Off your chest Thread

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How the fuck can I have faith in myself? It seems like no matter what I do, no matter what I accomplish, I will always be "that kid". The special ed kid. The Tard. No matter where I go, the normies smell the sped off of me, and I will never be respected. I will always be talked down to, and treated like Im five, and I honestly dont see myself reaching 30 without eating a gun. I just want to stop feeling stupid god dammit. Fuck this retarded meme.

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I'm trying to kill myself but I forgot where I hid my fucking Sig

>and my ammo is missing too, not in its usual spot.

>>36952327
don't pander to them
don't try to fit in, but don't isolate yourself either

am diagnosed sperg, believe me you will only ever get along with 5-15% of people anyway. If people are assholes to you, or seem really boring and normie, then don't bother. I still get blanked by stupid normalfag cunts who don't care about anything I say or get any reference.

narcissism, rage, and the liberation of being an asshole have helped my social skills more than any positivity or being kind. normies step on the kind unless they have another redeeming quality. Which makes sense, as I don't care to talk to boring people either.

Be yourself but more yourself than you in some anime-inspirational way. Stop holding back the floodgates and pretending and just be a retard or a cunt, doesn't matter. It's all practice and shit.

you'll never be normal or have normal social relations, don't hurt yourself trying. Find the nerds, outcasts and retards and make friends with them. Use them as stepping stones, because you're probably worse off than them anyway.

this world is cancer and probably the only way not to sudoku for me is to try not to play by its arbitrary rules, not that i'm doing it to a degree where i think I'm never gonna sudoku myself

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By the time I can start working on being a better person it'll be too late. I've missed out and I'm still missing out but I can't do anything yet. I just hope I can find happiness in something, because I know it won't be in other people's company.

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to everyone i held off on telling to fuck off due to me over restraint. Struggle nation, everyone of you faggots that said i would be dead and not be able to do anything and that i would kill myself yet you guys are lower lows than i've ever been at. Fuck all of you faggots, its a shame i never i got to actually say this to all of you back then but such is life... enjoy knowing that a literal autisti is doing better than you cunts

>>36952327
On a scale of 1 to Downy how spectrum are you

>>36951297
Im realizing how important friendship is. I mean I guess I already knew, but it's insane to actually experience it. I've been lonely for a while now. I had some best friends from high school and we kept planning to meet up but I kept flaking out because I was ashamed of myself and scared they would see how much of a loser I am. They also seemed to keep backing out every time we planned to meet up. Yesterday we finally actually met up. It was awkward as fuck but we pushed through. We all confided that we're in similar life situations, all feel the same lack of purpose or drive. We just hung out all day doing nothing but it felt good to do nothing with friends. My mood and health feels way better now, I feel more happy. I also feel like my cognitive ability has improved drastically. I'm reading faster and understanding more, it's like the loneliness was causing my mind to deteriorate, which is actually a real thing

Do you not want to meet again because my dick went limp twice?

I had had sex 36 hours before I "fucked" you and I had sex with 2 other women in less than 24 hours the week after I SWEAR MY DICK WORKS AND I'M AT THE PEAK OF MY SEX LIFE

Fucking normie getting what he deserves, amirite?
I hope the fact that I'm 1.70m at least motivates you.

Anyone else scared of moving out of their parents house? I'm working a job where the pay isn't that great just so I don't have to move out. If I looked in the city I'm sure I could find something that pays more. But I'm so scared that something will go wrong and I'll lose the new job and won't be able to find another one and will be stuck as a NEET again. Also I've never lived on my own so I have no idea how to go about finding an apartment and cooking for myself and shit.

>>36953190
Probably a 5

ORAgondola

I don't have anything to vent right now, but thanks for making this thread, OP.

Failing my best class, want to die, and probably a psychopath

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Some jackass in my uni group project did absolutely nothing so I took his name off the paper. Transferred leadership to other group faggot and let him take the heat. Jackass bombs class since 1/3 grades. Kid ended up getting his ass beat by jackass in the parking lot. Still dont feel bad man

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wish my dad would get so mad at me when i drink even if i have work tomorrow

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>>36951297
Something needs to fucking change for me right fucking now
The only things I feel are apathy, emptyness, and being disconnected from reality

>>36951297
You guys ever seen those memes that say all of your problems are imaginary and could be fixed with any bit of motivation at all? That's actually me. I get told frequently that I probably should have a girlfriend if I tried. Acquaintances, friends, even a few girls tell me this and while I'm flattered, I still do nothing. I don't know why, but instead of confronting my inner emptiness, I just let it melt away into a more content emptiness. Maybe I'm just scared because my oneitis ruined everything all through high school, maybe I'm just a bit too beta and could fix it with better posture or some bullshit, all I know is I could help myself at any moment but I'd rather play vidya, masturbate, and coast through college. I'm going to be forced to get a job and get out there this summer though, so I'm hoping that's my chance to get out of my shell.

My roommate doesn't live here anymore more and it makes me feel like shit

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Two days ago I came back home from a nightwalk. As I crept into the kitchen to eat something I heard someone crying in the bathroom. I put away my jacket and walked towards the crying.

I knocked on the door and my pregnant mother answered. I asked what's wrong and she just kept crying. I went in and the toilet bowl was full of blood, the look in her eyes will forever haunt me.

She said "it's happening again" and continued sobbing in front of the mirror with bloody underwear in the sink. All I could say was "I'm so sorry".

I asked her if she wanted to go to the emergency room and she said "there's no point". The next day we went to the hospital and they told her that there was no heartbeat. She kept her composure while the doctors spoke to her and as soon as they left she broke down.

I started crying as well, I was expecting the worst but hoped for the best and it just didn't work out. My mother's made lots of mistakes in her life but seeing her so vulnerable just tore me the fuck up.

Tommorow she's going to the hospital so they could scrape it out, she referred to it as "Peanut" all the time. So much suffering in this shitty world, I only hope God exists so I could spit in his face.

Sorry for the novel but this just fucked me up, pretty gay but I'm crying as I type this right now

I am going to ruin this friendship with my mental breakdown BS that's been going on. I have no idea what's triggered this shit, but I know that this person is lying to me; they say that they'll always be here... and will always be patient with me, etc etc.

But that's what the last best friend said.

Before they left.

So forgive me, J, for not believing you.

>>36954816

Jesus fucking original Christ.

>>36951297
I work at google and make 200k a year, but i hate my job. I can't tell anyone in my family because they will all resent me for making so much and tell me how lucky i am. But i live alone, and my gf just broke up with me. I hate my boss and his boss and I hate the work I do, and I wake up every morning depressed about having to see my shitty coworkers every fucking day.

>>36955712
What do you hate about it anon? I heard google is a shit job if you're young, and that you should quit after a hear or two and just have it on your resume to do something you're actually into. Note: I know very little about programming and even less about programming careers

>>36955856
I sort security bugs that get reported on android; we basically look at them, do root cause analysis, and decide how bad they are (which determined how much we pay the external researchers). our small team has to deal with hundreds per week, and we are not fast enough, and the process is super boring and time consuming. Also many of my coworkers are super abrasive people and its hard to work with them

>>36955935
Why not quit? Save up and then move to something else. Surely with google on your resume your options are pretty vast. Also am I making a mistake by starting off with C? I started with Python for a while and a bit of c++, enough to learn the basics at least, but I'd still say I'm a complete beginner.

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>>36955970
Well if it helps I reported you for being underage so maybe you'll get better after leaving this shithole.

>>36956012
I've got about 30k saved now, and I'm waiting for another 60k in stock to vest in a few months, then I'm gone. I moved to the west coast and it has literally brought me nothing but unhappiness, so im getting the fuck out.

also C is probably a mistake for most jobs, and I really like C. sadly these days programming shops dont need "hardcore" shit in C and python will do.

>>36956025
Announcing your report is against the rules anon.
>>36955970
Dude hang in there. Not gonna say it gets much better, but you'll feel less suicidal when you get a bit older. Where do you live?

>>36953291
Sometimes in the middle of sex I go soft because I realize it's literally a meaningless act, as I'm wearing a condom, and it all feels so fucking pointless even though I really do like her. I've explained this to her but she won't listen.
I fucking hate how my erection means so much to her. Maybe I'm just a meme.

>>36953709
I'm proud of you anon
they said I could be anything so I was original

>>36956070
It's more of a hobby, although if I like programming a lot or get particularly talented at it I would definitely try to get a job out of it.

Good luck man, things may be rough now but money will give you options to find happiness I think. If you don't like the west coast, I'd say avoid the south. It's even worse.

>>36951297
I've been slogging through the past few months just so I can go on vacation to nipland and south korea. Just recently found out that it might be cancelled.
>me
>ever being happy
murphy's law is real

>>36956123
I'm going to move back to massachusetts and pray that somehow i can work things out with my ex

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>>36956077
>Announcing your report is against the rules anon

NEETs can't really be robots because suffering is the one flag that all true robots are united under and NEETs are just too happy

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>>36954816
Were you competing for king of the thread? Fuck this shit.

I wanna die. I was the kid who successfully transitioned from the bullied autistic kid in primary school, to an asshole chad normie in highschool, i lied about what i liked and how i felt about things just to fit in. Got to age 16 at the point i realised what i had become and how much these 'friends' really cared about me. I got depressed from this and a lack of gf and had an 'incident'. They put me on the anti-depressant sertaline, which just made me emotionally numb, i cant feel alive or happy anymore, been on it for about a year now, none of these 'friends' even know i was depressed, and it wasnt like i wss tryna hide it. I try to come here and still feel like an outsider
>Is there no place i belong?
>Is there nowhere i can feel safe?

>>36955970
>17
at least wait for shit to really hit the fan before you decide it's not worth trying.

>>36956174
anon, I know it's hard but you have to drop the drugs forever
you know you don't need it
if you can afford it, move to some third world place like the philippines or south america, I've seen many white dudes be successful there because we all love white cock

>>36951297
I can't remember most of the things that used to make me happy

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I really want to kill myself but I know if I do my family won't take care of the """"family dog""""" as well I do and they'll probably even put him in the pound since I'm the only one in my family that actually pays for his grooming and vet visits and that dog has shown me so much love I can't let him down.

>>36956384
Don't worry anon, dogs don't live long

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>have one friend i sit with in this semesters lectures
>we always sit at the back making smart remarks but otherwise dont distract eachother too mcuh
>today im at the back row waiting
>she comes in and we make eye contact
>smile
>sits in the first few rows by herself
>tfw she'd rather sit alone than with me

I CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT I DID WRONG WHY DOES SHE HATE ME ALL OF A SUDDEN

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>tfw feelings of no gf have been getting bad lately
>tfw keep posting contact info hoping someone will talk to me
>tfw keep posting pictures of myself online for people hoping they get off to them
>tfw keep telling myself I'll lose weight today but never do it
>tfw keep thinking about what I'm going to do with my life but have to stop after 40 seconds because I'll have a panic attack
>tfw going to get drunk and try not to hurt myself again tonight

The feelings of no gf are so weird. It's like this screeching feeling of isolation and loneliness combined with all the stuff I've missed and all the stuff I'm still yet to try which possibly might never happen. Then all the panic and fear of the future and constant intrusive thoughts of how much of a failure I am at 22 as a NEET of 4 years without a single friend and it's too much to bare. I'm even scared of going to sleep at this point because I've had nightmares that have almost violently woken me up on the verge of a panic attack the last 5 nights in a row.

I don't want to have to go outside, I don't want to have to work, I just want to stay in a room with a bed, window, desk, and internet connection. I want to die, I should be beaten and killed, I shouldn't be allowed to live, how can one person fuck up every opportunity given to them? How can one person make people hate them so quickly? How can one person be so gullible?

>>36956424
Maybe she wanted to focus on the class due to grades or what not

>>36951297
Its probably going to bother me being full of so much hate.

>stupid niggers going to bed easy at night after fucking with my life
>they have no idea how close I am to killing them

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I have been mentally decaying for a while now.
I can't concentrate and cannot do anything productive. I need 10 hours of sleep minimum and don't have the will to live.
I'm hopelessly in love with my ex that hates my guts and I cannot find another woman that measures up.
All people are disgusting inside and out, and when you find someone that breaks the rule you feel even more suicidal.
I hate my job and I have no future. I have no passion and no way of developing myself.
I'd rather hell honestly

>>36956078
shit the feels man, me too with my ex-gf
its gotten to the point that I've been depressed so long in my life I don't even know if I like sex, if I'm some kind of semi-asexual freak who can masturbate to any of the tamest shit around e.g. lingerie but hates having sex for the sheer effort and human contact involved.

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>>36951297
>any time i see someone, i imagine them being violently dismembered
>when i walk into my kitchen, i imagine gutting myself with a knife
>constantly imagine myself being ripped apart
>hear screams coming from inside my mind 24/7
>sometimes they are my own
>sometimes they are others

do i have schizophrenia?

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>>36951297
I made a thread about this an hour ago, but its pretty much dead, so i'll post my story here again.

>be me
>living in a middle class suburb outside of Burlington, Vermont.
>originally a liberal
>start to progressively become more and more conservative over the last 7-8 months.
>2 months ago start to think about how the government should shoot any illegal Mexican families that refuse to leave the country in order to help maintain white people as the largest race in America.
>go on a trip with my family into Arizona 2 and a half weeks ago.
>stop at a little restaurant in a small town in Arizona.
>See a cute white boy behind me in line, about 8 years old.
>get my food and sit down
>see him go and sit down with his family
>I can tell by looking at his family and looking more closely at him that he's hispanic.
>leave my table to go walk to the bathroom (which is in the backyard of this restaurant)
>start crying uncontrollably on the way there, like I was trying to force it back but it was like my eyes were under pressure.
>compose myself and go back to my table, without saying a word and without anyone noticing.

I've felt kind of odd since the whole thing happened (though I'm still a white nationalist). Still, I haven't even cried in like 2 years or something. Do you have any advice for me?

>>36952344
Don't use a gun, it'll be added to gun death statistics by gun grabbers

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I'm tired of being "unlucky". From the moment of my conception I rolled some shit genes that made me ugly and short and filled with insecurity and anxieties and rolled a shit life of poverty or wageslavery and I'm so tired of having to continue this facade that masks my unhappiness. My parents had a hard life and my Mom always told me to be strong because life was a struggle but can something please just go my ways once, just PLEASE.

I'm just so exhausted and from the moment I wake up it feels like my shoulders are a thousand times heavier and if one night I closed my eyes and slept forever I would be thankful to the merciful God who let me rest.

>>36956757
Why'd you cry anon? I don't understand.

>>36956630
Other than the voices thats OCD

>>36951297
I hate people. I hate how nice I am to people and they just take advantage of me and use me for their own good. It's making me antisocial. I don't want to make friends or be around anyone anymore, I don't want to leave my house at times. Humans treat me horribly because I'm such a sperg. I'm not trying to be a victim here. I know I should have made better decisions on who I let close, but I've seen this happen so many times that it just seems more realistic to avoid problems by avoiding people. Maybe I'll never experience what it's like to have love or true friendships. I just hope I can grow to accept that and stop being so fucking nice and letting the cycle repeat. I just want to be happier and have something to look forward to. I live in a stage of constant depression and I have lost all motivation to even try to be better. What's the point if someday we will all die and all that we have known will turn to dust?

>>36956757
>running into white illegals

I don't believe you. I live in a border state, too. Rich legal nationals? Maybe. Not a real illegal immigrant.

>>36956469
anon post contact maybe some people will be your friends. tell us about yourself.

A friend who browses here a lot has been talking about suicide more often, but I can't tell him not to with a clear conscience because his life is fucked. I try to help him, but most of the shit that he's dealing with is actually pretty bad.

>>36956926
Do you have anyway of telling people he knows irl?

I hate my wife, that stupid huge expensive house she made us buy that we'll be paying off for the next 25 years, my awful job ect

>>36951297
>girl that I kinda like says that she thinks I'm cute and we should go on a date
>say sure, lets go saturday
>saturday morning says her sister just showed up in town so she's busy but asks to reschedule
>yeah ok fine
>reschedule for tomorrow
>today tells me she doesn't think we should go on a date since shes going to move back home next week and then next semester will be abroad but she likes me as a person and wants to see what happens after that

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>>36956893
First of all, I live in Vermont, not a border state.
Second of all, I never said they were illegals, and they probably weren't (since they spoke english normally without an accent). They were probably hispanic though because they were sort of darkish skinned (about the level of a southern Italian) but one of them was talking in Spanish for a minute or two to the others. (I was saying they looked white in the story, not that they were genuinely white, if that clarifies things).

>>36956878

I don't know exactly. But I think I felt upset because I had spent a lot of time in the last 2 months just being alone in my room thinking that if the United States had to eventually resort to killing mexican/hispanic children in order to protect American sovereignty/remove illegal immigrants than it would be justified, and seeing somebody who was effectively ethnically the same as an illegal immigrant made me realize that the people who would be killed by this would look like him, which made me upset.

I'm still against illegal immigration, but I believe that the goal of deportation can probably be accomplished without killing Mexican children.

>>36956981
Just meet up with her "to talk about it' and act sexual (flirt, touch her casually, etc). You're already half way there lad, don't need a date to get her done.

My sister seems like she's unironically hitting on me or at least attracted to me sexually. I know that its kind of a meme or a sexual fantasy for a lot of people on here but it's a lot weirder when you think about it in reality and I have no idea what to do

>>36956925
>anon post contact maybe some people will be your friends. tell us about yourself.
I don't post info when I complain about being alone because then they're just adding me out of pity and not actual interest.

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>>36957099
>I believe that the goal of deportation can probably be accomplished without killing Mexican children.

no shit

>>36956961
I'm pretty much his only friend and his family knows but think he's just edgy.

I JUST WANT A FEMBOT TO TALK TO ME

christ what is it with you women. So fucking fickle. Even if you just say "kiss my ass", at least it'll be some female interaction.

I know fembots are here. I know biological females are reading this right now. You'd better post or I'm gonna use meme magic on you

I had to do 3 captchas picking street signs what is this shit

>>36957238
fembot here, kiss my ass, you're a desperate loser

>>36957270
you're just a man trying to bring me down, begone

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>>36954816
Fuck her and fuck any parent that has more than one child after the other one is already grown. It's a fucking betrayal. My mom had my little sister over 10 fucking years after she had me and spent said ten years saying how much she loved me and how I was the light of her life and on and on. Yet she just shits out another kid with another guy like it's fucking nothing. Like I'm just dispensable trash. Bullshit and lies. Fuck her. Fuck your mom and fuck roasties.

fembot here, my stacey best friend is constantly using me as an outlet for her anxiety and it's really bringing me down.

>>36957354
lmao this fucking post
ENTITLED
N
T
I
T
L
E
D

>>36956757
Hmm...If the problem was that you feel ""racist "" because you want more border security then don't because that's not racist at all and it's perfectly reasonable. Wanting to keep the US or Europe or whatever primarily white is a valid opinion to have.

However feeling empathy towards different groups of people isn't a bad thing, 4chan is a circlejerk of contrarian opinions and as a result """"we"""" see the worst parts of an ethinic, or racial, or religious group and apply that worst part to the majority. If you think that all blacks are muh dick monkeys or all hispanics are gangbangers or all chinks are xenophobes etc etc by generalizing like that you become the same as the stupid fucking kiddies on their social media parading themselves as champions of social justice because they say stupid erroneous shit like "all white men are evil". No one ever thinks "because Confucius was Chinese, all Chinese are as wise as Confucius".

Just...judge individuals and not groups, be a good lad and don't be a cunt know what I'm saying?

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>>36956770

this is the main reason why i'd never shoot myself

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Everything is bothering me. Why is this world such a living hell.

I don't know if my problems are any more or less than other people's and my own pain is confusing
I guess I haven't killed myself so it can't be that bad

>>36954816
I'll add that it would make literally no difference if you or I died to these roasties. You are nothing to them but an accessory. She'd just shit out another and forget about you because your a little dog in a hand bag to her.
>>36957380
>t. proud cuck

>tfw mildly autistic and got hired to train autistic people around my age in career and interview skills when I barely know what the fuck I'm doing

How am I supposed to tell them how to act in an interview when I can't even get through one without the interviewer commenting on my nervousness? Everyone is proud of me for getting this job but I'm freaked the fuck out and feel unqualified.

>>36957354
Your sister is happy and you're here on 4chan crying bitter tears because you can't be mama's boy anymore. I wish I could show this post to your mom so she could tell you how much more proud she is of your sister than she is of you and affirming your deep seated insecurities of how much more she loves your sister than you.

Cry more bitch b0i

hey guys. I just got back home after college, and I can't stop thinking about my ex. Let me try and greentext the tale quickly
>start dating beginning of grade 11
>break up summer before college, bu still good friends
>find out week after we broke up she hooked up with a mutual friend
>got angry and told her off, no longer friends
>felt bad because I truly loved this girl
>semi-rekindled friendship through text but have not hung out in person

Now that we are back in the same town I cannot stop thinking about her and it is depressing as hell. I know for a fact she has moved on, and I dont know why I cant. I've hooked up with multiple girls since then. I'm afraid I am still in love with her after all this time. I still want to be friends with her, but I don't think I can emotionally handle seeing her in person.

>>36957483
If you have a much younger sibling and think this then you are the literal definition of a cuckold. If not then don't talk about situations you know fuck all about.

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>>36957525
Don't post again my guy, everyone itt is laughing at you and I don't want to embarrass you a third time

>>36957382
Same here, just because depressed people like me decide I'm done with everything, shouldn't mean everyone else is left defenseless. If I ever muster up the courage to actually do it I'll find an alternate means.

>>36957570
>everyone itt
>you and one other fuckhead
Made me think. Go lick your mom's clit somewhere else bud.

>>36957570
that chart is unironically true for 4chan

The only females to say I'm good looking;
>my mother
>my therapist

Yeeeeaaaahhhh it's not going great OP, it's not great.

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>>36957609
Just because everybody is avoiding the retard in the room doesn't mean they aren't laughing at him.

Or what did mommy never teach you to not shame yourself wah wah

>>36957644
Guess I struck a nerve with the asshurt plebbitor. Need to go somewhere else where other people's opinions don't violate your safe space?

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>>36957518
Get your normie problems off my fucking board REEEEEEEEE

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>>36957354
Just saw that you replied to me and I've got to say that you're either an edgy teenager or an insufferable narcissistic faggot. How can one person be so entitled and self absorbed to think this way? Go fuck yourself you idiot.

>>36951297
Still fantasize about the life I could've had with this sweet girl. Dates, kissing, laughter and holding hands.

These dreams haunt me.

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What's bothering me Lately is my lack of social motivation. I'm struggling to keep going to my usual activities, like the gym, and bars and clubs and things. I just feel hollow and without any kind of motivation to do these things. Stuck in a slump.

>>36957518

you're not in love you're just infatuated because she was your gf for so long (prob first too amirite?)

she even fucked ur friend a week after u broke up u fucking idiot.

>>36957306
it's funny because im really a girl lol
you forgot to call me roastie. then ill begone.

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>got courage to send face pic to someone i like online
>they said i looked tired

it's true but... i wish you'd said 'you look nice'

>>36957238
http://vocaroo.com/i/s18q3atGSWps

The capchas have been ridiculous lately

>>36957870
I don't call women roasties, now please stop being mean to me, I'm just lonely.

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>>36957809

ive been there for the past year. Even pure pleasure activities like watching shows, playing games, jerking off, having sex, NOTHING is enticing anymore

i could lay in bed all day staring at the wall. i can only do simple as fuck tasks when im drunk as fuck now. i cant remember the last time i played a game, watched a movie, or had sex while sober. being drunk is the only thing that dulls whatever is dulling me from doing things when im sober

>>36957889
Take another when you aren't tired?

>>36957857
Basically my first yes. As far as I know they just kissed, but I wouldn't even want to know if they did more. Do you think its worth attempting to stay friends? Whenever I hear her mentioned my heart instantly sinks

>>36957920
lol, thanks, it did make me feel better. You sound cute.

>>36951297
my unremarkable friends from high school have kept my social life precariously afloat, but i will need something more substantial than male camaraderie to get through life; especially after I graduate college, and leave this state behind. but when I think about talking to a woman or girl, i reach a wall. what would I ask them? what could I say that would ever make them interested in someone in me? i've gotten better at talking to strangers at the coffee shop, but mostly male ones. the girls are too confounding.

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>>36957924
Yeah, And the worst part is I'm not even depressed In the traditional sense of sadness. I'm not sad, I just have no energy, drive, enjoyment or motivation. It feels like the entire world has just turned gray

Also, capcha is fucking me in the ass right now

>>36957956
>Do you think its worth attempting to stay friends? Whenever I hear her mentioned my heart instantly sinks

nope its 100% not worth it. you arent being a real friend to someone when you have thoughts and emotions like this related to them. you're only deluding yourself. giving yourself a reason to stay in contact with her because you still have feelings.

when it comes to ex's you should cut contact 100% until you know exactly where you stand. it's onjyl when you reach the point where you start to think, "wow, this other girl is super cool and hot, i really want to date her" is when youre able to look at your ex and recognize if you even give a fuck about having her as a real friend or not. and trying to be maintain friendship when you arent sure about that will ONLY lead to you feeling like shit, and almost definitely you fucking up any real potential friendship


first real breakups suck. not all of them are like this. the further down the dating ladder you go (alongside the self-improvements from each run of it), the less they'll bother you, and the more you'll be able to truly just be cool with the girl shortly afterwards (barring any shitty breakup reasons ofc).


stop killing urself trying to be friends with her when its fucking you up even worse

>>36951297
I've litteraly been rejected 1000 times. My confidence is completely shattered. Only last night I was rejected again. Women don't like me, they only like me as friend. Just end me.

>>36957958
You're welcome robro.

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>>36958088


Same. I keep calling it existential depression but I don't really know.


I don't even have anything to be depressed about

>>36957927
I was trying to look my best, i just have a tired depressed look about me.

I fucking hate this school, I hate this fucking city, it's killing my work ethic, my grades, wasting money, and I'm too much of a fucking pussy to face my parents and tell them I want out.

>>36958214
Use some makeup or a filter then. If you like them then just do what any other person does.

>>36958093
Thanks man. I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and its really eating me up. Truly means a lot to me right now.

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>>36951297
my best friend is a narcissistic fuck who never wanna listen to yo stories and have some type of understanding of your problems, but he always wanna talk about himself and basically he just want everything to be about him

IS it something my fellow robots can help me with? Please i am desperate!?

>>36958255

ive wasted more than enough time in your position. you probably won't be able to take my advice fully, it'll probably only linger in the back of your head, cause thats the normal response. everyone goes through those thoughts and emotions after their first real breakup, realizing that will make it easier to move past it.

watch the movie Swingers (vince vaughn etc.).GOAT breakup movie for a guy. gl

>>36957889
>got courage to send face pic to someone I like online
>they stopped talking to me as often

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>>36957381
well, to clarify, I never felt racist, and I believe that keeping America white is indeed a good thing.

Idk why I even got so upset at the time. I think honestly it was more so that I am not exactly white myself (though I look pretty much identical to a white person) so I'm not planning to have any kids to avoid propagating non-white races or of diluting the blood-line of a white woman. However, I really want to have kids at some point, so this frustrates me. Still, I guess it is what it is. After all, nobody can alter the circumstances into which they are born, right?

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>>36958384
Stop being a bootlicker you dumb shithead

>>36957956
This anon is right >>36958093
Stop being friends. Eventually you will get over her, but it will take some time. Focus on your hobby's and try to forget her. After a while, you wont give a fuck anymore about with who she hooks up. It's hard in the beginning, but you will get there.

>>36958431
bootlicker? What the hell are you even talking about? I don't understand.

ive got a job interview in 1,5 hours and i dont really know if i want to go. Ive studies mech egineering just to start a career in a different field. been unemployed for almost a year now. dont want to wageslave. dont want to depend on my mother. might just kill myself.

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Just got kicked outta my house, I'm disabled. Severe anxiety and autoimmune disease. Luckily I have friends willing to take me in till I can find out how I'm going to get on my feet. But I feel so exhausted.

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My ex left me over two years ago and I still think about her more or less every minute of every day without exaggeration despite the fact that she loathes me, how the fuck do I make it stop aside from a bullet

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>>36958444
You claim to "not be white exactly" and you say you won't have kids because you're not white. It sounds like you've convinced yourself that you're less then anyone else. The truth is that you are as equally worthless as any other race. Stop living for others and live for yourself.

>>36958502
I don't know mate. But in the short term, I recommend buying a fuck hole for yourself and a bottle of vodka. Should fix two of your problems right off the bat.

>>36958479
You legit qualify for bux for that disability buddy. Try to get some.

>>36957921
was that mean? i was joking. trying to mock stacies. sorry anon i have a weird sense of humor

>>36958517
This is likely a bad idea. This kind of shit is what leads to degeneracy.

Besides, I'm a turbomanlet (5'4) so there's even more reason for me not to breed.

>>36958502
We are in this together. We gotta ride this wave man, just gotta hope it gets better each day

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>>36958549
>degeneracy

That's how I know for a fact that this place has brainwashed you. Just do what you want man, we're all going to be dead soon so why even give a shit?

>>36958530
Been fighting for 3 years. I'm getting a court date "sometime in the next 16 months"

>>36958583
Because, white people will continue to exist even after I'm gone. Individualism is degeneracy anyways. People should just submit to the state.

Tbh, I was considering castrating myself like a month ago in case I ever changed my mind and decided to have kids, but then I decided it was probably better to just remain celibate.

>>36958647
Yowch. Sorry to hear that things aren't going your way, brother. If it makes you feel any better, I will pray for your good health and fortune in the future. Good luck!

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>>36958656
Jesus, what a pathetic existance. I surely hope you're just taking the piss otherwise I honestly feel bad for you. I have no doubts that you are likely mentally ill, perhaps you'll consider getting yourself fixed.

>>36958742
by getting myself fixed do you mean castration, or speaking to a psychologist?

>>36956770
Either way it will be a statistic

>>36958742
Idk, I think that my beliefs are pretty reasonable and appropriate, but psychologists believe undyingly in "muh equality" so they'd probably think that I'm fucking crazy for considering castrating myself.

>>36958534
dont worry about it, im just being a baby.

>>36956630
Sounds like ocd bruh

I feel as though theres literally no reason that this girl should be talking to me. She's fucking so talented, so blessed, so attractive in looks and personality. It's sounds dumb as fuck but she is so pure. And like she can get a boyfriend so fucking easy no fucking problem. She could be talking to people who are attractive and interesting and she does! I'm neither of those fucking things, so why does she even bother with me??? She tells me all these stories about who she knows, what she does/did and she leads such an interesting fun life. I don't. She's a beautiful singer (on top of all the other shit she's good at) and she was talking about how someone talented wants to do an EP with her. Someone she dated in the past and she gets so flustered. Like fuck just do it, go be happy with someone. I wish she would just drop me sometimes because I really feel theres no reason she should be talking to me. I have literally nothing to offer her other than talking to her and making her laugh sometimes. I love her but it feels like theres no point and I'm getting vibes like my oneitis again, but this girls not a bad person she's too nice actually. And I think she keeps me around because she pities me.

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>>36958939
I may assume to much but I wish when I told her I loved she just fucking gave me something concrete to work with. "I don't love you back" or the non likely answer "I do love you". Either wouldve been fucking fine. it didn't have to be on the spot right there or then. But it's been MONTHS!! She knows I still love her... so wtf??? I'm starting to feel lead on only in the sense that she never told me she DIDN'T like me but I feel like thats because she pities me. I don't even fucking care it's easier on me if she just fucking told me the truth. God I fucking hate having feelings for anyone. I'm legitimately not meant to be happy with anyone. And like I can't talk to her about this shit because then she gets pissed at me. She doesn't like to approach this stuff and it makes her dislike me

I can't fucking win. What do I do???

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>>36958939
dude, just relax. I promise you "deserve" her as much as any other guy. Besides, shes probably not even that good of a person. She just used her roastie magic to make you think she was more attractive and talented than she really was while you take her on dates and she fucks her ex bf in exchange for doing an EP with him.

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>>36958890
4u anon, because babies need hugs when acting up

>>36955712
Your family are simply put ignorant to the damn truth of the world. You weren't born to become rich or successful, you were born to live a life and you have all the right and obligation to live a worthy one. If the job depresses you, then start working towards quitting and finding something better. If your family ends up hating you for not "appreciating" your job enough and don't care to understand why you quit, then they simply don't care for your well being. They only care if you are alive and making money, but they don't care if your life is shit or not.

If you want to lead a worthy life then show them what's the right thing to do. If they hate you then it may be hard to have the people you love turn against you, but you deserve better. If you don't wan't to piss them off because you're scared then i can't force you, but just remember that if you do show them what the deal is then you would be doing what needs to be done to live a more fulfilling life. Take your time to figure out what needs to be done.

I have jury duty for the first time in a few days and it's bothering me. I have terrible social anxiety and I can't even keep eye contact with people, much less talk in front of a group.

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I listened to this song and bawled my fucking eyes out what the fuck why did this happen

>>36959021
I don't really know how to explain this, but I don't actually feel any anxiety around other people. I just start being on the verge of crying whenever I look at people/ have to talk in front of a group. What the hell even causes this? I've tried forcing myself to interact with other people, and it won't go away or lessen. It also appears without me thinking anything and my thoughts don't seem to alter this. It feels very innate. What the hell is this?

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>>36959035
well, its a very emotional song anon, so thats pretty normal

>>36959070
Songs never make me cry nothing makes me cry not movies not TV nothing can do it but this fucking song what the fuck

>>36959088
well, I guess you already know the answer: This one song can make you cry, and other media don't, so what's the issue?

>>36959099
BUT WHY AHHHHHHHH

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>>36958996
No she IS legitimately a good person. And for once I promise she's not a roastie. However I feel like sometimes I should just be done with all of this just so I can stop being so enamored with this girl. But she's so good to me, I've known her for years and she's an amazing friend. She told me she's had feeling for me in the past but didn't act on them. She's a knockout. Anyone would be lucky to have her but I just don't understand why she keeps me around anymore. She claims she really enjoys talking to me but I dunno. I genuinely don't feel like I deserve her. I don't mean to put her on a pedestal but there genuinely is something special about this girl imo.

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>>36959108
BECAUSE ITS A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND MOVING SONG REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>36956078
Perhaps you are asexual? I can't see a clean solution to this, but i can't see your relationship lasting nor being positive for either of you since even if you're trying your best, you can't be everything she wants nor is she willing to consider how you are holding up. If she doesn't care for you and only wants to take from you, then you're pretty much an object to her.

So you should consider that the relationship isn't very genuine and the best thing you could do is end the relationship, but try to get over her a bit before you do that.

I desperately crave for someone to fix me but I'm so broken I can't help but push everyone away. I know I can get treatments to help solve my mental issues but I value myself so little that I feel it's a burden on everyone else to go through with it. I've been stuck in this perpetual state of limbo for around five years or more and every day I think about how peaceful it would be to finally end it all, though the suffering it would cause my family prevents me from doing so. I'm an awful person and have accepted that fact already, yet I continue to try to form bonds with new people only for them to eventually putter out time again and again. I don't know where my life is headed, I don't think I ever will.

>>36959259
don't worry about it mate. Just be yourself. It will all work out in the end. Everything happens for a reason. You're life is valuable, etc. etc. etc.

>>36959259
What keeps you going then?
Oregano Comment

>>36959286
Personally, the knowledge that I can drink in a year keeps me going.

>>36951297
I'm so very tired.

>>36956981
You deserve better. Your best option is to say thanks but no and move on. Judging by her lack of sympathy for canceling on you means that she's not all that great of a person. Good thing you just kinda liked her. Would be harder if you were deeply in love.

>>36959304
I know that feel all too well anon... I never feel like I have enough energy to do anything.

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>>36959304
>>36959317
Kill us, pete.

I refuse to give any yous to "reply to make sure that such and such happens" posters. You know who you faggots are. Nobody else in this thread reply to them either.

>>36959284
>It will all work out in the end
I actually do tell myself this every time I'm in a bad situation, but I'm starting to believe it less and less.
>>36959286
Nothing in specific keeps me going. Some days it's a struggle just to find a reason to get out of bed. Primarily I don't want to let my family members see me when I'm in that kind of state, so I feign happiness (or at the least neutrality) for their sake.

>>36959351
yo, while I'm talking to you, I was gonna ask, do you think its a good idea for me to castrate myself, or should I avoid doing that for the time being?

why am I still w a guy that treats me like shit, man. Fuck I'm retarded.

>>36959375
Why the fuck would you do that? Unless you're trying to gain something in specific there's no reason you should do something like that to yourself, there's no benefit to it.

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>>36952344

>lost his gun

>lost his ammo

ass ass ass!

>>36959395
tell us more. Fembot or gaybot?

>>36957436
I don't care what shit you're going through, that's irrelevant when it comes to kicking those who are already down. Lash out at your mother or something. I can understand that you're not handling things well but that doesn't give you the right to act like human garbage.

it never seems to get any fucking better. i don't mean something vague and philosophical like love or life in general. the pain of loneliness. i am good at putting on a brave face. i figured if i just ignored it and stuck to my isolated ways it would go away. i could stop caring about women and friends and all that bullshit. but as time progresses i seem to get MORE fucking vulnerable than more jaded. it is like a festering wound that won't scab over. i want to be content alone, but i feel that icy fucking hole and it kills. when i see a pretty girl i turn into a stuttering retard like i'm a stupid teenager all over again. the need never goes away. i need attention like some pathetic damn roastie

>>36956424
It's exam season, she probably just wanted to focus by herself. If she was trying to avoid you she wouldn't make eye contact or smile.

All my relationships are on the surface level, even with family.

I closed up like a rock when my coworker showed vulnerability and now it's just back to small talk.

>>36959332
Kill me, pete
Oifcvbj

>>36959447
lol fem. ugh it sucks even thinking about it but he's cheated on me more than 3 times and one was w my so called best friend and he would talk shit about me to other girls one being his ex saying I wasn't shit and another one saying he just felt pity for me so that why he stays, that hurt so fkkn bad man especially since ive done nothing but be kind, selfless and supportive towards him, who knows what else he's done, the list goes on ..hes locked up atm but idk man I'm real tired of it but I'm just so goddamn weak when it comes to him, fuck me tho huh

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3 days I will find out I've they'll put me in the priority list for the mental institution which I direly need. haven't slept in 3 days. I feel like this could be life or death for me. My mind shouldn't be up for this long it's beginning to play tricks on me.
>try to sleep
>see a flash of light I suddenly hallucinate
>freak the fuck out
>can't sleep for another few hours before the whole thing repeats

>>36959493
Not an argument.
originaI hebehejikw

>>36959559
Hah same here. I can barely get past nods and momentary eye contact. It's not that I don't wanna talk, I just can't. Shit eats me up inside
Without internet I'd be a husk

>>36959403
it could help ensure that I never reproduce.

>>36959787
It's a drastic measure and I would say you should only take it if it's such an uncontrollable urge for you. Otherwise your willpower should be enough to sustain and not have to go through a process like that.

>>36959826
maybe, but it's not that I can't control it now, but moreso that in the future I might decide to have kids.

>>36958200
That gif is how I feel like. A non-human pretending to be a human and walking amongst them.
Carry on niggerchild I feel your struggle

>>36959613
why do you stick around?

>>36959636
>see a flash of light I suddenly hallucinate
Wait a minute, that isn't normal?
I get those and I always thought it was just hypnogogia

>>36959907
Do you sometimes hear voices too? Like you're just about to fall in to a sound sleep only to hear a loud creepy "hhhey anon" that sounds like it came from just next to you? RIP sleep

>>36959907
Pretty sure it's hypnagogia, there are some extreme forms of it though like exploding head syndrome

>>36959935
Yep
Look up hypnogogic hallucinations, they're completely normal

>>36957354
Only children are so fucking broken holy shit

I've had multiple opportunities to improve my future but I just don't have the drive to try anymore. I have this crippling fear that I'll fail at anything I try so I've let things slip by and everyone I know thinks I'm lazy. I also dislike my parents because my dad feels like a stranger to me since has hasn't taught me shit and acts like I'm retarded when I don't know how to do certain stuff (like throwing a football properly, learned how from some guy) and my mom is the perfect example of the type of people I hate. I've felt depressed for years and finally told my mom about it, but she said I might need help and we haven't talked about it since. I want to kill myself but the only thing keeping me from doing it is how much it fuck up my little brother.

>>36960058
Not an argument.
Origlo

Tonight I realized the extend of my autism. Why can I only be normal when I'm drunk? This is fucking torture.

that moment when you feel that your friendship IS dying... slowly... Giving you the false hope that it can be salvaged - but you know it can't.

Also, that feel when you know they're cheating on you, but you're not in a relationship with them and you're just being a paranoid, and territorial/jealous cunt.

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>>36951297
Ever since I realized I have a weak chin I've been insecure as FUCK. I never really noticed it until recently and I realized just how much it fucks up my face after taking some profile selfies while doing an overbite, it brings me down from a 7/10 to a 5 or even less. It's fucking me up. I would get surgery but I'm a poor fuck

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>>36951297

>Had to work together with 7/10 qt in university, we have to meet up someday.
>Act like a total fuckin autist.
>Ruin everything, she even smiled and was interested.
>I couldn't even talk to her right, she even wanted to meet up at first.
>But moments later she decided to split the work, dodges me everywhere she can doesn't even smiles at me no more.
>I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable so I try to completely go out of her way and I don't even look at her anymore so that she thinks I forgot about her.
>Think I'm a fucking retard that I thought it would have worked out somehow, it was expected to happen I should have been the one ditching her first so I don't have to feel the way I do now. It would have been for the best.

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I've been on the road of self improvement for awhile now but it just feels like I've hit a wall that can never be passed. The ultimate reason for me doing this was to eventually get a girlfriend and lose my virginity. I've got looks covered (fit and signed with a modelling agency and get compliments on looks regularly) but I still can't get a girl to fuck me. The thing is I used to have massive social anxiety and didn't meet many girls but I've been trying to improve my social skills for 5 years now and still not gotten anywhere. I've made a bunch of friends and even have a regular social life but it feels like theres something missing inside of me that prevents me from getting girls to think of me sexually in the final step. I don't know what it is and its driving me insane.

Are robots just meant to be alone? It feels like no matter what I do the universe is against me. Girls have said to my face that I am hot and yet when I ask them out they never say yes. I think something about me comes off as strange, its probably a virgin walk kind of thing that I will never be able to fix because my self esteem is forever in pieces.

I'm so tired r9k, I just want to be loved like everybody else. Is that so much to ask for?

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I know I should tell him, I should've told him years ago, but even now I feel like there's no chance he would feel the same about me. Everything would change the moment I tell him regardless of outcome and that scares me more than anything, breaking apart from him would crush me in ways I'm afraid to even think of. Everything I do every single day has me thinking about him and it's been that way for years, yet I can never actually bring myself to tell him about it.

Having these feelings hurts more than it should.

>>36958238
fuck off normalfag child. originin

I want to not exist, I never asked to be given consciousness - so I'm making the decision to remove myself from this realm. Also fuck commuting and working for the next 40+ years of my life, I'd rather be dead.

FUCK YOU HARRY
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>36956424

And so it begins. This has happened to me before. They stop sitting with you once, then maybe another time. And then another. Then you're sitting alone forever before you know it. Funny how it seems like your friends have tons of other friends so you aren't important, but all you have is your few friends.

>>36956469

NEET of 3 years here. Turning 21 this summer. Can't drive (narcolepsy). So anti-social, and car-less. Doesn't help that most people in my graduation class are living the fucking life. I mean not that I'd want their life. It's nothing but degenerate college parties, constant alcohol, slutty outfits, and trips to Europe for the Cock Carasoul. The douchebag "Chads" all walking around with their sleeveless tanks "dude, bro, dude, dank".

So I don't have a big dick, the cataplexy would probably make me god awful at sex, said cataplexy has also made me teach myself to never laugh again to avoid muscle tone weakening during laughs as I dislike the feeling, at night time have extremely vivid dreams sometimes not so good ones involving realistic pain and blood, hypagognic hallucinations at night sometimes, and the likes. I've seen orbs a few times before, and have had experiences feeling a warm feeling of love cover my body while seeing a Cross in the sky or a portrait of Jesus in my mind. So either I'm completely insane by the point, or maybe there is at least something I can enjoy in life after all (Religion).

But hey, what does it matter. It's not like growing up with a screaming dad and extreme OCD mom helped at all. My cat, who was an angel had to be put down last year. Heh, I know people sometimes think people who are attached to pets are weird. But If I don't have relations with people, I need something for fucks sake. If my only friend was my childhood pet than so be it. Damn it. Damn it all. Now I'm sad.

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>ITT

Get over yourself, get a job, find some friends if you can't deal with your roneryness

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Why the fuck did they ruin what could have been a good model with such a horrible face? Everything looks perfect, but they made the same mistake like they did with the Super Fumina, and it's the fucking doughy, potato like face.

I know they're trying to compete with the FAGs from Kotobukiya, but I'm just surprised how bad their attempts are. You'd think a company like Bandai with the amount of resources and history of good products would be able to get this right, but nope. Seriously, look at this shit. It's fucking stupid. At least they're making the Zock in the RE/100 line, so kudos to the genius was behind that decision.

>>36963057
sorry for your cat anon. Me and my mangy old cat wish you the best

>>36961786
I know these feels too well.. feels so shitty

>>36954816
Jesus christ I'm so sorry. I cried for you and your mother. Rip peanut

>>36956757
It's because he was a cute little kid anon. Any normal human will naturally feel empathy towards children. It's good to have empathy, as long as it doesn't affect your ability to think rationally. If you feel sad about the mexican children, think about how sad you will feel when your own children are a minority in their own country. Protect your own. That's what ever other country does. Its only self hating whites who suicide their own culture because they feel sad for the poor brown people.

My mother had me when she was 18 and borderline homeless with a psychopathic narcissist

This man burned down my childhood home, stole nearly everything I've ever owned, smoked meth around me, bought hookers and physically/psychologically abused me

But my mother kept dragging me to this man, no matter how many times he'd gone to prison because she 'loved' him and said I was an ungrateful conspirator and a mistake my entire life

I've been homeless for most of my life and couldn't even attempt to get close to anyone because it would put them in serious danger, my father has tried to kill me several times before, he's currently in prison for stealing a car and a firearm to hunt down and exterminate his 'family'

And I was always told as a child it was my fault

Now I'm 22, my mother got a house with her father's money after she could prove she got a divorce and she's going to therapy

And since then she's actively denied everything that's ever happened and told me I need a psychologist, she's also raising all of her other children normally, but seems to deny any achievement I get and acts like it's my responsibility to ensure the upkeep of her house and lifestyle

I've also been diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and Asperger's Syndrome

I know it might sound stupid, but some part of me really thinks I deserve everything that's happened to me, for not being strong or smart enough to fix the problem

My father wrote a letter from prison saying he's going to try and murder me when he gets out in a year and part of me wonders if the world would be a better place if I just let him do it

I know it's probably a stupid idea to put this on 4chan, but I've never had anyone ever bother to listen when I've tried to talk about this before

At least I've actually said something about it for once in my life now

>>36951297
I quit a high paying job recently due to anxiety and also because I would have to train with guns and I know for a fact the second they hand me a loaded gun I will put it to my temple and pull the trigger as fast as I can.

i've been constanly thinking about being dominated sexually for the past few days and idk why

Everyone is fucking happy here even if economic crisis
How
Trying to find a job here without contacts is almost useless
Of course there is no stable job even then
I have cut off almost everyone, and the people that I still commmunicate with all have an ulterior motive
There is no point in keeping on like this.I have to agree with the anon that sees himself biting his gun
Of course I will have to do it in a mor elaborate way since guns are forbidden
Fuck this

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>>36951297
my girlfriend just told me that she's emotionally empty and doesn't k ow how she feels about our relationship.

She claims that she feels like she is a burden onto me because of how depressed she is that that shes not use to fixing her emotional issues while in a relationship.

We talked about our relationship for 3 hours yesterday and couldn't decide if we should bream up or wait. I've already had an emotional breakdown over this and have already started to move on.

We are going camping this weekend and I'm not sure its a good idea to go.

First woman in years who has shredded my heart.

>>36965327
thats really a messed up story anon, so you living with your mom now?

>>36954395
>I just let it melt away into a more content emptiness. Maybe I'm just scared because my oneitis ruined everything all through high school, maybe I'm just a bit too beta and could fix it with better posture or some bullshit, all I know is I could help myself at any moment but I'd rather play vidya, masturbate, and coast through college. I'm going to be forced to get a job and get out there this summer though, so I'm hoping that's my chance to get out of my shell.
I was in a similar situation during and after high school, finally getting a job and forcing myself out there helped quite a bit. It's helped me be more social, some extra spending money is pretty nice and I've actually started making tangible progress towards my career goals, I'd recommend you go for it. Only bad thing for me is that I ended getting a new oneitis from work which is kind of fucking me up a bit.

>>36951297
I want to go on a successful date at some point. If I get some good pictures of me next year I might make a Tinder.

>>36965602
Yeah, I'm splitting half the bills on the property

Can't afford to leave if I'm doing that, but I can't just leave my younger siblings without food or power

>>36965892
It takes a year to get a picture done in your country? Here it's like instant

>>36956757
It's because you realized that white nationalism is just a bullshit manifestation of hate and this board has been used to use the justifiable hatred of the social conditions due to capitalism into hate to your fellow man. Comrade you are not lost don't let these guys manipulate you into darkness with them.

>>36951297
I want to be left alone forever

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I think I'm going to be blind soon or I'm just paranoid.

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>>36954816
i don't even feel like venting anymore

>>36966011
where you working?

>>36966950
I ended up starting a computer repair and web design business in my town with a few people I ended up meeting in special ed during highschool

I make about 3k a month, with about 2k of it spent on business expenses

A lot of people would give me broken devices as a kid and I'd spend months figuring out how to fix them and it turned into a hobby, so I guess I just figured out how to make a profit from that

>>36967118
not a bad job, are you saving money?

My oneitis has been trying to make amends with me lately, I think she may wanna fuck too. I honestly feel lonlier than ever now, worse than I did before I dropped her and after I did.

>>36967220
If I can

I keep having disaster after disaster and that pretty much destroys any savings I have, almost to the point where it's comical

My entire life is a cycle of things getting better then going to absolute hell and repeating

I generally try to keep up my composure though, everyone around me relies on me for emotional and financial support and if they see me starting to panic everyone goes chaotic

My best friend is a damaged girl who has been in love with this one guy for a few years now. He doesn't reciprocate except every once in a while they'll meetup and make out but nothing more. I tell her that shit isn't right because he has a girlfriend and she wouldn't like being cheated on, so they never go further. Now she's telling me they plan on fucking in the same sentence she tells me she let her drunk ex come over and fuck her last night. Now she's crying about how she feels used and how nobody loves her. Before you call me an orbiter, I'm a girl, but I can't deal with my friend's BPD and low self esteem. This shit is fucking ridiculous. Why complain about FEELING used? She IS being used.

>>36967306
the story of my life, every time i get my life on track something will make it derail. i got used to this mind state that "if something going good for me, i should prepare for the worst"
my brother took a loan that he cant pay up, and now the bank wants me to pay up, so now i think to move out to the street.

I posted in one of those QT infograph threads the other day. Before it got purged a femanon said I seemed cool and asked for my kik. I didn't have one so I downloaded the app and replied to her with my username. I never got a responce and she never replied to the thread. The thread got purged before I got a notification from kik so either she didn't get to the thread in time or she probably a he was really just messing with me. Even then, being called cool felt nice.

>>36967476
I've been on the street, it's not a good place to be

Everyone is pretty much immediately out to fuck you over, steal your shit, etc..

Sometimes you'll run into someone who'll give you a few dollars or a ride somewhere, but it's rare

Worst part is not having any sort of direction, purpose or even anything to do for days on end

Anyways anon, good luck with the bank bullshit
If there's an institution behind the money, there's always some kind of loophole you can exploit

>>36967306
like Sisyphus

>>36967524
You're lucky, you don't experience the part where they all stop talking to you, every time.

>>36955712
moot? would you like your forum back?

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Friend unintentionally called me ugly. I normally wouldn't mind, but he's very popular and usually has an opinion most people agree on.

>>36967687
i got the idea pretty covered, going to purchase a gym membership so i can shower at, and hoing to spend my time between 2 jobs and the beach, while i attened my uni

>>36954816
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

>>36967760
Does Moot really browse this place? I'd had figured his fame woulda turned him chad

I'm sick of being a brainlet every fucking time my parents expect me to get high grades but I always fail even though I study avg 6 hours a day they don't know how hard is life with less than 100 iq what makes it sadder that I'm their only child

>>36968432
Should've been born with some Jewish genes or Asian ones(though I've been told that's a lie). I'm 127IQ and always managed to get by with doing nothing

God I just wish I could talk to girls.

I never thought this would happen to me, but i rejected a girl who seemed interested to me.
I went all the way to planning a date with her, but i felt awkward.
I'm super into her, but i 100% know she is not aware of how much of an awkward loser i am.
So i just...have been avoiding her for a month. By now she should have forgotten and moved on.
But it's been a big lesson for me, and i won't be seeking a girlfriend until i get my life and emotional state in a better place.
I would just make anyone i date miserable, bored, and depressed, and that's not fair.

>>36969773
You're a better person than almost everyone on this board.

>>36951297
I gave up social interaction with 90% of the people I know

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I wish I cared. I wish I had ambition or passion for something.

>>36969875
I don't think so. We're all broken in some major way.

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There's nothing I want out of my life. I spend all my time escaping my thoughts 'cause if I let myself think for too long I just end up feeling completely empty. I think about suicide throughout most of every day. Days I enjoy things and have energy to do them are few and far between. I don't wanna stick around much longer, but I don't wanna hurt my parents either. It's just so fucking hard when you:
>feel inferior to everyone you meet
>feel gross and uncomfortable in your own body and can't stand the sight of yourself
>feel as though everyone you pass on the street can look right through you and see what a disgusting, lazy piece of shit you are
>get nervous about absolutely everything
>have the motivation and energy to do nothing to improve the things you hate about yourself
>are always lonely, even when you're with your friends or family, and when you're with them you just want to be alone again anyway
>feel like everyone you care about would be better off without you
I can't take this shit for another 60 years. I don't wanna make it to 30.

Getting a part-time job was a mistake. I thought it would help with my depression due to the added sense of purpose and cash, but instead I just never have time to relax. Between school and this I only have a few hours per day to relax, and now they're giving me crazy hours despite this being my last week of high school. I've closed every damn Sunday for the past few weeks, and I always wake up feeling like shit, but now I get my first 9 hour shift to make it even worse. I know I wouldn't have done shit anyways since I'm a loser, but I can't help but feel I'm being manipulated here.

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I can't get myself to socialize with people and make friends because I'm constantly thinking that I'll say something weird to someone at one point and never talk to me again.

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>>36951297
Noone's at my side. Not any friends, not my parents, nobody. There is no getting better. Every time my situation just gets worse. I just want all of it to end. May everyone drop dead. Die.

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>>36951297
I was born to be despised.

I had to be born into a Family of Traitors to their own Kin.
I had to be born into the middle of nowhere, devote of anyone who i could be a careless Child with.
I had to be a deviant finding fascination in things that are deemed not worthwhile.
I had to be born into a time where i am taught that my existence is unique and that i can do great things while simultaneously bearing the burden of debts my Administrators are accumulating at this very minute, every day of every year, knowing damn well that i couldnt repay it with dozens of lifetimes.
I had to be cared for by my elders who suffered through the worst period of my Countries Timeline, advising me to never trust Authority, while being taught to never question them by my teachers.
I had to find solitude in the Night, where only the Stars light up my disgusting visage.
I had to find comfort in the darkness of my own Thoughts.

I just had to be me, and i hate it with every fiber of my Body.
Im glad once its over.

>>36970833
>I had to be born into a Family of Traitors to their own Kin.
Nazis. It's cool if you tell me grandpop was a Polish nazi

>>36970865
He wasnt.

>>36970888
okay, nice trips though
Oh and I was talking about my grandpop sorry for the confusion

>>36964853
To clarify, I never said I was against white nationalism or border security. All I said was that I was uncomftorable just because of the fact that earlier on I had wanted the government to kill any anchor babies that refused to leave the country, that's all.

>>36966268

commies pls die.

> Haven't talked to a women outside of my family in 3 years.
>Only had a real conversation with a girl once for as long as I can remember.

I'm only 19 bros, am I doomed?

In addition to crippling depression and loneliness, one of my closest friends has started dating my ex

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>>36970913
its okay

my grandfather was a regular soldier in the third reich, his father living on half of his salary because he refused to support the party.

Only the threat of getting to guard Auschwitz made him become a supporter of the SS

2 Months before the Allies arrived.

I deserve all of this.

>>36970990
That's not true and you know it. He had no choice. My grandpop didn't neither he was technically after the invasion a german citizen of the third reich. He talked extensively about how he hated the Germans and how they made him assimilate.

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I'm extremely lonely and I'm too embarrassed to speak out about it. Everyone at work seems to think I'm normal, but almost every night I come close to crying myself to sleep. I haven't got many friends either and the whole process of trying to find someone is utterly alien to me, I have no idea how to approach it and I've got hardly anyone to talk to about it. I'm trying to push myself out there but nothing seems to work. The worst part is that frustration and jealousy of others are building up inside me and I find myself getting angrier every day.

>>36971092
Also I should mention this was reserved only for the region of Posen, rest of Poland was General goubernement. Posen(poznan) and region was third reich

>>36970969
>am I doomed

Yeah. Sorry mang

>>36970990
m8 you weren't even alive so I don't know how you can deserve it

>>36971136
My condolences. I cant muster up anything else at the moment. im sorry

>>36952344
Suicide is gay so dont do it

>>36956174
fucking hell anon, your situation sounds really similar to someone i know

but experiences with anti-depressants aren't like yours unheard of. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new, but SSRIs can be a real bitch, and they definitely do not work for everyone. If you can, you should tell someone--preferably someone familiar with this kind of shit--don't bullshit them, tell the actual truth. Best thing to do would be to switch to a new class of antidepressants, or add a second medication, but don't try it yourself or it could get ugly. Often, you have to get into a balancing act with medication. it's not easy, but it's better than the alternative

I think about him every day, and holy fuck do I hate him so much. I'm filled to the brim with envy and I despise any conversation we had. Dont kill yourself fag cause I want to kill you first.

I seriously want to die. My life has no value

>>36970982
That's gotta be the worst.. I almost had that happened to me but I didn't give a flying fuck about the girl in question because she's honest to god stupid as fuck but I can imagine how shitty that feels

>>36971678
It's pretty terrible. But he's also even less popular with girls than me somehow so I feel like I cant say anything to him

Not that big of a problem but wound up failing both my classes this semster. GPAs still slightly above 2.0 but I just feel like a fucking failure. I just wanna make my family happy and feel like I was worth raising.

>>36951297
I'm really desperate for companionship/sex but I can't see myself dropping my standards low enough to get it. There are girls I know I could pick up and date/fuck, but the only ones that fit into this category are roasties with daddy issues, roasties who are literally crazy, and fat girls. I'm trapped in this place where I'm basically staying a lonely virgin voluntarily more or less.

My libido is starting to control me, I'm nowhere near a virgin but all I wanna do these days is fuck and nothing else.

everything reminds me of him. I wake up and fall asleep thinking of him. he'll never be mine and will never want me, and that's probably for the best, but it still hurts regardless of what logic tells me.

>>36972103
Hobbies my dude. Don't torture yourself with desires of teh flesh. Sometimes I think about ending my genitals just to be free of the cardinal sin

i wish i was good at video games

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>>36951297
just can't get over my ex-gf. She was my world.

Tried to kill myself but got found and taken to hospital, just want to die even more now. Please come back, Kitty.

I don't have the discipline to stick to a routine. Even if it's something I enjoy doing, it always falls apart because I can't handle doing the same shit over an extended period of time.

>>36952344
Jump off a building instead, probably more fun.

I am an emotionally abusive narcissist (who can't spell) who throws fits when I don't get what I want and can never admit when I am wrong. I try as hard as I can to get into the heads of the people around me for absolutely no other reason than to try and get them to like me. I abuse trust when it's given and I destroy relationships with an efficiency that would be difficult for a robot programmed to do exactly that. There should be a warning sign tattooed to my forehead that reads "STAY THE FUCK AWAY"

Damn that felt good.

Lately my girlfriend of 4 years has been too much for me. We've been living together for 2 years and her depression and bipolar disorder have gotten progressively worse. She refuses to see medical professionals because of
>drugs make me dumb
add the fact she had a fight with my parents 3 years ago and refuses to speak to them. On the plus side shes smoking weed and it seems to help somewhat.

>rant over
>inb4 stop being a faggot

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>normie brother brought home ANOTHER girl
>she's been here once before and thinks I'm a total aspie
>walks up to the door of my room and is talking to me like I'm mentally handicapped
>legit, like talking really loud with a lot of enunciation saying shit like "OH, ARE YOU DOING ALRIGHT?" and "ARE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER LIKE BEST FRIENDS?"

>I've been awake for over 30 hours so I just look, sound, and am acting like a complete and utter madman in response

well lads, that's another girl who think i'm a lunatic

>>36972920
>BPD
You poor sod, how do you even manage?

>>36951297
I feel like I've failed as a man. I'm a weak virgin who can't even fix a bike.

>>36972572
I can sense that pure liquid edge oozing out of your post.

OP here. What the fuck I thought this thread died with no posts last night.

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>>36954816
Rip peanut.
I'm 25 and engaged (normie reeee) I want a child more than anything in my life but I am uncertain of my country's future. It's a small,thirld world shithole surrounde by hostile empires and muslims,economy is shit,young people are leaving and that causes additional demographic problems. Every day some manual worker dies working for a foreign business that doesn't give a shit about their safety.Air toxicity is way above normal,I hear about young people dying from cancer regularly.
I can't do this anymore,I love my country,we have a rich history and culture,I want to do my part passing the heritage and birth/raise strong sons and daughters but a cynic in me keeps thinking it is all pointless and I am dooming new tiny humans for a life in a sinking ship.
Just nuke us putin,you vodka goblin cunt.

>>36973331
Doesn't make it any less true

>>36972322

>wanting those eyebrows back

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>>36973939
the bitch looks like a clowns corpse

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>>36973127
Vidya and my pupper Tango. Its the one thing i like doing unconditionally. That and the fact that i manage to convince myself that shes not really like this and its just an illness that makes her switch. Im also hard headed and have a thing for trying to "fix " people. So overall its "no bueno" but i put myself there.

>>36974303
Sory wull comebackhttp://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1494631256199s.jpg

>>36951297
I hate how people think in groups. Everyone wants to fling mud at their respective antagonist-like groups (MRA vs Feminists, Republican vs Democrat, SJW vs Alt-Right etc.)

I had a friend of mine recently tell me that he proudly physically assaulted someone for burning a flag. A flag. A fucking piece of cloth.

We're so much more than this. We're human beings. We should cooperate for the better of mankind, not join cliques and attack each other.

>>36975647
Well stay strong pal, if I was you i'd have run for the hills long ago.

>>36956757
Maybe you feel bad because deep down you know that this shitty disordered autism inducing website is turning you into a piece of shit?

>>36975956
it will never change. that's how you win. By teaming up with your friends to impose your morals/objectives/power onto other people.

>>36976243
I don't consider giving up your individuality a form of victory. I see it as a form of surrender to what other people want from you.

>>36958335
>got courage to send face pic to someone I like online
>they blocked me

>>36952327
beksinski... good tast anon