>250 word essay due next week >havent even began it yet

>>37003551
did you miss a zero there

>>37003551
>47 word master's thesis due in 2 years
>haven't even started

fuck fuck fuck fuck

>>37003551
250 words isn't even that much. Was that a typo or something?

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>>37003579
>>37004036
welcome to NEWfoundland

>>37004036
Yah, I meant 25,000 word essay due next week.

>>37003579
>>37004036
nothing gets passed y'all huh?

>>37003551
Essays are largely based on how well you write. It's not something you can train beyond a certain degree, same way competitive chess or SC2 or dota or w/e players just play

If you write like shit, you're fucked. If you write well, you can start and finish a 3000 word essay the day it's due (if you start at midnight or 1am) and still get an okay or good grade. Go the library, pull books of shelves, reference them properly, use the internet, belt out sentences. I got 84% on an essay I wrote on a book I never read at one of Canada's top-ranked universities (same one /pol/'s favorite professor teaches at). Which just proves how shit humanities and social sciences are.

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>1 word essay due in 4 years

how fucked am I

>>37004312
youareactuallynotveryfuckedbecause1wordiseasytowriteandyouhavealongtimehowdoyouevengetassignedaonewordessayyesimaustistic

>1 letter essay due in 60 years
JUST

>1 consonant essay due before the heat death of the universe

what the FUCK do I do?

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>>37004312
>have to remember to breathe
>for the rest of my life
ONE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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>one diphthong essay due before the next naked-eye viewing of Halley's Comet

Lads, I'm done for

>7 phrase treatise due in 2 shakes of a lamb's tale
end me

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>one worthwhile life due in 50 years
>still haven't started

>>37003551
>>37004061
>>37004077
Go back to ice or where ever the fuck you reddit fags were before posting this

>>37004606
>have to breathe on manual

>for the next 3 minutes then again in an hour

>have to tell the class my favorite food for show and tell by this friday

i think i am gonna fail

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>5 vowel novel due before the next cycle of the Mayan calendar
FUCK

>>37004074
>25,000 word
what the fuck that's like half a book

>>37004754
You should start now! Ride around on a motorcycle and think about business investments.

>>37004824
A third of a book really. A 300 page paperback is usually around 90k words.

>I know because I tried writing shit, it's hard, took me 150k words to give up because I didn't feel good enough

>Got a 99.5/100 on my history midterm.
>Teacher is letting the history midterm be used as a rough draft for your final.
>Haven't even started with final because I'm paralyzed with fear that I'll do it wrong.

>>37004800
KEK'd heartily

originally, of course

I actually have a 500 word assignment due tomorrow morning, haven't started. It's only 15% and it's for a paper that I hate, as long as I get a C- on the final 2000 word thesis I'll pass.

>Blank sheet of printer paper due in 8 snows.

Should I just end it all?

Assignment to open Microsoft Word due by the time a new intelligent species diverts from Chimpanzees. I'm really running out of options here guys, what do I do?

>>37003551
>1 word essay due right now
Fuck

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>30 word essay due next month
>haven't started yet
What do?

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>Arithmetic test is tonight
What do I do lads?

>>37004967
It's your ego my friend don't let this be a "performance" but focused worked, without expectations

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>Donkey Kong bongo drum show in the Royal Opera House in two days
>Haven't started practicing yet
Am I fucked family members?

1 quintillion word essay due by the next harvest.

What do?

>>37003551
>paragraph due in a decade
>only finished the first two sentences

FUCK

>>37005386
start buying hard drives, atleast an exabyte

gonna cost you a few million, probably gonna need to hire a few IT professionals to set up your server

>>37005386
Count your lucky starts, I have a nine septillion word essay due in the next three minutes.

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>>37005386
>Graham's number word treatise on the history of the multiverse due before the timelines collapse
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>37004261
Writing takes practice, just like any other skill.

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>5 page essay due before the end of the year
>haven't started yet
>tfw I don't plan on starting

>>37004261
Did you have any classes with Peterson

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>once sentence doctoral thesis due at the end of next semester