How do you deflect/lie when your friends asks if you are a virgin?

Tell them you hired a prostitute.

By not having any friends because I'm not a fucking normie

>>36997997
/thread
origirgirigi

>>36997969
Tell them it was a one night stand.

>>36998012
What if they start to ask details? I suck at making up stories.

Trick question, I don't have any friends.

>>36997969
I dont. In fact, I'm perfectly content with telling people I've never gone so far as to touch a woman.

>>36998023
Tell them you stuck it right in her pee hole

>stacy in high school asks if I'm a virgin
>think 'lol whatever everyone is anyway' and innocently say yes
>she says "how cute"

>>36997969
>friends

there's your problem

>>36997969
All my friends are virgins

>friend
>lie
You fucking don't.
Given the premise, they are you friends.

Learn to accept yourself and set some goals, god damnit. Everyone who's hindering you from reaching your goals is a hindrance and nothing else.

>>36997997
>>36998011
mah muhfuckin niggas

>>36997969
fuck out hea wit dis ole bullshit
>>>/facebook/

saged and downvoted

Just say you're a virgin.
God damn who cares.

>>36997969
Who fucking cares?
>People who think having sex makes them better than other people

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>>36997969

We're all virgins (except for one of us) so nobody asks.

Checkmate faggot.

Say "yeah I'm definitely a virgin" and then wink at them

You're not lying, but there is enough doubt to keep your normie dreams alive.

All the people I meet assume I'm not a virgin and it never comes up. My family apparently assumes I had a lot of sex because of how much time I was spending with random chicks I met on the internet late at night.

>>36997969
I don't deflect it. My sense of humour is fairly self-deprecating, so it actually sometimes centers around the fact that I'm a virgin.

>>36998077
>>People who think having sex makes them better than other people
Avoiding them (pretty much everyone) isn't always feasible.

They don't care? If they are your friends, they really shouldn't care if your a virgin or not. Mine definitely don't, and all of them are turbo Chads. Like the type of Chads that use Tinder as a personal sex app type of Chads.

They know I'm a KHV and never make fun of me for it. They do say that they refuse to let me reach the age of 40 like this though.

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>friends know I'm a virgin
>They all make fun of me for it and there's nothing I can say back

>>36997969
Say you're a virgin and saving yourself for marriage. If you say it with enough irony, they might think you're actually not a virgin..

>>36998077
It does though

Not being able to get sex is a red flag for all sorts of physical and mental issues. These make you a worse person than others.

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>>36998291
This. Obviously.

If you're attractive, you're quite literally attractive. You're socially included.

Once you're 36 and people have other "real" problem, nobody will really care who has much sex and who hasn't. But it still correlates with status a lot.

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>>36997969
They already know by the way you look and walk bro

they already know...

>>36998176
Obviously. Just need to call them out on their bs.

>>36998291
Sure, but not having sex doesn't rule you out as being a perfectly fine person. Newton died a virgin. Some people chose not to have sex but that doesn't make them them better or worse than people who do.

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>>36998389
Dude, literally this.
I don't know what I'm doing but girls pick up on this shit.

>>36997969
>How do you deflect/lie when your friends asks if you are a virgin?
I just be honest. It's not like i'm telling them i like to rape babies, it's just that i've never had sexual intercourse. But honestly: who cares? it doesn't bother me. Do i want to have sex? of course, but not enough to let it consume my life. And guess what? I have lots of chad friends. Being a normie doesn't mean consuming drugs, listening to popular songs, or have casual sex. It's about conducting a good self image. That's why you guys aren't normies. You're so consumed by your own problems yet you do nothing about them and blame it on people far more successful than you.

You guys don't take care of yourselves at all.

i am two years on uni and no one knows yet.
and i have the savvyest of the chads working with me on all kinds of projects.
you should roleplay when you were younger a skill that gave me a lot of power over those creatures.
if i used my autism to make a girl succ me maybe i wouldnt even be a virgin but that wouldnt be true too soo i really cant care

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>>36997997
Glad I'm not the only true robot left here after the norman invasion.

>>36998420
How the fuck do they do it?
It's unbelievable.

>>36998414
>>36998077
https://youtu.be/BQsBrickMmI
yeah dude, being a social animal unable to properly function socially is completely ok

>>36997997
Honestly, if you even own a social media account or cell phone. you're a normie.

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>>36998672
Personally I think I'm too nice and timid. Might start being a douchbag to throw them off my virgin scent.

>>36998691
for a omega wolf, he is holding himself pretty well

>>36998691
This is me, except the bites are with words and looks.

>>36997969
just tell them you go on tinder every now and then

>>36998691
You're missing the fucking point dude.

I'm not saying being a social retard is fine, just saying the idea of sex shouldn't be held so high. You don't need sex to be successful.

>>36999131
but you do, because success depends on social status, and not having sex puts you far down the ladder.

>>36999223
No, thats just a meme that Chad aged 30+
invented to justify why he's working as a
PE teacher.

>>36997995
fucking this

origifuckingnal

>>36997969
>How do you deflect/lie when your friends asks if you are a virgin?

Bit difficult.

I have two ex wives and kids.

I guess I would have to pretend I was homosexual or something.

>>36999354
>get to be fit an active at work
>get to check out teenage hunnies
>get paid above the average wage
>get better than average perks and benefits
>most secure job around

What's there to justify? PE teacher is the dream job.

>>36997969
Just ask them "what do you think" with a cocky attitude. Some of my co-workers think I have two girlfriends, that trick mainly works if you don't look autistic. People tend to imagine all sorts of things when you let them think the worst.

>>36999491
According to Anon, PE teacher is peak success
>there'smoretolifethanthis.jpeg

Don't be a pussy. Tell them straight up. At least have your dignity man.

>>36997969
I don't lie because obviously trying to cover up looks even worse

>>36997969
That is literally the perfect female body. Peak performance.

>>36998470
Here's a normie trying to downplay his
normieness.
Here's a tip pal; fuck off.
No one is blaming anyone here. I and a lot of people here accept our problems and decide it isn't worth fixing because all we MIGHT get is a wet hole.
You are passive aggressively attacking a group of people you don't want to be a part of. Just because your a virgin, doesn't mean you belong here. You have to be a virgin loser.

>Only one friend gives me shit for being a virgin
>He has only ever banged prostitutes and managed to fall in love with one 10 years older than him
>Buys her gifts and shit, including a phone
>Turns out she was married and her Thai husband is coming over to live with her, so they "break up"
>He has been taking depression ever since

But no, clearly I'm the loser :^)

>>36997969
I tell them I'm a virgin and explain that intimacy is really hard for me.

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>>36997997
this is the correct answer

want to be my non-friend?

>>36998100
wtf I saw this pic on the evangelion subreddit today which I went to because I just finished rewatching the anime+EoE (first rewatch in 12 years).

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>>36997969
NO I'M LEO EHEHEHEHEHEHEH

>>37000414
Yah doot thats where I got it a few days ago. Its such a unique an amazing series. I only watched it once a few years ago (I think it was 3, it was during finals week of sophmore year of highschool which heightened emotions), because I'm holding off on rewatching it until 4.44 is released.

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>>37000785
Yeah good call, I was going to hold off on watching the Rebuild movies until the 4th one comes out. All four will be new to me which will be nice.

It was as great as I remember it being the first time 12 years ago except for the original 25th and 26th episodes which, even in the context of the external events of End of Evangelion, are rather bad. Like, why do Kaji and Gendo show up clapping for Shinji at the end if they both died before everyone became one consciousness?

>>36997969
can anyone sauce this bitch?

>>36997969
Engineered circumstances where they found my tinder profile. When they brought it up I said that I didn't like talking about that side of my life and that "I don't kiss and tell"
>TFW technically true

I'm a naturally private person so that's bought me a bit of time. They'll probably get suspicious again at some point but I'm hoping I'll get my shit together before then.

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Nobody has ever asked about my relationship history (or lack thereof). I assume most people can tell.
If anyone asked I would be honest, I know it's a meme but most people don't care as much as people here think and they probably won't give you shit for it.

>>36998280
If they make fun of you they are not your friends.

>>37001586
>He doesn't know that fake friends are better than the alternative.

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I'm not a virgin, but if I ever manage to get friends IRL again I feel like they wouldn't believe me if I told them that...

>>36997969
they're your friends just be fucking honest you might get a bit roasted but theyll probably end up trying to help you out in the long run

>>36997969
I drunkenly confess to it with the same level of conviction that someone might come out of the closet with

Pretty sure anyone who knows thinks less of me for being a virgin desu

>>36998414
Nobody on /r9k/ is choosing

>>36997969
Don't lie. Lying is for women and muslims.

Have some integrity faggot, and wait for marriage.

I just tell them I'm a virgin straight up, I don't give a shit what some normie thinks of me.

>>36997969
you don't

orgamoli

How do you deal with customers asking you if you're a virgin at your job
I've been genuinely asked 2 times even if I don't give off a virgin scent

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>>36997969
>deflect/lie
Kek why? Wear it like an armour. Anyone can be mindless degenerate, not everyone has enough will power and self control to remain virgin. The most recent person that found out that I'm 26y old virgin was my 50'ish old supervisor, cool guy, he has a ban and can't enter few countries because of the robberies he was involved when he was young. He also did some debt collection and stuff like this when he was young. I enjoyed our bants, he couldn't comprehend how I could still be virgin at this age telling me about how he lost his v card in a car with a 18 y old girl when he was 15. Or about how he fapped to nuns taking a shower back in Africa when he was still at school.