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Haven't been on in a while, so I figured I'd come back with a story.
>be me, Sophomore in HS
>things are doing alright, hang out with the same people every day, we play Melee every day
>One day, arguing with my friend about how Fox is the best by a small margin or something
>a girl joins in (I went to a boys-only HS, had no "girl friends")
>"Clearly, considering Fox's shine comes out on frame one" you get the idea
>solid 8/10
>I fall in love almost immediately
>a little bit passes, we're still arguing
>"This is my stop"
>mind racing, blurt out something along the lines of "can I get your number"
>she asks me for a pen, writes it on my hand
>via text, get to know her, her name is Elodie and she lives in the area I do, west side of town
>we text back and forth for a few weeks, nothing impure
>start really getting to like her, we exchange adresses
>I show up at her house while it was raining, I needed some company because I used to get sad when it rained
>awkwardly greet her, I can tell my face is alight
>"Come on in"
>she's smiling at me
Oh, I still remember that smile.
>"I was just about to tell you to come over"
>she laughs, sounds like a choir of angels
>everything about her is beautiful, I can hardly contain myself
>fast forward a few weeks, we've been friends for a couple months now
>I gather the courage to tell her how I feel, in person of course
>her face turns red, she sort of runs away
>heart absolutely shattered, legs won't move, she's slipping away
>don't see her or talk to her for a few days
>suddenly get a text from her
>"Hey, Anon, come to my house, we need to talk"
Fuck.
>walk over to her house in a hurry, my heard and mind racing
>I knock on her door faintly, I can hardly get my hand to move
>She opens almost instantly, smiles at me, she looks nervous
>I can hardly make eye contact, smile at her as well
>"So..about what you said.."
>time stops, I'm shaking harder than an earthquake
>"I'm sorry it took me so long, but..I feel the same"
Cont?
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Go on but only if this comment is original
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>>36854057
Cont.
>She asks me if I'm okay, apparently I was looking at her weird
"F-Fine"
>"So..what now?"
"I don't know."
>"Me neither.."
>she gets up and sits next to me, then kisses me on the cheek
>fast forward a few days, we decide to start dating
>Happiest man alive
>fast foward two months or so, summer hits, I go see her almost every day
>we talk and play vidya, hug and kiss, etc
>junior year hits, I'm incredibly stressed after a week or so
>start not going over weekly like I had been
>Get support from her, as a good gf should
>one day we get into an argument
>I snap like a Goddamn twig
>explode at her, almost hit her
>come to a sudden realization of what I was just doing, never been so horrified in my life
>literally run out of her house
>go home and lay in my bed for a while
>appologize to her later, promise her I'll never do something like that again
>a few weeks later, happens again
>come to the realization I'd betrayed her
>I appologize a million times in vain
>nothing happens much, I take some anger management classes so I don't freak out at her again
>things are going well, fast forward to senior year
>we skype at night one day, I'm on a religious retreat with my school
>she looks sad, uninterested, won't tell me why
>I get home after the week ends, go over her house
>she's still sad, I comfort her, she gets better after being with me for a few hours, by which point it's 10 PM or so, generally late
>Tell her I have to go home, she invites me to stay with her
>I sleep next to her, nothing sexual
>a few weeks go by, she's feeling happy, so am I
Then it happened.
She got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, this is when everything went downhill.
>starts having to take medicine, often depressed, etc
>starts becoming a strain to stay happy because of her
>fast forward to the middle of senior year, things have gradually declines
>she texts me at 1 AM
"I'm sorry Anon, it's over. I don't love you any more."
Cont.
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horry she
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>>36854414
cont bro
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>>36854414
Cont.
>absolutely crushed, never felt anything so awful in my life
>think of all the letters we exchanged, the memories
>hang out with friends a shit ton more, trying to take my mind off it
>summer hits, I walk by her house, burst into tears, collapse to my knees
>wipe my eyes after crying for a few minutes
>get up, walk back to my house
>lay on my deck, it starts to pour rain
>I lay down looking up at the sky, getting drenched
>I lay for what seemed like hours, crying in the rain, contemplating what to do with my life from here
>can't come up with anything, my mind is flooded with what seemed like the easy answer, killing myself
>disregard my family, friends, the world, God
>I just wanted death
>look up how to tie a noose, go downstairs to my basement and tie the noose to one of the rafters
>try to hang myself, just as I'm passing out the knot breaks, I fall to the floor
>I scream like I have never screamed in my life
>not horror,sadness,nor pain, just a scream of pure agony
>I pass out and wake up the next day, don't go to school for a few days to recover physically and mentally
>come back, pretend like everything is normal
>nobody notices that I'm depressed
>never go to therapy or anything, just let my depression fester
Eventually, after about a year or so, everything went numb. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like I can't feel anything anymore.
Pic related, it's one of the things she drew me, it was attached to a letter. I still kept some of the stuff.
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>>36854695
look dude, your stress might have been because of school-you should never have been FORCED to go to school.
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>>36854057
Another of the things she sent me, forgive the mess in the background.
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>>36854057
why the fuck o d ei keep fetting fconnetion errors
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>>36854695
she is just a girl dude chill
do you seriously want to kill yourself over a girl that slobbed like 4 knobs while you broke up?
im off this board fucking betas are too much
kill yourself you goddamn crybaby faggot
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>>36854057
this is fucking silly, this is like the opposite of what I come here for
fucking normalfucks
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