Who /drinkingalone/ here?

I guess you're all too busy posting in fembot bait threads.

>>37076478
I havent drank for a month. I downed a full bottle of rum chatting to mates on teamspeak and apparently was throwing up in the bathroom later. My family thought I tried to off myself and my dad was inconsolable in tears for some reason. Woke up the next day naked on my bed and ended up sleeping 36 hours out of pure embarrassment.

Frankly I'd like to drink again but my family are funny about it, its fucking insulting that they think I'd kill myself, they still want me to sit down and have a chat about it but I just know I'm gonna end up telling them to get fucked for treating me as some suicidal teen again.

being drunk has lost men lots of shit
i ruined a good many things being drunk

>>37076870
don't be impatient with the people that weep for you.

>>37076870
At least your died cried at the thought of you killing yourself. That right there warms my heart anon. I don't think mine would miss me much.

>>37076895
Share what you've lost with me mate. I want to know what I'm in for if I keep this up.

>>37076478
Hey if you want a friend I'm here man. Also sub 150lbs and used to drink alone after work most nights, but that was sort of a catalyst that led me down a path of increasingly suicidal thoughts and self-destruction that took me a while to recover from.

i'm smoking alone because that's what i do during my wage-cuck season when i'm not working, smoking and shit posting. it's pretty pathetic. i think about how i'm going to not smoke and go do something or go try to find a girlfriend but i just smoke more and keep reading political shit or ?x? tier shit. it's like a purgatory i'm living in

Got shitfaced and ruined mother's day. Threatened to kill our roommate then myself. I'm such a shitty son, holy fuck. Before recently I was mostly sober for a few months, then went and got right hammered. It's the only thing besides opiates(which no doc around here wants to give out,) that stops my head and stomach from hurting. It takes away the pain in my soul too, but only for awhile, then it's back in full force. I don't know what to do anymore, AA is a load of shit(tried it before, always turned into a giant dickwaving contest of who's the most fucked up,) and going cold turkey only works for so long before i'm staring at another empty bottle and wanting another.

It'd break whatever's left of my mom's heart if I actually did kill myself, so i'm gonna try and wait until she's gone first. I just don't know anymore, I can't recall the last thing I enjoyed, if I ever did at all.

I'm sorry you're walking headlong down that path friend, I know it very well at this point. It's not an easy one to turn away from, but I hope things get better for you. There's no advice I can really offer that you haven't already heard, but I still believe you can claw your way out of that hole anon.

>>37077023
Thanks anon, I sure could use a friend these days. I've been trying to recover from self destructive acts and daily suicidal thoughts for a decade now and nothing has worked which is why I've resorted to drowning it in booze.

I am glad that you were able to dig yourself out of that pit though. What was the turn around point for you and how did you manage it? I think I'm going to be laying in this pit awhile yet but maybe when the time comes I'll follow you out.

im probably going to be an alcoholic once i can actually legally purchase. that's basically the only inhibitor to me at this point, i'm just too socially awkward to make friends enough to get people to buy it for me. once i turn 21 i will probably be an alcoholic for 2 years then kill myself. i'm actually looking forward to the journey

>>37076928
>>37076983
I know its rude to get upset over that, but its crushing to be treated like a depressed shit when I managed to get past it years ago. Its just insulting to me now.

Plus frankly if I was going to off myself I would do it properly without leaving others a chance to intervene, I'm not the type to do it for attention or anything.

>>37077188
We're both shitty sons anon. I would lift the burden of my existence from my mother if I wasn't under the impression that doing so would destroy her. She's an alcoholic too and it terrifies me that I would end her life by ending my own.

But maybe the fact we consider them enough to keep going at it for their sake means we aren't the trash sons that we think we are? I don't know anymore either anon, but I don't want to kill my mom and neither do you. I think that says something about our character, ya know?

You're not as bad as you think you are. You're a good guy who's spirit has been bulldozed by a shitty world and warped it into something you're not and I hope you can find the light at the end of the tunnel as well.

>>37076478
been thinking about the same thing OP, i always have more fun when drunk and everyone says im a great guy when im drunk

>>37077267
I get ya. You don't want to be seen as emotionally vulnerable. I have the same problem.

I'm the same way when it comes to suicide as well. I just don't know how people fuck it up unless they're low key attention whoring. Which I would rather they do instead of the real thing but if I was going to attempt it would be through foolproof means. I attempted once by hanging but couldn't go through with it fully. When I felt myself starting to lose conciousness I pulled back and the humiliation of it made me decide I wouldn't pussy out a second time.

>>37077222
Shit man, a decade is a while to be dealing with that. For me, it was sort of something that was latent when I was an edgy teenager and dug itself out of me when I started to mature in my last year of college and tore me up. I used to smoke a lot of weed but the more upset I was with my life, the more weed started to make me feel depressed. So I switched to alcohol and started drinking myself to sleep on weeknights and drinking with the purpose of blacking out on weekends, because that was the only way to really escape the hours and hours of alone time.

I guess I would say I hit my bottom when my drinking habits caused me to fail out of school and fuck up the closest thing to a relationship with a girl that I had ever had. I tried to get the materials for a helium exit bag but you can't really find pure helium anymore and I didn't want to fuck up and end up with brain damage. One night I apparently got blackout drunk and tied a couple of plastic bags around my head hoping I would pass out before feeling the lack of oxygen, but I woke up the next morning with the bags torn off not knowing when I did that. I set up a heroin deal too ready to OD on that and nod off to death, but the dealer didn't come through when I needed him to so that didn't happen. I'm sure if he did though I would have done it, because I genuinely didn't think I had anything left to live for.

I can't say I've fully dug myself out of it, I don't think that's how it works. The suicidal thoughts haven't really gone away and I don't think they ever will, but I can "counterthink" them. Whenever I get a thought that says something like "man, you may as well fucking kill yourself right now, even if things get better it's still not worth it", I take that as my brain trying to tell me that there's something I need to change in my life. Also talking to a therapist really helped me not because she gave me good advice, but because she was someone to talk to and bounce my ideas off of.

>>37077855
Also I should add that I still do drink fairly often, just not in the ways I used to. Alcohol might not be the problem in itself, it could just be the wrong solution. You don't have to be an alcoholic to have a drinking problem.

>>37076478
been thinking of drinking whiskey daily myself. Which brand do you recomend OP?

File: 2a09752ce6c0a5b690e1b090054c94ff.jpg (65KB, 630x420px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 630x420px

>>37076478
>tfw scavaged my room for an hour to have change for a steel reserve
>tolerance so high im not even drunk right now

>>37076478
You'd have to do it consistently for years to be an alcoholic.

I drank nearly every day for 5-6 years.

How long did it take for you before it went out of control?

I only drink myself drunk twice a week, but I feel cravings far more often.

I'm depressed and tend not to feel much positive feels, so drinking is like the highlights of the week where I can actually feel and enjoy stuff

>>37076478
>Tfw have a beer every morning before work
Its the only thing that keeps me going. Just glad no one seems to have noticed

My girlfriend. She is a solid 9/10, popular, funny, caring and level headed but man, these nights, these fucking nights...

It's like the Dune Worm God. You see the signs but can't get away. She starts crying, screeming, she is angry and jelaous, hates me and herself and many times made me afraid she's going to kill herself.

The pain we carry inside...

>>37078425
It's okay, Anon. You're stronger than you think you are.