Did misogyny and bitterness turn me gay?

>>36870860
I fucking hate myself. I could understand and stand turning from entirely straight to asexual or entirely straight to bisexual, but how the fuck could somebody go from entirely straight to extremely gay basically overnight?

Women were literally my motivation for doing everything in life, and I don't even have that driving me any more. I wanted a wife and kids and house all my life. To make matters worse, I have no genuine interest in a homosexual relationship, and the gay lifestyle and risks associated with it disgust me.

This is fucking bullshit. I'd trade literally anything or any life circumstance to be straight again, or at least asexual. Does anybody want to kill me?

>extreme gayness remains

no don't do that that is not good

Stop doublespacing for no reason and never post again

>>36870961
I don't even know or understand how it's fucking possible, I must have pissed off God or gotten cursed by a gypsy or something.

>>36870860
If it worked like that, I'd be gay by now.

>>36871364
That's what I fucking thought, too, then suddenly at 25 I fucking turn gay. Not even bisexual, fucking gay.

Is this even possible? Or is OP just a faggot?

>>36870860
>she leaves me in a horrible way
Tell us that story faggot, no one cares that you want to be a dick sucking cum slut

>>36871496
Apparently it is fucking possible, anon. People claim that it's not possible, but they're full of shit.

Based on experiencing a fucking normal puberty where I had crushes on, and liked girls physically and romantically, then having a relationship where I greatly enjoyed sex and almost married her, as well as looking at straight porn extensively for years and years, with all of my wet dreams being straight, compared to now where I suddenly became attracted to men one day, it's very fucking possible, unfortunately.

I don't know whether it's a spontaneous sexuality change or latent homosexuality (why would I lose my lifelong attraction to women in that case, though?), both of which most claim is impossible, but all that I can tell you is that I was straight for 25 years without an inkling of doubt, then one day lost all attraction to women and became attracted to men, and it makes me want to kill myself.

>>36871632
Were you doing drugs? I heard that drugs sometimes make people gay

>>36871675
I've never done a drug in my life.

>>36870860
>33
>last gf was when I was 17
>have remained bitter and resentful since
>don't have the sudden urge to take it in the ass then
>don't have it now
chances are you were a faggot to begin with, OP!

File: 1493466169597.png (582KB, 1235x1500px) Image search: [Google]

582KB, 1235x1500px

>>36871675
I know weed dies lmao. Weed makes me hella fucking homo, but only homo for cute fem guys. Weird, usually when high I just youtube cute gay fem black guys and it seems to be good enough for me, I just like pretty guys. I don't know if I could be in s relationship with a dude, I don't think that would work.

>>36871736
This is why I usually smoke alone, can never tell if some fucking homo retard is going to gay out and try to cover it with 'chh, i-it's just this dank, bruh, no homo'

>>36871687
wew, then you're DEFINITELY gay dude

>>36871727
Don't you think I'd have known that I was attracted to men prior to the age of 25, though? Don't gay people know that they're gay at puberty, even if they don't admit it? Wouldn't I have not gone through a normal puberty and liked girls for 25 years, and I wouldn't have had a successful five year relationship where I enjoyed sex and almost got married?

I could maybe understand it from the standpoint of if I was a repressed bisexual, but why the fuck would my attraction to women suddenly switch off one day at 25 years, even if I was attracted to men? It makes no sense.

How many years have you been posting on this website. This website makes people gay.

>>36871773
Wow, you don't say? Thanks, anon.

>>36871870
Probably 7 years? I went through waves where I'd use it frequently and then not at all. I will say that I used it frequently following my girlfriend leaving me, and that's where a lot of my hatred and bitterness towards women came from, it was sort of an outlet.

I definitely think that it's where the weird fucking wave of gender dysphoria came from, in any event. I think the trannyposters got inside my head. At least the gender dysphoria went away, thank fucking God. Hopefully the gayness will go, as well.

>>36871632
I forgot to add one thing, what makes things even weirder is that when I do have sex dreams, they're still with a girl.

>>36871736
It sounds like you might just be gay, to be honest.

>>36870860
There are plenty of recovering homosexuals but IMO you are just way to gay anon you might as well embrace it you are on of the many robots who fell and took the gay pill that wqs being shoved down all our throats. You do know there are hundreds of gay propoganda people activley making robots gay or traps right? IDK why but it is

>>36870860
I'm not a faggot so i wouldn't know but the only way to know if you are gay is go suck a dick, if you like it guess what ya a faggot now if not you are just a mini fag either way why do you care if you like cock or not? Go on Grindr and give it a go.

>>36870860
My sides dude you are gay just deal with it

>>36870860
Sounds like you had a mental breakdown and the mental damage is being manifested as homosexuality.

>>36870860
The only way to fight it is to suck a few dicks

hey op u are probably gay and thats normal, no reason to hate yourself for it. why fight it. people change, so does their sexuality, who knows where life will take you, nevertheless this does not define your entire person, just go with it. btw im straight

>>36870860
M8, all you had to do was stop watching porn

Just be gay, dude. You might end up liking it.

>>36873385
Just go Grindr and take a few dicks in the ol boipussy

>>36873152
The constant propaganda is pretty obvious now, truth be told. Everybody should get the fuck out of here now before they end up gay or a tranny.
>>36873200
I really don't want to, and honest to God couldn't promise that I wouldn't murder the gay dude or kill myself immediately after, that's not on the table. Plus, I really don't want to get an STD. I don't think I could live with myself if I did that. I'd rather be dead.
>>36873225
No fucking shit, dude. That's pretty obvious at this point. It would be a lot easier if I were a bisexual or asexual, but to suddenly have my fucking sexuality switch after 25 years and stop liking girls entirely is a pretty big mind fuck.

At least most fucking gay people get to have their entire puberty to come to terms with being gay, I fucking had a switch flip one day for whatever reason and my fucking 25 years of having crushes on girls and everything went out the window.
>>36873269
That's definitely been on my mind, but why would my attraction to women suddenly disappear on top of it? Is there any coming back from it? Regardless of the source, gayness is gayness, right? I will say that I'm happy that I no longer want to cut my fucking dick off, though.

>>36873312
>>36873385
This is not bad advice. Just try it out. See if you like it.
Maybe it's your depressed brain playing games on you

>>36870860
>>only succeed in making myself gayer
/r9k/ in a nutshell

>>36873312
>>36873385
>>36873508
See >>36873475
>I really don't want to, and honest to God couldn't promise that I wouldn't murder the gay dude or kill myself immediately after, that's not on the table. Plus, I really don't want to get an STD. I don't think I could live with myself if I did that. I'd rather be dead.

>>36873340
I did stop watching porn, and I stopped masturbating, and it did fuck-all. Maybe it was too late at that point, but believe me that I tried it and am still trying it.

File: wonderwoman.jpg (164KB, 1277x1920px) Image search: [Google]

164KB, 1277x1920px

>>36870860
tldr you're at last a bit bi, but this is probably trauma from the last relationship manifesting itself in you needing some sort of outlet for sexuality, repulsed by the thought of women you project your attraction on men but the emptiness of the attraction is leading you to despise yourself, trauma mixed with OCD, woman hating and at least a small dose of hidden or hormonal faggotry. Maybe you're father wasn't there for you when you needed him and you grew to hate your mother; also traps are not gay

>>36873475
File a lawsuit against this site say it made you gay

>>36873721
I don't know, man. A bullet or rope sounds easier at this point than dealing with whatever the fuck that it is. I even have a suicide note written up that I think is pretty great.

I just miss liking girls, honestly, even though I fucking hate them so much.

Someone post soke gay shit to get Op in the mood, like so,e gay gif of was fucki g

Do what you think you will enjoy.
If you don't enjoy it, do something else.

It's fine.

You are free.

>>36873777
If I'm going down that road, I should sue both my ex-girlfriend and this fucking site, honestly.

I'd look forward to every local radio station in America making fun of me like they did that McDonald's coffee lady. It'd be great watercooler conversation.

>>36873909
Joke's on you, fucker. I've got imageblock enabled.

Also, don't pretend like you aren't just trying to get gay porn posted to add to your collection, anon.

>>36873896
>I just miss liking girls, honestly, even though I fucking hate them so much.

Therapy... seriously, even if you were gay and had been hiding it for years, hiding it even from yourself, you wouldn't end up hating girls.

We hate the things that can hurt us.
They can hurt you because you feel.

Closeted gays tend to hate out of the closet gays because they see in them what they hate about themselves.
Your anger at women is about what has happened to you.
You're change in feeling about them is a defense mechanism.

You may also be attracted to men... that's fine too.
Talk to a professional.

>>36873968
Kek na. I just want anon op to enjoy himself.

You obviously have some you raging fsggot or you wouldn't have replied

File: 1493337190560.gif (2MB, 360x182px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 360x182px

>>36870860
Gay is a normal meme try traps

>>36874106
Surley the trap is the man here as he she he is getting that fsggot to pleasure him here

>>36874074
That's all well and good aside from the fact that I've quit my job, spent all of my savings on insane shit to try and fight this, can no longer go out in public without getting massive panic attacks so I can no longer work a job to pay for it, and am so depressed constantly that I can hardly bring myself to get out of bed, much less leave the house for regular appointments.

That's how I ended up with the CBT and ERP shit for HOCD, but that didn't help, really. Maybe it was the wrong type of therapy to be doing?

>>36874306
>Maybe it was the wrong type of therapy to be doing?

Maybe it was the wrong result you were expecting?
You said that you just got gayer?
Maybe, just maybe, the cathartic release of emotion has allowed you to realize that you like men.
Accept that and you won't have to panic any more?

Wait, no, scratch that. I'm remembering something. Hold on.
I've got to google something.

>>36871870
This is the truth. You can tell when someone is fresh off the boat because they don't like traps.

The thing about "straight" porn is that it includes men. This makes you slowly associate arousal with seeing other men fuck. "Straight" porn is also heavily centered around experiencing female pleasure. Just like women do when they watch it, men may also self-insert as the woman.
This is how you eventually become gay and develop gender dysphoria from watching straight pornography.

>>36874306
>>36874484

OK, Right.
Years ago I had a GF who had a shit tonne of penetration anxiety so I did some research.
Sometimes part of penetration anxiety is because arousal and fear share lots of sensations.
The more aroused she got the more afraid she felt.
So we could have sex when she wasn't really into it, because even though it wasn't great for her pleasure wise, she could let me fuck her.
But when she got into the swing of things and I thought "yeah, this is going to be a good fucking night" she'd suddenly get afraid, panic and stop.
15 years later, I've been through some horrible crap, my own bullshit story of humiliation and disaster... and I'm slowly rebuilding my confidence and after a long time as a failed cyborg I was trying to get back to having a sex life... but every time I would get anywhere with a woman, boom, suddenly panic attack.
I couldn't figure it out.

Recently I remembered about the penetration anxiety that GF had, and looked into it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal

Some times we just don't understand what we're feeling.

>>36874484
Nah man, after living as an entirely straight person who felt genuine attractions for 25 fucking years, death is better than turning gay and having my personality entirely change and having nothing left to live or hope for, being disgusted with myself every single day, being unable to enjoy anything in the same way that I once did. All of my long-term goals and reasons to live are essentially void, and I'm not going to string along some poor girl who I could never genuinely love back.

If I always had these attractions, or at least retained my attraction to women, it would be a lot easier to deal with, but they literally came out of the blue. I'd rather be remembered as I was than what I would become.
>>36874659
I've entirely cut out porn and masturbation, and my gender dysphoria went away. The spontaneous gayness still remains, though.

>>36874659
>men may also self-insert as the woman.
>This is how you eventually become gay and
>develop gender dysphoria from watching straight pornography.

So obviously watching lesbian porn would result in gender dysphoria but not gayness...
While Gay porn will result in Gayness and not Gender Dsyphoria?

>>36871505
Did you really want to hear that story, anon?

>>36870860
Shit, son... I am experiencing a similar situation, except I am still attracted to women.
>me and friend drop 3 high dose tabs of acid each
>friend is sorta metrosexual/skater
>plays this band "Cream"
>start having very disturbing gay thoughts
>go outside to smoke bud and try to relax
>badidea.jpg
>weed makes my paranoia 10x worse
>start thinking he's trying to seduce me
>ask him if he's gay
>says no and gets defensive
>ends up saying a gay joke
>paranoia gets even worse and start thinking I'm tripping so hard that I don't realize gay shit is going on
>end up calling my gf to pick me up
My whole mental state has changed after that terrible trip. I can't go outside without having extreme paranoia and anxiety. I'm convinced that if gay scenarios happen in your mind it affects you just as much as if you did it. I just want to be the person I was before... Fuck this gay earth

>>36870875
>>36870860
Yeah, sorry to hear about that. Honestly I fear this happening to myself.

>>36875459
Sounds like actual HOCD, anon, rather than whatever the fuck happened to me. If you're still attracted to women, not attracted to men at all, and it's just paranoia over gay thoughts, it's even more likely.

>>36875569
Thanks, anon.

The good news is that most people think that I just had a nervous breakdown due to the breakup with my girlfriend who I spent the vast majority of my time with, so it's a great cover if I kill myself or I'm not dating for a long time.

>>36875585
I'm not sure. When I see a dude that's attractive I get anxious. What's funny is I have more confidence around females now. What if this is the start of homosexuality?

>>36870860
Additional absolutely crazy shit I left out:

>had false memories of serving in the Army,
despite never having even been in the military

>had false memories of my childhood as though I were a girl and other weird false memories

>began becoming disassociated from my body

>literally no longer recognized myself when I looked in the mirror

>started with jabbing myself with a paint scraper any time a gay thought occurred

>moved on to punching myself in the kidney as hard as I could when that didn't work

>then ordered an electric pet collar that I put on my leg and set to 100 and shocked myself any time a gay thought occurred

>spent hundreds of dollars on testosterone boosters and estrogen blockers, as well as other supplements

>punched and bashed my head against things repeatedly because I read online about certain cases where head trauma changes sexual orientations in extremely rare cases

>spent many extremely late nights yelling directly at God, which I'm sure my neighbors heard

Among others.

>>36876085
Have you ever tried going to church and reading the Bible?

>>36874850
I see what you're getting at, but excessive porn does a lot of weird shit to people and their sexualities. Read through some of these stories:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/are-sexual-tastes-immutable

>>36875062
Yes I did, it's more interesting than op wanting to get fucked in the ass

>>36876308
Nah, as strange as it sounds I'm actually agnostic. I think that I just want somebody to blame, and God became the obvious (and only possible) target in my then-insanity, so I "yelled at God."

>>36876085
Why don't you want to be gay? I feel like your methods are contributing to the unraveling of your psyche.

Are you me? Well, apart from all the gay and crazy shit.

>>36876742
Why would a straight person want to be gay?

>>36876085
You're not gay, you're just a looney.

>>36876811
Why does it matter? Your sexuality shouldn't define you. If I were you I would just embrace it, find a qt bf and fuck them. Like why not? I can't understand going to the lengths that you're going to, unless you were some religious fundamentalist.

>>36876742
I'm not doing them any more for the most part, but it has more to do with the fact that I'm unable to enjoy anything that I did previously. I mourn for the person I used to be every day. Everything that I attempt to watch, and any time that I go out in public makes me feel horrible about myself. I even became attracted to male family members.

I used to love women so much, and I miss being attracted to them. All that I ever wanted was a wife and to start a family, and other than that, I didn't have much to live for. I went from a fucking masculine male to having the thought patterns of a woman/flaming homosexual.

The dating pool and typical homosexual lifestyle are both aspects that make me absolutely disgusted, and I mourn for the loss of a potential family.
>>36876827
God I fucking hope so, anon. I fear that I'm both.
>>36876896
The problem is the complete personality shift that's accompanied it. See above. I love the old me, and hate the new me. The new me is a fucking pussy.

>>36877282
Just because you are gay, doesn't mean you can't start a family.

>>36877413
It means I don't want to start a fucking family, anon. Nor should I have kids at this point, anyway, read the rest of this fucking thread.

I don't want to fucking adopt or have a kid who has to have two dads or impregnate some egg donor. I want my old sexuality and dream of an actual child with a woman that I love back, like I had for 25 fucking years.

>>36876811
>Why would a straight person want to be gay?

Easier access to sex.

I'm pretty sure I would have had much much more sex in my 20s and 30s if I had been gay.

(Well, mathematically speaking, any gay sex at all would have been infinitely more sex than the straight sex I got.)

>>36876085
I forgot to add: eventually the self-inflicted kidney shots made me piss blood. The collar at 100 was more effective, anyway.

>>36876896
Because it's wrong and disgusting. I'm also a Christian

>>36877282
Try fucking some dudes. A few things could happen. You could realize how much you love fucking dudes, and want to fuck dudes for the rest of your life. You could also like it, but it'll get it out of your system and you'll start to be interested in girls. Or you could hate it and want to fuck girls. Either way, you gotta embrace it.

>>36877528
>implying gay sex=vaginal sex

>>36876896
>>36877735
OP here, I actually haven't ever had a problem with homosexuals. I've never cared about gay marriage or anything. I'm also not really a Christian, I'm an agnostic, as I pointed out earlier.

>>36877773
I don't think that's a good idea, anon: >>36873603

>>36877773
Terrible advice. I'm willing to bet you're one of those gays that try to brainwash weak robots.

>>36877801
I never did either until that acid trip I told you about. I realized that it's evil and being pushed by jews.

>>36877773
>>36877856
Plus, if I took that same advice when I was having gender dysphoria a while back, I'd be wearing a fucking dress and makeup right now or heading to the hardware store to buy a saw to cut my dick off.

File: 1490163603403.jpg (80KB, 499x505px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 499x505px

>>36870860

idk man i think misogyny and bitterness mighta turned me into a Dom

since dating a BPD i now literally only fuck girls that have kinks like dd/lg, M/s, general BDSM


i mean im not trying to hurt them, the pain doesnt turn me on at all, but the submission and obedience extremely does.

>>36877943
Fucking a dude is temporary. Cutting off your dick isn't.

>>36874106
whenever I see tranny balls I always think of a un-neutered dog like a pitbulls smooth balls and it makes me laugh.

>>36878153
KEK LMAO LOL HAHAHA

The only thing you can do with a problem you can't change is to accept it. So your long term goal structures collapsed (as all goal structures eventually do). So what? There's no use clinging onto the past. All you can do is build anew from where you are now. Maybe there is still something for you in this life. Being gay isn't such a big deal, unless you lock yourself into circles of suffering by hating yourself for it, which makes me think that it's your disgust and self hate that's the bigger problem here, and what needs to be worked out.

>>36878028
Want to trade sexualities, anon? My apparent latent homosexuality for your BDSM shit?

I'll even throw in the punching myself in the kidneys until pissing blood and the mental breakdown free of charge.

...Anybody?

File: samoa[1].jpg (538KB, 1024x680px) Image search: [Google]

538KB, 1024x680px

>>36870860

There was a polynesian tribe where the weakest men were emasculated to the point of becoming gay, termed "Fa'afafine". They were moreso like an effeminate gay man than a ladyboy or MTF. They weren't necessarily forced into it either. In a tribe where the average size is something like 6'2 200lbs, how many women want to pair with a "man" who is 5'5 and 125lbs? Their constant rejection from women aided in their desire to BECOME like women. They gave themselves up to be fucktoys by the biggest most alpha men (they never paired with other gays).
Maybe it's just your time to become a Fa'afafine, OP? Let a big strong man take care of you for a while.

>>36878217
I don't know, anon. A rope or bullet sounds much preferable to that stupid bullshit.

I went from a confident, masculine male to a timid, effeminate, flaming homosexual, the new me is a fucking pussy. I can't look males in the fucking eyes any more.

>>36878328
Let me grope your buttocks.

>>36878229
...I mean, I didn't really experience much rejection, though. Girls were usually pretty open to my advances. I was basically 1/1 with the one that I tried to pursue in earnest, and that lasted five years.

I actually think that I turned down more women than I was rejected by.

>>36878328
>timid, effeminate, flaming homosexual
and there's nothing inherently wrong with that.

I thought you said you never had a problem with homosexuals?

>>36878491
I don't, but I do have a fucking problem having my old self die and becoming a flaming homosexual shell of my former self who enjoys none of the same things, anon.

I could deal with it if it's something that I've always experienced, but to have a fucking switch flip at 25 after experiencing what I was supposed to be makes it abundantly clear that it's not a life worth living.

>>36878574
Kill yourself then I guess
People get their lives flipped upside down or destroyed all the time but it doesn't have to be the end of the world. The possibility of rebuilding and letting go is there should you choose to take it.

>>36876769
...So just the girlfriend and bitterness parts, then?

>>36876325
Some of those stories are hilarious, by the way.

>>36870860
You need to get over that chick man.

>>36880204
That'd be a lot easier if I didn't turn into an effeminate homosexual.

>>36880405
That is the cause for that change. You're closing off yourself.

Is the personality you are fighting maybe similiar to hers? Subconsciously bringing back what you lost?

Also, cut the porn. Srsly.

>>36880466
I mean... not particularly? It's an interesting thought and there may be something to it, maybe wanting to become the person that I wanted her to be (or at least, as close as possible) due to some perverse sense of disappointment, but I wouldn't really say that it's similar to her, necessarily.

I've also now cut out all porn and masturbation. I'm honestly not even sure if my dick actually works any more.

>>36878229
Also, holy shit, that's a real thing.

>>36873515
You're laughing, but wait until you're the one the gay sneaks up on. Look at all of the trannies on the board.

>>36870860
This is why christianity is bad for mental health.

>>36883063
Once again, nope.
>>36876723
>>36877801

>>36881170
>>>take it well at first, start working on self-improvement again and getting my life in order

This is where you lied. Realize this, cope with your loss, and that might be the nudge into the right direction. Despair will only intensify that vicious circle.

Could be you went from one Ego death to another. That'd mean you'd need another one to get back. Get some acid, that helps. Also some MDMA and do a candyflip, feels good.

>>36870860
Did you use sissy hypnosis on yourself? Maybe the hypnosis did include you forgetting that.

Unrelated question: Are you Swedish?

>>36883579
That wasn't a lie, I picked up a couple of hobbies and started to get out again.

I also don't think that drugs are a great idea given my current lack of mental stability. I've got a bad feeling that would end up with me on the news.
>>36883631
Nope, never took part in any particularly weird porn, let alone frequently, truth be told. Masturbated exclusively to girls my entire life, even. I wasn't even ever into traps or futa. Not Swedish.

>>36883579
You're replying to the wrong person. I'm the anon that tripped and started having gay mental attacks after. I'm also the Christian. I do have acid left over and was thinking about trying to change myself back but I'm scared now

>>36883704
With that mindset sure you will.

Could it be that you are consuming estrogen through some way? That'd explain the dysphoria AND the faggyness.

If you're taking testosterone, it'll cause the same thing, as your body tries to balance it out.

Did your blood get checked on that during that tranny phase or recently? I mean it could be a placebo effect, too.

Work on that hate and bitterness. If they turned you that way, getting rid of them might remove their effects.

>>36884026
No, I didn't confuse you guys. I didn't find a better word for it.

I'd have similiar advice for you though: Don't forget the fucking molly, trips can't turn bad if you're flipping.

>>36884060
It can turn bad when you're coming down from the molly

>>36884034
As to the estrogen, the only thing that I can think of is that I was drinking a lot of milk, but I've done that frequently in the past and didn't have any issues like this. I've stopped doing that, and the issues have mostly persisted. I don't know if that would really explain it, anyway.

Yep, blood was checked on two occasions. Brain scan was done. Everything came back normal every time.

As to the last part, I'm working on it, really. I can say that I'm doing better than I was, because like I said, I at least don't want to remove my own dick any more.

Have you tried dating other women?

>>36884212
Nope. The issues started happening before I was ready to start doing so. During the beginning of the hurricane of freaking the fuck out, I put in a half-hearted effort to do so, but didn't really try all that hard. After that point, my issues became much worse, and it came entirely off the table after that point.

It really didn't help that women started to look disgusting to me when I hit a certain point, either. Like I said, it reminds me of when I was a prepubescent child and thought girls were gross. It's extremely foreign, because I don't think I've felt that way about girls since I was 9 or 10.

>>36870860
I thought gays were born that way? You do realize the contradiction in your post. I hope.

>>36873475
>having crushes on girls
Your wording is suspect friend.
Crushes are by deffinition childish and shallow. Straight guys have crushes on guys and the other way around, it only gets serious after its a 'love' or attraction

REAL QUESTION OP

did you met some guy that could have changed your preferences? Some curious faces could drive you crazy trust me

>>36873896
Do you want to die a faggot?
At least fix it before you kys

>>36884433
Being "born that way" is a talking point that the gay agenda uses to make acceptance of them easier, but I don't think that's necessarily the case. It doesn't really hold up to scrutiny, if you think about it.

If it was, then there wouldn't be instances of identical twins where one ends up gay, and the other ends up straight. There are certain upbringing factors that are also correlated with homosexuality, such as a distant father and overbearing mother, as well. Also, for every older brother that one has, the chance of being homosexual goes up by a large magnitude. This supposedly has to do with the amount of testosterone that one is exposed to in the womb, which declines with every successive child. That's why the "finger test" with the ring finger and pointer finger is a thing that can often predict gayness. Additionally, there's the counterclockwise swirl in the hair that is correlated to gayness. While those things increase the likelihood, they're not outright predictive.

Additionally, there are documented cases of spontaneous sexuality changes, following head trauma, strokes, or certain medications being administered to people. Though they're rare, they have happened.

Also, look at prison sexuality studies where prisoners experience lifelong sexual orientation changes following their release from prison. Additionally, there was another study that I once saw where people who wanted more sex actively tried to change their sexuality, and reported success in doing so.

Lastly, think of female sexuality where literally HALF of women on OKCupid describe themselves as bisexual. Female sexuality is a lot more fluid than male sexuality, but there are tons and tons of cases where women change their sexuality after getting fed up with males, or switch from being a lesbian to being exclusively straight.

Just to throw in there, though hormones are involved, the fact that a large number of transsexuals experience a change in sexuality.

>>36884567
I ran out of space, but the fact is that nobody truly understands how sexuality is determined. Saying that one is "born that way" is a nice talking point, but that doesn't make it true, necessarily. I think those cases illustrate that it's more likely not true, in fact.

Somebody may be predisposed to gayness, but I don't think it's outright determined by birth.

>>36884519
I mean, to me, a crush has a romantic implication. If somebody says "guy crush" or "girl crush" it's somewhat different, but that's not what I was going for. There were numerous girls throughout my life that I was romantically interested in, though I only pursued one in earnest (the relationship lasting five years, as I already pointed out). That's the only girl that I've ever loved, because that's the only girl that I was in a relationship with. I experienced attraction to many, many girls over the course of my life.
>>36884536
Nope, nothing comes to mind. It was a pretty sudden process where it came all at once, basically. At first I just kind of ignored it, but it became more and more blatant, and after my attraction to women went out entirely that's when I started to really freak the fuck out.
>>36884544
I mean, I get what you're going for, but the choices are really more likely "live as a faggot" or "die as a faggot." I could even live with turning bisexual, so long as my interest in women came back.

>>36875762
Your theory is logic mate, you're trying too hard to hide these weird feelings and I'm not even trolling you. You still loving your gf?

File: 1490598265377.gif (193KB, 250x191px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 250x191px

>>36878221
*hug*
Stop hurting yourself anon. I love you.

>>36884730
>I experienced attraction to many, many girls over the course of my life.
Thanks for clearing that up, I hope you end up fixing it. Maybe take testasterone injections, to fix the feminine behavior at least. Maybe its testasterone defficiency

>>36870860
>be me
>summer before uni
>virgin
>huge bj fetish, like it was the only thing I watched
>best friend randomly tells me he sucks his cousins dick (i dont know how we even got to that or how I didn't immediately cringe)
>brush it off
>start to have thoughts of him blowing me
>he comes over one day
>shit happens
>he blows me
>literally can't cum
>stops
>start questioning my sexuality for a month
>realize I didn't like dudes
still friends to this day with no awkwardness and I'm now 100% confident that I'm straight.

Fun fact though, couldn't cum to a girl blowing me either so maybe I am a fucking faggot.

>>36884865
At least you didn't zap the shit out of yourself for hours on end, anon.

>>36884819
Thanks! I love you, too, other anon.

I actually haven't done that in quite a while now, I phased that out back when I started doing the ERP and CBT therapies and I had to eliminate my compulsions.

Also, for anybody wondering or considering the same thing, the paint scraper, kidney shots until pissing blood, and electric collar at 100 didn't actually do jack shit to help the situation (maybe made me more avoidant, but it didn't in any change my thought processes), though it felt pretty damn good to feel like I was actively trying something.

File: 1493995078670.gif (2MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x281px

>>36885736
Did you end up aroused by the pain?
I ask because I tried to contain erections a few times now and it hurts sometimes long story short I've been asking a grill to chew lightly on my dick and to grab my balls when we fuck, and it makes me cum faster
But I feel a great shame afterwards

>>36885868
No, the pain was always extremely unpleasant and intense, I made sure of that. I did have the fear in my mind that I'd develop some weird fetish from it, but nothing ever came of it. Like I said, it didn't really do much of anything except make me more avoidant and maybe increased my anxiety slightly when sitting down and watching something.

I think that might partially be due to the fact that I didn't really associate it with a sexual situation, rather to attraction.

>>36885736
I actually want to take that back, because doing that gave me hope and likely bought me some more time, and I might have offed myself otherwise.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now finally. The thread will probably be dead by the time that I wake up, but if anybody wants anything else answered, I'll answer it if it's still up by some miracle.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everybody who replied, offered advice, shared their own experiences, or called me a faggot. I was glad to be able to fully share my weird story and insanity, even if it was only to anonymous strangers on the internet. Please, don't any of you take anything for granted, because nothing's truly a given in life.

>>36878229
This is wildly inaccurate. It's the third or fifth son in several Polynesian cultures. They're raised as girls to keep even numbers. On islands you retard

>>36870860
OP you're straight and you developed an OCD condition that makes you incessently question whether you're gay
you're not gay, you need a lithium prescription or some bullshit
google homosexual OCD and don't act on your delusions because you'll really regret it
take it from someone who knew he only loved cuteboys since puberty

File: 09123012312311231.png (142KB, 511x564px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 511x564px

>>36886175
Dude, HOCD is in his post. He knows.

>ITT: Gay denial
>haha i'm not gay! I only like cute boys / traps / femboys!

So you have a preference? You know like anyone has a preference?
I don't like masculine girls, I like feminine girls. I don't like fat girls, I like skinny girls.

You don't like masculine men, but you like feminine men.
Regardless of you try to spin it, it's a guy. You're gay.
You just like a certain type of guy.

>b-b-but masculine men disgust me!
and fat girls disgust me.

You're just prison gay.

Lack of female contact has made you afraid of them. You think gays are more available and would settle for you because you think men are all just as degenerate as you are.

You're not gay until you are getting fucked in the butt and enjoying it. Until then it's just a weird fetish you jerk off to because you're too desensitized to normal porn. Consider the onaholes. Eventually guys who switch from the hand buy these rubber tubes and lube. They grease it up and pound down, feel incredible, and do this over and over again. Eventually it gets ripped or something and you have to go back to your hand. It's just not good enough anymore so you have to buy a new onahole.

You need to find another girlfriend you can have sex with. Your biological imperative as a man is to find a hole to fuck and women are the ideal subject. Eventually, without human contact, you will start considering alternatives subconsciously. Your mind will trick you into thinking this is what you desire.