fucking lonely i've been refreshing since lunch

>>37154975
Otherwise they won't prescribe medication

>>37155050
No problem. Good to have you here. Tell us what's on your mind, York.

>>37154898
>>37154902
>>37154965
Thanks, I'm extremely nervous but hopeful

>>37155044
I also think you shouldn't self-harm. Surely there are better ways to relieve yourself. Are there any you've found? Exercise?

If she already knows, then I would go ahead and talk to her. If you know certain parts bother her more than others, try to avoid those.

>>37155100
I absolutely understand your nerves. I struggle with some of that myself. However, remember this: the therapist cannot act or share your information unless you give him extremely specific information regarding plans to hurt yourself or others. So, as I imagine Murderfag would tell you, reporting a generally murderous impulse or an overwhelming despair (not directed at you MF) then they'll just give you advice. On the other hand if you gave them a date, time and method by which you intended to shank someone or hang yourself they'd be compelled to act. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about on those grounds.

>>37154739
What's happening, did Nick die? I liked him.
I don't have any problem to share and I'm told I suck at giving advice so I'll just be lurking.
Also I have a major surgery next week so I'm a bit nervous.

>>37155182
He's not dead but he is taken with an ill humour, as I understand.

Tell us about this major surgery.

>>37155144
Its hard to motivate myself. Nothing helps like that. I feel like if it wasnt "forbidden" it would be easier to not think about it. Because I havent done it in years, its all I think about.

>>37155182
What's the procedure?

hi nignogs
Been feeling pretty "stressed" lately, mentally speaking, but not in a "i'm going insane" way, more like when your back is tense, that but in the brain, I think weed could help but I don't really want to smoke, I know is no good
>>37155182
I hope not, he was cool
I don't really know if we can trust in this new guy

>>37155224
Am I talking to a actual murderer on 4chan?

>>37155224
Sounds like it could be intrusive thoughts. If you're one to read books on such subjects I suggest 'The Imp of the Mind'.

https://www.amazon.com/Imp-Mind-Exploring-Epidemic-Obsessive/dp/0452283078

>Specializing in the diagnosis and treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder, psychologist Baer (an associate professor at Harvard) turns the spotlight on a little-known but common form of obsession, "bad thoughts." According to Baer, these "intrusive" thoughts fall into a few basic types: violent, sexual and blasphemous words, and images of a religious nature. Borrowing from Edgar Allan Poe, Baer blames such mental torment on "the imp of the perverse," that little devil inhabiting all human minds, cross-culturally and across time, "who makes you think the most inappropriate thoughts at the most inappropriate times." For most people, the imp proves no more than a "fleeting annoyance" most of the time, but for Baer's patients, these impish thoughts create extreme fear, guilt and worry. Attempting to suppress them only makes them stronger, leading the afflicted to avoid places, people and situations that provoke them.

I've been using 4chan for psychological support for the better part of a decade.

I was stuck away from home and totally losing my shit and phoned Samaritans and they were genuinely fucking great.

I love this place and I think some of these threads do great work but if you're genuinely losing hope try and find a bluepilled support group for sanitys sake.

>>37155046
Yes. But it was mostly always like that

>>37155224
Do you use depictions to stimulate your imagination? If so, which sorts are attractive?

>>37155165
>reporting a generally murderous impulse or an overwhelming despair (not directed at you MF) then they'll just give you advice.

Its been my understanding that saying you want to self harm would pretty quickly get you put in a mental hospital and its part of the reason I havent sought out therapy. Is that not right? Would they have to observe worse things than just desire to put you away?

>>37155253
>new guy
I've been here since the first thread, friend. Besides which, I'm merely curating the thread. I claim no significant expertise. Add your own insights, by all means. Feel free to ignore mine if it pleases you.

>>37155075
there's a shit ton on my mind. all in all i've had mental problems all my life, but i've started improving on them.
now it's like all the shitty ways of thinking i had, and all the consequences of my past life is hitting me like a mental truck. there's a lot of desires and fantasies i've had that im slowly realizing were just expressions of other stuff. standard normalfag stuffs.

lately im just trying to get some sorta social circle. and im wishing i would have experienced some real hardship sometime in my life. i feel like that would've made me stronger and helped me grow

>>37155275
>find a bluepilled support group for sanitys sake
That's a contradiction.

>>37155298
It could potentially vary depending on where you are in the world but certainly in the UK it would not be uncommon to show up with your arms slashed to shit and to walk out at the end. It's only if we're talking mortal or else extremely disabling wounds that they'd consider acting. Slashes aren't a concern. Cutting a finger off, they might think about it. Probably even then though, they'd not act. When we get as far as spashing your face with acid or lopping off a hand though, it's hospital time.

>>37155266
I wish.

>>37155267
Correct me if Im wrong, but that sounds more like that thing where people are paranoid that they are going to stab someone whenever they see a knife, but they dont actually want to. Theyre just terrified of losing control and cant stop thinking about it.

>>37155293
Im sorry, Im not sure what youre asking. Ive seen snuff videos and such, if thats what you mean.

How have you been, Facet? Staying sober tonight?

>>37155315
You've struggled, and those struggles were real. Just because you've never trekked ten miles to carry water on your head or changed a tire in a thunderstorm doesn't mean you haven't struggled. The above are easy to quantify, and to engage. The internal difficulties you face are that much more abstract. You can't take hold of them, but they can take hold of you.

>>37155182
hey arthur, what's the surgery?

>>37155397
Do you seek that material out or just content yourself with scenarios of your own devising?

>>37155397
Hmm, that might be more the sort of thing yeah. Of course, people have been led to act on it but perhaps that is rather different from your own situation.

>>37155401
>How have you been, Facet?
Really good day in all, thanks. Work went well, really hitting my stride and did some good I think. Might have prevented some harm.
>Staying sober tonight?
Nah.

>>37155302
it was a (boring) joke, my cuck

>>37155456
Well, fair dos. It'd be a reasonable observation, in all honesty. Unless that was the joke and it went over my head twice...

>>37154985
>Do you seek out stories of suicide?
Yeah, from time to time. This, or go to suicide support forum for reading material.

>What sort of thoughts accompany the feeling?
Sometimes I like to imagine their extreme emotional suffering or pain experienced during suicide attempts, or during their last days.

>Is there a specific reason you like hearing about this? Just misanthropy?
Yes.

>>37155412
the thing is my priorities have been to do what im supposed to do and not cause any shit. my life has been really empty, i dont even have any fuck ups or stuff to struggle with.
my hardships is a void, that being said there havent been much easy stuff either

>>37155453
>Might have prevented some harm.
That's great. Is this a common opportunity in your line of work?

>>37155487
Is suicide attractive in particular to you compared to other forms of death? If so, why do you think that is?

>>37155438
I seek it out if horny or in the mood. For the most part, it's all in my head.

>>37154739
Alright. Mind if I blog?

>Finally lose all hope and stop paying attention to women
>predictably start seeing a qtgrill from work
>She says she doesn't want anything serious, fug her and she changes her mind (I think, it was a half text conversation that I keep rereading like a retard)

Except for letting her know I'd be free this saturday, I didn't ask her out again because I know she has a busy schedule (school+work) and because I really feel like she'd lose attraction the minute she realizes how much I want her. Women hate needy guys, right?

Am I doing things right, playing aloof, pretending I've got stuff to do most days we arent' seeing each other?

I can't afford to fuck this up.

>>37155495
A void is an extremely merciless thing to live with. It could be said that the nature of depression itself is that of a void: where emotions should be - whether happiness or even rage - there's only a dullness. A sapping absence and occasional despair just for variety. Normies mistake the least of its symptoms - sadness - for the whole thing because they cannot begin to appreciate the destruction that the void can bring.

>>37155523
Not per se. Someone was struggling, I saw something was up and I reached out. I really hope it will make the difference. I think you can just tell if someone is really not alright. It was incidental, but it felt good.

>>37155572
You may have done so in the past already, but can you tell me what types of murder appeal most to you?

How goes everyone today?

>>37155622
Well enough, Hero. Yourself?

>>37155663
Well enough. Was invited and went with ex's brother up to cardshop, but he forgot to mention today's yugioh tourney day so barely restrained autism everywhere. These people are so weird I feel normie in comparison.

>>37155611
that's a spot on description!
im sorta desperate to fill the void, but i dont really know how. and also im pulling myself back intentionally since i feel it's not a good thing to be driven by desperation

>>37155613
My fantasies are usually stabbing. Stabbing someone or slitting the throat. I read a greentext a long time ago about some girl who got her throat cut and almost died, she described how bleeding out felt. One of my favorite videos is of an autopsy. All the organs are removed, leaving the body cavity empty except some blood and fluid.

There is no particular person I think of killing. Male or female doesnt matter.

I also like anything where someone coughs up blood or has a nosebleed or anything where blood is just pouring out.

>>37155729
>These people are so weird I feel normie in comparison.
That's probably healthy

>>37155729
Never got into any card games. What's so strange about these people?

What constitutes a suicidal thought? Me just picturing myself killing myself? That's different than an urge, right?

I picture myself putting a gun to my head and pulling trigger often, but I never had a strong urge to do it

>>37155804
Is this image generate by your own volition or arising on its own like an intrusive thought? What prompts this?

>>37155590
Blog it up, Moe.

Alright, well. I think that you'll get different opinions on this and that is for the best. However, as a serial manipulator and womaniser (and maniser for that matter) here is my advice:

1. It's true that women hate to see desperation. It turns them off like nothing else
2. However, affection and a little vulnerability is also good
3. I must emphasise a little; wait until later to let them know you're mental because if you wait, it's considered 'trust' for whatever reason
4. It's good practice to make it appear that they need/ want you more than you them
5. It's better still if it can be true
6. Don't act cold - act enthusiastic but occupied. They want you to like them, but it's also beneficial if they feel like you could devote all your attention to them if only there wasn't this other thing
7. They want to feel desired, so desire them. Just make it subtly clear that there are other things you want too. Once they know that you might have options they will fight to retain you
8. As with selling a house, if you have other people occupying your time - friends, a girl next door you just can't shake and you have no idea why she's always around - so much the better
9. Care about yourself, or at least appear to. Be well presented.
10. Low self-esteem is a no-no. Slouch and beat yourself up on your own time. Do not self-criticise unless it is extremely transparent false modesty.

Anyway these are my non-sociopath manipulation starter tips. Bear in mind that most of these are at the very start of any relationship and that things will necessarily shift over time. Best of luck.

>>37155765
Have you experimented with mindfulness? What happens if you resist the fantasies? Can you at all? How long can you go without them?

>>37155776
Take the people who spout off internet memes by heart, add in every flavor of fa/tg/uy, then sprinkle in some hardcore gamers after the prize money whether appropriate or not. That is the average fanbase for most tcgs.
>>37155769
But just goes to show I can't ever fit in. Too normie for these people, too autistic for normal people.

>>37155229
>>37155221
>>37155426
I'm an FtM getting rid of my boobs. It's a big deal psychologically I suppose. Once that's done I'll look like a regular dude, thank fuck for that.

>>37155804
there's a big difference between imagining how it would be to kill oneself, a thought out of curiosity or entertainment, and of considering actually doing it. it wouldnt surprise me if that thought crossed the mind of completely sane people.

i for one usually see my head getting split open with a pickaxe every night before i fall asleep. but it's been years since i considered myself suicidal.

>>37155827
Usually when thinking back on an interaction with someone, and thinking I might have said something "wrong" and might make the person dislike me

Other times I think of them myself but for no specific reason

>>37155862
What do you mean by mindfullness? I can go without looking at gore online for a long time, but I cant keep the thoughts away. Even if Im talking to someone at work in the back of mind Im thinking about what a knife across my arm feels like. Its constant. All the time. The only reason Ive lasted this long is because I was too much of a coward to act on it when I was younger. Now I have my wife to live for. It still sucks though.

>>37155881
Oh, wow. That's very interesting. When did you first start thinking that you wanted to be a man? Are you attracted to women?

>>37155590
>I can't afford to fuck this up.
why not?
i think this line is the exact source of your desperation

>>37155881
Ive never understood trans, but congrats anyway, that should relieve a lot of stress and shit. Have you been waiting for this for a while?

>>37155943
Mindfulness meditation. Maybe give it a try.
https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-guided-practices/
If this link is no good, I can draft some instructions myself.

>>37155881
ah, that's interesting. i was thinking something like a heart procedure. this is nice, a big psychological thing but a relatively safe operation (i assume?)

I don't know any of you, albeit I have seen the birth of this thread. And as such, reading you a bit made me eager to just try and do the talking.

I'm actually interested in your stories, what affected you and what is affecting you currently. Drop what you want, if you do want that is.

>>37155920
It doesn't sound particularly serious to me. Does the concept of suicide interest you at all?
What kind of "wrong" things do you think make people dislike you?

how do I come to terms with being a manlet and dicklet
becoming a trap is not an option btw

>>37156031
>>>/hr/2917302
Here's my story, Nick posted full size version here.

>>37155831
Amazing. Although I already "knew*" most of what you've written, I have never applied it, and really needed to read it.

* I'm having issues with number 10 and realizing I sometimes make up excuses for her to not date me. That should be her job, right?

Relatedly: We dated and spent something like 5 hs between coffee, park walk, drinks at my place and fucking (she is younger and completely worn me out) last saturday.
We've then seen each other every weekday at work, where no one knows anything about it.
We've texted mostly playfully once every 2 days or so.

I think the week that has passed is already the minimum amount of time I had to wait before asking her out again. Is there a maximum I can't go above or risk losing her interest? a.k.a. Must I ask her out again this week?

hello everyone i feel pain

>>37156031
I would probably be diagnosed with OCD. Potentially more, but that's the most certain. It's under control at present (or rather I am by it). I wonder if alexithymia does not also apply to me. I experience emotions almost only as they are physically manifested and have trouble identifying/distinguishing between them.

>>37156128
From what/where?

Fuck fuck fuck

Ive been waint for this the whole fucking day and now that I give up hope I find out its been gere for more than an hour.

I really need someone to talk to today
Everything feels like shit
I'm so fucking angry and sad at the same time today.
I wished this would be a day to relax, go to that fucking concert, catch up on my studying.
But fuck no, I just cant have a simple moment of fucking happines, Instead I feel like throwing half of the day and other half was trying to get calm by smoking

I dont even know why, why today.

I fucking hate myself

>>37155804
My suicidal thoughts always had to do with what would be the easier to deal with for my friends and family. I'd hate for anyone to take any kind of blame for me being a fuck up, or deal with the logistics of having to call an ambulance to pick up an obviously dead guy and having to clean afterwards, etc.

>>37156128
Where is the pain, my friend?

>>37156151
Come relax and talk with me Atlas, take a load off your shoulders.

>>37156013
Thank you for the link. I really need to get back into meditation. This is helpful.

>>37156151
Did something happen or are you in a depression just because?

>>37156146
>>37156172
in my head and heart

>>37156067
How much distress does viewing yourself this way cause you?
Do you believe women would be unable to love you/be attracted to you? Do you believe you have any good qualities?

>>37156221
What happened anon? Tell me your story.

>>37155950
I've always known I was a real girl. It was obvious to me cause I had nothing in common with them and I could only socialize properly in male only groups. Even my male friends didn't think of me as a girl and I wasn't dating material because sure I had a female body, but I was actually just one of the dudes.
Thing is, nobody knows about trans people around here and I didn't find out about transsexuality until I was 25. I guess that's when I figured it out.

I like both genders.

>>37156151
what's up atlas, anything happen?

>>37156221
Did anything happen to precipitate this pain?

>>37156189
Fuck man, I dont know what to stay

I feel like I cant fuckign do this anymore, yesterday was totally fine, I felt pretty good about myself

But today I just woke up and want to end everything.

Im just so fucking tired from all this, from my friends my family my whole fucking life I just dont know what to do, how the fuck do i make myslef happy

i just want to buy a huge fucking bottle, drink it all at once and hope I dont wake up

>>37156236
>>37156258
abuse unable to develop properly

>>37156261
You don't MAKE yourself happy. You have to BE happy. No, I don't know how to do that. If you figure it out let me know how.

>>37155978
Because I literally gave up on women once. And became content with the thought of eventually dieing unhappy.

Then fell into some mild alcoholism that when it became an issue at work prompted me to improve myself in a few ways.

1.5 years later I am looking "better" and bit more mentally healthy but if she likes me I really feel it is just because I completely ignore women (including her). I even give her advice on how to get some beefcake guy who works with us to fuck her. I am /that/ retarded.

I don't even know anymore women who this would work with. I don't actually like going out.

>>37156197
No problem, I encourage you to give it a go. I need to get back into it myself.

>>37155988
I've been disgusted with my boobs since their first appearance on my body 15 years ago and I'm finally getting rid of them, hallelujah.

>>37156029
Yeah, the downside is that using my arms and pecs will be difficult for a month afterwards. I hope I can still play vidya at the very least.

>>37156269
Are you comfortable elaborating on that?

>>37156315
maybe one day if these threads are still here

>>37156292
are you not content with being alone anymore? and were you truly content if you still saw yourself as unhappy?

I wanna go back on heroin.

It kills my wallet and my personality but it makes me happy. Truly happy. I can vacuum the dirt out of the grooves on a warehouse floor all day oh my hands and knees and fucking love it, if I'm on dope. No existential crisis or thoughts about what I'm doing with my life, just happiness and planning on the next dose.

>>37156261
>i just want to buy a huge fucking bottle, drink it all at once and hope I dont wake up

I know that feel. But you are likely to wake up and not much will have changed. I know socializing sucks, but if it goes well it can be a huge ego boost, so that is why on those days I try to go get my hair cut or something where people talk to me and I get to pretend I am a normie.

>>37156291
Then Im fucked I guess because i have no fucking clue

How the fuck did we deserve this shit
I fucking hate my head, my whole way of thinking. I just want to fucking die at this point

From what I can observe you guys are a bunch of good people. Keep doing what you can to help each others, it's something that makes me think that we still can meet some decent people from time to time.

Unfortunately, I won't stick around, or perhaps with an other nickname.

>>37156330
If they are, you will certainly find many sympathetic ears.
Do you find it too painful to speak of as of yet?

>>37156330
We'll be here whenever you are ready.

>>37156313
they dont fuck with the muscles do they? just the stuff above them. if so vidya shouldn't be much problem if you got good armrest, especially with a controller.

just out of curiosity, where do you live? i find it mindblowing that there's a country where transexualism is unknown

>>37156066
It's always me either saying something that will hurt the other persons feelings or saying something that makes me look like an insensitive person/asshole

>>37156369
But thats the problem, I could socialize, I can talk to new people but i dont want to, if anything it makes me feel more miserable. I dont even know what doesnt make me miserable at this point. everything is just pure fucking cancer at this point

>>37156354
>are you not content with being alone anymore?

Fuck no. Despite getting older my life has really picked up in the past 2 years or so. Just having had sex with a non prostitute should be huge for me, but it left me so close to happiness my anxiety went through the roof.

Its being that close that bothers me I think. I feel like if I could just make this girl fall in love, I could have a normal, adult relationship for the first time in my life (I'm 29) that even if it ended like shit, could teach me how to live outside of the internet and such.

>>37156118
No. 10: You can feel it so long as she doesn't see it. Be confident. Be brash. Don't let her see uncertainty. In the words of an eminent American philosopher:
>Now is not the time for fear. That comes later.

>I think the week that has passed is already the minimum amount of time I had to wait before asking her out again. Is there a maximum I can't go above or risk losing her interest? a.k.a. Must I ask her out again this week?
Quite the reverse. Let her grow nervous. Wait and wait as long as you dare. You want her to sweat, because that's when she'll reflect on how much she wants you.

>>37156358
If you chose to save your money for something else, what would you want to purchase? Think big.

>>37156230
>Do you believe women would be unable to love you/be attracted to you?
I'm afraid I couldn't be enough for her to stick around. Always have the "she could do much better than me" thought in the back of my head whenever talking to a female.
Also, lack of flirting skills/expressing my emotions.
> Do you believe you have any good qualities?
Haven't killed myself for the sake of my family if that counts

File: Daily Atlas Bullying Image.jpg (72KB, 600x385px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 600x385px

>>37156151
What's up chubson? A light bullying today but a promise is a promise

>>37156426
Why do you say things like that? Is it intentional or inadvertent? Could you give a specific example?

>>37156376
I beieve that you need to seriously consult a mental health professional.

>>37156453
Glad you care.
But honestly I could give less a shit today.

>>37156440
Big? Probably a car. But I still live with my parents and they'd drive me to work if I got another job, so I don't really need one.

So what happened to nick?

>>37156437
im worried you might be trying to make a relationship into something much bigger than it is.

then again, im 28 and i ended my only adult relationship semi recently. it lasted nearly a year. so im probably not the best at giving advice here, but i see you thinking the same way i did. which is also a big part in why my relationship ended.

>>37156238
I've dated f2m. A lot more stable than m2f let me tell you. Anyway, you're cool.

>>37156261
Sometimes catharsis can be useful, so long as it's contained. A few drinks are alright if you don't go overboard.

>>37156313
Top wewlad, a life without video games is miserable indeed.

>>37156379
Look forward to seeing you again Frenchy, whenever that might be.

>>37156486
He took the night off my man

>>37156486
I think hes getting overwhelmed with his own issues and this thread.

>>37156429
My point wasn't really about socializing, but more about getting some ego boost, some appeareance of "hey, maybe I'm not broken". You say you could socialize, but you aren't, right?

>>37156438
>Quite the reverse

More stuff I really needed to hear. I can make her wait. It won't be easy for me but if I can frame it in my mind as a challenge I'll probably autist it in and get it done.

You guys and this thread have helped a lot. I think I prefer the frog&feels one, but I had never posted on one about my stuff.

>>37156476
Have you thought of a motorcycle? I didn't really need one (or a car) when I got mine, but figured it was enough of a fun factor to make it worth it to buy.

Hey, it's been a few days.

How is everyone?

>>37156473
I dont know how.
im such a fucking retard that I cant even get myself to stop being such a fucking retard

I just a friend I can talk to about this. Atleast one fucking person that understands.
You guys seem like a good help but its still on autistic image board.

I'd give anything for a simple hug right now
But no. When youre a young dude youre suposed to hold your feeling until you kill yourself

>>37156546
I suppose this is quite comparable to the tavern. The difference being, this is more overtly based around mental illness. Such a shame that the original tavern master passed away. He was a noble soul.

>>37156506
>which is also a big part in why my relationship ended.

So you are saying I should actually take it easy, and not just because it is what women like (or pretend to) in a guy?

>>37156415
France. People here know transvestites are a thing and have heard about famous MtF like Laverne Cox, but are mostly unaware FtMs exist at all. Those who know about us don't understand hormones anyway, so they think we're just tomboyish lesbians.
It's actually nice cause that way nobody ever suspects anything about me, since I'm a hairy motherfucker.

>>37156546
everything I do makes me feel like Im broken. havent done anything I would feel good about in ages

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>>37156475
this too shall pass

unoriginal so giving anecdote aswell, i usually come out from my downs having learnt something. whenever i feel the shit coming i make a point in not trying to distract myself, eventually i figure out what it is im missing.

>>37156579
I tell you what, I can give you a voice message if that would help (vocaroo). I'd send you a cyberhug but it wouldn't do much good. Would it help to give you an email address that you can reach me on? If so, you can drop me an email whenever and I'll get back to you. That goes for anyone else incidentally, should you be interested. I have an account associated with the thread.

>>37156594
Can't deny without 4chan or the internet as a whole, I wouldn't know FtM existed.

My name says it all

>>37156616
Would you say you are a wilful person?

>>37156630
Yes please, anything at this point, theres really no way of making things worse

>>37156656
I dont know. I really have a problem with selfidentifiing. I dont really have a clue who I am. Every time I do some crappy test the result never feels like me.

But If i had to pick I think Id go with yes but hell i have no idea

What truely fascinates me in this thread is what you do guys. It's going the opposite way of what I've seen, or thought anyone would do, also known as not listening to others if it meant having to go through troubles.

So what makes you come here? The ability to talk about your own problems as long as you listen to others? Perhaps you just feel better about the idea of providing help to some people? What is it? I genuinely want to know

I want to make things, direct my series, anything, but it'll never happen so what's the point.

Intangible things like books or movies or philosophy aren't going to help me, because no matter how smart I end up being, it won't let me work on what I want to work on. There will always be little bullshit things, like me not having the supplies I need, or not enough time, or people just telling me fucking "no."

What's the point in trying to improve yourself if it won't lead you anywhere? I don't have any friends to make the present worthwhile because I'm too engrossed in trying to achieve a future that keeps putting itself off, and in the meantime I just keep rotting away to the stench of coffee and cheap cologne, and expensive cologne I have no reason to use.

>>37156590
yes, one woman cant and most likely doesnt want to build up your life for you. that doesnt mean that she cant love you or want to be with you, she obviously wants to be with you, we've seen that already.

you should be focusing on having a good time living your life, and invite her in to it. i saw my ex as the driver of my train to happiness, she said she felt like our relationship didnt add anything in her life since my focus was to keep her happy and making her like me

>>37156594
that's really surprising actually. i thought france was very developed, at the same level as the rest of the western world.

>>37156693
I sincerely wish I had the means to help you. If there is any way you believe I might, in some small measure, be able to, I am more than willing to try.

>>37156753
You know, no test will help you find who you are. But I'll give you what worked for me so far:

You are what you do.

So just look at the facts, not your own perception, and see what you did and what could describe such actions.

Exemple: Although I have blunted feelings, I still help people out. So whatever I feel, I still am a nice person. (And of course, it helps if someone agrees, but it's not necessarly the case. No one can know everything about you.)

>>37156786
Transexualism is rather a niche thing, so it's not commonly known, like veganism if you don't live in a city.

>>37156756
Well, the simplest and most direct answer is alleviated boredom. But I am also guided by the motive of reducing suffering, though I actually believe I have never done so once in these threads and am incapable of it. So, entertainment with a slight potential to do some good, if only by being available to listen and show compassion.

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My solipsism is getting stronger every day and it is actually improving my mental health. Thoughts?

>>37156801
Thanks, I think only the fact that you care makes me feel a bit better.
Felt like noone cares for way too long

>>37156579
Then you ask for help. Asking here is a good first step.
>I'd give anything for a simple hug right now
me too

>>37156780
Why exactly won't it ever happen? Have you planned/written it all out already? What specific barriers do you face?

>>37156753
I was asking because I once was told I was at least really wilful and it made me realize I probably was.
From there I occupied my mind with a few things, getting /fit/, learning another language (mostly by myself), getting a reading habit, etc.

It has the benefit of improving yourself (albeit slowly, and not the main objective at first) but it also leaves you less time to get bored and think shitty thoughts.

>>37156756
Well, its either this or dumbing myself on vidya or porn, so why not?

>>37156847
Solipsism is a meme stream of philosophy, sorry pal.

>>37156843
Thanks for the honesty

>>37156756
I came here to talk about my issues thinking maybe that would make feel better or just be a distraction at least

>>37156847
What was your mental health like before the solipsism? Do you really believe it?

>>37156786
I'm literally pasting this on a notepad to keep it in mind. Thanks again.

>>37156815
I wish I had done things that somehow shape my character.
I feel like I never had a chance to do what i want, seems like we are all parts in machine and you dont really get to stand out.
Everything i do is just a reaction people want me to do, not really much of free will, who knows, mabye there really even isnt any

>>37156467
The thing is that I don't believe I do

Here is a recent example
>Hey femanon, you know those company hoodies you got for us that are supposed to be water resistant? They aren't, I wore it during the rain and it soaked through
>her- what? Other femanon said it worked for her, maybe wear something else
>Me- well, toy say these are water resistant and I see it's gonna rain and now I'm gonna get sick
I wasn't gonna get sick, because it only soaked through a little
>other female co-worker asks me something else, answer, then ask her if she painted her hair
>says in a playful voice "thanks Anon, my roots are showing, I'm gonna have to paint my hair"
>first femanon says "there goes Anon, always trying to help him and he says stuff that makes you feel like shit"

That happened 2 weeks ago and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since

>>37156886
I tried to do things like this but every time I get into something I get another one of these times when I just feel like shit and dont wanna continue

>>37156756
for the company mostly, but it's really nice to vent sometimes aswell

>>37156838
maybe in france, i learnt about it in fucking school. there's also been several documentaries on tv that i've seen (though not purely about transexualism)

>>37156921
my pleasure, feel free to ask if there's anything more. im here most days, though usually not this late

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A special message from me:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tIEu4VAFsH

>>37156923
Only you could have done the things you did. If you rise your right arm, and do, no one did it for you, no matter if there's someone asking for you to do it or not.

That said, you didn't look at the facts, aka what you have done. Forget about regrets, and look at what you have done, no matter the cause.

>>37156972
Much like this thread, doing something is better than staying numb. That's also why I hate holidays :^)

>>37156993
Well I didn't learn it in school, much like veganism. Except if you consider knowing what drag queens are.

>>37156756
I came here originally on a whim. Ended up getting actual help. So now I'm here, maybe I can help someone else someday.

>>37156546
A motorcycle would be so cool but my mom really doesn't want me to get one.
I live in the country, too. I don't want to have to ride through a ton of rain to get in or out of town.

I feel like the time when I'm most happy is when im in my own imagination. Like when I'm listening to a good song and singing along to it and pretending in my head im a lead singer or something
And then reality hits and I'm low again
Do u robros understand this and what do u guys do about, like.just being stuck in my head is all there is and then reality brings u down cause there just isn't anything in the rewl world here for me

>>37156961
No one ever accused me of being the most socially attuned person in the world, but I don't see the problem there either...

>>37157003
Damnit I actually smiled listening to it...
Thank you, this is really nice

>>37157058
Glad I could help a little. I actually love a chance to do a bit of reading. I did a lot of theatre when I was younger.

>>37156889
>Solipsism is a meme stream of philosophy
Not an argument.

>>37156902
>What was your mental health like before the solipsism?
Depression and helplessness.
>Do you really believe it?
Yes though doubt is obviously still present and I blend it with my Catholic faith.

>>37157003
i creiyd facte

>>37156972
What did you try to do? I think it is ok to fail sometimes too.

For instance, I'm an engineer and have an easy time modeling 3d stuff, so I though it would be retardedly easy to learn some design software and make some side money rendering stuff for architect studios, vidya assets, etc.

I failed hilariously. I still can't even photoshop. Life went on.

>>37157043
Find something that you enjoy doing, a small hobby like playing any instrument or woodworking, it might keep you occupied and give you sattisfaction when you see yourself improve.

>>37157082
o neos did u ded? ;_;

>>37157097
In used to be into playing guitar and keyboard so I guess I can start back with that. But it always feels like I'm never good enough so I tend to just stop.

>>37157043
Yeah I get this, especially as I'm a musician myself

I think my mental health has taken a complete nosedive, I'm too shy to play on my amplifier because I think I'm shit even though I get reassurances that I am not

My ambitions of 'making it' are a pipedream, considering I can't even practice properly on my own anymore

Schizoaffective anon here, I had a lot off issues with my illness when it first started manifesting around 10 or so years ago in high school. It started off with bipolar symptoms and anxiety in high school, but years down the road when I was in college it progressed to schizophrenic like symptoms, ended up dropping out for a few years because I was doing poorly in school and it brought me to the brink of total mental collapse. It took me like 5 or so years of different strategies and medications, but eventually I was able to sort of regulate my symptoms, get back into college, and live more of a normal life, I've got one more semester left before I graduate.

I've still got some concerns over it, the worst aspect of it is that my illness always manifests under times of weakness or stress even with my normal medication, but I have gotten better at handling those situations. My biggest fear is that the higher I go the harder a fall would be, suicide isn't my main concern, I'm more worried about a regression to my psychotic state and losing total inhibitions, that side of my illness is what frightens me most.

>>37157081
That's an intriguing syncretism... Care to elaborate?

I'm having a hard time.

Through the years of suffering from anxiety I've developed a bad nerve in my esophagus which makes it hard sometimes to sleep. That and I wake up during the night and can't fall back asleep due to anxiety.

This week has been tough. I'm trying my best to hold onto my job and not go back to being a NEET but its really hard. My parents have told me if I fail that they have no problems with me going back, because they know how much I've struggled with it.

This sucks.

>>37157081
And it wasn't meant to be. While I don't necessarly want to dig into philosophy right now, I will just say that Descarte's Meditations on first philosophy would have ended up in solipsism if he didn't use the existence of god to surpass it. Yes, solipsism, much like scepticism. Because they're self destructing.

But that's beyond the scope of an argument I think, as you had positive consequences believing in it.

>>37155622
Absolutely awful, anxiety (or depression, whichever it is) is absolutely popping off today

>>37157035
>A motorcycle would be so cool but my mom really doesn't want me to get one.
My mom didn't want me to get one either. My dad even offered to buy me half a car if I didn't get the bike. Fuck that. Riding is pretty therapeutic. There have been two times already when I was leaving work and feeling I was going to get bored and depressed the minute I was alone at home, so instead I missed my highway exit and just rode for a couple of hours towards nothing. Completely cleared my head.

>I don't want to have to ride through a ton of rain to get in or out of town.

Yes, this is an issue. I can get to work in 20 min with public transit, so I don't really deal with shitty weather.

>>37157108
No, but I may fall asleep soon. I've commenced teh drniking. Not going at it particularly hard, I've just been up a long time.

>>37157138
I'm.glad somebody understands
I've always wanted to be in a band but I don't really approach people in my school because I know I'm just not spectacular and they would prob think I'm a noob because I'm instersted in coming up with songs

>>37157147
Care to elaborate about the symptoms that occur? I know someone that is schyzoid, even schyzofreniac, but I doubt it's near your condition

>>37157124
I also play guitar, for the exact reason to keep myself occupied. I played for 2 years now and ive gone through a lot of stages, from feeling like the best guitarist to feeling like no one should listen to me playing. Ive found out that you enjoy it the most when you feel yourself improving, if you play like shit, put metronome at under 100 and learn a quick scale, small things like this keep me playing.

You shouldnt give up playing the guitar, it helps you vent out frustration when you can improvise even the slightest riff.

>>37156883
I was going to film this week, but my main actor isn't coming in until late June, when I won't be here either. In the meantime I need three more parts filled, because one guy never answered my emails and the others simply won't be here.

You could say that in the meantime I need to work on the other four episodes, but I've been putting those off because of the logistics of the first, and I don't want to plan it without knowing my situation.

>>37157147
>SNK
Are we talking Shingeki no Kyojin, King of Fighters, or something else here?

Moving on, I'm guessing it was late teens? That's when it hit my brother, and that's a common window for it to manifest unfortunately. It's really something that you've been able to turn it around. Many people don't ever resurface so for that you ought to be proud. Good luck on your dissertation (assuming you've yet to submit).

I can absolutely relate to your fears. My own condition is different from yours but does share traits such as stress triggers and psychosis. That in mind the best thing that you can do is to put contingency plans in place. This will not only protect you should the worst happen, it will also alleviate your stress to some degree thereby reducing the chances of collapse.

>>37156786
France is more progressive on some things and less progressive on others. Feminism and atheism are thriving here, for instance. Different cultures will result in different approaches to being progressive.

>>37157124
I suggest you keep playing without considering your ability in comparison with others. Set personally achievable goals and have fun working to complete them.

>>37157162
much like scepticism, is seen as something a theory MUST avoid at all cost to be credible.

>>37157189
>in my school

How old are you?

I've tried a lot to make a band, I think because of the fact I've been rejected so many times and I still haven't been in a band since I was 16 makes me feel like I'm shit at what I do. Then again (this is a good point myy friend told me), I want to play stuff that is niche and not easy to play, so I guess it is what it is.

What music you into?

>>37157035
Also, where are you from? I understand Americans think of bikes like they think of cars. Unnecesarily huge. You can get a nice 250cc bike and it won't be a big investment. Anything bigger than that is just gluttony, which is awesome, but should be thought more as entretainment than mean of transport. Imho.

>>37157228
It sounds like you're really far along in the process! Why would you think these setbacks are insurmountable? It seems really fun to me.

>>37157086
believe it or not but pretty much tje same thing once, im trying to be an engineer so I know my way aroud 3d modeling and I also tried to learn to make stuff for vidya

And yes. I failed. Badly.

But that didnt really make me feel bad. What made me feel bad was that i stopped playing drums (wanted to make a band with friends but they all slowly backed out) since i felt like Im shit at it and theres no point.
I also dont draw that often anymore, same problem, I think I just suck at drawing
And Ive been working out and stopped because my constant feeling like shit made me really tired so I dindt want to do anything.

>>37157160
I'd wager that the person who's hardest on you here is yourself.

First, you need to see a doctor about your physiological complaint. It could be that there's a practical way to alleviate it. Then, as regards the anxiety, you might try mindfulness or meditation. There's no quick fix, but the sooner that you see a specialist the better. In the short term your doctor might provide you with something to help you sleep but that's a stopgap at best and a burgeoning dependency issue at worst.

>>37157184
Can you think what might have triggered it?

>>37157188
So it goes. If you stick around, great. If not, sleep well.

>>37157228
If you're in the UK I'll do it.

>>37157162
>use the existence of god to surpass it
Theism can work very well with solipsism, it's what I embrace.
>self destructing
Wrong.

>>37157228
I'd love to know what it is you're filming. I always imagine what it would be like if I filmed my own comedy (not a serious thought mind you).

>>37157252
I'm 18 and like a bunch if different stuff
The smiths, joy division, bloc party, foals, TV on the radio come to mind

>>37157198

Sure, in my high school years I just had sort of bipolar symptoms, mainly huge depression drops that would last for a week or so, with the occasional rebound into manic happiness, also really bad social anxiety that actually improved significantly with therapy. As for the schizo symptoms I never really suffered from hallucinations, it was more delusions that were the primary symptom, things like I felt I had to get through school and become a savior of humanity, the idea that I had a pseudo second personality in my head, bunch of other stuff from time to time but those two were some of the longest and hardest to break ones. They always seemed to make sense to me, but I could sometimes feel they were slightly off at times. I also had issues with invasive thoughts at times, mostly with the self created pseudo personality Echelon, it always tried to push me towards ideas of removing myself of emotions, working towards genetically engineering a new super race of humans, etc. Paranoia was here and there at times, just general paranoia.

I would sometimes take the mindset of Echelon, which in a lot of ways just represented some of my more repressed emotions and ideas, just extremetized by my illness. The worst of all were states where I lost most of my inhibitions and became overcome with a feeling I can only describe as bloodlust. I would drive recklessly hoping to try and kill someone in another car, I've also done things I regret, but can't necessarily feel empathy with. It's a pretty fucked up mental state, but it wasn't that common.

>>37157234
i have a bit of a hard time separating details like that. since you elected macron i figured france had it's shit together in a good way. and thus everyone should know a lot about everything.

>>37157230

Nah, it's just short for Snake I suppose, shoulda came up with a better nickname, thought about Echelon, but I figured that wouldn't be the greatest idea given the nature of the thread. I'm only graduating with a B.S. so I don't really have to do a dissertation. It did take me a long time to turn it around, I was uncertain if I ever would, ultimately one of my biggest factors for changing was I didn't want to turn into this megalomaniac that my mind wanted me to become, I didn't want to become someone that just strives for power even if it means killing everyone around themselves.

So my great uncle who my family was very close to passed this evening, how do I cope and help my family cope?

>>37157389
That must suck. But alas I'm glad you aren't smoking pot 24/4 like the guy I know. Which, obviously, worsen his condition.

>>37157349
I'd pat you on the head to show you you're wrong, but I'll just say that you are reading my words right now. Sorry pal.

>>37157412
Don't overgeneralize pal. I know way too many people that think macron is going to doom us all, some thought Le pen was better of a choice; some that hold terribly retarded ideas, and all in all, you can't really generalize over a country.

>>37157451
I don't know but when you do tell me how you did it.

>>37157449
Use whichever name you like. The urge to kill is, in one form or another, a difficulty known to others here so you aren't alone. I'm pleased for you that you were able to affect positive change, however. Feel free to share the minutiae if it would help, since more than likely people will be able to relate.

Incidentally, is Murderfag still here?

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I just wanna share whats on my mind right now

>be me, always been sensitive but got my life good on track (steady job, house etc.)
>sensitive part of me gets in the way of (starting) relations sometimes. Because I'm pretty good with girls in general, but if I'm really into someone it's real difficult for me to think about something else than her
>currently in this situation

tldr; How do you sensitive guys keep your cool when you're really into someone?

>>37157499
I stopped having feelings a long time ago so I don't know :^)

But in all seriousness, when I was able to feel stuff, training would help. Aka being in the same situations, again and again, and doing better each time.

>>37157473
So where do you stand on the election? I guarantee that there are people in this thread on both sides so don't be shy.

>>37157499
You need to assume that it's doomed from the start. Fatalistic advice, but play it out as though it's already over and you're running through it for the second time.

>>37157499
>be a senzitive guy
>stay cool around your crush
I dont think its possible, justbeyourself.png maybe

>>37157545
I voted for Macron, if you're asking that.

I recognize there are some good things on both sides (left and right that is), the problem was basically people going fanatical on their views (and I've seen it on both side, rather ugly even if some points are alright sometimes).

>>37157473
>I'd pat you on the head to show you you're wrong
You could punch me in the face and that would still have no effect on my solipsism which you don't seem to understand.

>>37157318
Its just something wrong with me, one second I might be having laughs with my friends and the next im zoned out thinking of terrible scenarios with paranoid thinking like what if my gf is cheating on me or some other anxious thoughts that pop out of nowhere and ruin my mood for the next hour or so until i forget them

>>37157554

Well actually it's working out pretty good because I see her regularly and we're cool as shit around eachother without any effort. Also I think >>37157525 this is also the case for me, like feelings have become a lot more numb than what it was in the past.

But it's just sometimes the uncertainty of how it'll work out in longer-term what gets to me

So I need to know how to keep my mind off that worrying stuff if someone has tips

>>37157648
So you need to deescalate. Or rather, remind yourself that it's your bullshit kicking in and just ride it out, ideally in isolation. That's what I do anyway.

>>37157678
I genuinely have blunted feelings though. So unless you have it too, you can't really relate.

Ps: It's diagnosed

>>37157688
I try do that and it works but sometimes it just happens too often or I can't convince myself that its all in my head. Like its all total bullshit but its just too hard to snap back sometimes and I get bad panic attacks, which luckily havent happened in a while

>>37157710
So you're saying even if you met the girl of your dreams you wouldn't feel shit?

>>37157857
More like I wouldn't feel a thing.

No, more precisly. I would feel good, but at a scale way different than you. Where you'd feel happy at 100%, I'd be at 10 at best. IF I reach 10 ever.

>>37157774
I can absolutely appreciate that. It's only something that you can try and contain. There's no foolproof answer that I've yet found.

>>37157894
Perhaps because there isn't any foolproof "solution" to anything like that.

>>37157892
Hmm yeah I guess I can't relate cuz in that situation I'm 100% happy, which also makes it stuck cuz it's really far away from the normal amount of happiness I think

But in any case It sucks if it's troubling you so I feel for you

Hey I'm the anon that was talking about feeling like mediocre musician or w.e
Is it safe to just stick to composing or try to better my playing skills by learning other songs?

>>37158021
Do you enjoy playing? If you enjoy playing then keep playing.

>>37157993
Per se, it's not troubling me as I can't feel negative feelings towards it. Saying anything else would be contradictory.

However, it's frustrating on a more conceptual level, as I cannot live normally. Almost no feelings means no empathy, or a lack of hints when it comes to what you say is ok or crossing the line.

>>37157894
Thank you I aprreciate the response, at least I'm not alone. Guess I'll stick to playing league and listening to bladee until all my emotions are nothing but that sort of baseline existential sadness, making me ready to sleep and feel sort of refreshed the next day.

>>37158021
No matter how mediocre you feel or are, do what pleases you.

No one in the world was born a master at anything. But all masters mastered what they truly liked.

Aka I mastered Monster hunter and FPS games because I liked them :^)

>>37158053
Ayy that's actually pretty interesting, because what would happen if a girl is really into you? Does that stuff work out? Like especially if she's into someone who is open and shows his feeling and affection?

>>37157003
Spent last half an hour listening to this to and trying to "rember happy day"
It's so nice but so sad at the same time

Sadly the happy days were so long ago it just all melts together with the sad ones

Good thing is I got so tired im not angry anymore, just sad

>>37158098
Better than what would happen, is what happens already.

I can't reciprocitate love nor can feel it when it comes from her. I genuinely feel love and feel loved, but rarely (once every x month), except when our relationship started.

It does, somehow, even if she knows everything about me. But as she knows everything, she knows I'm a keeper, no matter what troubles are affecting me. I always told her I was surprised she still sticked to me even if I said I didn't feel shit most of the which includes love you know.

But apparently my actions speaks enough for themselves, even if there's no feeling behind it. (Yeah, even if I don't feel shit I have something I could call an automatism that just makes me do nice things to people, even if I don't feel shit for doing it)

I'm open, and "too rational" (quoting her here). Also am like Homura for her.

>>37158185
This actually makes a lot of sense, thanks for sharing

>>37158272
No problem, I'll stick around a bit if you have more questions

i'm terrified about becoming schizophrenic.i don't have any history of it in my family (that i know of). but i have been diagnosed at mildly schizoid.

yesterday, for the first time, i had what i think was a paranoid delusion. i was browsing 4chan and saw a thread with some, what appeared to be nonsense in it, although it might have been a guy complaining about his medical condition. i had a really strong feeling that the message inside the thread was malicious and an attempt to brainwash me (for lack of a better word).

of course i know logically that it's stupid to think that, and i don't feel it now. but it disturbed me that i had that feeling.

can anyone suggest something?

>>37158120
Well if you have a request for another message have at it worldfriend

>>37158298
Seek professional help. Also don't smoke weed.

>>37158301
can i have sumthing personal over vocaroo 2? pls its for a friend

>>37158301
Thanks, maybe ill tell you when Im feeling bad again.

For today I think im just gonna go to sleep
Im just really really tired after everything that happened to me today

>>37158367
Absolutely. What would you like?

>>37158295
Yeah maybe one more, is it like.. you have normal feelings and empathy but very blunt? Or is it more like autism where you cannot perceive certain emotions (like for example if someone is sad)?

>>37158381
Sleep well. Please come back and talk to us soon.

Wait, paranoia is a symptom for schizophrenia? Does it mean I will eventually start seeing weird shit and hear voices?

Good night guys.

Im really thankful that you have been here for me today.
I feel like being here is really helping me.
See you in another thread hopefully.

>>37158436
See you next time Atlas

>>37157298
I don't know where I'll get those resources. Even if I did, it would be a much greater task than continuing on the paths I already have.

>>37157318
Nope, but thank you.

>>37157350
A Brechtian comedy about mass media. I'm probably only being vague about that because I myself am unsure of what exactly it is I want to say.

In Fellini's Otto e Mezzo, Guido didn't know what he wanted to say in the face of his producers and critics. I don't know what I want to say, yet at the same time I have neither the producers to make it happen normal the critics to care about it.

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Where do you draw the line with feeling depressed?
When do you decide that you need to do something about it?

>Always had a melancholic streak since I was a kid
>Got worse in my teens and at Uni
>Got really bad sometimes
>Still managed to hold my shit together and get a good degree etc but only just, I remember crying a lot late at night
>Have a good job now that I don't hate, earn enough, good friends/family
>Still feel like a worthless piece of shit most nights, finding it increasingly difficult to find joy in things
>So fucking lonely and I'm getting so sick of just dealing with it all, forcing my self to get up every morning and pretend I'm alright
>Never told anyone about any of this in real life, scared that they will just tell me to man up and stop being a bitch
>scared that they will say I don't have anything to be depressed about and I'm just being selfish or something
>Just wish I had someone to talk to or at least make some progress but I don't know how
>Numb

I've been feeling a little better recently but still not great. Don't know how to proceed, not sure if I can keep my head above water for that much longer

>>37158383
It wouldn't be personal if I told you what to say unfortunately

>>37158403
Blunted feelings sums it up, really. Let's say you had a shitty day, and you feel 50% bad. (100% being pure depression). Well, as it's 50%, I wouldn't feel it, as it needs to reach a certain value to be felt.

I do have normal feelings, but for me to feel them, they must be strong. Unfortunately, most of them can't be strong, and I have long forgotten how they feel like (4 years now).

Empathy is linked to your own grid of emotions, and projecting them to the other to understand how they feel like. My grid, though, is very different from anyone, and cannot understand how they can just fail doing what's the most rational thing to do, just because they felt "meh" on the spot. As such, my empathy is just more on a conceptual level. I don't feel bad when someone close to me feels bad for instance. But I'll show signs of empathy though, out of pure habit.

>>37158501
Simple: Get a professional. Talk to your doctor about it, he will redirect you to the specialist you need.

Best case you'll find out your problem is easily solvable, worse case you'll follow therapy. Which is supposed to make you feel better.

>>37155562
(Not that anon but I'll answer)
I assume the other anon is a sadist and if that's true, he likes suicide beacuse it is accompanied by lots of suffering till someone actually gets there.

>>37155033
SHUT THE FUCK UP TRIPFAG

MAKE A FUCKING REDDIT ACCOUNT

>>37158516
Allright that makes sense thanks again and have a nice night

>>37158613
Someone didn't read the OP and straight tried to pester someone.

>>37158648
Literally the truth desu

Also stfu namefag

>>37154739
thats quite the basic bitch normie pic u got there

I have bipolar II, depression, and ADD. Very recently a girl absolutely destroyed me emotionally, and I've pretty much moved on with my life. I can definitely empathize and talk with you if you need it. You can hit me up on Discord at FunkWizard#1873 or on my server using the code FF7Cf2G if that's your thing. I can also talk here if you don't like that hippy non-anon shit.

>>37158516
If you could give me a broad clue since I don't really know what you want

>>37158501
Yes definitely go see your doctor and tell him exactly the greentext, he will probably send you to a psychologist and you can tell your story in a couple of sessions.

This is a good idea because
a) you'll get it of your chest and can finally talk openly about it

and most important:
b) you'll be talking to someone who studied for that and can tell you things which will help you, as opposed to saying it to a family member for instance who doesn't know who to fix/handle your feelings

Just do it because it can't harm you, and most likely you can handle it very discretely like meeting up in the evening with a psychologist or something.

>>37158758
You haven't said sorry for your basic bitch normie pic yet

Immediately reply to this comment or I will ruin your thread

>>37158758
Something nice, something to crush the loneliness, I don't know if it's possible though out of the blue though.

I don't even know if I could do that myself, but hey, I'm not the one doing it this time haha

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>>37154892
>>37156330
Don't be a faggot and tell us or kill yourself. You're pathetic no wonder you were probably ass-raped by your step-dad
>Boo hoo I can't talk about it
>I need more time
Everyone who still gets abused over 10 it's their own fucking fault for not telling the police or beating up the abuser while they're asleep

>>37158862
u r teh best troll eva xD

>>37156358
What is important is always what makes you truly happy. If it's a drug nobody is in a position to judge you. Your parents tell you not to do drugs all the time but they would also rather see you happy and high than sober but depressed

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>>37158926
Thanks, but it'd really be funny if they killed themselves

How the fuck do I stop changing my personality and basing them all around characters in fiction

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>>37158981
I do not disagree desu

>>37158983
By finding out the cause(s) behind such behaviour.

>>37158983
Stop watching fiction?

I can't handle the pain of being alone anymore, I cry at work, I cry the most on Fridays and weekends, the pain is getting so fucking unbearable

Everywhere I go I feel like I am a burden and not wanted, like the moment I step into a room I am annoying everyone in it

I just want the pain to stop

>>37159023
Then try to reverse the process by finding out why you're like that, and finding ways to fix it.

Or to simply be around people for now, while not feeling like shit.

>>37154739
I have severe mental illness [paranoid schizophrenia] and my significant other is considering marriage and children. I love him very much but I am worried that my mental illness will interfere and I must overcome this in a very short time. Therapy, meds and my supports are semi helpful.

>>37159071
Well I can assure you 100% that you will NOT find the solution on 4chan

Also kys

>>37159071
Doesn't he know about it? What about talking about it if he doesn't?

Doubt you can "fix" your issue so fast, no matter what makes you want to do so. As such, you should probably find solutions that can be applied

>>37158983
Accept that a "personality" is nothing more than what you learn along the way, if you get some mannerisms from fiction that's natural

>>37159116
I hope that this voice message finds you well
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0652aKd4JOA

Is it a generally unusual thing that I'd associate with pretty much anyone so long as they're fun or nice people to be around? As an example, I had a discussion with a friend of mine about it, and she basically severs relations with people if she finds out they're homophobes, whereas I wouldn't really care if someone was a homophobe so long as they didn't actually act on it. If I knew this person went out to beat up fags at night, it would be a different matter ofc, but it feels really wrong to just shut down people for their opinions. Her argument was that they're harmful to society, and spread ideas that will eventually lead to gay people suffering. I can't discount that possibility, but... I just think that most people are of sound enough mind to not be affected by that kind of thing. And ostracizing people for having socially unacceptable opinions is almost the same thing as beating someone until they agree with you: either they're destroyed from it, or they'll only pretend to have changed their mind, while bearing great resentment and hoping to take revenge on you.

It's strange, because everyone I know have very strong feelings about these things. It feels like I'm expected to be judgemental and hold people to certain moral standards, but the truth is (I think) I could be friends with the craziest people if they were willing to be friends with me. Maybe even drug dealers, even though they have one of the most disgusting and evil jobs I know of. I mean, there must be more to being a good person than what opinions you have on other people, or what you do to make a living. Yeah, I realize I'm saying that even drug dealers aren't total scum all the time, but that's just what I've landed at. Another friend has called me weak and indecisive for thinking like this, and I don't think he's entirely wrong. I get the feeling that I'm being looked at as a potentially bad person for being like this, but I hate injustice and cruelty like they do.

/40min ramble

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>>37159152
EXPLAIN YOUR BASIC BITCH NORMIE PIC FAGGOT

WHY ARE YOU HERE IF YOU THINK "DONT PANIC" PICTURES HOLD ANY FORM OF HUMOR WHATSOEVER FAGGOT

>>37159152
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ntE3c6anfS

>>37159212
You're not diving into everything everyone does: Judging others over every detail. You're not responsible for them to hold shitty opinions. As long as you're fine being with them, then don't bother with the rest.

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>>37158771
>>37158558
Thanks guys, I've been putting it off for a while, didn't know if it was worth bothering with

I don't even know who my Dr. is actually, don't think I've ever seen them. Would probably have to register again since I moved last year for work, I'll look in to it,
Thanks Anons

Anyone in the UK gone to see a Dr. about mental health stuff? What's the deal?

>>37159116
He is very aware and patient about it.

>>37159103
I'm not suicidal.

>>37159333
Just go check the one that you check for common diseases. You know, a general practionner. That's what I've done, and what others should do.

>>37159354
Then tell him you're afraid your current condition may worsen everything he's planning, I don't know. He's the first person you should go talk to in the first place for these topics

>>37159319
I hope you know that you have the lewdest voice.

>>37159333
It's very up in the air. You do need to go in order to get a reference (unless you can afford private and even then it's advisable). Remember, if they're a cunt get a second and third opinion. I've always had trouble with them but you will find a decent one if you persevere.

>>37159408
I'm just dead tired and not opening my chest cage to let the air flow. But I guess the french accent helps

It's about this time I ask those who remain if they fancy repairing to cytube. For the uninitiated, it functions like a chat room except that there's a video window that people can add whatever they want from YouTube to share with the rest:

If you make your way to cytu dot be slash r slash glasscage
Then the password is 'clarice'

Why am I depressed when I have nothing to be depressed about? I had a breakdown about 2 years ago where I just started crying for no reason (nothing on mind, nothing I was looking at etc) and I thought it was a freak occurrence. However, I had another breakdown last weekend so this time I went to the GP, they prescribed Sertraline and referred me to Counselling.

Since then, I was out for a friends 30th birthday on Friday night, and I just left without telling them because I felt uncomfortable, I blamed it on a migraine. So it's getting to the point where it's effecting my social life now.

>>37159655
It's not because there's no apparent cause that there's no cause.

>>37159690
So there's literally no reason? Or subconsciously there's a reason?

>>37159715
I'm saying that there is a reason, but it's hidden. Nothing happens without a cause.

Besides, my psy told me the term for it, it was something like endomic, or something like that : the cause is hidden

Antiquity: This is when I switched out

I've done one week without sugar, could I eat a bag of cookies ? Just once, then I'll continue untill next week end
one bag of cookies a week isn't that much right ?

>>37159963
Look at the nutritional values, and you will see it's not a good idea.

>>37159963
>one bag of cookies a week isn't that much right ?
It means you've failed at what you set out to do. Fuck that bag of cookies. Throw it in the trash. Get yourself some baked chicken breast, put some tomato sauce on it, and cheese on top of that. You'll feel better.

>>37160004

yes I think it's because i'm starving and don't want to cook at 2am
I'll check my fridge

>>37159319
>>37159152
Damn, your voices are beautiful.

>>37160101
Drink yourself a cup of tea. I don't know why Americans are so deathly afraid of caffein at night, it won't keep you up if you don't want it to.

>>37160173
Thanks my dude. Wanna hear anything?
- Results may vary

>>37154739
i feel sad even though everyone says i have no reason to be like that, i also feel alone constantly even when im around people, i constantly have suicidal thoughts and the only reason i havent become alcoholic is because i have a high resistance to alcohol so it is a really expensive habit to be drunk

think I am late to the thread

Hey guys I'm here.

>>37161169
Hello. I'm glad to see that the thread hasn't totally died yet, but it probably will soon. This is very unfortunate.

>>37161186
It'll be back soon enough, people are just asleep or distracted.

Or not amerifat.

>>37161200
Yeah, I'm sure it will be. I'll probably be late to the next one though.

The only thing worse than constantly thinking that your friends are talking about you behind your back is when you find out they are.

>>37161271
I'm still somewhat there tho. If that helps.

>>37161283
Everyone does it. Even you right now. Get along with it, and do things that makes them talk about you in a positive way

>>37161283
it's worse when you realise you don't really have any friends

>>37161306
It does, and I appreciate it.

>>37161330
Yep, that's the hardest part about it. Especially when you realize that they only call you when they need tech support or general help.

>>37161412
>>37161169
>>37161200
>>37161306
are you the same anon?
what is your motivation for being here?

>>37161509
I'm a tripfag, just look at the trip and you'll know.

Discussion and possibly helping out.

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>>37161509
I'm only one of them

>>37161509
>>37161535
Nevermind, lost it somehow for a moment.

The last three messages you quoted were from me.

>>37161540
>>37161573
drinking? situation? how you feeling?

>>37161698
Sober, tired, emotionless as usual. You?

>>37161716
emotionless, substance induced
why are you tired, sober or emotionless?

>>37161797
Worked today, walking 4 hours straight. Am still not sleeping. And my condition, as said earlier : blunted feelings.

>>37161821
sounds like you could use a drink

why aren't you drinking at least?

>>37154739
I'm divorced and I can't see my daughter, I haven't seen her for maybe a year or more
I cannot situate myself in time efficiently anymore
I am recluse and scared of people I think they are talking about me behind my back all the time and judging my looks so I don't go out
I didn't pay my rent for more than a year also
I can't get rid of the trash
I don't have any friend
A few month ago I had a mental breakdown I thought I was the antichrist and now I feel shame everyday
I can't associate my name to what I see in the mirror, it doesn't feel right
I cry very often and can't help but take xanax i steal from my handicapped schizo mom
I can't talk to her, she doesn't seem to understand me
Some days I feel like a peer pressure to suicide myself but I don't want to and I didn't talk to anybody anyway so i don't know who wants me to
somewhere in my head i'm still waiting for my ex wife to come back with our daughter and I know it won't happen but i think about it anyways
sometimes i don't eat for days and when i eat it's mostly just one meal of bread
i don't have any income my mom gives me bread and sometimes butter and pasta
I want people to help me but I think about it i want to cry cause the hospital will laugh at me or tell me i have nothing
please help me

>>37161903
Last time I went pretty hard on it, and reach levels I don't want to reach again.

Also what's left is rhum, and I don't like it.

>>37161905
Seek professional help pal

>>37161934
i can't i don't have money

>>37161952
Find a way, there's got to be a way.

>>37161934
j'ai pas d'argent j'ai plus personne j'ai peur de sortir et du regard des gens et si je vais a l'hopital c'est injuste parce qu'il y a des gens qui meurent tous les jours le bas ce que j'ai c'est rien a cote alors j'ai trop honte

>>37161986
Si tu ne changes rien a ta situation, ta situation ne changera pas. C'est aussi simple que ca.

>>37162058
ca ne veut rien dire

>>37162069
Si tu ne cherches pas a changer ta situation en allant chercher de l'aide la ou il y en a, ta situation ne changera pas. C'est ca que j'entends.

>>37162100
mais je ne peux pas aller a l'hopital je n'ai plus de couverture sociale et c'est l'endroit ou j'ai du supplier mon ex femme de revenir apres sa tentative de suicide et c'est l'endroit ou mon ami a agonise aux soins intensifs l'an dernier moi j'ai pas essaye de me suicider ils vont pas s'occuper de moi ils vont pas me prendre au serieux ils vont dire que je simule que je mens et apres je vais devoir me suicider en esperant rater pour qu'ils me prennent

I need medical help to not kill myself but I'm too scared/lazy/paranoid to seek help so I'm just waiting for the day a suicide opportunity presents itself. Already have a preferred plan and everything :^)

>>37162135
Si tu simulais, je ne te prendrais pas au serieux. Je vois que tu es trouble et que tu es anxieux, mais la seule solution est de trouver de l aide. Tu as internet, le systeme francais est plutot bien foutu, je suis sur qu il y a un moyen que tu t en sortes, meme plusieurs. Ce n est pas necessairement en restant sur 4chan que ca s'arrangera malheureusement. J'espere juste qu'au travers de tes maux, mes mots ont pu au moins resonner un peu. Je vais pas tarder pour aujourd'hui, mais toi, cherche de l aide qui soit competente.

>>37162169
Yet seeking medical attention is the best thing to do. Living beats dying anyday.

I'll leave now. Night