khv alcoholic/druggie feels

>>36882563
I'm doing better today, anon.
I haven't been sleeping much recently, if at all. I went against my word and started taking excessive amounts of xanax again. I've been sleeping, but I feel guilty for returning to my vice.

As always, I'm alone in my drink downing whiskey. Absolutely dreading tomorrow.

Getting drunk as fuck

Hopefully the guy I'm buying a gun from comes through so I can leave this shithole

Drinking beers and contemplating the murmurs of my ancestors' spirits, only white shaman still existing, a grave curse

slept all day woke up smoked a fat wax joint and took painkillers


now i have nothing to do cause its 1am so ill do more drugs...

i want to die

>>36882819
If you are going to kill yourself, just sell all your shit and start over instead. Please don't do it. The whole world is out there and if you have no problem cutting ties you can really go experience it however you want. Move somewhere else and be someone else.

I hope for the best for you brother

>>36882849
>only white shaman still existing
Please tell us more anon.

Just finished my last final and also my last day at work. Going to spend tomorrow getting blitzed before I start looking for a new job wednesday. I have enough money to pay my bills for the summer, but I have no friends so there really isn't a reason for me not to work all summer.

>>36882895
I've tried selling my shit g
I have a bunch of stolen stuff worth a couple grand but eBay/let go haven't worked
I'm 18 and can't really just start over, I'm supposed to be going to college and I truly don't have enough and wouldn't have enough to last long
I'll just be an ugly loser anywhere I go
Plus the gun's only $200 and its practically guaranteed to blow a hole through my head

Thanks for the advice though

Kratom, 4mg etiz and a bottle of wine earlier. Time for melatonin so I can sleep;

>>36882905
I nearly died when I was very young. Crossed the river Styx. Survived by what doctors trained men of science themselves called "miracle". See there was a storm and a rainbow appeared and my kinsmen prayed and at that very moment I healed, I saw the heart movement paper. Basically a witcher(seeing as how I'm Polish)

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>>36882563
Getting high in my room. It's the only thing that keeps me going. I really wanna stop but being sober and realising I'm:

>manlet
>khv
>daddy issues
>mommy complex
>inferiority complex
>childhood trauma
>avoidant personality
>depression
>agoraphobia

It's too much desu. I don't know why I was born. My parents didn't know what they were doing and I'm pretty sure I've got mental illnesses. Every so often I'll catch my internal voice speaking in plural and they'll be huge gaps in the day I don't remember. I'll find myself just standing in my room not knowing what the fuck happened the last few hours. It's like being respawned.

>>36882563
stop drinking the devil's piss or there's an eternity of torment waiting for you

>>36882966
Also I summoned Kek. I did. Dark truth is that's the only path humanity lives past this point as a kind of comdey show for the gods, sorry it was the only way

>>36882922
Have you not tried looked into student loans? Starting at community college so it's cheaper? You are making a permanent decision to fix a temporary problem. And your problem isnt even a problem man.

A shit ton of people have great lIves without college, and a shit ton of people work hard to end up going. A lot of people are also unattractive.

Don't kill yourself dude, come on. You're 18. I wish I was that young and had a clean slate.

>>36882563
>spending extra on kraken meme rum

faggot

>>36883048
some people haven't had their tastebuds shot to hell and can still taste the difference between rum and urine

>>36883029
I'm at community college rn but just wasting money. Never had an idea of what to do, just taking classes

Makes sense, but if you were as mental as I am, you'd probably understand. Some diagnoses that never came up anywhere. Don't really know what's wrong with me.

Again, I appreciate it, but I'm already certain of what I'm going to do. I'd prefer if you don't waste your time man. Thanks again

Gotta study, but I can't, because i'm a fucking faggot.

I have 3 pills of addy i bummed off of someone but i can't even put in the effort to do that. I'm too sad and depressed to do work, like a fucking bitch.

/blog

>>36883091
if that were the case, you'd have bought something good and not just something with a cool name you pretentious fuck

this thread is trash and so are you

>>36882895
hi, >>36882922 isnt me. i have money and could move out but i will end up selling drugs. this whole 'just move out and be someone else' shit really does not work for somebody who is suicidal. i have no vitality. i do not want to live and actively degenerate my mental and physical state daily. at one point i wanted to get better and tried to get help to no avail. lately every day has been do i go to the er and tell them i want to die or do i just kill myself. i havent decided yet.

I wish I could drink malt liquor so bad but mommy won't allow it in the house...

>>36883198
hello
>>36882922
Is me

gang gang?

>>36882563
My friends describe me as a guy that's 'high on life'. Does that count as a druggie feel? Am I one of the cool guys, like you guys?

>>36883255
fuck no.

i wish i could say this more orginally

anyway to get high on hash without rolling joint w/ tobacco or weed?

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>>36883583
bong, but I'd really suggest adding some weed or at least tea leaves if you're scared of the cancer jew

>>36882987
>Every so often I'll catch my internal voice speaking in plural and they'll be huge gaps in the day I don't remember. I'll find myself just standing in my room not knowing what the fuck happened the last few hours. It's like being respawned.
yeah man that's actually not normal

>>36883583
Hotknife.

>>36882922
>killing yourself at the peak of the game
what a looser. there's like a bazillion things you could be doing/working towards.

it's not easy but the hope makes it worth it.

>>36883096
>this faggot is going to kill himself on the easiest level
jesus christ, you guys are pathetic. god have mercy on your soul.

Dude, you could be IGNORANT AS FUCK right now. You could be taking enormous risks but instead you're killing yourself.

I'm done with the blow and the drink, they don't work any more. I can't imagine what sobriety will be like, but it's got to have its perks or nobody would do it.

>>36883998
>>you could be IGNORANT AS FUCK

That is not a good thing. and I already GNO that this life is nothing but suffering since i dont have the willpower to better myself.

>>36884011
pros
-mentally sharp consistently
-Can wakeup earlier
-mood is stabilizes a little
that's about it really

Just lying around and desperately avoiding sobrarity; that's when the bad thoughts come out

>>36883958
>peak of the game
Yeah sure buddy whatever you believe
>>36883998
What kind of risks? Inb4 drugs or hoes, already done both

Shit doesn't matter