What is the Chaddiest thing you've ever done?

>>36962002
Talk to a new girl in class, she clearly wasn't interested and I was just being cringy.

Probably breaking up with my gf 2 days after she had sucked my knob. First time she had done that to anyone and first (and last) time I had ever gotten a bj. I didn't really plan on those 2 events being so close to each other though, I was fucked up on meds and I feel really bad about it.

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>>36962002
Two girls came walked up and asked me which one of them I wanted to date back in 2013.

Asked a grill out and she said yes. Sent her a snap asking if she was ready for tomorrow (I knew she had a thing for me already so it was easy mode) and she sent me the cutest response I've ever seen. Caption was "yesssss!!!!!" or something to that effect. She looked so happy. Actually thought I was going somewhere in life until I spilled spaghetti and she found out about my autism.

Pumped and dumped a 17yr old qt (I'm 25)
I should have locked down that prime teen pussy and made her my young wife huge mistake

>>36962002
Made out with some 9/10 girl at a party for like 6 hours then went home with her.
Actually maybe chad would have took her to his home after 1 or 2 hours.

>at wendies
>Standing in line
>Feel my gut rumbling from the hotpocket salad I ate earlier
>Craving a spicy chicken with extra fries and a large doctor pepper
>Get up there to order
>Get my food
>Realize I forgot to order drink
>Line is long and moving slow
>Walk up to the front of the line and start talking to the register lady
>Realize she's in the middle of a transaction with a patron
>He's looking at me and she says I need to wait in line unfortunately
>My eyes well up with tears
>Walk to soda fountain
>Grab little ketchup Dixie cups and fill ten of them with doctor pepper
>On 11 or 12 when someone comes out to tell me I can't do that
>Reeeeeeeeeeee
>Begin shooting them down while looking this person directly in the eye
>He's the manager
>The adrenaline is flowing and as he stands there looking at me as I down my sixth cup a shart slips out
>Feel my asshole foam up with hotpocket salad
>He realizes what happened, tells me I have to leave
>Continue sipping
>Get escorted off the premises
>I left my backpack full of my mechanical engineering coursework and laptop behind
>Run into the store and grab my food and backpack
>Manager shouts, "hey get out of here!"
>Run for the door, fluffy nuggets of oily feces drain from my swimming shorts off of my flip-flops, hitting the floor
>Knock over an old lady
>Slip on my cape and and drop my fedora after I get out the door, landing face first into my spicy chicken
>Stacy runs over and asks if I'm okay
>Tell her yea haha, crazy day
>Police come, detain me and question me for three hours before I'm released
>mfw they didn't give me my cape back
>mfw Stacy touched my shoulder

Called a girl a whale once

>ex gf keeps texting me and bothering me
>probably wants me back
>nope, ignore her forever I'm in control now, bitch

does that count?

>>36962117
First big fight you would've had she'd get you charged with statutory rape

>be at work, browsing tinder
>match with chubby mid 30's cunt with kids, going through a divorce
>asks me my weight, send her a shirtless pic
>sends me address of her hotel, asks me how long til I can be there
>I'm at work, it's midnight, tell her i can be there when I get off at 6 AM
>she says thats not fast enough
>I tell her in the next 30 minutes
>i immediately go on break
>drive to hotel, let me friends on discord know that I'm meeting tinder whore to uncuck myself
>they tell me not to go, i could get raped
>some egg me on
>I pull up, she tells me her room number
>the way shes talking makes me suspicious
>i decide fuck it, I'm going in, do it for the meme.

cont?

>>36962211
I only had to ride out 4 months of stepping on eggshells but she was kind of annoying, cute and inexperienced but annoying.

>>36962223
Go on anon, this seems interesting

>>36962235
>4 months
>pumped and dumped

>>36962262
Spotted the autistic 20 year old neet

>>36962271
>projection: the post
Sticking around for 4 months isn't a pump and dump. Half the retards on this board would even know that

>>36962262
4 months until she turned 18 retard, fucked her a dozen times then turned ghost.

>>36962002
Walked down a hallway without running

>>36962223
>>36962253
cont.

>I'm in the hotel lobby
>ask the man at the front desk a question
>"Where is room 143? Is it in this building?"
>He looks at me blankly before answering
>"Yes."
>a long pause, felt like minutes, probably only seconds
>"Well where is it?"
>"What's your name?"
>"Anon."
>he typed my name into his computer
>It's not showing up with any rooms
>"Your name isn't in here. Do you know the name of the person you're meeting here?"
>"no... I'll just have them come get me."
>pull out phone and predetermined that if this lady was real, she would be a landwhale.
>decide that when I see her, I would yell "DAMN YOU A FAT BITCH" and run
>I text her to come get me
>about 3 minutes later the whole building starts to shake
>as she waddles to the front desk, the glass windows start to crack
>she can see that I'm nervous
>"First time?"
>fuck man, play it cool.
>"nah."

>>36962002
stood up for myself

>>36962314
Hit too close to home man

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>>36962315
Th- ... That was it?

>>36962311
So you're a pedo?
Origonalo cop

>>36962311
>fucked her a dozen times
NOT a pump and dump. Try again sweetie

>>36962002
Raped an unconscious Girl.

>>36962345
It's legal to fuck girls as young as 15 in like most places that people actually live.

>>36962311
>fucked a 14 year old
That's fucked man. Kill yourself

>>36962345
Legal in my state retard

>>36962346
hurr durr fucking a girl a dozen times over the course of 2 weeks and never speaking to her again qualifies as a pump and dump
boy you sure are dumb

>>36962377
christ is it real retard hours right now?

>>36962389
Looks like it is cause your dumbfuck ass keeps posting

>>36962412
Haha alright man good luck with that virgin rage

Went out to dinner with 1 girl and had sex with 2 other girls in 1 day.

/fit/ and Asia lads.

>>36962362
>pedophilia is not pedophilia if it's legal

>>36962087
Let me guess, you turned 2880 degrees and walked away.

>>36962378
>still has no idea what a pump is
Lmao

>>36962436 meant for
>>36962378
Copo lrogo

>>36962436
You don't know what pedophilia means do you?

>>36962440
I'm sure someone that's never pumped at all knows better

>>36962429
>resorts to ad hominem because the doesn't know what a pump and dump is
Stay mad cuckboy

>>36962002
I fucked 2 virgins at the same time as my first time, dated them, then proceeded to consider that a "normal" sex life for 5 years.

>>36962315
cont.

>she walks me to her room
>I enter the room, scared it's a set up and I'm about to be raped by a nigger
>She locks the door behind us after we enter.
>"Can I check the closets and room?"
>"Hehe, go ahead, I understand."
>check the bathroom and closet, it's all empty
>she sits on one side of couch, the other side pops up
>I sit on the high end to bring it back down
>she starts to talk to me
>"So you're on break right now?"
>"Yeah."
>"So you're in a hurry?"
>"Not really."
>"You like older women?"
>Of course not you dumb cunt, you just happen to have a vagina and you're easy "Yeah."
>"Lots of younger boys like older women."
>she goes on about all the young men she has fucked ever since her husband initiated the divorce
>The clock is ticking, I'm already late getting back to work from break
>I make the first move
>I climb this mountain of a woman to reach her lips and we start making out
>she fucking straddles me
>lungs losing out on air
>getting weaker and weaker, I move this to the bed
>I suck on her titties
>I pull down her panties and start licking her pussy
>tastes a bit like stale piss
>shes obviously drunk, moaning a ton as a result
>eventually I pull my cock out and climb mt Everest again
>push my noodle into one of her caves
>so loose, feel like an explorer
>proceed to pump for about a minute
>cum immediately cause I imagine I'm pumping someone thinner and hotter
>keep humping cause I like to service m'ladys
>she moans for me to go slower
>proceed for about 3 more minutes, have to stifle my laughter
>I had my mic on my phone enabled in the discord server the whole time
>about 15 friends/strangers are listening to me pump a landwhale
>phone is literally buzzing nonstop from notifications
>shove face in landwhales tits so she doesn't see me laughing

>>36962340
no, there's more to it, just wait for the end.

A girl once asked me out.

Unfortunately once that happened it was easy to see past my facade of not being an emotionally distant autist terrified of intimacy and it was called off in a week.

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>>36962002

In Japanese class I act like I'm weird-out by what the other animefags say, all to try to convince a girl I'm not like them.

>>36962482
go on, tell us moar

>6th grade
>girl asks me to hug her
>I assume she's trying to tease me and make me feel uncomfortable since I'm quiet and shy all the time
>hug her anyway

I showed her

>>36962464
Are you literally retarded, or just pretending?

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>>36962482
cont.

>after a few more minutes, remember I have work
>I get off her, she slips under blankets, expecting me to cuddle
>women always want to fucking cuddle after fucking
>i just put on my clothes
>I grab my phone that's still buzzing off the hook
>I unsilence it and say
>"Can you guys hear me?"
>a girl says "Yeah?"
>everybody else is shooshing one another
>I look the landwhale dead in the eyes with the phone in front of my mouth, she can hear every single word
>I continue to stare her in the eyes and say
>"You know what they call me? They call me the minute man"
>the entire discord voice chat bursts out in laughter
>She's got this confused look on her face
>I turn around, unlock the door, and sprint outta there
>It's raining once I get outside
>I have been rebirthed by God himself
>Thank you mother nature
>She texts me a few minutes later calling me an asshole
>She tells me she's got herpes
>I tell her I've already got em
>She texts back "Do you really?"
>She's clearly worried, I called her out on her bluff with my own bluff
>dumb bitches gonna be bitches
>mfw the whole thing was recorded
>mfw I have the link to the recording
>mfw I always go back every few weeks to listen to it all over again.

I'll post the link if there's any interest.

>>36962002
>be me at 14
>girl asks me to be her bf
>she was hot 8/10
>tell her to fuck off and stop being a whore
>continue being a virgin for the next 5 years
>she had cancer and died last year
>that showed her

>>36962574
>I'll post the link if there's any interest.
YES YES YES YOU MADMAN

>>36962574
post pls, fast

Fucked a drunk 16-yo slag after buying her a pack of cigs. I was 21.

Then later on I fucked a married woman.

had a mff threesome i guess

https://strawpoll.com/fs7eec5

>>36962587
>>36962599

Alright, here you go.

https://soundcloud.com/user-458703355/dude-bangs-tinder-whore-on-discord

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>>36962630
kek, you are god, thanks anon.

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>>36962630
post face pic and tinder slut face pic

>>36962630
FUCKIN' LOL

EVEN THE FUCKING GIRL IS IN ON IT LMAO

>>36962630
WHAT THE FUCK POSTING IN LEGENDARY THREAD

>>36962630
a god among men

you sound like a cool guy

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>>36962630
my fucking sides are in complete universal orbit

>In highschool, sitting with a friend in the bus
>Some girl is making fun of him to his face
>She's a popular stacy, but she had fucked up teeth
>Get really pissed off because she's making fun of my friend who had a rare form of physical disability
>I start making fun of her teeth to her face
>She starts to cry
>Irony has it that years later, they ended up dating

>A couple years ago
>Attention whore at party is all "me me me me give me attention me me me
>She's all "I don't like sex blablabla"
I go "Yeah but you sure love attention"
>It's not even a good call, but it pissed her off.

I'm somewhat of a normie, but I generally have zero patience with female bullshit so I'm usually ice cold all the time with them.

They think I hate them and because of that I can never really get anywhere with them. It sucks but, for real, women have the most bullshit insecurities and compensation behavior and I cannot for the love of me tolerate that shit. Every guy is always all chivalrous and shit with them, pretending to be interested and shit because they wanna plow, but it's benign and transparent. I don't want that shit. You are expected to enable female insecurities in exchange for sex, but I'll never do that. If I have a problem I tell it to your face.

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>be 6'6" non deformed autistic virgin
>stacey in room next door (uni) fucking a chad, can hear it like usual
>go out for shit
>chad standing in doorway of staceys room, on the way to toilet
>chad says something about me to stacey which makes her laugh
>tell him to fuck off
>gets in my face and says some half aggressive insult
>look straight down at him
>fuck off midget I need a shit
>casually go to the toilet
>hear stacey laughing at chad while having a shit

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>>36962630
>somethings happening
>SHH SHH
>SHH SHH SHH SHH
>oh he's taking off his pants!
>my dude is getting it!

You are fucking god among men, my friend

Late night on the train, I started talking with a bunch of drunk girls.

I invite them over to my favorite bar and started making out with the hottest one by the end of the night

>>36963015
This. I wish all men had zero tolerance for female bullshit. Then maybe they'd get personalities and start being interesting.

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>had a female room mate
>she was always flirting with me being touchy feely
>never giving me her pussy though
>go to one of her Stacy drenched parties
>A girl asks me if she is my gf
>"nah she is just a friend"
>"she definitely likes you though!"
>"whatever I don't find her hot enough"
>this must have triggered her Chad radar or something because very soon she started making out with me
>I bring her over my house
>while I fuck her she moans and squeals the loudest possible so my friend can hear her
>she even lets me fuck her in the ass

This was a one time thing. I'm definitely not a Chad

>>36963349
You're a fucking normie is what you are

>>36963064
This pasta again. No wonder you are a virgin, you are autistic even by /r9k/ standards.

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I just did this last night to some cunt who sent me nudes and I called her a whore afterwards and blocked her.

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>>36963480

we go back a few months but long story short, some hacker fuck named AI on the discord was white knighting for her

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>>36963491

He threatened to send to my family various clips of me being racist/misogynistic as well as to my employers to try and get me fired

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>>36963504

That was 4 months ago. Dropped back in to see how things were going. Apparently AI is now in prison, or at the very least, in hiding. I messaged her to verify this, because I know if I message her, he inevitably shows up VERY quickly.

>>36963516
fuck off with all that, we don't even have context for half of the shit in the convo, even if it was interesting

>>36962630
Holy fucking shit a greentext is real for once. That roastie had an annoying voice by the way.

>>36963212
Never, they'd just continue to whine and off themselves.

Messaging a qt asian waitress on wechat right now that I asked out at a sushi place

I once had three dates In a single day. One of the busiest days of my life.

Girl was getting hit on on the tram, was obviously uncomfortable. So I stepped in and told him to fuck off.

>tfw I'm a girl too

>>36962314
kek, originally this

>>36962630
your discord friends are retards though

>>36962574
nigga post it NOW

>>36962630
>https://soundcloud.com/user-458703355/dude-bangs-tinder-whore-on-discord
HERE WE GO, IN EARLY ON SCREENCAP

>>36963687
I don't think I can be friends with girls. They're so goddamn boring; all they talk about is themselves.

>>36962630
are you black? You sound like it

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>>36962630
Holy Shit good work you glorious bastard.

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>>36962630
holy shit include me in the screencap
original comment

Had sex with an asian nerd girl hours after she broke up with her bf - at his going away party, no less.

>>36962002
stuck my benis inside a vagoo
felt god mong

>>36962574
If you serve this will be great greentext

>>36964604
Oh, fuck, he did! Excuse muh autism

>>36962167
If you toyed with her then it would count. Ignoring her is noble but not Chad.

>>36962630
hooooooly fuck lmao dude i couldnt even imagine that shit.

>>36964353
I really doubt that anyone is going to screencap this.

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>>36962630
Fucking
l e g e n d
e
g
e
n
d

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Purposefully made GF jealous by hanging out with a prettier female friend and complimenting other girls while we were out in public.

It was a huge red pill for me. I was being a little beta shit and acting awful to try to get her to dump me but it had the opposite effect.

>>36964915
because you acknowledge the beauty of other girls, she becomes more invested towards pleasing you. So you occupy her thoughts more and you become less likely to get cucked as she grows to depend on you more and more.

>>36962002
>be on the bus to grandma
>for some reason this bus often attracts crazies and hobos
>usually try to ignore them, but had some really bad day
>dude sits facing me and spouts his retardation for 5 minute straight
>ask him to stop talking
>he starts insulting me
>tell him that he either shuts the fuck up or I'm going to throw him out on next stop while pointing at the door
>says some shit about choping my hand off
>grab him by the shirt and lift him of his chair
>"you were saying something faggot?"
>he doesn't say anything and tries to look away
>grab him by hair and force him to look at me
>"behave or you going to regret this"
>put him down and continue ride

He left at next stop, luckily, because I was barely able to control the shaking and it would probably undermine my message a bit.

>>36962167
pump & dump would be more chaddy thing to do

>>36962630
ya'll mind if we get in the screencap

Made out with two girls at once in the back of a car, who both said they wanted to suck my dick. One rubbed me over the pants. In the end I chickened out.

That was like 3 years ago and I'm still a virgin.

>>36965750
what do you mean you chickened out? did you say "no don't suck my dick"?

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>>36962587

holyeyeyey fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk


Include me in the reddit

I kept my roommates up late 2 nights in a row cause I had 2 different girls over. Only had sex with one of them tho.

>>36962630

This is Why I still come here. Wonderful delivery Anon

>>36962002

>Engineering major
>last year of my "bachelors", there was a sort of competition to build drones that could do stuff, held between european unis
>Go to scandinavia with some guys from my uni's team.
>after the contest I co to a sort of bar/club music thing with the team Chad. (the rest of the team were pajeets who were eating fast food or sperging around at the hotel or something)
>sort of follow in Chad's shadow around through all the people dancing and having a great time.
>he's checking out girls, sometimes talking to them, and just moving around like he owns the place.
>at one point 2 girls hear us speaking french
>tell us it's really cool, ask us to say stuff in french for their snapchat stories.
>he just starts saying bullshit normie stuff
>I tell the girls all the things nasty I'd do to them, in french, thinking they don't understand and are just putting in on snapchat.
>turns out one of them had google text-to-speech open
>she translated a lot what I said
>looks at me, smiles, and starts putting her arm around me
>I can feel the side of her tit pressing against my chest.
>We stay like this for around 90 more seconds listening to Chad make bad jokes in bad english
>we go outside
>we make out for about 2 hours in various places, then I bang her in the middle some sort of large public lawn

It was my first and only time having sex, too.

>>36963731

So did I

Kissed one and touched her ass in a dark alley

Chad me where are youuuu

>>36964915
I dunno, I was purposely really disrespectful to a girl I wanted to break up with and she eventually lashed out and broke up

a girl in school asked where im from and I answered

>>36963992
He sounds nothing like a black person

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>elementary school
>get in a fight
>angry nigger pins me down
>tell him "Stop smiling like a retard, I can see your fucked up teeth"
>he closes his mouth, gets up and walks away, visibly hurt

Cheated on my gf without a rubber and had sex with her like two hours later.

>>36966466
Nevermind, upon hearing it again, he does sound black.

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>>36962630
fucking roastie and chad having sex with chad friends listening this is why r9k is fukcing tash chads everywhere

>>36966601
Thanks for sharing, I had a good jej.

>>36962630
Fuuuuuuck i missed my chance to be in the cap

>>36965995
If this is real anon, you did a good job.

>>36962002
got tired of a popular girl playing games with me so one night when i was dropping her off i grabbed her ass and pulled her into making out.
relationship lasted 2 years

>>36962630
is this the 4chan random discord? The deep voice guy sounds familiar.

There are no more public links from discord server sites, post link?

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>>36962630
>>36967327

>4chan Random discord
>cheated on my wife
Now I know it is because I heard the "mwuah" meme and I think the guy who had sex is also the guy who came on his dog.

post link pls

>>36962630
This thread is glorious
Include me in the screencap