Apathy/Anhedonia

>>36999322
If there is any chance you'll get laid off anytime soon, wait until they do that so you can collect unemployument (really only worth it if you work full time)

I had such a low pay job, that just commuting to work ate a huge portion of my paycheck. I can save a large portion of my weekly unemployment benefit because I never go anywhere.

>>36999382
I can walk there, which is nice, but it's the hours that ruin everything. I've only been there two months but they're already got me put on nights for every weekend and closing on the average weeknight, despite me specifically writing that I wasn't available then.

The main thing that stops me from quitting is that I have basically nothing to do otherwise. Every day when I get home, I just browse /r9k/. With a lot of free time, I'll definitely get bored and sleep a lot and probably feel even shittier. I just don't like exerting myself when it seems pointless.

>>36999476
>I just don't like exerting myself when it seems pointless.
iktf anon. don't even know why i even bother i guess it's mostly out of habit. i've learned that having a routine helps a lot since you don't even have to think. everything is just done automatically. the more time you have to think the more you realize the worthlessness of your situation. so distract yourself with work, school, chans, drugs anything really.
i'm not sure if you quit your job since i dont know your exact situation. i've only had one job in my life and it lasted two days (i quit because it was tiring). but i also had family to take care of me and i was able to continue school (unfortunately)

>>36999681
I'm going to college in the Fall. I took this job because I wanted some headphones, and I got the headphones, so there's no reason for me to stay unless I happen to randomly enjoy life again and want to buy something.

Plus, work is shitty. You're forced to be around shallow normalfags all day and keep up the illusion that you're all content inside. I had my revelation of how pointless it was before I left work today, and for the first few hours I could barely manage to smile or speak audibly. It was awful.

>>36999746
from my limited experience college is way better than working. the job that i had was borderline back breaking work moving boxes at an incredibly quick pace. there wasn't so much socializing tho. I would look around and see all these people and think to myself "i'd rather die than be like them". school can be incredibly stressful but you also have a fuck ton of free time if you want to be average to slightly above average. will you be able to pay for college without a job?

>>36999890
I'll be in debt from school no matter what.

Agree with you about the job thing. I used to love the idea of working at a grocery store as a day job until I actually got it. It's not relaxed and pleasant, it's monotonous and demanding, and your job isn't secure. All you have is the depressing reality that you're stuck in an unsatisfying career that you have to keep going to in order to keep the rent paid.

>>37000180
why are you going to college anyway? If it's to get a better comfier job then i would strongly recommend going to community college (assuming us) for two years and getting your prereqs completed then transferring. it is significantly cheaper and something i wish i would've done. if you are going to try and get new experiences and to break out of the apathy then i guess going straight to a 4 year college is fine.

>>36999476
Try and find a more rewarding job, or at least one that doesnt fuck you on scheduling.
The first few months of full-time work are always the hardest, but after that you adjust and learn to appreciate what you accomplish at work (assuming it's not some deadend bullshit like gas station clerk)

>>37000310
I think it's too late to change that. In my state, they offer a scholarship that covers 80% of tuition, anyhow, which I have, so it's not that big of a deal.

I'm convinced my problems are 99% physiological now, and I need to see a psychologist and a doctor instead of trying new things. The ones at well-reputed universities are generally good, right?

>>37000326
I can see that. Honestly starting to understand why everyone hates jobs like this. You're just standing there for hours on end doing the same exact motions, respected by nobody, waiting for a robot to take your job. I'm quite thankful I can go to university because being stuck in a job like that would magnify my issues by several degrees.

File: oi7AScf.jpg (33KB, 600x398px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 600x398px

I finally met a qt girl who was really into me. She thinks (thought?) I was out of *her* league. Can you imagine? A robot hearing that?

Anyway. Things were going spectacularly well, until one night. It was a long night. I didn't feel like meeting up with her so I phoned her.

We talked for a couple hours. I was tired. Not very talkative. Told her how apathetic I am about life in general (even though, for the most part, I have my shit together).

She slowly starts to realize I'm a depressed sack of shit. Then just like that. You know how women are. They can easily, easily jump from one guy to another, because there's so many of us and so few of them.

Boom. Next day she texts me saying she doesn't think we're good together. And just like that, I'm alone and browsing r9k again.

I've missed you all.

>>37000476
I can elaborate on this, if anyone would like to hear more.

I need to vent on this matter, and I typically do it on 4chan because you faggots are like family.

>>37000430
did you mean physiological or psychological?
>The ones at well-reputed universities are generally good, right?
I think it would be hit and miss. the thing with school psychologists is that there first responsibilities are to the school. if they have to choose between you and their job they will always choose their jobs. This means you can't be as open in what you tell them. They might give you medication though. It's good that you don't have to worry about money though. I personally don't trust psychologists. If i need mental health advice I read books and get my info online

>>37000549
i'm all ears. but please stop with the reddit spacing it is so annoying to read.

I'm about to fail out of college (4 finals I am totally unprepared for in 2 days). I've never had a job. I don't want to do anything with my life (no hobbies, interests, whatever). My parents have no idea. I'm just not cut out for living.

>>37000476
I know what you mean. It's difficult to swallow, but no one really cares about apathetic people. The lack of energy and life in you seeps into conversation, and it's almost like you're a drain on other people when you speak to them. But it's pointless to try and fake it, because you still won't feel like them.

As a result, you've only got your thoughts to pass the time.

>>37000586
That mainly applies to self-harm things, right? No one's going to lock up a guy because he feels emotionally numb. At least, I hope not.

>>37000621
Sorry man.

>>37000608
What the hell is considered reddit spacing? I just do that naturally.

>>37000549
tell us anon. women hate when a man shows weakness. i remember crying after my parents died and my gf broke up with me a week later.

as to op, i feel the same way. i finally got fired from my job, looking into qualifying for neetbux. in the meantime i am going to travel, i hate my life so much. cant wait till its over.

>>37000647
reddit spacing

is this


and i'm only doing it ironically
and in no way approve of its use.

but seriously, it's really hard to read please stop. each sentence doesn't need to be double spaced.

>>37000684
You got that right. Damn. I was beginning to overlook the slight faults in her character. What bothers me the most is that she said she wanted someone she can be totally open with in a relationship. Initially she complained I wasn't "open" enough. So I opened up. And she high-tailed. Dammit.

>>37000696
Better?

Also I've been thinking of writing a book this summer anons. Do any of you have experience with drafting stories, developing characters, getting publishers' ears, keeping the reader engaged, etc?

>>37000629
>That mainly applies to self-harm things, right?
Or harm to others. or anything that can ruin the schools reputation. always remember that you have to save yourself. it's fine to ask for help but the majority of work has to be done by you.

>>36999322

fuck i love airports, it's so cozy having everything you could possibly need right there on your back and complete freedom from any social norms about your appearance/behavior/eating/drinking

as soon as you clear security and walk through to the airside it's like a little oasis

>>37000789
aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself? just start writing and rewriting. you're worrying about publishing when you don't even have a single word on a page. if the story and characters are interesting the readers will be engaged. write a story that you will be happy with. because if you fail you'll at least have a story you enjoy.

>>37000864
Yup. As long as they can build off ideas and aren't just there to make small talk, I'm more than glad to see them.

>>37000874
I know, right? I especially loved visiting all the shops on the perimeter of the place. It's all so futuristic and has that feeling of adventure to it when you're about to go somewhere you've never been.

>>37001010
Yeah, nevermind. I'm just going to start writing.

Bump. No one else with Anhedonia?

>>37002238
its kind of difficult to have a thread about people who suffer from anhedonia or are apathetic. they don't really care. they have little to no hobbies and follow the status quo until they die or there situations become unbearable. its not a problem anybody can fix either. some may not even consider it a problem. I don't. this is how I am and i don't think i'm going to change any time soon. i just let my life run its course and try to follow the path of least resistance. there are times where i find something that catches my interest and those moments are nice but also rare.
I'm curious though, who here was born apathetic and who developed it later on in life?

>>37002478
I believe mine is a form of Depression called Dysthymia. I used to enjoy a lot of things, and was interested in literature and music. Gradually, everything kept vanishing, and since January of this year I've felt dead inside. I hit a point not long ago when I realized how objectively better my life used to be, and since then I just haven't been content.

>>37002514
interesting. so is there nothing that you enjoy nowadays. and has anything changed in your life since january?

>>37002661
I enjoy a short list of things:
-Chocolate/Candy
-Masturbation
-Catchy melodies
And everything else is gone. Music was the last thing that could make me feel emotion, and I had a few amazing experiences with a select few albums at the end of last year, but now there's absolutely nothing.

Since January, I've been seeing a therapist, and for month-long periods of time, I've tried daily walks in nature, meditation, a healthy diet, and jogging. The current one is fish oil. While those things do make life a little more bearable and distract you from your problem, it's still really obvious that apathy and anhedonia have never actually left.

>>37002740
is the therapist helping? has he been a net positive or just a waste of money?

>>37003276
No effect, honestly. He's clearly never had a patient with a problem like mine. His skillset is in working through problems that can be figured out in one's head, whereas all he can do for me is ask "Are you feeling better yet?" and suggest I start meditating or exercising more. Thankfully the sessions were free.

I really just need to see a doctor. I've been asking my mother for several months but she still hasn't done it. Despite how often she tells me that she loves me, I don't think she truly cares for my well-being. Whenever I try and open up, she immediately thinks I'm blaming her for something, and it's hopeless to even try and make her understand.

>>37003411
Maybe she doesn't want to believe that there's something wrong with you?

>>37003520
Could be, but she changed the subject immediately and shifted it all to her. It honestly caught me off guard considering how little I think of anyone but myself. One weird thing about apathy/anhedonia I've found is that you stop viewing people as distinctly good or bad, or caring about what they do. For instance, self-esteem is not really a thing for me.

>>37003581
>For instance, self-esteem is not really a thing for me.
elaborate. do you just not have a way to measure it or is it low?

>>37003666
I think I'm capable of things and smart, but since all of the emotional factors are missing, there's no attachment to that identity. I view myself almost in a detached way, like "He's not working very hard but he's in a screwed-up place so whatever".