>he hasn't joined the muhrines Join, you will get laid

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I cry whenever someone yells at me. Is it true they yell at you in your face and stuff in training? I wouldn't be able to handle that.

>>36868587
The psychological aspect would generally prevent most of /r9k/ from joining.

I have disabilites that bar me from the army yet I cant collect welfare.

They want you to adopt their idiotic army philosophy of obeying without questioning. I honestly don't think I could take orders from some double-digit IQ having brainlet sergeant.

>>36868587
Actually the ladt couple years I heard they changed DI's rectrictions on training.
From what I heard they can't
>touch you
>insult/dimine you
>issue unethical orders
But Im sure it happens still, under the radar, especially in the more physical branches like the Marines and Army

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>want to join
>have bronchial asthma

>>36868543
Already did get laid a bunch behind bars/pubs at last call.
Honestly man women are easy and the ones I got are not worth getting fucked up for.

I'm almost 25 :-(

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>country's army is a joke and would be trained wrong on purpose and sent to do some UN gayshit

>laid
if getting raped counts, I guess.

>>36868587
It's fine, so do a lot of other people who go to basic training. You'll actually be quite surprised at yourself about how quickly you will get over it and wonder why you ever cried at people yelling.

>>36868543
Fuck off, Uncle Sam
Recruiting here, of all places, is retarded. Half the people here have crippling mental health issues that disqualifies them from enlisting, and the other half are Australians.

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>>36868889
>You'll actually be quite surprised at yourself about how quickly you will get over it and wonder why you ever cried at people yelling.

That's what they told me about angry customers at the McDonalds I worked at. I never could get over it.

>>36868716

>implying they don't when nobody is looking

>>36869005
I don't know. There is a lot more motivation there than at McDonalds. You tell yourself that there is your whole platoon and family counting on you. But only you truly know yourself, I'm just a faggot.

>>36869005
It still could be better than those customers. Keep in mind that the military higher-ups who are yelling are just doing their job trying to set you straight. They'll be more loud and harsh sounding, but it's their job to do that, and even they too went through the same stuff. Angry customers, however, are often just random dickheads.

>>36868716
Dude I was in boot barely a year ago and they definitely still do all this shit and more.

>still have school to finish
>can't join the great corps
>my brother he's to bag shitheads and I'm stuck in school
>fuck
say it wit yer chest

>>36868716
That's a load of bullshit, they still do all if these, it's supposed to put a lot of stress on you and create chaos and a "fog" of war, if you have any social problems or are afraid to be yelled at, it's not for you then

>>36868543
I cant join because I'm not an American. Im getting my visa and when i get my greencard ill enlist

Don't join, you will die in North Korea.

They don't let autists join you fucking idiots

If by getting laid you mean being your platoon's official cum dumpster I agree

>>36868587
>>36869005

GOD ANON WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID

>joining an organization that's 99% male to get laid
Maybe if you're gay.

The only people who go into the army and actually get pussy were already Chads to begin with. Weirdos who go into the army remain weirdos.

>get laid

more like get cucked, literally every army wife fucks other dudes on the side.

>>36869944
And some of the Chad's even get turned into weirdos. My brother went in a typical Chad, and came out with PTSD and a bunch of psychological problems. I seriously wouldn't recommend joining unless there's a serious existential threat against the country, or you're going in to do some boring non combat role.

>>36870076
>oreganooo
the rules, did you read them?

>>36870117
yep
DPRK

I unironically want to experience life in the North Korean military for a month just to see what it's like. They have so many people in their military that it takes away people from doing other jobs so they just have the military do menial tasks like landscaping and farming.

Joining the military does not change your character (except for work ethic). While I was being separated from the Navy, there were two Navy workers who their co-workers tend to ignore. I was having a casual conversation with one of them and all I have to say is that he's a sperg. I also met a vet from the marines and he is a wizard.

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>mfw got conscription letter a couple of days ago

It's actually happening guys

>>36869280
Tell stories about what it's actually like please

>>36868543
The navy is better
>on a fuckin boat
>get to sing sailin songs
>doesn't have to be physical labor
>be at liberty in some random backwater southeast Asian port
>local bitches come out, desperate for white cock
>you can fuck
>so long as they aren't pregnant u g2g

>>36870237
Finland?

That wasn't original.

>>36868543
Yea ,OP get laid in the battlefield dying.

>join army
>mandatory but strict in my country
>expect to make new friends and become a better person myself
>hate it the secounds our plane lands
>everyone there is either Chad or some badass motherfucker
>also they allow women so lots and lots of stacys
>lots of the people knew each other or become instant friends
>become social outcast within the first week
>spendt most of my freetime alone because eeryone just ran off somewhere without me
>have mental breakdown and get sendt home 3 weeks into basic
>worst decition of my life

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>>36870237
Conscription is just one big day care play pen.

Have fun and don't forget to laugh at some poor sergeants face every time they have to yell at you.

>>36870716
Norway. De facto it's not mandatory, piss easy to get away from but without putting too much thought into it I just did my best at the conscription testing/interview thing and got assigned to a base faaaar up north as an artilleryman.

>>36871027
It probably is, but you get to play with guns and you get paid 11.5K USD in total, with all expenses including flights home and stuff paid.

>>36868587
Will this even affect everyone? I mean if you think kind of meta about it the whole thing becomes ridiculous and hilarious, the screaming guy will just seem like a retard.

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>>36870237
>>36871238
bare si at du hater folk, er skikkelig lat og drekker mye
forsvaret er en javjla spok, gjor alt du kan for a komme deg unna

>>36871238
>>36871336
also
Setermoen? var i etteretningen i fjor

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>>36871396
>>36871336
Jepp. Men nei, jeg vil i forsvaret. Pang pang.

Jeg har diagnostisert autisme men jeg holdt kjeft om det, kunne komme meg unna dritlett hvis jeg ville. Har sa mange skader atte. Og ja, setermoen. Jeg gleder meg jeg. Kommer til a bli (nesten) akkurat som i mine kinesiske tegnefilmer.

>>36868587
Then there's no way you can handle mortar fire you fucking pussy

>>36871702
gledet meg jeg ogsa men angret med en gang jeg satt meg pa flyet.
men hvis du synes at det hores greit ut a bli kjeftet pa av folk pa din egen alder, ga pa ski i -30 med 50kg sekk og vaske rom hver eneste dag med botte og klut skal jeg ikke stoppe deg.
all skytingen er ikke verdt det, ta deg en tur t murica hvis du vil skyte med vapen

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>Going to basic in 2 days
It ain't the muhreens but I'm still fighting for muh free(college)doms

>>36868543
I don't wanna get laid. I wanna kill and commit war crimes.

>>36871702
>>36872255
homser

>>36868543
I've considered joining the armed forces. What sort of psychological factors would prevent someone from being accepted?

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>>36872332
>mfw 5 days until chair force powsii

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>>36868543
>not being gay and joining the navy

i know this is a b8thread
but im unironically th9inking about this
>be 20
>can follow orders
>not "fit" but not paralityc ether
>can run 1 mile in less than 10 without dying
>need to work in the calesthetic exercises.
>prob can make the requirements with 3 months of serius training
>the money would be nice
>also the experience would be good for applying to police after finishing deployment.
should i drop out of college and try to join any branch?

>>36872480
Yes do it. I'm 21, set to ship to basic in few months. I tried my best in college but realized I wasn't learning shit in there.

Do your research and go to k's /meg/. Start your application process now as wait time can be long. You'll have months to prepare and their "couch to 5k" guide will get you in shape if you stick to it.

>>36868543

I can't legally own guns and take many medications, and am obese, and am autistic, and lived on tendies for so many years my overall health is destroyed. Will they still take me and fix my problems? Also I have an 8th grade education but I am damn good at drawing sonic the hedgehog getting fucked by a horse dildo.

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>>36868543
my dad was a marine and he didn't get laid

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>>36868718
>>want to join
>>have bronchial asthma

l know that feel ;_;

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>>36872255
Tror nok jeg har godt av det. Har hort at milla kan unfucke shitten din.

>all skytingen er ikke verdt det, ta deg en tur t murica hvis du vil skyte med vapen
Skal jo det ogsa da
>mfw nar pappagutt

>>36873426
>Har hort at milla kan unfucke shitten din
Ikke det norske milliteret

>>36873464
Horte fra en finne som var deppa og tenkte a henge seg at milla hans hjalp han en del.

Litt vanskelig a ikke fa disiplin nar du er underlagt militaret tror jeg.

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I have 35 degree lordosis and im 6.5 :( im 18 and ill have my corset soon, my heart is good, my legs are good, im overweight but can still run, I hope I can correct my spine and if it requires get surgery. Think theyll let me in the army?

They won't take me cause I'm missing my legs. I can walk and even run just fine but they still told me to fuck off. Pissed me off

>>36868543
>Join, you will get laid
I'm not gay.

>>36873707
l am! IoI!

>>36873707
>I'm not gay.
Sounds Iike something a gay would say

>wagecuck political meatshield

no thanks

>>36874059
>thinks she can take on a Marine
Lmao stay mad cuckboi

>>36870192
Why'd you get separated?

>>36874313
>im de big invincible muhreen
ooooK

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>>36870252
Con: everyone thinks (knows?) you're gay

>>36868543
My dad was a Gurkha

>RECRUIT, WHAT FEEL ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW

>SIR THAT FEEL WHEN NO GF SIR

>>36868543
people in the army are legit brain damaged and they all think they are tough as nails

>>36872222
Why would I want to join an organization that wants to put me under mortar fire?

>>36874737
The better question is why wouldn't you??

>join military
>either get sent to die or come home with PTSD
>or if you manage to get a bullshit do nothing job, you'll get stationed in some city where everybody is tired of the US military because soldiers are like college students but worse (ie: a bunch of dumb young kids that get drunk and cause trouble)

>>36868543
I'll fit right in with the gay autists!

>>36874773
I'd rather be the one firing the mortar, not the fodder the other side puts in the way.

Here's some stuff I know about the military, USA military. If you want to get in don't tell them about any past mental health issues or injuries. Even if some of that stuffs documented it probably won't show up on a background check even if your going for top secret clearance. The air force is the easiest branch though they aren't easy going. Fuck ups are taken more seriously in the air force unlike the army or espically the marines where you're almost expected to fuck up. I wouldn't recommend that any of you join either the army or the marines. They're constantly getting fucked with espically the marines. I'm a navy corpsman so I have experience with both the navy and marines. A little with the army and airforce. Navy isn't a good fit for most intervert types because you're going to be surrounded by people 24/7 on a ship in the middle of the ocean. And boy will they have you working. Unless your a easy rate like OS or AZ. Though most people on bord will be more interested in playing viyda and just hanging out shit will get stressful. Sailors also love to drink and gamble. Navy personal are a lot more chummy and friendly then other military types you may meet. The military in general is very stressful, tons of paperwork, watches , chores, inspections, getting the right quils, hard meaninglessness work, exercise and school. Then if you wanna rank up faster you have to do extra shit like community service and college. Most of your superiors are only in it for themselves and the info you need won't always be readily available. Also your gonna have too deal with stupid people and assholes who you can't back talk.

Im joining the pantser infanterie!

>>36868543
Tbh the marines is full of losers looking for a "badass certificate".

>>36875061
Is it better than being a NEET though, assuming said NEET is capable of adjusting to the lifestyle?

I'm 5'8 and 120 lbs
What branch should I join

>>36874834
Not really there are tons of jobs you could do that don't require you too fight or even deploy . Hell some combatian jobs where you actually deploy to Iraq are do nothing jobs. It's easier to land a non combatian job in the navy the a combatian one. Locals usually like military personal because we're a big boost in the local economy and tend to be more respectful then the spring breakers though neither are really all that bad. Except for marines.

>>36868587
Yes, and they will shit talk your momma all while doing it in your face.

I thought about joining the navy medical corps. Taking care of sailors on a boat sounds awesome. How are doctors viewed as in the military?

>>36875641
1. You wouldn't be a doctor.
2. Don't call a ship a boat
3. Billets for ship orders are pretty rare for boots so you'd have a bit of a wait.
4. Yes you'd be highly respected amount the marines who think your a doctor.

yall weirdos need to watch ears open eyeballs click

>>36874520
unspecified Anxiety disorder.

>>36875960
Why wouldn't I be one? I think you misunderstand, I don't want to be highly respected I would like to just fit in with the rest of the crew.

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Stop posting on /r9k/ and join the army

>>36876924
In order to be a doctor you need a MD.
So you'd have to go to 4 years of college and then another 4 years of med school, and then another 4 years or so if you were to specialize in an area.

>>36875246
You're a bit underweight I think.

>>36872480
>want to be police
Yes, go for it. Don't be a dumbass though, go in for four years, use your education benefits and go to school while in. Do that and you will be a damn near shoe-in for police academy. Also, don't think that you have to do MP/SF to become a cop. It would help, certainly, but their life is UTTER SHIT.

>>36876924
No I didn't misunderstand shit. I answered all your questions. You most likely won't be part of any crew. And you can't be a doctor with 14 weeks of medical expirence.