/ldr/ – Long Distance Relationships

>>37045816
they don't work don't even bother

>>37045816
I tried it once. I ended up cheating on her with a French professor after about 5 months. Then I cheated on the French professor when the old one moved back (she didn't last out of state very long). I was a piece of shit

>>37045816

i'm in one right now. however its fairly mild as far as LDRs go, we are a 3 hours drive from from eachother normally. it has worked so far. snapchat, text messaging, facetime, etc, you can feel like you really are still fairly close to them, even though it sucks being apart.

>>37045816
yeh i did then i realised she was incredibly boring and i only talked to her due to the prospect of sex and the idea of having a gamer gf
lol

>>37045844
this tbqh fabmalamam

>Ever been in a LDR?
Yes.
>Did it fail?
Yes, but it was not distance-related (it may have contributed to it, it always does). Lasted for about 3 years.

LDRs are not for everyone. Both of you need to be emotionally stable, somewhat confident, and able to be by yourselves. Both of us enjoyed spending time alone and having our freedom. I only saw how much of an advantage that could be once I got in another relationship and felt suffocated.
The twist: we are both fucked up in the head so our relationship felt like an emotional roller coaster. The mental stability part is very important.
Also, make sure you both have the same expectations regarding meeting IRL and plan your meetings ahead of time.

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>>37045971
this sounds like mine im scared

>>37045816
Was long distance fwb for about 2 years and change. Then we went long distance official for about 9 months, after which I moved to her state and we got an apartment together. 3 years later we got married. It's been about 4 1/2 years since we were married and everything is awesome.

>>37047283
Fwb is for ugly whores

>>37047283
>marrying a fwb
HAHAHAH HE WIFED A HOE

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It can work but on a few conditions.

You must both have the intention of progressing the relationship and meeting in person. One of you must also have the means to travel / host. That means a job and a car and a reasonable distance. If you're both young adults with no income living an ocean apart it's prohibitively difficult and no matter how much you may eventually love each other you'll most likely never meet. You need to be able to meet and see how you feel about each other in person, not just once either you need to do it multiple times to make sure. The ultimate goal is for one of you to move to the other and that's a big commitment. It can work, it's just more expensive and difficult. It requires more effort and emotional investment than a traditional relationship. The trade-off is that you expand your range of search for a partner. Rather than being restricted by a limited number of people in your physical proximity you can pick a more perfect match out of a much larger area. Especially for unusual people like us on /r9k/ that's very valuable because otherwise we may simply be fated to be alone forever.

>>37047325
>>37047300
Neither of you have ever had sex, nor can you without paying.

I'm in one right now with a robot. The distance kills me every day, especially because I get insecure easily. I'm lucky that he's so patient with me.

>>37047530
Yes anon its so hard to have sex with a girl, you must be the top 1% of men to bag yourself one! Better lock her down asap and buy her a nice big ring!

>>37045816
>Have you ever been in an LDR?
Yes. For about 15 months. We lived about 2500 miles apart.

>Did it fail? Did it succeed?
It succeeded.
at 2 months: I ended my search for partner, and I focused exclusively on her
at 4 months: I traveled to her, and we met in person for the first time
at 6 months: She traveled to me, and we got engaged
at 10 months: I traveled to her to get engagement rings and select a wedding site
at 15 months: I traveled to her to get married, then we traveled back together to live at my place

>Are you in one right now, and having problems?
No. We're still married years later and we have been living together since the wedding day. We both have an easy and natural confidence that we will be faithful to each other and will be together for the rest of our lives.

Interesting fact: Before I met her, I was a Wizard. We were both the first bf/gf for each other.

>>37047388
Your post is all exactly correct.

>you expand your range of search for a partner
>Especially for unusual people like us on /r9k/ that's very valuable because otherwise we may simply be fated to be alone forever.

This is particularly important -- and it's exactly why I needed to conduct a nationwide search for a partner.

I am >>37047783

>>37047662
We don't do the diamond bullshit. Got her a blue topaz (stone of Texas)

>>37047915
Its just beta marrying a girl who gets into fwb situations with people, if she gives it up with 0 investment on the guys end she isn't really worth anything. But if you really are happy thats all that matters, good luck.

>>37047973
>0 investment on the guys

Well I flew her out to Georgia. We were both going through divorces from our first spouse, and our friend (high school friend of mine) introduced us, as she, too, was going through her divorce.

>isn't really worth anything

This is the attitude that will keep you incel.

>>37047996
I must have struck deep for you to be insulting me like that. I have a girlfriend who I don't have any plans on marrying, we already fuck, she has had bfs before me and shes not a traditional kind of woman who i could see raising my kids. So why would I marry her? I understand if you live in Georgia and have a more traditional lifestyle, I'm envious, I live in western europe where its twice as common to come from a broken family than from a stable nuclear family.

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I went to my steambf's country and fucked him in the ass. It's been 2 years since I've met him and there's no signs of our relationship stopping.

>>37048141
Miles have you improved at all

>>37048154
Probably not. I just spent $300 on useless druggie shit again.

>>37048196
I meant as far as the other thing was concerned.

>>37048094
>live in Georgia
I was stationed there. I live in Texas now. Non-traditional lifestyle; no want of kids. We travel the world and dive small island nations.

>>37048207
I should really just kill myself

>>37048223
No, just make an effort to improve. I'm surprised you haven't yet. Disappointed too.

>>37048212
it sounds like you're bankrolling her lifestyle m8

>>37048263
In what way? She makes way more money than I do. And it's not her lifestyle; it's ours.

>>37047584
Where is he from? yourself?

LDR is a complete meme unless you plan on realistically meeting each other like >>37047388 said.

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>>37045816
It started almost exactly one year ago. Met this cute guy on plenty of fish who was stopping home from the marines, which is why he showed up in my zip code perimeter. He said he still had six months left in the marines but stops home once every 2 months, so I said I'm fine with that. Three months into this unofficial relationship he sent me a nude, but the background looked like the inside of someone's house bathroom...not the marines bathroom.

There were signs of him cheating and this was the final straw, I dumped him hard and fast over a text. A few days later on Facebook it said he was in a new relationship with a girl an hour away from his marine base. They're still together I think and I feel bad for her, she doesn't know she was being cheated on. Also he was very annoying and we only fucked 3 times so I wasn't crying over him when it ended.

Military guys aren't trustworthy, now I found a guy who's local and we're having so much fun together.

>>37048455
>falling for the deployment meme

Someone always gets shitted on, whether it's the guy banging goat fuckers or the girl taking dicks left and right at home. Dubs

>>37048455
>military guys aren't trustworthy

I was the one who got screwed over by my first wife. Never would've looked at another girl.

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I've been in three.
>a girl in America, she eventually started ghosting me, I think because she found a guy irl but I guess I'll never know.
>another girl in America. Realised she was ugly and lost interested in her. Eventually broke up with her, which broke her heart
>A girl that lives in the same country as me. Only one I ever met up with. Had some good experiences out of it. She broke up with me a week ago because she decided she didn't like anymore. Still feel terrible about it, because I don't think I'll ever meet anyone I like as much as her.

I want a girl who lives in the same city as me, that I can actually meet with every day, and who can spend the night with me and wake up to in the morning.

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